天光墟 TinGwongHeoi

没有父母和老师对于恋爱的干预，高中的Jean成了自己恋爱的”第一责任人”。在这期节目中，我们将会聊聊，在享受恋爱甜蜜的同时，Jean也面对着恋爱和人生其他任务如何平衡的纠结和困难。尽管高考失利，但是Jean和她的父母都没有将其归咎于所谓的”早恋”。反而，这次的失利驱使Jean在大学的四年有了更深的向内审视，也有了更强的内驱力。她开始复盘自己应该怎么面对待人生的不同体验和任务，如何处理恋爱和自己生活的关系。我特别喜欢Jean的一个观点是，没有谁天生就会平衡恋爱和生活，我们都是在挫折、经历中成长。 是的，爱是一种需要练习的能力。 With no parents or teachers dictating her young romance, Jean in high school stepped up as the lead in her love story. This episode dives into how Jean savored the joys of young love while grappling with the challenge of juggling it alongside other life commitments. She didn't ace her college entrance exams, but neither she nor her folks pinned the outcome on her early romance. Rather, that bump in the road prompted Jean to look inward during her university years, igniting a stronger sense of self-motivation. She reflected on managing life's varied experiences and responsibilities, and the dynamic between romance and personal life. One point Jean makes that I find particularly striking is the notion that balancing love and life isn't innate; it's a skill honed through trials and life's lessons. Indeed, love is an art that requires practice. ***Full Transcript*** Medium @TinGwongHeoi

在这期节目中，我将和Jean继续讨论在她高中的“早恋”当中，学校和老师扮演了什么样的角色。在上海的一所私立高中上学，Jean没有经历过老师对于恋爱的过度、甚至是暴力干预。尽管如此，关于性和恋爱，老师还是三缄其口。跟性教育相关的内容，即使已经出现在课本上，相关的那几页，还是会被老师轻轻翻过。 所以Jean形容我们中国孩子对于性和爱情的认知，是“无师自通”，或者我认为，生活成了最好的老师。由于信息源的杂乱，性启蒙、性教育可能来自于偶像剧，可能来自于医院厕所的小广告，也可能来源于父母老师的吞吞吐吐。性教育的缺乏、对于良好亲密关系的缺乏认知、缺乏想像，我们似乎只能从实际的生活中慢慢探索，即使会摔很多没有必要的跤，悲哀的是，似乎也避无可避。 In this episode, I will continue the conversation with Jean on how her high school in Shanghai, a place presumably more progressive, still saw teachers playing a mute role in her journey through teenage romance. Even faced with no overt or aggressive meddling by teachers, there was still a deafening silence on sex and love. Content on sex education, even when sitting right there in the curriculum, was swiftly skipped over in class. Jean notes that young people in China often come to understand sex and love through a sort of “informal education” - learning by life itself, arguably the harshest teacher. With such a muddled array of information sources - from romantic TV series to the stammered talks by parents and teachers - we are left to navigate these waters largely alone, stumbling along the way. And the tragic part, it seems, is that such falls are as much a part of growing up as they are seemingly inevitable. ***Full Transcript: Medium @TinGwongHeoi***

一般而言，对于中国家长来说，“性”、“爱情”似乎是一个相对禁忌的话题。无从说起，无从下口。当恋爱的气息悄然而至，对于我们来说，除了兴奋、好奇，似乎也多了很多害怕、不安，即来源于对新奇人生体验的不熟悉，也来源于外界的反应，可能是父母的耳提面命，也可能是老师再三的强调“早恋影响成绩”。如何对待爱，如何爱别人，爱自己，似乎是需要一生去探索的话题。但面对情窦初开的我们，我们能做什么？老师能做什么？父母能做什么？让我们来更好地面对这一人生课题呢？在本期节目中，我将和我的好朋友Jean一起聊聊她的非典型性的中国父母是如何参与女儿的“早恋”的。小时候的圣诞节，Jean都会收到父母以圣诞老人的口吻写给她的卡片，长大后，当她面对恋爱，也选择了写信的方式，宣告她的这个“早恋”决定。 In the Chinese context, topics like "sex" and "romance" are often skirted around, tricky to broach and navigate. When young love starts to blossom, it’s not just excitement and wonder we feel, but also trepidation and uncertainty. These feelings stem from both the novelty of the experience and societal reactions—whether it’s parents' cautionary tales or teachers hammering home the notion that "young romance can jeopardize academic success." Understanding love, learning how to love others and oneself, feels like a lifelong journey. As we grapple with these early emotions, how should we, and those guiding us like teachers and parents, approach and understand this intricate chapter of life? In today's episode, I'll be discussing with my dear friend Jean, diving into her unique story of how her unconventional Chinese parents engaged with her early romantic endeavors. Growing up, every Christmas, Jean would find cards from her parents, penned as if Santa Claus himself had written them. As she matured and started navigating the world of romance, she, in a poignant echo of the past, chose to communicate her feelings and choices through heartfelt letters. ***Full Transcript*** https://medium.com/@tingwongheoi

Hello and a warm welcome to "Tin Gwong Heoi". If the dark seems daunting, let's stick around for sunrise. Thinking back to our younger days, the flutter of first love might resonate with many. We’ve all been cautiously curious about the concept of "romance". However, faced with varied views from our teachers and parents about youthful relationships, our understanding, and journey through love have taken different paths. For some, so-called “early love” in the Chinese context became a lesson in independence and bravery, while for others, societal pushbacks of “early love” led to suppressed feelings, leaving them uncertain and indifferent towards future intimate relationships. In today's sneak peek, we'll delve into the origins and public perceptions of 'zaolian' (i.e., early love / precocious love) in China, briefly getting to the root causes. Plus, I'll give you a glimpse into the captivating stories we'll unravel in our next three episodes. ***Full Transcript*** https://medium.com/@tingwongheoi/full-transcript-trailer-a-glimpse-into-zaolian-precocious-love-in-china-5-min-f70825f7c0e8