2 Dumb 2 Tame

Just got dental coverage for the first time in years so I wanted to get my teeth cleaned. Not going to lie the dentist was kinda sus. The cleaning was a little haphazard and they left that tiny vacuum in my mouth and walked away while it sucked onto my dingle dangle. Also there was a beefed, sweaty man in the bathroom soooooooo.......

People talk about the "terrible twos" but I always thought it was just a saying until I had to babysit babysit my nephew while I visited my family in Connecticut. It wasn't all bad - sometimes he's funny, sometimes he's cute, but overall he's kinda terrifying.  

I don't know what it is but women's clothing makes no sense to me. Why does everything have to have the word "cream" on it? What does that mean? What are they trying to say?!?! I recently started shopping in the boys section - turns out the t-shirt selection is significantly better.

My parents moved out of New York last year and needed to get rid of a bunch of old stuff that they had accumulated over the years. I offered to sell some of the nicer stuff in exchange for a small commission (a girl's gotta make cash during covid somehow.) I sold a rug for them two months ago which was pretty easy but had no idea how complicated it would be to sell an original Peanuts cartoon that they had for some reason. 

Hi, this is Mia. I'm going to be writing these descriptions in the first person from how on. Is it weird? Idk maybe. But I thought it might be more fun. In today's podcast I talk about some of the injuries I've had over the years, mostly from ballet, which tbh is not something you should let your kids do. Most recently my thoracic area of my spine and my scalene muscles have been giving me some problems? What are those? You've got to listen to find out.  I also talk about how I found Bob & Brad a youtube physical therapist duo who I think have helped me feel better? Are they lovers? Idk. Do I wish they were? Yes. Do they have a lot of branded devices that could be used to fix your back as well as sex things? Also yes. Mia

Recently Mia's husband got into chess which is...unfortunate. She rants about how Queen's Gambit would have been better without chess and how pawns look like nips. She also listened to a TEDx talk about patience and decided that it's not for her. She would definitely eat that marshmallow. @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

Mia and her husband generate what seems like TOO much garbage for two people - even taking into account how much Mia likes to upcycle. She dove into the world of waste reducing lifestyles and found a ton of info that's both confusing and sometimes gross. @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

Everyone in Mia's life has watched The Bachelor except for her - her friends, her sisters, and even her husband. She finally takes the plunge and genuinely can't believe what she's seeing, starting with the fact that it's TWO HOURS LONG! 2dumb2tame.com miapinchoff.com

Mia's building recently had a break in and the management company hasn't done anything to fix the situation so she's taking things into her own hands. Her "Home Alone" security measures include pepper gel and a vacuum cleaner with a cat head mounted on top. 

Mia interviews Galit Friedlander a choreographer, podcaster, trainer, and her oldest friend. They talk about her journey from dance to training, what her favorite muscle is, and their idea to do ASMR workout content. You can find Galit's podcast DanceSpeak on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dancespeak/id1111916220 Check out her training program on Patreon: patreon.com/TrainWithGalit Galit's Instagram: instagram.com/gogalit

Mia recently saw Anaconda, which...wow Jon Voight is all over the place but her thoughts about the movie quickly turns to the gross and sexual when she discovers that snakes have two penises. She also checks out an article about Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles exploding....yeah. It's a weird one.

Mia's husband has been given her crap about how long it takes her to get ready. Recently he asked her to go over her shower routine but she'd rather have you be the judge - spoiler warning. It's kind of ridiculous...I who else starts off their shower by dust busting the entire bathroom??

Mia's garden had an aphid infestation, so right before new year she bought 1500 ladybugs because apparently they like to chow down on aphids. The only problem is that she only realized she's afraid of ladybugs after she bought them. The ladybugs turned out to be good at two things. Eating aphids and boning. 

Did everyone spend their first stimulus check on a Peloton? Mia goes over how intense she used to work out at the gym and how that was difficult to translate to home work outs. She also volunteers to be a motivational insulter for anyone that wants to get their butt off the couch but needs to be demeaned in order to do so.   Want to try the workout that Mia is doing? You can find more info and sign up for next month at trainwithgalit.com

Mia doesn't know anything about basketball. The only time she ever sees it is when her husband has it on in the living room but apparently it's pre-season! So she's decided to take look at the NBA names and logos and, like an octopus, make a completely uninformed prediction who will win the NBA finals in 2021. Also, she was very disappointed that the Denver Nuggets weren't named after chicky nuggiez.

Apparently, Mia only watches shows that no one else has seen (Getting On...anyone? It's fantastic). So she watched the two top rated comedies from last season Young Sheldon and Mom to see what all the fuss was about. They were the only comedies in the top 50, which is depressing. The whole list was basically football, football, football, crime, crime, crime, and The Voice. 

This year is a disaster but that doesn't mean holiday gifts should be too. Mia goes over how covid and quarantine life has changed the kinds of gifts she wants to get for her family as well as the kinds of gifts she wants for herself.

Mia has been skeptical of companies pushing self care for a while - mostly because she's not good at it. However, it turns out that other people, smarter people...like doctors and scientists and stuff, also think there's reason to give self care branded rosé some side eye. Mia also got a new microphone. Let us know if her "esses" are less esss-y and her "p's" are less penis-y...I don't know...she said it.

Mia wonders if hypnotherapy would be able to help her get over her fears of filming herself (if you follow her on instagram or youtube you know she never posts vlog style videos), her pickiness about elastic, and her inability to wear mismatching socks. She also researches what hypnotherapy actually entails and who the top hypnotherapist in Los Angeles is - unfortunately it was a man named Brice sooooo yeah...not encouraging.   

Mia has a tiny collection... a collection of tiny things not one that doesn't have a lot of things in it. She doesn't know why she feels the need to keep things so she set about figuring out why - using science, which she has a hard time understanding. This was also recorded the day they declared the election for Biden so Mia also talks about her unhealthy curiosity about Wolf Blitzer's sleepwear.

Mia has a love hate relationship with zoom and by that I mean mostly hate. Teaching her 70 year old uncles and aunts how to mute themselves was a struggle and she finds it uncomfortable sending selfies to her dermatologist. There have been some bright spots. Her nephew called her funny when she was "virtually babysitting." So that's something...

In the last six weeks or so a suspicious amount of stuff has broken in Mia's apartment and her landlord isn't exactly the best when it comes to fixing things well or quickly. She thought about trying to fix some stuff herself but it turns out she didn't inherit the "handy" gene from her mom. To be honest, she doesn't know the difference between a washer, an anchor, and a nut.

Mia's husband is difficult to buy gifts for in general but during quarantine it was basically impossible. Mia goes over how she gave away all of her best ideas and how everything that could have went wrong did. Also, a handyman interrupts the episode to replace a ceiling tile and he doesn't know how to use a vacuum cleaner.

New York is officially dead to Mia but mostly because her parents are selling the apartment she grew up in. She's going through some things and is worried that her Mom threw away all of her stuff.  Also, apparently she and her sisters had lice all the time when they were kids...I don't know. Things got weird.

Mia didn't have a good college experience socially or with her education. She had to change her life plan shortly before applying and didn't have time to consider what she actually wanted to do. She breaks down why she ended up going to NYU and why it was probably the wrong decision. Hopefully the kiddos out there will do what she didn't do and listen to their elders.

Mia ventured out from her house for the first time in months to get mochi from Fugetsu-do, a 117 year old mochi shop in the Little Tokyo section of downtown LA.  She tries to figure out what makes the pillow-y goodness of mochi so good. It may be her new favorite desert even though it can apparently kill people.

An article was recently published that describes how people "vacationing" in the Hamptons are paying five hundred dollars for a single, rapid results Covid test. Mia expresses her frustration that, not only are the tests not very accurate, so it's really just for show but these folks are so painfully out of touch.  Mia gives an update on her broken toe and asks for suggestions for her husbands birthday. 

Mia has a conversation with her husband's cousin to get an Indian perspective on the reality show. They cover the unique cultural pressures that are present within the Indian community, the treatment of men versus women, rituals surrounding Indian marriages, and some of the show's best moments.

Somehow Indian Matchmaking is the first full season of reality tv Mia has ever watched. She also happens to married to a man who's half-indian and may or may not have forced her to watch it. She breaks down all the reasons she wouldn't have been chosen if her husband had an arranged marriage (it's not just because she's Jewish) and shares her favorite parts of the show.

Mia broke her pinky toe - it's tiny, it's embarrassing, and now it's broken but is it useless otherwise? Mia does a deep dive on vestigial structures in the body - like male nipples - and even vestigial behaviors in animal - like fake lizard sex. 

After last week's episode Mia felt that she needed to get some real world opinions rather than relying on blog posts and listicles to inform her opinion about pregnancy. So she interviewed her mom, mother-in-law, and a friend via Zoom to find out more about their pregnancy experiences. 

No, Mia isn't pregnant, despite how much her mother would like her to be but a lot of her friends have had kids or are currently pregnant and she's been thinking about it more.  She shares some of her worries and medical complications that can come up but also busts some common myths about pregnancy.  This is the first of two episodes about baby making. Next week she will share some conversations she's had with people who have been pregnant.

Mia thinks she may have found a new hobby and explores why she never had one before. During quarantine Mia has become obsessed with crocheting. She's shares what she's made and tries to examine why she never had a real hobby growing up. For every episode of the podcast Mia donates to Black Girls Code. You can find more information about the organization on blackgirlscode.com. Mia is a writer and stand up comedian. You can find her on instagram and twitter under Mia Pinchoff.

Mia unpacks her love of crime podcasts and tries to figure out what draws her to them.  She details when she first got into them, what she finds appealing, how they could be useful, and lists some of her favorites. She also dives into why women tend to be fans and if they are doing any good in the world.  For each episode of 2 Dumb 2 Tame, Mia donates to Black Girls Code. www.blackgirlscode.com

Mia is back with her first quarantine pod. She details her trouble sleeping and how we may have made it too complicated for our own good. For each episode of the podcast Mia makes a donation to Black Girls Code. A non profit dedicated to empowering black girls between the ages of 7 and 17 to become leaders and innovators in STEM fields.

Mia ties to distill her rules for flying that everyone should follow. She recounts the series of incidents that led her to create her rules about respecting other passengers physical, auditory, olfactory, and emotional space - most of them boil down to wear socks and don't take off your shoes when you don't have to. @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

Mia recently learned that not only care cat penises barbed so that the female can't get away - I know it's horrifying - but they also are bad at peeing. Earlier this month, Mia's cat Mozy was afflicted with a urinary blockage which required an expensive trip to the animal hospital. She describes that journey, the reason cats are so prone to getting it, and the steps you can take to prevent your cats narrow urethra from getting clogged....gross! She also shares some theories on Vets and how they all seem a little lonely and all do animal drugs. @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

We are back with a new season and a new format. This podcast has changed and morphed over many episodes… and so have we! Me and my producer-husband (proband? Husber?) have learned a ton along the way and are super grateful to everyone that has been along for the ride but we also started to feel like the podcast was losing momentum and purpose… gross. So we decided to stop (get married) and re think the format so we can bring you the freshness you deserve! Instagram/twitter @miapinchoff

Mia sits down with comedian and former Veep writer Emilia Barrosse to talk about their mutual love of cats, how you can still be a feminist and be uncomfortable with mucus membranes, and how Taylor Swift could be doing so, so much more damn it! They also discuss how Emilia follow but doesn't "Follow" the Kardashians, whether God has a sense a of humor, and attempt to draw each other as cats. You can see the results of that on Mia's Instagram. Emilia is a comedian and comedy writer. She also runs the LA/San Diego based comedy show Just Tryna Make Friends. In the past year they've expanded to cities all around the US so check out their instagram @JTMFshow to see if they are bringing the show to a city near you. Follow Emilia @emilia.barrosse Follow Mia @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

Mia sits down with fellow comedian Cat Adell to talk about her viral video Mind Your Own F*ucking Business, her rescue dogs with special needs, and her work with puppets. You can check out Cat's sketch here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugaK9NQVwUg @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

Alice shares some facts about the porn industry that Alice has learned since starting her podcast. Mia also asks her about how her crayons were banned from Amazon. Alice also breaks down some vintage porn recommendations. twogirlsonemic.com offensivecrayons.com/ 2dumb2tame.com twitter.com/miapinchoff

Mia sits down to talk with Jeremy Long about the movie's on his Google Knowledge Panel and how jealous she is of his. They also research the unfortunate story of the other Jeremy Long and Mia shares what will cause her to walk out of a horror movie....it's ridiculous list. 2dumb2tame.com @miapinchoff

Mia reacts to the craziest invention of 2019 - the SALMON CANON. She also has a ton of opinions on dress slits and a disturbing sleep hood that's definitely not allowed on airplanes. 2dumb2tame.com twitter.com/miapinchoff

Mia covers how a fart gave a criminal away to the cops, her upcoming wedding, and a singing pickle. She recaps the ups and downs of planning a wedding. Little secret - it's the reason there haven't been many podcasts lately. Specifically, she complains about how Isaac doesn't want to take her last name - there is a bet involved. In addition she recaps a ridiculous news article where a manhunt ended when the criminal farted - giving away his position. I'm not going to say it was a good source of puns butt… In Dumb Sh*t for Sale, Mia takes a look at a yodeling pickle - yup, a pickled cucumber that sings. 2dumb2tame.com twitter.com/miapinchoff instagram.com/miapinchoff

Mia details her first car accident, explains a fight between an amateur MMA fighter and Vita Coco, and laments that Alabama is now under his eye. She discusses the incredibly important upcoming memoir by Lamar Odom and how Jeff Koons' rabbit sold for so much. She also checks out a fanny pack that looks like a naked, hairy, beer belly.

Mia sits down with Von Decarlo to discuss her new Patreon, her stand up journey, with a few basketball related questions from my listeners. Von's daughter Mimi also teaches Mia and Von what a finsta is. Coach Von Podcast, uses sports to anchor into fun, yet honest, conversations about life, love, and relationships The Coach Von Podcast will relaunch in April as a live streaming show with guest comedians talking candidly after performing on her monthly comedy show Let's Talk About It with Coach Von. Both shows will be available on Patreon, giving fans exclusive, raw content. KEEP UP WITH VON! PATREON: patreon.com/coachvon WEBSITE: vondecarlo.com INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/vondecarlo TWITTER: twitter.com/vondecarlo Mimi's INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/aymilzzz_

Mia sits down with Roten and Arik to talk about their new app BITS, a video editor and social platform aimed specifically at funny creators and their fans. They break down how their app gives comedy creators the tools they need to make content quickly without any unnecessary steps in the way. They also break down the void left by vine, how their platform fits into a market dominated by Instagram, and how comedy in Israel isn't so different from comedy in the US. They also touch on the use of of the term "insta" and if God would want you to eat pork for one million dollars. If you want to check out BITS you can find it on the Apple App store or on Google Play. BITS on Apple App Store BITS on Google Play If you're a comedy creator or just a fan that likes to laugh and you have questions or feedback feel free to email Roten and Arik. [email protected] [email protected] 2dumb2tame.com @miapinchoff

Mia talks about how her year ended, her resolutions for next year, and how Louis capped off his 2018 in the most fitting way possible...by spewing all over some stage on Long Island. Mia also has some choice words for American Airlines, checks out a portable bidet that you can buy on Amazon, and recommends watching the new John Wayne Bobbitt special Love Hurts on ABC next week. 2019 is about to begin. The Trump presidency is almost half over. Hold onto your gagooch we're coming in for a landing.

Mia sits down to talk about how she's excited to be a god father to her soon to be nephew. She also asks why Slow TV, a Norwegian television phenomenon about every day things broadcast in their entirety, exists. The episode she watched was a train ride to Oslo - the full ride, from the front of the train, with no cuts....but why? She also takes a look at a fart absorbing seat cushion for people who suffer from toot attacks. 2dumb2tame.com @miapinchoff

Mia sits down to discuss Giuliani's under chin hang, how funny it was to see the reporters running out of Manafort's trial to delivery the news, and a croc who was just chillaxin, relaxin, actin all cool on a pool noodle. She also recounts her epic battle with a squirrel that keeps tearing up her plants. In Dumb Sh*t for Sale she also reviews a new butt exercise device that electrocutes your tush to perfection. @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com