A Day at a Time Reflections

Over and over, I see that those who make the best and steadiest progress in the Gamblers Anonymous Program of Recovery are those who readily accept the help of a Higher Power. Once they can do that, it's easier for them to get out of their own way. Their problems then seem to resolve themselves in a way that is beyond human understanding. Do I realize that the effectiveness with which I use the consciousness of God in my daily life depends not on Him, but on me? Today I Pray … May I know that my recovery and growth depends on my being in touch with my Higher Power, not just once in a while, but always. It means turning to that Power several times a day to ask for strength and knowledge of His will. When I understand that my own life is part of a Higher Plan, I will be less apt to trip and fall, head off in the wrong direction, or just to sit tight and let life pass me by. Today I Will Remember … To be God-conscious. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Now that I avail myself of the letters H-O-W suggested by friends in the Gamblers Anonymous Program Honesty, Open-Mindedness, Willingness - I see things in a new light. In ways that I couldn't have predicted and surely never expected, I've come to see things quite differently than I did before coming to GA. I feel good most days. I seldom feel bad, and never for long. Certainly never as bad as I used to feel all of the time. Is my worst day now infinitely better than my best day previously? Today I Pray … May I remember today to say "thank you" to my Higher Power, to my friends in the group, and to the whole, vast Fellowship of recovering compulsive gamblers for making me know that things do get better. I give thanks, too, for those verbal boosters, the tags and slogans which have so often burst into my brain at exactly the moments when they were needed, redefining my purpose, restoring my patience, reminding me of my God. Today I Will Remember … How it was. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

The slogans used in Gamblers Anonymous are seemingly clear and simple. Yet they may still have different meanings for different people, according to their own experiences and reactions to the words and ideas. Take, for example, the slogan "Let Go and Let God." For some people, it may suggest that all we have to do is sidestep the challenges that confront us and, somehow, God will do all the work. We must remember that God gives us free will, intelligence, and good senses - it is clearly His intention that we use these gifts. If I'm receptive, God will make His will known to me step by step, but I must carry it out. Do I sometimes act as if surrender to God's will is a passport to inertia? Today I Pray … May my "passport" be stamped and ready to take me forward. May my travels be motivated by challenges I can readily recognize as things to do, not things to watch. I pray that I may make the most of my gifts from God, of talents that I am aware of and some I have yet to discover. May I not "let go and give up" but keep on learning, growing, doing, serving, praying, carrying out the will of God as I understand it. Today I Will Remember … God meant me to make the most of myself. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

How, exactly, can a person turn his or her own will and life over to the care of a Higher Power? All that's needed is a beginning, no matter how small. The minute we put the key of willingness in the lock, the latch springs open. Then the door itself starts to open, perhaps ever so slightly; in time we find that we can always open it wider. Self-will may slam the door shut again, and it often does. But the door can always be reopened, time and time again if necessary, so long as we use our key of willingness. Have I reaffirmed my decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him? Today I Pray … May I renew my decision to turn my will and my life over to a Higher Power. May my faith be staunch enough to keep me knowing that there is, indeed, a power greater than I am. May I avail myself of that Power simply by being willing to walk humbly with my God. Today I Will Remember … Self-will minus self equals will. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Today I'll try to settle for less than I wish were possible, and be willing to not only accept it but to appreciate it. Today, I'll not expect too much of any one - especially myself. I'll try to remember that contentment comes from gratefully accepting the good that comes to us, and not from being furious at life because it's not "better." Do I realize the difference between resignation and realistic acceptance? Today I Pray … May I not set my sights unrealistically high, expect too much. May I look backwards long enough to see that my self-set, impossible goals were the trappings of my addiction; too often I ended up halfway there, confronted by my own failure. Those "foiled-again" or "I've-failed again" feelings became monumental excuses to give in to my gambling compulsion, which blanketed my miseries. May I avoid that sick old pattern. May I be realistic. Today I Will Remember … Good is good enough. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Gamblers Anonymous has taught me that the essence of all growth for me is a willingness to change for the better. Following that, I must have further willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails, and to take courageously every action that is required. "I am and know and will; I am knowing and willing; I know myself to be and to will; I will to be and to know." -St. Augustine Is willingness a key ingredient of my life and the way I work the GA Program? Today I Pray … I pray for willingness to do what I can, willingness to be what I can be, and what is sometimes hardest - willingness to be what I am. I pray, too, for energies to carry out my willingness in all that I do, so that I may grow in the ways of God and practice the principles of the Program in all my affairs. Today I will Remember … "I am and know and will." A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

When we're faced with some condition or situation not to our liking, how can we have faith that all things are working together for good? Perhaps we have to ask ourselves just what is faith. Faith has its foundation in truth and love. We can have faith, if we so choose, no matter what the situation. And, if we so choose, we can expect ultimate good to come forth. Have I made my choice? Today I Pray … May I be grateful for my God-given ability to make a choice. Out of this gratitude and my sense of the nearness of God, I have chosen faith. May that faith, as my chosen way, become strong enough to move mountains, strong enough to keep me free of my compulsion to gamble, mighty enough to hold back the tide of temptations that threaten me, optimistic enough to look past my present pain to ultimate happiness. Today I Will Remember … With faith, nothing is impossible. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

"It is the privilege of wisdom to listen," Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote. If I try as hard as I can to culti vate the art of listening - uncritically and without making premature judgments - chances are great that I'll progress more rapidly in my recovery. If I try as hard as I can to listen to the feelings and thoughts expressed rather than to the "speaker" - I may be blessed with an unexpectedly helpful idea. The essential quality of good listening is humility, which reflects the fact that God's voice speaks to us even through the least and most inarticulate of His children. Does my holier-than-thou attitude sometimes close my mind to the shared suggestions of others? Today I Pray … May my Higher Power keep me from being "holier-than-thou" with anyone whose manner or language or opposite point of view or apparent lack of knowledge turns me off to what they are saying. May I be listening always for the voice of God, which can be heard through the speech of any one of us. Today I Will Remember … Hear the speech, not the speaker. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Many of us come to the Gamblers Anonymous Program professing that we're agnostic or atheistic. As someone once put it, our will to disbelieve is so strong that we prefer a date with the undertaker to an experimental and open-minded search for a Higher Power. Fortunately for those of us with closed minds, the constructive forces in the GA Program almost always overcome our obstinacy. Before long, we discover the bountiful world of faith and trust. It was there all along, but we lacked the willingness and open-mindedness to accept it. Does obstinacy still sometimes blind me to the power for good that resides in faith? Today I Pray … I want to thank my Higher Power for this opportunity to open my mind; to learn again about faith and trust; to realize that my wanderings from honesty and reality did not change God's place within me or God's loving concern for me. May I know that it was my own doing that I lost faith. Thank God for another chance to believe. Today I Will Remember … Discard the will to disbelieve. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Very few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge is in the hands of God. This is a fact I must ultimately accept, in spite of my rebelliousness and stubborn resistance. From this day forward, I'll limit my prayers to requests for guidance, an open mind to receive it, and the strength to act upon it. To the best of my capability, I'll defer all decisions until my contact with my Higher Power has made it seemingly apparent that the decisions are right for me. Do I "bargain" with my Higher Power, assuming that I know what's best for me? Today I Pray … May I not try to make pacts with my Higher Power. Instead, may I be a vessel, open to whatever inspiration God wishes to pour into me. I pray that I will remember that God's decisions are better for me than my own fumbling plans, and that they will come to me at the times I need them. Today I Will Remember … I will not bargain - or bet - with God. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

For my own good, I'll go to meetings and participate in discussions with an open mind that's ready to receive and accept new ideas. For my own peace of mind and comfort, I'll determinedly try to apply those new ideas to my own life. I'll remember that the Gamblers Anonymous Program offers me the instruction and support I can't find elsewhere. I'll seek out others who understand my problems, and I'll accept their guidance in matters that cause me discomfort and confusion. Will I try to be willing to listen-and to share? Today I Pray … Thank you, God, for bringing the GA Program into my life, and with it a better understanding of Divine Power. Help me to remember that attendance and attentiveness at meetings are all-important to continuing in this happily discovered way of life. May I listen and share with honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. Today I Will Remember … Here's HOW: Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Long experience has proved that the Gamblers Anonymous Program and Twelve Steps will work for any person who approaches them with an open mind. We have to remember that we can't expect miracles overnight; after all, it took years to create the situation in which we find ourselves today. I'll try to be less hasty in drawing judgmental conclusions. I'll hang on to the expectation that the GA Program can change my entire life as long as I give it a chance. Have I begun to realize that my ultimate contentment doesn't depend on having things work out my way? Today I Pray … I pray for a more receptive attitude; for a little more patience, a little less haste, and more humility in my judgments. May I always understand that change will come-it will all happen-if I will listen for God's will. God grant me perseverance, for sometimes I must wait awhile for the Steps to take effect. Today I Will Remember … Patience. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Faced with almost certain destruction by our addiction to gambling, we eventually had no choice but to become open-minded on spiritual matters. In that sense, the multitude of ways we used to bet and wager were potent persuaders; they finally whipped us into a state of reasonableness. We came to learn that when we stubbornly close the doors on our minds, we're locking out far more than we're locking in. Do I immediately reject new ideas? Or do I patiently strive to change my old way of living? Today I Pray … May I keep an open mind, especially on spiritual matters, remembering that "spiritual" is a bigger word than "religious." (I was born of the Spirit, but I was taught religion.) May I remember that a locked mind is a symptom of my addiction and an open mind is essential to my recovery. Today I Will Remember … If I lock more out than I lock in, what am I protecting? A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Conditioned as we are by our old ideas and old ways of living, it's understandable that we tend to resist certain suggestions made to us when we first come to the Gamblers Anonymous Program. If that's the case, there's no need to reject such suggestions permanently; it's better, we've found, just temporarily to set them aside. The point is, there's no hard-and-fast "right" way or "wrong" way. Each of us uses what's best for him or her at a particular time, keeping an open mind about other kinds of help we may find valuable at another time. Am I trying to remain open-minded? Today I Pray … May I be enlightened about the real meaning of an open mind, aware that my one time definition of "open-minded" as "broad-minded" doesn't seem to fit here. May I constantly keep my mind open to the suggestions of the solid many who came into this Program before me. What has worked for them can work for me, no matter how far-fetched or how obvious it may be. Today I Will Remember … Only an open mind can be healed. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

These days, I go to meetings to listen for the similarities between me and others in Gamblers Anonymous - not the differences. And when I look for the similarities, it's amazing how many I find, particularly in the area of feelings. Today I go to meetings thinking that I'm here not because of anyone else's addictions, but because of mine and, most importantly, what my addiction did to my spirit and body. I'm here because there's no way I can stay free of my addiction by myself. I need the GA Program and my Higher Power. Am I becoming less harsh in my judgment of others? Today I Pray … May I stay alert as I listen, just one more time, to Jack or Jill or Fred or Sam or Martha go through his or her tale of woe or wail. May I find, when I listen with the wholehearted attention I want to be able to give, that each has something to offer me to add to my own life-tale. May I be struck once again by our samenesses. May each sameness draw us nearer to each other's needs. Today I Will Remember … In sameness there is strength. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

In many respects, the Fellowship of Gamblers Anonymous is like a reasonably happy cruise ship or, in time of trouble, like a convoy. But in the long run, each of us must chart his or her own course through life. When the seas are smooth, we may become careless. By neglecting Step Ten, we may get out of the habit of checking our position. If we're mindful of Step Ten, however, then we rarely go so far wrong that we can't make a few corrections and get back on course again. Do I realize that regular practice of Step Ten can help to bring me into serenity and a happier frame of mind? Today I Pray … May Step Ten be the sextant by which I read my whereabouts at sea, so that I can correct my course, rechart it as I am heading for shallow places. May I keep in mind that, if it weren't for an all-knowing Captain and the vigilance of my fellow crew members, this ship could be adrift and I could easily panic. Today I Will Remember … To steer by a steady star. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Someone once defined the ego as "the sum total of false ideas about myself." Persistent reworking of the Twelve Steps enables me gradually to strip away my false ideas about myself. This permits nearly imperceptible but steady growth in my understanding of the truth about myself. And this, in turn, leads to a growing understanding of God and other human beings. Do I strive for self-honesty, promptly admitting when I'm wrong? Today I Pray … God, teach me understanding; teach me to know truth when I meet it; teach me the importance of self-honesty, so that I may be able to say, sincerely, "I was wrong," along with "I am sorry." Teach me that there is such a thing as a "healthy ego" which does not require that feelings be medicated by action highs. May I slowly, on my tightrope-move toward the ideal of balance, so I can do away with the nets of falsehood and compulsion. Today I Will Remember … To keep my balance. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

The Gamblers Anonymous Program is a road, not a resting place. Before we came to this Program - and, for some living of us, many times afterward - most of us looked for answers to our problems in religion, philosophy, psychology, in theories of self-control and personal growth. Often these explorations of ours aimed at goals that were precisely what we wanted: freedom, calm, confidence, and joy. But they seldom provided any workable methods for getting there-for how to get from the doldrums of despair we found ourselves in to where we wanted to be. Do I truly believe that I can find everything that I need and really want through the Twelve Steps? Today I Pray … May I know that, once through the Twelve Steps, I am not on a plane surface. For life is not a flat field, but a slope upward. And those flights of Steps must be taken over and over and remembered. May I be sure that, once I have made them totally familiar to me, they will take me anywhere I want to go. Today I Will Remember … The Steps are a road, not a resting place. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Samuel Johnson wrote: "... he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything other than his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove." Today I understand that I am not the evil person I once thought I was, only that I have made mistakes in my lifetime that caused me and those I love much pain and grief. By changing myself today, I can face my unsettled past as a time of learning. I hope that those close to me will learn to respect the healthy choices I am making today, rather than dwelling on all the unhealthy choices I used to make. Has the Serenity Prayer taught me to spend my efforts on changing only those things I can - namely things about myself? Today I Pray … Help me understand that I must seek the answers to change within myself. May I choose the things that bring me happiness and serenity, and avoid the things that bring me turmoil and grief. If I allow my Higher Power to guide my life, I will be given all that is needed to make the right choices today. Today I Will Remember … With God's help, I choose to change myself. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

When we speak with a friend in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we shouldn't hesitate to remind him or her of our need for privacy. Intimate communication is normally so free and easy among us that even a friend or sponsor may sometimes forget when we expect him to remain silent. Such "privileged communications" have important advantages. For one thing, we find in them the perfect opportunity to be as honest as we know how to be. For another, we don't have to worry about the possibility of injury to other people, nor the fear of ridicule or condemnation. At the same time, we have the best possible chance to spot self-deception. Am I trustworthy for those who trust me? Today I Pray … I pray for God's assistance in making me a trusted confidant. I need to be a person others will be willing to share with. I need to be an open receiver, not just a transmitter. Today I pray for a large portion of tried-and-trueness, so that I may be a better and more receptive friend to those who choose to confide in me. Today I Will Remember … Be a receiver. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions. Is honesty so deeply repressed under layers of guilt that I can't release it to understand my motives? Being honest with ourselves isn't easy. It's difficult to search out why I had this or that impulse and, more importantly, why I acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the crutch of "the alibi," yet my willingness to be vulnerable will go a long way toward helping me grow in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.Am I becoming more aware that self deception multiplies my problems?Today I Pray … May God remove my urge to make excuses. Help me face up to the realities that surface when I am honest with myself. Help me to know, as certainly as day follows sunrise, that my difficulties will be lessened if I can only trust God's will.Today I Will Remember …. I will be willing to do God's will.A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Some people in the Gamblers Anonymous Program feel that they can't do the things they want to do. They doubt their own ability. But actually, every person has untapped ability. We're children of God, which should give us a strong clue as to the infinite nature of our ability. As spiritual beings, we're unlimited. We may find it easier to accept this as true of some person who shines in a particular field. I may compare my own accomplishments with another's and feel discouraged. But the only comparison I need make or should make is with myself. Am I a better, more productive person today? Today I Pray … May I realize that I am a child of God. And His loving-parent promise to give me what I need, not what I might want, is His way of teaching me to be what I am, not what I dreamed I should be. As a spiritual being, I can truly become a productive person, perhaps even do some of the things I once felt unable to do without the gambler's grandiosity, which lulled me into false confidence. Today I Will Remember … To compare me with the old me. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

I am free to be, to do, to accept, to reject. I am free to be the wise, loving, kind, and patient person I want to be. I'm free to do that which I consider wise — that which will in no way harm or hinder another person. I'm free to do that which will lead me into paths of peace and satisfaction. I'm free to decide for or against, to say no and to say yes. I'm free to live life in a productive way and to contribute what I have to give to life. Am I coming to believe that I am free to be the best self I am able to be? Today I Pray … Let the freedom I am now experiencing continue to flow through my life into productiveness, into the conviction of life's goodness I have always wanted to share. May I accept this freedom with God's blessing and use it wisely. Today I Will Remember … Let freedom ring true. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

STEP 7 Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. Now you're being asked to seek, to remove, via your Higher Power, your character defects. Is this really necessary? It certainly is! Character defects were a major portion of the reason one gambled. Therefore, keeping these defects can lead one back to gambling. For example, let's take one defect - anger. Assume you get into an argument, handle it poorly and become blindly angry, anger turns into rage. Then you feel something must be done to relieve this terrible hateful feeling and resort to what comes naturally - gambling. In the past, as you know, that pain caused by anger was at least temporarily eased through gambling Compulsive gambling is a learned, inadequate response to life. You must rid yourself of the disturbances that you have acquired through gambling What can be done to prevent such a relapse? First, you must have a desire to remove this defect. To realize the shortcoming can destroy you, desire comes more easily if you realize what is at stake. If you are masochistic, the desire to change may be slower in coming. Assuming you want to live, however, try to take the step as indicated and humbly ask your Higher Power to remove the defect. Humbly ask for help? A nice person who never hurt anyone except themselves. When you've survived for so long, all by yourself, how can you humbly ask for help? Look at your track record with absolute honesty. Have you really been a winner? This honest look at your chaotic years should assure you that anger must go, if only a little at a time. You can only concentrate on one defect at a time. This is a slower process, but it enables you to focus more clearly. Also, working defects singly is, for most, more comfortable. Having selected a defect, seek help from your Higher Power. Each morning shortly after getting up, seek the will of your Higher Power daily as life's problems arise. Ask for help in reducing or removing the defect on which you will be working on that day. You must do the leg work so your Higher Power can finish the job as He sees fit. At this point, learning to cope is a new adventure. This is something many refused or were unable to do before entering Gamblers Anonymous. It's strange at first, but each time you cope you get better at it. When you leave the world of reality and slip into irrational anger, you should now be able to recognize that something is wrong. You now have to get yourself back on the right track so you can go deal with today. Anger, the defect on which you were working, still might be a problem. It will scare you when you react with so little control. Anger could lead you back to a bet via the hatred and resentment created. You're not entitled to be angry; it's an enemy, not a friend. Each day, practice restraint until, God willing, you have formed a beautiful new habit, a positive habit. Today anger should be under control and cannot lead you back into your addiction. Feel good about that. The same procedure can then be applied to another defect. Now you can see how your Higher Power can remove defects, if your Higher Power chooses to do so. Get A Day at a Time here → https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH G.A. A New Beginning https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC

It's time for me to become willing to do what it takes to recover my personal responsibility, even if that means giving over the financial reins to another. Just as there are paradoxes in the Steps admitting my life's unmanageability in order that it become manageable again, surrendering to a Higher Power in order to become liberated - there will be other paradoxes in my recovery. Allowing a trusted family member or professional to take over management of my finances in order for me to become fiscally responsible may be one of those paradoxes. I have proved that I am powerless over gambling - and over the emotional highs and lows that went with it. Now is the time to give up my lonely disaster course and begin to interact with others, accepting any help my Higher Power provides. Have I accepted that, although my recovery is my own, I sometimes need to count on others for their help and encouragement? Today I Pray … May the Gamblers Anonymous Program, with God's help, give me a chance to live a steady, creative, outreaching life. May I accept the strength others offer me, as I willingly share my strength with others. May I realize on this Declaration of Independence Day that I, too, have a celebration of freedom from my gambling addiction. Today I Will Remember … To celebrate my personal freedom. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Change is a part of the flow of life. Sometimes we're frustrated because change seems slow in coming. Sometimes, too, we're resistant to a change that seems to have been thrust upon us. We must remember that change, in and of itself, neither binds us nor frees us. Only our attitude toward change binds or frees. As we learn to flow with the stream of life, praying for guidance about any change that presents itself - praying, also, for guidance if we want to make a change and none seems in view we become willing. Am I willing to let God take charge, directing me in the changes I should make and the course I should take? Today I Pray … When change comes too fast or not fast enough for me, I pray I can adjust accordingly to make use of the freedom the Gamblers Anonymous Program offers to me. I pray for the guidance of my Higher Power when change presents itself - or when it doesn't and I wish it would. May I listen for direction from that Power. Today I Will Remember … God is in charge. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

During our days of active addiction, many of us displayed almost dazzlingly fertile powers of imagination. In no time at all, we could dream up more reasons or excuses for pursuing our addiction than most people use for all other purposes in their entire lives. When we first come to Gamblers Anonymous, our once-imaginative minds seem to become lethargic and even numb. "Now what do I do?" many of us wonder. Gradually, however, the lethargy disappears. We begin to apply our practiced imaginations to new, healthy challenges. We become turned on to life in ways that we never dreamed possible. Am I finding that I can now enjoy activities that I wouldn't even consider in the old days? Today I Pray … May God give me a new surge of energy directed toward "turning on to life" rather than making excuses for not handling my responsibilities. May my Higher Power allow my out-of-order imagination to be restored not to the buzzing overactivity and excuse making of my gambling days, but to a healthy openness to life's boundless possibilities. Today I Will Remember … Turn on to life. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Fear may have originally brought some of us to Gamblers Anonymous. In the beginning, fear alone may help some of us stay away from the game and that insidious about-to-be-lucky feeling (even when we knew that gambling always turned against us in the end). But a fearful state is hardly conducive to comfort and happiness - not for long. We have to find alternatives to fear to get us through those first empty hours, days, or even weeks. For most of us, the answer has been to become active in and around the GA Program. In no time, we feel that we truly belong; for the first time in a long time, we begin to feel a "part of" rather than "apart from." Am I willing to take the initiative? Today I Pray … May God please help me find alternatives to fear-that watchdog of my earliest abstinence. I thank my Higher Power for directing me to a place where I can meet others who have experienced the same compulsions and fears. I am grateful for my feeling of belonging. Today I Will Remember … I am "a part of," not "apart from." A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

I've learned in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that the trick, for me, is not stopping gambling, but staying stopped and learning how not to start again. God knows, I tried to stop plenty of times, by lecturing myself on how it was affecting not only my life, but all aspects of my behavior. Gambling was actually changing who I seemed to be. To stay stopped, I've had to develop a positive, ongoing program of action. I've had to learn to live free from addiction, cultivating new patterns, new interests, and new attitudes. Am I remaining flexible in my new life? Am I exercising my freedom to abandon limited objectives? Today I Pray … I pray that my new life will be filled with new patterns, new friends, new activities, new ways of looking at things. I need God's help to overhaul my lifestyle to include all the newness it must hold. I also need a few ideas of my own. May my independence from compulsive gambling help me make my choices with an open mind and a clear, appraising eye. Today I Will Remember ... Stopping is starting. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Once we surrendered and came to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, many of us wondered what we would do with all that time on our hands. All the hours we'd previously spent planning, hiding, alibiing, losing our shirts, borrowing, juggling accounts and all the rest-threatened to turn into empty chunks of time that somehow had to be filled. We needed new ways to use the energy previously absorbed by our addiction. We soon realized that substituting a new and different activity is far easier than just stopping the old activity and putting nothing in its place. Am I redirecting my mind and energy? Today I Pray … I pray that, once free of the encumbrance of my addiction, I may turn to my Higher Power to discover for me how to fill my time constructively and creatively. May that same Power that makes human paths cross and links certain people to specific situations, lead me along good new roads into good new places. Today I Will Remember … Happenstance may be more than chance. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Almost daily, I hear of seemingly mysterious coincidences in the lives of my friends in Gamblers Anonymous. From time to time, I've experienced such "coincidences" myself: showing up at the right place at exactly the right time; phoning a friend who, unbeknownst to me, desperately needed that particular phone call at that precise moment; hearing "my story" at an unfamiliar meeting in a strange town. These days, I choose to believe that many of life's so-called "coincidences" are actually small miracles of God, who prefers to remain anonymous. Am I continually grateful for the miracle of my recovery? Today I Pray … May my awareness of a Higher Power working in our lives grow in sensitivity as I learn, each day, of "coincidences" that defy statistics, illnesses that reverse their prognoses, hairbreadth escapes that defy death, chance meetings that change the course of a life. When the nonunderstandable happens, may I perceive it as just another of God's frequent miracles. My own death-defying miracle is witness enough for me. Today I Will Remember … My life is a miracle. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Little by little, I'm getting over my tendency to procrastinate. I always used to put things off till tomorrow, and, of course, they never got done. Instead of "Do it now," my motto was "Tomorrow's another day." When I was in action, I had grandiose plans; when I came down from my high, I was too busy getting over my depression to start anything. I've learned in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that it's far better to make a mistake once in a while than to never do anything at all. Am I learning to "do it now"? Today I Pray … May God help me cure my habitual tardiness and "get me to the church on time." May I free myself of the self-imposed chaos of lifelong procrastination: library books overdue, appointments half missed, assignments turned in late, schedules unmet, meals half-cooked. May I be sure if I, as a compulsive gambler, led a disordered life, I, as a recovering compulsive gambler, need order. May God give me the serenity I need to restore order and organization to my daily living. Today I Will Remember … I will not be put off by my tendency to put off. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

How many of us would presume to announce, "Well, I'm on my way to way licking the gambling habit. What more can I want, or do? I'm fine just the I am." Experience has taught us that the price of such smug complacency - or, more politely, self-satisfaction - is an inevitable backslide, punctuated sooner or later by a very rude awakening. We have to grow, or else we deteriorate. For us, the status quo can only be for today, never for tomorrow. Change we must; we can't stand still. Am I sometimes tempted to rest on my laurels? Today I Pray … May I look around me and see that all living things are either growing or deteriorating; nothing that is alive is static. Life flows on. May I be carried along on that life-flow, unafraid of change, disengaging myself from the snags along the way that hold me back and interrupt my progress. Today I Will Remember … Living is changing. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

If ever I come to the complacent conclusion that I don't need the Gamblers Anonymous Program any longer, let me quickly remind myself that it can do far more than carry me through the anguish of living in the bondage of addiction. Let me further remind myself that I can make even greater strides in fulfilling myself, for the Program and the Twelve Steps is a philosophy — a way of life. Will I ever outgrow my need for the GA Program? Today I Pray … May my Higher Power lead me through the Twelve Steps, not just once, but again and again, until they become the guiding principles of my existence. This is no quickie seminar on improving the quality of my life; this is my life, restored to me through Divine Power and the friendship of my fellow gamblers, who, like me, are recovering in the best known way. Today I Will Remember … Step by Step, from bondage to abundant life. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

The primary purpose of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is freedom from compulsive gambling; without that freedom we have nothing. But that doesn't mean I can say, for example, "Compulsive gambling is my only concern. Except for that, I'm really a super person, so give me freedom from gambling, and I've got it made." If I delude myself with such specious nonsense, I'll make so little progress with my real life problems and responsibilities that I'll likely return to my addiction. That's why the Program's Twelfth Step urges us to "practice these principles in all our affairs." Am I living just to be free of the compulsion to gamble, or also to learn, to serve, and to love? Today I Pray … May I relish and be grateful for my abstinence, which is where all good things begin. But let me not stop at that and give up trying to understand myself, the nature of God and of humanity. Freedom from addiction is the first freedom. May I be certain that there are more to come-freedom from tight-mindedness, from the unrest of bottled-up feelings, from overdependence on others, from a Godless existence. May the Program which answered my acute needs also answer my chronic ones. Today I Will Remember … Liberation from gambling is just a beginning. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Complacency is my enemy, easy to recognize in others, but difficult to identify and accept in myself. Complacency simply means being sure we're right - taking it for granted that we couldn't possibly be wrong. It means, moreover, judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and seems to justify qualities in ourselves that we'd find wholly intolerable in others. Do I tend to assume that my views are always correct? Today I Pray … God, please steer me past complacency, that state of being on dead center. When I am smug, I am no longer a seeker. If I assume I am always right, I am never on guard for my own mistakes, which can run away with me. Keep me teachable. Keep me growing, in heart, mind, and spirit. Today I Will Remember … Complacency stunts growth. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking at the wrongs we've done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her slightest misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. We have to remember that we're not the only ones plagued by sick emotions. Often, we're really dealing with fellow sufferers, including those whose woes we've increased. If I'm about to ask forgiveness for myself, why shouldn't I forgive the other person too? Today I Pray … When I blame or fault-find, may my Higher Power tell me to look under the rug for my own feeling of guilt, which I have neatly swept under it. May I recognize these behavior clues for what they really are. Today I Will Remember … Resentment, inside-out, is guilt. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

"Direct" is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times, unfortunately, when many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoings of the past. It shows that we're still trying to defend something that isn't worth defending, hanging on to conduct that we ought to abandon. The usual reasons for sidestepping direct amends are pride and fear. As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me? Today I Pray … May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own. But may I avoid making amends purely for my own benefit - to be forgiven, to be reinstated, to flaunt the "new me." Ego-puffing and people-pleasing are not part of the real "new me." God save me from opportunism. Today I Will Remember … No puffery or people-pleasing. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

When we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be absolutely honest. Obviously, though, indiscriminate "absolute honesty" would blow the roof off many a house and entirely destroy some relationships. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we may need to hold something back through discretion and consideration for others. Just when and how we tell the truth-or keep silent-can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all. Am I grateful for the products of truth, which, through the grace of God, I have been privileged to receive? Today I Pray … May I have the wisdom to know the fine line difference between tact and dishonesty. In my eagerness to make restitution, may I not be the charmer, the flatterer, or the crawler who insists, "You're so good, and I'm so bad." All are forms of dishonesty and hark back to the role-playing days of my active gambling addiction. May I recognize them. Today I Will Remember … Tact is honest selectivity. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches us that only one consideration should qualify our desire to completely disclose the damage we've done. And that's where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we're making amends - or, just as important, others close to that person. We can hardly unload a detailed account of extramarital misadventures, for example, on the shoulders of an unsuspecting wife or husband. When we fearlessly make the burdens of others heavier, such actions surely can't lighten our own burden. Sometimes, in that sense, "telling all" may be almost a self-indulgence for us. So in making amends, we should be tactful, sensible, considerate, and humble-without being servile. As a child of God, do I stand on my feet and not crawl before anyone? Today I Pray … May God show me that self-hatred has no role in making amends to others. Neither has the play-acting of self-indulgence. I ask most humbly for my Higher Power's guidance as I strive to maintain a mature balance in interpersonal relations, even in the most casual or fragile ones. Today I Will Remember … Making amends is mending. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

I believe today that I have a right to make spiritual progress. I have a right to be emotionally mature. I have a right to take pleasure in my own company, and that makes me more pleasant to be with. I also have a right to become willing - deeply willing, entirely willing to make amends to all those I've harmed. Because I can now accept myself the way I am, I can accept other people the way they are not entirely, but to a much greater degree than in the past. Have I begun to make friends with God, and thus with myself? Today I Pray … May God show me that it's okay to like myself, even while trying to repair old wrongs and rebuild from splinters. May I keep telling myself that I am different now. I have changed. I am a better and wiser and healthier person. I have made some good choices. As this "new person," may I find it easier to make atonements for what happened long ago and in another spiritual place. May those I have wronged also find it easier to accept my amends. Today I Will Remember … It's okay to like myself. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine. A casual apology, on the one hand, will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of attitude, in contrast, can do wonders to make up for past unkindnesses. If I've deprived anyone of any material thing, I'll acknowledge the debt and pay it as soon as I'm able. Will I swallow my pride and make the first overtures toward reconciliation? Today I Pray … God, show me the best ways to make "direct amends." Sometimes simply admitting my mistakes may make it up to someone and unload my own simmering guilt. Other times restitution may take some creative thought. May I be wholly aware that I cannot take this Ninth Step unless I develop some caring, some real concern about how others feel, along with changes in my behavior. Today I Will Remember … First I care, then I apologize. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

The Ninth Step of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." To make restitution for the wrongs we've done can be extremely difficult, to say the least; if nothing else, it deflates our egos and batters our pride. Yet that in itself is a reward, and such restitution can bring still greater rewards. When we go to a person and say we're sorry, the reaction is almost invariably positive. Courage is required, to be sure, but the results more than justify the action. Have I done my best to make all the restitution possible? Today I Pray … May I count on my Higher Power to stop me if I start to crawl out from under my Ninth Step responsibility. May I feel that blessed, liberating wash of relief that goes with saying, out loud, to someone I have harmed, "I was wrong. I made mistakes. I am honestly sorry." May I not worry about cracking that brittle, cover-up crust of my ego, because the inside will be more mature. Today I Will Remember … Restitution is blessed. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Learning how to live in peace and partnership with all men and women-is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each of us in Gamblers Anonymous has found that we're not able to make much headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to make an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreck age we've left in our wake. Have I made a list of persons I have harmed, as Step Eight suggests, and become willing to make amends to them all? Today I Pray … May God give me the honesty I need, not only to look inside myself and discover what is really there, but to see the ways that my sick and irresponsible behavior has affected those around me. May I understand that my addiction is not - as I used to think - a loner's disease, that, no matter how alone I felt, my lies and fabrications spread out around me in widening circles of hurt. Today I Will Remember … Lies spread to infinity. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Somewhere along the line, as we become more involved in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth - value of honesty and candor. When this happens, one of the first things we're able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we can make this admission - without shame or embarrassment - we find still another dimension of freedom. In my gradual recovery, am I expectant that life will become ever richer and ever more serene? Today I Pray … May I know, even as I take that mighty First Step, which may be the first really honest move I have made in a long time, that honesty takes practice. My old, deluded, head-tripping self is as different from the honest self that I must become as night is from day. May I realize that it will take more than just one grey dawn to change me. Today I Will Remember … Honesty takes practice. Available here → A Day at a Time Gamblers Anonymous and https://www.hazelden.org/store/item/329?A-Day-at-A-Time-Gamblers-Anonymous-Hardcover

I don't believe that the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the Twelve Steps work because I read it in a book, or because I hear other people say so. I believe it because I see other people recovering and because I know that I, too, am recovering. No longer do I believe that I am "helpless and hopeless." When I see the change in other people and in myself, I know that the Program works. When a television reporter once asked the philosopher Jung if he believed in God, Jung replied slowly, "I don't believe. I know." Do I know that the Program works? Today I Pray … Show me the happy endings, the mended lives, the reconstituted selves, the rebuilt bridges, so I will not have to accept on faith the fact that the Program works. May I see it working for others and for me. May I be grateful for the documented reality of the Program's success. May this certainty help me find the faith I need to follow the Twelve Steps. Today I Will Remember … The Gamblers Anonymous Program works. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the ravages of guilt. During the early days in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, I either misunderstood certain of the Steps, or tried to apply them too quickly and too eagerly. The result was that I increased my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself as the Steps intend. Soon, though, I became at least willing to forgive myself, and I made a new beginning. I undertook all the soul searching and cleansing Steps in our Program as they were intended to be taken, and not from a below-ground position of crippling hate and guilt. Have I made amends to myself? Today I Pray … May I forgive myself, as God has forgiven me. May I know that if I am hanging on to an old satchel full of guilt, then I am not following the example God has shown me. If my Higher Power, who has demonstrated forgiveness by leading me to this healing place, can forgive me, then so can I. May I not begrudge myself what God has so generously offered. Today I Will Remember … God forgives. So must I. Available here → A Day at a Time Gamblers Anonymous and https://www.hazelden.org/store/item/329?A-Day-at-A-Time-Gamblers-Anonymous-Hardcover

Guilt is a cunning weapon in the armory of the compulsive gambler. We can use the weapon against ourselves in many subtle ways; it can be deftly wielded, for example, in an attempt to convince us that the Gamblers Anonymous Program doesn't really work. I have to protect myself constantly against guilt and self-accusations concerning my past. If necessary, I must constantly "re-forgive" myself, accepting myself as a mixture of good as well as bad. Am I striving for spiritual progress? Or will I settle for nothing less than the human impossibility of spiritual perfection? Today I Pray … May I look inside myself now and then for any slow-burning, leftover guilt that can, when I'm unwary, damage my purpose. May I stop kicking myself and pointing out my own imperfections - all those lesser qualities which detract from the ideal and "perfect" me. May I no longer try to be unreachably, inhumanly perfect, but just spiritually whole. Today I Will Remember … I am human - part good, part not-so-good. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

When I least expect it, my keen addictive mind will try to divert me back toward my old ideas and old ways. My mind is expert, in fact, at planting and nourishing negative feelings within me-feelings such as envy, fear, anxiety, or guilt. The minute I spot any of these poisonous feelings rising up, I have to deal with them. If not, the more I think about them, the stronger they'll get; the stronger they get, the more I'll think about them-to the point of obsession. When negative feelings arise, do I "name them, claim them, and dump them"? Today I Pray …I should know-and may I never forget that a sure way to let my feelings get the best of me is to pretend they aren't there. Like spoiled offspring, they act up when they are ignored. But also like offspring, they are here, they are mine, and I am responsible for them. May I learn to pay attention to my feelings, even if sometimes I would rather make believe they didn't belong to me. Today I Will Remember … Name them, claim them, dump them. A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠

Some of us, new in Gamblers Anonymous, couldn't resist telling anyone who would listen just how "terrible" we were. Just as we often exaggerated our modest accomplishments by pride, so we exaggerated our defects through guilt. Racing about and "confessing all," we somehow considered the widespread exposure of our sins to be true humility, considering it a great spiritual asset. Only as we grew in the Program did we realize that our theatrics and storytelling were merely forms of exhibitionism. And with that realization came the beginning of a certain amount of humility, mert Am I starting to become aware that I'm not so important, after all? Today I Pray … May I learn that there is a chasm of difference between real humility and the dramatic self-put-down. May I be confronted if I unconsciously demand center-stage to out do and out-risk others with my gambling stories. May I be cautious that the accounts of my addictive misdeeds do not take on the epic grandeur of heroic exploits. May I avoid the bordering on prideful "game-ologue." Today I Will Remember … I will not star in my own "game-ologue." A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠ G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠