PODCAST · fiction
Action Science Theatre
by Dan Bond
Action Science Theatre is a podcast in the style of a radio play, that mixes action, science, comedy and silly voices to create a welcome distraction from real life for 20 minutes or so.It is unquestionably the finest free online audio drama you can get without trying any others.
Episodes
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Aiming at the Shrew
The Natural History Museum – a fine institution full of dusty, dead things. A bit like the House of Lords. Satire. But how do you get into the Museum’s collections? Win a raffle? The X Factor? Who knows? One man who hopes he does is Douglas Smith. Will he get his shrew past the tough entry...
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Rights and Wrongs
Things haven’t always been fair at Christmas. In the old days, before the Snapchat, some people didn’t get everything they wanted. Women. They haven’t always had it easy. But there are some who fight for their rights! And there’s no better time to do it than when the nights draw in and those…
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Gibbon Half a Chance
Ooh be do. I want to be like you. I want to walk like you, talk like you. Ooooh. Modelling yourself after successful people can have ups and downs. For every “being open to new ideas” there’s a “wake every morning at 4am”. If only King Louie understood that. Of course this is unrelated to our…
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Breaking the Mould
Aaaaaaaachoo! Oof. Sorry about that. I really must stop rubbing my face with things I’m allergic to. Like cats. Of course scientists are doing their best to cure us of diseases – and to do this they like to stick things in our crevices. Get ready for international travel! Animals! And lots of hot...
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Not Very PC
The 1980s. Cool music, solid haircuts, adventurous films and neoliberalism. Everything a decade should be. And it was when the big, successful computer companies started their rise. And not only the successful ones. Join us to for a story of the also-rans. The followers. The failures. The Great...
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Bullet Time
Guns. Dangerous things. Well, one end is. Really as long as you’re not standing in front of the little bit on the front you’ll be okay. They never point that out in gun statistics do they? What about all the people who were BEHIND the gun? Having established that guns are safe, let’s use one to...
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Frank and Shine
Scientists. What are they like, eh? Not content with filling the world with “facts” and “ideas” they’re also very fond of weird experiments. One minute you’re waiting for the 49 bus, the next you’re being attacked by a murderous fog that’s escaped from a laboratory. They also like removing and...
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The Shamhattan Project
BOOM! I love mushrooms. They’re a tasty and healthy alternative to meat. And they’re great fried in butter, like so many things in life. But what about mushroom clouds? They don’t taste so good in garlic and breadcrumbs. How about an adventure about them though? That’s something you’d like isn’t...
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Crimea River
Pie charts. Not as fattening as the name suggests. They’ve been miscommunicating information for a long time now, and baffling people with their unnecessary 3D effects. Of course the reason we have them at all is down to the ‘lady with the lamp’. She was always working in the dark which explains...
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Mystery Cubed
Wait, 2 counter-clockwise turns off the upper-level should… No… 3 clockwise rotations of the left-most sector will… No. We all hate Rubik’s cubes. Hate them completely and utterly. More than life itself. But there are some total weirdos who do like them. Join some of these fine people as they...
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Gone to Seed
Have you ever had one of those friends? You know the type, will get you into trouble and then disappear when the going gets tough. Irish. Co-writer of the podcast you make. Named Brian. I think I may be giving you too much of a peek behind the curtains… There hasn’t been enough Scandinavia in AST...
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A Right Hook from the Back Office
I bet you love all those expensive comic book super hero films, don’t you? I can tell by the pyjamas your you’re wearing. Well, have you ever wondered what it’s like for the people who help them? You can’t run a crime-fighting enterprise without back room staff. Join us for the tale of some of...
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The Marshun
Space. A big, empty void full of nothing. That’s what the AST writers have to contend with every month. So, the easiest thing is to take someone else’s idea. PARODY! We’ve been here before with this fella, but this time he’s getting left on Mars. It’s just like a certain big budget blockbuster…
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A Point-Mass Carol
Woooooaaaahhhhh! Wooooooaaaaaahhhhh! Scared? Enough to make you rethink your life choices and embrace the Christmas spirit? Of course. That’s how it always works. We have gone totally Christmas Carol crazy in this episode. Get ready for mistletoe, mulled wine, carol singers and our old friend Sir...
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Radio Blah Blah
Travelling around the country is fun. And you can increase the fun by searching the airwaves to find local radio stations to listen to. The playlists, attitudes, and opinions have remained remarkably stable over the past 30 years. And that’s exactly what we all need more of in our lives. One such...
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Dolly Mixture
Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, and due to the fact I’ve been cloned it’s very similar to the wool you already have. Ah, I love a classic nursery rhyme. Get ready for this, as there’s a lot of skulking and flashbacks. Make a good 70’s cop duo wouldn’t they? Skulking and...
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Uncivil Engineering
Nemesesises’s. We all have one. Whether it’s the newsreader who always seems to be giving all the bad news DIRECTLY TO YOU, or the man whose evil plans you keep thwarting. Or that guy who’s sleeping with your girl / boyfriend. Yep. Now you know. We’ve all known for ages. Stop whatever it is…
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Broom Raider
Bah bah bah bah! Bah bah bah! Bah bah bah bah! Bah bah bah bah bah! You recognise it don’t you? Don’t you? Come on. No it’s not that one. The other one. The one with the guy in the hat. No I can’t just tell you in case the lawyers are reading. You’ll figure it out. Join us Actioneers, as we…
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Danse Danse Macabre
They can’t get rid of me, you know. Do you know why? Because I know where the bodies are buried. The sweet, valuable bodies. That’s right, AST is going all dark and deathy. The best way to listen to this episode is to turn off the lights and close your eyes. Unless you’re in a car. Come with us…
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Gravitational Push
How does one make oneself a success? Is it by finding something one enjoys and making that a profession? Or by pursuing a successful profession that already exists? Frankly, we don’t know or care. We have other things to worry about. I mean, there’s another royal baby for Queen’s sake. Come now…
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Radio Times
“Satellite, satelliiiite, of looooove…” Lou Reed was, no doubt, thinking about the launch of the first satellite, Sputnik, when he wrote those seminal words in 1972 (he may have written them before 1972 of course, we just can’t say right now, and it’s irrelevant to my point). Of course, not...
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DN-Hey!
If I told you to put some of your bodily fluids in a bag and send it to me, what would you say? You absolute animal. Nowadays you can do this, and some chap or chapette will tell you everything you’ve always wanted to know about your fluid’s history. One man who wants to try it is chunky Patrick....
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It's All Rover
Space exploration. When you think about it, it’s just like darts. Hurling projectiles into the dark depths hoping to get a treble-twenty. You could get glory, or end up drinking in a pub on a Tuesday afternoon while everyone else is at work. Good place to meet NASA scientists. THEY’VE SENT A…
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Lark-eology
The desert. Unchanged for millions of years. Yet witness to a prophecy come true. That one day, people will dig and find stuff. And some of that stuff will be interesting. Get out your shovel, scratch your beard and let’s get digging. Have we found the missing link? Do we need to? Does everything...
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Have Yourself A Crabby Little Christmas Island
What things remind you of Christmas? Holly? Mince pies? Mulled wine? Crabs? Prepare to enter a new era of Christmas where we huddle around the fire and eat crabs and cranberry sauce. Of course, what we’ve done here is played on the fact there is a place called Christmas Island and there are loads...
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Ron-spiracy
Have you been talking about me? You have, haven’t you? Behind my back! To everyone! You’ve been talking about the noise I make when I eat kippers! Never trust anyone. That’s what my financial adviser used to say. Never. Trust. Anyone. It’s easy to see how conspiracy theories take hold. They…
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Much Ado About 4.2 Billion Km
Pluto! Pluto! Here, Pluto! Pluto is a long way away, and is a barren, featureless rock. No wait, that’s Australia (just kidding, kangaroo lovers!). Some people can’t make up their minds about things. Spaciticians can’t make up their minds whether something is a planet, or a speck on their...
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Determined Sex
Sex. It’s everywhere. Whilst you’re reading this there will be several incidents of sex happening nearby. Does that make you feel dirty? Well, let us cleanse you. In an audio sense. Back in the early 1900s, we didn’t really understand what made men and women different. But now we do, and thank...
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A Mean Time with Greenwich
“Excuse me?” “Yes?” “Do you have the time?” “I do. I have it written on my hand. It’s 7.30am.” “Thanks, no, wait. How do you know that’s right?” “I checked it with the speaking clock.” “Ah, excellent. Thanks.” Time is a strange thing isn’t it? I mean, you’ve just spent some of it reading this –…
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Inflated Ego
Pfffff. Pfffff. Pffffff. There we go. I’ve tied 37 balloons to this chair, that should be enough to get me to the moon. Here I go – and release! Oh. Why aren’t I going up? This is awkward. Now I look ridiculous. Oh well, while I untie all these balloons why don’t you settle in and take a listen…
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Wrecklessly Subordinate
Dive! Dive! Dive! Whoah! Exciting huh? Your heart is pounding, adrenalin courses through your veins, and your left eye twitches uncontrollably. Well calm down buddy, you can’t listen to audio drama with all that going on. Have a cup of tea and settle in for this aquatic adventure. Will they find...
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Christmas Crackerz
Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day. It would certainly help the retail industry. Talking of which, this one’s set in a shop. No ordinary shop though, one of those special Christmas shops that spring up everywhere and then disappear again like Shangri la. But better because you can buy...
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Death by Dewey
Libraries are a great place for a snooze. You can stash yourself away in a quiet section (say, computer programming languages, pre-1990) and get yourself a good 20 minutes kip without being disturbed. And you can keep that tip for free. But the life of a librarian isn’t all shushing people and...
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A Waste of Time
“We are pleased to present a guest episode of Action Science Theatre created especially for LabLit.com!” LabLit.com If you could travel back in time and bring anyone back to the modern day, who would it be? Our choice? We’d leave them where they were, but suggest more people wear hats. Very tall...
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The Man with the Golden Game
Na na na na na, na na na… WAIT! They have trigger-happy lawyers. Stop that. So this episode is about a spy. A spy who likes girls and drinking. But isn’t like any other spy character who likes those things. Oh no. It’s really a tribute to… No… No it isn’t a tribute to anything. Nothing to see…
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Green Man Cross Code LIVE!
Somewhere, in a field in Wales… Some Nobel-prize-winning scientists have arrived at a science conference to share their knowledge. But it isn’t a conference. It’s a festival. With dirty people and music. And what’s more, they’ve lost their Nobel prizes. Which goes to show anyone can disappoint…
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Space Stationary
In space, no one can hear ice cream. But then no one can hear it on Earth either. Unless it’s being fed to a noisy child. So, I bet you were all wondering the same thing we were: what if Commander Hadfield had been, rather than a lovely man, a bit of a dick? Well, now’s your chance to find out....
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Name Calling
Do you know what you are? Do you? Do you really? Do you want me to tell you? Right now? To your face? You… You… YOU… Are an AST listener! Well done. Wise choice. The Internabbly Pobbly of Zoomebumly Nomenclammy-wammy (or something, you’ll have to listen to someone competent saying it) sounds like…
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Jimmy Calendrics
All together now… “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday AST, happy birthday to you!” Well done, excellent work. A particularly good range of tenors amongst you. AST is 1 year old! (Okay, not quite. Obviously we didn’t start with an episode zero though. Shut it maths…
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Ice, Ice Maybe
We know 3 facts about the Antarctic: It’s cold They have penguins Penguins tend to poop everywhere Into this icy, poop-covered wasteland comes Bill Chesham – a man seeking quiet isolation. Instead, he’s in for the adventure of a lifetime. Will Bill find out what the clanging sound is? Who solved...
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War of the Cotswolds
Anyone who knows the AST crew personally may have noticed a cock-sure swagger that they seem to conduct themselves with these days. It’s the confidence that only comes from doing almost a year of audio drama podcasts. Recently we decided to harness this power and put it to work. So we entered a...
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Voyage of the Hammed
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! There are no pirates in this episode. Let’s get that out of the way first up. What have pirates ever done for science? Other than contributions to cartography, and encouraging people to bury important things. It took ages to find Newton’s Principia I understand. Join...
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The Weighting Game
How much does a kilogram of feathers weigh? Did you say 1 kilogram? If you didn’t, you may need some help using that electronic device you’re reading this on. Sneaky people are after it. Not the feathers, the kilogram. The original. Which is in a vault in France for safe keeping. And these are no...
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The Time Artist
What? What do you mean there’s no such thing as time travel? Sorry? No, you’re breaking up. Can’t hear a word. Join us, Actioneers, for another slice of adventure beyond the lens of the microscope. Steve and Patrick are friends that work in an office. Much like most of you are. But they’re about…
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They do it with Magnets
How do you confuse Prof Brian Cox? Put him in the Large Hadron Collider and tell him to stand in the corner. Sal is a gumshoe. That means everyone wants to slap him. His old flame Mabel needs some help, there’s been a murder at the LHC. Will Sal solve the case? Will they find any Bosons at all?...
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How Science Saved Christmas
Jingle bells, science smells, dum dum dum der der… Science and Christmas, natural enemies right? Wrong. There was a time when science saved Christmas. And this is that story. Join Wolf Bilkington and Kipp Faero as they journey across the North Pole, and have a very surprising encounter. Will…
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Solvay-nt Abuse
In 1911 a crack team of physicists from around the world assembled in the unheard-of town of Brussels in darkest Belgium. This was the first Solvay conference. Among these know-it-alls were little-known scienticians Albert Einstein and Marie Curie (aglow with her success). This much Wikipedia…
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Science Shoot-off LIVE!
Some people seek truth, some seek justice, others seek the adulation of others to feed their egos. One such person has come to the globally recognised phenomenon of Science Showoff, with a presentation to wow the crowd. But two unknown gun-persons have other ideas. Will he survive? Will the cast...
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Brain Training
Michael and Evan are doctors. Not good doctors, but doctors nonetheless. They’re on their way to Edinburgh on the Caledonian Sleeper for a conference, to talk about doctory things, when a mysterious illness breaks out. Will they make it to Edinburgh? Will they ever get to stop running? When will...
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Peril-osaurus
Greg Brown is a paleontologist, a paleontologist who specialises in bar chart colours and theories that upset small children. Join him and his friend Eloise Burke, and Detective Inspector Lynn Weyland-Smith as they try to stop Professor Zorbo and his pet Ninja from making Greg the next species to...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Action Science Theatre is a podcast in the style of a radio play, that mixes action, science, comedy and silly voices to create a welcome distraction from real life for 20 minutes or so.It is unquestionably the finest free online audio drama you can get without trying any others.
HOSTED BY
Dan Bond
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Action Science Theatre have?
Action Science Theatre currently has 52 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Action Science Theatre about?
Action Science Theatre is a podcast in the style of a radio play, that mixes action, science, comedy and silly voices to create a welcome distraction from real life for 20 minutes or so.It is unquestionably the finest free online audio drama you can get without trying any others.
How often does Action Science Theatre release new episodes?
Action Science Theatre has 52 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Action Science Theatre?
You can listen to Action Science Theatre on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Action Science Theatre?
Action Science Theatre is created and hosted by Dan Bond.
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