AF5 Podcast

Y'all know what time it is! It's our favorite time of the month! We garden, we open blind boxes & we read messages from our Lil Ant Army! Criss cross, apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Platonic relationships are almost as important as romantic relationships. This episode includes a special guest and lots of never-before told stories about love, friendship, beans & armpits. Cris cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Everyone wants to go viral on social media until you end up on the wrong side of that platform & the hate rolls in. In this episode we recap our recent viral video, the hate comments that came with it & we give our perspective on all of it. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Our parents had one cure for boredom and it involved a mop. This generation can't sit in silence without feigning for their phones. This week we're getting into what we lost when boredom became impossible & how we can regain it and get back to our creativity! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Having babies, a brag session, finding yourself, realizing there’s a My Little Pony gang & much much more! This week’s episode covers so many thoughts that our followers have sent via DM. Tune in! We just might have read your DM or you may relate to one of our Lil Ant Army’s comments and/or need for advice! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

You asked & we delivered! Y'all loved our gardening & blind box episode last month so much, we've decided to make this a monthly series! In this episode, we celebrate some ant brags, advice & respond to several of your comments. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

You have 47 browser tabs open, 101 saved TikToks from 8 months ago, and absolutely zero idea what you're doing. Sound familiar? This week we're talking about the generation that will Google themselves into a full breakdown before asking a single human being for help — and why that's quietly making everything harder.In this episode:The Google spiral and why more information is making you less confidentWho we actually called when things got hard (and what they told us)Why you need a "board of directors" for your life and how to build one for freeFind us: 📺 YouTube: @af5podcast Leave us a comment — tell us the last thing you Googled that you probably should have just called someone about. We won't judge you. Much. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Imagine having an awful childhood where you grew up poor, had no toys & had. to grow up really fast. Now imagine you find a partner for life who had the same childhood, but in a different font. And imagine that together you start to reclaim your childhood with hobbies & toys that bring you both so much joy! That's what today's episode is all about! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

“Parents just need to be parents & if they deviate from that they are bad role models and inappropriate”… And one thing about us? We are always gonna take dumb, made up “standards” about how parents “should act” to task! And today’s episode is one of those times. We went out & bought a bunch of blind boxes from 5 Below, gardened like a mf & filmed this episode. Criss cross apple sauce (like literally) Fam! It’s garden time!

Big gestures are nice—but real love shows up daily. The people who check in, stay consistent, and ask “did you eat?” are the ones who matter most.In this episode:* How childhood & family dynamics shaped the way we give/receive support* Showing up for our kids through their biggest life moments (new homes, careers, relationships)* Why you should focus on the people who actually show up—and how they do it* Real stories of quiet, meaningful support* Understanding your “support language” so you don’t overlook love* A gut check: are you showing up the same way for others?Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

In this episode, we’re calling out the quiet habits that keep you stuck—feeling behind, overthinking everything, saying yes when you mean no, and avoiding things you might not be good at (yet).We talk about why comparison is louder than ever, how over-editing your life kills confidence, and why boundaries feel uncomfortable—but necessary. Plus, what actually builds real confidence (hint: it’s not affirmations). Criss cross apple sauce, Fam. It's story time!

This episode is a reminder that self-esteem & confidence aren't something you find—they're something you build. Behind the scenes in the quiet moments. In the promises you keep. In the way you speak to yourself when no one else is around.We talk about learning to trust yourself again, softening that inner voice, and building confidence over comparison. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about becoming someone you’re proud to be, one small decision at a time. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time! 

There are so many tips & tricks out there about how to raise kids when they’re little. But no one ever tells us what it’s like when your kids become adults & what that new life chapter entails. No one ever talks about what you’ll struggle with; like letting them make their own mistakes, not being able to protect them from people being mean to them or watching them move far away from you. And no one ever talks about how freakin cool it is either; like gardening with them & going to Disneyland, how they pick up the tabs when you travel; or how when they make great life decisions, you get to celebrate them for kicking ass! Well, we talk about all of this & our experience with our own adult kids and more! So criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

People always ask us "Be honest, which of your 3 kids do you like best?" Welp! In this episode, we finally answer this question....Criss cross apple sauce, Fam. It's story time!

A shared workplace ChatGPT account gets taken over by someone’s explicit AI romance diary. Plus: a PowerPoint roasting someone’s cooking, family theft accusations, and more wild AITA stories! Criss cross Apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time! 

Get the tissues out. This one is gonna be a tear jerker! After watching Famous Last Words featuring Eric Dane, we couldn’t stop thinking about one question: If today were your last day… what would you want your final words to say?This episode isn’t about fear — it’s about focus.We talk about:* Why thinking about the end actually makes life richer* The surprising themes that show up in people’s final reflections* How gratitude changes when you realize time is limited* The small things we complain about that suddenly don’t matterAnd we challenge ourselves (and you) to stop saving appreciation for “someday.” If this episode resonates, share it with someone you’re grateful for & drop a comment:What would your “famous last words” be? Criss cross apple sauce, Fam. It's story time!

In Part 2, we dive into why money feels so emotional in relationships. Most arguments aren’t about the numbers — they’re about security, control, freedom, and feeling valued.We also unpack how comparison in 2026 distorts reality, making normal finances feel like failure.To close, we share a simple reset: define what “enough” means for you, separate facts from fear, and create healthier money conversations — without shame or toxic positivity. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

We think money stress is about numbers.Income. Debt. Budgeting. Inflation.But what if the real tension isn’t about money at all?In this episode, we unpack the emotional side of money — the childhood scripts we inherited, the comparison culture that quietly fuels anxiety, and why financial conversations in relationships feel loaded before they even start.If you’ve ever:Felt behind even though you’re working hardArgued about spending but knew it wasn’t really about the purchaseFelt guilt for resting because “I should be doing more”Tied your self-worth to your productivityThis conversation is for you. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

Why do the smallest things set us off more than the big ones? In this episode, we’re diving into the tiny, everyday behaviors that shouldn’t matter—but somehow absolutely do. This episode is a rapid-fire rant session packed with petty takes, painfully relatable moments, and the kind of low-stakes frustrations that spark way bigger emotions than they deserve. If you’ve ever felt personally attacked by a text, a tone, or a “no worries” that definitely meant worries—this one’s for you.Come laugh, validate your annoyance, and realize you’re not crazy… we’re all just quietly mad about the same small things. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam. It’s story time.

What are the unwritten rules of everyday life that everyone seems to ignore?In this episode, we get into everyday etiquette no one teaches you — the social rules you assume people know… until they absolutely don’t. From speakerphone criminals and elevator chaos to not touching food that isn’t yours (RIP to a stolen breakfast burrito), this episode is equal parts funny, relatable, and mildly unhinged.We share personal stories, petty grievances, and the small social moments that make you question whether etiquette is officially dead.Topics include: • Unwritten social rules everyone breaks • Public behavior that should be illegal (but isn’t) • The missing breakfast burrito incident 🌯 • Why basic manners feel optional now • Pet peeves we didn’t know would turn into rants👇 Sound off in the comments:What’s an everyday etiquette rule you think people ignore the most? Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Same vibe, but PART 2 energy. We get honest about what adulthood actually feels like once the illusion cracks: the constant second-guessing, the pressure to be grateful while still wanting more, and the weird guilt that comes with not loving the life you worked so hard to build. If you’ve ever thought, “Is this it?” while also knowing you should feel lucky… pull up a seat. Criss cross apple sauce, fam. The story continues.

We were told adulthood would look a certain way—stable job, perfect relationships, clear direction. But what if the real problem isn’t adulthood… it’s the unrealistic expectations we inherited?In this episode, we unpack the silent pressure to “have it all together,” why everyone feels behind (even the people who look ahead), and how comparison culture quietly ruins contentment. If you’ve ever wondered why life feels heavier than it should, this conversation might be what you need to feel better! Criss cross Apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time! 

It’s been a while since we’ve done an AITA episode! Laughing at the wrong moment. Saying what everyone’s thinking. Not pretending a joke is funny. This episode dives into AITA stories where no one meant to be cruel — but their reaction changed everything.From laughing at a friend’s childhood bullying, to calling out entitled behavior abroad, to refusing to finish stories after being interrupted, we unpack how honesty, humor, and boundaries can backfire fast. Sometimes you don’t do anything wrong — you just fail to read the room. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam. It’s story time!

This episode breaks down what a friendship breakup really is and why it’s barely talked about — even though it can hurt as much (or more) than a romantic breakup. We normalize outgrowing people in your 20s and 30s and remind you: nothing is “wrong” with you for changing.We dig into: • how growth shifts who you align with • signs you’ve outgrown a friendship • feeling drained, small, or inauthentic after hanging outWe also explore slow fade vs intentional closure, and the unique grief of losing someone who’s still alive…and posting about it. Finally, we talk healing, acceptance, and creating space for friendships that actually fit who you truly are and who you're becoming. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

2025 taught us a lot—but some lessons came with baggage we’re not carrying into the new year. In this episode, we’re calling out the habits, mindsets, and behaviors we’re officially leaving behind in 2025 and sharing the goals we’re locked in on for 2026. If you’re ready to protect your peace, set real boundaries, and show up for your life louder than ever—this one’s for you! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s time to ring in the new year RIGHT!

Ask & you shall receive! You asked about our Christmas traditions & wanted to hear them from Deison & Donnie. So, for our last episode of the year, we sit down with Deison & Donnie Dumps to talk about our favorite Christmas memories—from traditions that stuck, to gifts that shocked them, to the little things that felt huge at the time. We revisit Christmas mornings, family inside jokes that refuse to die, and the unspoken “roles” everyone played once December hit.In this episode:* The first Christmas details our kids still remember* Traditions that made our holidays feel unmistakably ours* The gift they never thought they’d get* What Christmas morning meant then vs. now* The parent moves we didn’t know were working* The moments that became permanent family lore* ...and MORE!If you’re parenting through the holidays—or missing the ones that shaped you—this episode is for you. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

The White Elephant game is not for the weak. We break down what actually makes a good White Elephant game, why feelings always get hurt & secondhand embarrassment ensues, and why once stealing starts, all friendships are temporarily suspended. From unwanted gifts to ruthless steals—yet this holiday Hunger Games somehow remains a tradition we refuse to let go of. Criss cross, apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

In this deeply honest Inbox Episode, we’re diving into our Lil Ant Army real-life stories—the heartbreak, the healing, the hard choices, and the beautiful glow-ups that come after. From grief and going no contact, to walking away from toxic situations, to finally choosing yourself and your dreams… this episode is about reclaiming your power and finding the people who help you rise. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

December tells us we’re supposed to be joyful. Social media is glowing, group chats are full of cheer, and everything feels wrapped in pressure to be merry. But what if your real life doesn’t match the highlight reel?In this episode, we’re talking about the emotional weight of the holidays—the comparison, the grief, the stress, the loneliness, the exhaustion, and the quiet sadness that often gets hidden behind twinkling lights and forced smiles.We dive into:Why there’s so much pressure to pretend everything is joyful in DecemberHow comparison culture hits hardest during the holidaysWhy social media makes it feel like everyone else is doing it “right”What it looks like to give yourself real permission to not be okayWe also share a small, practical way to create comfort this week—without forcing happiness or fake cheer.If your holidays feel heavy, complicated, or emotionally mixed, this episode is for you. Your holiday doesn’t need to be picture-perfect. It just needs to be honest.Final Reminder: Your feelings are not a problem to fix — they’re a story to listen to.

BONUS EPISODE! Y'all! We don't normally do this but we wanted to give you a special surprise because we are so grateful for your love & support! This is Part 2 of Tait's National Bodybuilding Competition. You're getting all the BTS from our weekend in Las Vegas & Tait's pursuit of 1st Place! Cris cross apple sauce, Fam! It's BTS time!

Ever feel like quitting when things get tough? Yeah, same here. Join us this week as we share with you the BTS of Tait's final bodybuilding journey at a national competition. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time.

In this episode, we’re talking about the Comfort Crisis — that modern phenomenon where even the tiniest, dumbest inconvenience feels like a personal attack. It’s holiday season, the country’s a mess, and somehow the thing that destroys us is dead headphones at the gym or when Alexa stops playing your music. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

Y’all asked for more field trips and we delivered! Ever wondered what it looks like behind the scenes at a body building competition? Well, you’re in luck! This episode takes you on a 3-day field trip (aka vlog) leading up to Tait’s body building competition. You’ll experience all the feels: grumpiness, fear, nervousness, tears, gratefulness & elation! This is an emotional roller coaster so criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

Most of us were raised to believe joy is something you earn — after the chores, after the work, after everyone else is happy.In this episode, we unpack the cultural “social script” that wired us for obligation over joy — and how that’s left so many adults walking around on emotional low battery. We’ll talk about why joy feels indulgent, how to rewrite your internal permission slip, and what actually changes when joy stops being a reward and starts being the standard. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

So, you finally decided to go to the gym… but the machines look like medieval torture devices and everyone else seems to know exactly what they’re doing? Yeah, we’ve all been there.In this episode, we’re walking you through the gym basics — no fitness snobbery, no overcomplicated routines. Just the beginner’s playbook for how to lift with confidence, avoid injuries, and actually enjoy getting stronger.We’ll show you how to use the most common upper and lower body machines, give you 3 ab exercises that target your core (not your lower back!), and talk through those mental blocks that keep so many newbies from ever walking through the gym doors. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s time to be a Baddie in the gym!Workout 1: Upper Body w/AbsWarm Up: Treadmill - Elevation 3, Speed 2Chest Press: 3 sets of 8-10Shoulder Press: 3 sets of 8-10Dumbbell Curls: 3 sets of 8-10Abs: 3 sets of 12-15Workout 2: Lower Body w/AbsWarm Up: Bike - Level 2Leg Extension: 3 sets of 8-10Leg Curls: 3 sets of 8-10Hip Press: 3 sets of 8-10Abs: 3 sets of 12-15

Remember when people bragged about burnout like it was a badge of honor? Yeah… turns out no one’s impressed anymore. We unpack how the internet’s favorite personality trait — being busy — got a reality check and we share our embarrassing "hustle hard" moments so you can learn from our mistakes. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

DJing, photography, notary work, biking, scrapbooking — our résumés are stacked with temporary obsessions. This episode is a roast and a requiem for all the hobbies that started strong and ended in dust. But even when you go all-in, the spark doesn’t always last. We talk about the high of the hustle, the quiet of the burnout, and the funny ways we keep trying to reinvent ourselves anyway. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

You ever get so mad you try to prove a point that no one’s watching and then instantly regret it? In this episode, we share some of our most famous arguments we’ve never shared publicly & how we argued ourselves into cardio, starvation & humiliation. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

Small Crimes, Tall Tales. Whether it’s stacking carts, dialing fake wake-up calls, or forcing dad into church duty, these stories remind us: petty is powerful! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Not all revenge needs fireworks. Sometimes it’s just moving a weight plate, hiding a fridge drawer, or having a potato wedge showdown — and that’s exactly why it’s so good. In this episode, we dive into five hilariously satisfying tales of petty revenge: The Gym Hoarder — One guy thinks he owns all the 5lb plates. Spoiler: he doesn’t.Fridge Delivery Fee — A shady delivery man learns what it feels like to pay hidden charges.Potato Wedge Showdown — When line-cutters meet someone with both patience and cash to spare. Office Karen — The woman who policed everyone’s printing habits… until the Head of IT checked her search history.Graveyard Spite — A family makes sure mom’s reputation doesn’t outlive her.Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's about to get petty up in here!

Want to stop overthinking every text, caring what people think, or replaying that embarrassing moment from 2016? In this episode, we share 10 simple confidence hacks anyone can try today.From crazy socks to the 5-year rule, these tiny shifts add up to big confidence gains — without the cheesy self-help vibes.👉 Learn how to:Stop people-pleasing (without being a jerk)Care less about judgmentBuild self-esteem with small daily habits🎧 Listen now and start feeling more confident in everyday life.

If you’ve ever bought a fancy planner only to abandon it in a drawer by February, this one’s for you. We’re talking about why routines fail (hint: it’s not because you’re lazy), the myth of motivation, and how to actually build habits that don’t collapse the moment life gets busy. Expect funny personal fails + practical hacks that make sticking to routines way less intimidating! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

That song you always pick for karaoke? It’s saying more about you than you think! Your go-to track is a shortcut to how you process heartbreak, handle attention, and whether you secretly love or hate the spotlight. We get into why some people belt ballads like confessions, why others hide behind crowd-pleasers, and how your pick can reveal if you’re the main character… or just vibing in the background. Criss cross applesauce, Fam! It’s story time!

We’ve all had a little hater energy—but how do you stop scrolling, comparing, and secretly side-eyeing everyone else’s wins? In this episode, we share real ways on how to stop being a hater: self-awareness, celebrating others, focusing on your own goals, and shifting into gratitude. If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Why them and not me?”—this one’s for you! Because it’s not about pretending you’ve never been a hater (we all have), it’s about learning how to stop being one—without losing your edge!

Why do people hate on others for no reason? It's not always jealousy...sometimes it's insecurity, boredom, or just straight-up projection. In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind haters, roast our own hater moments and share tips on how to chill out & mind your damn business. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

You know those moments that happened years ago but your brain still likes to bring them up uninvited—usually at 2 a.m. when you’re trying to sleep? Yeah… we’ve got more of them directly from our fans! In this Part 2, we’re digging up the most painfully awkward, socially catastrophic, “please let the earth swallow me whole” stories from our past. If you thought Part 1 was bad, this one will make you grateful you weren’t there… and also kind of wish you were. Lol! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It's story time!

Dodgeball, Rejection & Pooping in Public. You haven’t lived until you’ve been emotionally wounded by a 10-year-old boy in front of your entire class after nailing him in the face with a dodgeball. Or until you’ve fallen in front of a moving car, pretended you were fine, and limped 8 blocks like you weren’t just destroyed physically and emotionally. This episode is a no-filter roller coaster ride through our most embarrassing memories that live rent free in our heads forever! Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

We’re talking designated bed zones, brownie justice, and the emotional damage of someone watching your show without you. It’s all fun and games until someone grabs the edge brownie and shuffles the playlist mid-song. Listen in as we name, rank, and defend our most harmless (but entirely serious) hills to die on. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

Vacation, but make it dysfunctional! Today’s stories include: a grandma who unintentionally starts a turf war, a surprise third wheel to Bali, and one couple trying to keep their romantic getaway mom-free. We also weigh in on the sacredness of snack rations and whether RSVP deadlines apply to family members who think they’re above the law. Criss cross apple sauce, Fam! It’s story time!

In this episode we unpack the mental gymnastics of (mostly) men who mysteriously lose all motor function when asked to literally anything. This episode is a masterclass in baffling, frustrating, and sometimes hilarious stories of grown folk who weaponize incompetence like its a second language. Featuring bonus content: the ex who claimed "I can't do the laundry. I'm left-handed & the washer is on the wrong side of the dryer." Ummm, SIR??? Criss cross apple sauce, Fam. It's story time!