All of You
by allofyoupodcast
Welcome to the All of You Podcast with Dave and Shiv Martinell! A few years and one too many fights ago, our relationship led us on personal journeys toward self awareness, healing, and personal growth. We started to see that the more we healed, the better we started showing up not just in our relationship, but in the workplace, in our friendships, with our daughters, and most importantly for ourselves. Our hope is that in sharing our own raw and vulnerable truths, others will be inspired, feel seen, and will want to pursue growth and healing in their own lives. We’re driven by the belief that as each person heals, the collective heals and that’s how we make this world a more beautiful and loving place.Ready to do the work and go deeper in your own healing with a certified coach? Book a consultation call with us:Dave: https://calendly.com/dlmartinell/30minShiv: https://calendly.com/siobhanmartinell/30min
Episodes
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Ep.131 Everything adds up to chemistry
Chemistry isn't just something that happens between two people. It's built through the little moments, interactions and experiences that shape how we see and feel about each other. In this episode, we explore what creates chemistry, why it can fade over time, and how the everyday dynamics of a...
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Ep.130 The work is never just about you
The work you do on yourself doesn’t just change you. It changes your relationship, too. In this episode, we explore how our own healing impacts the person we love, what it looks like to work through things in real time, and how Dave is navigating some of his own challenges in this very...
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Ep.129 Do you feel worthy?
In this episode, we explore worthiness and how the question of whether we deserve the good things in our lives can show up in unexpected ways. From the things we have to the love we receive, we look at where our beliefs about our worth come from, how they follow us into adulthood and our...
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Ep.128 The hidden cost of not being present
We live in a world that rewards doing, and it can be hard to slow down long enough to simply be. Between the to-do lists, responsibilities, and constant distractions, being fully present can feel harder than ever. But what are we missing when we're always focused on what's next instead of what's...
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Ep.127 Becoming self aware is hard
We all have subconscious patterns that shape the way we think, feel, and show up in our relationships. The tricky part is that you can’t change what you’re not conscious of, and staying conscious of ourselves in every moment is nearly impossible. In this episode, we talk about the messy, ongoing...
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Ep.126 Why we get harsh with the ones we love
Inspired by Terry Real’s quote, “there is nothing that harshness does that loving firmness doesn’t do better,” in this episode we’re taking a closer look at why we can get so harsh with the people we love. Where does it come from, and why does it seem to come out most when we really want to be...
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Ep.125 Is the work actually working?
How do you know if the work you’ve been doing is actually working? Healing isn’t always about feeling better or never getting triggered again. Sometimes the real results show up in how you respond, how you move through discomfort, and how you relate to yourself and others. In this episode, we…
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Ep.124 How Important Is Spiritual Alignment?
What does it really mean to be spiritually aligned? And how important is it to share that alignment with your partner? Spirituality can shape the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and the decisions we make, but being aligned doesn’t necessarily mean believing or doing everything the same...
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Ep.123 When doubt creeps into the relationship
Doubt is bound to creep into every relationship at some point. Sometimes it’s an important signal that something needs our attention, and other times it’s our fear, uncertainty, or old wounds taking the wheel. The challenge is learning the difference. In this episode, we’re talking about what...
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Ep.122 What social media is doing to your relationship
Social media has become such a normal part of our lives that it’s easy to forget how much it can shape the way we see ourselves, our partners, and our relationships. From comparison and jealousy, to how much we scroll, to the stories we create based on what we see online, it can have a bigger...
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Ep.121 Dealing with uncertainty
Uncertainty is a part of life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to sit with. In this episode, we’re talking about the uncertainty that shows up in relationships, career, and life and what happens when our nervous system doesn’t know how to handle the unknown. We explore how uncertainty can live in...
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Ep.120 How to know when to commit
How do you know when it’s time to truly commit? In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to trust yourself enough to know that no matter what happens, you’ll be okay and how that changes the way you choose a partner and a relationship. We talk about being aligned in your values and what...
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Ep.119 When connection feels hard
Sometimes in relationships, we’re simply not connected. And while disconnection is inevitable, what matters most is what we do with it. In this episode, we talk about why learning to be okay with moments of disconnection and resisting the urge to make them worse can actually be the key to finding...
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Ep.118 Human doing or human being?
Have you ever felt like you've become one with your to-do list? In this episode, Shiv shares her own experience of realizing she'd slipped into constant "doing" mode, living in a state of stress instead of being present. We explore why this happens, how it impacts our ability to connect with the...
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Ep.117 The pressure we put on our partners
We all have needs in our relationships, but what happens when we start expecting our partner to meet all of them? In this episode, we unpack the pressure we can unknowingly place on the person we love, why it happens, and how it can create resentment, disconnection, and impossible expectations.…
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Ep.116 The importance of how you view yourself
How you see yourself shapes every part of your life and relationships, but what if that view isn't actually accurate? In this episode, we explore where self-perception comes from, why so many of us struggle to see ourselves clearly, and how our past experiences can distort the way we view who we...
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Ep.115 We're not okay and that's okay - living in a season of grief
In this deeply personal episode, we share about the recent loss of our brother-in-law after his battle with cancer and reflect on what grief has taught us—not just through this loss, but through many others we've experienced. We talk about what it means to live in a season of grief, how to…
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Ep.114 What is right and wrong in relationships
In relationships, we often spend so much energy trying to prove who's right and who's wrong. But what if that's the wrong question altogether? In this episode, we explore why healthy relationships aren't built by convincing your partner to see things your way. They're built by two people working...
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Ep.113 Why growth is more about letting go than leveling up
We live in a world obsessed with self-improvement and optimization, but growth isn't always about adding more. Sometimes the most meaningful transformation comes from letting go of the beliefs, patterns, and survival strategies that no longer serve us. In this episode, we explore why healing is...
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Ep.112 Why understanding emotional bandwidth matters
In this episode, we explore the role emotional bandwidth plays in healthy relationships and why timing can matter just as much as communication. We talk about the importance of checking in with your partner before diving into difficult conversations and recognizing that everyone's emotional,...
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Ep.111 When to walk away
Relationships aren’t meant to stay the same forever and sometimes that leaves us wondering whether we’re being called to lean in, set stronger boundaries, or walk away. In this episode, we explore the difficult questions that arise when relationships change, needs evolve, and growth takes people…
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Ep.110 Doing the work, but still struggling in relationship
Healing isn't a straight line. Sometimes growth looks like moving forward, and sometimes it looks like finding yourself back in an old pattern you thought you'd already worked through. In this episode, we're talking about what happens when healing feels messy, why regression is a normal part of...
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Ep.109 The art of hard conversations
Communication is one of the biggest things that can either build connection or slowly break it down in relationships. In this episode, Shiv and Dave have an honest conversation about what actually makes communication healthy, why so many of us struggle to express what we feel, and how…
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Ep.108 What good communication actually looks like
Hard conversations can either create deeper connection or deeper distance and most of us were never actually taught how to have them well. In this episode, we talk about the patterns that quietly sabotage connection during conflict and share practical tools we personally use to navigate difficult...
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Ep.107 What makes a good man and are there any out there?
When Shiv’s hot take from a previous episode sparked a bigger conversation, we knew we had to go there. In this honest and unfiltered episode, Shiv and Dave dive into the question so many women quietly (or loudly) ask… are there actually good men out there? Together, they unpack the beliefs,...
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Ep.106 Why we broke up and why we tried again
In this episode, we’re sharing the story of our breakup, what led to the relationship ending, what we didn’t fully understand at the time, and some of the hard truths we both had to face after walking away. We talk about the heartbreak, the confusion, the season of no contact, what made Shiv…
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Ep.105 Taking accountability without getting defensive
Taking accountability without getting defensive is one of the hardest and most important skills in relationships. In this episode, we talk about what it really looks like in real life, especially in those moments where your instinct is to shut down or push back. We break down how defensiveness is...
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Ep.104 The power of nervous system awareness
Nervous system awareness might be one of the most underrated relationship skills and one of the most powerful. When you start to recognize what’s happening in your body in real time, everything shifts. You move from reacting on autopilot to responding with intention, creating more safety…
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Ep.103 The skill that will change your relationship: not taking things so personally
Not taking things personally is one of the most foundational (and most challenging) relationship skills. In this episode, we explore what it really looks like to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and hold a steady, loving view of them even when you feel triggered. Because the truth is,...
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Ep.102 The ways we control our partner
In this episode, we explore the many ways control quietly shows up in our relationships and why it’s usually not about power, but protection. Beneath the surface, control is often rooted in fear, past wounds, and a deep desire to feel safe. We unpack how these patterns can look both obvious and...
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Ep.101 Good partners are never even
In this episode, we explore the quiet ways scorekeeping can creep into relationships and why the healthiest partnerships are rarely ever “even.” What starts as tracking chores or effort is often something deeper: the desire to feel seen, valued, and supported. We talk about how resentment builds...
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Ep.100 Conversations with God
We’ve officially hit 100 episodes! To celebrate, in this episode we pull back the curtain on the journey that started it all. We share how we felt called to begin this podcast, the ways we experienced God guiding us along the way, and what it looked like to trust something bigger than ourselves.…
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Ep.99 Navigating hard seasons in a relationship
In this episode, we talk about the reality that every relationship goes through different seasons. Some feel light and easy, while others are stretching and difficult. Learning to recognize and name the season you’re in can shift the way you experience it and help you remember that hard moments...
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Ep.98 If you never argue in your relationship, that’s a problem!
Everyone says they want a conflict-free relationship, but the truth is that if two people are truly being themselves, conflict is inevitable. You would have to be the exact same person to never disagree. In this episode, we talk about why conflict isn’t the problem in relationships and what...
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Ep.97 Holding your view of your partner
In this episode, we explore why maintaining a positive view of your partner is one of the most protective forces in a relationship and how easy it is to lose. We talk about the subtle ways resentment, unspoken expectations, triggers, and everyday stress can slowly shift the lens you see your...
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Ep.96 As you heal what you attract changes
Why do the relationships that once felt electric start to feel exhausting as you grow? This conversation was sparked by watching Wuthering Heights and realizing just how differently we define love, chemistry, and passion now compared to earlier versions of ourselves. In this episode, we talk…
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Ep.95 What vulnerability requires
Vulnerability sounds simple, but in real life it’s layered, tender, and requires more than just one person being willing to open up. In this episode, we explore what actually creates the conditions for people to feel safe enough to be seen and why trust is something that’s built in small, quiet...
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Ep.94 Q&A
This episode is a rapid-fire Q&A sharing an honest snapshot of where we’re at right now, both individually and in our relationship. We talk about what’s been activating us, patterns we’re noticing, beliefs we’re outgrowing, and what feels tender, easier, or still requires intention in this…
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Ep.93 The beliefs that once kept you safe now keep you stuck
Our limiting beliefs and insecurities don’t come out of nowhere—they’re learned, often in moments where we were trying to protect ourselves. In this episode, Dave and Shiv explore how these patterns form and why they can feel so hard to break. Dave shares how his beliefs around working out kept…
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Ep.92 Making peace with your past
In this episode, Dave and Shiv share why making peace with your past is foundational to healing, emotional safety, and healthy relationships. They explore how unresolved experiences quietly shape the way we show up, love, and protect ourselves. Shiv vulnerably shares some of the hardest parts of...
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Ep. 91 When things get toxic
This episode explores what people usually mean when they say a relationship feels toxic and how to tell when something is no longer just difficult, but unhealthy. The conversation looks at the difference between conflict that leads to repair and patterns that repeat without real change. It also...
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Ep.90 The most underrated relationship skill: Holding space
Holding space is one of the most powerful and misunderstood relationship skills. In this episode, Shiv and Dave break down what emotional validation really is, why it’s what every partner wants when they are upset, and what makes it so hard to offer in the moment. They explore the blocks to…
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Ep.89 Family Estrangement: When distance becomes necessary
Family estrangement is one of the most painful and complex relationship experiences a person can walk through, and this episode approaches it with honesty, compassion, and deep care. Dave shares his personal journey with family estrangement, what it has cost him, what it has taught him, and how...
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Ep.88 Our Take on New Year’s Resolutions
The New Year tends to arrive with a lot of pressure — to change faster, do more, fix everything, and somehow become a brand-new version of yourself overnight. In this episode, we slow the whole thing down and offer a different perspective on what this season is actually for. We talk about why…
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Ep.87 Happiest or hardest time of the year?
The holidays are often framed as the happiest time of the year… but for many, they can also be the hardest. In this episode, Dave and Shiv talk honestly about why the holiday season can feel so heavy, from unmet expectations and family dynamics to grief, loneliness, and the invisible mental...
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Ep.86 Blocks to gratitude
We talk a lot about the power of gratitude—but if it’s so good for us, why don’t we live there all the time? In this episode, we explore the blocks to gratitude and what actually gets in the way of feeling it, even when there’s so much to appreciate. Using a real moment from the day after...
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Ep.85 Relationships: the playground for personal growth
In this conversation, we explore one of the most surprising truths about personal development: the work you do for your relationship is the same work that transforms every part of your life. Relationships act like a mirror—showing you the patterns, wounds, and habits that quietly shape how you...
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Ep.84 Does your trauma make you stronger?
In this episode, we unpack the complicated relationship between trauma and growth—and why going through something hard isn’t what makes you stronger. We talk about the difference between experiencing trauma and actually healing from it, and Shiv opens up about how the saying “what doesn’t kill…
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Ep.83 We weaponized the work
In this episode, we’re getting honest about a pattern we didn’t expect to find in our own relationship: using personal growth tools in ways they were never meant to be used. We talk about how easy it is, once you’ve done a lot of healing and communication work, to slip into correcting, analyzing,...
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Ep.82 Your permission to not be liked
This week we’re diving into the uncomfortable truth that not everyone is going to like you — and why that’s actually okay. We talk through our own experiences with rejection, wanting to be misunderstood, and the pressure to manage how people see you. It’s an honest, unstructured conversation…
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About this show
Welcome to the All of You Podcast with Dave and Shiv Martinell! A few years and one too many fights ago, our relationship led us on personal journeys toward self awareness, healing, and personal growth. We started to see that the more we healed, the better we started showing up not just in our relationship, but in the workplace, in our friendships, with our daughters, and most importantly for ourselves. Our hope is that in sharing our own raw and vulnerable truths, others will be inspired, feel seen, and will want to pursue growth and healing in their own lives. We’re driven by the belief that as each person heals, the collective heals and that’s how we make this world a more beautiful and loving place.Ready to do the work and go deeper in your own healing with a certified coach? Book a consultation call with us:Dave: https://calendly.com/dlmartinell/30minShiv: https://calendly.com/siobhanmartinell/30min
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allofyoupodcast
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