PODCAST · comedy
Almost Positive
by almostpositive
Tune in weekly as two people and a menagerie of unlikely guests fill us in on matters of society and culture. Some qualified and some that shouldn’t even be allowed in public. All integral parts of what makes this country great. People who live in the street, people that save lives, thugs, educators, clowns, social justice warriors and internet trolls.
Episodes
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Almost Positive Ep. 36 - That's What I Listen to While Eating Peanut Butter Pickle Sandwiches
This week the guys are joined by Almost Positive conspiracy expert Klaus Neuhaus, who tells them about the Joe Biden body double and the first CIVD vaccine test patient. They are also joined by Evey Winters a trans woman and connoisseur of kindness (and hot sauces) who educates the gentlemen on...
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Almost Positive Ep. 35 - How Many Dates Before A Guy Can Cry In Front Of A Woman?
This week the guys have Luis aka Dishwata, Layne, and Etti. They discuss Christmas date-rape song "Baby it's cold outside", perverts in wrestling, straight edge lifestyles, and the power of stickers to inspire the human spirit. The gang also shares some sad stories before getting into some hot...
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Almost Positive Ep. 34 - American Turkeys and Undead Priapism
This week the guys talk turkeys and post mortem boners. Sir shares his recent experience in Mexico, as well as a fact about turkeys, then Van shares his new word of the week. They are joined by author and returning guest Toby Nixon who teaches the gentlemen new words and shares a few stories that...
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Almost Positive Ep. 32 - Four Social Workers Walk Into A Bar...
This week we have a social worker extravaganza! First, we have Miss A a local Chicago social worker who focuses on youth. Jairo, aka Tyrone, aka Jamal, our friend David, aya Hydro, aka Uri, who brings in some golden internet morsels! We have Tony B making his triumphant, he discusses the failed...
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Almost Positive Ep. 31 - The Almost Positive Great Debate, The Privilege Rainbow
This week we have a special episode, The Almost Positive Great Debate: The Privilege Rainbow! The guys are joined by the greatest minds that have ever graced their measly podcast. The new voice of Almost Positive Carlos Townsend joins and refuses to give advice to the children. Our Chihuahua…
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Almost Positive Ep. 30 - The Real Spookies, Normies, and Queens
This week the guys are joined by cryptozoology experts Yakov and Klaus Neuhaus of the Skinwalker Tapes, who bring in a top 10 list of all the cryptids that matter. The gentlemen are also joined by Dotty Spartans, host of the I Spit in Your Mouth: An Ooky Spooky Podcast who is in to discuss the...
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Almost Positive Ep. 29 - Are Women The True Oppressors Of Mankind?
This week, in what can only be described as a sausage party, the guys are joined by future American politician, Tony B, who shares his insights on the fair tax. They are also joined by returning guest Andy who tell us about a traumatic event he survived as a child. As if this wasn't enough,...
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Almost Positive Ep. 28 - Opinion, Conviction, Bullsh**t, and Trump's Dreamy Smile
This week, in yet another blatant disregard for social distancing the guys are joined by a gaggle of fascinating characters. At the top of the show, they are joined by local Chicago tattoo artists and power-couple, Nena and Keef. Also in-studio are Sir Rollington's barber Jon and one of his…
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Almost Positive Ep. 27 - The Science is in! Men are Stupid (and other dating advice)
This week the guys are joined by Jairo, aka Jamal, aka Tyrone, aka Hydro, aka our friend David, aka Ury for another sexy Destination Unknown. They are also joined again by Steff, one of Sir Rollington's spicy Facebook friends with a great theory: Men Are Stupid! In the audience is also Steff's...
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Almost Positive Ep.26 - Just a beef Patty and Peanut Butter, it was Delicious
This week the guys are joined by long-time friend and first-time guest A.J. a former veterinarian turned budtender who has known the guys since high school. They also joined by Albino Alien, the mother of previous guest Larson. And as if this wasn't enough Alexis (from Ep. 22.5 - Never Forget the...
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Almost Positive Ep. 25 - Almost Positive, A Good Choice for You, But Not for Me
This week the guys are joined by Nerressa, finally making her triumphant return to continue the Tupac conversation. They are also joined by Sugar, a professional online troll and long-time Facebook friend of Sir Rollington's. As if that wasn't enough they are also joined in-studio by Axel…
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Almost Positive Ep. 24 - A Hero Is A Hero, Floor Mattress Or Not
This week, live and direct from the kitchen studio, we learn that apparently the men are no better than the women. The guys are joined by the unofficial 4th member of the show: Carlos. Long time friend, local business owner, and renowned Chicago metalhead Ulysses joins the show. At the top of the...
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Almost Positive Ep. 23 - Is It Better To Read 10,000 Books Or To Do 10,000 Podcasts?
This week, for the unlucky 23rd episode the guys bring together a gaggle of champions of industry from across the globe. At the top of the show Jairo aka Jamal aka Tyrome aka Hydro, aka Our Friend David aka Uri and discuss mammals, being lied to about vagina by one's parents and they send out a...
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Almost Positive Ep. 22.5 - Never Forget the Atlantians of 9/11
I this Special Edition Episode (riddle with major technical difficulties, thanks to Homeland Security and Zucc) the guys explore 9/11. First, they speak to George, who believes the official story and provides a unique perspective as someone who saw the moon landing and Kennedy get assassinated.…
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Almost Positive Ep. 22 - Imagine Fisting Frozen Turkeys and Making Rich Men Squeal
This week the guys go in DEEP. First, the guys are joined in-studio by Layne, bass player extraordinaire, and Almost Positive’s first ZOOMER!! And Andy, Van, and Sir’s long time high school friend, as well as this week’s diversity quota guest. First, Sir makes a public service announcement for...
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Almost Positive Ep. 21 - At Least Adolf Would Be Old Enough To Consent!
In what might be one of the most insightful episodes thus far the guys embarked on a journey that takes many strange turns this week. At the top of the show, the guys are joined in-studio by Royce who is making his first in-studio appearance. They discuss and further examine last week’s floor...
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Almost Positive Ep. 20 - Floor Mattresses and Kung Fu Grip
This week Almost Positive gives into the raving demands for more female presence on the show. The guys are joined by Sir Rollington’s girlfriend, Angie, and mutual friend of Sir and Van’s, Nerressa (two for one diversity guest!). They are also joined by local metalhead and man well versed in...
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Almost Positive Ep. 19 - Democracy Sounds Like Macaroni In A Pot
This week's episode is all about female empowerment. We have the stars of episode 13, the infamous lost episode, Tony B and Dishwata. They are also briefly joined by Angie (Sir Rollington's girlfriend) and her sister, who share their opinions about the modern-day feminist anthem WAP. The guys…
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Almost Positive Ep. 18 - Abolish Deadbeat Dads, Defund Big Brother
This week we get the sequel to Episode 11: "Yay! We're All Victims Now!!". In-studio we have Jairo aka Jamal, aka Jerome, aka our friend David aka Ury, we have Emma gracing us with her insights for another week in a row, and Gaby returns to reveal her privilege level via her DNA ancestry test...
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Almost Positive Ep. 17 - The Adrenochrome Boogie
This week the guys dive deep into conspiracy land one-mo-gin. They are joined by Friendly Neighborhood Bruja Emma, who is making her return and as if that wasn't enough, they are also joined by conspiracy correspondent Leo. who is also making a victorious return! They discuss Sir Rollington's...
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Almost Positive Ep. 16 - Aryan Paleteros Be Gone!
This week the guys have a full house. At the top of the show, the gentlemen discuss Sir Rollington's toxic masculinity, Van Rollington's new blonde hair, and his recent professional fulfillment. The guys are joined by conspiracy connoisseur Klaus Neuhaus and watcher of elite bloodline watcher…
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Almost Positive Ep. 15 - Bean and Porn Salad, with Justice Dressing
This week the guys are joined by Youtube mash-up legend Bill McClintock and audience favorite JC. They talk Will and Jada drama, Snoop Dogg drama, and the fundamentals of a good mash-up. They also revisit centrist hell and play a round of India or Mexico, after which they get into the news. In…
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Almost + Ep. 14 - Margaret Sanger, What It Does?
This week the guys really felt the true meaning of the number 13. We learn that the night before they recorded what might have been Almost Positive's greatest efforts, only for it to be deleted in one of Van's stoner stupors. Jairo aka Jamal aka Jerome aka Our Friend David aka Hydro joins us...
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Almost Positive Ep. 12 - The Greatest Country On God's Green Earth
In this episode Almost Positive celebrates America! The gentlemen are joined in-studio by show-regular Carlos. Sir shares some stories about growing up wanting to come to America and Van talks about his recent deep dive into the Terminator movies. After a well deserved tribute to the U.S.A.…
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Almost Positive Ep. 11 Yay! We're All Victims Now!!
This week we're all victims at Almost Positive and it feels so good! The guys have a jam-packed episode filled with all sorts of light brown bodies in-studio. The show kicks off with best-friend of the show Jairo aka Jamal, aka Jerome, aka our friend David who brings us an unforgettable…
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Almost Positive Ep. 10.5 - Real American Hero
For this episode the guys have long time friend and manliest man they know, the legendary Drano. A special edition episode that explores what it was like for him growing up in the far west side of Chicago, in a Hispanic neighborhood, where his white privilege wasn't accepted currency. He tells us...
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Almost Positive Ep. 10 - Cannabis Infused
This week the guys get toasted, just in time for 4/20. At the top of the show they talk about wrestler New Jack, the recent shooting of Rashad Brooks and how social workers will soon save the world! Then the gentlemen are joined by 2 very special individuals; Melinda Meme, long time (online)…
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Almost Positive Ep. 9 - Will The Justice Seekers Ever See The Light?
This week the guys see the light. At the top of the show the guys wonder if the Democrats are just continuing Charles Manson's Helter Skelter plans. Sir Rollington shares his recent experience at a local "protest" that involved finger foods, Jesse Jackson and VIP passes. Then Van shares a story…
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Almost Positive Ep. 8.5 - XXXtra Spicy Clown World and Epstein Didn't Kill Himself
In this special edition of Almost Positive Coast 2 Coast Edition they guys talk fellow meme war veteran Leo. They discuss the Existence of Kek, the malevolent Moloch as well as the true omnipotent nature of order and chaos. In addition they reveal highly compromising information about Jeffrey...
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Almost Positive Ep. 8 - No White Guilt Allowed
This week the guys break records with an almost 4 hour long episode. The rants are towering infernos of nothing but flames and fire. Social justice fills the air and unity illuminates the path forward as special guest and local entrepreneur (Check out RiseRevolt Clothing) Ulysses joins…
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Almost Positive Ep. 7.5 - Violence Is (Sometimes) Never The Answer
This week we get a special edition episode! The guys have Carlos Townsend, long time friend of the show and even longer time friend of Van and Sir Rollington. In addition this is Almost Positive’s first in-studio session! Social Distancing be damned. At the top of the show Carlos shares his…
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Almost Positive Ep. 7 - The Language of The Unheard
This week the guys get into the tragic incident that took place in Minneapolis where four police officers took the life of unarmed George Floyd. We then find out that Almost Positive has been crossing borders throughout the world, or maybe just being listened to through VPNs. The gentlemen then...
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Almost Positive Ep. 6 - If You Don't Like Almost Positive, You Ain't Black
This week the guys are joined not by one guest, not by two, but by 3 brilliant minds. At the top of the show they get into Joe Biden's peek behind the Democratic machine's mindset about black people, after which they talk about the situation that unfolded in Brunswick, Georgia where a couple good...
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Almost Positive Ep. 5 - If Only The Government Could Have Bought Me A Father
This week the guys pay tribute to one of the greats, Little Richard, a bad ass who never gave a shit and is now with our lord and savior! Van tells a story about him and his friend buying wieners and beer while violating Chicago's new Mormon-COVID-19 restrictions. Van also informs us about the...
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Almost Positive Ep. 4 - The future Is Progressive-Female, Unless Mom Shows Up
This week the gentlemen are all about inclusion and diversity. In yet another ill-advised PR move they try to bring in some new perspective. First they share the good news that Van Rollington does not have the coof and then they play a sad song for the poor people that are just now, in 2020,...
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Almost Positive Ep. 3 - Two Knuckles Deep
This week the guys get into the letter Donald Trump sent every American that got Stimulus money, and why it was translated in Spanish on the back. They also get into the strange decisions one has to make when in positions of power and how things become less black and white. In Destination Unknown...
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Almost Positive Coast 2 Coast Edition - Boomer Remover
This week's episode is a special bonus episode. A leaked classified broadcast where the guys take a deep dive into a few conspiracies. First they talk about Skinwalker Tapes a reputable source for all things Cryptozoology and conspiracies. After that they shed some light on Chinese involvement…
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Almost Positive Ep. 2 - Feminist Sex Dolls
This week Van and Sir Rollington are joined (FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW) by Jamal, aka, Jarome, aka Jairo who graced us for an entire hour and forty minutes with immersive background noise, the likes of which very few men can make so enjoyable. They also discuss their first shout out by long time…
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Almost Positive Ep. 0 - The Ramdalam
Today's Almost Positive is our final testing phase episode. Essentially what people should expect, for better or worse. We discuss positive body image and the fact that Ken should also be made with different body types to be inclusive like Barbie. Van shares some lessons he learned from the Tiger...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Tune in weekly as two people and a menagerie of unlikely guests fill us in on matters of society and culture. Some qualified and some that shouldn’t even be allowed in public. All integral parts of what makes this country great. People who live in the street, people that save lives, thugs, educators, clowns, social justice warriors and internet trolls.
HOSTED BY
almostpositive
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Almost Positive have?
Almost Positive currently has 40 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Almost Positive about?
Tune in weekly as two people and a menagerie of unlikely guests fill us in on matters of society and culture. Some qualified and some that shouldn’t even be allowed in public. All integral parts of what makes this country great. People who live in the street, people that save lives, thugs,...
How often does Almost Positive release new episodes?
Almost Positive has 40 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Almost Positive?
You can listen to Almost Positive on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Almost Positive?
Almost Positive is created and hosted by almostpositive.
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