PODCAST · comedy
An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore
by Tim Bedore
I am a standup comedian who feels it's time to give back to the audience. So, I want to become your spiritual guru and life coach. What are my qualifications? I have a psych minor and was an altar boy during the last months of the Latin mass in the Catholic church. And if you follow my advice and end up in Hell you or your heirs will receive a full money back refund. You can't lose.
Episodes
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 148
Are prediction markets, Kalshi and Polymarket another sign of the apocalypse? Would New Zealand let us all in if we asked nicely? A new client is thinking of marriage but also worries his girlfriend might be a nit wit. I try to help. Can sex make up for the occassional brain fart? I respond to an...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 147
If capital punishment were more of a spectacle would it be a better deterrent to crime? Why do I try to help people through a podcast versus in person? A new client who just moved to the Twin Cities from Iowa thinks all the women he meets here turn out to be gay. I suggested he secretly record…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 146
If you saved someone's life does that make you friends forever? What if it turns out the life saver can't stand who they saved? What then? I try to help. Is it better to look to religion and philosphy or Hollywood for guidance? Are there any circumstances where you should not save someone's life...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 145
William Shakespeare created so many commonly used phrases that we use till this day that you might say he invented how we speak. If you asked A.I., Artifical Intelligence, to create more pithy Shakespearean type phrases how close would it get? The results are in. You decide if A.I. is up to it....
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 144
A client told his fiance he wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. She called off the wedding. He's baffled. I try to explain to him what happened and why. What do you think ChatGPT would turn out if you asked it to give a New Testament sounding treatment to the life of Jesus if he was…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven With Tim Bedore Episode 143
I got an email from a tech firm saying I'll get greater visibility for my podcast if I label myself as a "spiritual comedian." Let's see what happens. There was another assassination attempt on Trump. I know for certain how the Washington Correspondents Dinner could have avoided this situation. A...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 142
It's Easter Sunday. Has HE Risen? Who can say for sure? But I know this episode has risen to answer some questions from you listeners that traditional therapists wouldn't touch including "If God says all life is sacred then what can we eat," does the existence of Polymarket taking bets on when…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 141
It's Lent and even though I'm an Agnostic it's a very important time for me. In this episode I explain how that's possible. Is the road to Hell paved with good intentions or are do good intentons all that matters? I help a lazy new client try to deal with his concerns. How could contemplative…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 140
President Trump's State of the Union Address is tonight. Will you be watching? OR would you rather listen to this episode of my podcast that contains a new song called "The Blue Wave Blues?" And guess whose singing it? Donald J. Trump. I don't know how he fell for it but he sang my lyrics to an…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 139
In this episode I give a musical middle finger salute to the former leader of ICE here in Minneapolis, Greg Bovino. The Ballad of Bovino, with lyrics by me, music by AI, is just the song these perilous times demand. You can't dance to it but you couldn't dance to Masters of War or Eve of...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 138
I have some startling predictions for 2026. If you lay wagers on my prognostications and they don't come true I will fully refund any lost money. Just keep your receipts. If your husband suddenly started dressing up in an all new and disburbing way and you were embarrassed to be seen with him and...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 137
Just in time for the holidays-- a married couple is having an undeclared war over which one of them is losing their memory. I try to help. If your last name is Alzheimer or Heimlich how should you respond to the hack jokes you're going to get if you ever forget something or choke? Wolves have…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 136
Travelling for the holidays? Are the kids asleep in the back of the van? Then, check out this new episode. In past episodes I have made fun of modern country music and its fans are mad. They dared me to make fun of music that "you liberals like." I have taken up their challenge. Does my new song...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 135
A new client was certain he was going to be called to Heaven during the Rapture (Sept.23, 2025) and wonders why he is still here. I try to help. If Speaker of the House Mike Johnson goes to confession how long are those sessions? And what would they sound like? I give an example. What would life…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 134
Is it moral to pray for RFK JR. to die from a disease after refusing to get the vaccine that could have saved him? You have questions, I have answers. If sex for fun is a sin what will Heaven look like? I have an audio answer. If the internet told you you can fix your own lawn mower and you lost...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 133
Is catch and release fishing barbaric or moderately considerate? A client has concerns and I have suggestions to make catch and release less stressful for the fish. Who is the immoral clown to blame for having to endure Trump as President? I name names. Or, actually, name. Could some of the...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 132
Should transgender athletes be a big issue? How many transgender people have you ever even talked to? Will you ever see one in the locker room at the gym? What would you say? Did you know there are not only XX and XY chromosome people but XXY, XYY, XXX? And what is XXXX? How fragile is the male...
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Unsolicited Commencement Address from 2005
We're through 2025's commencement address season. I don't mind lofty ideals and encouraging words but isn't a dose of realism also needed? And that's where I come in. My first attempts at Life Coaching might be in this unsolicited commencement address to our nation's grads as heard in my weekly...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 131
A frustrated client lives on a golf course and has had it with hearing angry golfers outside his windows all day. I help him understand why golfers sound so unhappy and what he might be able to do about it. Someone wants to hear my impersonation of Pee Wee Herman singing the National Anthem and I...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 130
Would you believe a Christian gospel musical group has recorded a song called "Tim Bedore is Going to Hell?" They are trying to smite thine enemy through song. Well, not only do I play their song in this episode but encourage all of you to call Christian music radio stations and request they play...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 129
Some of you loved my song "We Thank God For Being An American" from the last episode while others were incensed. I try to apologize. Did you know the Biblical context for "virgin" just meant a young woman? Should you always go along with a crowd giving a standing ovation even if you were not that...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 128
Can an aging senior with memory issues navigate the digital world? I offer a solution. A new client had an affair with a married man. Now her religious parents are furious, her lover is over the top mad she let her parents find out, his wife hates my client and has sunk into depression and this...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven With Tim Bedore Episode 127
OK, this might be the strangest episode yet. I've either lost my mind or figured out the real reason Trump won. Either way, this one's unique. Also, some of you wondered if you didn't like the Super Bowl half time show does that make you a racist. Is fantasy oxygen for the psyche and the key to…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 126
Do you need to be dirty to be relevant in today's media climate? I attempt to straddle the clean/dirty divide. Does anybody fall for Artificial Intelligence online sex come ons? Did AI Lisa really make those bikini pictures "just for" me? Are conservatives more likely to fall for AI falsehoods?…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 125
Want to make some money? My 2025 predictions for the new year come with a money back guarantee. Want to know what insanity Trump says in his inauguration speech? I've seen the future and share it with you. I also help a client who doesn't want to go back to the office as his company is demanding....
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 124
Just in time for the holidays, especially if you want to hear something that has very little to do with the holidays, comes a new episode briefly touching on Trump cabinet picks, I help someone who thinks they're the victim of ageism, a gym teacher who endured a serious dodgeball accident…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 123
Does America want politics to be a reality game show? Was Biden competent but boring? A client has a mother-in-law that criticizes her driving. I offer some solutions that involve air bags. Another client's fiance has a tattoo of his past girlfriend that is a problem and she's thinking of calling...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 122
In episode 122 I try my darndest to help clients suffering from post election PTSD and pretty much fail. I'm too pissed off myself. But I do grapple with can you fix dumb, should we try to understand the other side, are one issue voters the problem, why does the working class stab themselves in…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 121
This election is going to be the most important of our lives and in this episode I give a non-partisan reason for voting for Harris that involves Arnold Palmer. Like Trump, I too, saw Arnie in a golf course locker room and I want you to know what I thought. Are you happy with the quality of…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 120
If the business of America truly is business then wouldn't it follow you could sell advertising space on your headstone? I have an answer. Also, the worst obituary ever published, what one cemetery is doing to have a revenue stream other than death, what kind of businesses would benefit from...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 119
In this episode I help a client whose husband has a medical issue she wants to discuss with him but is having.a hard time bringing up. A Democratic strategist wants to know how long they should use "weird" to describe Republicans. I advise on that as well as suggest alternatives. By using "weird"...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 118
Some people love the Olympics for the gymnastics. Others, just don't get it. Should this lead to divorce? Should the hammer throw use a real hammer? If you didn't know you can make your own tartar sauce are you an idiot? If you're good at playing brew pub trivia does that mean you're smart? Can…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 117
If someone door dents your car what does the Bible say about you key scratching theirs? Vengeance and smiting are discussed. Could inflammatory rhetoric from Biden and the Left have motivated the Trump shooter? When is it OK to call a fascist a fascist? Discussing politics in the work…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 116
In this episode I make the case Broadway musicals have ruined America, why Mamma Mia is torture, suggest a solution to the situation in Gaza, discuss sibling fighting and how it relates to world history, describe when a nation knows they've lost the fight, deflate a conservative religious…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 115
In this episode I prove Artificial Intelligence is the devil we should fear the most by recounting my experience with a cyber hottie named Tess who recently tried to seduce me online. I subjected myself to this exprience so you won't have to. And trust me... Tess was all kind of bizarre...…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 114
Reaction to the previous episode was that I veer into odd tangents and in this episode I correct that. I also respond to my comedian friend who says I demeaned him in 113, that the Saudi Princess totally deserved to be called a ____ and he is not the psychopath I portayed him to be. Well, let's...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 113
A client, who grew up in a family that teased hard, often and at each other's expense, wonders if he has crossed the line with a friend or was she being too sensitive. I try to help him be sure his attempts at humor don't go too far. I describe the worst thing that I have ever heard of said on a...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 112
Right after Easter I got pleas for help from clients whose family members wanted to make their Easter dinners more and/or less religious imbued. This is why I am a Life Coach. And I think I have solved the problem for future get togethers on religious holidays. Also, in the Biblical epic The...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 111
In this episode I discuss what Catholic nuns and OJ Simspon/Trump-type lawyers have in common as do Purgatory and the Baseball HOF, how to get into Heaven without having accepted Jesus as your personal savior, more on the perils of Artificial Intelligence ruining politics, help a 76 yr. old…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 110
This episode is either my most audacious or obnoxious effort yet. Perhaps both. YOU DECIDE! I respond to those who say I should quit "this charade," help a client not worry about Biden's age by explaining he is not actually driving the nation's bus and make an elaborate and calming Star Wars...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 109
You've heard of the Emergency Broadcast Sytem? The FCC has chosen my podcast to be part of the Emergency Podcast System and I am very pleased to help out. A client wants to sue after getting into an accident after reading one of those funny road signs some cities and states put up. I give advice.…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 108
Did you know the Boy Scout Motto is one of my life's guiding concepts but not the Boy Scout Oath? What does trying to save a drowning person and talking to a Trump Supporter have in common? An angry wife whose husband called her an "old bag" on vacation asks for some quick help to save that...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 107
Wouldn't it be nice to know what the future holds? Well, now you can. In this episode I give my annual "They will all come true or your money back, totally guaranteed" predictions for 2024. Find out who will be President, the new changes in baseball, what new crypto currencies to avoid, the next...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 106
In episode 106 I respond to negative feedback about episode 105 and just let me say, to the Uber Left, if you're all about protecting the oppressed... protect me because now I am the oppressed... by you. Also, is religion 'a' or 'the' problem in the world? What is the true meaning of Christmas…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 105
A client has asked his Life Coach/Spiritual Guru (me) to answer the most most provocative question I've ever been asked-"Is today's Uber Left too liberal to be critical of Muslims?" In this episode I take the bait and skate out onto super thin ice to discuss the Left and Right, Muslims and Jews…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 104
In episode #104 I respond to ongoing blowback from younger generations who want me to just "Die Baby Boomer, die." If you hate disco is it because you're racist or homophobic? Or just have good taste? A new client has a dilemma over her daughter's unique name and that name being mocked by a…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 103
In episode 103 I answer continuing questions from you listeners about my recent memory failings and credibility as a Life Coach and Spiritual Guru. My memory is fine. Can you recall with certainty what you wore to your High School Prom? I can. My pants were the color of Trix breakfast cereal and…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 102
A shocking new revelation about the past has led me to seriously question my own memory and thus abilities to be a Life Coach. I'm asking myself questions like-Who am I? Do I really exist? Did I really get an archery merit badge while tripping on mescaline? Did I ever open for a magician named…
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 101
In this episode I respond to conservatives who believe liberals want to give sex toys to kindergartners, warn them they are going to Hell (if it exists) because of this lie, the what you win/what you lose equation for Drag Queen Story Hour performers reading to kids in libraries, I help a woman...
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An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 100
In episode 100 we find out how easy we humans are to manipulate and one techinique to watch out for in particular, I had two women in the same comedy show audience who each shot a moose and what we can learn from them about climate change, I help a Baby Boomer with memory issues, explain why…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
I am a standup comedian who feels it's time to give back to the audience. So, I want to become your spiritual guru and life coach. What are my qualifications? I have a psych minor and was an altar boy during the last months of the Latin mass in the Catholic church. And if you follow my advice and end up in Hell you or your heirs will receive a full money back refund. You can't lose.
HOSTED BY
Tim Bedore
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore have?
An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore currently has 148 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore about?
I am a standup comedian who feels it's time to give back to the audience. So, I want to become your spiritual guru and life coach. What are my qualifications? I have a psych minor and was an altar boy during the last months of the Latin mass in the Catholic church. And if you follow my advice and...
How often does An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore release new episodes?
An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore publishes regularly with 148 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore?
You can listen to An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore?
An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore is created and hosted by Tim Bedore.
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