Angel City Zen Center - Beginners Only Podcast

Sara delves into the thorny weeds of spiritual crises, starting with a raw one of her own, and how to work with listening practice in zazen. What is that black tangled knot in our chests and how might we untie it? What is spiritual crisis and can we be better off for having had it? How can we trust ourselves once we’ve noticed that we can’t entirely be trusted?? Find out here!

In our ongoing series where brave sangha members tell us the story what they’re doing and why they’re here (while we just maybe learn something about those things for ourselves), LA local Cole, born just a few blocks down the road tells us a wonderfully insightful story about doing his damndest to runaway from home and faith and, luckily for us, finding himself right here but maybe in a totally new and deeper way? Do Catholics just like doing things the hard way? What does it mean to not take life seriously? Is there such a thing as a breakup rakusu?? Find out here!

What would make someone not a Buddhist?? Life is fleeting, unsatisfying, & essentially empty, and are we into, and ready to reckon with that? Or so the argument goes. Is the road to joy beyond our wildest beliefs paved with cynical expressions? Why can’t Buddhism say something nice? Is this the answer to every question anyone has about Buddhism and every issue we have in life?? Find out here!

In a starkly honest and personal talk, Gyokei reflects on renunciation and picking & choosing through his experience growing up as a rural temple kid and living as a modern professional monk among sincere Western lay practitioners. Can letting go of wants still mean getting what we need? How does renunciation work for a monk with a salary and a family to feed? What lessons about choice can sincere lay practitioners learn from their example, and which ones should they definitely not?? Find out here!

On a quest to find us the final answer to the problem of time, ethics, and being, Bryan stumbles into the far more fascinating conundrum of himself and what we’re really seeking when we try to settle our questions. What is philosophy and intellect actually good for and how can it help? What’s the difference between explaining something and anyone understanding? Can Bryan redeem the patriarchy in 40 minutes or less?? Find out here!

Sara gives us an insightful reflection on narrative and story telling, either our most powerful technology or our greatest hindrance to seeing the world honestly. Should we be trying to see through our narratives, or harness them for our benefit? What’s the difference between main character syndrome and taking responsibility for your life? Is Sara blessed with the LA parking superpowers, or is that kind of wishful thinking a magic of its own?? Find out here!!

In an encouraging pep talk for ango, Dave unveils a new translation of the bodhisattva vows and rouses us to the impossibility of fulfilling them and the impossibility of not living up them. Is devoting your life to others a recipe for getting taken advantage or the most selfish thing we could do? Is making art selfish or service? Is Taylor Swift ready to take on the dark teachings of Buddhism?? Find out here!

Sara gives us a candid Zen look at modern dating, aka an endless opportunity for working with compassion. Does seeing the best in people bring out the best in ourselves? Should we give people the benefit of the doubt, or is that just a recipe for getting let down? Is all life a performance and if so can it be an authentic honest one?? Find out here!

Matthew brings us an encouraging and insightful talk on working with our default states, self worth, how to pay attention, karmic momentum, and sleepwalking our way toward our own best intentions. What is the right frame of mind for Zen practice or art, and do we have to be in it for it to count? What are the consequences of restlessness? Should we be judging ourselves more?? Find out here!

Samm spins us an ancient Zen love tragedy (that might even have a happy ending?), and helps us heal the one breakup we urgently need to mend, the splits in our selves and souls. What parts of our realities are we unable or unwilling to see? Have we ever been truly awake, or been safe enough to get an honest night’s sleep? When is or is it not time to go off to the mountains and never come back, jump off a moonlit cliff? Find out here!

Dave gives us a brass tacks intro to Zen and ACZC for beginners of all experience levels while making the case that Zen is the funniest world religion. Are we the only sincerely sarcastic spirituality? What’s the ACZC prescription for a full life of lay practice, and why should we follow it? Is this the way to grow into our best life and weirdest selves?? Find out here!

Patrick takes on the world and people that rile us up, and how to sit down and face the wall with them without actually turning our backs. Does paying attention mean being outraged? Can we practice peace without facilitating harm? Is the history of Zen an inspiring example of finding balance in conflict or a warning about misused mindfulness?? Find out here!

Sara delivers us a timely pep talk on how to find sustainable energy in an exhausting world. What’s the difference between grinding energy and joyful effort? How do we cultivate energy in zazen when all we’re doing is noticing? What exactly is a good use of our efforts and will we know it when we find it?? Find out here!

Dave tries to figure out what Zen meant when they said inanimate objects talk to us, and how to stay sustainably weird in a society that (for some reason) expects us to be reasonable productive members of it. What level of function do we owe our friends and families, and what does it cost us to play along? What kind of wonder do we lose in an age of reason, and is it possible to live in a world of rational magic? We talk to plants, but can you empathize with a tree, argue with a vacuum, talk to a computer?? Find out here!

Sara takes a hard hitting honest look at commitment, its phobia, and the choices we seem to be making for better or worse. What are we committing to whether we avoid it or not? Is regret the truest path to wisdom? Is there still time to take the path not taken?? Find out here!

Chris takes a Buddhist look at burn out and bad habits and how and why we choose to make things worse when we know so much better. Zen can shed light on our choices, but does it care to actually improve them? What should a responsible person look like? Are stale christmas cookies for breakfast the problem, or is judging stale christmas cookies for breakfast the problem?? Find out here!

Dave tells the story of the time Buddha preserved democracy for 2000 years and started a radical social revolution that not only didn’t get anyone hurt or killed, but had the kings and power brokers of the day falling over themselves to support what he was doing. How did he pull that off without making enemies of the powers he was challenging? Can we learn to wield selfless goallessness effectively? What are we really trying to win and who are we really trying to convince?? Find out here!

A well seasoned line cook takes a gig in the Zen kitchen and dishes us up a moving report on the dirt and dharma inherent to the work. How does the pure land of work practice stack up to the grizzled world of restaurant work? Is the spirit of service to give up our needs or serve ourselves first? Is there time for Buddhism in a Zen kitchen? Find out here!

Dave rings in the new year with a spirited rendition of Dogen’s Time Being and a wholehearted dissection of the idea and experience of time. Is time just an unreal concept, or the be all and end all of everything? (Yes) Do we need to learn to lighten up or learn to take ourselves far more seriously? (Yes!) Can we fulfill all our wildest aspirations without falling prey to our own agendas?? (Let’s find out…) Find out here!

Great sangha friend Beth Kaiserman brings us the story of what she’s doing and why she’s here; a story about spirituality for the irreligious and making a practice out of expressing yourself from the cushion to the page to the stage, even when deep down we might get the sneaking suspicion there’s nothing to explain. Who did we learn our resistance to authority from? Is it ever possible to truly do nothing? Can we, or should we even try to, make ourselves legible?? Find out here!

In a rousing exhortation for retreat, Sara takes on the impossible question of what exactly happened to Buddha the night he sat too long under a tree and apparently fixed everything. Is Buddha’s enlightenment for everybody, or is that just an ego’s fantasy? Why is a sense of belonging often such a foreign concept? What are we bursting to say after days of learning to silently communicate?? Find out here!

“ The revolution is in the individual spirit, or it is nowhere. It is for all or it is nothing. If it is seen as having an end, it will never truly begin.” Ursula Le Guin    Dave passes the caretaker torch and talks about dharma transmission, continuous practice, and never ending revolutions. Can we honor the past without being doomed to repeat it? Were the great masters of the past ever supposed to be role models? Are our charismatic teachers what’s holding us back? Find out here!

ACZC’s favorite poet in residence Matthew gives us a talk on Zen, creativity, and art and the many frictions and harmonies between them. Can we train spontaneity? Does Zen’s famous skepticism of the written word discourage or liberate our writing? If we’re so focused on letting our thoughts go, will we still be able to grab the good ones and get them on the page?? Find out here!

“You can go home again, so long as you understand that home is a place where you have never been.” - Ursula Le Guin   Sara kicks off the holiday season with a Zen look at nostalgia, going home, and living the past right here in the present moment. How do we honor where we’ve been without missing where we are? Does trying to live in the present mean we’re avoiding the past? Is the past a place never to be met again, or does it always exist everywhere?? Find out here!!

“She said, ‘This isn’t the koan you wanted.’ And I thought about that. What do you do with a koan you don't want? Usually, if it's a koan, you didn't want it.” - Resa Alboher   Long time sangha stalwart and dear friend Resa Alboher brings us the epic adventure of what brought her to ACZC across continents, decades of earth shaking world events, and moments of life altering personal ones as well. What do we with the koan we didn’t want? How do we sit still when lying down is all we can actually manage? And just what was the Buddhist scene in Moscow like at the fall of the USSR?? Find out here!

“What are you doing if you're not trying, or trying not to be doing something? Everything you're doing.” - Dave Cuomo   Dave gives us an exhortation to  hopeless faith for the hopelessly secular who might still be in the market for meaning and purpose. Can we really base a strong and sincere faith on literally nothing? Can skepticism and doubt be both the prison and the way out? Is it possible to believe in something you don’t already believe in? Is any of this up to us if the truth is it was never actually about us?? Find out here!!

Sara explores the trend of abundance mentalities and the uncertain economics of trying to do what you want with your life. Do we already always have what we need? Is manifesting actually a Zen thing? How much work does it take to have pulled your weight, and what’s a fair price for staring at a wall these days?? Find out here!

Heather makes some big life changes and takes the opportunity to explore the intimacy of not knowing. Do we need to find clarity before making a leap? Is the easiest way to steer to now know where you going? Can awkward silence be the sweetest of intimacies?? Find out here!

Dave brings us stories of famous Zen couples and pairings from throughout Zen history and his own life to see what we can learn about intimacy, leadership, followership, service & servitude, friendship, community, family, commitment, and our possible fears of any or all of those things. When do our loyalties become a liability? Does looking up to our bosses have to be a recipe for getting let down? Does this famously asexual tradition have a few things to teach us about intimacy?? Find out here!

Gyokei explores what it means to seek and find a true teacher through the story of his own yearning and search for one. Is the idea of a true teacher just one more delusion, will reality always betray our expectations? Should we practice with those we feel comfortable with or those who challenge us? Is giving up on people the best way to show your faith in them? Find out here!

Dave takes a historical and personal look at getting along with others and the magic sauce to finding a teacher and community you click with. Do we get to pick our sanghas any more than we get to pick our family? Is self reliance actually a Zen goal? And how do we get along in places where we’d definitely rather not belong?? Find out here!

Jordan walks us through a wonderfully complicated talk on being a compassionate person in our complex modern world - what we think it means, what we might wish for it to mean, and what honestly brings out the best in you and me. Can we be the kind person we long to be? How do we avoid just becoming a doormat in our kindness, and do the old teachings even want us to avoid being doormats (and are we ok with that)? Are we qualified to wield Zen’s famous so called fierce compassion, or are we kidding ourselves about that whole idea? Find out here!

Bryan brings us the story of growing up in a Zen that was not his own, going off to look for meaning everywhere else, only to find himself right back maybe where he started, and maybe not at all. What does it take to find ourselves enough to know when we’ve found our people? What lies underneath our ethics, and can finding it help bring us together? Is the problem actually me, or is it maybe you? Find out here!

Sara takes a Zen look at loneliness and the isolations we so often lament and long for. What’s the difference between loneliness and being alone? Do we get to pick our friends and community? Why do they make it sound like the goal of practice is to not need to rely on others at all, while also telling us there’s no such thing as ever truly being alone?? Find out here!

Dave brings us a talk on how to make peace with ourselves, guaranteed, after a difficult retreat when he’s feeling anything but peaceful. Whats the fool proof recipe to make peace with yourself and the world around you?  Is it healthy to get people together in a room and convince them there's a good reason (we won’t tell you) to be uncomfortable and likely unhappy for extended lengths of time, and that your reward will be nothing? What was the final sign Dave had completely and totally given up on Zen?? Find out here!

Matthew takes us on a spiritual journey through his curious resistance to Zen’s boundless acceptance. Is acceptance a hindrance to growth and change? Do we ultimately fear the contentment we seek? Does our Zen have room for both aimlessness and agency?? Find out here!

Samm takes us on a lyrical and lucid walk through what it means to be at home wherever you are, with some infotaining side quests into the relationship between polyvagal theory and zazen along the way. Why don’t we feel safe even when we apparently are? What (if any!) control do we have over our nervous system? Is too much discipline just another distraction or is an inconsistent regimen the most disciplined kind?? Find out here!

Good teachers go bad - which is confusing and upsetting. Dave does his best to walk us through best practices for managing boundaries, roles, and scandals in Zen as a balanced part of this complete practice. Is there something about Zen that makes it particularly prone to scandal? Are there things about Soto Zen that make it peculiarly well setup for healthy sanghas relationships? Were our teachers ever worthy of the roles we put them in, and do we even need such teachers at all?? Find out here!

Sara takes an honest look at desire to see if she can afford a fulfilling life with less filling pay. How can desires lead to fulfillment? Is too little ambition just as dangerous as too much? If we really followed Buddha’s prescriptions could the internet even exist?? Find out here!

Our great ancestor friend Keizan takes us on a wild ride of epically thorough zazen instruction, warnings, epiphanies, inspirations, cosmic descriptions and everything in between in ACZC’s fresh new translation of his classic “Points to Keep in Mind for Zazen” (Zazen Yojinki). What is the mind and what should we do with it? What should we do with tip of our nose and our belly button during zazen? If we feel sleepy, learned, scattered, or enlightened, does Keizan have the remedy?? (Yes!) Find out here!

Dave gets topical with a talk on AI from the Zen perspective to see if we can shed any light on what it is, what we should do with it, and whether or not we’re getting that right. Do the robots have any more or less of a self than we do? Is Zen a moral (or amoral…) philosophy? Are we all out of a job, and if so, are we really going to miss it?? Find out here!

Gyokei gives us stories of friendly (and hungry!) ghosts as he explains the meaning and history of Obon, the summer festival of spirits in Japanese Zen. Is it possible to keep dying traditions and communities alive while also letting them go? Has a fish ever remembered to be grateful for water? Do ghosts count as living beings?? Find out here!

Dave loses a good dog friend and gets curious about the sweet and silly human feelings that come up in a week of sweet sorrow. Should monks be having more sex? Is Buddhism trying to cut us off from the most beautiful parts of life? Was Buddha (and California) wrong about the benefits of anger?? Find out here!

Mota gets an unexpected phone call and takes the opportunity to dig into some tough love teachings on change and transiency, and how they might even open us up to something warm and maybe even a little fuzzy. Have we forgotten how to die in this country? Why is Zen oddly good at the idea? Can it help us deal with the odd role reversals that come with parents getting older? Find out here!

Jordan takes a critical look at the benefits of zazen and questions whether that was ever really the point, or even something we should rely on. Can meditation become a form of avoidance? Is the need to feel better just one more attempt to control the world? And if Buddhism is really working why do we still wake up with a brain full of a-hole thoughts and feelings? Find out here!

Sara goes looking for healthy ambitions in certain impermanence as she rests her case on training with a deeply personal breakdown and exegesis of her story/koan of the season - Dasui’s Kalpa Fire. How do we live a life worth living when society, and our own standards, aren’t aligned with our values? Does Zen offer alternative ambitions to aspire to? Is it possible to diagnose our own distress while sitting smack dab in the middle of it?? Find out here!

Dave tells us the full creation myth of how Buddhism says this world came to be, how it’s going to end, and all the mishaps and miracles in between. Has all of this happened before? Is everything we love just a lament for what we lost? Was this whole existence thing really a good idea and is there even such a thing as a true story?? Find out here!!

Sara Campbell closes out our first official training ango with a flash fiction final - a brief loving study of our favorite Buddha and Bodhisattva archetypes.

Dave tackles the big Buddhist question of the hour - are we really learning traditional Buddhism over here or are we making up our own thing and covering it up with a set of appropriated robes? Is it actually a problem if we are (and would it be possible not to)? Are lay people even supposed to be meditating? Is the East/West cultural divide too wide to bridge, or too fascinating not to try?? Find out here!!

Poet in residence and long time ACZC collaborator, Matt, generously boils down 14 billion years of carefully cultivated circumstances into one lucid and spiritually eclectic tale of what he’s doing and why he’s here - from the Zen prone slowness of the South, to the urban chaos of LA, to the sacred solitude of getting lost in foreign lands. Is restlessness a hindrance or a catalyst to personal progress? Can we go off recipe and create our own  practice from whatever ingredients intrigue us? What creative fruits lie waiting for us in the gaps between what we think and what we see?? Find out here!