Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:I was listening to an episode in which you were asked whether Jesus and Mary had sexual desires. And you said they had natural sexual desires, but not lustful desires. The distinction between these two concepts is not obvious to me. I'm wondering if you can elaborate more on what Jesus and Mary experienced in more concrete terms related to sexual desire.My daughter is 29 and identifies as transgender. We are a devout Catholic family, and after an emotionally turbulent time, we now have a relationship with this adult child. Although she no longer practices our faith, she supports our family. My most religious friends and family have been most distant—ignoring birthdays and excluding her—while our secular family and friends have been welcoming and supportive. This contradiction hurts, since I believe God is working in each of our lives. Recently, my daughter told me she stopped taking testosterone, giving me hope that no one's journey is worth giving up on. How come my brothers and sisters in Christ can cut and run so easily? The loss of my daughter's breasts, ovaries, and womb is a deep sadness. It is the body that I washed, diapered, fed, and cuddled. The idea that a doctor had a more fitting design is a lie and a ruse. How come this is considered mutilation, but other cosmetic surgery is not? Someone has a body part they don't like and they change it to a "better look"? Please help me understand this.I'm engaged to a wonderful man and we're getting married soon. I am a virgin; he's not. We have saved sex for marriage throughout our relationship, thanks be to God. I enjoy being affectionate with him by cuddling and kissing, but I am nervous about sex. In fact, I'm a little bit afraid. Is it because this is new to me, or because I grew up in a household where we never talked about these topics except 'don't do it'? Is this something you've come across in your work before? Any advice would be appreciated.Truth & the Lie October 9 LaunchCourse Schedule📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:Last year, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, whom I really believed I was going to marry. One of our struggles was his porn addiction, which sadly led him to abuse his sister. Devastated, I chose to forgive and love him, reasoning that if God forgives us, I should do the same. He even introduced me to TOB. But now I wonder: how can he and his sister heal when she acts like he doesn't exist? How can TOB apply here? I'm angry because I was willing to carry this cross with him, but he didn't fight for us.I went to high school with a woman who I became friends with senior year. At no point in high school were we ever interested in the other. After high school I went to seminary for two years before discerning to leave seminary. I left about 10 months ago, and about one month ago started dating this woman from high school. We both value our friendship, have similar goals and dreams for the future, and take our faith very seriously. I asked her out to see if God could be doing something here, and we're giving it time to see if physical attraction for each other grows through the process. Before asking her out, I found a lot of fear in wondering what others, especially friends from high school who really aren't true friends, would think. Do you have any advice for me?I struggle with feeling like I need to look "physically perfect" in order for a man to like me and to want to enter into a relationship with me. Part of this comes from messages that I've received from my parents since a young age, such as receiving comments when something is out of place or pointing out when something is less than desirable, such as a pimple on my face. In addition to hearing negative comments about other people's weight and physical appearance, a big part of it also stems from hearing that men are more influenced by the physical than women are. Now that I'm pushing 30 and I'm getting more gray hairs, I'm left feeling like no man will desire me now and enter into a relationship with me. On the flip side, I also feel at a loss since there have been men in my life who seek me out for my physical appearance, but then lose interest once they get to know me, leaving me feeling like my personality is lacking. As I age, I'm left feeling like I will have nothing left to attract the husband I so desire, even though some part of me knows cognitively that's not true. Do you have any insight or advice about this from a TOB perspective?THE TRUTH AND THE LIE book pre-order---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:How can you tell if you're looking at someone with lust or with proper reverence? I saw a beautiful woman during mass one day, and I just wanted to look at her and admire her beauty. But I feel like there's a fine line between awe and lust that I can't quite pinpoint. Or another example: for some reason, I find a woman's pregnancy attractive. But am I looking at them just for pleasure or with awe of the fact that they have another life within them? I’m struggling with scrupulosity around marital intimacy and differing opinions among Catholics about what is permissible. I came across a rigorous podcast by a priest imposing strict boundaries using Saint Alphonsus and Saint Thomas Aquinas. His guidelines are much stricter than what most modern theologians teach. I'm confused, afraid, and feel my soul is on the line. As a traditional Catholic, I worry it’s safer to follow the more rigorous opinion, though I’d rather take the simpler, more enjoyable approach. How do I know what is right, approach the marriage bed without fear, and be confident that modern theologians are safe to follow?Just yesterday, I listened to your testimony on the podcast Restore the Glory, where you talked about sexual healing and your growth in loving your wife Wendy better. It was such a blessing for me. While I was listening, I wondered what Wendy's side of the story was, how she lived and felt in those first 10 years of your marriage, how she struggled, how she realized you didn't have a clue, and mostly, how she coped to love you deeply, rightly, and truly, even though she felt immense hunger for your true love. So, Wendy, could you please share your side of the story?Catholic Sexual Ethics Course In PersonCatholic Sexual Ethics Course On-LineRestore the Glory Episode with Christopher Episode 42Restore the Glory Episode with Christopher Episode 43---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:My fiancé and I recently became engaged. I was in the seminary where I wrote my master's thesis on TOB, and my fiancé has also learned about it. We've been trying to live out TOB teachings in our engagement, which has been a true blessing. However, we keep on falling into lust. We've tried all sorts of mechanisms to prevent it, but we keep losing the battle. Lately the burden has become heavier, and it seems we'll never get it right. We're wondering if you might have struggled with something similar in the beginning and what advice you can give.When we profess we believe in the resurrection of the body, we're saying that when Christ returns, we will be reunited, body and soul. I've heard that because of this, Catholics aren't supposed to scatter ashes. If God is omnipotent, why does that matter? What is the difference between ashes being scattered over a lake or bodies decomposing into the soil? It pains me to think someone won't experience resurrection because their family sought closure. Further, does this affect the Catholic stance on donating organs after death or donating your cadaver to medical students?I'm a 26-year-old Catholic. My question is about being single and experiencing sexual desire. Some days, I feel at peace being single, but other days, I deeply long for a husband, sex, and intimacy—to become one flesh and know that I'm loved and wanted. I understand in my head that marriage and sex aren't the ultimate fulfillment, but sometimes that truth falls on a deaf heart. Why would God place such a strong desire in us and ask us to wait, or possibly never experience it? How can I learn to open my heart and trust Him in that tension?THE TRUTH AND THE LIE book pre-orderNational Catholic Bioethics Center---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:In the Theology of the Body, you speak about how the female body reflects God's love through its capacity to receive, nurture, and bring forth life. After a traumatic first C-section, I struggle to understand how this truth applies to my story. Although I later had a second C-section, it's the trauma of that first birth I continue to carry. At times I feel my body failed me and find it difficult to see it as a gift. How can I understand my body through Theology of the Body after this trauma and find healing?I recently read that there's some debate among Catholic theologians on whether contraception in the case of rape is permissible. The source said, after confirming that conception has not yet taken place so as not to inadvertently end the life of a conceived child, contraception can be taken so as to prevent a pregnancy resulting from rape, almost as a form of self-defense. Is this true? I had always thought contraception was intrinsically evil, meaning it is never allowed to be used in any circumstance whatsoever. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it.How can TOB relate to mental disorders? After all, the brain is an organ too, which can suffer from incurable illnesses. For example, I recently learned I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, which leads me to hurt my body through compulsions like scratching and self-punishing. I also struggle with post-traumatic stress symptoms causing unpleasant physical sensations during flashbacks. It is hard enough to see my body as something good, and even harder to love my brain. I feel a tendency to view this as a brain versus body division, and I'm wondering how to live more in the brain-body connection.Fall Course ScheduleEvent ScheduleIgnite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info National Catholic Bioethics Center⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I'm a young man currently discerning the priesthood and applying to enter the seminary next year. For most of my life, I've struggled with lust and masturbation. Even though I'm in control today, I know this is a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life. What is your opinion on day counting or keeping streaks as an additional way of motivating myself to stay pure and chaste? Second, is this journey of growing in chastity for the priesthood perhaps a way for God to actually prepare me for marriage and to treat a future wife rightly and well?I’ve been doing the 33-day consecration to St. Joseph, and I’m on day 13. I’m deeply disturbed by the readings today, especially ones that talk about the virginity of St. Joseph and even the virginity of St. John the Apostle. Somehow, in the entire text, it gives the idea that remaining a virgin is somehow better, more pure, and more chaste than being married and trying for children. I understand why Mary was virgin, at least a little bit now, mostly because of TOB. But the fact that St. Joseph and even St. John the Apostle are virgins simply because it is pure, and God will only give Mary to a virgin, somehow discourages me greatly from performing my marital duties to my husband. Why is being a virgin pure, and marriage not pure?My husband and I have four children, ages six, four, two, and almost nine months. We both work full-time and have always been open to life. But at the moment, we do really feel at capacity. I am still exclusively breastfeeding the baby. We understand the church's teaching on contraception, and we're not using contraception. But I would like to know what the church teaches on sex in a marriage when you do not feel open to life in the season that you're in.Love & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd

Questions answered this episode:1. You talk on your podcast about how a spouse is vast and deep interiorly, using the analogy of deep sea diving. If you commit to exploring that interior life, you'll never be bored. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. Recently, some things from our pre-marriage days came up. That hurt deeply, but helped us grow deeper together. The past seems like the most obvious place to go deep sea diving, but we don't want to constantly hash out past events. How can we apply your analogy to the present and future? What does this practically look like?2. I was recently watching a video of a doctor trying to save a newborn's life since he was not breathing. Someone said in the comments, "That cry was all I wanted to hear." That led me to ask myself: why is crying the first thing we do when we are born? And why is that cry basically vital in order to know the baby's okay? Do you think that has something theological to tell us? Is it like some cry of the heart that's manifested through our body as we come out of our mother's womb?3. I had a vasectomy before I converted, and now would very much like to get it reversed. Obviously, the cost is a huge hurdle, and I understand that you have helped many people find the resources to have this done. I'm wondering how I can achieve this. Thank you in advance, and God bless you for the incredible work that you do.TOB2: Into the Deep Course on August 2-7 2026THE TRUTH AND THE LIE book pre-orderReach out to Michele ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠Click here if you’d like to make a gift to the St. John Paul II Legacy Foundation⁠TOB1 Online + TOB2 in person package.⁠---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:1. I've been married for over 10 years. My spouse and I have a good solid faith filled relationship. Sometimes, however, the thought of having a spiritual director sounds interesting to me. I just wondered what spiritual direction looks like for a married individual. Part of me feels like having a spiritual director would take the place of sharing deep things with my spouse. How can spiritual direction build upon an already solid marriage without detracting from it?2. Does theology the body teach us anything about hunting? I'm an avid deer hunter. I respect the lives of animals. But I also know that God commanded man to have authority and care for the animals, allowing us to eat meat. However, I feel this tug at my heart in regards to hunting that I didn't feel before. I've come to realize that taking the life of an animal can be profound and treated with respect. I've hunted with guys who not feel this respect. They have more of a warlike mentality. Do you have any thoughts for me?3. I'm a licensed clinical social worker working through sexual issues with a client. The wife reports they were taught TOB in college that they should not end the sexual encounter until the wife has an orgasm. The issue is that the encounter is going really long; the husband is becoming frustrated and tired, and the wife will often have a panic attack due to the stress while trying to climax. They are devoutly Catholic and want to follow what the church teaches. What would you tell someone experiencing psychological or emotional distress during the sexual encounter, according to Theology of the Body?TOB1 Online + TOB2 in person package.Ignite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I'm currently dating a good Catholic man. I feel we may be called to marriage, and a deepening of our prayer life together may help us better discern that call. We pray the rosary together every night, which has been a tremendous blessing. But I feel the need to expose my heart in prayer with him in a way that the rosary does not fully allow. I was not raised in a family that prayed aloud, so I'm not sure how to start this practice with him. What are some practical ways dating Catholic couples can deepen their prayer life together?Body is self, inseparable from soul because we are a body-soul composite. Fornication is a real bodily union, which must mean total union of persons. Doesn't union mean self-gift? But I thought real self-gift can only happen in marriage. I thought for a while in fornication it was less of a gift of the body and more like giving access to the body, but that would seem too little in light of 1 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 16: "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, the two will become one flesh."I converted two years ago after listening to your episode, and I've now been married for two months to a wonderful Catholic man. We focused on second virginity, and at first, everything about our marital union was incredible. Then it became difficult for me to reach climax at the same time as him. Even though afterward he tries to help me, I'm not able to, and I end up feeling upset and in pain. It has been very draining and sometimes makes me not want to have sexual relations at all, thinking about the emotional toil and potential pain. Do you have any encouragement for this frustrated wife?TOB2: Into the Deep Course on August 2-7 2026Course Schedule for other coursesThirsting for Prayer by Jacques PhilippeTime for God by Jacques Philippe JPII’s Letter on the Rosary---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:Suppose a couple marries in the Catholic Church but mutually agrees to use contraception initially, intending to have children later. On their wedding night, they engage in marital relations. After seven years, they stop using contraception and have two children. In this situation, would their marriage be considered consummated from the wedding night, even though they were not open to life then, or would consummation occur later when they open themselves to having children? Additionally, if they return to using contraception after their second child, how does this affect the understanding of their marriage's consummation and integrity?My heart aches because I’ve struggled with my body image since youth, fueled by social media and boys rating girls. I don't have those drastic curvy proportions guys find ideal, and I feared I’d never be a man’s first choice. When I met my boyfriend, he made me feel like the only girl in the world, and I finally started loving my body. However, I recently found out he was hiding secret lustful habits. I’m shocked and my past pain is back. How can I ever feel beautiful or get married now? I just want to wear loose clothing and make my body disappear.Is it still important for boys to be circumcised now that Jesus has come to establish the new law? I've heard arguments for both sides, and I'm confused.Pierced by Beauty Mexico RetreatTHE TRUTH AND THE LIE book pre-orderMagnifica Humanitas Forum*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠Good News About Sex & MarriageTHEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK)

Questions answered this episode:I’m engaged and will be married in August 2026. My fiancé and I both have sexual pasts, but we have waited and are continuing to wait to have sex for the first time in marriage. This has been very difficult. My fiancé has gotten frustrated with my response when he is trying to be playfully sexy. I don't want to venture too far down that path as it has gotten us too close to sex in the past. However, he fears that if I'm not open to being playful now, I won't be in marriage either. Truthfully, I don't think I understand what kind of playfulness is appropriate in marriage, and I'm starting to feel pressure to live up to some fantasy when we get married.I've been wrestling with one thing you said about gender and how only men can be priests. The context, from what I recall, was that only men can be priests because the priest is the groom, or is acting as Christ in the mass, who is the groom. That makes the congregation the bride. If women can't be priests because they are women, how can a man be a bride in the congregation?Five years ago, my dad committed suicide. The experience left me in shock, and I still feel that shock today. At the time, I felt the need to be strong for my mom and sister, holding everything together. Now, I sense God is inviting me to revisit this wound and allow myself to grieve more deeply. However, I find it very difficult to access my emotions; I want to cry, but I can't. Recently, through learning more about TOB, I've found myself struggling to understand how to interpret what happened, especially in relation to the dignity of the body and suffering.Pierced by Beauty Mexico RetreatTheology of the Body and Art: The Way of Beauty CourseCourse Schedule for other coursesLitanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry CreteScripture For Your Inner Outcasts Podcast---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:Hi Christopher and Wendy, this is Matt. I wrote previously regarding a season of deep relational pain and sexual brokenness in our marriage. First, we have to share a miracle. The sacrifice you suggested—asking the global community to fast for our healing—brought a new wine of healing and self-giving love that seemed impossible. We're now in a golden hour of intense reconnection. However, as this fire wakes up, we've discovered deeper roots of lustful fantasies. We're committed to total transparency to avoid past secrecy, but we're struggling with the prudence of sharing. How do we navigate total transparency without that sharing becoming over-arousal or fueling the concupiscence we're trying to purify? We aren't sure how to face our desires without being taken by them.My question is about something that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm thinking about transfiguration. If Jesus has always been part of the salvation plan, and always exists, was the true bodily reality of Jesus what the apostles saw that day at the transfiguration? It makes me wonder, did Jesus have a bodily nature before the incarnation and entering into history? How? Or did his complete and true nature begin at that moment in history? Am I understanding it wrong?I'm in my 20s and about to get engaged to a wonderful man. We've been working through your Love and Responsibility series together, which has been a blessing. However, I struggle with vaginismus, mainly traced back to a traumatic experience at the doctor's office when I was 14. I'm starting physical therapy soon, but this is a major place of fear for my future marriage. How do we talk about this appropriately before marriage and work through it together? What advice would you have for us in dealing with this woundedness? How do I heal physically and spiritually to cultivate openness towards the Lord's love and my future spouse?Pierced by Beauty Mexico RetreatTheology of the Body and Art: The Way of Beauty CourseCourse Schedule for other coursesLove & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd

Questions answered this episode:I just wondered about Latin Masses in the Catholic Church. I live in the United States, and no one speaks Latin here, so I wondered what the draw is to go to Latin Masses. It feels like in Catholic circles those who go to Latin Masses are considered more Catholic. If God made our bodies and speaks to us through our bodies, shouldn't it be more helpful to go to a mass that we can understand using our sense of hearing? Or am I just not as far along in my faith life as those who appreciate Latin Mass?My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're both Catholic, but my husband doesn't think I look beautiful unless I wear tight, revealing clothes. We struggle a lot when he suggests I wear something with a lower neckline or that's skin tight. I'm not comfortable wearing stuff like that, but he feels that I'm not trying to be beautiful for him, even if I wear nice, slightly more modest clothes. How can I love my husband and not be hurt by his wanting me to wear more revealing clothes? And how can we find a middle ground here?My wife and I were married outside the Catholic Church. For the past eight years, I've not practiced my faith. However, as of late, I have had a deep and real call back to the church. In some way, my wife was blindsided by this decision, and not thrilled. I've taken a step back from re-entering the church out of fear of conflict between my wife and me. This has made for some serious challenges in our marriage. Is it sinful for us to come together in our nuptial embrace outside of the church where I've found the truth to be? Is our marriage invalid for this same reason?Resources:TOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026Course Schedule for other coursesPierced by Beauty: Encountering God In the Flesh Mexico RetreatLove & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt FraddGood News About Sex & MarriageOur Bodies Tells God's Story Book---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:While meditating on the crucifixion, I wondered why our Lord is not completely nude in art portraying it. My research pointed to reverence for Christ and preserving his dignity, reading that he "voluntarily accepted humiliation, but it need not be perpetuated." While this makes sense, I wonder how to look at this through a TOB lens. Why does it feel irreverent to depict Jesus nude, when other art depicting naked bodies, like in the Sistine Chapel, is praised for showing the beauty of the human body? Is it because of our fallen nature, or is there something more theological I'm missing? As a newlywed, my husband and I just celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary. Six months ago, we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. My postpartum journey was difficult, and we are trying to navigate intimacy in this new stage of life. I especially struggle with a new anxiety, petrified that I will do something wrong and mess up my daughter. This has translated into me showing less attention to my husband. My brain does not seem wired towards the same level of intimacy as before. Also, our daughter's crib is right next to our bed. I am terrified she will wake up, see us in the marital embrace, and it will scare or scar her for life. Any advice?I'm 25, serving full-time in college ministry. One thing I've been terribly afraid to address is when my dad had "the talk." Instead of discussing marriage, he simply said of masturbation, "It's normal and natural, just make sure to clean up after yourself." At 12, this left me with a view of my sexuality akin to pooping—just a natural thing you clean up after. Now, called to marriage, I see the beauty of the theory, but I frustratingly feel grossed out by the reality of the marital embrace. How can I partner with Christ in untwisting this in my heart?Resources:Pierced By Beauty Mexico RetreatTOB I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026Course Schedule for other coursesSlovakia & Slovenia EventEvent Schedule---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode: I hope you can help connect the dots with something stirring in my heart. In your Marian mystery course, you discussed when the Bible mentions Jerusalem, it's ultimately a reference to Mary, and how a woman opening herself to conception participates in Mary's Fiat. Since then, I've suffered eight miscarriages. On Palm Sunday, hearing Jesus was entering Jerusalem, I felt intense pain. Given the Jerusalem-Mary connection, I thought of my children whose innocent bodies faced death in my womb, reflecting on Mary holding her innocent Son's body. Are these connections appropriate? If Jerusalem represents Mary, why did Jesus enter there to die? How do we connect this to the hope of resurrected life?I've recently come across a couple conservative Protestant guys, one a pastor, arguing in favor of polygamy—specifically, polygyny. It got me thinking about why we no longer practice this. They're not arguing to make it standard, but rather to allow it as one of three moral options for some people, alongside celibacy or traditional monogamous marriage. One argument they made is that God never changes. Since saints in the Old Testament practiced this, they argue it is not intrinsically sinful like homosexuality. I realize polygamy can lend itself to a lot of abuse. But, could there be situations where it could be a legitimate God honoring option? If not, why not and is polygamy sinful?I'm a 31-year-old single woman. Is it sinful to wonder what it would be like to be a man? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a woman. However, it's easy to get frustrated dealing with a monthly period, pain, and PMS. Half of each month feels thrown out of whack, and sometimes I think it would be easier to be a man. I don't want to change my body or gender; I just get frustrated. A friend said these difficulties make us stronger—is she onto something? I pray thanking God for how I was made, but I don't feel all that thankful. Do you have advice?Resources:Slovakia & Slovenia EventMike Mangione, director of events contact: [email protected] I Course: Head & Heart Immersion - Summer of 2026---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:In my previous relationship, we were trying to abstain from sex. I knew he was watching porn and working on that too. A week after breaking up, he started sleeping with someone else and since has been sleeping with many people. Word that I don't care to hear spreads quickly in a small town. I'm trying to identify the lie from the enemy in this. Right now, I just know that it hurts very deeply. I'm also trying to find the truth in all this pain.My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Early on, we discussed physical boundaries. I shared that kissing with the intention of increasing arousal crosses a line for me, while he felt anything short of sex was acceptable. A few times I've pulled away because the kissing becomes too arousing. This causes him to shut down and get hurt, feeling he has done something wrong. Now, his response is to show barely any physical affection. How can I navigate this in a way that honors our boundaries without hurting him or falling into lust? I'm a 27-year-old man who has struggled with same-sex attraction my entire life. In recent years, I've gained control over my desires through inner healing, dedicating time to embracing my masculine identity and building good male friendships. Listening to your podcast, I realized navigating my disoriented attractions is not about repressing my eros out of shame, but asking God for more—that He might help me see the true beauty in all things, even women. I sometimes entertain fantasies of women, seeking companionship and human connection. I enjoy these because they seem more ordered than my desires for the same sex. I'm not sure if this is what it means to expand my eros.Resources:TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026Course ScheduleGood News About Sex & MarriageLove & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt FraddSexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube VideoFill These HeartsTHEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK)⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠John Paul II Healing Center EventsDesert Stream MinistriesAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:“I cry every Christmas season when I reflect on the baby Jesus. Like if I imagine myself holding him. And it's not just at Christmas, I've also cried during Advent, Lent, Holy Week, especially the Easter Vigil, Easter Sunday, and Pentecost Sunday. Sometimes I cry more than the prophet Jeremiah. Do you think I'm experiencing the gift of tears or just something else entirely?”"I feel passionately about living out the teachings of Theology of the Body in my life and future marriage. I’m finding a dilemma that many men, Catholic men, want to break off a relationship when they find out I don’t want to have sex or engage in any acts where orgasms are sought separate from sex open to life in marriage. I’ve tried to explain it is about making love and loving one another in the way God loves. But I haven’t been able to get any man to see the beauty and desire this with me, and I’m starting to get discouraged. I’m trusting in God’s plan, but I’m finding temptation to put up with occasional sin in my marriage, hoping that the holy sex will change the man’s heart one day. Can you give me advice?"“I feel heartbroken. I found out that my boyfriend's pornography use and social media lust, which I previously thought was in the past, had relapsed and continued throughout our relationship for years without me knowing. He has now stopped and is almost free of this issue. What can I do to make this pain go away? I feel sad to think of him looking at other women that way. How can I still feel like our marriage will be special in that way, if while he was dating me, he chose to look at other women without me knowing? I just want this pain to go away so I can move forward in our relationship without feeling like I won't be enough for him or comparing myself to these women."Resources:TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026Course ScheduleIgnite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I want to fully understand Theology of the Body but struggle due to a history with porn addiction. Exposed at 13, I fell away from the Church and entered an ill-advised marriage where porn use was encouraged, ending in divorce. Now, by the grace of God, it’s been several months since I’ve slipped. Resources like the Matt Fradd show, Internal Family Systems, and Covenant Eyes have helped immensely. I’ve met an amazing woman, but when I told her about my addiction, she expressed concern that I haven't done enough to address it. How do I know if I’ve done enough? What resources would you recommend?My fiancé and I have been discerning swim modesty, particularly for men. I love swimming and see many modest options for women, but what about men? I felt like seeing my fiancé without his shirt for the first time was a big deal, as a level of nakedness would be revealed that hadn’t been before. We discerned him wearing a swim shirt, as I want to wait to see this nakedness until marriage. He has struggled with it, and I didn't want to force it. Should men have a level of modesty and cover up while swimming, or is it modest for men to swim shirtless since that’s acceptable in our culture?Are there any feminine hygiene products that are not acceptable? Tampons are required to go into the body, and menstrual cups or disks even require a woman to actually reach her hand up her vagina to insert and to remove. This feels a little bit like the line towards masturbation is being pushed.Resources:Way of Beauty Course with Bill DonaghyCourse ScheduleFreedom CoachingTOB Institute StoreJohn Paul II Healing CenterDesert Stream Ministries---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I have a question about Second Chronicles, chapter seven, verse fourteen, which says: 'If my people, who are called by my name, humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' My question is: how do we seek God’s face? I hear it all the time, but I’m not sure exactly how to do it. Is it through adoration, reading scripture, or sitting silently in His presence?"My wife and I have been married for 11 years with six children. Before we met, she had a four-year romantic relationship that was not chastened. Through the Lord’s work, we lived a call to chastity in our engagement and marriage. While there has been healing from her past wounds, we realize more is needed. When we married, my wife was shocked that she had less desire for sex than in her previous relationship. We also struggle for her to reach climax, which wasn't a problem then. This leaves me feeling unworthy, incapable, and unloved, despite her deep love for me. We’ve tried applying Theology of the Body to our struggle, but we don’t know how.Can you talk about lingerie or cute short dresses only used within the privacy of a husband and wife in Catholic teaching? I always thought about it as something beautiful that looks good and that I would love to wear, but not outside—something that my husband could enjoy between us privately. I’m worried it is not good to wear anything ‘sexy’ or short, flattering on the body, and clearly inviting even for your husband. I don’t know if this is scrupulosity or fear that it will be bad for our marriage, for him, or for me. For context, I’m not married yet but soon will be and I’m preparing excitedly.Resources:Nacho Libre VideoTOB1 CourseCourse ScheduleLingerie PodcastAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:As a teacher of Theology of the Body, I was presented with a picture of Pope John Paul II by a former student. Before seeing it, I hoped for an image of his younger, energetic self—skiing, hiking, or writing. However, it was a close-up of him as an elderly man, hunched in a chair. I felt a wave of disappointment, realizing I struggle to see the beauty in the entirety of life and the aging body. I know I have healing to do in my heart; how do I begin to see the whole life cycle as a gift?As a single woman, is it wrong to have sexual desires? I don’t think about men lustfully; it’s more of a deep ache to be loved, married, and have sex. At random times, I wish I had someone to hold, caress, and embrace in the marital act. My body also shows physical signs of arousal, especially during certain times in my cycle—perhaps God’s way of giving me a foretaste of the New Jerusalem. I’ve tried offering my desires to God in prayer, but I still feel this ache in my heart and body. I am 60 years old and have been a widow for eight years. My husband and I were looking forward to a new chapter of intimacy after our children moved out, but then he died. In my anger and grief, I invited a deviant sexual spirit upon myself, feeling it was ridiculous to live without sex or marriage at my age. Though I have since repented, I feel heartbroken and betrayed by God. I feel I was created to be a wife, yet I am exhausted from being alone with no mate in sight. I simply want to know: why?---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠Resources:⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠Love & Responsibility YouTube Series

Questions answered this episode:I’m a first-time mom to an almost six-month-old, and motherhood is both the most beautiful and difficult thing I’ve ever done. I struggle with knowing what it means to lay down my life as a parent. In other relationships, we’re taught to set healthy boundaries and ensure our needs are met, but in motherhood, even my basic needs—sleep, exercise, seeing friends—feel like sacrifices. The other night, a failed attempt at extra sleep left me frustrated with God, my baby, my husband, and myself for not sacrificing more joyfully. I genuinely love my daughter, but how do I truly learn to joyfully surrender? Why does the Lord ask so much of me?I know Christopher has mentioned in the past that music and movies can be a pathway to feeling the Lord’s love and grace. But what about movies and music that are vulgar or sexually explicit? Is this holy in its own way, or is it something that should be avoided?In a YouTube video, I heard Christopher distinguish between "being gay" and experiencing same-sex attraction. I began to understand that my sexual dimension doesn't define my whole person, yet that "something more" has become invisible due to pornography. I mostly feel desire, longing, and conflict. I felt that if I fought my inclinations, there would be nothing left of me; need for love and pleasure became so intertwined I couldn't distinguish them. I viewed my lack of a physical partner as proof I’m unworthy of love. After much pain, I’m asking if there’s another way to fill this void—one that seeks deep, soulful closeness rather than just pleasure.Resources:U2 Scars SongCourse Schedule---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:In Matthew 5:30, Jesus says, 'And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you...' In the spirit of the theology of the body, the idea of cutting off one's own hand seems like a gross insult to God's image in which we are made. I can understand amputation for medical reasons, but I cannot help but think that sin is a matter of will, so no kind of concupiscence could merit amputation. But in believing that, I would seem to be going against Christ's guidance here. How are we to understand this commission to go so far as to irrevocably alter the body in service of mitigating concupiscence?I struggle to believe that I can be loved because of the way I look. Growing up, I'm told that no man will ever love me because I'm fat and that in order to be lovable I have to be skinny. I was diagnosed with PCOS, which explains the uncontrollable weight gain. I do my best to take care of myself but my body does not lose weight so easily. Recently, there has been a guy who has been flirting with me, but I have a hard time believing he's interested because how can someone love me looking the way I look? I don't know what to do or how to change my concept of myself.Why is Mary called Stella Maris?Resources:Discerning Marriage Podcast with Elizabeth BusbyAre you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning Marriage⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages

Questions answered this episode:I came into the Church about three years ago, and my fiancé is entering this Easter. He quickly came to know Mary, but it has been taking me some time. I buy her flowers and pray the Rosary, but I don’t seem to connect with her. In John, Jesus says, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' Yet there is the saying 'to Jesus through Mary.' How can I know her?"The girl who I thought I would marry had suddenly broken up with me. I'm happy to report that the Lord's healing has been present, and He has worked a lot of good in my heart. However, I find that my romantic desire is seemingly broken. After two or three dates, I feel like my heart just gives out. Like a battery in a TV remote—it comes back on for a little while and then it goes back out. How can I cultivate eros again? I know that I’m supposed to feel it.My husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I am now navigating perimenopause and have been diagnosed with potentially dangerous ovarian cysts, adenomyosis and endometriosis. Doctors have suggested medically inducing menopause to stop ovarian function and potentially stop the progression of these conditions. My husband made the remark that inducing menopause artificially is a way of making me intentionally sterile. I am now torn by the idea that I would be committing mortal sin.Resources:🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:Growing up, my mom has always talked poorly about her body. As a kid, I remember her asking my dad if other women were attractive and making demeaning comments about women who weighed more than her. Now I’m engaged, and as she chooses a dress, she keeps saying she’ll lose 10 pounds and worries because my future mother-in-law is thinner. She didn’t have parents who delighted in her and often seeks reassurance from us. Should I keep saying, “You’re beautiful,” or is there something better I could say?My wife and I just found out we’re pregnant with our third baby—only four months after our second—and we’re only 25. We’ve worked with NFP coaches and followed different methods, yet here we are. We would have chosen abstinence if we knew it wouldn’t work, but it’s too late now. I feel anxious and ashamed, like I didn’t sacrifice enough. People around us don’t understand this lifestyle, and I feel tempted to hide the pregnancy. How do I talk to others about this, and how do I embrace this child with love?I struggle with the idea of Jesus as the bridegroom. I’ve heard you talk about it, but I still don’t understand. In one episode, a woman in abusive marriages longed for Jesus instead, and you said she could offer her suffering for others. I don’t know her situation, but the Church teaches against divorce, so how does that fit? Isn’t marriage about leading your spouse to heaven? I also struggle with the idea of not being married in heaven. I don’t want to offend God—I just don’t understand.Resources:Course Schedule⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode: Is there any insight through the lens of theology of the body as to why God gave male humans and male mammals nipples? It has always baffled me.When I was 14, I watched the first person I ever loved choose my best friend instead of me, right in front of my eyes. This event seared into my body a story, or perhaps a lie, which is: the most beautiful one will never choose me. Since then, I've been obsessed with finding the perfect girl and somehow convincing her to love me. As you can imagine, this has led to several failed dating relationships that all followed the same pattern of initial infatuation, disillusionment, and finally separation. I recently went back to confession for the first time in several years, and after telling the priest this story, he counseled me to meditate on the doctrine of election—that God, the most beautiful one, has already chosen me. I am so thankful for God's love, but I can't help feeling it is insufficient to meet this need and heal my wound. After all, didn't God choose me purely out of His own grace and love rather than because of anything in me that was desirable or beautiful? How then can I trust that I am worthy of love?As a disciple of Christ, I feel a desire to take his call to evangelize more seriously. I love my faith and want others to taste and see its beauty too. However, I’m not sure of the best approach. I have some secular coworkers, and the lifestyle they talk about seems so out of touch with the gospel. I’m not sure how to relate it to them without coming across as a goody-two-shoes. How can I go about spreading the word in situations such as those and shining the light of Christ?Resources:The Ballad of Wallis Island TrailerCourse Schedule🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:You often say the cross is the marriage bed. If Jesus took on all suffering there, can embracing our own suffering be a marital act? When we accept daily sufferings—from trauma to small annoyances—does that become, bluntly, a kind of spiritual intercourse? What would that mean practically? I’d love your thoughts.My husband and I have been married three years and have never climaxed at the same time. I feel frustrated and even scrupulous about it. I’ve heard that simultaneous climax is ideal, but I don’t understand how that’s physically possible. When I’m left unsatisfied after my husband finishes, I worry it’s sinful for him to help me climax afterward. How can we pursue mutual climax without becoming scrupulous or overly technical?I’m almost 33 and have been with my boyfriend for five years. We’ve grown deeply in faith, and he’s a wonderful Catholic man. I long for marriage and children, but I’m stuck discerning whether he’s the one. I’ve prayed fervently, gone to adoration, and tried to surrender my anxieties to God, yet I feel no clarity. Time feels like it’s running out, and he’s patiently waiting. How do I truly hear God’s voice in such a big decision? Resources:Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTubeCourse Schedule---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I understand that the only place for a man’s seed is the woman’s garden, but what about during pregnancy? Since it’s not possible for the couple to conceive another child, I’m not sure if or why it would matter.I’ve always had a special devotion to Jesus in the Eucharist and knew from a young age that it is truly His body, blood, soul, and divinity. I receive Him with great joy, awe, and delight, but sometimes after Communion I feel an ache in my heart for an earthly spouse. By God’s grace, I’ve remained chaste for 38 years and would joyfully give my virginity to my future spouse if God wills marriage. Why might this desire arise after receiving the Eucharist?My fiancé and I were taking one of our pre-Cana classes together when the topic of sexual intimacy in the past came up. I asked if he had ever had sex, assuming that because we’re both Catholic, we had both saved ourselves for marriage. He told me he had sex with several women in his past, deeply regrets it, and is now re-waiting for marriage with me. This broke my heart, and I’m still healing. How can I regain trust and heal from this?Resources:⁠Event Schedule⁠⁠Good News About Sex & Marriage⁠---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠⁠---⁠Submit you question here!⁠---🎟️ ⁠Event Schedule⁠📚 ⁠⁠⁠Course Schedule⁠🏔️ ⁠Pilgrimages⁠🧠 ⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:A man in his 50s had a vasectomy years ago and, after a conversion, is now discerning marriage with a Catholic woman of childbearing age. Must he attempt a reversal for the marriage to be valid? If it’s possible and not life-threatening, should he try to restore his generative power? If it fails and he remains sterile, that wouldn’t invalidate the marriage if she knows. But if he refuses to consider reversal, is he excluding the procreative meaning of marriage? Can fear of risks justify not attempting it?The Catholic Church teaches that Mary was a perpetual virgin. The Church also teaches that a man and woman are not truly married until the marriage has been consummated. So how can we call Joseph the spouse of Mary if their marriage wasn’t consummated, and why is it important that Mary remains a virgin?My roommate, who is Catholic, just told me she’s moving because she’s dating a woman. I had no idea she’s been experiencing same-sex attraction for years. She said she’s talked with the Lord and doesn’t feel He’s telling her this is wrong. She’s not looking for guidance in resisting it or open to correction. How do I love and support her without compromising my beliefs? She asked me not to tell anyone, but I feel very alone and troubled. Will she keep going to Mass? Would she receive the Eucharist? Why does she feel such a deep connection and love with this woman?Resources:Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher Course ScheduleVasectomy ReversalsAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:How do you put into words what a soul is, especially when explaining it to a child in light of theology of the body—that our bodies and souls are both important and are meant to be together in heaven one day?I struggle with premature ejaculation and, despite years of sincere effort in marriage, haven’t found a real solution. I want to be a true gift to my wife, but this makes it hard for her to reach climax and leaves me ashamed, even though she’s loving and supportive. Most advice is secular and recommends “edging,” which feels morally wrong. I’m stuck between wanting help and staying faithful to Church teaching. Are there faithful resources or approaches you’d recommend?I’m a sophomore who recently ended my first relationship with a Catholic convert I met at the Newman Center. After two painful months, he broke up with me, taking the blame and telling me to pray. Since then, daily Mass and prayer have changed my heart. I realize I made him an idol and have surrendered this to God. I feel called to apologize and try again, but he asked for time. Should I move on or risk rejection and seek his forgiveness?Resources:Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTubeWord Made Fresh Podcast on SpotifyVideo: What It Means to Love God With "All Your Soul"---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode: I am a single man in my twenties and have committed to reserving sex for marriage. People often try to dissuade me by bringing up “sexual compatibility,” telling stories of couples who waited and later divorced because they weren’t compatible in the marriage bed. I struggle to respond since I can’t speak from experience about what sexual compatibility or good sex really means. My gut tells me there’s something selfish in this reasoning, yet every married couple hopes sexual intimacy will be wonderful for both spouses. So what is sexual compatibility, and is it really possible for a man and woman to be sexually incompatible? I am a young woman with a fantastic boyfriend. When we kiss, it usually lasts for only a second, but I’ve found myself wanting a kiss from him that is longer and more intimate. I also have this desire when it comes to being held by him or cuddling. Thankfully, we both love theology of the body and desire to grow in chastity in our relationship, but I’m not sure how prudent these desires are because I don’t want to use him for physical pleasure. Is it okay for me to want these things from him even though we aren’t married? Can they be done in a chaste way? Having had unchaste experiences with men I’ve dated in the past makes me feel as though I’d be tainting my current relationship by doing these things, and the feelings that arise feel more like lust and crossing a boundary. I recently came across your work and have been listening to your podcasts and interviews incessantly. It is truly life-changing material. You’ve referenced a few times a retreat where a priest asked you to perform various exercises to help stir up your desires so that you could really learn how to pray. What were those exercises? I haven’t been able to find them through all the listening I’ve been doing.Resources:Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTubeWord Made Fresh Podcast on SpotifyColorado Ski Retreat with Christopher ---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:I have been a consecrated man for 40 years. Through theology of the body, I came to understand that my masculinity was not denied by my vow of chastity, but lived in another way. I learned to integrate natural bodily movements and the struggle for purity into my path of sanctification. Recently, due to age, these experiences have largely disappeared. I feel I now have less struggle and less of a felt experience of my masculinity. My testosterone levels have decreased, which brings sadness. Does this suffering make sense, and should I try to restore my testosterone to offer my virility to God as self-gift? My boyfriend and I have dated for a year, and the topic of pornography has never really been discussed. I have no reason to believe that he currently watches, but I’m finding more and more that I need reassurance that this is not a potential threat to our sweet relationship. Would it be out of place for me to ask my boyfriend if he has watched or still watches porn? It feels so critical and unkind to ask him such a question. Do you have any suggestions on how I should approach this conversation? I am currently dating a wonderful girl, and we have both been raised extremely well in the faith and theology of the body. We were talking about the beauty of reserving sex for marriage, and she mentioned that she has never felt the desire for sex once in her life. I was a bit shocked by this. Is that something that will grow as we continue to progress toward marriage in a holy way, or does that mean she will never have the natural human desire for sexual union in the marital act? I’m just worried about how that may affect a marriage. What is your thought?Resources:Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher Course ScheduleAre you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning Marriage ---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:About 10 years ago, my husband and I rushed into a vasectomy after my third child in 3.5 years and intense anxiety/depression. I wasn’t in favor, but agreed thinking he’d reverse it if we wanted more kids—then I learned he never intended to. For eight years I felt despair and our union felt unrepairable. In recent years, Christ has healed me, and discovering TOB helped transform my husband’s heart; he’s apologized and wishes he could take it back. But he fears reversal because of painful complications. Should I ask him to reverse it for me, or leave it up to him? How does this relate to TOB’s “special responsibility” of the man to reestablish the balance of the gift?My question is about where the marriage imagery of Christ and the Church can fall short. Sometimes I find it hard to love God when I know that if I don’t, He has the power and authority to cast me into hell, and if this were a relationship between two sinners, it might seem abusive for one spouse to punish the other for lack of loyalty. Ezekiel 16 portrays God doing this in a spousal context, and it deeply troubles me. When I struggle with this, I shy away from Christ as Bridegroom and turn to other analogies, like Him as the vine. Can you shed some TOB light on this?I’ve been in a relationship for four years. We’re both believing Christians and try to live our relationship in the light of theology of the body, but lately we’re struggling with physical affection—never knowing what is too much or what is healthy since we’re not married. We’ve talked a lot, and it seems I’m having a harder time than he is. My problem is that I often find myself troubled after the fact. I’d really appreciate some advice.Resources:Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher [email protected] Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:Recently I had mole excision surgery that led me into some unexpected reflection through a TOB lens. I was awake with only local anesthesia and watched the doctor use a scalpel to cut into my skin. Seeing the blood flow out made me lightheaded and nauseous, and I wondered why many people feel queasy at the sight of blood. In TOB terms, is this like “your seed belongs in her garden”? Might blood also feel like something that belongs inside the body? How does this connect to Christ’s Sacred Heart being pierced and his blood poured out for us—and why don’t medical professionals react this way?I’ve been listening to an introduction to theology of the body you gave, and my heart is stirred with a desire for all the beauty and goodness that is offered to us through the truth of our bodies. I can’t help but wonder as I listen how this truth of what is intended for our bodies applies to those who experience unusual circumstances such as infertility, reproductive disorders, or illnesses, and the smaller percentage who are born with physical abnormalities that affect their sexual or reproductive organs. How does the ideal of the theology of the body reconcile with these natural realities?My husband and I have been married for 38 years. I came into marriage with insecurities and abandonment wounds—my father died when I was 3, my mother never remarried, and my older siblings left home after marrying. My husband’s love language is touch and quality time, and he didn’t receive much of either from his parents. Because of our woundedness, we had immoral patterns in our marriage—dressing inappropriately and spending at least 10 years going to nudist resorts. I’m further on my journey through counseling and our Catholic faith, but I’m not sure where he is. I feel pressured when he comments on my body, stares, and wants us naked at home. What steps can I take to have a healthier response to my husband?Resources:Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher ---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:I’m experiencing my third very early miscarriage, and I’m having a lot of difficult feelings because the loss is so early. I never saw a doctor to confirm pregnancy—just a few days of faint positive tests that never got darker and eventually turned negative—and I’m dreading the coming bloodshed. I’m struggling with feeling like I shouldn’t grieve; I know life begins at conception, but I’m confused, and it feels unfair to people with “real” miscarriages. My husband doesn’t really understand, and I feel alone with two toddlers. Any insight appreciated.I understand God gave us sexuality as a gift, making us sexual beings. If he knew we’d be tempted to misuse it, why didn’t he make it so we’d be attracted to beauty but not feel sexual desire until after vows in the sacrament of marriage? Since that’s not how he designed it—and many look forward to that day—how do we look forward without unchaste thoughts or fantasies? My love language is touch, and I ache to be held, but my yearning slips into fantasies and then self-abuse. Any encouragement or advice would be welcome.Why did the apostles not recognize Jesus after the resurrection?Resources:Sexual Integration CourseColorado Ski Retreat with Christopher Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–My wife and I have been married almost 1.5 years and we just had our first daughter 2.5 months ago. One challenge we’re struggling to discern is that my younger brother is transitioning from male to female and calling himself “Auntie” in front of my daughter. I love my brother dearly, and this has been a long journey tied to brokenness I and others caused when he was younger. We want to raise our daughter in the truth of God’s plan for sexuality while still loving my brother well. What language and approach would you recommend?My mother is nearing the end of a six-year battle with a very rare condition that is eating away at her body. My father continues to struggle with the “why” behind this suffering, crying out, “Why would God allow this?”I’m a student midwife, and sometimes my faith comes up with my teachers and the other students. They often ask me questions about chastity, and I always try to explain it in the light of Theology of the Body, but I find it so hard when the other person has never heard of it. Do you have some ideas for how I could start—and keep going—on with those conversations?Resources:Course ScheduleColorado Ski Retreat with Christopher Good News About Sex & MarriageMale, Female, Other? : A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender by Jason EvertLove & Responsibility YouTube SeriesDonate to the JPII Legacy FoundationJPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode: St. John Paul talks about woman being master of her own mystery—how a man must stand at the door and knock, then wait for her to open, even in marriage, respecting her right to reject his advances to the marital embrace. In light of this, how do we understand 1 Corinthians 7:4–5 (“the wife does not rule over her own body… Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement…”)? What does this mean? It seems to contradict JP2. I’ve also heard it used against NFP—how can I understand it in light of TOB and the Church’s teaching?How do you handle sharing Theology of the Body in the current context, where our own leaders in the Church seem to more and more embrace the way of the world? Can you give advice on ways to share and teach the TOB message within our own diocese in this context—especially when facing barriers from our own priests and bishops?I’m a happily married man in my early 60s. I had a vasectomy in my 20s after our third child, became Catholic in my 50s, and deeply regretted what I’d done to my body. I’ve gathered that when I make love to my wife it isn’t considered a truly marital act because my body is in a contraceptive state—even though she’s past menopause and cannot conceive. I’ve considered reversal, but I can’t afford it and I’m told it’s unlikely to work at my age; my non-Catholic wife isn’t supportive. Have you any consoling thoughts?Resources:Colorado Ski Retreat with ChristopherGood News About Sex & MarriageIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠Donate to the JPII Legacy FoundationJPII Legacy Foundation Website---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:I am a theology teacher of high school students at a Catholic school. How do I joyfully proclaim Theology of the Body—or any Church teaching—when my students look like the walking dead? A coworker calls them spiritually dead. They don’t seem to care and they fall asleep in class. Satan has used all of that to make me question whether I’m in the right career. I think, if I was truly called, my students’ faith would come alive. How can I share this beautiful message with anyone who seems spiritually dead?At age 60, I’m no longer interested in the marital act, and it is most painful and unpleasant—therefore, not happening. I am TOB savvy and preach it to everyone, but I’m not living it. I know the marital act rocks my husband’s world, but I cannot tolerate it. I’ve had medical procedures contributing to the unpleasantness. I probably should seek medical attention, but would rather not.I am a priest and a religious. Throughout my formation, the emphasis was mostly on the challenging, sacrificial dimension of celibacy, but TOB has brought joy into living it. Celibacy feels like a continual discovery of God’s closeness and of living with the people entrusted to me. But I don’t know whether this fulfillment brings joy to the parts of me that desire a deeper, more personal gaze—and whether that gaze is reserved only for God. I’m not sure if I’m loved for my vocation or if I, Andrea, am worthy of love as a person. Can you help me understand this?Resources:JPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteDonate to the JPII Legacy FoundationColorado Ski Retreat with ChristopherWritings of JPII Course LinkTOB at the Movies eBookLitanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry CreteFr. John Cihak’s Article---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–Questions answered this episode:There are many stories of Catholic men who experience same-sex attraction and go on to marry and have families, even though their predominant attraction remains toward men. Many encourage others not to dismiss marriage before exploring whether God could be calling them to it. I’m honestly confused. Would it be right for me to pursue a relationship with a woman without being attracted to her, without longing to share in the marital embrace? Some say attraction to their wives arose later in dating, but it doesn’t seem right to start a romantic relationship without attraction.I’ve been struggling for many months with the sexual past of my boyfriend. It’s been really difficult not to take it personally—feeling deeply hurt and offended that he didn’t wait for me, even though we didn’t know one another when those things occurred. He is now committed to living chastely after realizing that fornication was unfulfilling and a lie, thanks be to God. How can I place the proper weight on his past without taking it personally in a way that sabotages the beautiful relationship we’ve built?I converted to the Catholic faith 7 years ago from an atheistic background. From my parents I have a strong inclination to be a perfectionist, even during the marital embrace. I’m anxious not to fail, and I often think I will be a failure if we don’t get 3 children. We have 2 on earth and 1 in heaven. I feel unworthy compared with traditional huge Catholic families. How can I get rid of this anxiety and be free?Resources:Colorado Ski Retreat with ChristopherSexual Integration & Redemption CourseAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I love marriage and my wife, but we’re facing our biggest challenge: understanding sex and its rightful place. We stayed chaste before marriage; I was a virgin and she’d been abstinent for years. I desire union daily, and while she enjoys our intimacy, she doesn’t need it as often, though she still wants affection. We’re trying to discern how often sex should happen within God’s plan. She fears being used because of past wounds, and I fear rejection when she’s not ready. I worry her “no” means I’ve failed her. Since marrying, sex dominates my thoughts, and it’s becoming a burden.About ten years ago, at 45, I learned I carry a genetic marker for several cancers. Two of my sisters with the same marker developed endometrial and ovarian cancer. I later became a breast cancer survivor, another cancer on the list. My doctor told me there’s no good screening for ovarian cancer and strongly urged a hysterectomy, since pregnancy was unlikely and ovarian cancer is often detected too late. I chose the hysterectomy to prevent cancer, not pregnancy. But after studying Theology of the Body, I’m questioning that decision. What does the Church teach in a case like mine?My wife and I had two miscarriages this year, and the pain has been deep. She is angry with God, and I realized I repressed my own grief until recently. Now I often fight back tears and long for our two children. We keep asking God why. I can’t imagine how this suffering could be glorified here. Are some sufferings only understood in heaven? I also wonder whether physical imperfections like illness or miscarriage are God’s doing or simply consequences of human freedom. I doubt whether prayer can change anything, yet I still love God even as I struggle with doubts about His omnipotence.Resources:JPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteDonate to the JPII Legacy FoundationCourse ScheduleAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I’d like your opinion on popular songs that celebrate the pleasures of sexual union, like that Marvin Gaye song. Can their meaning—or the passions they stir—be redeemed within marriage? It seems many of these songs aren’t good in most contexts, especially those that objectify people. But are some of them acceptable for married couples to listen to privately, if the lyrics don’t violate the personalistic norm and actually draw one’s mind to the joy of union with one’s spouse? I’d love to hear your thoughts.I’m engaged, and after 1.5 years together we’ve had ongoing difficulties. My fiancé has a very strong desire for union with me—not just sexually, but in living together and loving without limits. His desire is so strong that he becomes deeply frustrated by the limits of a premarital relationship, and he grows distant when that frustration hits. He even says it pains him to be with me. His distance makes me hesitant to marry him. It feels unnatural that Eros could be so strong it can’t endure normal premarital boundaries, and it scares me. Is this normal?I’m a young Catholic woman still in love with a man I met in high school. Back then I felt something spiritual between us—a quiet sense of God saying, “Behold your husband.” He was the first person I ever saw receive the Eucharist kneeling and on the tongue, and it struck me deeply. Though we never acted on anything, seven years later my feelings remain, even though he’s dating someone else and has made choices against his faith. I pray for him daily, but I’m torn: do these prayers honor God, or keep me stuck? Should I keep praying for him or prepare my heart for the husband God intends?Resources:JPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteDonate to the JPII Legacy FoundationEvent ScheduleAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I’m a 24-year-old single woman who has never dated. I want to be married, but it’s a passive desire—I’m content and open if something comes my way. I don’t ache for marriage the way others do, and I don’t feel called to chase it. People tell me I’m wasting my twenties and question if I even want a family. I do want marriage, just no one has interested me yet. I don’t think God is asking me to hunt for a spouse. Does that make sense, or am I being foolish?My husband and I have used NFP for 20 years, but during my fertile times he tempts me daily for intimacy. I resist for a few days but usually cave once a month, leading to intercourse where only I climax. It’s very hard to stop, and I’m always the one trying, which leaves me feeling guilty. I love our intimacy but resent his lack of restraint. A priest once told me confessing this monthly means it’s mortal sin, but I can’t find why. Can you shed light on this?I struggle with unwanted arousal around my fiancée—holding hands, hugging, sitting close, even certain voice inflections. Sometimes there’s slight discharge without erection or intent. I feel terrible afterward and replay everything to see if I consented. A priest and therapist have both told me it’s natural and I lack culpability, but I still worry because I’ve read that near-complete pleasure can be gravely sinful. I’m trying to understand if these involuntary reactions are sinful. Please help a confused brother in Christ.Resources:⁠⁠Course ScheduleJPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteGood News About Sex & MarriageLove & Responsibility YouTube Series---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode: Right now, I'm learning about cycles and fertility using the Creighton method. One main point is that the man is always fertile while the woman is infertile most of the time. I’m wondering if there’s a theology behind that—especially since the man typically initiates and is constantly fertile. What do you think is the significance of this?I'm dating and love your podcast. I'm in a serious relationship but still in college, so marriage is likely two years away. When do you recommend reading Good News About Sex and Marriage? I viewed pornography in early high school but, with God’s grace, have been free for years. Still, twisted ideas about sexuality linger. I long for God’s truth—could reading these sources bring healing and help untwist what remains twisted in me?I feel like modesty conversations are objectifying. Why talk about me as if I’m just pieces to cover? Secular friends see me as a whole person, but religious people seem to see only skin. You say there are no abstract breasts, yet I’m told to cover mine because they “distract” from me—even though they are me. If the body isn’t bad, why hide it? If others can look purely, why must I be my brother’s keeper? Can’t we stop sexualizing everything instead of keeping it taboo?Resources:Course ScheduleJPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteGood News About Sex & MarriageAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I admire my Catholic family, but I struggle to receive advice from my parents. I’m academically gifted and study philosophy, theology, and psychology of relationships, while they don’t share my passion for ideas. When they give advice, I often think, “I’ve already considered that,” or, “There’s a deeper understanding.” I know their long marriage brings wisdom, but I don’t always appreciate it. What insight can you offer from your own experience about respecting and learning from parental wisdom in relationships?Can male climax occur outside the womb if the couple intends to climax in the womb immediately afterward? I’m curious about how this aligns with Theology of the Body and marital intimacy.I’m writing about Christ as bridegroom in every Christian’s life. I understand it in religious or consecrated life, but how does it apply to married people? Are there resources, including John Paul II, that discuss this? How should non-consecrated Christians live out this reality in prayer and daily life?Resources:Course ScheduleMulieris Dignitatem Document---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I’ve been married for almost 25 years. My husband has been verbally abusive and sexually misused me, though we’re now on a path of healing and reconciliation. Because of the deep wounds, I haven’t been able to have sex with him since our separation a year and a half ago. I’m slowly learning forgiveness, but his anger over the lack of sex makes it hard. He says things like, “No loving Christian woman would make a guy wait this long.” How can I find genuine desire again after so much damage to my heart?My friend, who identifies as non-binary, had masculinizing chest surgery. I knew about her plans but never dissuaded her or shared my faith. I even drove her to her first post-op appointment. Now I feel I failed to answer God’s call to speak truth. She may think I support her decision and doesn’t know I’m Catholic. I pray for her and want to reflect on what happened—how to seek God’s grace for us both and how to be a better friend in Christ moving forward.Coming from a Protestant background, I’m now more open to icons and statues but still struggle with the physical gestures of veneration. I understand the honor is for the person represented, not the image, yet verses like Revelation 19:10 trouble me. I love sacred art but hesitate with bowing or kissing images. How does Theology of the Body help explain this kind of devotion?Resources:Word Made Fresh PodcastGood News About Sex & MarriageLove & Responsibility YouTube Series---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I don't think I have numbed myself or shut down my desires, but I think I may have never learned how to be in touch with them. I don't ever feel aroused or even really desirous of anything. I thought it was because I was blessed with purity, chastity, and temperance, but I'm wondering if I'm actually lacking something or disordered because I don't feel like there's anything that I'm channeling or putting into right order. I'm just existing in what seems like a non-problematic way, but I'm not sure.My girlfriend and I are involved in Catholic ministry work, and we've been friends for over 7 years. We've been dating for just over a month, but we know each other very well. I feel like we could move forward faster than a typical timeline, but I'm not sure if I can trust that instinct. Do you have any suggestions about how we can prudently move forward?I am a Catholic wife in my late twenties with one toddler son and one on the way. We've been married for 3.5 years, and sex has never been easy for me. I've tried seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist, but every embrace remained painful, even more so after I was diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis. I'm wondering how I can reframe my thinking so I don't try to avoid marital relations or resent God for giving me this cross and making it difficult to connect with my husband physically. We do have great intimacy via communication and conversation, but sometimes it's not enough. We crave the physical connection, yet I always end up sad after the embrace because it is so painful.Resources:Love & Responsibility CourseSexual Integration & Redemption CourseAre you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning MarriageRestorative Reproductive MedicineAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:As I understand it, sacraments need the correct form and matter to be valid. What about marriage? I wonder if true marital sex is part of that form and matter, and if using contraception or not being open to life disrupts the grace that flows through the sacrament. In our marriage, we’ve experienced deep grace through healthy sexual intimacy and NFP, and I sense this grace comes not just from avoiding sin, but directly from the physical marital union that’s healed and unified us after years of brokenness.My husband of 25 years is battling aggressive cancer and undergoing chemo, which will lead to erectile dysfunction. His doctors say we must use condoms if we want to be intimate during treatment because the chemicals could harm me. We’ve never used contraception and don’t want to commit mortal sin. We’re in our late 40s and still practicing NFP. Given our situation, can we morally use condoms during chemo for safety, or would that violate Church teaching?I’m a man in my early twenties who’s long experienced strong same-sex attraction, though I also feel a more romantic, non-sexual attraction toward women. I’ve tried to see the beauty of men as a reflection of God’s design, yet I feel shame and confusion, wondering if this admiration is wrong. I want to be a true man, love women rightly, and one day marry and have a family. What should I do with these feelings and desires? Resources:Love & Responsibility CourseSexual Integration & Redemption CourseSetting Love in Order Book⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:1. I’m growing close to a woman from my parish, and our relationship may become romantic. I need to disclose my long history of solitary sin and pornography use, which I no longer struggle with, but I’ve recently remembered past acts and fantasies. I’ve taken these to prayer and confession, but I worry she will reject me if I share. What level of detail is prudent to disclose? I struggle with scrupulosity, making it hard to know whether withholding details would be dishonest or manipulative.2. I’ve struggled to love my body for years. Pole fitness classes have built my strength and confidence, healing some self-hatred. I avoid erotic dance, focusing on strength-based moves. My question is: is it wrong to continue these pole fitness classes? They’ve brought much good to my life, and I want to ensure my hobbies are pleasing to God.3. I’m newly married and expecting our first child. We’re excited but nervous, hearing how hard parenting can strain marriages. I worry the struggle will create distance and conflict between us. How can we maintain our love and focus while keeping our sanity during pregnancy and early child-rearing? Resources:College of St. Joseph the WorkerCourse ScheduleJPII Legacy Foundation Website---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:Could you explain the purpose of cloistered monks and nuns in light of theology of the body? We’re made for relationships through our bodies, yet they live in isolation and silence. Is their life like priestly celibacy—foregoing something of this world for the sake of the kingdom?My wife and I had our first child 11 months ago, and I’ve been trying to honor her body and timeline. But I feel like I have little agency in our discernment since she insists we never have sex during fertile windows. How can I ask good, gentle questions to see if she’s truly open to the Lord with her body and heart?I’ve been married seven years and long to love my husband well, but it’s so hard. I fall often and feel helpless, aware of my weakness and need for grace. I also struggle with self-hatred and wonder if my difficulty loving him comes from not loving myself. What are your thoughts?Resources:TOB Survey---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:Before my reversion, my husband and I conceived both our children through IVF. Now I feel deep shame, even worrying my sin might harm them eternally. A friend once told me IVF babies don’t have souls, which horrified me. Do I need to tell my children how they were conceived, and if so, how do I do it without passing on my shame? What truth can I hold on to about their dignity and worth as beloved children of God?As a spiritual director, I know a young couple, married two years, who are struggling with sexual intimacy. The wife says this part of their marriage is nearly nonexistent. I fear this could damage their relationship and I’m unsure how to guide them. Do you have any recommendations?I’m an evangelical Christian, and my girlfriend and I hope to marry and have kids. She has type 1 diabetes, which makes pregnancy more complicated and risky. I’m drawn to the Catholic view of openness to life and natural family planning, but she doesn’t have strong theological views about birth control. How can we talk about family planning in a loving way that respects our faith, her medical needs, and the challenges of pregnancy?Resources:TOB1 On DemandOur Bodies Tells God's Story Book---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode: I’m struggling to find a spiritual director who can really speak to my heart. The priests I’ve met at the Institute understand integration deeply, but I can’t find anyone like that locally. My current director stays in the intellectual and rational, but I long to share my heart—its joys, sorrows, and complexities. How can I do that if I can’t find a priest who can truly receive it?My girlfriend and I want to get engaged soon. I’ve battled a masturbation addiction for 15 years, and while I’m free from porn, I’m not fully healed. In Next Step we were warned not to expect marriage to fix this. Should I wait until I’m chaste to propose, or move forward in trust? I don’t want sin to hold us back, but I also don’t know if I can fully be a gift.I’m 82, and Jesus revealed himself to me as bridegroom nearly 60 years ago. I thought I was alone in this until your ministry confirmed what I’ve long believed. After two abusive marriages and decades of celibacy, I live in longing for the marriage supper of the Lamb. At times, I’ve ached so deeply for Jesus it felt like being separated from a beloved husband before consummation—sweet but painful. Is this longing normal, or am I treading on ground too sacred?Resources:Søgen SpotifyEvent ScheduleFreedom CoachingEcstasy of Saint TeresaOur Bodies Tells God's Story BookEating the SunriseAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠