PODCAST · society
Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast
by Laura von Holt, Alex Gershuny
Welcome to Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast! Laura von Holt (Taurus) and Alex Gershuny (Scorpio), superfans of Susan Miller and longtime readers of Astrology Zone, share their (non-professional) thoughts on astrology and the woman, the mystic, the oracle herself: Susan Miller. Each month Laura and Alex will break down their Astrology Zone horoscopes and discuss why Susan Miller’s combination of exciting predictions and practical advice causes them to return to her site month after month.
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May 2026 Horoscopes: The Glitter Factor
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAURUS!!!! It’s an exciting time of year at Astrology Zoned because it’s Laura’s birthday! As is abundantly clear by now, Laura is an absolute Taurus queen who understands the importance of embracing the Taurus tenets of rest and relaxation. And Susan Miller has only good predictions for Laura and her favored Taureans this May. The gals begin the episode with a recap of Susan’s note to her readers. It wouldn’t be an update from Susan Miller without an appearance from the business woman and she’s here in full effect to tell her readers that her calendar is available at a discount. Susan also includes here a brief summary of each sign’s horoscope for May, which leads the gals to wonder if this format is a new feature of the note, especially considering that the summaries that Susan puts at the end of each sign’s forecast famously do not actually summarize the information in the preceding content. Next up is a discussion of the forecast for the Taurus birthday babies! Taurus has a lot to be excited about during May. There’s even a rare Blue Moon this month! Laura tells her Taurean pals to expect birthday money, glitter, and a private bubble of love, and reminds everyone that during Taurus season, one never needs a reason to recline. Alex ends the episode with a recap of the Scorpio forecast. Jupiter is here and is bringing lots of good things, including unexpected money. Susan also predicts wonderful career progress for Scorpio, which will be made possible from assistance from none other than the Jolly Green Giant (™?).Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: Note from Susan Miller: Taurus: 9:54Scorpio: 22:55Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected]:Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.comHelp Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
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April 2026 Horoscopes: A Planet Party!
IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, ARIES!!!!And there’s a lot going your way this April. Uranus is bouncing around to make sure that the month is filled with positive surprises for your birthday. Laura and Alex begin the episode by discussing the many times they were embezzled by Susan Miller last month. (Note: This does not mean that Susan stole money from the gals, but that her forecasts were accurate.) The good news is that Susan made a lot of correct predictions, but the bad news is that the predictions were not positive. The main takeaway from all of this? Always carry flowers in your bra when going through airport security. A discussion of Susan’s note to her readers is next. The gals report that Susan is very excited about the launch of Artemis II! Laura and Alex have a theory that Susan has a direct line to NASA, so they wonder how she might be involved in this groundbreaking mission. Another fun development revealed in this month’s note is that renowned illustrator and Susan Miller favorite Izak Zenou is doing a sketching residency at the Carlyle Hotel in New York! The gals reveal how they would style their ideal Izak portraits and wonder if he’s open to accepting bribes so that they can art direct their own sittings. Laura then tells Taurus what’s in store for April. Well, she tells them as much as possible, but Susan used the Taurus horoscope to go on a rather long tangent about the recent flood in her apartment and the history of asbestos in New York City, so there isn’t as much astrology in this month’s forecast as there should be. The episode ends with Alex’s recap of the April forecast for Scorpio. Susan wants the Scorps to get some rest! She also would like them to hire a financial advisor instead of talking to a friend about potential financial moves in order to help with the chaos that Uranus might cause this month.Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: Embezzlements: 1:08Note from Susan Miller: 9:12Aries: 21:37Taurus: 34:10Scorpio: 48:32Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected]:Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.comHelp Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Welcome to Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast! Laura von Holt (Taurus) and Alex Gershuny (Scorpio), superfans of Susan Miller and longtime readers of Astrology Zone, share their (non-professional) thoughts on astrology and the woman, the mystic, the oracle herself: Susan Miller. Each month Laura and Alex will break down their Astrology Zone horoscopes and discuss why Susan Miller’s combination of exciting predictions and practical advice causes them to return to her site month after month.
HOSTED BY
Laura von Holt, Alex Gershuny
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