Beyond the Good Girl

In this Episode of my audio memoir about when good stopped working, I find a breast lump a couple of weeks after starting a new job in Warsaw. I try to navigate this unknown medical system with very little Polish and the help of Doctor Google. I just want to go home, but there's a voice in my head that keeps telling me to stay, to not make a fuss. That I can do this. The same voice that makes me attempt to turn up for work when I can't even stand from a serious leg injury. The same voice that doesn't want to let anyone down and puts her own needs to the side. The Good Girl. Sign up to my newsletterwww.beyondthegoodgirlpodcast.com

In this episode, the good girl plans the best death ever without any actual evidence she is dying and totally ignoring any emotions she may feel about her impending doom in a frenzy, of lists, research and practices. BEYOND THE GOOD GIRL

Who is the good girl? She's an overachiever, she's a people pleaser and she hates being out of control. In 2020 I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer and my inner good girl tried to win at chemo! She tried to manage and control. She tried to not be a burden. She tried to avoid conflict and confrontation. Sometimes it worked but sometimes it didn't. She also tried to use her powers of prediction to figure out the ending. This episode is about where my mind went while waiting for a routine test result and the moment I realised I really couldn't control the outcomes of the treatment. Some how I had to find the balance between naive optimism and total catastrophizing. Sign up for my newsletter at beyondthegoodgirlpodcast.com

Gillian Wray welcomes Lea, who helps women "come back to themselves" — work born from her own journey through people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and the search for external validation.Lea shares her story of leaving home after a painful relationship, initially feeling profound relief from a suffocating environment, only to discover she'd recreated the same patterns abroad. It took hitting rock bottom before she began investing in herself — through the gym, online programs, human design, and past life regression. These tools, particularly hypnosis, helped her access her subconscious, gain perspective, and release deep-seated fears.The conversation explores inner child work, emotional regulation skills Lea developed while nannying, the particular shame that comes from tying identity to others' perceptions, the necessity of boundaries, using isolation as self-protection, and the practice of consciously curating one's environment — from social media feeds to news consumption.Find Lea On instagram @healingmindsetshifts or Facebook Lea VugaVisit beyondthegoodgirlpodcast.com

In this episode, I sit down with the wonderful Michaela Silsby and talk about who her parenting journey, led her to her own diagnosis of Autism and ADHD. She shares the struggles of being a parent to neurodivergent children in a system that often leaves them struggling. Michaela became an advocate for her daughter in the school system and now using her voice to campaign for changes in bills that affect 1000s of parents and children. She shares the reality on her Facebook Page Spilling the tea on autism and ADHDthrough poetry, reels and posts that help other parents, carers and young people feel seen and heard.

The Voice of EnduranceI had a plan for this episode. Diana Nyad, cultural commentary, the mythology of the endurance hero. But something else happened instead.What came out was this: the performance of okayness. The way grief — real grief, the kind that lives in your body — gets quietly managed in private rooms while you hold it together for the world. I talk about stillbirth. I talk about cancer. I talk about what it costs to be the person who endures.This is the episode I didn't mean to make, and probably the one I needed to.For anyone who has ever been privately falling apart while publicly holding on.

The Woman Who Recorded Her First Audiobook Under a DuvetAlice Sockett spent 20 years in corporate life before anxiety and grief brought everything to a halt. What came next: beach walks, a RADA course, a dog clicker, and a cabin bed with duvets — and somehow, a full-time career as an audiobook narrator. This is a story about what joy sounds like when you stop performing the wrong life.Alice talks to Gillian about the breakdown that made her stop, the small daily rituals that brought her back to herself, and the almost accidental audition on ACX that changed everything. She's refreshingly honest about the unglamorous reality of starting out — the improvised duvet studio, teaching herself Audacity, using a dog clicker to mark her retakes — and equally honest about what she got wrong so you don't have to.She also built an Instagram following of thousands, not by performing expertise, but by just telling the truth about the process. That community now includes carers, people with disabilities, and anyone who wondered whether there might be a second act waiting for them.Find Alice on instagram @alicesockettaudio Plus: Gillian shares her own update — she built a booth, started auditioning, and booked her first narration job.In this episode:Why Alice walked away from a 20-year career and what finally gave her permission to stopThe RADA course that cracked something openHow to start recording without spending a fortune on gearWhy your accent is not the problemWhat honest content does that polished content can'tHow to love the work without burning out on it againIf you feel burned out and need somewhere to land you can join me in the SpeakEasy. An affordable monthly membership for women finding their way back to joy- more info HERE

Your home is talking. The question is… are you listening? 🏠✨In this episode, we explore the voice of things and how our belongings quietly take up not just physical space, but mental square footage too. From guilt-inducing exercise bikes to wardrobes that whisper “you used to fit in me,” we dive into the surprising emotional weight of clutter and the internal voices it triggers.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your stuff, struggled with decluttering guilt, or held onto something because it was expensive, inherited, or a gift… this conversation will feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way.In this episode, we talk about:Why clutter creates mental loadThe psychology of emotional attachment to objectsGuilt around expensive purchases and unwanted giftsLetting go without shameHow decluttering connects to people-pleasing and “good girl” conditioningSelling unused items and reclaiming your spaceChoosing joy over obligationYou’ll hear stories about:The infamous exercise bike guilt spiralA broken standing desk that won’t stop judgingClothes that comment on your bodyInherited objects and emotional obligationA vintage typewriter that sparks joyMeaningful gifts that still hold powerInspired by the philosophy of Marie Kondo and her “spark joy” approach, this episode goes beyond tidying and into identity. Because decluttering is not just about minimalism. It’s about becoming a woman who chooses what she keeps and why.We explore what it means to live beyond the good girl and step into archetypes like the Lover and the Huntress — women who know what they want and are not distracted by noisy belongings or outdated expectations.If you’re ready to:✨ Release guilt✨ Clear mental clutter✨ Reclaim your space✨ Stop people-pleasing through possessions✨ Make room for what you truly desire…this episode is for you.💫 Join The SpeakEasy MembershipIf this resonated, you’ll love The SpeakEasy — my monthly membership where we explore archetypes, pleasure, identity and living beyond conditioning. We meet on Zoom three times a month for powerful conversations and accountability.Founders rate: £35/monthDrop a comment if you'd like an invite or head to my website unmuted-podcast.com If you'd like to take control of your finances you can find more info about Awaken here-https://definancecoaching.com#Decluttering #MentalLoad #EmotionalClutter #WomenEmpowerment #MarieKondo #PersonalGrowth #BeyondTheGoodGirl #Minimalism #MindsetShift #LettingGo #Archetypes #WomenInBusiness

Gillian chats with Robyn Harris about reclaiming your body, mind, and joy. Robyn shares her journey from burnout and ineffective treatments to empowerment through understanding how thoughts, beliefs, and nervous system regulation shape wellbeing. She dives into creating internal safety, the role of the vagus nerve, breathwork, and the power of response-ability over pressure. Find out more on Robyn's website. HEREor listen to the VIG podcast

In this episode of Unmuted: Beyond the Good Girl, host Gillian Wray dives into this month’s SpeakEasy archetype theme: The Rebel.But this isn’t leather jackets and dramatic exits.This is the quiet, simmering inner protest that builds after years of being “good.” The over-functioning. The self-silencing. The staying when you already know something isn’t right.Using her signature “fire phrases” exercise, Gillian explores how the Rebel often emerges not as chaos, but as a signal. A flare in the night sky that says: this isn’t working anymore.She unpacks:Why rebellion is romanticised in culture but pathologized in womenHow the suppressed or shadow Rebel shows up as burn-it-all-down energy, contrariness, or bridge-burningThe pattern of quiet rebellion, where resentment builds until a sudden, extreme exitHer own story of ignoring deep discomfort in a teaching job in the UAE before making a radical shift to Ulaanbaatar, MongoliaWhat an integrated Rebel looks like and how she helps you name what’s wrong, fight injustice, and realign with your valuesInstead of shaming the fire, Gillian offers compassion, curiosity, and powerful journaling practices to work with it.She leaves listeners with this prompt:“Where am I being too nice to be honest, but too resentful to stay quiet?”Plus:An invitation to join the Speakeasy membership for monthly archetype explorations, coaching circles, and journaling toolsA peek at current and upcoming themes: The Lover and next month’s CroneA preview of next week’s guest episode with Robyn Harris on growing up in Northern Ireland, wonder, and Dancing with LifeIf your inner Rebel has been pacing the halls lately, this episode is your invitation to listen before she flips the table.Join Me in the SpeakEasy

On Unmuted, we speak the truths we were trained to hide. In this episode, Felicia Thomas shares her journey of overcoming fear and judgment to speak her truth and share her art. We dive into how combining journaling and affirmations can shift old beliefs, build confidence, and support mindset changes that help anyone move past self-doubt. Whether you’re exploring creative expression or looking to grow personally, this conversation offers practical insights on confidence, self-expression, and personal growth.Links Felicia's Website Felicia's InstagramJoin the SpeakEasyPodcsat Website

In this episode, I talk with Gen Z British-Pakistani poet Aiman Sabir about poetry as a tool for expression and cultural authenticity. She shares why embracing your mother tongue in poetry—without translating everything—is powerful, how it helps break cultural silences, and why dual heritage is something to celebrate, not hide.The Unmuted Lounge is always open. Join the conversation. THE UNMUTED LOUNGEFollow Ayman on Instagram AYMOONMUSE

Body Sovereignty: Why Women’s Bodies Are Political, Personal, and PowerfulIn this episode of Unmuted, I’m joined by Kat Shaw, an activist artist whose work makes one thing very clear: women’s bodies are not decorative, neutral, or up for debate.Kat shares how her own struggles with body image led her to paint thousands of women as they actually are. Not idealised. Not apologetic. Not edited for comfort. Her art sits at the intersection of play, provocation, and protest, challenging the way women are taught to shrink, soften, and behave.We talk about body sovereignty, the politics of the female body, and why reclaiming your body is never just a personal journey. It’s cultural. It’s confrontational. It’s necessary.This conversation explores art as activism, the impact of patriarchy on how women inhabit their bodies, and what happens when women stop trying to be palatable. Kat also shares the stories behind her most provocative projects, including the Pussy Power Oracle deck and live events like Unapologetic and Uprising, where women are invited to take up space without apology.Explore Kat's work:KAT'S ARTJoin the UNMUTED LOUNGE or the SPEAKEASYSecure a place at BAD DATES AND BREAKUPS

Winter isn’t twinkly lights and resolutions. It’s grief. Stillness. Burnout. And women carrying too much for too long.In this solo episode, I talk about what winter really asks of us—and what we’ve been trained not to hear beneath all the glitter and noise.We move through:• The reckoning that comes after the holidays• Myths, archetypes, and the shadow season• Why “new year, new you” is a scam• Winter as a time to listen, not performThis one’s for the tired ones. The quiet ones. The ones not trying to reinvent themselves, just trying to rest.If you want to continue the conversation join me in the Unmuted Lounge. The LoungeIf you want to go deeper an explore how to tap into the power and wisdom of the feminine archetypes through journaling and deep mythic conversations then the SpeakEasy is open...The SpeakEasy

What if branding wasn’t about colours and fonts—but about telling the truth about who you really are?In this episode, I talk with ADHD brand strategist Katie Cope about unmasking, neurodivergence, and what it takes to build a business that reflects your actual energy—not the version the algorithm wants. We get into values, visibility, and why traditional branding advice often leaves the most honest voices out.✨ Inside this one:• ADHD, energy, and branding that doesn’t burn you out• Unmasking and showing up when you’ve been conditioned to hide• The lie of “professionalism” and who it’s really for• How to build a brand around truth, not tricks• Creating a business that feels like coming homeFind Katie Here https://www.keppelleopardcreative.com/or on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katieatkeppelleopard/The SpeakEasy is open The SpeakEasy

What happens when the “good girl” finally dies? This solo episode kicks off Season 2 with a funeral—for Gigi, the obedient, over-functioning version of me who was built to survive but never to thrive.I talk about how “good girl” conditioning shapes our stories, our silence, and our self-worth—and why I’m done with it. We also touch on the season ahead: guests, themes, archetypes, and what it really means to reclaim your voice in community.This one’s part confession, part invitation, and part burial.🔪 Topics:• The myth of the “good girl”• Archetypes + unlearning obedience• How community helps us reclaim ourselves• Season 2 preview + why it’s going to hit harderCome to the funeral. Gigi would’ve wanted you there.Replay in the Lounge

In the season finale of Unmuted, I step into the mirror. This episode is a confession, a contemplation, a small reckoning with the parts of me that live in projection — and the ones that write poetry from it.I talk about the slippery line between longing and delusion, between the archetype and the actual person. I tell you about the Sovereign Poet. About how the imagination can be both a sanctuary and a snare — and how I’ve learned to live with it, use it, and not be undone by it.If you’ve ever fallen for a fantasy, written a story in your head, or felt like your inner world was louder than your outer one — this one’s for you.

In this episode, I find myself thinking about what Voice actually is and the link between shame and silence; desire and voice. I talk about fear and control and how the silencing voice gets formed. I share a personal experience from my youth where I began to experience the internal cost of silencing myself. I talk about my long path back to self-trust and the soul craft tools of poetry and journaling. Join the Unmuted Loungehttps://lounge.thesovereignpoet.com/invitation?code=9825JJ

What happens when your emotions go underground? This episode dives into emotional shutdown, shame, and the invisible scripts that shape our lives—until we finally stop and ask, “Who the hell am I?”Gabi Da Gama joins me to talk about growing up with repressed emotions, the midlife unraveling, and how childhood beliefs still run the show until we decide to rewrite them. We go deep on trauma (even the “small t” kind), anger, guilt, and what real relief actually looks like.💥 In this episode:• Emotional repression + the body• Why midlife cracks us open• Guilt, shame + obedience conditioning• The shutdown of women’s anger• Trauma with a “small t” still counts• The shadow self + mirror people• What actual relief feels likeThis one’s for anyone who grew up being “good” and woke up tired of it.You can find Gabi on Facebook as Gabrielle Da Gama and on instagram @Gabidagama_22 She has a downloadable Emotions Decoder Grab it here subscribepage.io/H774wBCome debrief this episode in the Unmuted Lounge—plus find journaling salons, K-Pop catharsis, creative hangouts, and more existential detangling.The Lounge

In this episode of Unmuted, Gillian Wray gets into the raw, relentless reality of living in a woman’s body — the shame that gets handed down, the silence we’re trained to keep, and the rage that simmers underneath it all. Through her own poetry and lived experience, Gillian digs into how these forces shape us, limit us, and how damn exhausting it is to pretend otherwise.There’s a moment with Kate Winslet that hits harder than it should, a reflection on the myth of Medusa that’s less about monsters and more about inherited pain, and an invitation to stop playing polite with the parts of ourselves we were told to hide.If you’ve ever felt the weight of silence, if you’re tired of shrinking, or if you just want to hear someone say the thing out loud — this one’s for you,My Writing https://open.substack.com/pub/finitemusings/p/pandoras-box?r=1myke4&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=trueThe Box Speaks Salonhttps://lounge.thesovereignpoet.com/events/72C304

In this episode of Unmuted, I’m joined by educator, poet, and writer Saira Anwar to talk about her journey through silence, grief, and the long process of rising. Saira shares how journaling became her way out of despair and the practice that eventually revealed her voice as a poet.We talk about:What it feels like to live muted — and the moment she realised she had to speak.How grief and silence shaped her story.The role of journaling in transforming pain into poetry.Why creative practices can open doors we didn’t know were locked.Saira’s work invites us not just to hear her story, but to recognise our own in it.👉 You can find Saira’s book Rising from Despair here https://sairaanwar.co.uk/Want to try journaling in a safe supportive space?The Decision Mirror https://lounge.thesovereignpoet.com/events/9DFFA3The Box Speakshttps://lounge.thesovereignpoet.com/events/72C304Places are limited to the first 20 sign ups to ensure the atmosphere stays intimate.

How many times have you silenced yourself with the phrase, “There’s no point”?No point speaking up because they’ll just react the same way.No point trying because it never changes.No point asking because you already know the answer.In this episode, I dive into the quiet lie of “no point” and how it traps us in survival mode instead of true safety. I share how this showed up in my own marriage, how it seeps into our creativity, and why the world needs your voice—even when it feels like no one is listening.We’ll explore:✨ The cycle of “no point / no choice” that keeps women muted.✨ The truth about survival vs. safety.✨ The Wheel of Voice—and how to start turning it again.Because there is a point. There’s always a point. And it’s this: the world needs your creativity, your fire, your voice.Resources & Links:🎙 Your invitation to the Unmuted Lounge: https://lounge.thesovereignpoet.com/invitation?code=9825JJ💌 Join the newsletter for more: subscribepage.io/unmuted

What happens when we stop silencing ourselves and start singing anyway?In this conversation, choir leader and voice coach Katie Rose joins me to talk about the many ways we lose – and reclaim – our voices. We explore:How choirs create connection, healing, and courageWhat it means to “howl” when words aren’t enoughThe lineage of voice through mothers, daughters, and communitiesWhy reclaiming voice is both personal and politicalKatie shares stories from her work and her own journey with music and silence, reminding us that voice is not just about performance, it’s about presence.This is a conversation for anyone who has ever swallowed their words and longed to be heard.Find Katie at https://therosewindow.org/Join us both in the Unmuted Lounge and continue the conversation https://lounge.thesovereignpoet.com/invitation?code=9825JJ

Learning in the MarginsMy mum is whip-smart, creative, and relentless — and still says she’s “not clever like you or your brother.” The system told her that, and over time, she believed it.This episode is about the kind of deep, unrecognised learning that happens outside the classroom — the skills, wisdom, and grit you gain without a certificate, and why they matter. We’ll talk about emotional labour, the hidden curriculum, and why sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is speak before you feel ready.If you’ve ever been told you’re “just” something, or felt you had to wait for permission to be taken seriously, this conversation is for you. And if you’re looking for a place to share your voice and your skills without permission slips or gold stars, you’ll hear how to join me in The Unmuted Lounge.https://lounge.thesovereignpoet.com/invitation?code=9825JJ

What gets recorded, and what gets erased?Who holds the pen, and who gets buried beneath the edits?In this fiercely intelligent and deeply human conversation, poet and historian Carol J. Forrester joins me to talk about the silencing of women in official records—and the radical act of writing them back in. We talk about poetry, research, mythology, grief, running, and how history is not a fixed truth but a live wire.This one goes deep, fast.A poet-historian who writes with both fire and footnotesThe cost of erasing women—and the power of reimagining themA run through the woods that turns into a reckoningWhy rage belongs in poetry—and how silence is shaped by safetyThe story behind Stonetongued, and the truths it tells📚 Carol’s work:Browse her poetry, book tour, and Substack via her LinktreeHer latest collection: Stonetongued📖 Join The Oak PathA 10-week journey to reclaim your creative voice. Waitlist now open: https://poetry.systeme.io/waitlist🗣 Like this episode?Share it. Rate it. Whisper it into the ear of someone who forgot they were allowed to speak.What you’ll hear:

What stops us from talking about money?Where did we learn to shrink, to go silent, to feel ashamed of wanting more?In this episode, I speak with Jessica from Definance — a financial coach who’s helping women rewrite their money stories.We talk about shame, silence, and the systems that taught us money was complicated — or dangerous — or not for us at all.We also talk about possibility.Because power doesn’t have to look how we were told it should.Jessica is running Ignite: seven bold steps to reset your money story. Subscribe to Unmuted wherever you listen, and join us weekly as we reclaim the truths we were trained to hide.

This week on Unmuted: Speak the Truth They Trained You to Hide, I talk with Dianne Casey—a poet, performer, and all-round powerhouse—about what it really takes to reclaim your voice when the world has taught you to stay quiet.We dive into the magic of spoken word, the strength of building community, and the courage it takes to speak before you're ready. Dianne doesn’t just talk about transformation—she embodies it. She shares pieces about silence and voice including a piece from her upcoming debut collection, The Ritual of Not Disappearing.This episode is about taking up space, honouring your own voice, and speaking not just for yourself, but for everyone who’s still trying to find theirs.Read more of Dianne's poetry on Substack https://diannecasey1.substack.com

This one’s for the women who don’t press the call button even when they think they might be dying. The ones who’ve been told they're too much for having feelings and not enough for needing help. The ones who apologise for crying, for asking questions, for needing an extra pillow in a hospital bed. If that’s you—welcome. This is your episode.In this first solo episode of Unmuted, I talk about being the quiet girl. The compliant girl. The “good girl” who internalised so many rules about what not to say, she forgot how to say anything at all. I unpack the ridiculous expectations of being pleasant, low-maintenance, and quiet—even when everything inside you is screaming.This is a messy, honest ramble about what happens when you stop swallowing your voice and start using it. I talk about learning to advocate for myself, discovering expression through poetry, and why I started this podcast—not because I love the sound of my voice, but because I’m finally ready to use it without shame.If you’ve ever been told you were dramatic for telling the truth, or if you’ve ever tried to be so “easy to handle” you disappeared entirely, this one’s for you. No more shrinking. No more softening the edges.