Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Weddings, Family Tension, and Modern Etiquette Episode Description:If there is one life event that can bring together love, joy, tradition, money, and family tension all at once, it is a wedding.In this episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise talks with Lizzie Post — co-president of the Emily Post Institute, co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast, and great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post — about how weddings have changed and why they still create so many emotional landmines for families.Together they explore what modern etiquette really means, how parents can support their adult children without taking over, and why communication matters so much when expectations, finances, and family traditions collide.They also tackle listener questions about guest lists, controlling money, invisible groom’s parents, wedding gifts, complicated family dynamics, and how to navigate all of it with more respect and less resentment.A few key takeaways from Lizzie Post:Patience and flexibility matter more than everListen carefully before reactingBe honest about expectations, especially around moneyA thoughtful apology can go a long wayGood etiquette is less about rules and more about respect, kindness, and considerationGuest:Lizzie Post is co-president of the Emily Post Institute, co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast, and author of several etiquette books, including Emily Post Etiquette and Emily Post Business Etiquette. Her upcoming book, The Emily Post Wedding Etiquette Book, will offer a completely modern look at weddings, relationships, and etiquette today.Connect with Bite Your Tongue:We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at719-347-1106.We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Website: biteyourtonguepodcast.comSubstack: Behind the MicListener Line: 719-347-1106Email: [email protected] the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Are you helping your adult child… or accidentally holding them back?Many parents quietly support their adult children financially — paying rent, helping with debt, or covering emergencies. But when does helping become enabling?In this episode, Denise talks with financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz about the emotional and psychological forces behind the “Bank of Mom and Dad.”Dr. Brad tells it like it is and doesn't hold back.  He's says the right things - but sometimes they are hard to hear.  You decide. Together they explore why financial dependence happens, how parents unintentionally reinforce it, and what it takes to change the pattern.This is a tough conversation — but an important one for any parent wondering if their financial support is truly helping their child thrive.In this episode we discuss:What a financial psychologist actually doesWhy money is the #1 stressor for most AmericansThe emotional drivers behind parents financially supporting adult childrenThe difference between helping and enablingThe psychology of financial dependenceWhy adult children sometimes resent the parents supporting themHow guilt, divorce, and childhood experiences shape financial decisionsWhat parents can do when an adult child refuses to become independentThe psychological concept of an “extinction burst”How to create boundaries around financial helpWhat to do when grandchildren complicate the situationWhether helping with a house down payment is a good ideaHow money can impact sibling relationships and inheritanceIf you have something to add or if you have a question you'd like us to answer:📞 Call the Bite Your Tongue listener line: 719-347-1106You can also email us at [email protected] are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.  Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook  InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Family estrangement is one of the most painful and least discussed challenges parents face today.In this deeply personal and controversial episode, Denise speaks with journalist, entrepreneur, and author Laura Wellington, known online as Doormat Mom No More. After raising five children as a widowed mother, Laura found herself unexpectedly cut off by one of her adult daughters—an experience that left her heartbroken and searching for answers.She tried desperately to find other parents who were suffering with similar loss.  But noone came forward.  Then, she did what she never thought she would do - put a video about her problem on TikTok.  What followed was something she never anticipated: thousands of parents reaching out with similar stories. She's been featured in so many places including The Wall Street Journal, People Magazine and The Doctor Phil TV Show. Laura is a bright accomplished woman and her story will resonate with many.  It's more than just about estrangement.  It's about finding yourself.This conversation is raw, complicated, and at times uncomfortable—but it’s one many families are quietly navigating.Whether you’re a parent, an adult child, or someone trying to understand a fractured relationship, this episode opens the door to a conversation we’re not having nearly enough.Check out Laura's book -- Doormat Mom, No More! When Good Parents Finally say "Enough" to Their Ungrateful Kids.If this episode resonates with you, we want to hear your story.📞 Call the Bite Your Tongue listener line: 719-347-1106You can also email us at [email protected] are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.  Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Do you lie awake at night running through every possible “what if” about your adult child?What if they make the wrong choice?What if they don’t land on their feet?Should I call? Should I say something? Should I bite my tongue?In this episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise welcomes back psychologist and parent coach Jeffrey Bernstein, author of Freeing Your Child from Overthinking, to unpack the difference between anxiety and overthinking — and why that distinction matters so much in relationships with adult children.What You’ll Learn:Why overthinking is a mental habit — not just anxietyHow parents unintentionally fuel their adult child’s anxietyWhy “less is more” is often the most loving responseThe danger of becoming a SWAT Team ParentHow to support an overthinking adult child without fixing or rescuingThe power of validation over adviceHow retirement and extra time can increase parental overthinkingThe PACE MethodDr. Bernstein introduces a simple but powerful tool:P — PauseA — AcknowledgeC — ContainE — EngageWhen parents regulate their own overthinking, adult children don’t have to defend against it.Key Takeaway:Overthinking fuels anxiety — and anxiety leaks into relationships.But calm, collaborative parenting builds emotional safety.Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop managing… and start mentoring.If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your support helps more families find their footing.Don't forget about our listening line at 719.347.1106. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at719-347-1106.We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Are you a grandparent?  If so, listen to this episode. Boundaries, burnout, and big feelings—grand parenting can be a joy and a minefield at the same time. We invited Dee Dee Moore, founder of More Than Grand, to help us navigate the messy middle: when “free” childcare starts costing a family its energy, when in-law dynamics get prickly, and when love needs the guardrails of a clear agreement to thrive.We start with a listener story about an eager grandmother who slid from helping to shouldering everything—until resentment and health issues made the arrangement unsustainable. Dee Dee helps the listener with her question and adds lots of tips when you are deciding to help with childcare. Then we turn to feeling shut out by a daughter-in-law. Dee Dee reframes the “gatekeeper” idea and urges us to build a direct relationship with her as a person, not just our child’s spouse. We share examples of compliments that actually land, small trust-building gestures, and how counseling can open space when everyone is stuck. We also tackle overbuying—why today’s parents want fewer things—and offer better ways to show love, from experiences to intentional support that fits their home and values.Underneath it all is an identity shift: moving from fixer to “privileged bystander,” present and steady without calling the shots. We discuss preventing estrangement with early expectation-setting, learning modern safety and care practices, and staying curious instead of reactive. If you’re a new or seasoned grandparent looking for clarity, scripts, and a calmer path forward, this conversation offers tools you can use today.If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your support helps more families find their footing.Don't forget about our listening line at 719.347.1106. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at719-347-1106.We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This episode is for mothers walking on eggshells.For daughters who feel judged.For families who love each other deeply but don’t know how to stop hurting each other.In this powerful episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise Gorant speaks with Leslie Glass and her daughter Lindsey Glass about the hardest—and most hopeful—parts of the mother-daughter relationship. Co-authors of The Mother-Daughter Relationship Makeover and its companion workbook, Leslie and Lindsey share their deeply personal journey through addiction, family conflict, estrangement, and reconciliation. Together, they explore why these relationships fracture, how communication breaks down, and what real repair actually looks like.What We Cover:Why mothers and daughters trigger each other so deeplyThe independence vs. control conflict baked into motherhoodHow “helpful” comments about food, weight, or appearance become landminesWhat makes a fight toxic—and what makes it repairableWhy estrangement can feel safer than staying in conflictHow apologies, accountability, and boundaries rebuild trustPractical tools for changing communication patternsWhy healing starts with self-work—not changing the other personLeslie and Lindsey also share practical tools from their workbook—like replacement phrases that diffuse tension, ways to identify triggers before they explode, and why doing the work separately (not together) can be the most honest starting point.One of the most powerful ideas from this conversation is simple but uncomfortable: "You have to decide whether you want to be right—or whether you want to stay connected."Healing doesn’t require perfection. It requires awareness, accountability, compassion—and sometimes knowing when to bite your tongue.We’re also launching our new listener phone line. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at719-347-1106.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This is a controversial episode — and we want to hear from you.📞 Bite Your Tongue Phone Line: (719) 347-1106Call and share your thoughts, questions, or experiences.🎁 FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY:The first caller will receive a free copy of FCK Them Kids*. Leave your name and email.Family estrangement has gone mainstream — from Oprah to headlines about celebrity families — and the narrative is almost always the same: parents are to blame.But what if that story isn’t complete?In this emotionally charged and controversial episode, Denise is joined by psychologist and author Vivian King, PhD, whose book F* Them Kids* challenges what she calls the one-sided narrative of the estrangement epidemic. Vivian speaks candidly about her own experience with estrangement, the role of social media and therapy culture, and why many loving, non-abusive parents are being dehumanized and silenced.This conversation is not about dismissing adult children’s pain — it’s about expanding the dialogue, questioning cultural assumptions, and asking hard questions about accountability, boundaries, and dignity on both sides.Whether you agree or disagree, this episode invites you to listen with curiosity, courage, and an open mind.  We will talk about:The rise of “no contact” culture and the language of blameHow social media and online echo chambers reinforce estrangementWhen therapy helps — and when it harmsWhy many estranged parents are not abusive or neglectfulThe emotional toll of estrangement on parentsShould parents apologize “no matter what”?How to hold on to dignity, self-worth, and joy when a child cuts contactWhy this conversation makes so many people uncomfortable — and why it mattersPlease follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Send us your feedback here:  [email protected] or give us a ring at 719-347-1106. Tell us what is on your mind.  Now on to today's episode:What if the hardest part of parenting adult children isn’t knowing what to do—but knowing when to stop?In this episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise sits down with licensed therapist and author Joanna Hardis to unpack her counterintuitive but powerful philosophy: doing nothing can be one of the most supportive things a parent does.Joanna introduces the concept of distress tolerance—our ability to sit with discomfort without reacting—and explains why parents so often over-function, over-talk, over-explain, and over-apologize when their adult children struggle. While it may feel helpful in the moment, those reactions are often driven by our own anxiety rather than our child’s actual needs.Together, Denise and Joanna explore:Why parents confuse love with action—and how that backfiresHow “doing nothing” is not abandonment, but emotional regulationThe difference between responding thoughtfully vs. reacting emotionallyWhy swooping in sends the message “I don’t trust you”How over-talking and people-pleasing quietly erode connectionThe shift from doing mode to being mode in parentingPractical, small “weight-lifting” exercises to build distress toleranceJoanna offers concrete tools parents can start using today—beginning with something surprisingly simple: putting your phone down and sitting with discomfort.This conversation is a must-listen for parents who love deeply, worry constantly, and want healthier, calmer relationships with their adult children—without losing themselves in the process.Guest Resources: 🌐 JoannaHardis.comWe’re also launching our new listener phone line. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at719-347-1106.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Send us your feedback here:  [email protected] or give us a ring at 719-347-1106. Tell us what is on your mind.  On to today's episode:Happy New Year.  We’re kicking off a new season with a best-of compilation of expert advice from 2025, focused on one thing: building healthier relationships with adult children. This episode brings together the most effective, field-tested tools from last season’s most impactful conversations—practical shifts in language, mindset, and boundaries that truly change the tone at home.You’ll hear guidance on listening without fixing, navigating money and gifts, welcoming partners, easing tension through simple communication tweaks, and more.We’re also launching our new listener phone line. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at719-347-1106.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook InstagramHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Ready to upgrade your relationship with your grown kids without losing yourself in the process? We sit down with clinical psychologist and author Dr. Francine Toder author of the amazing book:  "Your Kids are Grown: Parenting 2.O."  We unpack Parenting 2.0—the shift from managing to relating, from control to connection. If you’ve felt that knot in your stomach after a call, questioned whether your help is actually helpful, or wondered how to be close without being intrusive, this conversation offers a practical, hopeful roadmap.We dive into the subtle habits that erode trust:talking more than half the time, offering unsolicited advice giving gifts with hidden strings—and how to replace them with adult-to-adult skills: empathy, permission-based feedback, and clear agreements. Francine explains why tension can spike even after children are “launched,” how generational shifts created over-involvement, and why your body’s stress signals are a cue to pause, not push. We tackle money head-on, exploring when support fosters growth, how to set timelines and expectations, and how to recognize double messages that quietly sabotage connection.If you’re ready to listen more, judge less, and build a relationship that feels mutual rather than parental, this episode will meet you where you are and show you the next step. Pick up Dr. Toder’s “Your Kids Are Grown: Parenting 2.0,” grab her Parenting 2.0 tip sheet, and join our community as we grow on purpose.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook Instagram Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

We know this isn’t our usual topic about building healthy relationships with adult children—but when we met Joe Dooley, we knew we had to share his story.  Even if this episode helps just one person—it’s worth it.In honor of No Shave November, we’re taking a short detour to talk about prostate cancer—a subject that affects millions of families, often quietly. Joe, a 65-year-old living with advanced-stage prostate cancer, opens up about his journey from diagnosis to remission. He talks about what he wishes he had known, and why awareness and early testing matter so much.Joe puts it best:“Most men know their cholesterol level and their golf handicap, but don't know their PSA level - the key to early detection." (and "normal" is not always "normal")Joe's story proves why understanding age-specific PSA ranges (not just "normal and "abnormal" is critical for men over 40, especially those with family history or genetic risk factors (and the BRCA Gene matters!)This episode isn’t just about health—it’s about communication and connection. Joe shares how he’s been open and honest with his three adult sons about his diagnosis and treatment, and how those conversations brought them closer. His story reminds us that transparency and vulnerability can strengthen our relationships—especially during tough times.And ladies—this one’s for you too. As Joe says, partners and family members can make a real difference by encouraging the men in their lives to get tested and talk about their health.At the start of the episode, Joe shares a powerful quote that now sits proudly on my desktop. You’ll have to tune in to hear it—but I promise, you’ll love Joe and his story as much as we do.(note: Joe is not a doctor - this is a personal story from his experience and what he has learned.)Links: Joe Dooley The Full Story Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Email us at [email protected] with ideas/feedback.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much.Facebook InstagramSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

The holidays are upon us.  It's time to dig deep.Catherine Hickem, founder of Parenting Adult Children Today (PACT). Catherine shares a hopeful, practical roadmap for parents who want less tension and more trust—especially as the holidays bring everyone under one roof.We dig into why adult children often act different around their parents and how expectations, tone, and boundaries can either smother or strengthen the relationship.   We discuss:• the hidden cost of parental expectations on adult children• why rescues undermine confidence and fuel estrangement• shifting from advice to curiosity with practical scripts• separating our self-worth from kids’ choices• tone of voice as an anxiety dial in hard talks• setting and holding fair house rules when kids move home• preparing for holidays with boundaries, space and new traditions• grieving lost visions so joy can returnPlease follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. Facebook Instagram  Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Check out Catherine’s free resource: Seven Keys To Talking With Your Adult Children at leaderpass.com/parenting-adult-children-today/previewSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

We sit down with "therapist to the millennials"  Tess Brigham to unpack why the 20s feel overwhelming, how parents can ease anxiety without enabling, and what healthy support looks like in a world of constant comparison and blurred work boundaries. We also share a step‑by‑step plan for tapering financial help and end with three clear takeaways to guide tough conversations.• why questions beat lectures when adult kids call in crisis• social media’s role in comparison, urgency and the “by 30” myth• money stress, pandemic shifts and the gig economy• boundaries at work, after‑hours expectations and burnout• individuation, values and reworking family narratives• mother‑daughter friction and being seen without defensiveness• tapering financial support with timelines and transparency• three takeaways: coach, contextualise, acceptHuge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Email us at [email protected] with ideas/feedback.Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much.Facebook Instagram Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Please follow us on social media - FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM -- we are building our brand and need your support!  On to today's episode:The first hug goes to your adult child. That simple shift sets the tone for everything that follows—and it’s the heartbeat of our conversation with Donne Davis, founder of the Gaga Sisterhood, who’s spent two decades helping grandparents build steady, loving connections without overstepping. We dive into the messy, modern realities of grand-parenting—new parenting norms, gift-giving traps, long-distance heartache, and the quiet art of biting your tongue—while keeping one mission clear: protect the bond with the parents so your relationship with the grandkids can thrive.We unpack why curiosity beats advice, offering word‑for‑word scripts that help you stay close without taking control. From the “anthropologist mindset” for approaching different sleep and feeding choices to setting gentle house rules in your own home, Donne shows how specific praise, reflective listening, and calm boundaries earn trust. We also explore the maternal vs. paternal grandparent dynamic, how to handle in‑law tensions, and why sustainable gifting and secondhand finds can align beautifully with younger parents’ values.Donne shares her L‑O‑V‑E framework and book - When Grand-parenting Isn't So Grand. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a fellow grandparent, and leave a quick review—your support helps us bring on more experts and stories you care about.Share your feedback about the episode by emailing us  at [email protected] biteyourtonguepodcast.com. Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

What if the words you use to show love are the very ones your adult child hears as judgment? That tension—care that lands as critique—drives so many family conflicts, and Deborah Tannen gives us the language map to change it.We sit down with the Georgetown linguist and bestselling author to explore conversational style, meta-messages, and the subtle ways timing, tone, and turn‑taking shape intimacy at home. Tannen shares vivid stories—from “Do you like your hair that long?” to car‑ride silences—that reveal how message and meta‑message diverge, why “helpful” advice stings, and how indirect questions can be invitations to co‑decide rather than games to decode. We trace the fault lines of gendered talk, where solutions collide with “troubles talk,” and show practical scripts to ask consent before giving feedback, translate intent across styles, and keep curiosity alive without sounding intrusive.We also dig into complementary schismogenesis—the spiral where differences push each other to extremes—and how to stop the chase/withdraw dance by adjusting cadence and expectations. Birth order roles resurface in adulthood, turning firstborn competence into control and younger resistance into reflex; naming those roles loosens their grip. Tannen’s take on apologies is both moving and actionable: why impact matters more than defense, how a simple acknowledgment can heal years of hurt, and why late‑life apologies carry disproportionate power. Along the way we address the “big three” hot zones—hair, clothes, weight—plus social media’s sting of exclusion, and we offer boundary phrases that preserve both bond and autonomy.If you’ve ever thought, “I was just caring,” while someone heard, “You’re not enough,” this conversation offers clear tools to bridge the gap. Listen, share with your family, and try one shift this week: ask before advising, label your intent, or offer a four‑part apology. This conversation is filled with insights that can help you strengthen your most important relationships. You may also enjoy this Youtube video of a talk Dr. Tannen gave in Amsterdam highlighting the conversational differences between men and women.  We found it fascinating. 🎧 Listen now and join us in exploring the power of language, connection, and understanding.Share your feedback about the episode by emailing us  at [email protected] us on social media and visit biteyourtonguepodcast.com. Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Relationship and Friendship expert Shasta Nelson shares powerful insights on transforming parent-adult child relationships and building meaningful connections throughout life.Emphasizing her Friendship Triangle framework of positivity, consistency, and vulnerability.1.     The Triangle of Healthy Relationships : Shasta introduces a powerful framework for understanding relationships, which consists of three essential components: positivity, consistency, and vulnerability. To foster a strong connection with our adult children, we need to ensure that our interactions are filled with positive emotions, that we spend consistent time together, and that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. This triangle is not just applicable to parent-child relationships but can also enhance our friendships and other connections in life.2.     The Importance of Vulnerability : One of the most profound insights from our conversation is the idea that vulnerability is a gift we can give to our children. By opening up about our own experiences, regrets, and feelings, we create a safe space for them to share their own thoughts and emotions. Shasta emphasizes that it’s crucial for parents to ask their adult children about their childhood experiences and to listen without being defensive. This kind of openness can lead to healing and a deeper understanding of each other.3.     Building Our Own Support Systems : As parents, it’s easy to become overly focused on our relationships with our children, sometimes to the detriment of our own well-being. Shasta reminds us that cultivating our friendships is essential for our happiness and health. By prioritizing our own social connections, we not only enrich our lives but also become better equipped to support our children. After all, a fulfilled parent can foster a more positive and nurturing environment for their kids.I truly believe that this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of parenting adult children or looking to strengthen their friendships. Join us as we explore these themes and more! 🎧💖Follow us on social media and visit biteyourtonguepodcast.com. Email us at [email protected] the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Have you ever sent an impulsive text when feeling rejected by your adult child? That desperate "What did I do wrong?" message that you later regretted? You're not alone. The relationship between parents and their adult children exists on a delicate continuum—from deep connection to painful estrangement and everything in between.Dr. Rachel Glik, relationship specialist and author of "A Soulful Marriage," joins us to unpack the complex dynamics of parent-adult child relationships. With remarkable insight, she reveals how our own emotional needs can unknowingly sabotage these precious connections. "We can't be a parent when we're depending on our child," she explains, highlighting how our generation's child-centered parenting style paradoxically created more self-centered adults.The conversation delves into practical wisdom about building emotional maturity—that essential capacity to hold your own pain while simultaneously creating space for your child's perspective. Dr. Glik shares illuminating examples from her own experience as a mother and grandmother, demonstrating how to navigate differences without becoming emotionally reactive. She offers specific guidance on welcoming your child's partner, setting healthy boundaries, and finding the balance between independence and connection.Perhaps most powerfully, Dr. Glik reframes relationship challenges as opportunities for profound personal growth. "Put energy into seeing what you're experiencing as happening for you, not to you," she advises. This shift in perspective transforms painful interactions into gateways for self-awareness and healing. Whether you're feeling distant from your adult children or simply want to strengthen your connection, this conversation provides compassionate, practical tools for moving forward with both wisdom and love.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This is one funny episode.  Today we interview Susan Engel, a professor of psychology at Williams College and the author of the New York Times Article:  When They're Grown, The Real Pain Begins.     Joining Denise as co-host is a dear friend Val Haller.  Val is the mother of four boys, very similar to the ages of Susan's boys when she wrote this article, so she is our perfect co-host.Susan takes us through her journey when she wrote the article in 2012 and her three boys were 28, 25 and 19.  Today, ten years later,  she is a grandmother with two of these three boys married and living right next door.  Can you imagine?Some things we talk about:Reconceptualizing the parent-adult child relationship as a relationship rather than a job that can be perfectedThe value of passing on positive comments between family members while avoiding sharing criticismsFinding comfort in knowing your adult children continue to grow, develop resilience, and build support networks beyond youThe importance of humility and acknowledging your own parenting mistakesRecognizing when to simply listen rather than trying to fix your adult child's problemsAbout Val Haller - our co-host: Val lives in Chicago and is passionate about music.  She is the founder/CEO of the music website Valslist.com. She launched it about 10 years ago (when her nest was empty) and it is the first music site specifically created to help busy adults keep up with new music.  Check it out. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Growing up doesn't end at 18—it's just beginning. Dr. Sara Klein, Vice President for Student Affairs at Stevens Institute of Technology, delivers a powerful message about the college transition that resonates far beyond freshman year: parents need to back off.After decades of helicopter parenting from preschool through high school, many parents struggle to step back when their children enter college. We've become accustomed to tracking every aspect of our children's lives—from daily school reports to real-time location apps. But this well-intentioned involvement can sabotage the very independence our adult children need to develop.Dr. Klein shares several specific strategies for parents navigating this transition. She recommends avoiding campus visits during the critical first six weeks, allowing students to manage homesickness and roommate conflicts themselves, and establishing clear communication boundaries instead of expecting constant contact. When students call upset, parents should listen without immediately solving problems—empowering young adults to develop their own solutions.What makes this conversation so valuable is how these principles extend beyond college. Whether your child is 18 or 38, the fundamental challenge remains the same: how do we support without suffocating? How do we love without controlling? As Dr. Klein eloquently puts it, "Allow your child to grow into the adult that you want them to be... the way that you love them as an adult is different."The most profound gift we can give our adult children isn't solving their problems or protecting them from discomfort—it's believing in their capacity to navigate life's challenges independently while remaining a steady, supportive presence in their lives. Ready to transform your relationship with your adult child? Start by biting your tongue and taking a step back.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Dr. Lawrence Steinberg sheds light on the evolving relationship between parents and their adult children in today's challenging economic landscape, offering practical advice on when to speak up and when to bite your tongue. He explains how the elongation of adolescence and unprecedented financial pressures have transformed traditional parent-child dynamics.• Housing costs have risen five times faster than salaries, creating barriers to independence for young adults• Living with parents is now the most common arrangement for Americans in their 20s• Financial support creates complex dynamics about expectations and boundaries• Follow the "40-70 rule": discuss finances before parents turn 70 or children turn 40• Only offer unsolicited advice when your child faces potentially irreparable harmful consequences• Frame concerns as questions rather than directives to preserve your child's autonomy• Adult children experience a "third autonomy crisis" around age 30• When grandparenting, recognize that parenting advice changes generationally• Focus on making your adult children feel confident and competent as parents• Stop judging your child's progress by the timetable you followed at their ageHuge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Emotional maturity transforms our relationships with adult children, but what exactly does it look like in practice? In this powerful conversation with Dr. Lindsay Gibson, clinical psychologist and author of The New York Times bestseller "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents," we discover that emotional maturity exists on a continuum that shifts with our stress levels and resources.When our adult children challenge our memories or share perspectives that differ from our own, our defensive instincts kick in automatically. But Dr. Gibson offers a revolutionary approach: temporarily set aside your need to be right and focus instead on understanding their emotional experience. This shift from "courtroom thinking" to empathetic listening creates space for authentic connection.We're experiencing a profound cultural transition from what Gibson calls the "family age," where identity came from roles and external markers, to the "self-awareness age," characterized by greater psychological understanding and individual consciousness. This explains why so many parents feel caught between outdated expectations and new relationship dynamics with their adult children.The most transformative insight? The very phrase "adult children" contains problematic contradictions. "My child" suggests ownership over another autonomous human being while failing to acknowledge their full adulthood. Instead, Gibson suggests approaching our adult children more like valued friends whose company we enjoy and whose autonomy we respect.Self-awareness (recognizing our thoughts and feelings in the moment) and self-knowledge (understanding the patterns behind our reactions) form the foundation of emotional maturity. Together, they allow us to separate our defensive responses from our deeper desire for connection. When an adult child sets a boundary that feels hurtful, these skills help us recognize our feelings without reacting impulsively.Have you noticed shifts in your relationship with your adult children? Share your experiences and continue the conversation by following us on social media or visiting biteyourtonguepodcast.com. The journey toward more authentic family connections starts with understanding ourselves.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Pride Month gives us the perfect opportunity to expand our understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community, especially for those of us navigating relationships with our adult children. This heartfelt conversation with Emmy-nominated Matthew Rodriguez, host and executive producer of "It's Okay to Ask Questions," offers exactly what many parents need—permission to learn without judgment.Rodriguez creates a safe space for curiosity, admitting that even as a gay man himself, he once struggled to understand terms like "non-binary" or aspects of transgender experience. "Just because I'm gay and we're kind of on the same side of the street didn't mean I knew everything there was to know," he explains. This honest acknowledgment sets the tone for a conversation where no question feels too basic or inappropriate when asked with genuine care.Rodriguez elaborates on how society builds these metaphorical closets brick by brick through subtle messaging about acceptable behaviors and interests until a child "can't see out of all the things they've been told they shouldn't be."For parents whose adult child has just come out, Rodriguez offers compassionate advice: "If you need to and you can't say anything in the moment, I would hug your child, kiss them, say I love you and say I just need a moment to process this...because I want to say the right things to you." Rodriguez's reminds us to reminder to "dream wider" for our children beyond traditional expectations. "All the ways you can grow and be in this world—there are many, and being open to that, as long as it brings love and joy and no harm, why not?"Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Sally Harris shares her emotional journey through a decade of estrangement with her adult daughter, revealing how she transformed her pain into a mission to help other parents facing similar struggles.• Sally became an alcoholic and extremely unhealthy while her daughter's life was spiraling• After eight years of sobriety, she's now reconciled with her daughter who returned to the family four years ago• Sally believes "we are best positioned to serve the person we once were"• Many therapists advise adult children to cut off family rather than work toward reconciliation• Parents should honor their adult child's perception of events even when they disagree• When values differ, loving your child where they are creates space for potential reconciliation• Ask "do you want me to just listen or do you want my advice?" before offering guidance• Self-care isn't selfish but essential for maintaining healthy relationships with adult children• Take care of yourself first and "stay in your own lane" by focusing on what you can control• Remember that many phases adult children go through are temporary as they establish their identityVisit sally-harris.com to connect with her resources or find her YouTube channel with helpful videos for parents navigating relationships with adult children.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Dr. Charles Fay, CEO of Love and Logic, delivers a masterclass in parenting adult children with the perfect balance of love and accountability. Drawing from decades of experience and his family legacy in developing the Love and Logic approach, Dr. Fay shares transformative strategies that shift our focus from control to influence.At the heart of his message lies a powerful truth: "We can never consistently work harder on somebody else's life than they are." This principle challenges us to examine our enabling behaviors masked as care and instead embrace practices that foster true independence. Through relatable scenarios—like the adult child who needs $17,000 for a truck payment or returns home to play video games on the couch—Dr. Fay demonstrates his practical five-step approach that maintains connection while respecting autonomy.The approach begins with genuine empathy, followed by the crucial question: "What do you think you're going to do?" This simple query hands responsibility back to adult children while communicating your belief in their capability. When establishing boundaries with adult children living at home, Dr. Fay suggests focusing on two fundamentals: ensuring their situation doesn't interfere with their growth, and making sure their presence remains enjoyable for everyone. These boundaries, communicated with empathy and firmness, create the conditions for mutual respect and continued development.Dr. Fay offers this memorable wisdom: "The more words I use when things are going wrong, the less effective I become." Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This was our very first Mother''s Day episode.  I interview my two favorite moms -- Doria and Sharon, two mothers of adult daughters and now both have several grandchildren.  I watch as they continue to share with their grandchildren their magical parenting skills.They share with us their wisdom on creating joyful, respectful relationships with grown children in this special Mother's Day episode. Their insights reveal how bringing a spirit of fun, maintaining connections across distances, and knowing when to offer advice (and when to bite your tongue) creates lasting bonds that evolve beautifully over time.• Creating fun, joyful experiences forms lasting connections that continue into adulthood• Modern technology like WhatsApp enables daily connection even with children living far away• The best conversations focus on daily life details rather than major decisions or judgment • Offering opinions rather than judgments by asking "What do you think?" after sharing your perspective• Shifting from leader to supporter as children become adults requires patience and trust• Wedding planning requires openness, support, and recognition that it's their special day• Grandparenting brings immense joy while requiring respect for the new parents' choices• The most important message to consistently convey is unconditional love and acceptance• Our hearts remain our children's home no matter where we all physically liveHuge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

In today's episode, Dr. Gene Beresin, Executive Director of the Clay Center for Young and Healthy Minds, explores the complexities of adult children returning home and maintaining healthy relationships during life transitions. Based on four decades of experience with youth and young adults plus his personal journey as a father of four whose adult children all boomeranged at some point, he offers practical wisdom for navigating these delicate family dynamics.Drawing on revolutionary brain science, Dr. Beresin challenges our traditional understanding of development, revealing that neurobiologically, adolescence doesn't end at 18—but continues until age 26. This critical insight reshapes how we approach relationships with young adults who are still developing the neural connections between emotional impulses and rational decision-making.For parents navigating the return of an adult child, transparency becomes essential. Conversations about finances—typically avoided in most families—need prioritization alongside discussions about household expectations, timelines, and mutual support. "The rare family that speaks openly about money," Dr. Beresin notes, "is better equipped to navigate these transitions without resentment building." The key lies in balancing empathy for the challenges young adults face with appropriate boundaries that foster continued growth.He also reminds us of what he calls the "oxygen mask principle"—the essential reminder that both parents and adult children must attend to their own emotional regulation and self-care before attempting to help each other. When both generations put on their metaphorical oxygen masks first, they create the foundation for authentic communication, mutual respect, and relationships that continue evolving through life's inevitable transitions.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today we rewind and delve into the much overlooked topic of sibling relationships.  We speak with Fern Schumer Chapman author of the book Brothers, Sisters, Strangers.  Siblings are the longest relationship we will have in our lives - and our children's.  Whether you're navigating your own sibling estrangement or watching it develop between your children, this conversation offers both validation and practical wisdom for one of life's most painful but least discussed family challenges.  It also makes you question: "Do you have a favorite child?"Chapman shares her personal life story that led her to write this book and highlights a number of key points:• Sibling relationships can last 80 years, making them our longest connections• Estrangement often occurs during "perilous moments" like marriage, having children, or parental illness• Parental favoritism significantly contributes to sibling rifts• The "dignity model" approach to reconciliation requires genuine listening without challenging each other's stories• Some relationships are too toxic to repair, especially with narcissism or mental illness involved• Birth order affects sibling dynamics and relationships• Estrangement ripples through families as relatives often align with one sibling• Strong sibling connections are cornerstone of emotional health, according to Harvard's longest study of well-beingHuge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

We are doing an episode rewind today on our most downloaded episode - Mothers and Daughters.  This relationship carries a unique intensity that often follows us well into adulthood. When does healthy involvement cross into control? How do we navigate the painful territory when our adult daughters push us away?Certified life coach and mother/daughter expert Pam Tronson joins us to unravel the complicated dynamics of mother-daughter relationships with refreshing honesty. Drawing from her professional expertise and personal struggles with her own adult daughters, Pam gets straight to the heart of what makes these relationships simultaneously precious and challenging."We were expected to be in control," Pam explains, pinpointing why the transition to parenting adults feels so disorienting. "That was part of our job description." The expectation to curate, orchestrate, and manage gradually gives way to a new reality – watching from the sidelines as our children build independent lives. This transition feels like "jumping off a bridge" for many mothers who've built their identities around active parenting.Most powerfully, Pam encourages mothers to take responsibility without shame: "When you own the problems, you have the power to do something about them." Her advice to ask better questions like "what else could be true?" offers a path away from defensiveness toward genuine connection.Whether you're navigating a challenging relationship with your adult daughter or working to improve communication as an adult daughter yourself, this episode provides compassionate guidance for the journey. Subscribe and share your experiences with us – when was the last time you had to bite your tongue?Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This is one of our most popular episodes.  Join us for an insightful exploration of the evolving dynamics in parent-child relationships and the often-misunderstood in-law dynamics in our latest podcast episode featuring Rachel Haack. Rachel, a seasoned mental health clinician and mother of five, shares her wealth of knowledge on fostering healthy relationships within family systems. We delve into the complexities that arise when adult children forge their own paths, and how parents often grapple with the shifts in their roles. Rachel draws from her personal journey as a mother and daughter-in-law, giving listeners practical advice on how to navigate potentially rocky waters. Key themes include the importance of establishing relationships with in-laws that are grounded in empathy, understanding expectations, and being open to engaging in difficult conversations. We tackle the notion of ambivalence in relationships—a concept often overlooked—and the necessity of nurturing compassion amidst the chaos of family life. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This episode is a "must listen" for an parent of an adult child on the brink of welcoming a grandchild. We are thrilled to bring you a special episode with the wise and compassionate Kimberly Beppler, The Grandparent Doula.  Kimberly enlightens us with her journey from assisting postpartum families to recognizing the irreplaceable role grandparents can play in this delicate phase. We uncover her innovative approach of crafting a "menu" of support options, ensuring grandparents provide meaningful help without stepping on toes. It's an episode of advice for those eager to strengthen family bonds while honoring the autonomy and boundaries of new parents.Our conversation shifts to the fresh landscape of parenting and grandparenting, where emotional intelligence reigns supreme among millennials and Gen Z. This era demands a recalibration of old norms, as we explore the evolving expectations and challenges grandparents face today. Kimberly's insights highlight the delicate balance of offering support while respecting the independence and parenting styles of our children. Together, we navigate the fine line between being a source of wisdom and avoiding the imposition of outdated solutions, all while championing patience and empathy.We also tackle the modern pressures surrounding parenting, with a focus on breastfeeding and the overwhelming sea of information new parents encounter. Balancing personal needs with familial responsibilities also takes center stage, as we share strategies for maintaining emotional and physical well-being, ensuring grandparents remain a vibrant and nurturing presence in the lives of their families. A special call out to a product we love: Curiocity Travel Guides. The greatest tool of discovery and keepsake for traveling with kiddos. Listen for more on today's episode. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

🌟 A listener wrote to us about Tina Gilbertson, the guest in today's episode. She told us that Tina "saved her life." The pain and guilt that parents go through when estranged from their adult children is unimaginable. We asked Tina what really is estrangement? Is it a troubled relationship? Is it silence? "No, she said: "It could also be you talk every day. But maybe there's a constant tension, or you're always getting into little conflicts, and sometimes you go apart and have to be apart for a while, and then you come back together."  This episode is about  building a stronger and  less stressful relationship with your adult children And we all need that!We talk about:Understanding the relationship between self-perception and parent-child connectionDefining estrangement and its various forms• The importance of addressing emotional distances and insecurities• Steps to take when facing estrangement: pause, reflect, research, and reach outEffective methods for navigating difficult conversationsResources and support available through the Reconnection ClubThe ongoing journey of healing and self-improvement in parent-child dynamicsHuge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This is a very special episode for a couple of reasons. First, we’re thrilled to finally interview Dr. Ellen Braaten, the podcast's original co-host, about her incredible book, Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less. It’s a great conversation. Second keep listening to find out big news about the podcastBut the conversation today is about rekindling your child’s motivation, and the tools she shares work wonders for any age group.As parents of adult children, many of us wonder if our kids are truly living up to their potential—or if we’re just looking at it through our own expectations. That’s the heart of today’s conversation. Here are some highlights of today's episode:🌟 "Parenting isn't over." Braaten reminds us that our role as parents continues even as our kids grow up. Braaten shares invaluable insights on understanding our kids' unique strengths and how to support them in finding their passions.🤔 Are you worried about your adult child's lack of motivation? We discuss signs to look for and how to approach these sensitive conversations. 💬 "Life is a puzzle, and we put pieces in the puzzle." Discover how to help your kids find their passion and purpose. 🤔 Are you worried about your adult child’s lack of motivation? Braaten discusses the signs to look for and when to seek professional help. It's crucial to recognize the difference between typical struggles and deeper issues that may need attention. 🎓 College isn't the only path! Braaten encourages parents to embrace diverse career choices and to support their kids in exploring what truly brings them joy, whether that's a trade, a creative pursuit, or something else entirely.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send all ideas to [email protected]. Remeber to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Support US!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today we speak with Karen Denison Clark as she courageously recounts her journey from being a young tennis star victimized by her coach, to becoming a fearless advocate against sexual abuse. Her narrative, shared through powerful media outlets, including The New York Times, serves not only as a beacon of hope for survivors but also as a call to action for creating environments where victims feel safe to voice their experiences.By establishing a foundation of trust and openness, parents can create a safe space for their children to express their feelings and experiences, should they choose to do so.  Highlights:Why it is not too late to talk to your adult children nowThe impact of repressed memories and the journey to recovery Encouraging open communication about uncomfortable topics Tips for parents on initiating conversations with adult children Advocating for awareness and change regarding sexual abuse policies The importance of believing survivors and nurturing their voices Fostering a supportive environment for future generationsThe surprising rules at Colleges and Universities that still allow relationships between coaches, professors and other people in positions of leadership with students.  Read Karen's OP-ED here. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send your ideas for episodes and guests to [email protected]. Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Are you missing the signs?  Do you really know how your adult child feels and are you ready to begin to mend a fractured relationship?   In this episode, we sit down with Sally Harris, to explore the nuances of maintaining strong, healthy relationships with adult children. From navigating differing values to addressing estrangement, Sally shares practical advice and strategies for parents striving to build deeper connections while respecting boundaries.Here are some of the things we discuss:Recognizing the Parent-Child Dynamic Prioritizing Self-CareMastering Effective CommunicationOffering Support Without Judgment Embracing Differing ValuesFocusing on Your RoleHuge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send your ideas for episodes and guests to [email protected] remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

In this episode, we explore the joys and challenges of visits with adult children, whether during the holidays or throughout the year. Our guests,  Pamela Heckelman, a certified Empty Nest coach, and Rabbi Schlomo Slotkin a seasoned relationship counselor, share their expertise on building stronger, more fulfilling connections with adult children.How can parents create a welcoming home environment while prioritizing their own emotional well-being? They offer invaluable tips on balancing self-care with the temporary chaos of family gatherings. We discuss the surprising reappearance of teenage behaviors and provide strategies for handling these moments with grace and patience.As the family gathering time approaches, managing expectations is more critical than ever. We delve into the art of flexibility, open communication, and adapting traditions to reduce stress and foster joy. Together, we explore how parents can find fulfillment in simple, meaningful moments while letting go of unnecessary pressures to truly enjoy the holiday spirit.We talk about the importance of respecting adult children’s autonomy and maintaining a united front with your partner. By setting healthy boundaries and practicing non-judgmental communication, parents can nurture relationships that thrive beyond holiday visits. Join us for this insightful conversation, packed with practical tools to enrich your family gatherings and strengthen relationships with your adult children.Also a free book download from Pamela: Your Kids are Grown: Now What?Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today we discuss the circle of life and explore the emotional and delicate balance of caregiving.  For most of us we will be caregivers to our spouse, parents or even our children. And at some point, our own children will be our caregivers.  We are lucky to have two guests.  The first is Dana Eble, who has  been involved in Alzheimer’s disease philanthropy for more than a decade, which led her to being one of the first employees at Alzheimer’s Caregivers Network in 2021. Dana works to educate and equip caregivers with the knowledge and resources they need to excel in their roles while avoiding burnout.Joining Dana is Jessica Smith. Dana shares her own story of her mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease the age of 61.  She remembers wanting to hide. She felt shame and fear as her family’s world and daily realities changed. You'll discover how mindfulness became Jessica's anchor in managing her responsibilities and learn about the essential resource, "Navigating Alzheimer's Disease: A Map for Caregivers," available as a free PDF for anyone on a similar path.We dive into the tough conversations that many of us avoid, yet are necessary when dealing with dementia—like preparing for end-of-life discussions and challenging the often grim societal perceptions around the disease. Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram.   Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for only $5. Support the showSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Prepare to gain invaluable insights into the intricate dynamics of family relationships as we chat with Rachel Haack, a seasoned mental health clinician, mother, and daughter-in-law. We discuss everything from daughter-in-law issues, being a good mother-in-law, grandparent and we even have a poll our guest is going to share about what bugs young adults the most about us - and vise-versa!Rachel opens up about her early conflicts with her mother-in-law, offering vital lessons on empathy, understanding different perspectives, and the power of effective communication in mending strained family ties. We also discuss the high expectations often placed on mothers and the need for them to adapt as their children grow into independent adults. Rachel’s journey provides a blueprint for navigating and healing complex familial relationships, even when they start off on the wrong foot.We explore grand parenting and  identify common pitfalls such as criticism, discipline, and favoritism, emphasizing the importance of offering advice only when asked and keeping a balanced perspective on grandchildren’s strengths. Rachel shares strategies for initiating open dialogues and handling silent treatment, as well as the importance of self-soothing and emotional regulation. We examine the balance parents need to strike between maintaining their sense of self while being open to feedback from their children. This episode is packed with practical advice on addressing past conflicts, avoiding common communication pitfalls like stonewalling and passive aggressiveness, and nurturing healthier parent-child relationships in an age where social media influences are ever-present. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send ideas to [email protected] remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

How do we transform our parenting roles as our children become young adults?Today we speak with Julie Lythcott-Hames, former Stanford University dean and bestselling author of "How to Raise an Adult" and "Your Turn." Joined by guest co-host Erica Gardner-Gray, we unravel the complexities of modern parenting, addressing societal pressures and the myth of effortless achievement.As a parent herself, Lythcott-Haims acknowledges that parenting young adults is a continuous learning process. Despite her credentials and expertise, she humbly admits that she is still figuring things out and undoing patterns in her own journey. She encourages listeners not to interpret her words as criticism but rather as lessons learned from her own experiences. We examine the long-term effects of over-involvement on millennials and Gen Z. From helicopter parenting to the financial and emotional implications of extended adolescence, we tackle the difficult dynamics that parents face today. Strategies are offered for navigating this terrain, highlighting the importance of finding a delicate balance between supporting and enabling, and the necessity of preparing young adults to fend for themselves in an increasingly complex world.We discuss practical steps for supporting young adults, emphasizing the value of allowing them to learn from their challenges and lead their own lives.  Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send your ideas for episodes and guests to [email protected] remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Should you be involved in your adult child's dating life?  Listen and find out.Discover the art of balancing parental involvement in your adult children's dating lives as we bring you insights from the esteemed matchmaker, Rachel Greenwald. Our conversation takes a deep dive into the ever-evolving dating landscape, where technology and social media have turned dating into a skill that requires finesse and caution. Hear how the priorities of marriage and career are shifting among young adults, as highlighted by a compelling New York Times article.The pandemic has left an indelible mark on dating behaviors, encouraging a shift towards meaningful connections over superficial interactions. We explore how family dynamics play a pivotal role in shaping romantic relationships and the importance of having open, constructive conversations about your child's partner choices. From the influence of family backgrounds to the art of effective communication, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone navigating the complex world of modern dating. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send your ideas for episodes and guests to [email protected] remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee and support our work!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Unlock the secrets to fostering resilient and independent adult children with Dr. Charles Fay, co-founder and CEO of Love and Logic. We promise you'll gain actionable insights into shifting your parental role from caretaker to supportive guide, helping your children thrive as self-reliant individuals. Dr. Fay uncovers the pitfalls of parental guilt and codependency, offering practical strategies to empower your adult children to take charge of their own lives.Ever wondered how to offer advice without taking over? Dr. Fay enlightens us on presenting choices without overwhelming, allowing your children to make informed decisions and grow from their mistakes. We explore the importance of effective communication, the power of empathy, and why sometimes saying less can mean more. Through engaging role-plays and real-life examples, discover the fine line between helping and enabling, ensuring your children develop the critical thinking and resilience necessary for adulthood.Finally, learn how to set boundaries that foster mutual respect and independence. Dr. Fay shares his personal experiences and wisdom from his upcoming book on Raising Mentally Strong Kids.  This episode is packed with profound advice on maintaining a balanced household where both parents and adult children can flourish. Join us for a thought-provoking journey into the heart of parenting adult children with love and logic. A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer, for making this episode possible. We love hearing from you! Share your thoughts with us at [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support Our Podcast:You can support our podcast with a donation as small as $5, the equivalent of buying us a “virtual” cup of coffee. Consider joining our squad with an annual membership starting at just $5 per month. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Ever wondered how to better support your millennial children without overstepping? Tess Brigham, renowned as the "millennial therapist," joins us to share her unique journey from the glitz of Hollywood to the fulfilling world of psychotherapy. Discover her expert insights into fostering independence in young adults by encouraging them to solve their own problems, rather than simply handing them solutions. Tess's approach is all about guiding questions that empower young people to navigate their own challenges confidently.Tess helps us unearth the pressures millennials face today, from social media comparisons to the looming "30 under 30" lists. We discuss the anxiety that accompanies unmet milestones and the fear of future failure, drawing intriguing parallels to the concerns faced by people in their sixties. Learn how to build trust in oneself through life transitions and the essential role parents play in this process, all while avoiding the trap of enabling. Tess sheds light on the evolving attitudes toward mental health among younger generations and the impact of technology on their work-life boundaries.Get ready for practical, heartfelt advice on how to provide emotional support to your adult children. Tess emphasizes the power of supportive texts and acknowledging efforts in boosting confidence and happiness. We tackle the complexities of work-life balance, especially in a world where constant connectivity blurs the lines between professional and personal life. Gain valuable strategies for setting boundaries, achieving financial independence, and embracing generational differences in career expectations. A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer, for making this episode possible. We love hearing from you! Share your thoughts with us at [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support Our Podcast:You can support our podcast with a donation as small as $5, the equivalent of buying us a “virtual” cup of coffee. Consider joining our squad with an annual membership starting at just $5 per month. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Would you like to unlock the secrets to building deeper, more rewarding relationships with your adult children? Join us in this BONUS episode rewind for a compelling conversation with Dr. Ruth Nemzoff, author of "Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Family." Ruth shares her invaluable insights on transitioning from a central role in your children's lives to finding a new way to connect as they gain independence. We explore the delicate balance of offering advice without alienating your adult children and the nuances of maintaining a loving and supportive relationship through thoughtful and timely communication.We tackle the practicalities and emotional challenges of redefining relationships when adult children return home or continue living at home. Learn essential strategies for setting clear expectations, negotiating roles, and offering the right kind of support. We delve into real-life scenarios to provide actionable advice on balancing household responsibilities, encouraging independence, and fostering mutual respect. Gain a deeper understanding of evolving social norms around intergenerational living and the importance of self-awareness in navigating these new dynamics.Finally, we venture into the realm of communication and boundaries, offering insights on how to navigate relationships with in-laws and manage family dynamics. Discover the power of open communication, humor, and positivity in diffusing tension and enhancing connections. Ruth's wisdom reminds us that while relationships are inherently imperfect, thoughtful communication and a willingness to understand different family cultures can transform friction into closeness. Tune in for personal anecdotes, practical advice, and a heartfelt discussion on maintaining harmony and intimacy within your family.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Another listener favorite! Today we discuss the sometimes difficult, yet rewarding relationships between mothers and daughters. We speak with Pam Tronson, parenting coach with a special certification in mother/daughter relationships. The connection between a mother and daughter is one of the strongest and most important family relationships. Accepting that it can be difficult and messy is key to being able to navigate the highs and lows. Bound by love we are often disappointed when our adult relationships with our daughters don’t meet the dream we had for that relationship. Pam offers solutions to help us let go of control and worry and avoid resentment. She discusses how the shame we feel, and the perceived “failed” relationship can get in the way of the repair that is needed.Resolution only requires one person to change the trajectory of the relationship. And showing one another that they are worth the effort is impactful.Beyond the personal stories and emotional shifts, Pam also discusses broader societal influences that affect motherhood. She addresses issues like parental anxiety, control, entitlement, and the normalization of worry. Highlighting the necessity of empathy and understanding different perspectives, Pam teaches us how redefining love and setting healthy boundaries can break the cycle of negative self-narratives. This episode is a treasure trove of heartfelt guidance, practical advice, and emotional support for anyone looking to navigate the complex, yet beautiful, bond between mothers and daughters.Learning to practice self-care and to love yourself is the key to setting the necessary boundaries to build better, more meaningful relationships with our daughters. It's always a good idea to listen again!Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send ideas to [email protected] remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Ever felt the sting of disappointment when your adult children don't quite live up to your dreams for them? Join us in a special rewind episode where we sit down with the insightful Jane Adams, PhD, author of "When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us."  Jane unpacks the emotional rollercoaster that many parents experience, offering her personal story and expert advice for letting go and allowing children to grow into their unique identities. Her years as a social psychologist and parent coach shine through, providing listeners with practical strategies to foster authentic and loving relationships with their adult kids.We also tackle the heavy burden of parental guilt, especially in extreme situations like incarceration or drug addiction. We delve into the difference between guilt and regret, encouraging parents to support their children healthily without being consumed by unwarranted guilt. Setting boundaries and providing structured support are key themes as we also touch on the complexities of financial support and sibling rivalry. We wrap up by engaging our listeners for feedback and suggestions, stressing the importance of open communication within families. Tune in for a comforting and enlightening episode that promises to reshape your perspective on parenting adult children.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send ideas to [email protected] remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

We are answering your questions!  When our inbox fills with numerous questions on a particular topic from listeners, we know it's time for a dedicated podcast episode addressing those questions.  However, not every query requires a full episode but each deserves an insightful answer. In this special installment, we've compiled questions from you—our listeners via email and social media—and provided answers that we hope will resonate with many.In this episode, we cover:Building strong bonds despite time and distance challenges.Navigating generational expectations and enhancing communication skills.Establishing healthy boundaries during divorce to support children without overstepping.Exploring how motivational interviewing techniques can empower adult children facing their own challenges.Addressing sibling estrangement and more.We conclude with heartfelt discussions and actionable advice aimed at fostering stronger, healthier family relationships.Special thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Share your thoughts with us at [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support Our Podcast: You can support us with a donation as small as $5—equivalent to buying us a "virtual" cup of coffee. Consider joining our squad with an annual membership starting at just $5 per month.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

In this episode we talk to Francine Russo, Francine Russo, a renowned journalist and author of "Love After 50: How to Find It, Enjoy It, and Keep It." Francine shares her personal journey through widowhood and divorce, and the unique advantages of finding love later in life. She says new love in later years is the best love. Listen and find out why.Merging families in adulthood, also known as adult stepfamilies or later lifestyle families, can be challenging.  Some say it can take up to five years to create harmony, and that the divorce rate is higher for people who marry a second time. Then there are the issues of pre-nuptials, estate planning and making sure your children are not left of the mix. This tends to be even more challenging with a second marriage, especially if you both have children from previous marriages or relationships. We talk bout the legalities to consider prior to plunging into a second marriage. A significant difference in age and financial resources can also cause difficulties and potential delays. However, the consequences of avoiding this conversation are even more dire in a blended family because laws affecting estate distribution have been written to better fit the needs of a traditional first marriage.We also talk about how to approach the sensitive topics of dating and divorce with your adult children and practical tips on when to introduce your new partner.A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Share your thoughts with us at [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support Our Podcast:You can support our podcast with a donation as small as $5, the equivalent of buying us a “virtual” cup of coffee. Consider joining our squad with an annual membership starting at just $5 per month. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

We delve into the world of pregnancy and fertility challenges that our young adult children are facing. With couples taking longer to marry or start families, this has become a significant issue for young adults, and as parents, it’s crucial for us to understand the landscape. A listener reached out to request an exploration of this topic, so we invited Elizabeth King, a Certified Life Coach specializing in Fertility, Miscarriage, and New Mom Support, to join us. Elizabeth, a proud IVF warrior and mother of three children born after age 40, brings invaluable insights and experience to the conversation.We discuss:Options for Young Couples: Our guest highlights that while the expenses can be significant, many companies offer partial coverage, and there are also grants and resources available. You can find more information and resources here.Miscarriage and Infertility: We dive into the emotional and psychological impacts of miscarriage and infertility.  We also discuss how we can be supportive.Finding Trustworthy CareAdvances in Science.A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer, for making this episode possible. We love hearing from you! Share your thoughts with us at [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support Our Podcast:You can support our podcast with a donation as small as $5, the equivalent of buying us a “virtual” cup of coffee. Consider joining our squad with an annual membership starting at just $5 per month. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

What if simply engaging in thoughtful conversations could transform your understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community? In our latest episode of Bite Your Tongue, we celebrate Pride Month with the Emmy-nominated Matthew Rodriguez, the insightful host and executive producer of "It's Okay to Ask Questions." Through heartfelt narratives and candid discussions, we unravel the complexities surrounding pronoun respect, gender identity, and the often-overlooked struggles of intersex and transgender individuals. Hear the poignant story of Pidgeon Pigonas, an intersex individual subjected to surgeries without consent, and understand the far-reaching implications for intersex and transgender rights. We also explore the evolving role of parents in supporting their children's diverse dreams and aspirations. Reflecting on personal experiences and shared stories, we highlight the importance of allyship, education, and vocal support in creating a more inclusive environment.  Tune in to learn how to engage in meaningful conversations and build stronger, more understanding relationships with your adult children.A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer, for making this episode possible. We love hearing from you! Share your thoughts with us at [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support Our Podcast:You can support our podcast with a donation as small as $5, the equivalent of buying us a “virtual” cup of coffee. Consider joining our squad with an annual membership starting at just $5 per month.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

What happens when your sweet, funny, smart, enthusiastic child turns out to have a mental illness? Where do you go for help? Who do you turn to for advice? And what if those institutions and experts fail you and more importantly, fail your young adult? What happens when everywhere you look for help or support you come up disappointed and alone? In today’s episode we hear from a couple whose family, much like any of ours, has been turned upside down because of a drastic change in their son’s mental health, subsequent drug issues, and the failure of our mental health systems that we assume are trained well enough to handle these challenges.It is a silent struggle we bring a voice to today.   The Holtons bear their souls, recounting their son Patrick's descent from youthful athleticism to one ensnared by the clutches of dextromethorphan abuse.  Sometimes called Robo-Tripping.  The drug of choice is Robitussin, easily accessible over the counter to just about anyone.Their narrative addresses the sometimes treacherous waters of the healthcare system, the cold reality of guardianship rights, and the isolation that so often accompanies mental health crises.The Holten share their story in hopes that it will help other families with a young adult facing similar challenges.  They suggest support networks such as NAMI and and the necessity of perseverance when confronting mental illness and substance abuse. Their experiences shed light on the significance of seeking the right medical advice, staying the course despite heartbreak, and cherishing the moments of joy amidst the pain. Links: https://www.nami.orgA big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Send your thoughts to [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support us with a donation as little as $5 (purchasing a “virtual” cup of coffee).  Or joining our squad with a year's membership as low as $5 per month.  Link here now:  SUPPORT US.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This episode will defy nearly everything we've talked about over the past few years.Our guest Jeffrey Arnett, Ph.D is renowned for proposing coined the theory and term “emerging adult” in the early 2000’s.   He characterizes this stage of life by exploration, instability, and boundless optimism.But when we talk about technology, sex, and societal patterns he outwardly rejects much of the current research and tells us why. We take a look at how things have changed since his original book in 2013 Getting to 30: A Parent’s Guide to the 20-Something Years to his latest book Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from Late Teens Through the Twenties.  What we talk about:Significant changes that have occurred over the past decade. We tackle the topic of sex and how the current generation's approach to it has evolved. We get to the digital world and how completely disagrees with much of the so-called research and its lack of firm causation results.He also offers some advice for staying connected to your young adults and leaves us with an optimistic view.He discusses the historical pattern of societal issues and how they played out in past generations (including ours!) And we touch on our grandchildren’s generation and the recent Los Angeles Times article “Millennials Gave Birth to ‘Generation Alpha.’ Are these kids already doomed?” Our takeaway is that maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to stereotype any generation. Maybe we allow them to come out of the emerging adulthood stage as fully realized adults and they will prove all the naysayers wrong. Listen and let us know what you think.A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Send your thoughts to [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support us with a donation as little as $5 (purchasing a “virtual” cup of coffee).  Or joining our squad with a year's membership as low as $5 per month.  Link here now:  SUPPORT US.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.