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PODCAST · sports

Born Offside

by David Hooker / Jason Pelham

This is the podcast Pippo Inzaghi would listen to, because it's about football/soccer by two men/idiots who love nothing more than goals. And just like the world's favorite Italian they have little actual skill. Join them as they give you insight/useless mutterings that you'll remember for the rest of your lives/day.

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Episodes

  1. ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!

    ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS IN THE FINAL!!!ENGLAND IS…

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  2. 20202021

    New Season, same old shit, we kinda go through or predicted table then think we're running out of time, only to waste the last 5 minutes on Southampton.

  3. Mbappe and Davies Collide

    Will the space time continuum be ruptured? Or do they play on opposite sides of the pitch and probably nothing will happen? did Leipzig lose because of Julian's incredibly tight trousers? Does Ever Banega belong on the street? Are you still reading this description?

  4. Tonight Philippe, you will be Andre Schurle

    Barcelona are shit, Pep over thinks, Sterling misses, and we've got about 30 mins on each of those things.

  5. The Pool Boy is dead, long live the Lyons

    We say goodbye to Joao and his pool skimmer, arrivederci to the boys from Bergamo, and hello to ... well nothing good. Will Lionel be able to give Barca a semi or will Jerome get his revenge? Join us for all that and an incredible insight into the mind of Phil Foden.

  6. Hello, my name's Joao Felix

    We contemplate the attractiveness of Andrea Pirlo, Mr Felix, and Mauricio Sarri. Doesn't turn out well for old ladies that. And also, we wave goodbye to Ronaldo, and worry about Thomas Muller's age.

  7. The Narratives

    Like all good cockroaches, we're back. And this time it's Champion's Legal! We've got Paul Scholes and his albino lockdown parties, El Cholo and his balls, and other serious stuff.

  8. Diego Costa's Virginia

    Messi is aging backwards, Bayern ruin everything, oh and football is back!!!! Sadly everyone now hates Spurs.

  9. Episode 91: Disinfect Your Muzzle

    We're back. Corona didn't kill us, and it didn't kill football either. We discuss the important things on everyone's mind, like what's up with Thomas Muller, whether Suarez is safe to play with, and what's going on with Disney land and the Bio dome.

  10. Is Pep staying? Sniff that oil to find out here.

    Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. Just the kind of stuff to stuff the stuffing out of stuff... after Christmas.

  11. Happy End of Days (2020)

    Yes, we still exist. And yes we are talking about the apocalypse potentially derailing Liverpool's title bid.

  12. We're back

    We finally settled our law suit with Rebekah Vardy's instagram account and we're back on the air.

  13. Episode number: A lot

    Jason's watched some football. Dave claims to have, near-hilarity insists.

  14. Wanton fly boys crush eggs

    Eric's made our week, Bobby Firminho is pearly and we don't like Michael Owen much.

  15. Episode 87 - The Golden Pukki

    They’ve signed a crack poodle. He’s a liability. He’s going to make a shit defence even worse… just with bigger hair. All this plus more David, David, Niko, Niko, and more dribble when all you want is a shower.

  16. Mushroom undercut curtains join units in the Premier League

    We discuss when Fat Lamps and OGS will now get sacked, an abysmal Southampton and Watford, and Poch throwing Tizzy Wizzes.

  17. A new season

    The season is upon us and we're happy. We talk transfers, the title race, who's going down, and other things which have little-to-nothing to do with football.

  18. The Last Podcast Ever

    This season! There'll be another in 3 weeks! We don't care if you don't listen.

  19. Rinsing Vikings

    All you need to know about Lionesses, Vikings, and another whole segment on filthy Luis Suarez's tears. Gotta love it.

  20. DMT vs CLF

    From Double Mini Trampolines Championships to Champions League Finals... with Love. Of course. Which will prevail in the level-of-importance-o-meter?

  21. Crack Poodles in Baku

    Tacking all the tough issues like whether anyone really cares about tonight, if Sarri is bringing in new Roman practices to London, and how 'gentleman' Petr Cech swaps sides right when it matters.

  22. It's not a trophy, it's a plate

    We try to drink champagne out of the charity shield, preview the dance world cup, and wonder why Pep has no friends.

  23. Troy Deeney is sat at the back of his cage

    There's nothing left to review, except Marcelo's bucket, so we spend far too long on that before briefly despairing about the cup final.

  24. Mancheshter Shitty Vinners!

    Manchester City claim the Premier League title, Solkjear finally gets a tune out of Cardiff, and we go over our end-of-the-year awards.

  25. EP77 - Inviting lady fate to do what she does best.

    Lady fate is here, as we revisit Ajax's misfortunes down the cruiser, and if anyone doubted Poch's fitness methods, just take a look at Luke Shaw now.

  26. Lucas Moura outshines Theresa May

    From Baku to Madrid, to Amsterdam and Liverpool. Lord knows where anyone ever is any more! What's going on?! We go through two of the most amazing comebacks in Champions League history.

  27. Oh, the Brodge

    You wanted drama? Well, you've already had it. The season is sadly sizzling out, but not before one last gasp from the Etihad. That plus more from Warnock... of course.

  28. EP74 - Working on my settings.

    Playing a Harry card while saving soon-to-be-shot-at ailing grandmothers in row Z. All this and more, as we dissect all the horrid-ness of Barcelona players, and just how much we think of Luis Suarez.

  29. EP73 - King Eric's Egg-cock-splatting return!

    What a time to be alive. The French have taken over Instagram, and there is no way back for the rest of us. The bar is set and Dave & J can only but ogle and marvel at the splendour of it all.

  30. Ep 73. Donkey Rhubarb

    G Nev goes all horticultural, Mustafi goes all kinds of terrible, and the title race goes on and on.

  31. EP72 - In Skipp, Spurs must trust

    Oh god. The best game ever? I'll leave it to you, listeners. Either way, there's a lot of babble. Any by that, I don't mean a red-bleached forward for Fulham.

  32. EP71 - Salah's shot is still soaring!

    More babbling, more dross, more Hendrix, but no moss. Bring on another Premier League review, and a saucy Champions League to look forward to.

  33. Ep. 70 - Getting it all wrong... again.

    Smalling smashes Messi, Fernandinho smashes Kane, and we smash this one out of the park... Well, not quite, but we give it a shot anyway.

  34. Ep. 69 - I remember we have listeners

    More bollocks from the Premier League, racism (bollocks) from Italy, and a load of crap levelled at Liverpool. All in a day's pod.

  35. Ep. 68 - Pantomime pricks prove prevalent

    Dave reiterates his disgust, disdain, and general dislike for Ronaldo, while Jason takes a few chunks out of his mate cus Saints finally beat Tottenham.

  36. In Madrid Sergio Ramos trusts

    The Champions League has produced the result of the competition so far. Real Madrid have fallen to the Mighty Ajax, gods of war for the day, rampaging stallion 'lads'. They've only gone and done it, haven't they!

  37. Did Sarri get his Willy on?

    Another delve into the conundrum that is... FOOTBALLS!! While Sarri is defied, Puel is sacked, and Poch has it out with Dean. Just another day at the office then.

  38. Simeone Celebrates in Style

    While running orders are rapidly dispelled, we delve into the why's of 'that' celebration.

  39. Ep 64 Davinson Sancho

    Or is it Jayden Sanchez? Kylian Mbappe's his way back into our lives, Pog gets naughty, and any foul on Dani Alves is ok

  40. Mourinho's back

    More ramblings from Dave & J, and more left-sided predictions

  41. Sean Dyche and the voice to behold

    More antics from the Premier League.

  42. Ooo, Terry Henry. Ooo Terry Henry.

    Dave finds his Father and welcomes back his Son. All in one podcast.

  43. Ep 59 - Gold covered broken condoms

    The French are at it again. First midgets, then sex workers, and now golden steaks and holy contraception. Oh and some football, but not a lot cos people kept interrupting us.

  44. Ep 58 - The Eagle has landed!

    On the Vietnamese man. Thank god it wasn't a Tiger. Also, some football sneaks into the first podcast of 2019!

  45. Ep 57 - BETTER THAN JESUS!

    We're back. And we're a lot better than Jesus, like Sergio Aguero better than Jesus. Don't believe us, just ask Shaqaubalacamane!

  46. Blipping madness.

    You couldn't have asked for a more disjointed podcast. We give you, Blipping Madness. More Premier League matches to come, and the Champion's League places decided.

  47. Hippy Crack is back in fashion

    Will City finally be derailed? Will the rabbit hutch release the rabbits? And who is on hippy-crack?

  48. Twerking never felt so right

    Jason is on the moon and Dave is a Pila. No matter, as we tackle the delicate dishing DJs dish out to first time golden ballers. Well done Martin! You've excelled in dish-dickery!

  49. Swerving Crack-riddled poodles.

    When poodles swerve, people notice. When poodles back out, people follow. This poodles has it all, people. He has it all.

  50. Voulez vous giflet le poulet, se soirée?

    Another episode. Another chicken slapped. Is there no end to the sagas portrayed by our very loved football players?

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

This is the podcast Pippo Inzaghi would listen to, because it's about football/soccer by two men/idiots who love nothing more than goals. And just like the world's favorite Italian they have little actual skill. Join them as they give you insight/useless mutterings that you'll remember for the rest of your lives/day.

HOSTED BY

David Hooker / Jason Pelham

CATEGORIES

sports

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does Born Offside have?

Born Offside currently has 101 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is Born Offside about?

This is the podcast Pippo Inzaghi would listen to, because it's about football/soccer by two men/idiots who love nothing more than goals. And just like the world's favorite Italian they have little actual skill. Join them as they give you insight/useless mutterings that you'll remember for the rest...

How often does Born Offside release new episodes?

Born Offside publishes regularly with 101 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.

Where can I listen to Born Offside?

You can listen to Born Offside on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts Born Offside?

Born Offside is created and hosted by David Hooker / Jason Pelham.
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