PODCAST · comedy
Carl Vs Reality
by Carl Guyton
Welcome to Carl Vs Reality, a British comedy podcast that’s basically just some bloke in a room talking about stuff — life, the internet, and all the weird little things that make being human equal parts brilliant and baffling. I’m Carl — professional overthinker, caffeine enthusiast, and full-time resident of East Anglia. Each week I sit down with a cup of coffee (sometimes tea if I’m feeling fancy) and ramble my way through life’s strange corners. It’s not politics, it’s not self-help — it’s the bits in between. The everyday nonsense, the random stories you’d tell your mates down the pub, and the sort of things you only notice when you’ve had too much time to think. Expect odd news from around the UK (and occasionally beyond), ridiculous observations, and the occasional heartfelt moment that sneaks in when I’m not paying attention. It’s low-key, funny, and a bit daft — the kind of podcast you stick on when you’re washing up, stuck in traffic, o
Episodes
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Buying videos and not lying to a cat
My cat hasn't been very well, bless him! Also, me and my partner have started to collect video tapes
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Letting Go When Plans Fail
Sitting on the beach, failed recording equipment, and watching ridiculous pier drama unfold'a little reflection on noise, letting go of control, and why people need to mind their own business.
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Sitting in Trees, Catching Rain, and Changing Seasons
Talking rainwater harvesting, fixing pub shed guttering, fussy houseplants, cat safety, and sitting up in my favourite tree to watch the changing seasons roll into autumn.
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Hippy Talks About The Solar Eclipse
In this episode I talk about my love of nature and natural occuring events and people not being interested
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Long Hot Summer and Records
In this episode I talk about the drought, the heat and me collecting records at car boots
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The Sea
I love the sea, I find it really helps my mental health
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Being a Cat Dad
In this episode I talk about finally getting the paternal instinct
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The Optician
I needed to have my eyes tested and I didn't want to disappoint the optician.
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Evening Routines, Incense, and Garden Pottering
Lighting incense at home, chatting evening routines, watering the garden, feeding the local hedgehog, watching nesting wood pigeons, and escaping social media to build an independent web space.
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Eleven Minutes of Bullshit About Carbon Footprints and Privacy
Ditching streaming algorithms and AI slop for an old MP3 player, independent Bandcamp music, and ethical web hosting. Just a bloke waffling about intentional living without being preachy.
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A Casual Chat on Solitude and Nature
Chatting from a willow tree after dodging a rare adder, exploring digital minimalism, why solitude is vital for mental health, and the joy of random cat pictures.
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Sitting in a Tree Talking Crap
Alright, cheers for tuning into Carl Versus Reality. I'm sitting up my podcasting tree after a crisp morning walk, proper clearing the head after a week that left me so mentally exhausted I didn't even know what day it was. In this episode, I'm having a natter about finding that vital nature...
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Why I Ditched the Algorithm (and Why Success is Failure)
Hello and welcome back to Carl vs Reality. I'm currently sitting right back up in my podcasting tree, about a twenty-five-minute trek out into the coastal wilderness to find a bit of peace and tranquillity, only to have a massive, deafening fighter jet go roaring back and forth right over my...
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Teabags, Trees, and Abandoned Trolleys
"Life’s a run until your teabag bursts." Welcome back to another episode of Carl versus Reality. This week, Carl is back in his "podcasting tree" (or is it a grove?), seeking shelter from the fluctuating Baltic weather and embracing his inner eccentric. While clambering through branches to find…
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Hills, Veils, and Other Things I Can’t Be Bothered to Look Up
Grab your flask and join Carl for a literal breath of fresh air as he takes Carl vs Reality on the road—or rather, off-road. Currently "stamping about" the dunes, Carl grapples with the unpredictable nature of British weather, from sunny Valentine’s beach walks to sudden August hailstorms. In…
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The Bus Chronicles: Eccentrics, 90s Vinyl, and Popcorn Lung
Hello and thank you for joining me for this "mobile" episode of Carl vs Reality. After 20 plus years of podcasting, I’m finally ticking a big one off the bucket list: recording a podcast on a bus. I’m currently sat on the very back seat—the throne of the "hard kids"—traveling through the...
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Spa Etiquette, Cold Plunges, and the Mystery of the Winter Shorts Guy
Hello and thank you for joining me for another episode of Carl vs Reality! I’m currently hunkered down in my podcasting tree—it’s freezing cold, the full range of winter weather is hitting me at once, but honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way. This week, I’m reflecting on my recent holiday…
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Pub Toilets, 90s Lad Culture, and Why I Might Need Therapy
So, I’ve started doing these "Morning Pages." You know the ones—where you write three pages of absolute drivel first thing in the morning to see what’s lurking in your subconscious. Turns out, what’s lurking in mine is a deep-seated discomfort with "blokey blokes" and some fairly specific trauma...
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Fart Loading: A Guide to Awkward Delivery Driver Encounters
Right, so, we’re talking McDonald’s breakfast. I know, I know—people judge, don’t they? But there’s something about a hash brown in bed on a Sunday that just feels right. Or it did, until I—a lifelong vegetarian—was handed a bag that was basically just a heavy, greasy pile of...
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The Cat is Trying to Kill Me (and Other Domestic Hazards)
Reality is a construct of perception. Carl is a construct of coffee and bad life choices. Here they meet in Carl versus Reality. Salutations! Today, you’ve caught me mid-chore. I’m doing the washing up, so if you’ve got a pile of crusty plates staring you down, grab the Fairy Liquid and we’ll do...
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The Shacket Chronicles: Mental Health, 5-HTP, and Cold Trees
Reality is a construct, but this cold I’ve had? That was very, very real. I’ve finally emerged from the duvet fortress, armed with some herbal supplements and my trusty Tascam, to go for a bit of a ramble. And by ramble, I mean both the physical act of walking through the mud and the mental act…
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Why I Got Banned From Lego Club (And Other Fever Dreams)
It’s been snowing in England. You know the drill: the country grinds to a halt, and we all forget how to use our legs. In this episode, I’m nursing my second cold in a month (ridiculous, I know) and pondering the sheer terror of walking on a frozen pavement. Why do we all walk in the same spot...
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I’m 41 and This Was My First Lollipop Lady Experience
This week I talk about a tiny moment that dragged me out of a bit of a funk — I got lollipop-ladied for the very first time in my life. At 41. And honestly, it made my entire week. From there I somehow end up diving into the world of micro-artists, including a guy in Bournemouth who makes...
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A Pub Dog, Some Farts, and Absolute AI Chaos
This week on Carl vs Reality, I end up in a perfectly nice pub… except for the small matter of a dog repeatedly treating the place like its own personal gas chamber. Very British evening out, really — everyone pretending nothing’s happening while quietly dying inside. After that, I fall down yet...
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The Tale of Sam the Silent Man (Sort Of)
Right, so this week I somehow end up drunk on halves-that-became-pints at a 90th birthday party, give myself the hiccups in the car, fall asleep under the duvet like a confused mole, and wake up next to the coldest, most perfect McPlant known to man. And then, because life likes a twist, we go…
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My Cat Stole My Chair (and a Bloke Stole a Skull)
This week on Carl vs Reality, it’s me, the cat, and a bloke who kept a human skull for sixty years. I’ve just moved in with my girlfriend, so I’m adjusting to life as a co-habiting man with a furry little shadow who insists on nicking my chair. There’s domestic bliss, feline diplomacy, and the…
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The Vegan Streaker Mix-Up
So, this week I’m talking about a Dutch bloke who got arrested for being someone he isn’t. A poor politician called Kevin Nuijten got dragged off before a live debate because security thought he was the Vegan Streaker — a fella known for charging into events half naked with “save the animals”...
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Reality Has Been Reformulated
This week I somehow ended up questioning everything — including my own height. What started as a normal conversation turned into a full existential crisis involving Penguin bars, chocolate-flavour coating, and the price of cocoa beans. Turns out, a few of our favourite British snacks aren’t what...
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I don't think you're ready, for this jelly
This week, Carl’s been watching AI John Lennon wear hats and wondering what’s real anymore — until reality hit back in the form of a bloke who ate three kilograms of Haribo and ended up in hospital. From deepfakes to deep regret, Carl unpacks the week’s weirdness: fake celebrities, genuine…
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How Much?! For a Coffee?!
Hello! It’s the very first episode of Carl Vs Reality — where it’s just me, some coffee, and the absurdity of everyday life. In this one I chat about looking after my poorly girlfriend, accidentally spending a small fortune on takeaway coffee, and a world record that’ll make your bank account...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Welcome to Carl Vs Reality, a British comedy podcast that’s basically just some bloke in a room talking about stuff — life, the internet, and all the weird little things that make being human equal parts brilliant and baffling.
I’m Carl — professional overthinker, caffeine enthusiast, and full-time resident of East Anglia. Each week I sit down with a cup of coffee (sometimes tea if I’m feeling fancy) and ramble my way through life’s strange corners. It’s not politics, it’s not self-help — it’s the bits in between. The everyday nonsense, the random stories you’d tell your mates down the pub, and the sort of things you only notice when you’ve had too much time to think.
Expect odd news from around the UK (and occasionally beyond), ridiculous observations, and the occasional heartfelt moment that sneaks in when I’m not paying attention. It’s low-key, funny, and a bit daft — the kind of podcast you stick on when you’re washing up, stuck in traffic, o
HOSTED BY
Carl Guyton
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Carl Vs Reality have?
Carl Vs Reality currently has 30 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Carl Vs Reality about?
Welcome to Carl Vs Reality, a British comedy podcast that’s basically just some bloke in a room talking about stuff — life, the internet, and all the weird little things that make being human equal parts brilliant and baffling. I’m Carl — professional overthinker, caffeine enthusiast, and full-time...
How often does Carl Vs Reality release new episodes?
Carl Vs Reality has 30 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Carl Vs Reality?
You can listen to Carl Vs Reality on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Carl Vs Reality?
Carl Vs Reality is created and hosted by Carl Guyton.
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