Cat, Unmuted Podcast

Episode 21: Voices, Stories, and Finding the GoodGuest: Heather Ballantine of Voices and Stories StudioWelcome to Episode 21 of Cat Unmuted, and my very first guest episode!In this conversation, I sit down with my friend Heather Ballantine, fellow Air Force veteran, author, podcast host, and creator of Voices and Stories Studio.Heather shares her journey from military life to writing books for young readers, including stories inspired by deployment, military families, history, and the importance of helping children feel seen. We also talk about her podcast, America is Great, her “blind date with a book” style project for rehoming used books, and the many creative ideas that somehow all keep circling back to stories.This episode took a different path than I expected, which honestly made it even better. We talked about creativity, authorship, motherhood, military life, miscarriage, identity shifts, and the strange way life keeps handing us lessons wrapped in chaos and hailstorms.In this episode, we talk about:Heather’s return to the military through the Vermont Air National GuardWriting her first book from her son’s perspective during her husband’s deploymentWhy military kids need stories that help them feel seenHer love for history and writing young adult booksThe reality of learning authorship the expensive wayThe importance of having people in your cornerHow creative ideas can grow into one connected businessMilitary life, motherhood, and the hard choices that come with bothMiscarriage, grief, and how loss becomes part of who we areLooking for the good without pretending the hard parts aren’t realWhat success means when your work is truly people-centeredAbout HeatherHeather Ballantine is an author, podcast host, military member, and creator of Voices and Stories Studio. Her work centers around books, storytelling, military families, history, and helping people connect through stories.You can find Heather at:voicesandstoriesstudio.squarespace.comFinal ThoughtThis episode is really about stories. The ones we write, the ones we live, the ones we survive, and the ones we choose to pass on.Sometimes the story starts with fear. Sometimes it starts with loss. Sometimes it starts with a child watching their parent deploy.And sometimes, it starts with two old friends finally catching up and realizing there was a whole bookcase of life between them. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

Episode 20: Interviewing MyselfThis episode started as an experiment.I've been thinking about bringing guests onto Cat Unmuted because, if I'm being honest, talking to a camera by myself can feel awkward. I wanted to test-drive a set of interview questions I've been developing for future guests.So instead of interviewing someone else, I interviewed myself.What followed was a surprisingly honest reflection on who I am today, who I used to be, and the experiences that shaped the path between those two versions of me.In this episode, I share:• Why I see myself as both an author and a writer• The passion behind self-growth, self-communication, and reflective self-talk• The three major rock bottoms that changed the course of my life• Growing up between Japan and the United States• The lasting impact of a narcissistic stepmother and the beliefs I carried because of it• How my military experience became a turning point in discovering my own worth• Why my miscarriage became the hardest season of my life• The emotional dissociation, postpartum depression, and identity shifts that followed• The moment I realized I could no longer continue life the way I had been living it• Closing a business I spent nine years building• Discovering writing as something far bigger than a hobby• How grief unexpectedly revealed a new purpose• The role gratitude plays in keeping me grounded• Why resilience is more than simply "being strong"• The connection between physical health, mental health, and self-talk• What I would tell the younger versions of myself today• Why I believe courage is required before bliss can ever be foundThroughout this conversation, I kept returning to one idea:The hardest moments of my life didn't simply break things apart. They redirected me.The woman who desperately wanted to feel the sun, wind, rain, and freedom on her skin during the darkest days of her miscarriage is the same woman who is now writing books, building new projects, preparing for a move to Okinawa, and creating a life that feels more aligned than ever before.My goal isn't a life without hardship.My goal is bliss.Not constant happiness.Not perfection.Bliss, peace, freedom, and the courage to keep choosing the life that feels true.If this episode resonates with you, I hope it encourages you to ask yourself a few difficult questions of your own.Sometimes the answers are already waiting.Through Courage Comes Bliss. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

I thought I was being lazy.Turns out… I was exhausted.Not physically. Emotionally.Living in a house that no longer feels like mine.Trying to keep everything perfect for showings.Writing a book.Trying to stay positive.Trying to “manifest correctly.”Trying to hold it all together.Then one day I stopped cleaning.Stopped forcing productivity.Stayed up until midnight playing Super Mario with Josh like two teenagers avoiding responsibility. 😂And honestly?It felt liberating.This episode is about the pressure of perfection, emotional burnout, and giving yourself permission to just… be human for a minute.🎙️ Episode 18 of Cat Unmuted is up now. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Cat Unmuted, I share a real experience from a recent vending event I attended with a friend—and how quickly things can spiral when people choose reaction over awareness.What started as a new opportunity turned into a front-row seat to miscommunication, personality clashes, and unnecessary drama. But instead of getting pulled into it, I found myself observing something deeper:We always have a choice in how we respond.What I Talk About: The dynamics of being the “new ones” in an established environment How assumptions about people can shape your experience before you even meet them What happens when one person’s constant complaints affect an entire group The ripple effect of reactions—how negativity spreads and escalates The difference between addressing a problem vs. feeding it Why not everything needs your engagement (even when you're invited into it) The power of staying neutral and not getting pulled into other people’s narrativesKey Takeaways: You don’t have to participate just because you’re invited into the drama Complaining without intention solves nothing—it amplifies everything People reveal themselves through patterns, not isolated moments You can protect your peace without needing to control others Awareness creates space. Reaction creates chaosThe Bigger Reflection:This experience wasn’t really about the event—it was about witnessing how people handle discomfort, control, and unmet expectations.Some escalate.Some withdraw.Some observe.And that choice?It shapes everything that follows. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

This episode of Cat Unmuted is deeply personal.Cat opens up about her experience with adenomyosis, a condition she had never even heard of until after years of unexplained symptoms, chronic pain, infertility struggles, miscarriage, exhaustion, and brain fog. What started as confusion around heavy bleeding and hormonal chaos eventually led to answers she didn’t know she needed.In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Cat talks about: What adenomyosis actually is How inflammation affects the uterus, nerves, energy levels, and daily life The emotional impact of miscarriage without answers Fertility struggles and the grief that comes with uncertainty Brain fog, chronic fatigue, lower back pain, pelvic pressure, bloating, and weight changes Feeling dismissed or under-informed in traditional medical systems The role acupuncture has played in helping her symptoms Why more women need to openly talk about reproductive health Alternative treatments being explored in Asia, including MRI-guided focused ultrasound The connection between stress, hormones, inflammation, and the nervous system Learning to rest instead of forcing productivity through exhaustionThis episode is slower, heavier, and more vulnerable than usual, because it was recorded in real time while actively experiencing symptoms. But that’s exactly why Cat chose to share it.Some conversations are uncomfortable. Some are deeply human. This one is both.If you’ve ever struggled with chronic pain, hormonal issues, reproductive health, miscarriage, fatigue, or simply feeling unheard in your own body, this episode may help you feel a little less alone. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Cat Unmuted, I talk about something subtle that showed up the moment we got our first house showing request… excitement.But not the calm, grounded kind.The kind that spikes.The kind that hooks you into an outcome.I walk through how that moment revealed something deeper: The difference between hope vs. attachment How “this could happen” quietly turns into “this needs to happen” Why over-excitement can actually be your body bracing for disappointment And how I brought myself back to a place of trust instead of controlThis episode isn’t about selling a house.It’s about how we emotionally handle movement in our lives.Because sometimes the real work isn’t in what’s happening……it’s in how quickly we try to control the outcome. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I walk through the real process of preparing a home for sale—not just the physical work, but the emotional and energetic shifts that come with it.After a full month of deep cleaning, decluttering, and preparing our house for the market, I found myself navigating something deeper: letting go of identity, attachment, and control.This isn’t just about selling a house.It’s about transition. Alignment. Trust.What I Talk About The month-long process of getting our house ready to sell Why decluttering is more emotional than practical How objects hold memories, identity, and versions of ourselves Letting go of things that no longer represent who you are Viewing your home through the eyes of a potential buyer Why less clutter creates more possibility How affirmations shape decision-making and mindset The difference between trusting the process vs. trying to control it What happens when your actions don’t align with your intentions The concept of “chasing energy” vs. allowing movement How attachment can create resistance instead of flow Choosing between: Speed vs. price Control vs. trust Why your true priority determines your outcomeKey Takeaways Letting go of physical items often means letting go of past versions of yourself Buyers need space to imagine, not space filled with your personality Affirmations only work if your actions support them Misalignment shows up as: Doubt Control Desperation Trusting the process creates calm, clear decision-making You can’t control everything—but you can control: Your environment Your reactions Your perspective Desperation energy cancels out intention Sometimes the hardest part is simply allowing something to move onAffirmations Shared in This EpisodeThis house is already on its way to the right peopleThis house sells quickly, easily, and for the right priceWe received multiple offers and the process was smooth, aligned, and better than expectedA Moment That SticksThere’s a powerful comparison in this episode about letting go—how holding on too tightly can actually delay what’s meant to move forward.Whether it’s a person… or a house…Sometimes the shift happens when you finally say:“It’s okay to let go.”Reflection PromptWhere in your life are you saying you want something……but your actions or thoughts are quietly holding it in place?Closing ThoughtYou don’t have to force movement.You just have to stop resisting it.Choose intention.Let things flow.Support the ShowIf this resonated with you: Share it with someone who needs it Subscribe for future episodes Follow along as I document this transition in real timeFrom the EpisodeThis episode captures a real-time transition—physically, emotionally, and energetically—while preparing to sell our home and move forward. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

I saw two posts the other day.One remembering a stillborn.One remembering a lost friend.And somehow… without even realizing it at first…they led me back to my own miscarriage.I realized it was also my anniversary for my miscarriage, which was about a week away.I didn’t fall apart.I didn’t cry the way I thought I was “supposed” to.I felt… peace.And for a split second, I questioned myself.Am I grieving enough?Am I doing this right?This week on Cat Unmuted, I talk about something we don’t say out loud enough:Grief doesn’t have a script.You don’t have to perform pain to prove something mattered.You don’t have to stay broken to show love existed.Peace and grief can live in the same space.If you’ve ever questioned the way you process loss…And if it resonates, share it with someone who might need permission to grieve in their own way. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

What this episode explores:🔹 People Change—Not Just WomenA perspective shared in this episode highlights how women evolve through major life experiences.But Cat expands on this idea: Men evolve too Emotional growth isn’t one-sided Shared experiences shape both partnersGrowth happens on both sides—and that matters.🔹 Timing Is EverythingOne of the biggest reflections in this episode:What if you met your person… before you became who you are today? Would you still be compatible? Would you even be attracted to each other? Would the relationship have worked?Sometimes, love works because of everything that happened before it.🔹 Past Relationships Shape Future OnesCat shares openly about her previous marriage: Losing her sense of self Feeling restricted and unable to fully express who she was Trying to fit into a version of herself that wasn’t alignedShe also reflects on her husband Josh’s past: Experiencing both emotional and physical abuse Feeling trapped and controlled Eventually breaking free and rediscovering himselfThese experiences didn’t break them—they shaped them.🔹 Why This Relationship WorksCat and Josh often say they “make marriage easy.”But that ease didn’t come from luck—it came from growth. Learning what they don’t want Understanding themselves more deeply Setting boundaries from the beginning Supporting each other without controlThey met as evolved versions of themselves.🔹 Growth Creates Stronger LoveReal love isn’t static. People change Life happens Experiences reshape who we areAnd love requires the ability to: Adapt Support Grow alongside each otherNot just fall in love once—but continue choosing each other through every version that follows.🔹 Challenging Each Other to GrowOne unique dynamic Cat shares: They challenge each other directly They don’t sugarcoat everything Growth is intentional—not accidentalBecause staying the same isn’t the goal.Growth is.🔹 The Bigger ConversationThis episode also touches on something deeper: The divide between men and women The rise of separation instead of understanding The need to come back to mutual support and respectInstead of choosing sides, Cat encourages:👉 Understanding👉 Growth together👉 Supporting each other through change🔍 Reflection Questions How have your past experiences shaped who you are today? Are you allowing yourself (and your partner) to grow? Would your current relationship work if you met earlier in life? Where might you be resisting change?🌿 Personal Notes from Cat Showing up even when things aren’t perfect (yes… even with a weird voice and allergies 😄) Reflecting on how much growth has happened over the years Continuing to evolve—individually and in partnership💬 Closing ThoughtYou don’t just fall in love with a person once.You fall in love with who they become…over and over again. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

I opened my old email to clear space—and instead found memories I hadn’t touched in years.Messages from my dad. Conversations around his passing. Pieces of a life I had already packed away.And just like that… I was triggered.But here’s the thing—I didn’t let it take over my day.In this episode, I talk about:✨ What triggers really are✨ Why grief isn’t always about the person✨ How big life transitions bring old emotions back up✨ And how I chose to feel it… without drowning in itBecause you can have a hard momentwithout letting it become a hard day.If you’ve ever been hit with a memory out of nowhere… this one’s for you 🖤 Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Cat Unmuted, Cat reflects on a simple moment that turned into a much bigger realization.While helping a friend troubleshoot a Facebook issue, frustration quickly took over when things didn’t go as expected. That moment sparked a deeper reflection on how we respond to situations we can’t control.From pandemic experiences to everyday interactions, Cat explores how people often default to blame, stress, and reactivity—and how choosing a different response can completely shift the outcome.What This Episode Covers🔹 You Can’t Control Everything Platforms glitch Businesses shut down Plans fall apart Life throws curveballsAnd sometimes… that’s just the end of the story.🔹 But You CAN Control Your Reaction Your attitude Your next step Your tone with others Your ability to pause and pivotThe first emotional reaction is natural.What you do after that is where your power is.🔹 COVID as a MirrorCat shares how the pandemic revealed different ways people handled uncertainty: Panic vs. opportunity Blame vs. adaptation Consumption vs. creationInstead of spiraling, she chose to: Start writing her book Face her past Begin deeper inner workWhat felt like disruption became a doorway.🔹 A Small Moment That Said EverythingDuring a call with her internet provider, Cat asked the representative one simple question:“How are you doing?”His response?“No one has asked me that today.”A reminder that: People carry stress we don’t see Kindness stands out more than we think We choose what energy we bring into interactions🔹 Blame vs ResponsibilityIt’s easy to: Blame companies Blame systems Blame other peopleBut most of the time, the person in front of you isn’t the problem.And reacting with blame: Doesn’t solve anything Adds more stress Keeps you stuck🔹 The “Me First” MentalityFrom panic buying to unnecessary spending, Cat reflects on how fear can drive selfish decisions.But asks:What would happen if we trusted each other more?If we believed: Someone would help if we needed it There’s enough to go around We don’t have to fight for everything🔹 Choosing a Better ResponseInstead of reacting with: Anger Frustration BlameTry asking:👉 “What can I do now?”That shift alone can: Reduce stress Improve outcomes Change how others respond to you Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Cat Unmuted, Cat shares a real-life experience that happened while she and Josh were out near the dunes of New Mexico with their Jeep. After hearing someone yell for help, they discovered a father and son stuck in the dirt with their truck.What started as a simple recovery turned into a reflection about embarrassment, ego, personal responsibility, and how our reactions to difficult situations shape the outcome.Cat explores why many people struggle to admit mistakes or ask for help, especially when pride or embarrassment gets in the way. She shares how maturity, life experience, and self-awareness can change the way we respond to challenges.This story becomes a powerful example of something Cat teaches often: learning the difference between reacting emotionally and responding intentionally.Key Topics in This Episode🚙 A Real-Life Jeep Recovery StoryCat and Josh encounter two men stuck in the dunes near a construction site.The father, a disabled veteran with two injured knees, was the one yelling for help.The son, who had driven the truck into the sand, avoided interacting with anyone.🧠 Embarrassment vs ResponsibilityMany people avoid asking for help because they don’t want to admit they made a mistake.Pride and embarrassment can prevent us from taking simple steps that would solve the problem faster.⚖️ Reaction vs Proactive ResponseCat explains the difference between:Reactive behaviorEmotionalStress-drivenAvoidanceBlaming circumstances or hiding mistakesProactive behaviorAccepting the situationTaking responsibilityAsking for help when neededFocusing on solutions rather than shame🔍 A Lesson About ControlOne of the central themes Cat teaches:You cannot control the situation.You can control your reaction to it.In difficult moments, there is often an initial emotional reaction. But the real power comes in what you choose to do after that moment passes.👣 Life Experience Changes PerspectiveCat reflects on how many people grow out of embarrassment as they experience more of life.Things that once felt humiliating become small, insignificant moments once we realize:Everyone makes mistakesEveryone needs help sometimesResponsibility is more powerful than prideReflection QuestionsCat invites listeners to consider:When was the last time embarrassment stopped you from asking for help?What situations trigger your reactive responses?How would your life change if you paused before reacting?What would it look like to respond with intention instead?Related Themes Cat Often TeachesSelf-awarenessPersonal responsibilityEmotional regulationChoosing intentional reactionsRecognizing patterns in thoughts and behaviorThese ideas are also connected to Cat’s upcoming Reflective Truth workshop, which focuses on noticing patterns in thoughts, reactions, and behavior. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

We don’t always process pain.Sometimes we survive it.And survival can look like strength.Silence.Composure.“I’m fine.”In this episode of Kat Unmuted, I talk about emotional dissociation, trauma, and the quiet ways we disconnect from memories that once overwhelmed us.The brain is brilliant at protection. It can separate emotions from experiences so we can keep functioning. But what happens when years later, a trigger hits… and you don’t understand why it feels so big?This episode explores:• Emotional numbness and dissociation• How the brain protects us from overwhelm• Being silenced and how that shapes identity• Trauma stacking over time• Miscarriage, grief, and complex emotions• Why triggers are stored memories, not attacks• Conditioning yourself to move toward feelings instead of awayResilience isn’t the absence of emotion.It’s the ability to feel without collapsing.If you’ve ever wondered why something from years ago still affects you… or why you feel nothing when you think you “should” feel something… this conversation might help.Watch the full episode now. And if it resonates, share your experience in the comments. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

The Body Remembers: Pain, Conditioning & Listening to the WhispersIn this episode, I explore the idea that the body remembers.We often think of memory as something that lives in the brain, but our bodies hold patterns too. From muscle memory to immune memory, we are constantly conditioning our bodies to respond in certain ways. The question is: what have we taught our bodies to ignore?As a former massage therapist, I saw firsthand how different people experience pain. Some clients had extremely high pain tolerance. Others were much more sensitive. Over time, I began to notice a pattern:Many of us were trained, early on, to push through discomfort.Stub your toe? Keep going.Feeling emotional? Work through it.Small ache? Ignore it.Eventually, the body learns not to whisper anymore. It waits until it has to scream.In this episode, I talk about:What muscle memory and immune memory teach us about conditioningHow high pain tolerance can become disconnectionWhy “no pain, no gain” isn’t always trueThe subtle ways we stop listening to our bodiesHow resilience and suppression are not the same thingA story about a physical therapist who told a client to “talk to her toes”The connection between physical awareness and emotional awarenessTough love, childhood conditioning, and the skills it gave meGrowing up navigating train systems in Japan and what that taught me about independenceThere is strength in resilience.But there is also strength in awareness.We don’t have to stop functioning in society. We don’t have to fall apart every time something hurts. But we can begin asking ourselves:What did I feel today?Where did I ignore myself?What is whispering that I haven’t acknowledged?The body keeps score.The body adapts.The body learns what we teach it.The real work might be unlearning the parts where we disconnected. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

This episode was supposed to be about muscle memory and cellular memory.Instead, it became something else.I watched one of my previous recordings and noticed the long pauses. The ums. The silences. The rambling. And instead of deleting it or re-recording it like I’ve done so many times in the past, I kept going.In this episode, I share:Why I started recording in the first placeThe specific fear that has followed me into adulthoodHow perfectionism used to stop me from publishing anythingWhat writing newsletters as a massage therapist taught me about authenticityWhy I stopped trying to “sound professional”How nine years of massage therapy may have literally conditioned the way I speakThe connection between silence, thinking, and muscle memoryAnd why I’m choosing messy growth over polished paralysisAfter shutting down my massage therapy business last year, I noticed something unexpected: my brain is conditioned to think slowly and speak deliberately. When you massage for nine years, you learn to be quiet, to feel, to think while your hands work. That rhythm stayed with me.So maybe these pauses aren’t flaws.Maybe they’re conditioning.And if we can condition ourselves into silence…we can condition ourselves into something else too.Reflection QuestionWhat have you conditioned yourself to become?And is it still serving you?If This ResonatedI’m not here to be perfect.I’m here to grow in public.If you’re someone who appreciates honest evolution, thank you for being here.Subscribe to follow the journey.— Cat Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Cat unpacks why some people see a new experience as thrilling while others feel frozen by fear. Using travel, diving, first heartbreaks, pain tolerance, and even old-school Nintendo as examples, she explores the idea that our comfort level is trained through repetition. Fear isn’t the enemy, it’s a signal. The goal is learning how to listen without letting it drive the car.What you’ll hear in this episodeWhy crossing borders (county, state, country) feels wildly different depending on your life experienceHow “conditioning” works like muscle memory for the brainThe difference between fear of the unknown vs. the excitement of the unknownWhy practice with new things lowers panic and raises confidenceA Gen X Nintendo lesson: restarting from zero and learning patience (no saved games!)Relationship “firsts” as emotional conditioning: first love, first breakup, and what we learn from itA massage therapist’s perspective on pain tolerance and what the body learns to expectA personal travel story: learning independence through navigating Tokyo trains as a kidThe hidden gift of getting lost: trusting you can find your way backKey takeaways1) Comfort is trained, not assignedYour “comfort zone” isn’t your personality, it’s your practice history. The more you’ve done something (travel, change, uncertainty, starting over), the less your brain treats it like danger.2) Fear is information, not a stop signFear often shows up to protect you, especially if you’ve been hurt or blindsided before. The trick is listening for the lesson without letting fear shrink your world.3) Repetition rewires your reactionsJust like going to the gym trains muscles, trying new experiences trains your nervous system. Consistency teaches your brain: “I can survive this.”4) “Starting over” builds patience and resilienceFrom classic video games to real life, starting again and again builds a quiet strength. You learn you can reset without falling apart.5) Independence grows from being trusted with responsibilityCat shares how her dad trained her to observe landmarks, navigate train systems, and problem-solve when lost. That early conditioning created confidence that still shows up today.Quotes (pull-outs for Substack formatting)“What you condition yourself to experience is where your comfort lands.”“Fear is there to protect you, but don’t let it hinder you.”“The more you let yourself experience things, the more fear can turn into excitement.”“I’m not scared of getting lost… I’m confident I can find my way back.”Reflection prompts (for readers)What’s one thing you call “scary” that might actually just be “unfamiliar”?Where did you learn your current comfort level: family, past experiences, or lack of repetition?What’s a small “borderline” you can cross this week (a new place, a new conversation, a new habit)?When fear shows up for you, what is it trying to protect?Where in your life have you already proven you can “find your way back”?Try this tiny challengePick one new experience that’s low-stakes but slightly uncomfortable. Do it once this week. Then do it again next week. Your brain loves receipts. 🧠✨Tags / SEO keywordsconditioning, fear of the unknown, comfort zone, nervous system, resilience, confidence, new experiences, travel mindset, independence, personal growth, Cat UnmutedCall to action (end of post)If this episode resonated, hit subscribe so you don’t miss the next one. And if you know someone who’s standing at the edge of a big change, send this their way. 💛 Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I talk about the hard experiences that “mute” us, and why we actually need them to learn, grow, and develop real compassion. I share a few examples, like how falling is part of learning (for birds, kids, and honestly… all of us), and why experience is the real teacher.I also dive into how trauma can create fear and control, and how that control can accidentally spill onto the people we love. I tell a personal story about trying to protect my brother from struggling, and the moment I realized my “help” was really control. When I finally let go, everything changed, not just for him, but for me too.And I connect that back to my own rock bottoms, including miscarriage, and how that pain became the doorway to writing my books, starting this podcast, and finally using my voice.In This EpisodeWhy hardships can “mute” your authenticity, but also teach you how to reclaim itHow experience builds skill (and why avoiding pain can delay growth)The difference between compassion and comparisonWhy trauma often creates fear, and how fear tries to control the futureThe moment I realized I was trying to “save” my brother… and how it held him backWhat changed when I stopped asking, stopped advising, and just let him beHow letting go of control gives people room to riseReframing painful events: “What can this experience bring me?”How miscarriage led to writing three books and finding my voiceKey TakeawaysYou can’t learn what you refuse to experience.Compassion isn’t competition. Pain doesn’t need to be compared to be valid.Control often comes from fear, not love, even when it’s dressed as “helping.”Letting people struggle doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means you trust their growth.Some experiences can’t be avoided, but you can choose what they turn into.Quotes to Pull for a Graphic / Caption“The best teacher is experience.”“Fear creates control to keep you safe, but it can also keep you stuck.”“I realized my control had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me.”“What can this experience bring you?”“Letting go made a whole world of difference.”Reflection QuestionsWhere are you trying to control things because you’re afraid?Are you helping someone… or trying to prevent them from learning?What’s one painful experience that later brought something good into your life?If you stopped fighting what happened, what could you build from it?Call to ActionIf this episode hit home for you, like, subscribe, and share it with someone who’s trying to grow through something hard. I’ll see you next week. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Cat reflects on identity, change, and the unexpected advantages that come from being uprooted. From growing up across Japan, Taiwan, and the United States, to learning how to say no, to rock-bottom moments that forced self-definition, this episode explores how changing environments can unlock versions of ourselves we were always meant to become.Cat shares deeply personal stories about people-pleasing, losing friendships, reclaiming her voice, and how life transitions, even painful ones, can become catalysts for growth. She also reflects on safety, belonging, motherhood, miscarriage, and how finding her voice led to writing three books and starting this podcast.This episode is about choosing yourself, even when it costs you familiarity, approval, or comfort.What You’ll Hear in This EpisodeHow frequent childhood moves shaped Cat’s ability to evolve her identityA pivotal childhood moment when saying “no” cost her friendshipsWhy people often resist your growth when it disrupts their access to youHow changing environments can make personal change easierThe difference between losing friends and outgrowing themRock-bottom moments in adulthood that forced radical self-honestyThe role of safety, place, and belonging in identity formationWhy leaving a community can be necessary to become who you need to beHow miscarriage became a turning point that unlocked Cat’s voiceThe connection between grief, creativity, and authenticityWhy focusing on what went “right” can transform how you experience hardshipKey ThemesIdentity evolutionBoundaries and self-advocacyPeople-pleasing and manipulationEnvironment as a catalyst for changeSafety, home, and belongingGrief as a doorway to purposeReclaiming your voiceChoosing growth over comfortPowerful TakeawaysYou don’t need permission to changeLosing people doesn’t always mean you did something wrongEnvironments can either support or suffocate who you’re becomingRock bottom isn’t an ending, it’s often a resetYour voice may be buried, not gonePainful experiences can carry hidden advantagesReflection QuestionsWho were you taught to be in order to belong?What parts of yourself did you silence to keep the peace?If you could start fresh in a new environment, who would you choose to be?What “unwanted” experience in your life actually led you somewhere better?Mentioned in This EpisodeCat’s miscarriage memoir seriesThe decision to close a successful businessMoving toward a life aligned with safety, freedom, and authenticityThe journey toward OkinawaFinding the courage to speak, write, and be seenConnect with CatIf this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share.Your support helps this message reach others who may be standing at the edge of their own becoming.New episodes weekly.See you next time 🤍 Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

What started as a five-foot inflatable rubber duck strapped to my Jeep during one of the darkest seasons of my life slowly became something much bigger than I ever expected.During my miscarriage and the numbness that followed, I was desperate to feel something. Joy. Laughter. Connection. Anything.That search led me to an absurd, joyful decision: buying a giant inflatable duck and driving it around town.What I didn’t expect was how people would respond.Honks. Waves. Shouts of “I love your duck!”Strangers smiling.My inner child waking up.In this episode, I talk about:* The Jeep + duck culture and how Lucky became part of it* How postpartum depression showed up for me as emotional numbness* Why joy, even silly joy, can be deeply healing* How Lucky the BYRD got its name (Big Yellow Rubber Duck 🦆)* How this duck became the symbol behind my book series* Why my third book is called Turning the Page* The people, resources, and community that helped me heal* And how I personally sign, wrap, and package every book ordered through my websiteThis episode is about grief, resilience, and how unexpected joy can crack open a closed heart.If you’re walking through loss, transition, or a season where everything feels like it’s changing… this one’s for you.✨ Want to follow along or find my books?Visit joshandcat.com and click Follow Our Socials under Our Story.📚 Books are available on Amazon🎁 Signed & gift-wrapped copies are available directly through my website (with little surprises inside)If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe, and share.I’ll see you next week. 💛 Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome back to Cat, Unmuted.In this second episode, I reflect on what it felt like to release my very first episode and how big that step really was for me. In the beginning, sharing my voice, my thoughts, and my truth felt uncomfortable. Talking about my throat chakra wasn’t just symbolic. It was real. It was about learning how to speak, share, and be seen.Since then, something beautiful has happened. I now have three books out in the world. Three pieces of my life, my story, and my truth that people can read, hold, and move through in their own time. That still amazes me.Yes, there was grief along the way. But out of that grief, a new identity was born. One that I’m learning to love. One that feels honest, strong, and real. The grieving wasn’t for nothing. It shaped who I am becoming.This episode is short, simple, and heartfelt. Just a moment of reflection, gratitude, and grounding into how far I’ve come.If you’re enjoying what you’re hearing, don’t forget to like and subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming next.I’ll see you in the next episode. Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Cat, UnmutedCat, Unmuted is a reflective audio space where lived experience, truth-telling, and quiet clarity meet. In this welcome episode, Cat shares who she is, why this space exists, and what “unmuted” really means. No fixing. No performing. Just honest reflection, out loud.This episode is an introduction to Cat, Unmuted and the intention behind it.In it, I share:- Who I am and where my voice comes from- What “unmuted” means in real life- Why this space is reflective, not performative- What you can expect from future episodesThis podcast isn’t about teaching you how to live.It’s about naming what’s already happening inside you.This space is:- Reflective, not reactive- Honest, not polished- Slow, not optimized- Lived, not theoreticalThis space is not:- A self-help formula- A highlight reel- A place you have to “keep up”- A space that rushes healingYou don’t need to agree with me to be here.You just need to be willing to listen.This is for you if:- You’ve ever swallowed your truth to keep the peace- You’re tired of over-explaining yourself- You feel like your voice has been on mute, even to yourself- You want reflection without pressure- If you’re in a season of unlearning, untangling, or remembering yourself, you’re in the right place.Future episodes may include:- Personal reflections and lived experiences- Uncomfortable truths said gently- Conversations about boundaries, grief, identity, and change- Quiet realizations that land later, not louderSome episodes will be short.Some will wander.All of them will be honest.A Gentle InvitationYou don’t need to listen perfectly.You don’t need to take notes.You don’t need to do anything with this.Let it sit with you.Come back when you need it.If this resonates, you’re welcome to:Subscribe here on SubstackShare the episode with someone who needs permission to exhaleListen wherever this podcast is sharedAbout CatI’m Catherine (Cat) Carnell.I’m a writer, unconventional healer/coach, and storyteller.I speak from lived experience, not mastery.This space exists because silence can be heavy, and naming things can make them lighter.This is Cat, Unmuted.“Nothing here needs to be fixed.It just needs to be heard.” Get full access to Cat Unmuted at catlcarnell.substack.com/subscribe