Clearer, not Louder with Beatrice Kamau
by Beatrice Kamau
Clearer, Not Louder (formerly The Self Love Fix) is a podcast by Beatrice Kamau for the whimsically unserious (but serious about life!) girls, exploring discernment, the power of the voice, and what becomes possible when you learn to trust and use your own—without losing your joyfulness along the way.In a world that encourages constant reacting, overexplaining, performing, and taking everything very seriously, this is a space for getting clearer about what's actually happening to you and around you, saying what you mean, and remaining wonderfully alive while you do it.Each episode explores the subtle dynamics shaping our relationships, decisions, and inner lives: the moments when something feels off, when we override our God-given wisdom, when "I'll wait and see" quietly becomes self-negotiation, or when we realize it might be time to stop explaining and simply act accordingly.Through thoughtful reflections, insightful conversations, and a sprinkle of humor throughout, Clearer, Not
Episodes
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35. Why does it Bother Me When Someone Doesnt Like Me- Even When I Like Myself?
In this week’s episode, we discuss why it can bother you so much when someone doesn’t like you—even when you genuinely like yourself—and what may be happening underneath the urge to either change their mind or figure out why. We also explore how knowing how God views you can completely change the...
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Ep 34. Why You Struggle to “Just Stop” Comparing Yourself to Others
In this week’s episode, we discuss why the advice to “be content with what you have”—while true—can still feel extremely difficult to put into practice when you can’t seem to stop comparing yourself to other people. We go beneath the surface-level advice to explore one major, often-overlooked...
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Ep 33. On Living a Slower, More Intentional, Less Chronically Online Life
In this week’s episode, we discuss what it looks like to live a slower, more intentional—and less chronically online—life by reducing the noise, embracing the ordinary offline moments of life, and reconnecting with your originality and individuality. What you’ll learn in this episode: How to...
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Ep 32. Relationships (and friendships!) Shouldn't Feel like an Internal Battlefield
In this week’s episode, we discuss what it means when you get along with someone but still can’t rest within the relationship or friendship—and how the internal war between what you keep noticing and what you keep trying to explain away may reveal a deeper difference in values. What you’ll learn…
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Ep 31. Part 3: The Loudest Boundaries are Unspoken (Don't Take Yourself Lightly)
In Part Three of The Loudest Boundaries Are Unspoken, we discuss how committing to not taking yourself lightly—that is, carrying yourself with high regard—is an unspoken boundary that speaks volumes about how others should treat you. What you’ll learn in this episode: The TRUE, firm foundation…
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Ep 30. Part 2: The Loudest Boundaries are Unspoken
In this episode, we explore how to express a boundary without feeling controlling, rude, or as though you’re being “too much.” In Part Two of The Loudest Boundaries Are Unspoken, we chat about managing your attention as a form of boundary—and how people can learn what you are and are not…
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Ep 29. Part 1: The Loudest Boundaries are Unspoken
In this episode, we explore the boundaries people can FEEL—the kind that indirectly let people know how to treat you without you having to bark instructions at them. This conversation is especially for the girl who already knows when someone has made her uncomfortable but feels squirmy and…
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Ep 28. Making Friends in Adulthood as an Ambitious Woman + My Experience at the Create and Cultivate Festival
In this episode, we explore what it looks like to make friends in adulthood as an ambitious woman—from getting past the beliefs that make putting yourself out there feel harder than it needs to, to finding people who are actually OPEN to connection. We also chat why ambitious women need ambitious...
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Ep.27 Being Clear Doesn't Mean Telling People What to do
In this episode we explore how to remain your warm, kind, and whimsical self while being clear and direct (you can be both!). We also discuss why being clear doesn't mean telling people what they can and cannot do and how to be clear and direct sans the fear of being rude, blunt, or "mean." What...
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Ep 26. Can You Tell Yourself No?
***PSST, NO EPISODE NEXT WEEK SEPTEMBER 10, WE WILL BE BACK SEPTEMBER 17 IN LIGHT OF LABOR DAY*** In this episode, we chat: Why being comfortable and confident setting boundaries with other people might start with getting better at telling yourself no—and what your day-to-day choices can teach…
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Ep 25. What If You're More Interesting Than You Think?
In this episode, we chat: Why you should consider yourself—and the things you're drawn to—interesting and worth paying attention to, not just other people, and how uncovering the unique perspectives God has placed within you connects to the purpose over your life. What you'll learn in this…
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Ep 24 Do They See You for Who You Are or Are They Just in Proximity to You?
In this episode, we chat: The FINE line between what it's like to have a connection-- a friendship, a relationship etc-- with someone who is delighted to learn the ins and outs of you and someone who... wants to relate to you on their terms What you'll learn in this episode: What it looks like…
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Ep 23. Can You Stay Clear When People Challenge Your Thinking?
In this episode, we chat: How to stay CLEAR AND FIRM on what you know, want, and believe when someone else's pressure or reactions challenge your boundaries, values and opinions. What you'll learn in this episode: Why a friendly "come onnn" after you've already said no is worth paying attention...
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Ep 22. Do They Love You or... Do They Love What Happens to Them Because of You?
In this episode, we chat: The fine line between someone loving you and someone loving who they ARE and who they BECOME around you. What you'll learn in this episode: Why someone can genuinely enjoy being around you—and still be more attached to how they feel with you than to who you actually are....
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Ep 21 On Giving Everyone the Benefit of the Doubt but... You
In this episode, we chat: Why it's high time you stop giving everyone but *yourself* the benefit of the doubt when something is off with that friendship, that job, that relationship etc. What you'll learn in this episode: • Why the benefit of the doubt becomes expensive when you're the only one...
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Ep 20. You Don't Have to Become Unrecognizable Before You Leave
In this episode, we chat: Why you don't have to wait until you are a shell of yourself, hanging on a thread, practically on life support to leave or change your boundaries in that friendship, relationship, job, or business partnership. What you'll learn in this episode: • The difference between...
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Ep 19 "I've Already Invested Too Much" (Says Who?)
In this episode, we chat: Staying in a relationship, job, career, or friendship longer than you planned because of the investment of....time even when you're stressed, unhappy, and dissatisfied and... how to gain the courage to choose different. What you'll learn in this episode: • The sunk-cost...
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Ep 18 Am I Overthinking it or is Something Off?
In this episode, we chat: That moment when you're getting to know a friend, someone you're dating, a new workplace, someone you are considering collaborating with and you feel something is... off. You can't put your finger on it, but something isn't... right. But are you overthinking it? Are you...
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Ep 17. How Allowing Embarrassment builds Agency and Confidence
In this episode, we chat: Embarrassment-- it has a bad reputation. Let's fix that. This week, we introduce a fresh perspective on confidence, embarrassment, and why your willingness to look a little foolish may be one of your greatest assets. What you'll learn in this episode: • The relationship...
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Ep 16 Routines and Consistency for the Spontaneous, Whimsical Girl
In this episode, we chat: Why you're not "bad" at sticking to routines, inconsistent, or undisciplined... you just might need to tweak how you approach routines especially if you're a spontaneous, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type of gal. What you'll learn in this episode: How to actually STICK…
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Ep 15. Protect Your Whimsy: Friendship Edition
In this episode, we chat: How they say... you're the "sum of the 5 closest people around you." And while I personally find that particular phrase to be a bit corny, I've come to realize... there's wisdom in that phrase, especially, for the whimsy girl. What you'll learn in this episode: What...
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Ep 14 The Return and Reclamation of Whimsy
In this episode, we chat: Whimsy as aliveness, joy, optimism, delight, and vibrancy--- NOT childishness-- and why all things whimsical deserve a front seat in your life. What you'll learn in this episode: Why whimsy AND sophistication can exist together at once-- a conversation on how paradox can...
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Ep 13 Betrayal, Grief, & Why No One Is Above the Program
In this episode, we chat: The grief and utter SHOCK that comes when relationships and friendships you thought would last... forever end. In this episode, we chat how remembering that no one is above the program might actually take you from difficulty accepting what happened to a calm peace and...
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Ep 12. Arriving in Singlehood (and Letting Go of Idolatry of Marriage & Relationships)
In this episode, we chat: What it's like when being single no longer feels like a problem to solve, a challenge to overcome, or something to trevail. In this episode, we discover the confidence, security, contentment, and PEACE that comes from arriving in singlehood and we confront the idolatry…
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Ep 11 Love is Not Enough Part 5-- Dating Lessons from My 30's.
Why love... is not enough. Part 5. In this episode I continue discussing what I have come to realize is important ESPECIALLY concerning marriage, children, and a future with someone upon entering my 30's-- and what I believe will benefit you greatly, too! You're going to want a pen and pad for…
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Ep. 10 Love is Not Enough-- Part 4 Dating Lessons From my 30's
Why love... is not enough. Part 4. In this episode I continue discussing what I have come to realize is important ESPECIALLY concerning marriage, children, and a future with someone upon entering my 30's-- and what I believe will benefit you greatly, too! You're going to want a pen and pad for…
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Ep 9 Love is Not Enough Part 3-- Dating Lessons from my 30's
In this episode, we chat: Why love... is not enough. Part 3. In this episode I continue discussing what I have come to realize is important ESPECIALLY concerning marriage, children, and a future with someone upon entering my 30's-- and what I believe will benefit you greatly, too! You're going to...
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Ep 8 Love is Not Enough Part 2-- Dating Lessons From my 30's
In this episode, we chat: Why love... is not enough. Part 2. What I have come to realize is important ESPECIALLY concerning marriage, children, and a future with someone upon entering my 30's-- and what I believe will benefit you greatly, too! You're going to want a pen and pad for this one! What...
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Ep 7 Love is Not Enough Part 1-- Lessons from my 20's.
In this episode, we chat: Why love... is not enough. The mistakes I made in my previous relationships. And what I got RIGHT in my 20's when it came to dating and what I undermined and didn't realize was important ESPECIALLY concerning marriage, children, and a future with someone. You're going to...
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Ep 6. What Are You Willing to Endure?
In this episode, we chat: A fresh perspective on the the ever-recylced conversastions around "Know[ing] Your Standards" and "Know[ing] Your Worth" through discussion of how to begin putting it into practice by examining and holding a magnifying glass to what you are willing to endure What you'll...
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Ep 5 On Boundaries and Having a Strong "Internal No"
In this episode, we chat: What it really looks like to have a strong internal "no"—the kind that doesn't wobble when it comes to your standards and principles—and why some of our no's feel clear while others feel… negotiable. What you'll learn in this episode: What it looks like when your "no"...
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Ep 4 "When 'Let's See How It Goes' Costs You: A Red Flag You're Probably Overlooking in Work, Business, and Relationships"
In this episode we chat: Why we keep saying "let's see how it goes", what it costs is to ignore the GLARING red flag when something feels.... off, and how to start thinking and moving differently. You'll hear how to spot where you're taking on unnecessary misery and CONFUSION and how to make...
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Ep. 3 How You Deliver Honesty Matters
In this episode we chat: An HONEST conversation about how delivery MATTERS when it comes to honesty inasmuchas the message itself and how it can either strengthen or erode trust when it comes to relationships both romantic and platonic What You'll Learn in This Episode: Navigating "I was just…
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Ep 2. Restraint as a Form of Power
In this episode we chat: Stewarding your voice when it comes to handling conflict, frustration, and points of contention with people without stepping out of YOUR character and simultaneously, without being a doormat. What You'll Learn in This Episode: How to handle situations where you're...
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Ep 1. Presence over performance
Welcome to the FIRST epsiode of Clearer, not Louder with Beatrice Kamau (formerly known as the Self Love Fix Podcast)! In this episode we chat: The difference between presence and performance—and why leaning into presence can cause effortlessly shift your ability to connect to others in everyday...
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A NEW podcast name is coming: What's happening to the Self Love Fix Podcast
Hi friend! It's been... a while. I know. Forgive me, girl. We're back but get this... we're coming back with a NEW name, NEW vision, same voice, same vibes 3.12.26. Tune in to this trailor to find out the new podcast name and find out: The new vision for the podcast, where we're headed What we've...
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266. An Announcement that Unexpectedly Turned into an Episode.
In this episode we chat: Leaning on God's wisdom and not your own understanding What's going to be happening hear on the pod for the next 2 months! WORK WITH BEATRICE: Join the FREE Valued Woman challenge 10 day challenge below to enjoy 10 EASY to apply tips to start VALUING yourself STRAIGHT to...
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265. Do you REALLY Value Yourself like You Say You Do?
In this episode we chat: The Proverbs 31 woman and how she demonstrated how she VALUES herself FINDING time to maintain and care for yourself even with a busy schedule-- it's there I promise!! How the way you carry yourself INFLUENCES how people treat you WORK WITH BEATRICE: I'm running a free 10...
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264. 30 things I learned in the last 30 years-- It's my birthday!.
In this episode we chat: The 30 things I've learned since turning 30! I promise these are non-generic and totally worth the listen! WORK WITH BEATRICE: Click here to catch the valued masterclass at $19.95 ONLY through midnight 1/23/25 in honor of my 30th birthday! Valued is:a powerful, 52 minute...
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263. Setting (And Executing!) Yearly Goals, Motivation, and Getting it Together for 2025!.
In this episode we chat: What I'm doing different in 2025 vs 2024 when it comes to goal setting and why 2024 was quite... directionless. My yearly goal setting + executing process (and why vision is KING when it comes to goal setting) Actionable tips all along the way on how to set, execute, AND...
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"Your Truth, My Truth, Spirituality, Personal Development, and... Christianity, a much needed conversation"
In this episode we chat: The Personal Development to Spirituality to "My Truth" Pipeline Manifestation and what they DON'T tell you about the spiritual world God, the Truth, + the Spiritual Realm WORK WITH BEATRICE: Click here to join Valued the masterclass at $77 where I teach you how to go from...
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256. Is dating becoming an idol for you?.
In this episode we chat.... Why it's VERY HARMFUL to "see" how things are going and "wait it out" when you KNOW he is a walking dealbreaker How to STOP undermining your dealbreakers when you come across the "nice guy" the guy that seems like "the one" What it looks like to have dating/the…
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255. Part 2 Confidence vs. Pseudo-confidence.
In this episode we chat.... Letting go of OVER-EXPLAINING or JUSTIFYING yourself + your decisions How talking TOO MUCH can actually be a sign of a LACK of confidence Why confident people say LESS WORK WITH BEATRICE: Click here to join the FREE 6 day email challenge In Your Feminine Era CLICK HERE...
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254. Confidence vs. Pseudo-confidence (Part 1???)
In this episode we chat.... Confidence vs. FAKE confidence and how to tell the difference Ways insecurity masks itself through FAKE confidence How walking in FAKE confidence is actually incredibly manipulative WORK WITH BEATRICE: CLICK HERE TO CATCH THE SCHOOL OF RELAXED DATING™: THE FOUNDATIONS...
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254. Confidence vs. Pseudo-confidence (Part 1???)
In this episode we chat.... Confidence vs. FAKE confidence and how to tell the difference Ways insecurity masks itself through FAKE confidence How walking in FAKE confidence is actually incredibly manipulative WORK WITH BEATRICE: CLICK HERE TO CATCH THE SCHOOL OF RELAXED DATING™: THE FOUNDATIONS...
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253. Can't get over him? Listen to this.
In this episode we chat.... That feeling of OBSESSION with him wanting you back and what to do about it The surprising reason behind the OBSESSION that I guarantee you are not aware of Leaning on God during this time for strength and the ability to LET GO WORK WITH BEATRICE: CLICK HERE TO CATCH…
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252. Are You Dating a Man or a Project?
In this episode we chat.... The ONE wounded feminine trait you have that keeps causing you to get FRUSTRATED and EXHAUSTED by dating The dangers of being unequally yoked mentally and emotionally with a man Why dating a man who is operating on a mental and emotional level that is underdeveloped is…
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250. If You're Doubting the Connection or Relationship, Listen to This
In this episode we chat.... How to navigate doubting the romantic connection you're in whether you're single or in a relationship The two types of doubt that exist in dating and relationships Walking in God's best for you WORK WITH BEATRICE: I am running a FREE love + dating masterclass event...
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249. Why being single is a position of PRIVILEGE
In this episode we chat.... How the patriarchy has distorted your view on your relationship status + what it means about you The privilege in being single that most do not SEE How to THRIVE in your singleness WORK WITH BEATRICE: I am running a FREE love + dating masterclass event called The…
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248. If You've Went Through a Break Up or Feel Jaded in dating + love, listen to this!
In this episode we chat.... How I was able to bounce back after my break up SO QUICKLY How to RESTORE your belief in love and ability to love after a break up or after someone betrayed your trust Forgiveness after a relationship or betrayal WORK WITH BEATRICE: I am running a FREE love + dating...
About this show
Clearer, Not Louder (formerly The Self Love Fix) is a podcast by Beatrice Kamau for the whimsically unserious (but serious about life!) girls, exploring discernment, the power of the voice, and what becomes possible when you learn to trust and use your own—without losing your joyfulness along the way.In a world that encourages constant reacting, overexplaining, performing, and taking everything very seriously, this is a space for getting clearer about what's actually happening to you and around you, saying what you mean, and remaining wonderfully alive while you do it.Each episode explores the subtle dynamics shaping our relationships, decisions, and inner lives: the moments when something feels off, when we override our God-given wisdom, when "I'll wait and see" quietly becomes self-negotiation, or when we realize it might be time to stop explaining and simply act accordingly.Through thoughtful reflections, insightful conversations, and a sprinkle of humor throughout, Clearer, Not
Hosted by
Beatrice Kamau
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