PODCAST · society
Conk's Brain
by Deedre Conkey
Become a Paid Subscriber: https://anchor.fm/conksbrain/subscribeConk’s Brain is my podcast debut, curated to inspire and promote self-authenticity and to provide support by exploring conversations around mental health and personal growth, while providing actionable steps and tools to encourage self-love.A resource you can use to learn about my personal journey and experiences with mental and physical health issues, including anxiety and ADHD, while learning to embrace your own truth. My goal is to help you become the hero of your journey. If you aspire to elevate your potential and live life to the fullest, listen to discover a new perspective today.
Episodes
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Civil disobedience …
Thanks for listening! If this post speaks to you, I’d be honored if you to pass it on. Conk’s Brain is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a subscriber. You can also share the love and buy me a cup of coffee on Ko-fi. To hear more, visit...
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Creation is lonely…
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published Is it selfish to want? Palms upturned to the sky, cover my eyes in exhaustion and despair. I clamber and claw, just trying to scale this impossible wall - is there even anyone on the other side? To create is lonely -...
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Comfortable underpants…
I recently found the most comfortable underpants in the universe: excessively high waisted, super soft, very stretchy. I honestly forget I’m wearing them and would definitely not even bother with pants if I thought I wouldn’t be arrested for indecent exposure (or my butt wouldn’t freeze off in...
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I dream…
I dream of the life I could be living, riding the ebb and flow of mountains - breathing deeply of the air and sky and sea. I dream of daffodils and tall green forests, tiny cottages in a mystical wood. I dream of having less but gaining more, of clean rooms with comfortable well worn furniture,...
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Don’t feed the trolls…
This morning, I find myself ruminating once again on the words of Charles Bukowski “We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us”. I have decided that I’m going into 2025 laughing like a madman. The world is chaos and the only thing we can control...
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To Nikki Giovanni…
Fifteen is tempestuous, hurtling through time and space at break-neck speeds - desperately searching for anything you can cling on to. In the back of the library, Spring of 1997 to be precise, I crashed full stop into a solid anchor. Nikki Giovanni - the first poet I ever loved. She metered me to...
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The little Haiku that could…
Lately, I have been singularly obsessed with Haikus. I’m not particularly adept at writing them and high school me would rather have showed up naked to class than embrace that level of constraint. Maybe it’s because turning 43 did something to my brain, or maybe it’s the impending political...
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Chaos…
Chaos is truth, control is an illusion. We hold on tightly with both hands to all the things we believe we can control - fretting, worrying, twisting our insides in knots, waking up in pools of our own cold sweat certain that we can conceive every possible future, if we never sleep. But outside…
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Cosmic dust…
Lately I have been obsessed with death. Not so much the inevitability, but what comes after. I am afraid of not existing, of existing eternally some place terrible, or drifting endlessly through a deep black nothing - concious of the emptiness of it all. But we all die, don’t we. It’s the one...
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Thanksgiving is messy…
Does the thought of Thanksgiving fill you with warm fuzzies and joy or existential dread? I have a feeling that this holiday season is going to be an adjustment for a great many people (and by adjustment, I mean slamming full force into a brick wall without a crash helmet). After the wounds...
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Don’t let the mother f@#kers get you down…
I know, I’m not supposed to swear. Mom says it’s not “ladylike”, but who the hell wants to be ladylike anyway? I’d rather be the bear. Oh dear, Did I just go there too? Guess I’m over zipping my lips and holding my tongue and tripping over socially awkward apologies. The news is all sharp angles...
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My brain is soup…
Exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it. My brain is so steeped in stress, I’m pretty sure it now constitutes as soup. I have ignored all of my own advice about setting limits on social media doom scrolling, going outside, and even putting on actual pants. I promised myself that I was going to…
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Unapologetic…
I despise the word “too”. Too loud, Too talkative, Too boisterous, Too tenacious, Too much. I don’t fit in boxes, Defy hard lines and sharp edges. I swear liberally, love fiercely, dream so big I sometimes fear I’ll explode. I hemorrhage glitter, hit ‘em with the razzle dazzle, leave chaotic...
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Awkward…
I’m awkward, sorry, I’m awkward. All elbows and knees and oversized feet, crashing into immovable objects for lack of depth perception. I just want to make friends, connect - talk until my lips fall off about anything and everything, and nothing all at once. I wear my heart on my sleeve,...
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I’m tired of hearing “my vote doesn’t count”…
I don’t want to write this article. I’d rather curl up in the fetal position in front of my electric fireplace and listen to my compilation records from Vinyl Moon while the world burns, but here we are. As an English teacher, I taught many, many books about dystopian hellscapes (both real and...
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Unmasked…
I stumbled on a poem that I wrote in June of 2020. It’s every bit as relevant now as it was four years ago, maybe more so. The weight of the world crashing down like a tidal wave, threatening to drown us out at sea. So many voices screaming, crying, demanding to be heard. No more silence, no more...
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I am exhausted…
I can’t even count the number of times in my life I’ve heard the adage “Never talk about religion or politics in polite company”. Like every family, we had a few who had strong opinions and stated them loudly (and often), but my day to day life was largely devoid of “politics”. My grandparents…
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Time…
Time gets away from me. It just wonders off to idle pursuits consumed by the horror and splendor and joy and pain of living. It’s like being on the highway in the city at night, blurs of color created by the myriad passing cars - beautiful and disorienting. One day we are children, chasing the...
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I am afraid of trolls..
I have struggled epically with my desire to connect with others through writing and social media and my outright fear of internet trolls. As a high school English teacher my classroom was often a minefield of teenage angst and parental criticism. I would spend hours (sometimes days) researching…
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You need to calm down…
One of my absolute favorite memes goes a little something like this, “Never in the history of telling someone to calm down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down”. Think about it. Really picture a situation in which you are absolutely losing your shit and think about the feelings...
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Keep Swimming…
Pain is temporary. Chronic pain is, well… chronic. It flows through you like a deep black river. Treading, floating, dog paddle, side stroke. The swimmer’s strength is irrelevant. Eventually you’ll be pulled under, gasping and flailing - making pleas to the universe, wondering if this will be the...
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Staying sane…
On this sunny 4th of July morning in the year 2024, my dogs are nervously biting their toenails as fireworks intermittently explode all around us (this will only continue in fervor and intensity as the day wears on). I feel no joy or sense of celebratory enthusiasm, but am instead battling what...
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Creation…
It starts as a hum electricity buzzing beneath my skin, a surge in the back of my brain. The taste of defiance and tenacity metallic on my tongue. The words don’t have to be perfect. Why do I always get hung up on the perfection? Perhaps the act of creation itself is beautiful - messy, imperfect,...
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Social media & healthy boundaries..
Social media would have us believe that literally anyone can achieve anything they set their mind to and follow it up with a series of aspirational pictures about their now perfect lives and the explosion of delirious happiness that comes from living your dreams every single day for the rest of...
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The thick of it…
I’m driving the struggle buss on fire over a cliff. In the thick of it, the cavernous abyss seems so deep and wide it’s insurmountable. An awkward, constantly clumsy dance three steps back for every one step forward. Why can’t I find my rhythm? It’s like the universe is playing only songs I’ve...
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The doom song…
My husband informed me this morning that my negativity has hit critical mass. It’s leaking out of me like toxic ooze and infecting everything in the house. I’m like GIR from Invader Zim eternally sitting in the passenger seat of my own life, enthusiastically singing the doom song on repeat.…
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May the bridges I burn light the way…
Don’t make waves, don’t rock the boat. My first memories - fingers over lips, Shhhhhhhhh. Tip toe tip toe in God’s house - Little girls are sugar and spice and silence. Smile, be friendly, don’t get in the way, Origami fold your dreams so tiny they fit between the cracks. Bite your tongue until…
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Joy…
Joy is tricky, a complicated emotion tossed around like a hot potato from hand to hand. It's beautiful and full of promise, a bright birthday balloon swelling in your chest. But the thing about balloons is, they pop, Sometimes quite unexpectedly, and tattered pieces fall haphazardly to the…
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Get unstuck…
I’ve been digging through the archives of my old blog, which I laid to rest in June of 2023, and stumbled on this gem. At the time I was talking to an amazing art therapist through zoom. If you’ve never tried art therapy, I highly recommend it. There is something very primal and healing about...
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A poem about family…
On my last trip to Kansas City, I picked up a book called “Create a Poem: Writing Prompts for Poets”. I was directed to create a poem about “family” and to use the following words: tree, roots, ancestors, mother, father, children, home, name, tribe, clan. Here is the result of putting pen to…
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Dear Nemesis,
In high school, you were everything I wasn’t. Beautiful, smart, talented, effortlessly thin, loved. I think I envied the love most, the thing I always lacked - fought tooth and nail for, sold away parts of myself to find. You were never unkind, but a sleepover invitation - not on the list for a...
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I would walk 7,500 steps…
Starting something new is hard; starting something over again from the beginning is even harder - especially if your abilities aren’t what they once were. What’s easy is looking back and lamenting all you’ve lost, getting into a depressive funk, and monstering a bag of chips while binge watching...
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Fuck, it’s loud in here…
Fuck, it’s loud in here. Constant voices competing over the noise of what has been, what could be, the terrifying prospects of what might actually be. So many versions of myself, so many ideas, so many dreams, clamoring for attention. They fall over one another like drunken party goers who can’t...
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I don’t want to write…
Join me on a journey through the chaos of Conk’s Brain – where executive dysfunction meets creative ambition and we seize the day, one essay, one poem, and one reckless note at a time. Let’s carpe the damn diem together! To hear more, visit conksbrain.substack.com
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Become a Paid Subscriber: https://anchor.fm/conksbrain/subscribeConk’s Brain is my podcast debut, curated to inspire and promote self-authenticity and to provide support by exploring conversations around mental health and personal growth, while providing actionable steps and tools to encourage self-love.A resource you can use to learn about my personal journey and experiences with mental and physical health issues, including anxiety and ADHD, while learning to embrace your own truth. My goal is to help you become the hero of your journey. If you aspire to elevate your potential and live life to the fullest, listen to discover a new perspective today.
HOSTED BY
Deedre Conkey
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Conk's Brain have?
Conk's Brain currently has 34 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Conk's Brain about?
Become a Paid Subscriber: https://anchor.fm/conksbrain/subscribeConk’s Brain is my podcast debut, curated to inspire and promote self-authenticity and to provide support by exploring conversations around mental health and personal growth, while providing actionable steps and tools to encourage...
How often does Conk's Brain release new episodes?
Conk's Brain has 34 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Conk's Brain?
You can listen to Conk's Brain on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Conk's Brain?
Conk's Brain is created and hosted by Deedre Conkey.
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