Creative Diaries

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lilliankemanis.substack.comDear Listeners,This episode comes at a crucial time in my own personal season of change. For as long as I can remember I’ve been practicing the art of noticing subtle movements that are felt and sensed before any visible changes are seen. Some call it intuition, others call it sensitivity or empathy…I view it as perceptual attunement : the receptive abi…

Dear Listeners,Lately it feels as though I’m making decisions in the dark. I had a big eureka moment the other day and realized I was delaying decision-making because I didn’t have all the information or clarity that I felt I needed to make a move. But I realized that sometimes you have to make a decision and let life fill in the gaps. I’m not in charge of how things will happen, but I am in charge of getting out of my own way and following my gut. (When do we ever have all the information we need anyway? There will always be a leap-of-faith, big or small, when taking a step in a definitive direction.)I recently learned that the etymology of the word “decision” means “to cut” or “to cut off.” Sometimes we need to cut through our own fears by making a decision. We often think that mental clarity needs to come before making a decision, (and sometimes it does), but I am finding more and more that clarity too comes after the choice is made. It is through the embodied experience of deciding that we get the information we need to keep moving forward. In this episode I speak about:* the “sling-shot” effect; the inevitable pull back before leveling up* how avoiding a decision leads to stagnancy* connecting to our authentic wantsAdditionally:🎉 Click here for a FREE masterclass: Somatic Essentials: a guide to embodied living🌟 Somatic Library: Chapter 1, $11, Self Connection & Embodied PresenceThank you for being here. I release public episodes once a month and subscriber episodes approximately 1x per week. I hope you’ll consider becoming a paid subscriber (for $5 per month) to take a deeper dive with me. I’m excited to see where this all takes us 🙂I am only a few clicks away and I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment, share this episode, and become a paid subscriber! Here are some other ways we can connect :Creative Diaries NewsletterMy WebsiteSomatic Therapy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lilliankemanis.substack.com/subscribe

Dear Listeners,Despite some delays in getting my episodes out in February, here we are at the start of a new month, with fresh energy moving. I usually like to do an end-of-the-month recap but even by March 1 (when I recorded this episode) it seemed that February was long gone. And thank goodness for that! I am coming at you from Mazunte, Mexico where I have escaped the worst of New York winter and am now taking refuge in this small beach town. As I open to this new place, and allow this place to open to me, I am with a sudden and obvious realization that “letting go” requires relaxation. And no, I don’t mean relaxing by getting a sun tan on the beach (although that certainly can help), but more-so relaxing into the unknown. When we hold onto something (particularly our burdens), we embody a quality of tension in order to bear its weight. If there’s fear there will likely too be a feeling of tightening, closing, bracing, hypervigilance, and tension. It might seen counter-intuitive to hold onto the things that give us pain, but more often than not, what we fear more is what happens when we let go? Who am I now without this pain? In this episode I explore the topic of letting go in depth:* creating space between you and your pain* letting go through relaxing* changing your perception through somatic awareness* fear of your emotions* going into the darkness* having fun is the pointMay this Pisces and upcoming eclipse season give us the courage to relax into the unknown and release what is no longer ours to hold. 🌊🐠🐬🪼Thank you for being here. I release public episodes once a month and subscriber episodes approximately 1x per week. I hope you’ll consider becoming a paid subscriber (for $5 per month) to take a deeper dive with me. I’m excited to see where this all takes us 🙂I am only a few clicks away and I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment, share this episode, and become a paid subscriber! Here are some other ways we can connect :Creative Diaries NewsletterMy WebsiteSomatic Therapy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lilliankemanis.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lilliankemanis.substack.comDear Listeners,In this episode I share what I am learning about the ways the “freeze” response shows up in my experience as an artist, and also, as a human being who longs to grow into my authenticity. What happens in our systems when we are chronically living outside of our capacity?…When we are giving more than what we have to give?…When we have lost …

Dear Listeners,At the root of what keeps us stuck is fear. This fear has many faces : the face of perfectionism, anxiety, over-thinking, low self-esteem, shame…I’ve thought a lot about how these various faces of fear show up, not only in our behaviors and beliefs around what is possible, but also in our body. How does our fear manifest as a nervous system state and what happens when our body registers a threat? Do we freeze? Run away? Try to change ourselves or other people? Attempt to control?In this episode I speak about what it takes to maintain forward movement even when fear is present. If you always wait to feel ready, you will be waiting forever. Getting “unstuck” and inspiring change and growth in your life requires growing capacity to feel the very uncomfortable feeling of fear. How do you do this? First, learning how to soothe yourself when the fear is too big. And second, get to know the sensation of fear in your body and find more options for movement. Some highlights from this episode include:* my intention of these Creative Diaries* Creative-Healing Group (starting this February)* avoidance due to fear* being on your growth edge and taking risks* energetics of getting “unstuck”* nervous system soothing* growing nervous system capacityThank you for being here. I release public episodes once a month and subscriber episodes approximately 1x per week. I hope you’ll consider becoming a paid subscriber (for $5 per month) to take a deeper dive with me. I’m excited to see where this all takes us 🙂🌱Starting February 9 I will be guiding a 4 week virtual Creative-Healing group container.🌈 In this group we will support one another in awakening our TRUE AUTHENTIC creative selves!The experience will include:✨embodied / somatic practice✨ channeled writing✨ meditation for manifesting✨ creative play prompts✨ group processingLet me know if you would be interested and I’ll send you more information!I am only a few clicks away and I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment, share this episode, and become a paid subscriber! Here are some other ways we can connect :Creative Diaries NewsletterMy WebsiteSomatic Therapy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lilliankemanis.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lilliankemanis.substack.comDear Listeners,Lately I’ve been reflecting on the waxing and waning nature of self-confidence. There’s a part of me that fantasizes about achieving some kind of peek-level confidence that remains eternally unfazed by insecurity, fear, or anxiety, however, this couldn’t be farther from my true experience. I do believe self-confidence is something that ca…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lilliankemanis.substack.comDear Listeners, Lately I’ve felt stickier than usual. I’ve fond myself cheek to rock, too close to even see what this thing is, this thing that’s “in my way.” I remind myself that the obstacle is the way. I let myself soften against it. How else can I relate to my obstacle? What if I rested against it? Whispered a love poem into it’s ear? Danced a duet …

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lilliankemanis.substack.comI almost didn’t publish this episode for fear of it not “making any sense.” But to my surprise, upon listening to it back, I feel there is some sense to be made here : the nature of change-work (or in other words ⎯ self transformation and healing work) is simple yet complex. Change is the only universal and observable Truth. All things change, which mea…

This episode comes to you on the heals of the New Year. The month of December has always felt to me, intense ⎯ heavily saturated by reflection of both past and present, with the lingering question : where am I going from here? As I review what has been moving within me this past month, I feel the fullness of the whole year, like the swell of a wave inviting me to catch its descend. I meet this intensity, humbly, and remind myself I can do hard things. I remind myself I can relax into the weight of my body and let my exhale guide my landing. Mostly, I’ve been learning how to grow up. The denouement of this year has felt like an accelerated maturation. This is largely what I speak about in this episode : I surmise that what we call the “healing journey” might really just be the process of growing up. (And no, just because you are an “adult” doesn’t mean you’ve fully grown up!) Real maturity is the ability to remain present within activated and intense moments. It is when we no longer have to rely on habitual defense mechanisms and can hold sensation within the body while remaining lucid in our response. It’s in our maturity we learn how to be responsible (able to respond) to what life throws at us with conscious awareness and choice. In this episode I share with you my recent experiences of repressed anger rising to the surface and the ways I am learning how to be with, hold, and express emotions that have been long exiled within me. What a journey this is! I hope you’ll roll with me here as I speak about “clown consciousness” ⎯ as strange as it might sound ⎯ the wisdom of the clown, I believe, holds medicine for all of us. It provides a kind of whimsical eureka by inviting us to question in the way we inhabit the roles we play in life. The clown offers the possibility that we can change our story at any time. And what a relief this is…especially if we’ve become very serious about the roles we play. Perhaps there’s more room to be ourselves than we thought. Thank you for being here with me. I release public episodes once a month and subscriber episodes approximately 1x per week. I invite you to engage with me and I welcome new friends and community members! I am only a few clicks away and I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment, share this episode, and become a paid subscriber! Here are some other ways we can connect : Creative Diaries NewsletterMy WebsiteSomatic Therapy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lilliankemanis.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lilliankemanis.substack.comWhat it comes down to, really : is the need to be loved. When we have a desire to “be seen,” and / or equally, a fear to “be seen” : what it comes down to is the need to be loved. We need to be loved for who we are, fully and wholly, imperfectly, in all of our weirdness, brilliance, and darkness. When we are afraid of “being seen” a good question to ask…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lilliankemanis.substack.comcreative containers, asking for help, burnout, safety : my journey moving back home

Welcome to my Creative Diaries where I share my experience of creative-healing, authentic self expression, and creative process. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lilliankemanis.substack.com/subscribe