Crunch Wears No Pants

THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES THE HEINOUS AND VILE ACT COMMITTED BY VICTOR WEMBANYAMA IN GAME FOUR OF THE WESTERN CONFERENCE SEMI FINALS. WE ALSO DISCUSS MORE THINGS ABOUT THE GAME, WHICH INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO ANTHONY EDWARDS' IMMORTALITY, JULIUS RANDLES BEFUDDLEMENT, NAZ REID HAVING A GOOD PLAYOFFS, AND TSJ!

Gregg Masterson from Twins Daily joins to talk about his preferred basketball team, the San Antonio Spurs. We talked about everything. There were misunderstood analogies. There were stories told. 

YOU SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED TO GOAL TEND IF YOU'RE 9 FEET TALL

THANK YOU JADEN. THANK YOU TSJ. THANK YOU RUDY GOBERT. 

THIS EPISODE IS ONLY RELEVANT FOR 20 MINUTES GO GO GO 

GENTLEMEN’S SWEEP OPPOSITELY IS ON THE TABLE GUYS WOOOOAAAHHH

KATY WINGE JOINS THE POD DEEP FROM ENEMY TERRITORY TO TELL US WHY THE NUGGETS ROCK! IT MADE US SAD BUT KATY IS A JOY! WE TOLD HER ABOUT THE BALKANIZATION OF WOLVES TWITTER! SHE TOLD US ABOUT HER MEDIA CAREER ASCENSION! WE HOPE KATY WINGE BECOMES A HOUSEHOLD NAME IN BASKETBALL MEDIA BECAUSE SHE KNOWS BALL AND IS FUN!

PLAYOFFS

we talked about the Lynx. we talked about the Timberwolves. We talked about the insane slate of 2026 movies.

SHOUT OUT CASCADE CBX SPORT

you guys didn't like the game of thrones episode so we're back talking about the wolves. 

It's Lynx time baby

So much is happening with the Timberwolves! Almost as much as what's happening in Westeros this year! In honor of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms and House of the Dragon Season 3, we drafted basketball teams out of Game of Thrones Characters. HBO Max please sponsor us

The vibes are ass dawg idk what you want from me as far as descriptions and episode titles go.

Dane Moore is back to talk about Kyle Anderson's return, the bench mob's pecking order and ideal state, as well as his newishfound love of Survivor. It was a lot of hoops talk, which makes sense. We also talked about Ayo Dosunmu being attractive. We also talked about Jordan's cat Ford passing away, which ended in some gallows humor and I assure you he is grieving normally and he appreciates all the condolences and nice things people have said. Jordan also told me to tell you to look up Continuing Bonds Theory by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman, as well as Neimeyer's work on Meaning Reconstruction, and the Dual Process Model of Grief by Stroebe and Schut if you're curious to learn more about helpful grief theory that's helped him, especially in regards to pet loss. We love Dane, we love you, we love your pets. 

#LEADERSHIP

This was certainly one of the episodes of all time

Unofficial fourth host of the pod Chelanga Langason is back to give us the takes we've been missing since the end of his internet presence and the CnD NBA Show. It was great and fun. 

Dear NAW, Debí tirar más fotos de cuando te tuveDebí darte más besos y abrazos las veces que pudeEy, ojalá que los míos nunca se mudenY si hoy me emborracho, pues, que me ayudenWe love you, CWNP

Shams Charania, delete your twitter account and never bother us again.

Giannis might be a Timberwolf. We beat OKC. We love Minneapolis

MC JON B IS HERE! We talked about the last week, in which the Wolves went 0-3. We did the "MC Jon B" draft. 

The Wolves are making us look dumb cuz they're playing really great and cohesive basketball right now. Welcome to the league, Joan Beringer.

- CAN RUDY ACTUALLY WIN DPOTY?- WE'RE NOT TALKING ENOUGH ABOUT HOW GOOD ANT IS- CHRIS FINCH: DYNASTY (WHISTLE) KILLER?- TRADE DEADLINE PREVIEW: WOLVES TRADE TARGETS

Well. It's been a week guys. We discuss how rancid the vibes are with our new DurfGPT, which almost sounds like the real Nate, who you know is on his 6-month CWNP-mandated paid Paternal Leave (we are pro-family and actually fund programs in favor of children and families as opposed to funding luxury boomer socialism + corporate bailouts). We also breakdown who from the Timberwolves we're willing to trade ahead of the deadline (spoiler: a lot of them). 

Surprise Christmas Drop! Brandon, Jordan, and Kai from WolvesBoxScores go Christmas shopping and get gifts for the Wolves roster. There's more milk talk than you'd expect in this one. Hi Johnny Juzang.

WolvesBoxScores joins to talk about Karl's return game, what he thinks is holding the Wolves back, Snacks, Rudy Gobert's last ten games, and a few tangents along the way. Please go follow WolvesBoxScores. LOVE YOU

So much is happening with your Minnesota Timberwolves that we're not gonna talk about any of it, and instead are going to draft our favorite Sports Video Games of All Time. Durf appears in this episode! Is it fake Durf or real Durf? Who knows.

The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And this will not be the last victory versus the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Bones Hyland is the point guard of the future. DDV is shredding the net off the rim. Julius Randle is instagramming pics with the caption Goosebumps and the Minnesota Wild are acknowledging it. We also talk Doomsday leak spoilers near the end and give a spoiler warning. We also talk about Star Wars at the end. Durf was very quiet this episode which is why this happened, it was always going to happen.

They blew it vs the Suns and Kings. The Timberwolves have this podcast wondering: are the Wolves bad?

Tim Miller and DJ Dudley D join the pod to discuss playing the trombone version of Goosebumps during games, how they select in game sound effects and music, and what the behind the scenes in-game production of a Wolves game looks like. We also discuss vibes, of course. 

THE WOLVES ARE WINNING AGAINST BAD TEAMS! GOOSEBUMPS IS BECOMING A NATIONAL THING!

There's a Wolves Twitter Civil War over Chris Finch. Ja Morant may be a Timberwolf this season. Someone took down the original Julius Randle Goosebumps video. 

We're four games in and the gentlemen are trying to make sense of the Anthony Edwards injury, as well as some weird initial trends and observations (both positive and negative). Julius Randle is a trees jersey legend. Rob looks great in the face mask. If you're a new fan: welcome to Target Center. Please get lit when you're in the building. Love you BYE

We're so frickin back. We fired up the mics as soon as the clock struck 0:00 to talk about Donte (oh no), Bones (oh yes), Anthony Edwards (wow), and initial reactions to the Wolves' first game. Go buy some Lamb Chops. See you at Target Center

Thanks for coming to WolvesFest. My lord, a time was had. The audio is a bit of an adventure on this one. JakesGraphs and Dane Moore join us to chat about the forthcoming season. People were lit. Shout to the Dane Moore NBA Show for always showing love, and for Falling Knife for being the host with the most. 

The emperor of Wolves Twitter joins the pod for our annual over/unders segment! We also re-litigate whether or not Christian Braun is hot (from last week), as well as dig into Kyle's vibes going into the season. See you at Wolves Fest at Falling Knife on Saturday!! I love you!

- #AD @Timberwolves x Chromatic Vintage Drop Event Announcement (10/7 @ 5pm in the Skyway by Gate 1)- THE TREES ARE BACK- QUEEN PHEE AND THE LYNX VS THE WORLD- THE TREES DRAFT! MORE FUN THAN WE ANTICIPATED!

Durf is at a bachelor party so he isn't here. So Brandon and Jally talk about the Lynx advancing, Co-DPOTY, Phee disrespect on Threads (don't go on Threads), and the state of our favorite corporate intellectual properties. Nate, come back. We don't need to do 15 minutes on Fandom.

Last week, we tweeted a meme of Craig Smith. This week, former Timberwolf Craig Smith joins the pod to discuss his career, his fav moments, the state of the league, the state of the Wolves, and Fantasy Football. Check out Craig's Foundation https://tayloredrhinofoundation.org/ as well as his books "Craig and his Magic Basketball" and "Coloring with Craig: The Rhino's Basketball Adventures." Craig Smith rules. You already knew that but you're going to know it even more after this episode

Andrew's back to discuss the Lynx's perseverance in the wake of the Phee injury, the first three trades since the Carrington trade, and the excitement of covering two elite MN basketball teams year around. Long live Andrew, he's great. 

We discuss Phee's injury, the DiJonai Carrington trade, and host Brandon's Uncle Tim on the pod because he won a silent auction. 

Brandon and Nate went to Summer League and omg. WNBA All Star Weekend restored the feeling.

NAW WE LOVE YOU. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO THE LIVE SHOW (THAT IS MEANT FOR YOU, THE PANTY NATION MEMBER. NOT NAW, UNFORTUNATELY).

CWNP was invited to the first showing of Jurassic World: Rebirth in Minnesota, so we went and recorded a podcast about it. It's obviously spoiler free. This is the off season BAYBEEEEEE. 

Somebody gave Jordan a juicy scoop. This is probably why you're listening to this episode, and that's fine, but just know we talk about Jordan's dad for the first 3:48 seconds of the episode. We also go over off season trade chatter, Wolves Twitter's reaction to all the rumors, and how Nate should watch Invicible. 

IT'S THE THIRD ANNUAL CRUNCH WEARS NO PANTS YEAR END PANTIES AWARD EXTRAVAGANZA BROUGHT TO YOU BY JIMMY'S DIPS, DUKE CANNON, AND DENT HEADS! WE ALSO REVIEW OUR OVER/UNDERS THAT WE SET AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON WITH JACK FROM BAD ANGLE BASKETBALL! COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW AT FALLING KNIFE BREWING COMPANY ON 6/25/25 FROM 6-10PM! 

Chris Hine wrote a book about Anthony Edwards. It's great. We talk all about it with a few (a lot) of detours along with way.