D&D is For Nerds

There's a saying in ol' North Warlocksburg: "Still water runs deep, and deep water runs wise, and wise water knows better than to answer questions it wasn't asked." Nobody can tell you what that means. Yet it gets recited at weddings, funerals, and most minor irrigation disputes. Usually with a solemn head nod for emphasis.It's also, if you ask around, the reason our little town turns out so many wizards. Why a farmer's boy from North Warlocksburg is more likely to end up hurling fireballs than herding sheep. Why every child is taught how to dispel magic before they can take their first steps.Now come sit down by the fire. Let me tell you a story. A story you may have heard before, and you may be right, but trust me when I say my version is the correct version. You see, I was there.Long ago, long before anyone here was ever born, an evil wizard lived here. Some say his name was Balthazor the Cruel, others claim it was Galbatorixium the Flaccid. Neither are correct. It was Steve. Steve the Red. One day, after a fruitful day of kicking dogs and cursing crops, the villagers had had enough and chased poor Steve through the square with pitchforks. Steve, you have to understand, while no one could kick a dog better than he, was truly awful sprinter. Especially when it came to hurdles. I never met a hurdle that Steve wouldn't just plow straight through and donk his head. You might have noticed those blue ribbons adorning my cabin walls, and you'd be correct. I did in fact steal them from the village's number 1 runner. He begged and begged and begged for me to give them back, but by then they were rightfully mine and no one was around to disprove him. So i just laughed and laughed in his stupid ugly good at running face. Got myself a lot of strange from those ribbons alone. You can have them when I pass. You look like you could use with the ribbon help. Now where was I? Steve? Right. Dogshit at running, tripped and fell straight into the town well. Never to be seen again. Neither was his hat, which personally I think was the real tragedy.That night, so the story goes, his dark magic seed seeped into the water, all at once, forever and ever. Everyone who drank from that well was touched by it. As was their children and their children's children all the way down, right to this very day. That's why they call it Wiz Water. And that's why when we drink, we drink deep in ol' North Warlockburg. Now raise your glass and take a sip, to the wizard below and the wizard to come.- Printed on every single bottle of Wiz Water sold by Warlockburg's Brewery If you supported the Jarren's Outpost Board Game, check your emails to manage your pledge manager! Of course you can still grab a copy right here and we insist you do xx o. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trail Waffles: How I Found Myself Again[↓ Jump to Recipe ↓](you can click that if you want, I won't be offended, though I will say a small prayer for you to Glizabert, Goddess of Travel, Privilege and Whatever-the-Opposite-of-White-Guilt-is)I wasn't always a person who made waffles on a donkey.I know. I know. You came here for a recipe, and instead you are getting Filmeena's Feelings, and I promise we will get there, we will get to the part with the flour and the fire, but first you have to understand about my grandmother's grandmother, a woman I never met, who according to family legend once fought off a bugbear using nothing but a cast-iron pan and sheer force of personality, and I think about her every single morning as I stand over my own cast-iron pan wondering if today is the day the bugbear comes back seeking revenge.It was autumn - or whatever passes for autumn in a world where the seasons are decided by which god is currently "on one" - and I had just left my third adventuring party in as many months, not because I don't love a good dungeon (I do, dungeons are fine, dungeons are a journey), but because I had realised, somewhere around goblin encounter number forty-one, that nobody in my party had eaten a warm breakfast in six weeks and everyone was, frankly, being insufferable about it. You cannot reason with a paladin who has not had breakfast. I have tried. It ends in a lecture about "Nome guilt" and "we must confess about the sin of taste". All this from a man who, and I cannot stress this enough, eats hardtack dry.So I quit the party. I kept the donkey. The donkey's name is Big Clop and he has never once complained about waffles, which already makes him a better travel companion than most of the two-legged adventurers I've adventured with.I want to be honest with you: I did not invent trail waffles in a moment of culinary genius. I invented them at 5 AM in the freezing rain, sobbing slightly, holding two pans, having what I can only describe as a Breakfast Emergency. But that's the thing about the road, isn't it? It strips everything back to the essentials. Who are you, really, when you're cold, and hungry, and someone in your party (still not naming names, Flibbert) keeps asking "are we there yet?" like we are not all equally lost, annoyed and extremely overwhelmed. Are you the kind of person who gives up? Or are you the kind of person who straps two iron pans to a mule and refuses, on principle, to eat another cold biscuit stew flavoured with sock?I chose waffles. I choose waffles every morning, honestly, it's less a decision at this point and more a compulsion, but we don't have to unpack that today.I made these for a hag once. Not "for" in the sense of "willingly." She'd threatened to turn my party into assorted woodland creatures unless someone impressed her by sundown, and everyone looked at me, and I don't know what that says about my reputation, or the uselessness of my former party, but I made her trail waffles with a little wild honey on top and she let me go AND gave me a discount on a curse removal later that year, so. Draw your own conclusions about the transformative power of a good breakfast. I certainly have.Trail Waffles {#recipe}(serves 4 adventurers, or 1 adventurer and their emotional support donkey)You will need:1 cup of oat flour1/2 cup of regular flour1 egg2 tbsp dried milk-curd (fresh if you can get it)1 cup of water (thin ale will work in a pinch)Pinch of salt1 tbsp fat or oil, plus extra for the pans2 flat iron pans of roughly the same sizeA fire that has calmed down and stopped being dramatic about it (coals, not flame)Optional, but I heavily suggest these are not Optional1/2 cup of nuts 1 tablespoon dried fruit or preserves 1 tablespoon of wild honey or syrupPinch of travelling spicesA fire that has calmed down and stopped being dramatic about it (coals, not flame)- Scrawled on the wall on the privy of The Wandering Spoon, signed Filmeena Oatbarrow, lvl 10 Cook/Bard Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alchemy has a reputation for grand gestures. A pinch of grave-moss, a vial of moon-condensed dew, a hair from something that used to be a person, all tipped into a vessel (usually an ornate iron cauldron) at once with great ceremony, to the delight of the audience or client. I want to be very clear with you: this is not alchemy. This is theatre, and theatre does not require you to have functioning eyebrows or both your eyes left in your head after the dust settles.Every reagent you will work with in this course has a nature. A temperament, if you like the poetic word for it, though I prefer tolerance. Wolfsbane ash wants heat, but slowly, and in the presence of something binding, or it does not steep, it seizes. Quicksilver is patient with almost everything except itself. Two measures of it in the same vessel will fight for dominance rather than combine, and the vessel, and the hands holding it, generally lose that argument. You are not required to memorise every tolerance in the first month. You are required to accept, as an article of faith until you can verify it yourself, that they exist, and that ignoring them is not boldness. It is arithmetic you have chosen not to do.There are three guiding questions you should ask yourself before anything touches your mixing bowl. Write these down, underline them if you must, tattoo them on your skin if you cannot remember them.What does this reagent want to react with, and in what order? Sequence is not a suggestion. Half of you will be tempted to treat a recipe like a shopping list, tossed in together because it is faster. It is faster. It is also how we no longer have an East Wing.How much, precisely, and why that amount? "A bit more couldn't hurt" is the last sentence most aspiring potion makers will utter before they met their god. I would highly recommend you worship one of the nicer ones that are sympathetic to clumsiness. A reagent that behaves at one measure may not behave at three. This is not a linear art. Do not treat it as one.What is your escape, if this goes wrong anyway? Every working bench in this facility has a water trough, a smothering cloth, and a door you can reach in five steps. Four if you're particularly fast. I will ask you to locate all three before I let you light a burner. This is not paranoia. This is the entire reason our particular school of knowledge has survived long enough to have someone teach it.I want to be clear that I am not asking you to be timid. Alchemy rewards curiosity more than almost any other discipline, and I would rather teach a room of the reckless than a room of the incurious. The reckless, at least, can be taught caution. What I am asking is that your experimentation be deliberate. Change one variable at a time. Record what you changed. Small batches before large ones. A thimble of a new combination will tell you everything a cauldron full would, at a fraction of the risk.The reagents do not care how confident you feel. They only care what you actually put in the vessel, in what order, and in what amount. Respect the proportion, and the discipline will, eventually, respect you back.- Lecture Notes On the Discipline of Reagent Craft for First-Year Alchemical Theory by Professor Viktoria VoleIf you're still wanting to get Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Our pledge manager is open so get it while you can! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14th of the NeyavrMama says it's only elk, calling to each other across the valley. But I have never heard an elk sound like that. It came three times, low and long, like a horn blown by something with no lungs to exhaust. The dogs would not stop shaking until well past moonrise.16th of the NeyavrOld Tomas is gone. His wife says she heard the horn the night before. Tomas went out "to see whose fool idea it was to blow a hunting horn past curfew." I do not think it was a hunting horn. I do not think Tomas is coming back.22nd of the NeyavrThree sounds tonight. Not one. Three. Different notes, like it was... singing? Singing is the wrong word. It was closer to something practicing at being a voice. And it was angry. 29th of the NeyavrJakob, my poor sweet Jakob, we found him strangled by his own leash in the morning. The marks on the dirt and the rope burns around his neck are so deep and ragged. He wanted to get away from the woods so bad he all but ripped through his own throat. But Savanah, his mate, hasn't moved since we came upon the scene. She sits there, motionless, as still as a statue, eyes fixed at the forrest and growls whenever we attempt to move her.3rd of the DekavrI saw it. It came to the edge of the tree line and did not come one step closer. Black-feathered and wrong-shouldered. I saw it between the trunks. And then I heard it. The same sound I have heard for the last three weeks. Loud, piercing, accusing and mocking. I cannot explain how I know this, and by the Gods I hope I am wrong, but it sounding like it was laughing.- Journal excerpt found in an abandoned settlement near Tser Falls If you're still wanting to get Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Our pledge manager is open so get it while you can! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I never knew what to expect when travelling with Him. There were days He was quiet and focused, when nothing in the world could pull His attention from the road ahead. Other days it was as though He could not sit still in His own skin, chasing one thought after another as if they fell out of His head faster than He could follow them. The day He bowed his head to an undead king, and very nearly did not rise again, belonged to the former kind of day. He had been silent since dawn, turning something over behind His eyes, and I remember thinking that silence was the surest sign He had already made up His mind about something I would not like. The feigned confusion only guaranteed it for me. The undead paladins stood there in armour gone the colour of old rivers. They did not look up as we entered, and did not look up as He knelt among them, and did not look up even as their king rose from his throne to pronounce, in a voice like a door closing, that the traveller had been summoned to answer for the living. That his death would be a mercy compared to what living men would one day do to the world in his name. I still cannot decide whether He walked into that castle believing they would hear Him, or whether some deeper part of Him already knew they would not, and went anyway. He was like that, in those early days. Hope was not a conclusion He arrived at after weighing the evidence, it was the ground He stood on before the weighing had even begun. It served Him well more often than it should have. It nearly did not, that day.I will not pretend I understood that I was witnessing anything but a man's foolishness catching up to him at last. It was only afterward, long afterward, after so much else had happened, after His name had outgrown Him and outgrown me, that I came to think He had walked in there already knowing what it would cost, and had judged the cost worth paying.- Excerpt from In the Shadows of Lightbringer If you're still wanting to get Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Our pledge manager is open so get it while you can! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME THE CUP. GIVE ME TIf you want to hear more of Ellie Morris and Henry Shields go check out the Hell or High Rollers Podcast!And if you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After learning more about worship of the ocean deity Ehellia; the Cult of Salt and Sail "dedicated" to her; and the Cup of True Passage, a sacred relic for Ehellia worshipers that the cult is literally willing to kill for. Tyke Baphammer suggests they steal the relic as a bargaining chip with the cult, Ephraim Red explains the Monty Hall problem to their companions, and Sticks sends her beloved fish companion Twigs to scout an underwater temple. Are our heroes wise to act so antagonistly towards both friend and foe? Find out!If you want to hear more of Ellie Morris and Henry Shields go check out the Hell or High Rollers Podcast!And if you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The hope, as always, is that all will be revealed at the Chapel of Ends. Unfortunately, despite Leopold’s Errant Mercenaries best efforts. It seems this House of the Dead is keeping its secrets. As Sticks and Tyke tussle with an amnesiac corpse, for whom even Speak with Dead is of no use, Ephraim investigates the mysteriously ash covered dead body of Penelope Solverson (he is then once again poisoned). Perhaps the answer lies instead with the living, in the salt encrusted taverns of the Fairburn City Docks.If you want to hear more of Ellie Morris and Henry Shields go check out the Hell or High Rollers Podcast!And if you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Suspicions are high as Leopold’s Errant Mercenaries begin to investigate, starting with the childhood bedroom of Jocelyn Solverson. Rather than providing an answer, the contents of the room only provoke further question. Tyke Baphammer destroys the rooms walls, convinced that a special diary lies within, Ephraim leaves the room entirely to investigate a suspicious lake to great effect (aside from the poisoning), and Sticks stands on a magic rock. As our heroes investigate something is beginning to become clear: the answer, whatever it is, lies deep beneath the waves.If you want to hear more of Ellie Morris and Henry Shields go check out the Hell or High Rollers Podcast!And if you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As if the city of Fairburn Point didn’t have enough problems, tragedy has struck the prominent Solverson Family. Their daughter, Jocelyn Solverson has gone missing and in a city so awash with darkness, the poor girl could be anywhere. Leopold’s Errant Mercenaries have sent their most discrete agents to solve the problem: the self-serious Ephraim Red, the ever-distracted Sticks and her goldfish Twigs, and Tyke Baphammer a textbook Dwarf. There’s always a chance that Jocelyn has merely run off with a boy, but in the city of Fairburn Point, nothing is ever so simple.If you want to hear more of Ellie Morris and Henry Shields go check out the Hell or High Rollers Podcast!And if you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Running a business and having a toddler is hard. I don't recommend it. If you happen to be in the Gold Coast next weekend on May 23 and 24 for TableTopCon come and say hi to Zammit and Jackson as they demo Jarren's Outpost! This will be the first time Zammit will be spending night away from Johnny Baby and will need a lot of moral support.Next week Jackson and Adam are joined by Ellie Morris and Henry Shields from the Hell or High Rollers Podcast for Cult & Roses, a five-part mini campaign set in Fairburn Point where our heroes (paid mercenaries?) must get to the bottom of a kidnapping involving several cults, a mysterious sea god and a regular sea god. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Explosive Ghoul is identical in nearly every-eth manner to their regular cousins but with several notable exceptions: Abyssal energies: what has been identified to power the ghouls has been “supercharged” extensively to such a point that the Explosive Ghoul gains its name and upon destruction will combust and release said energies at high degree and far reach. This can clearly-eth be seen-eth on thine Explosive Ghoul in its somewhat bloated-eth stomach and through its-eth eyes-eth which will instead of being white show through to the planes abyssal (red as it is speculated that the colours of thine abyss are on the average). Thy-eth savvy hunter should-eth k-note that thine Explosive Ghoul should be seen to be-eth smarter than thy average bear (or ghoul) and shall not indeed fall for the same tricks as thine non-explosive cousin. When thine Explosive Ghoul is slain one should be well away lest they become caught in the fiery (and venomous (here-eth venom shall refer-eth to the effect of creating more-eth ghouls (here-eth ghouls shall mean explosive ghouls) on thy savvy (or should I say unsavvy!) death) as the normal ghoul is (which-eth is to speak that the conflagration is neither fiery nor venomous but rather necrotic)) conflagration. Unfortunately, dear reader and savvy hunter I must confess that I was lying to you at the beginning of this here entry as the Explosive Ghoul is not terribly similar to thine regular ghoul. As thine Explosive Ghoul also should be known to be rather tougher than its counterpart and also know that it can belch the very fires (poisonous) of the abyss at thy savvy hunter which have all the treacherous-ies of its venomous attacks. Aside from these incorrections though I was not lying but rather telling the truth as the Explosive Ghoul does have all the same weaknesses and strengths besides!If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

this one has discovered what this one likes to call ‘the-heroes-journey.’ this one believes that this ones new invention will revolutionize the science of storytelling. as important as previous story-inventions such as creative-liberties, fore-shadowing, and the-ticking-clock. possibly the most important element of a the-heroes-journey is what this one calls ‘crossing-the-threshold’ or ‘getting-to-the-good-stuff.’ perhaps that one would like if this one draws a diagram in exchange for payment? this one would accept payment in form of egg.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“… and I only collect shiny things because they remind me of the stars. It reminds me of the night and your absence which I find anticipatory. I often wonder if you feel the same? Do you feel as electrified as I do to know that while you are not here now, I shall see you soon? Cresting the horizon with your enrapturing gaze. And in those moments, when you see me and smile, I understand why ice melts…”~ Nomes’ letter to Penia, 363.1804If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This one wants that one to have big think of three delicious eggs for this one to eat and this one only wants the most delicious egg, even though this one would be very happy with all three delicious eggs, but for sake of good story, only one egg is best egg. Other eggs only pretty good egg, but still egg, and that’s good. If that one choose one egg it only one third of being most delicious egg. If this one eat one of the other egg and I say ‘it delicious but could be more delicious’, you best pick the other remaining egg for this one as is has two thirds chance of being the most delicious and the egg that one pick from before still only has one third for being delicious. This not always work, but eating egg is good and that is good. It is new concept I am calling “probability”.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dracula: Sometimes known as a vampyr or Lesser Greater Vampire (or just vampire if thy savvy hunter wishes to be seen as uncouth as well as (or in addition to (or instead of)) savvy) this book thinks it foolish to contend with such a creature so don’t worry about it. Thy shall know to avoid thou dracula if they are in a region where a faint or minor trace of that magic known as necromancy is undercurrent wherever they travel, animals of the house and farm keep together at nights for fear, and voices not of thy own sometimes whisper thy savvy hunter (or others!) name when thy is alone and beckon thy further (do not listen to them for thou voices shall lead thy astray!) If thy is forced to worry about it though it should be important to keep a cool head as that might be a method for the dracula to control the un-savvy hunter. Savvy hunters all know this one truth, and as they all know it I shall not bother to repeat it here but rather assume you already know one of the most critical and important things about fighting thou Dracula. Instead this author shall furnish thy with what is considered lesser informations, that thou Draculi placing of death shall affect (or effect I can never tell) the powers and unpowers that it shall possess. But first you must answer some simple questions.Does the Dracula live outside?If yes, congratulations! You have stumbled upon a City Place Dracula. While it can teleport through doors and turn into rats, it cannot leave the city.If no ask yourself does the Dracula live near sea level?No? Well okay then, does the Dracula live above or below sea level?Yes? You’ve found yourself face to face with a Tall Places Dracula if thine answer waseth no, you’re dealing with a Negative-Tall Places Dracula.Now if the Dracula you are facing does live near sea level I’m afraid more observation from you iseth needed. In particulars thine nature of thine environment, where the Dracula is most often stood and where or not it yearns for wide open spaces. Good luck out there savvy hunter.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We gather in your light to release this soul from shadow. You who walked this mortal road have earned your rest. Your deeds are written not in stone, but in the warmth of those you sheltered, in the fires you kindled against the dark, in the lives that burned brighter for your presence.Adventurer, your curiosity got the better of you, but you can now lay down you arms. Your burdens are finished. Your quest complete. The long night that comes for us all now comes for you. But know this: the light of the Sun does not abandon what it loves. As it sets, so too shall it rise, and in that rising, you shall be found.Walk into that Golden Light. Let Penia receive you with welcome arms. Not as a soldier. Not as a servant. But as a child come home.The Dawn remembers its own.Rest, now. You have earned the light.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To the Attention of Rahadin,I understand you are making a shortlist for potential assistants for me to look through peruse when I return, however would like to put forward my own recommendation. I apologise if you’ve already put in the work but I have rather unexpectedly ran into a trusted friend from my homeland here, in Castle Ravenloft. The man whom whomst that handed youIt is with a warm heart that I recommend Harvey Hancock for the position of my Personal Assistant. Mr Hancock has proven himself time and time again to be reliable, good-natured, and sharp of mind and wit. I believe he is more than suited to the role, and I trust him to represent my interests with care and discretion.I ask that you receive this letter as formal notice of his appointment, and extend to Mr Harvey Hancock the same courtesies afforded to those who serve in good standing. With respect and gratitude,HecktLightbringerKnight of the CAssistant to StrahdPS If this is a paid position and it is possibly, could Harvey have his first pay in advance? Or take it from my.. is my position paid? Sorry, I should have asked about this before. Please disregard this PSIf you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My whole life, I’ve only know of one profession: Knight of the Cloth. There are Oaths to take. Oaths you should not break, cannot break. I took them before I could grow hair on my chin. The Divine Order taught me many things. Mostly how to fight with a sword and not embarrass myself in front of dignitaries. I can recite 9 different prayers for the morning, tell the difference between most devils and demons at a glance but I have no idea how to balance a budget. Contracts are a foreign concept, I was taught that my word was stronger than ironwood. I do not have the training, the brains nor the stomach for politicking. I’ve always hated the dishonesty of it all. But here I am, having to be dishonest to everyone because he is always listening and if he finds out what I have planned I would have died for no reason, like so many others before me.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The thing about wood from a tree-blight is that it's not regular wood, owing to the fact that it didn't come from a regular tree. It came from an evil tree, therefore, evil wood. And if you build a house out of evil wood, guess what, you've got an evil house, probably full of evil furniture. On top of this there's always the risk, or at least Emmanuel seems to think so, that the tree-blight will try and reform and become a great big tree again, and if that happens, you're out of a house, and also probably dead.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To many of us Urwin was a kind face and a gentle heart. Anyone in town could tell you a tale of how he was there with a drink in each hand and a shoulder to grieve on. Tonight we remember Urwin not for grief but to bring him to life together one last time. In life Urwin was like a great stone statue and each of us were given a piece to hold and feel his love and remember when he could not be there for us physically. And now, one by one, each of us will share our piece of Urwin. And together we will put him together.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"... and once the great forges of dwarvkin burn no morethe frozen passages and snowkin will once more take Nottthis time Lemminkäinen will know no equal as his frostand these shall be known as the end of days.And on these days the children of Hus shall see the endthe end of all things but one:even at the end of time Lemminkäinen's wrath will remain."If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Admiral Cutter,I am pleased to report that while tests are still ongoing we have had incredible initial success. Your tabaxi scientist Crawls-Trough-Walls and the rest of his team believe they are close to isolating whatever element within the Blue Blood that disconnects a subject from the weave and the future. Dr Crawls has demonstrated capabilities of reducing the divinable qualities of a square block of stone to near zero. The object defies even practised divination attempts. The team are saying that live trials may be next. Whatever you have gained here has leapfrogged our research by decades.Your humble servant,Lt HiramIf you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Y'know, folks like to say Pip is wholly without confidence. That he don't know how to make a decision. In some ways they're right I guess. 'Cept when it's him against a monster. Thats a different Pip altogether. When that crossbows pumpin' and he's making tough calls with teeth on his neck, thats a different Pip. I reckon folks see what I see then, I reckon they see him for real.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grugrog's Famous Cure. After slaying a rather large beastie that's been terrorising the town, the discerning adventurer would be remiss to not partake in a night of debaucherous revelry! This, in turn, can bring on a head-shattering hangover to slay even the great Tiamat. To get that hangover under control, we recommend a hearty breakfast, and the best hearty breakfast comes from the all-in-one adventure's favourite: The Owl-Bear. Eggs, meat and (if you're up for it) milk can all be collected and/or harvested from one or two owl-bear caves. We highly recommend enriching an owl-bear egg scramble with owl-bear milk and served with owl-bear sausages. However, if owl-bear milk is too much trouble to acquire (if the owl-bear is not lactating or is a male of the species (WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MILK A MALE OWL-BEAR THIS WILL JUST MAKE THEM ANGRY AND THE RESULT IS NOT WORTH IT)) a simple breakfast of a single owl-bear egg (raw) and owl-bear steak (medium to medium-rare) has more than enough nutrients and vitamins to fight off any emerging hangover. Of course you could always chug a health potion. If you're a coward.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A vivid conversation strikes out between two former paladins over an evening meal and takes an interesting turn when one quizzes another about their values and worldviews.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"It's just a castle," Pirrin mutters the mantra under his breath while scaling a wall, "living people don't guard ghosts," Pirrin whispers while slitting a knights throat. "Just a normal castle" Pirrin insists moving from shadow to shadow counting the steps between guard patrols."Hecktor would kill any ghosts if he saw them."Pirrin's breath catches in his throat as a long black cloak glides around a corner-- his mind wild and near panic. Feeling like he might throw up his own heart Pirrin's muttering slips between false prayer and genuine swearing as he catches a closing side door before it locks."Ghost's can't hurt--" Pirrin stops suddenly. Laughter and the smell of wine. "Is that a flipping dinner party?"If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

/feɪt-less/ADJ.1. Having or showing a lack of fate. Having no predetermined destiny.She went through life like a fateless rock tumbling down a hill2. To act unpredictably or have an immunity to divination.The only thing more shocking than when she pulled the knife was that the court diviner couldn't find the fateless traitor3. A condition of unknown causation where the subject cannot have their future predicted by magical means.Get out! Get out of here! You charlatan! You fake! You fateless wench!NOUN1. Being a member of a class known for having blue blood and being immune to divination magic. First observed by the scholar Chester A. B. in the Age of Devastation.The fateless cannot be tamed by gods or kings, they are a people who are truly free in every sense of the word If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hm, looks like this particular corner of the Shadowfell's got itself a mighty big vampire shaped problem. Thats ok. We can get some kind of posse together I'm sure. Hell, just gotta get the right kinda folks. People with training, people with skills, and most important, people who give a damn. Shoot. Wont be the first time I've faced off against some ne'er do well who's too big for his britches and by hell if its gonna be the last.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People don’t realise but the true burden of a Monster Hunter isn’t the detective work, or the ignorant villagers, or even fighting the monster itself. It’s the knowledge. The knowledge of what these monsters are actually capable of, how bad it is, the true consequences of failure. That if you make one mistake, draw the wrong conclusion, pick the wrong entry, people die. That even if you do everything at your disposal, there’s a very good chance that you will still fail, and that people will hold it against you for as long as you live. If you cannot imagine the shape of the things that go bump in the night, well, you should consider yourself very lucky.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A funny thing about faith is you don’t have to be religious to have it. We are told many things when we are growing up, when we are younger, before we even experience the world. A long list of things to not do, places not to go, people not to trust, words that are forbidden and on and on and on. Don’t go outside with damp hair, you’ll catch a cold. Don’t venture out alone into the woods, you’ll be eaten by wolves. Don’t touch the kettle, you’ll burn yourself. So you stay inside, never to go exploring, and you do not touch the kettle. And you are thankful because you are safe and you did not burn yourself. But you can never really know for sure if the kettle was hot or not. It could have all been a little white lie to protect your loved ones. After all, why unnecessarily risk the safety of your child’s fingers if he does reach for the hot metal? Best to be just precautions. Best to lie. You don’t have to be religious to have a crisis of faith. If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I do not understand how these individuals have survived so long without me. They should be commended. Like when a small child learns to walk. It is something they need to do and should come naturally to ensure its survival. Myself- I was walking almost the moment I was born but I am to understand not everyone is as gifted. There is something to be commended about the Great General Pip Manadarin, even though he understands how to walk, he will still crawl to give himself, I presume, some sort of tactical advantage. No matter how shameful or dishonourable it might appear from the outside looking in. He truly is a dragonborn that doesn’t care what people think of him, which must be a great relief to himself and those that he surrounds himself with. ...Because no one thinks very highly of the man you see.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hecktor Alabaster would die doing what he loved, trying to save someone else and never thinking about himself. Hecktor Alabaster was born on a hard stone table at his family's home in Northern Candor, the second child of decently well to do and hardworking parents. He came of a people who had been stonemasons for generations, men and women whose bodies became as hard and unbreakable as the stone they worked with. Hecktor Alabaster was a boy of quiet habits and soft hands whose mother would describe him as timid and shy. Reading stories of heroic knights and larger than life adventurers, Hecktor would often wish he could be anything other than like himself. He wished he was brave. He wished he was strong. But most of all, he wished he wasn't afraid of the dark. If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s more beautiful than I could ever have imagine. First the stars and now this. A glimpse of the moment when I first saw her. I can see I have past by many eyes but I only got lost in hers, and to get lost in those eyes all over again? Maybe this is heaven. Sometimes love is as easy as looking at the moon and sometimes it is as difficult as counting the stars. I knew then, just as I know now, that I want to do both with her.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Little dragon man always so confused. He like sapling bending away from sunlight. A sapling with mouth like howler monkey. And no ears. Think he knows everything but he doesn’t know anything. He need to listen. Listen like Smilk. Smilk understand. Smilk gets it.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Int. Gregory Bone’s Orphanage. NightWritten by Pep MandarinPep: please don’t go o brother of minePip: beloved sister, if it was up to me I would stay with you for eternity and a day, but that mean man Hardcastle has tricked me and I now serve him and his stupid causePep: please take me with you!Pip: no, I could not in good conscience put you in danger. I love you too much for a life of hardshipPep cries and hugs her brother’s leg tightly, refusing to let goPip: now now little one, you don’t have to be sad, I shan’t be gone long! Why don’t you write me while I am away? We can both practice our penmanship and be the bestest of friendsPep: R-really?Pip: of course little one, what have I always said?Pep: family is Important?Pip: and?Pep: we always stay together?Pip: see you later Pep. may the weather for your tea party be a pleasant 24 degrees (Celsius)Pep: not too hot, not too coldPip & Pep together: just rightPip and Pep hug. Pop is jealous.The EndIf you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here’s a horse, go track that very fast moving carriage. Why yes, it is indeed strange that all the creepy crawlies of Barovia know not to attack them. Why, isn’t it strange that those same creepy crawlies don’t owe me the same courtesy? Who do they think I am? Assassin Vine? It's just not cricket. Should have said to take me with them, drop me off outside the gates. Don’t worry! I won’t sneak into your spooky and terrifying probably full of ghosts castle, quite the opposite in fact. Just pinky promise me you won’t make a meal out of my meal ticket out of here and I’ll promise not to pay someone to drive a stake through your heart.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Loud ones make good herald. Voices carry. Strong. Like oak. Didn’t think little dragon man would do that. Only small problem. If need to, should be easy kill.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Once again I find myself wanting to help and I am yet again without the tools to do so. Moments ago I was prepared to kill these poor souls and now I'm racking my brain trying to think of ways to aid them. Why can't I let this go? Why must you take in every stray you come across? You have a mission. Kill Strahd. Or stop him. A monumentous and impossible task. But let's say it's achievable, will that solve anything? Or will that leave the people of Barovia unknowingly vulnerable? Is he really the unsung protector of these lands? If he is, he's not doing a very good job. Honestly, he spends more time sending out his generals to attack his own populace than providing any sort of protection. Or at least that's what I assume he's been doing. Speaking of generals, I wonder how Pip is going? The man led a small militia, a rag tag group of - I should be paying attention to what's going on, everything has calmed down but the wind is beginning to unnaturally pick up.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I do not know why he keeps yelling at me when I bring him back from the brink of dead. It’s not that he is ungrateful, or perhaps he is? I do not think he has a death wish. If that were the case, surely he’d have taken any of the many opportunities that has arisen before now. He seems more displeased at the choice of song, but it is just a spell!If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This one has yet to hear from that one or the other one. Why they so rude? Don't they know this one need to know if they go on perilous journey? If metaphor happen and they don't tell, how will audience understand and know greatest journey has deep meaning? This would be great tragedy. If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the Hunt Must be quick. Druid power grow stronger. Must fight. Must destroy. Must kill.Editor's note: around the 40 minute mark we switched microphones for a session, turns out that wasn't a: great choice. Apologies for the next few eps xx oIf you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Hecktor has gone and left us to fend for ourselves, great, just perfect. Plus everyone hates me, which I suppose isn't that unusual. What was it the monks at the monastery used to say? "Not only are you at your chores young Mandarin, you are also unlikeable in some undefinable way unrelated to the things you say or do." Oh and now we're fighting spiders. Capital.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I wish it didn't end this way, but just as day gives way to night, the sun has set on this man's life. As your warming rays begin to fade, we look back and find solace in a life well spent. May their memory, like the sun's enduring embrace, continue to bless us from the heavens. We pray that your radiant light leads them to their eternal sunset. And just as night returns to day, we welcome the oncoming dawn as your light chases away the shadow.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

...If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, it's raining, I'm covered in plants, I've lost count to the amount of times I have been stabbed and I think I can hear someone muttering something about Kerlova? Surely a vampire bride couldn't possible mesmerise one of my allies, they all have such strong will! If only I had known the joys of bleeding from multiple stab wounds caused by evil trees! If I had known about this sooner I would have run full pelt into a forest, as naked as the day I was born with my arms wide open at the sharpest branch! Please, somebody help me. I cannot die like this. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I will do everything to ensure that My Lady is prot- YOUR LADY? SOMEONE SO DEVINE WOULD NEVER LOOK AT YOU AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A WORM! A worm!? I am Wizard Supreme! YOU are the worm! And I’ll make sure I turn you into one with a simple flick of my wrist! HAHAHA I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY! YOUR STUPID SPELLS WILL JUST BOUNCE OFF MY SUPERIOR AND WELL DEFINED MUSCLES! AS THE FIRST BARBARIAN I WILL CRUSH YOUR SILLY SPELL WITH NO EFFORT! Wait you fool! If Our Lady is One with Nature surely being a worm would strengthen the bonds that tie us?! YOU MUST TURN ME INTO A WORM AT ONCE YOU STUPID WIZARD!If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pip continues to attempt to lead this ragtag confederacy in the absence of Hecktor. I wouldn't necessarily say that he's doing a bad job. As that would imply that he's at least doing the job at all. Perhaps now that he's once again in charge of a group of men, it's bringing back old memories and that's making him make mistakes.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I hope this is not a mistake, I hope this is the right choice. If there's a chance we can end this with no more bloodshed, no matter how small that chance is, wouldn't I be a fool to not take that chance? He can lead them in my stead. He's done it before and I know it did not end well. But he's grown since then. He has faith. I just hope the faith he puts in me he can put into himself. It would be much better spent.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hecktor's got a fancy invitation and bones above the god boy is seriously thinking of saying yes to a seven course dinner with the literal devil himself. Great. Well done everyone. We really hitched our wagon to the world's cleverest man.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.