Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & Jop

In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) explore one of the most emotionally charged and increasingly common issues in modern separation: what happens to pets during divorce?With a special guest appearance from “Buddy” 🐶, the conversation unpacks how Australian family law now treats pets—legally defined as “companion animals”—and what that means for separating couples.Pets Are Now “Companion Animals” Under the LawThe episode opens with a major legal update:Under recent changes to the Family Law Act, pets are now formally recognised as companion animalsHowever, they are still legally classified as propertyThis means:No “custody” or “residence” orders in the traditional senseCourts determine ownership and possession, not shared parenting arrangementsWhy Pets Matter So Much in SeparationBoth hosts acknowledge the emotional reality:Pets are often seen as “fur babies”They play a significant emotional role in family structuresAttachment can be strong for:ChildrenPartnersEntire householdsDespite this emotional significance, the law still treats them through a property lens, not a family member lens.How Courts Decide Who Gets the PetThe hosts break down the key factors courts consider:Who is the registered ownerWho purchased the animalWho performs daily care:FeedingWalkingGroomingVeterinary careWho has had the primary relationship with the petThe court may also consider:Financial responsibilityLiving arrangements post-separationPractical ability to care for the animalFamily Violence and PetsA serious and important aspect of the discussion:Pets can be used as tools in coercive control and emotional abuseCourts recognise that animals may be:Subject to harmUsed to intimidate or manipulate a partner or childrenThis can influence outcomes where safety concerns existNo “Shared Custody” of Pets (Legally)One of the clearest legal points in the episode:Australian family law does not recognise shared care arrangements for petsOutcomes are limited to:One party retaining ownershipTransfer of ownershipSale or disposal of the animal (rare and undesirable outcome)The hosts reflect on how this contrasts with common informal agreements people try to make (e.g. “week-on, week-off pet arrangements”), which have no formal legal standing under the Act.Emotional and Legal Conflict in Pet DisputesThe episode highlights real-world tensions:Pets are often used as leverage in separation disputesDisputes can reflect deeper relationship breakdown issuesCourts are increasingly aware of:Strategic use of pets in negotiationsEmotional pressure placed through pet possessionCase Insight: When Attachment Collides with OwnershipA case example discussed:A child formed a strong attachment to a dogDespite emotional factors, the court awarded the dog to the parent who was the primary owner and caregiverKey takeaway:Emotional attachment is considered, but does not override ownership and caregiving evidence.The Parrot in Court – A Humorous Legal Anecdote 🦜A memorable story from the episode:A court dispute over a macaw parrotThe bird repeated insulting phrases during proceedingsThe judge observed the behaviour and awarded the bird to the husbandThe story highlights:How unpredictable evidence can beThe humorous reality of property disputes involving animalsStrategic Insight: Pets Can Become LeverageThe hosts caution listeners that:Pets can unintentionally become bargaining toolsEarly legal advice is important to avoid escalationCourts are increasingly attentive to underlying coercion or manipulationConnect with Dear Divorce DiaryFollow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations about separation, parenting, family violence, court processes, mediation, and rebuilding life after divorce.Available on:YouTubeSpotifyTikTokInstagramLinkedInListeners are encouraged to continue sending topic suggestions, questions, and lived experiences via social media DMs for future episodes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) unpack one of the most emotionally charged and legally risky issues in parenting disputes: withholding children when court orders are in place—or when they’re about to be made.Through candid discussion, practical legal insight, and real courtroom dynamics, the episode explores when (if ever) a parent can justify not complying with parenting orders, and what consequences follow when they do.⚖️ Key Themes & Discussion BreakdownThe Golden Rule: Court Orders Must Be FollowedThe episode opens with a firm reminder from both hosts:Court orders are not optional.Parents who unilaterally withhold children risk serious legal consequences.Even where frustration or concern exists, the legal system expects compliance first, action through the courts second.Darren emphasizes a strong judicial expectation of adherence unless there is a genuine and urgent safety concern.When Can a Parent Withhold Children?Joplin outlines the narrow exceptions where withholding may be justified:Exposure to family violenceDrug or alcohol abuse impacting safetyNeglect or serious risk factorsHowever, both hosts stress a key distinction:Genuine risk ≠ assumptions, suspicion, or emotional reaction.They highlight a common problem in family law:Parents sometimes withhold based on beliefs (“he might be using drugs”) rather than evidence.Courts require a clear evidentiary foundation, not speculation.What Happens When a Parent Withholds a Child?If a parent refuses to comply:The other parent may bring a recovery applicationThe court may involve the Australian Federal Police (AFP) to locate and return childrenOrders can escalate to warrants and enforcement mechanismsThe withholding parent must later justify their actions in courtKey warning:If you withhold first and explain later, you are already at a disadvantage.The “Front Foot” Strategy (Critical Advice)Both hosts agree on best practice:If you believe there is risk:File an application in proceedings immediatelyProvide a detailed affidavit explaining concernsConsider updating a Notice of RiskSeek urgent legal adviceThis approach:Protects the parent legallyEnsures transparency with the courtReduces criticism for unilateral actionSupervised Contact & Interim SolutionsThe episode explores supervised arrangements:Supervised contact centres can provide independent observation evidenceThey can ensure child safety while maintaining parental relationshipsHowever, courts are reluctant to impose long-term supervisionContravention vs Recovery ApplicationsA detailed procedural discussion covers:Recovery ApplicationsFocus: returning a child to compliance with ordersCan trigger AFP involvementContravention ApplicationsFocus: punishing breaches of ordersPotential outcomes:FinesOrders for counsellingParenting programsIn extreme cases, imprisonmentHowever, both hosts note:Contravention applications are often slow, expensive, and strategically complexCourts frequently encourage parties to streamline proceedingsWeaponisation of Children in DisputesA major theme of the episode is misuse of allegations:Courts are alert to strategic withholdingEmotional conflict between parents must not override child-focused reasoningJudges scrutinise whether claims are:Genuine protection concernsOr relational retaliationKey Legal Insight: Best Interests of the ChildThroughout the episode, the guiding principle remains:Children’s relationships with each parent are separate from parental conflict.Courts assess:SafetyStabilityEmotional wellbeingCapacity of each parent to support the other relationship Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this emotionally charged and deeply practical episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins tackle one of the most heartbreaking and legally complex issues in family law: relocation after separation.What happens when one parent wants to move interstate… or overseas… with the children?Can the court stop a parent from leaving Australia?Does a mother or father have the “right” to move home?What happens when children are caught between two countries, two cultures, and two parents who both love them?Through a powerful role-play scenario involving a separated Australian-Norwegian family, Darren and Joplin unpack exactly how relocation disputes unfold inside the Family Court — from emotional arguments and legal strategy to parenting proposals and the harsh reality of what judges actually look for.This episode explores the devastating emotional impact relocation cases can have on families, while giving listeners a rare behind-the-scenes look at how these cases are argued, assessed, and ultimately decided.🌍 International Relocation After DivorceDarren and Joplin explore what happens when one parent wants to relocate internationally with children following separation — particularly where one parent feels isolated, unsupported, or desperately wants to return to family overseas.The episode examines:Moving overseas after divorce or separationRelocating interstate with childrenThe difference between a parent’s rights and a child’s best interestsWhether courts can stop a parent from leaving AustraliaThe emotional impact of relocation litigationThe Norway Scenario: A Realistic Courtroom Role PlayThrough an emotionally realistic mock separation between “Svetlana” and her Australian husband, the episode demonstrates:How relocation disputes beginCommon mistakes parents make during negotiationsHow quickly conversations become adversarialWhy wording and attitude matter in courtThe danger of becoming positional and hostileThe fictional scenario highlights issues including:Sick overseas parentsCultural identityChildren with dual heritageLong-distance parentingSchooling and support systemsMaintaining meaningful relationships with both parentsKey Legal Topics Discussed⚖️ What Judges Look For in Relocation CasesDarren and Joplin explain that relocation cases are not about “winning” as a parent — they are about what is in the best interests of the children.Key considerations include:The child’s relationship with each parentExisting care arrangementsEmotional and practical support available overseasWhether the relocating parent can facilitate ongoing contactSchooling and stabilityFinancial practicalityLong-term parenting proposalsEmotional wellbeing of the relocating parent✈️ Can the Court Stop a Parent Leaving Australia?The episode discusses:Airport watchlists and injunctionsRecovery ordersRelocation applicationsInterim versus final hearingsWhy courts rarely make permanent relocation decisions urgentlyListeners gain insight into how quickly relocation matters can escalate once one parent fears the children may leave the country.📱 Technology and Long-Distance ParentingDarren and Joplin discuss how modern communication tools like:FaceTimeSkypeVideo callsMessaging appshave changed the way courts assess international parenting arrangements.But they also explain the harsh truth:Technology can help maintain relationships — but it can never fully replace physical parenting time.The Importance of Child-Focused ProposalsOne of the strongest themes throughout the episode is this:Connect with Dear Divorce DiaryFollow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations about separation, parenting, family violence, court processes, mediation, and rebuilding life after divorce.Available on:YouTubeSpotifyTikTokInstagramLinkedInListeners are encouraged to continue sending topic suggestions, questions, and lived experiences via social media DMs for future episodes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In one of the most confronting and candid episodes of Dear Divorce Diary so far, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins tackle a topic rarely spoken about openly in family law — pornography, addiction, intimacy, coercion, and the impact it can have on marriages, parenting, finances, and divorce proceedings.This is not a sensationalist conversation. It’s a nuanced and thoughtful discussion about how pornography increasingly appears in affidavit material, relationship breakdowns, financial disputes, coercive control allegations, and parenting concerns inside the family court system.Darren and Jop explore the difficult reality that pornography itself is not illegal — but the way it affects relationships, consent, emotional safety, financial stability, and family dynamics can become deeply problematic.When Pornography Becomes a Family Law IssueDarren and Jop discuss how pornography increasingly surfaces during:Initial client consultationsParenting disputesFinancial settlementsFamily violence allegationsAffidavit evidenceAddiction-related relationship breakdownsThe conversation examines the point where:private viewing habits,online platforms,or sexual behaviours…move from personal choice into behaviour that damages a relationship or family unit.Pornography, Addiction & Relationship BreakdownThe hosts unpack:How compulsive pornography use can affect intimacyEmotional disconnection between partnersThe erosion of trust and sexual relationshipsSleep disruption and addictive behavioursEscalating sexual conduct and risk-takingJoplin explains how addiction patterns seen in pornography cases can mirror:gambling addiction,drug addiction,alcohol dependency,and other compulsive behaviours that destabilise families.The Financial Impact Inside Marriage & DivorceOne of the major themes of the episode is how pornography-related spending can become relevant in property proceedings.Darren and Jop discuss:subscription-based adult platforms,spending on explicit online content,OnlyFans,escort and brothel services,hidden financial expenditure,and the impact these behaviours can have on shared family finances.The episode explores how financial depletion linked to addiction can become a significant issue during property settlements.OnlyFans, Online Content & CoercionThe conversation takes a modern turn as the hosts discuss:the growing presence of OnlyFans in family law cases,coercive pressure within relationships,online sexual content creation,and how explicit content can later become weaponised during legal proceedings.Joplin raises concerns about:coercive behaviour involving online adult content,financial pressure placed on partners,and the emotional harm that can follow when intimate material later surfaces during separation.Parenting Concerns & Exposure to ChildrenDarren shares examples of cases where:children accidentally discovered explicit content,browsing histories were exposed,or concerns arose regarding the type of material being viewed in the home.The hosts discuss:parental responsibility,safeguarding children,exposure risks,and how family courts may assess concerns when children are impacted by adult content within the household.Pornography & Family ViolenceOne of the most serious parts of the episode explores the overlap between:pornography,coercion,aggressive sexual behaviour,and family violence.The discussion examines:sexual coercion inside relationships,desensitisation,consent issues,and how some behaviours may cross into emotionally or physically abusive conduct.Importantly, Darren and Jop stress the need for:open communication,early intervention,counselling,and support before these issues escalate and destroy relationships.Connect With Dear Divorce DiaryHave a topic or lived experience you’d like Darren and Joplin to discuss?Reach out via:InstagramTikTokLinkedInYouTubeSpotifySearch for: Dear Divorce Diary Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful and deeply practical episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins unpack one of the most misunderstood parts of the family law system — mediation.After receiving a flood of listener messages and social media comments, Darren and Jop dive into the reality of Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), court-ordered mediation, shuttle negotiations, coercive control during mediation, and whether the system is genuinely helping separating families — or simply creating another layer of trauma.From unsafe mediation experiences to “tick-box” certificates, legally assisted negotiations, family violence dynamics, and the emotional pressure placed on victim survivors, this episode delivers a brutally honest look at what really happens behind closed doors in family law negotiations.Are Family Law Mediations Actually Safe?The episode begins with a confronting listener message from a woman who says she felt deeply unsafe during a shuttle mediation — despite being physically separated from her former partner.Darren and Joplin explore:Why “safe” in legal terms can feel very different emotionally for victim survivorsThe hidden trauma of mediation environmentsHow coercive control can continue during negotiations — even without direct contactWhy some victim survivors feel pressured into agreementsThe “Tick Box” Problem in Family LawOne of the biggest discussion points is the criticism of mediation certificates under Section 60I of the Family Law Act.The hosts discuss:Whether some mediations have become procedural hurdles rather than genuine negotiationsConcerns that some parties attend mediation in bad faithWhy some mediators fail to identify abusive or manipulative behaviourThe frustration of receiving the same certificate as a party who engaged respectfullyJoplin raises concerns about:Inexperienced mediatorsDelays in government-funded mediation servicesLack of legal understanding from some facilitatorsThe risks this creates in family violence mattersWhen Mediation Becomes Another Form of ControlThis episode takes a powerful turn as Darren and Jop discuss how:Refusing to attend mediationDeliberately withholding financial documentsFailing to negotiate genuinelyCreating delays…can become extensions of coercive and controlling behaviour.The conversation examines:Power imbalances in negotiationsHow emotional abuse can continue through legal processesThe psychological impact of prolonged proceedingsWhy some cases are simply “not settleable”Legally Assisted Mediation vs Government ServicesDarren and Jop openly compare:Private mediation servicesGovernment-funded FDR programsCourt-based mediationChild-inclusive conferencesRegistrar-led negotiationsThey discuss why:The skill and experience of the mediator matters enormouslyFamily law knowledge is critical in parenting disputesCheap mediation can sometimes become expensive laterGood mediation requires preparation, realism, and strategyKey Topics CoveredFamily Dispute Resolution (FDR)Section 60I certificatesCoercive control in mediationShuttle mediationVictim survivor safetyFamily violence and negotiationCourt-ordered mediationParenting disputesChild-inclusive mediationLitigation fatiguePower imbalances in family lawReality testing in negotiationsMediation strategiesTrauma-informed legal practice“Some cases are not settleable.”Darren and Jop discuss why forcing compromise in high-conflict or family violence matters can sometimes create more harm than good.“You get what you pay for.”Joplin delivers a candid assessment of under-resourced mediation services and why legal expertise matters during negotiations.Connect With Dear Divorce DiaryHave a question or topic you’d like Darren and Joplin to discuss?Reach out via:InstagramTikTokLinkedInYouTubeSearch for: Dear Divorce DiaryYour lived experiences and questions continue shaping the conversations featured on the podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this practical and highly informative episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law barrister Darren Mort and family lawyer Joplin Higgins answer one of the most common questions sent in by listeners navigating the family law system without legal representation.Drawing directly from a listener question submitted through social media, Darren and Joplin unpack the reality of preparing for a final hearing in the Family Court as a self-represented litigant.This episode delivers real-world insight, courtroom practicalities, and critical guidance for people trying to navigate one of the most stressful legal processes of their lives.Preparing for Final Hearing Without a LawyerThe episode begins with a listener question from someone representing themselves in Family Court who is unsure:What documents need to be filedWhether submissions are requiredHow to comply with court ordersHow to avoid offending the courtDarren and Joplin break down the practical realities of self-representation and explain why preparation, organisation, and understanding court expectations are absolutely critical.Understanding Court Orders & Filing DeadlinesJoplin stresses the importance of:Reading every court order carefullyCreating checklistsTracking deadlines properlyFiling documents early — not at the last minuteThe discussion highlights how procedural mistakes can seriously affect a case and why practical organisation matters just as much as legal argument.The Often-Forgotten “Notice of Risk” DocumentOne of the standout moments of the episode is Joplin’s practical advice regarding:The Notice of Child Abuse / Notice of Risk documentWhy parties should consider updating itHow significant incidents often occur after proceedings first beginWhy these documents remain important throughout parenting proceedingsThis section provides listeners with valuable insight into how courts assess risk and family violence concerns.Affidavits: Telling Your Story ProperlyDarren and Joplin explain one of the biggest mistakes self-represented litigants make:Treating their affidavit as an emotional response document instead of evidenceThe episode explores:Why affidavits should focus on your own case theoryThe dangers of responding line-by-line to the other partyHow word limits matterThe importance of relevance and structureWhy “less is more” in many areas of litigationJoplin explains that an affidavit should present:“Your story — not just your reaction to someone else’s story.”Why Independent Legal Review Is Worth ItEven for people representing themselves, both Darren and Joplin strongly recommend:Having a lawyer review documents before filingGetting advice on hearsay and relevanceUnderstanding evidentiary rulesRefining affidavit structure and toneThe episode explains why even limited legal guidance can significantly strengthen a self-represented case.Key Themes DiscussedSelf-represented litigants in Family CourtPreparing for final hearingFamily law affidavit draftingCourt filing tipsCase outlines and submissionsNotice of Risk documentsParenting proceedingsEvidence and strategy in family lawPractical Family Court guidanceFamily violence considerations in litigationListener TakeawayThis episode is essential listening for:Self-represented litigantsPeople preparing for Family CourtParents involved in parenting disputesAnyone trying to understand how Family Court actually works behind the scenesIt offers practical, grounded advice from two experienced family law professionals who understand both the legal system — and the emotional toll it can take on families.Connect With Dear Divorce DiaryFollow Dear Divorce Diary for honest conversations around:Family lawSeparationParenting disputesDomestic and family violenceCourt preparationTrauma-informed legal practiceReal-life courtroom experiences🎧 Available now on podcast platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

⚠️ Trigger Warning:This episode contains discussions surrounding coercive control, family violence, emotional abuse, psychological harm, victim survival responses, and trauma-informed legal practice.Listener discretion is advised.In this deeply important follow-up episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law barrister Darren Mort and family lawyer Joplin Higgins revisit one of the most confronting and misunderstood topics in family law: coercive control.Responding directly to a listener message sent via TikTok following their earlier episode on coercive and controlling behaviour, Darren and Joplin unpack one of the most common — and harmful — public questions surrounding family violence:“Why didn’t they just leave?”This conversation explores the reality that coercive control is rarely obvious, rarely isolated, and almost never simple.What This Episode CoversUnderstanding Coercive Control Beyond Physical ViolenceJoplin explains that coercive control is not one singular act — it is often a layered pattern of behaviours that can include:Emotional abuseFinancial controlIsolation from support networksThreats and intimidationManipulationMonitoring and surveillancePsychological degradationFear-based dependencyThe discussion highlights how difficult coercive control can be to identify, particularly because many victim survivors may not initially recognise the behaviour as abuse themselves.The Importance of Asking the Right QuestionsA major focus of this episode is how lawyers, professionals, friends, and support people can better respond to victim survivors.Joplin discusses:Trauma-informed communicationThe importance of indirect and follow-up questioningAvoiding re-traumatisationCreating emotional safety during disclosureTaking detailed notes so victims don’t have to repeatedly relive traumaThe episode shines a light on how sensitive and skilled communication can help identify patterns of coercive behaviour that may otherwise remain hidden.Why Leaving Isn’t SimpleDarren and Joplin strongly challenge the damaging misconception that victims can “just leave.”The episode explores:Fear of retaliationThreats of self-harm by perpetratorsThreats involving childrenFinancial dependenceEmotional traumaSafety planningThe psychological paralysis caused by ongoing abuseThey explain that leaving a coercively controlling relationship is often the most dangerous period for a victim survivor.How Friends & Family Can Safely Support Someone Experiencing AbuseOne of the most practical sections of this episode focuses on what supportive friends can do.Joplin shares examples of trauma-informed support strategies including:Creating a safe home environmentEstablishing emergency safe wordsHolding important documents securelyProviding emotional support without judgmentAvoiding pressure or ultimatumsRespecting the victim survivor’s pace and safety assessmentThe conversation stresses that support should centre around safety and empowerment — not control or expectation.Listener NoteIf this episode raises concerns for you or someone you know, please seek support from a qualified domestic violence service, counsellor, legal professional, or emergency service in your area.Connect With Dear Divorce DiaryFollow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations around:Family lawSeparationParenting disputesTrauma and recoveryDomestic and family violenceCourt processesRelationships and emotional wellbeing🎧 Available on podcast platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and LinkedIn. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this brutally honest and often darkly humorous episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) dive into one of the biggest modern dangers in separation and divorce proceedings — social media.From angry Facebook rants and passive-aggressive memes to dating app disasters, GoFundMe controversies and children being exposed to online conflict, this episode explores how social media behaviour can seriously damage:Parenting casesFamily law proceedingsPersonal credibilityMental healthChildren’s wellbeingDaz & Jop explain why courts are increasingly examining online behaviour under a microscope — and why one impulsive post can become devastating evidence in the courtroom.The episode delivers practical insight, cautionary tales and hard truths about how people sabotage themselves online during separation.“People Act Like Absolute Fools On Social Media”The Impact On ChildrenA major focus of the discussion is the devastating effect social media conflict has on children.The episode explores:Children reading posts about their parentsSchool bullying linked to family court disputesFriends and classmates discovering online conflictEmotional embarrassment and shameLong-term damage to parent-child relationshipsDaz shares examples of children being ridiculed at school after parents publicly posted inflammatory content online.The hosts repeatedly reinforce:The Family Court prioritises the best interests of children — and social media warfare rarely reflects that.Social Media As Court EvidenceDaz & Jop explain how family lawyers, barristers and Independent Children’s Lawyers routinely conduct “deep dives” into parties’ social media accounts.The episode highlights how courts may examine:Facebook postsTikTok videosInstagram storiesComments sectionsDating profilesGoFundMe campaignsText message labels and contact namesJop explains that social media can reveal:Personality traitsEmotional instabilityAggressionParenting attitudesDenigration of the other parentPoor judgmentKey Takeaways From This EpisodeSocial media posts regularly become evidence in family court proceedings.Children are often deeply impacted by parents’ online conflict.Passive-aggressive memes and public attacks can seriously damage credibility.Dating profiles and fundraising pages may create legal complications.Courts increasingly examine digital behaviour closely.Online conduct may influence parenting decisions and intervention order proceedings.Emotional “purging” online rarely helps legal outcomes.If you wouldn’t want a judge reading it aloud in court — don’t post it.About The HostsDarren MortFamily law barrister focused on parenting disputes, family violence and trauma-informed advocacy.Joplin HigginsFamily lawyer, Director of Joplin Lawyers and advocate for trauma-informed family law practice.Listener AdviceIf you are currently navigating separation or family law proceedings:Avoid posting emotionally reactive content onlineNever involve children in online disputesAssume all posts may eventually be read in courtSeek legal advice before engaging publicly about proceedingsPrioritise your children’s emotional wellbeing above online validationJoin The ConversationHave a question or topic suggestion for Dear Divorce Diary?Connect with Darren and Joplin via:TikTokInstagramLinkedInYouTubePodcast platformsDM your questions, experiences or future topic ideas for upcoming episodes.Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

⚠️ Trigger WarningThis episode contains detailed discussion surrounding:Domestic and family violenceStrangulation and chokingTrauma and coercive controlPsychological abuseCourt processes involving victim-survivorsListener discretion is strongly advised.Episode OverviewIn one of the most confronting and emotionally powerful episodes of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) tackle the deeply serious topic of strangulation within intimate relationships — and why it is considered one of the strongest indicators of future lethality in domestic violence situations.Drawing on their extensive experience within the family law and court systems, Daz and Jop unpack:How coercive and controlling behaviour escalates into physical violenceWhy strangulation is treated as an extreme risk factorThe devastating psychological and physiological impacts on victim-survivorsHow criminal and family law systems intersect in these mattersThe evidentiary challenges victims faceWhy trauma-informed legal support is criticalThe long-term impact family violence has on childrenThe urgent need for education, prevention and cultural changeThis episode is both educational and deeply human — offering insight into the realities faced by victim-survivors navigating separation, parenting and the legal system after severe domestic violence.Key Discussion Points:The Hidden Medical ConsequencesDaz and Jop discuss how many victim-survivors never seek immediate medical treatment following strangulation incidents — often due to fear, trauma or shock.They highlight serious medical consequences including:Acquired brain injuriesMemory loss and amnesiaOxygen deprivationEsophagus and airway injuriesLong-term neurological damageSevere psychological trauma and PTSDJop strongly encourages victim-survivors to seek urgent medical attention and documentation after any strangulation incident.Why Victims Often Don’t Report ImmediatelyOne of the most important parts of the episode examines why victim-survivors may delay reporting violence to police, doctors or the courts.The conversation explores:Fear of retaliationTrauma responsesEmotional paralysisConcern for childrenFinancial dependencyPsychological conditioning through coercive controlDaz explains how defence teams in court often scrutinise “contemporaneous reporting” — meaning whether incidents were immediately reported — despite the complex trauma responses victims experience.About The HostsDarren MortFamily law barrister, advocate and commentator focused on family violence, parenting matters and trauma-informed legal practice.Joplin HigginsFamily lawyer, author and Director of Joplin Lawyers, recognised for her work in family violence advocacy and victim-survivor support.Join The ConversationIf this episode resonates with you, or you have questions about family law, coercive control, parenting, domestic violence or separation:Connect via InstagramReach out on TikTokMessage through LinkedInShare your topic suggestions for future episodesListener SupportIf this episode has raised concerns for you or someone you know, support is available through Australian domestic violence and crisis services.You are encouraged to seek assistance from:Call Triple Zero - Police in emergenciesDomestic violence support servicesTrauma-informed counsellorsMedical professionalsLegal practitioners experienced in family violence mattersFollow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this thought-provoking episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) tackle one of the most emotionally charged issues in family law: extra-marital affairs and their impact on separation and divorce.Although Australia operates under a no-fault divorce system, Daz and Jop explore why affairs can still play a significant role in the breakdown of relationships, family dynamics, parenting arrangements, and even allegations of coercive and controlling behaviour.The discussion moves beyond the traditional concept of infidelity and examines how affairs can become intertwined with:Emotional abusePsychological harmFamily violence dynamicsCoercive controlFamily contributions and relationship breakdownKey TakeawaysThis episode highlights the reality that while Australia has a no-fault divorce system, the emotional and behavioural consequences of affairs can still have profound effects on:FamiliesParenting relationshipsMental healthCourt proceedingsAllegations of coercive or emotionally abusive conductImportant themes explored include:Respect and honesty during relationship breakdownThe emotional impact of betrayalThe evolving role of coercive control in family lawHow modern technology is changing relationshipsThe importance of understanding the broader context surrounding infidelityFor more conversations about separation, parenting, relationships and navigating the family law system, follow Dear Divorce Diary on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook and TikTok.New episodes explore complex family law topics with practical insights and real-world discussion designed to help listeners better understand the divorce process.Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coercive and controlling behaviour is one of the most complex and widely discussed issues in family law today.In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law professionals Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins explore how this behaviour appears in relationships, how it is interpreted in the court system, and why it can be difficult to prove.Through an unscripted role-play scenario, Darren and Joplin demonstrate how two people in the same relationship can experience the same situation very differently.The discussion highlights how patterns of behaviour—rather than isolated incidents—are often the key to understanding coercive control within marriages and during divorce proceedings.What Is Coercive and Controlling Behaviour?The episode begins by unpacking the meaning of coercive control, a form of family violence that may not involve physical harm but can include psychological, financial, or emotional manipulation.Darren and Joplin explain that many people struggle to identify coercive control because:It often occurs gradually over timeIt may involve subtle forms of manipulationVictims may feel constantly on edge or fearful without clear incidents of physical violenceThis makes the issue both legally and emotionally complex.Financial Control vs Household BudgetingA key discussion point is the difference between legitimate financial management and financial abuse.Joplin explains that setting a household budget is normal in many relationships. However, financial behaviour may become controlling when it includes:Restricting access to moneyRequiring detailed justification for everyday spendingMonitoring purchases in a way that undermines autonomyControlling access to government payments or incomeThese patterns can lead to a situation where one partner loses financial independence.Patterns of Behaviour in Family LawBoth Darren and Joplin emphasise that coercive control is rarely defined by a single incident.Instead, courts typically look for:Repeated behaviours over timeA pattern that demonstrates power or dominanceConduct that creates fear, dependence, or restriction for the other partnerUnderstanding this pattern is essential for lawyers when preparing cases and presenting evidence.Challenges in Proving Coercive ControlOne of the biggest challenges in family law is proving coercive behaviour in court.Unlike physical violence, coercive control often leaves little physical evidence. Instead, it may rely on:Personal accounts of behaviourRecorded communicationsFinancial recordsWitness testimonyPatterns of conduct over timeBecause of this, lawyers must spend significant time building a detailed background history of the relationship.This episode provides valuable insight into one of the most debated and evolving areas of family law.Important takeaways include:Coercive control often involves patterns of behaviour rather than single incidentsFinancial management can become problematic when it restricts autonomy or independenceEvidence of coercive behaviour requires detailed documentation and legal preparationContext and relationship dynamics are critical when assessing allegationsAs Darren and Joplin highlight, coercive control is a complex legal and social issue, and understanding it requires careful examination of both personal experiences and legal standards.Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Money can become one of the most confusing and confronting aspects of separation and divorce.In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) unpack the importance of financial literacy when navigating property settlements.They explore why many people (particularly women) enter divorce proceedings with little understanding of their financial position, and why gaining clarity around assets, debts, and superannuation is critical before negotiating a settlement.From balance sheets and disclosure obligations to mediation preparation and superannuation splits, this episode provides practical insights into how financial transparency shapes fair outcomes in family law matters.What Is Financial Literacy in Divorce?Darren and Joplin begin by explaining the concept of financial literacy and why it becomes a critical issue during separation.Many people move through relationships with one partner managing most of the finances, which can leave the other partner unaware of:Bank accountsDebtsInvestmentsSuperannuationLoans or liabilitiesWhen separation occurs, this lack of awareness can create significant stress and uncertainty.The Balance Sheet: Understanding the Asset PoolOne of the first steps in a property settlement is creating a balance sheet that lists the entire financial position of the relationship.This typically includes:Real estate and propertyBank accountsCredit cards and loansSuperannuationShare portfoliosVehicles, boats or other major assetsJoplin explains that many clients are surprised by what appears on the balance sheet, particularly when they discover debts or accounts they didn’t know existed.When Financial Information Is HiddenDarren and Joplin discuss situations where one partner restricts access to financial documents or accounts.Examples may include:Locked financial recordsUnexplained bank transfersUnknown credit cards or debtsLimited access to financial information during the relationshipWhile this behaviour does not always amount to financial abuse, it can sometimes indicate controlling or obstructive behaviour that may become relevant in legal proceedings.Understanding Superannuation in DivorceSuperannuation is often one of the largest assets in a marriage, yet many people know little about how it works in property settlements.Darren and Joplin discuss:Obtaining accurate superannuation balancesUsing court forms to request updated super informationThe difference between standard funds and defined benefit schemesDefined benefit funds—often found in sectors such as police, defence, or emergency services—can require special valuation methods.The Role of Consent OrdersIf an agreement is reached, it can be formalised through Consent Orders, which are submitted to the court for approval.The court must determine whether the agreement is “just and equitable” before making it legally binding.This ensures that property settlements reflect a fair division of assets and liabilities.This episode highlights the critical importance of understanding your finances during a relationship and particularly during separation.Important lessons include:Know your financial positionMaintain access to financial recordsUnderstand your assets and liabilitiesSeek legal advice before negotiating settlementsEnsure agreements are properly documented and approved by the courtFinancial literacy can significantly impact the fairness, efficiency, and outcome of divorce proceedings.Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when someone simply ignores Family Court orders?In this episode, Darren and Joplin unpack one of the most frustrating situations in family law: when a parent refuses to comply with parenting orders or consent orders.They discuss what the law says, what practical options exist for the parent doing the right thing, and why non-compliance can create serious consequences - particularly for children caught in the middle.The conversation also explores whether the current legal tools for enforcing orders are effective, and why some legal processes may be more costly and time-consuming than people expect.Darren and Joplin cover a wide range of issues surrounding breaches of Family Court orders, including:What court orders actually meanWhy parenting orders and consent orders are legally bindingThe expectation that court orders must be followedThe consequences when someone deliberately ignores themWhat to do when orders aren’t followedThe typical first step: lawyers sending formal letters requesting complianceWhen and how a contravention application may be filedWhy these applications can become complex and expensiveContravention proceedings explainedHow these matters are treated as civil proceedings with potential criminal sanctionsThe steps involved, including mediation and court processesWhy Darren believes contravention applications are sometimes ineffectiveAlternative approachesWhy enforcement proceedings may sometimes be a faster or more flexible optionHow courts may address repeated breaches or ongoing conflictThe Impact on ChildrenA key theme in the discussion is how non-compliance with court orders affects children.Darren and Joplin discuss:The emotional pressure placed on children when parents refuse to cooperateHow children may feel caught between parentsWhy compliance with orders is essential for maintaining stability in children’s livesThey also explore the difficult situations that arise when teenagers begin expressing their own preferences about time with each parent.When Kids Get OlderAs children move into their teenage years, family dynamics can change.Topics discussed include:Whether parenting orders should remain rigid when children are olderThe growing importance of a child’s voice in family law mattersHow parents can responsibly communicate about changing needs and schedulesThe Role of MediationThroughout the episode, Darren and Joplin emphasise the value of mediation as a tool for resolving disputes.They discuss:When mediation may help resolve parenting issues before returning to courtChild-inclusive mediation and how it can help give children a voiceThe importance of parents being willing to listen and compromisePractical Parenting InsightThe episode concludes with a discussion about maintaining meaningful relationships with children in separated families.Darren shares the value of spending one-on-one time with children, allowing parents to better understand:How their children are feelingTheir evolving needs and social livesHow parenting arrangements are working from the child’s perspectiveCourt orders exist to provide clarity, structure, and stability for families after separation. When those orders are ignored, it can lead to costly legal battles and emotional strain—particularly for children.As Darren and Joplin highlight, the best outcomes usually come when parents communicate openly, remain child-focused, and use mediation wherever possible.Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this deeply insightful episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law barrister Darren “Daz” Mort and solicitor Joplin “Jop” Higgins tackle one of the most emotionally charged and misunderstood topics in family law: the role of grandparents after separation.Prompted by a wave of listener questions, Daz and Jop unpack the common misconception that grandparents have “rights” in the family law system — and explain why, legally, all rights belong to the child.What grandparents do have, however, are responsibilities, and in many cases a profoundly important role in a child’s emotional stability, routine and sense of belonging.The conversation explores:When and how grandparents can seek time with their grandchildrenWhy courts often support ongoing grandparent relationshipsThe impact of separation, anger and grief on extended family bondsWhen grandparents should consider mediation or court applicationsThe long-term consequences of cutting children off from loving grandparentsThrough real-world examples — from after-school care to funerals, cultural traditions and long-distance relationships — this episode highlights how decisions made in moments of hurt can echo well into a child’s future.As always, the focus remains firmly on the child’s best interests, encouraging parents and grandparents alike to look beyond conflict, prioritise perspective, and keep their eyes on the road ahead rather than the rear-view mirror.A must-listen for grandparents, parents, and anyone navigating separation with children involved.Why This Episode MattersWhether someone is just contemplating separation or deep into negotiations, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate look at what the process actually feels like — beyond forms and courtrooms. The blend of legal insight and emotional awareness helps listeners feel equipped, not overwhelmed, by the road ahead.And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 6 of Dear Divorce Diaries, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins dive into a topic that is often misunderstood and frequently misused in family law — trauma-informed practice.Daz & Jop explain why this term is not just a trendy buzzword, and why many lawyers and judicial officers may not truly understand what it means in practice. Joplin, a recognised expert in the field and author of a book on trauma-informed practice, explains how lawyers and courts must ensure they do not re-traumatise clients during the legal process.The episode explores the practical application of trauma-informed approaches in family law. Joplin describes strategies used in her firm to create a safe environment, including:weighted blankets and heat packsstress ballsmassage chairsstructured communication strategies (urgent vs non-urgent emails)pre-conference forms to avoid repeatedly asking clients to recount traumatic incidentsThey discuss how domestic violence and coercive behaviour are present in many family law cases, and why it’s essential to handle information sensitively. The hosts also highlight how the legal process can unintentionally cause ongoing trauma, especially when clients are repeatedly asked to relive painful events.Darren highlights the court’s trauma-informed initiatives, including the court dog program, which supports parties and children through the process. They also discuss the need for lawyers to be aware of clients’ capacity to give instructions, and how trauma can affect memory and communication.Joplin emphasises that trauma-informed practice is not just about empathy — it is about creating safety, stability, and clarity so clients can participate effectively in their case. The episode ends with a powerful reminder that trauma-informed practice is a professional responsibility, not a marketing term, and clients should expect it from their family lawyer.Key Topics Covered:What “trauma-informed practice” actually meansWhy it’s not just a buzzwordHow legal processes can re-traumatise clientsPractical strategies in law firms to reduce stressWhy communication strategy matters (urgent vs non-urgent)How domestic violence and coercive behaviour impact casesCourt initiatives like the therapy dog programThe importance of safe client environmentsTrauma’s impact on clients’ capacity to give instructionsWhy trauma-informed practice is essential in family lawWhy This Episode MattersWhether someone is just contemplating separation or deep into negotiations, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate look at what the process actually feels like — beyond forms and courtrooms. The blend of legal insight and emotional awareness helps listeners feel equipped, not overwhelmed, by the road ahead.And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 5 of Dear Divorce Diaries, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins tackle one of the most important decisions people make during separation: how to choose the right family lawyer.The episode opens with the hosts explaining the podcast rules: they can’t provide direct legal advice, but they can discuss themes based on listener questions. The conversation is driven by questions submitted via TikTok and Instagram, focusing on the core issue of selecting a lawyer who will genuinely support you through the family law process.Joplin explains that the relationship between client and lawyer is crucial. Separation is emotionally draining and often financially stressful, so you need a lawyer who is not only skilled but also someone you can work with for potentially two years or more. The hosts emphasise the importance of chemistry and trust, and encourage listeners to trust their instincts if a lawyer doesn’t feel like the right fit.They discuss how to assess a lawyer’s suitability, including:Specialist expertise (trusts, businesses, domestic violence, trauma-informed practice)Experience and practical knowledge (not just “talking the talk”)The lawyer’s ability to manage complex emotional and mental health issuesFirm structure and how cases are handled day-to-dayWho will actually work on the file (junior lawyers, paralegals, support staff)Daz highlights the importance of understanding who is handling the case when the principal lawyer is in court. He warns that many clients feel let down when they are left dealing with a junior solicitor they barely know, and stresses the need for transparency from the outset.The hosts also discuss the practical side of legal fees, explaining:Cost agreements and what they coverTrust accounts and payment structuresFixed fees vs hourly ratesThe importance of understanding what is included in any fixed fee packageThe contractual nature of cost agreements and what happens if the case becomes more complexThe episode concludes with a reminder that choosing a lawyer is one of the most significant decisions in the family law process. The hosts encourage listeners to ask questions, seek clarity, and always trust their instincts.Key Topics Covered:Why choosing a lawyer is the most important decision in family lawImportance of personality fit and trustLong-term nature of family law cases (often 2+ years)Need for specialist expertise (domestic violence, trusts, business)Trauma-informed practice and social science knowledgeFirm structure and who handles your caseImportance of knowing support staff (secretary, accounts, juniors)Costs and cost agreements explainedFixed fee vs hourly rateHow to avoid being trapped in the wrong legal relationshipWhy This Episode MattersWhether someone is just contemplating separation or deep into negotiations, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate look at what the process actually feels like — beyond forms and courtrooms. The blend of legal insight and emotional awareness helps listeners feel equipped, not overwhelmed, by the road ahead.And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 4 of Dear Divorce Diaries, Joplin Higgins and Darren “Daz” Mort return to answer listener questions and discuss some of the most emotionally charged issues in family law — especially change of residence and how the court evaluates parenting capacity.Daz & Jop begin by reminding listeners of the podcast’s ground rules: they will discuss themes, not give direct legal advice, and they won’t discuss specific people or cases. Most listeners are navigating family law for the first time, so the hosts aim to provide clarity and support in a confusing process.The conversation then moves to the complex topic of change of residence, which used to be called custody. Daz explains that these cases are among the hardest to win because they involve destabilising a child’s primary care arrangement. The court prioritises risk and safety, and the child’s views are considered but weighed based on age and developmental maturity.Daz and Jop also discuss how the court assesses parental attitude — especially where one parent refuses to facilitate a relationship between the child and the other parent. They share a real courtroom example showing how disrespect and denigration can dramatically harm a parent’s case. The hosts emphasise that the court is focused on maintaining stability and safety, not punishing parents.The episode then explores the role of step-parents, challenging the common stereotype that they are “bad” or unwanted. The hosts share examples of healthy step-parent relationships and how cooperative co-parenting can benefit children. They also discuss the risks of a new partner who may be unsafe, and how this can impact a change of residence case.Finally, the episode covers capacity to parent and the role of family reports, including child impact reports, psychological assessments, and children’s views reports. While these reports can be helpful, the hosts remind listeners that they are just one piece of evidence and are not always conclusive.The episode ends with a reminder that family law is a complex system, and that understanding the themes and processes can help parents make better decisions for their children.Key Topics Covered:Rules for listener questions (no legal advice, no names, no case details)Change of residence explained (formerly custody)Court’s focus: risk, safety, and child’s viewsHow parental attitude affects outcomesThe impact of coercive behaviour and denigrationThe role of step-parents in modern familiesRisk of unsafe new partnersCapacity to parent and how courts assess itFamily reports, psychiatric reports, and children’s views reportsThe cost and limitations of expert reportsAnd because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 3 of Dear Divorce Diaries, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins explore the emotional realities behind family law — and why separation feels like uncharted territory for most people. They explain that many separated parents unintentionally make mistakes because they simply don’t know what to do — and then they’re judged for it in court.This episode goes beyond legal process and dives into the human story behind family breakdowns, revealing how family lawyers often become lifelong supports for clients and children. Darren shares his personal journey — from growing up through family breakdown and financial hardship, to creating powerful films like Tommy, Millie, and the upcoming Jack & Jill. These films were born from real experiences, including Darren’s work on the Family Violence Task Force and his own childhood trauma.Daz & Jop discuss how family law isn’t just a case, it’s a lifelong impact on children — and why having resources like films and books can help parents understand their child’s emotional world. Darren explains the inspiration behind his films, how they’re used in courts and parenting programs globally, and how they help families navigate the separation process in a child-focused way.They also highlight the importance of support, empathy, and education, and why separation is not something most people are prepared for — yet it changes lives forever.Key Topics Covered:Why separation feels like “uncharted territory”The emotional trauma behind family lawHow lawyers build long-term relationships with clientsDarren’s personal story of family breakdownThe creation of the films Tommy, Millie, and Jack & JillThe impact of family conflict on childrenHow children interpret separation and blame themselvesHow educational tools help parents understand their child’s worldThe importance of empathy, support and communityWhy This Episode MattersWhether someone is just contemplating separation or deep into negotiations, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate look at what the process actually feels like — beyond forms and courtrooms. The blend of legal insight and emotional awareness helps listeners feel equipped, not overwhelmed, by the road ahead.And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 2 of Dear Divorce Diaries, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins discuss one of the most critical topics in family law: co-parenting after separation. With years of courtroom experience, they explain why only a small percentage of cases actually need to go to trial, and why many families would benefit from avoiding court entirely—both emotionally and financially.Daz and Jop focus on keeping the child at the centre of every decision, explaining that even if parents hate each other, they still share a lifelong responsibility to their children. They reference the “Tommy” film used in US family courts to illustrate the damage children experience when parents fight.Daz & Jop share practical tools for better co-parenting, including:Parenting courses (such as Tuning into Kids/Teenagers)Psychological support and mindfulnessRegular “iron-out” sessions to revisit parenting plansMediation and why two-day mediations are often more effectiveCo-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard and AppCloseThey also highlight common pitfalls that cause conflict, including:Social media denigrationInvolving new partners in the conflictUsing children as weapons during changeoversDisputes about child support and spendingRigid parenting schedules that ignore child developmentThe episode concludes with a reminder that children are impacted by conflict long into adulthood, and that co-parenting is about behaviour—not feelings. Even if parents can’t stand each other, they can still learn to behave respectfully for the sake of their kids.Key Topics CoveredWhy court is not always necessaryThe “child-focused lens” conceptParenting courses and toolsThe harm of public conflict on social mediaThe importance of communication boundariesWhy co-parenting requires workManaging changeovers calmlyThe benefits of mediationUsing parenting apps to reduce conflictWhy schedules must adapt as children growThe long-term impact of conflict on kidsWhen a relationship ends, it can feel like the world is breaking apart — legally, emotionally and practically. The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast exists to guide you through that difficult landscape with clarity, compassion and a child-focused mindset.Each episode, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins draw on their extensive experience within the family law system to unpack what separation and divorce really look like — not just on paper, but in real life.They believe that families deserve dignity, children deserve protection, and adults deserve guidance that is calm, respectful and grounded in expertise rather than conflict.And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 1: An Introduction – About Joplin Higgins & Darren MortIn this opening episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law barrister Darren “Daz” Mort and family lawyer Joplin “Jop” Higgins introduce themselves, the purpose of the podcast, and the values that sit at the heart of their work. Drawing on decades spent “at the coalface” of the family law system, they explain why separation and divorce don’t have to be driven by conflict, fear or financial ruin.Daz and Jop speak candidly about the realities of family breakdown — the emotional toll, the cost, and the long-term impact on children — and why a child-focused mindset is critical, even when parents are hurting. They unpack the idea that while relationships may end, parenting never does, and explore how high conflict between adults can leave lasting scars on children well into adulthood.The episode places a strong emphasis on co-parenting: what it really means, why it’s hard, and how it can be done better. Through real courtroom insights and lived examples, they discuss avoiding unnecessary court battles, managing communication, revisiting parenting plans as children grow, and using practical tools like mediation, parenting courses and co-parenting apps to reduce conflict.Daz and Jop also tackle common flashpoints such as social media oversharing, chaotic changeovers, denigration of the other parent, third-party interference, and misunderstandings around child support — all with a mix of honesty, warmth and straight-talk.Ultimately, this episode sets the tone for the series: calm, practical guidance grounded in expertise, aimed at helping families navigate separation with dignity, protect children from conflict, and make decisions they can live with long after the legal process ends.When a relationship ends, it can feel like the world is breaking apart — legally, emotionally and practically. The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast exists to guide you through that difficult landscape with clarity, compassion and a child-focused mindset.Each episode, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins draw on their extensive experience within the family law system to unpack what separation and divorce really look like — not just on paper, but in real life.They believe that families deserve dignity, children deserve protection, and adults deserve guidance that is calm, respectful and grounded in expertise rather than conflict.Together, they explore the issues so many couples face when separating, including:How to divorce with dignityUnderstanding the family court processWhat to expect in mediationHow to co-parent respectfully and consistentlyFinancial and property settlement — explained in plain EnglishParenting arrangements after divorceHow to avoid court and resolve disputes constructivelyPractical tips for separating parentsChild-focused decision making and emotional awarenessWhen to involve a lawyer or barristerBetter communication during conflict and separationAnd because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When a relationship ends, it can feel like the world is breaking apart — legally, emotionally and practically. The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast exists to guide you through that difficult landscape with clarity, compassion and a child-focused mindset.Each episode, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins draw on their extensive experience within the family law system to unpack what separation and divorce really look like — not just on paper, but in real life.They believe that families deserve dignity, children deserve protection, and adults deserve guidance that is calm, respectful and grounded in expertise rather than conflict.Together, they explore the issues so many couples face when separating, including:How to divorce with dignityUnderstanding the family court processWhat to expect in mediationHow to co-parent respectfully and consistentlyFinancial and property settlement — explained in plain EnglishParenting arrangements after divorceHow to avoid court and resolve disputes constructivelyPractical tips for separating parentsChild-focused decision making and emotional awarenessWhen to involve a lawyer or barristerBetter communication during conflict and separationAnd because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.