PODCAST · health
Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.
by Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert
Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use, unintentional pressure, lack of emotional awareness, and many others.I’m Janna Denton-Howes, a Relationship Coach and Sex Educator who has specialized in this one area for the last 7 years, helping thousands of couples create a sex life that both partners can look forward to and genuinely enjoy. I’ve developed Doing It Together (formally known as “Wanting It More”), a unique program offering both men and women the tools, skills, and support to do the work required for a healthy and susta
-
187
What Happened When She Stopped Believing She Was the Problem - with Penny | Ep. 201
When Penny began questioning the messages she'd received about sex, she uncovered something far deeper than a lack of desire. For years, she'd been taught that sex was something she owed her husband rather than an experience she was allowed to enjoy herself. Penny shares how those beliefs shaped her marriage, her sexuality, and her sense of self—and what finally helped her begin experiencing intimacy in a completely different way.Together, Janna and Penny explore the cultural and religious messages that disconnect women from pleasure, why "more foreplay" wasn't the solution, the hidden pressure Penny didn't realize she was carrying, and how emotional safety became the turning point in her relationship. If you've ever wondered whether you're the problem—or struggled to understand why sex feels more like a responsibility than a source of joy—this episode is for you.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
186
200 Episodes Later: Janna Gets Honest About the Last Four Years- with Janna's Daughter | Ep. 200
For the 200th episode of the Doing It Together podcast, the tables are turned as Janna sits in the guest seat while her daughter interviews her about the journey behind the microphone. Together, they look back on four years of honest conversations about sex, desire, marriage, and relationships, exploring how the podcast has evolved, the lessons learned along the way, and the moments that have challenged Janna the most.Janna also shares the personal experiences that have shaped her work- from navigating divorce and remarriage to finding the courage to speak openly about one of culture's most taboo topics. It's a heartfelt, behind-the-scenes conversation about vulnerability, consistency, changing minds, and the hope that comes from helping thousands of people realize they are not broken and they are not alone.Whether you've been listening since episode one or you've just discovered the podcast, this milestone episode is a celebration of the community we've built together and a look at where the journey goes next.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
185
When Sex Becomes Emotional Currency – with Joanna | Ep. 199
Has sex become less about connection and more about keeping the peace? In this episode, Janna talks with Joanna about a pattern many couples quietly fall into, where sex becomes a way to restore harmony, avoid conflict, or make a partner happier rather than an experience rooted in mutual desire, pleasure, and connection.They unpack the emotional weight behind this dynamic and explore how it impacts both women’s sexuality and men’s relationship with intimacy. Joanna shares what she and her partner are doing differently now to move away from obligation and toward a more connected, playful, and fulfilling sex life.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
184
Why “Fixing” Your Partner Can Destroy Connection - with Derek | Ep. 198
What happens when loving someone means letting go of the need to fix them?Derek shares his journey of realizing that his attempts to rescue and support his wife were unintentionally creating distance between them. After years of trying to pull her out of pain and show her how wonderful life could be, he discovered that what she needed most wasn't someone to turn on the light—it was someone willing to sit with her in the darkness.Together, Janna and Derek explore the difference between compassion and rescuing, how shame and discomfort can impact intimacy, and why seeing your partner as "broken" can prevent true connection.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
183
Mutual Attunement for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 197
What if one of the keys to a more connected relationship isn't communicating better—but paying closer attention?In this episode, Janna and her husband pull back the curtain on a practice they've been intentionally developing in their marriage: attunement. Rather than waiting for your partner to tell you exactly what they need, attunement is the skill of noticing, anticipating, and staying emotionally connected to their inner world.Together, they explore why women are often socialized to be more attuned than men, how this dynamic can impact relationships, and the practical ways they're learning to think about and care for each other throughout the day. From feeling more seen and understood to creating deeper emotional and sexual connection, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on what it means to truly know and support your partner.Listen to Part 1 of this series here: https://jannadentonhowes.com/185-mutual-vulnerability-for-a-better-sex-life/Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
182
Two Sisters, Two Stories, One Impossible Standard - with Lauren & Christine | Ep. 196
When Lauren was invited to share her story on the podcast, she hesitated. Talking publicly about your sex life isn't easy—especially when your experience doesn't fit the cultural script of what a "healthy" woman is supposed to want. Then she surprised us with an unexpected suggestion: what if her sister joined the conversation?What followed was a candid, funny, and moving discussion between two sisters whose experiences with sex, desire, marriage, motherhood, and womanhood couldn't look more different on the surface. Together, they unpack the impossible expectations placed on women, the messages they inherited about sexuality, and the ways both high desire and low desire can leave women feeling like they're somehow falling short. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
181
Men, Marriage, and the Conversations We Were Never Taught to Have - with Brian | Ep. 195
In this surprisingly vulnerable conversation, Brian — a former fire chief turned maintenance mechanic — shares his story of growing up with almost no sex education beyond, “don’t get her pregnant,” and the quiet pressures men often carry alone. Together, we explore fear, conditioning, hard conversations, and what it looks like to begin questioning long-held patterns later in life.At 58, Brian opens up about choosing self-reflection over defensiveness and the profound shifts that became possible when he and his wife started talking more honestly about intimacy and safety. This episode is a reminder that meaningful change is possible when we’re willing to listen, learn, and do things differently.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
180
Real Couples, Real Stories, Real Change: Inside Doing It Together | Ep. 194
At the end of each eight-week round of Doing It Together, Janna hosts a farewell call where couples gather together and she asks one powerful question: What surprised you most about your Doing It Together journey?In this episode, you’ll hear honest reflections from real couples about their experiences — what they learned, what they had to unlearn, and how their relationships changed along the way. Their stories are a reminder that when people are willing to do the work and face difficult truths, profound shifts can happen, intimacy can deepen, and new ways of connecting become possible.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
179
What It Really Feels Like to Go Through Doing It Together- with Justin | Ep.192
On the podcast today, Justin (the male mentor for the men’s group) and I pull back the curtain to share as real and honestly as we can what it feels like to progress through the Doing It Together program.We talk about:What do the men’s calls actually feel like?What do women talk about in week one?What happens when someone’s partner isn’t taking things as seriously?What emotions come up through the processWhat surprises people once they get inside?And what realistic change can couples actually expect?Even if you aren’t considering joining us in June, this episode is a sweet one.The deadline to join Doing It Together is May 26th. Hope you get to experience this journey, it’s a good one.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
178
The Hidden Reason Sex Started Feeling Unsafe - with Erica | Ep. 192
What if the problem in your sex life isn’t low libido… but the pressure, expectations, and conditioning you’ve been carrying for years? In this conversation, Erica shares how she spent years believing she was broken, trying everything from therapy to self-help advice to “fix” her lack of desire — only to discover that the real issue had far more to do with safety, pressure, and the scripts women are taught about sex and relationships.Together, Erica and Janna unpack the messages many women grow up with around sex, marriage, motherhood, and obligation, and explore what begins to shift when couples stop focusing on performance and start building experiences rooted in curiosity, comfort, and connection. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
177
Why “Meeting His Needs” Is Killing Your Desire - with Dr. Lori Brotto | Ep. 191
Why do so many women feel disconnected from sex—even in loving relationships? In this episode, we unpack the two core motivations behind intimacy: avoidance and approach. When sex is driven by pressure, obligation, or fear—like avoiding conflict, guilt, or rejection—it’s no surprise that desire fades. Yet, this pattern is so normalized that many women end up believing something is wrong with them, rather than questioning the system itself.Joined by renowned researcher Dr. Lori Brotto, this conversation explores what actually makes sex feel good—and worth wanting. From understanding why low desire is so common to redefining pleasure as the goal (not performance or frequency), this episode challenges everything you’ve been taught about intimacy. If you’ve ever felt like sex is something you “should” want but don’t, this will offer clarity, validation, and a new way forward.Find all info about Dr. Lori Brotto here: https://www.loribrotto.com/Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
176
Why Your Partner Isn’t Hearing You (Yet) - with Anthony | Ep. 190
Anthony shares his journey from defensiveness and disconnection to truly hearing his partner for the first time. Like many couples, they found themselves stuck in a cycle of repeating the same conversations, hoping something would finally click… but real change didn’t begin until willingness entered the picture.Anthony opens up about the moment he recognized how deeply his upbringing had shaped his expectations around intimacy—and the courage it took to face that truth. His story is a reminder that while change is simple in theory, it requires a willingness to listen, grow, and see things differently. If you’ve ever felt like your partner just isn’t getting it, this episode offers a hopeful glimpse into what’s possible when they finally do.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
175
Why Intercourse Doesn’t Feel Good for Many Women - with Anne | Ep.189
Why are we still defining sex in a way that doesn’t feel good for many women?In this eye-opening episode, my guest Anne and I challenge one of the most normalized (and harmful) beliefs about intimacy: that intercourse is the main event. Through Anne’s story, you’ll hear how cultural messaging, lack of real education, and silent expectations led to pain, confusion—and feeling broken.But this conversation doesn’t stop there. Anne shares how she began to question everything, find her voice, and create a more honest, pleasurable, and connected relationship with her partner.If you’ve ever wondered why sex doesn’t feel the way it “should,” this episode might change the way you see everything.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
174
6 Stories That Show You’re Not Alone in Your Sex Life Struggles | Ep. 188
I’ve been scratching my head for years trying to figure out how to help couples talk to each other about sex and share the helpful information on the podcast.I knew that a simple, non-threatening video was necessary for both men and women to be able to send to their partners to explain the basic concepts. I also knew that I needed to make the podcast accessible for newbies with an easy “start here” place to go (with 188 episodes, it just doesn’t work to begin with episode 1, although many try…).And, lastly, I knew that both men and women needed guidance on how to start the conversation with their partners in a way that felt safe and doable. And I’m SO FREAKIN’ HAPPY to announce that I have accomplished all of this and am ready to share it with you. Today’s episode on the podcast is part of the men’s side of this "beginner's guide” but I’m sure everyone will enjoy it. I’ve edited 6 stories together- 3 from men and 3 from women, to highlight the commonalities of the sex struggle so many heterosexual couples face.It’s an episode that I hope makes you see the bigger picture of what we are all facing from culture with individual differences sprinkled in.If you want the full beginner’s guide, starting with the intro videos, here are the links:Women’s VideoMen’s Video(If you are looking for the conversation guides, sign-up for the videos and you’ll find them on the next page.)Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
173
Breaking the "Duty Sex" Cycle in Marriage - with Jo | Ep. 187
Jo shares her journey from confusion and pressure around sex to rediscovering connection, safety, and genuine pleasure with her husband.She opens up about:How cultural messaging shaped her relationship with sexThe hidden impact of “obligation” and silent pressure in long-term relationshipsThe turning point that helped her and her partner finally understand each otherWhy emotional safety—not technique—is the foundation of real intimacyIf you’ve ever felt disconnected, confused, or pressured in your intimate life, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, hopeful, and inspired.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
172
When You Feel You're the 'Broken One' in Your Relationship - with Liz | Ep. 186
Do you ever feel like you are the one with all the "baggage" in your relationship?This is exactly how Liz felt for years. In every category she looked- religious, cultural upbringing, and past life choices, she felt inferior to her spouse. To make up for the gap, she tried to be the “perfect” wife by providing her husband sex and keeping her body up even through four pregnancies. No surprise, it didn’t work out great.Join us as we talk through:The two major turning points in her marriage and how they helped transform her relationship. Her reckoning with the cultural and religious teachings she was raised on.What she’s experimenting with now to reclaim her joy and autonomy.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
171
Mutual Vulnerability for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 185
When a couple can meet each other with non-judgmental empathy, it draws you closer to each other. Nobody is shamed, questioned or put down and it leads to a deeper intimacy.This is the power of mutual vulnerability and it’s one of the bedrocks of a healthy marriage (and sex life).But most people don’t do a very good job at it! (which makes sense- who taught us how???)In today’s podcast episode, my husband and I explored this topic, sharing what we were taught about vulnerability, offering a role-play of what to do (and not to do), and practical tips on responding to vulnerability effectively.If you thought new sex positions were the key to hot sex, think again! Mutual vulnerability leads to safety and you can’t get sexier than safety!I hope you enjoy this feel-good episode 🙂Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
170
Improving Gender Equality at Home - with author Kate Mangino | Ep. 184
In my work, I highlight the terrible things that gender inequality does to a couple’s sexual relationship but it extends far beyond the bedroom impacting connection, financial health, individual happiness, physical health, and, ultimately, relationship satisfaction.Which is why as soon as I finished the book, “Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home” by Kate Mangino, I knew I needed her to come on the podcast.Thankfully, she agreed 🙂In this episode of the podcast, we talk about:The consequences of not working towards equality in the home as well as the benefitsCommon excuses for not working towards equalityHow men can grow into equal partners Lessons from 40 men who are working towards equality in their marriagesAdvice for women trying to move towards gender equalityYou can find out more about Kate and her work here: https://www.katemangino.com/Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
169
We Burned Our Sex Life Down & Built Something Better - with DeeDee | Ep. 183
After decades of quiet frustration in their sex life, DeeDee and her husband made a bold decision: they would burn their “traditional” sex life to the ground and rebuild something that actually worked for them.For most of her life, DeeDee struggled with low libido. It affected her relationships, her self-esteem, and especially her marriage. She tried everything—books, advice, and years of therapy—but nothing truly changed. She felt broken, unheard, and alone.Now in her 50s, DeeDee shares what finally made the difference. She describes discovering Doing It Together as a miracle. For the first time, she felt truly seen and heard. After years of hiding her truth, she found the courage to say the hard things out loud—and received the support she needed.With that support, she and her husband reimagined intimacy on their own terms. They let go of pain, pressure, and obligation. In their place, they built something new: a sex life rooted in honesty, comfort, and connection.And for the first time, it feels right.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
168
Anxiety & Sex: What Men and Women Feel | Ep. 182
This episode provides an update on what Janna and her husband are working on in their sex life. Both talk about how anxiety affects their sexual experience in different ways. Janna shares her anxieties about:trying to have an orgasm and it not progressinggetting in her head about what “should” happen nextbeing worried about his experience and if he's "getting bored”Dwayne shares his anxieties about:being a “perfect” partner and feeling inadequatetrying to communicate to connect the progression of moving from something that feels good into “What to do next?”This episode will remind you that you aren't alone in your sexual struggles and that all couples are a work in progress in the bedroom. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
167
Navigating Sex Addiction as a Black Man - with Dr. Kervins Clement | Ep. 181
My podcast guest is Dr. Kervins Clement and his story is one that I hear about all the time- where a dependency on porn use and masturbation is justified as helping the relationship when, in fact, it often does the opposite. In this episode we explore:How Kervins’ own recovery shaped the way he now works with men and couples.What his research revealed about the role of culture and history in treating Black men with sex addiction.Why guilt and remorse don’t reliably stop lying and secrecy in addiction.What partners actually need after betrayal and where their focus often goes too soon.This is a thoughtful, nuanced conversation that isn’t just about sex addiction- it’s about honesty, courage and what healing truly requires.You can find Dr. Kervins Clement on:YouTube @DrKervinsClementInstagram @drkervinsclementLooking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
166
RE-AIR: Details of a Sex Life Two Years Post Doing It Together - with Justin & Sandra | Ep. 180
We're re-releasing one of our most listened to episodes! If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, you'll want to listen to Justin and Sandra's story.Married for 19 years, they took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain curious, and change things up through life’s ups and downs.They also share how their marriage has changed outside the bedroom and the routines they’ve incorporated to keep their connection at the forefront of their marriage. You can listen to Justin and Sandra's personal stories by listening to these previous episodes:Justin's Story in Episode 82Sandra's Story in Episode 74The Michelle Mays episode on Betrayal Trauma can be found here: Episode 108Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
165
Why Trying Harder Is Making Your Sex Life Worse | Ep. 179
There is no shortcut to heal from a toxic world that has tricked us into thinking sex is just a series of acts designed to physically stimulate us. The only way through is to slow down, unlearn and heal- not just for your marriage but for your well-being. It’s understanding safety, not just physically, but emotionally.It’s questioning the model of sex you were handed, instead of trying to perform it better.It’s rebuilding trust with your own body.And, when you’re doing this together, it’s learning how to create a sexual environment that doesn’t require forcing, convincing, or enduring.This is exactly what I talk about in the podcast episode today- why trying harder is often the very thing that makes sex feel worse, not better.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
164
For Men: How to Reduce Pressure for Better Sex - with Justin | Ep. 178
Justin joins me for a foundational episode in which we zoom out and discuss the role that men play when their wives have “low libido”. He starts off by sharing how he felt when his wife stopped wanting to have sex with him- the feelings of confusion and worrying if he had done something wrong.Then we take a journey through the unique ways men can contribute to a great sex life, how to create a comfortable, pressure-free environment and the work they can do outside of the bedroom.I’m so grateful to work alongside Justin in supporting men and if you’d like to hear more of his story, you can listen to Episode 82 as well as Episode 148 with his wife, Sandra.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
163
Low Libido & Bad Sex- What Women Don't Say | Ep. 177
Many women I talk to struggle enjoying physical touch during sex. They don’t know their experience can be any other way so they continue trying to enjoy things they don’t like and then label themselves as “non-sexual”. In our conversation, my husband and I discuss:• why so many women push themselves to initiate or say yes even when their body is clearly uncomfortable • why discomfort is so often normalized through culture, media, and silence • the real fears women carry about speaking up and the consequences they’re trying to avoid • why this can feel shocking or confusing for men when the truth finally comes outIf having a closer, more connected and joyful sex life is something you want in your relationship, this episode is an important one to listen to.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
162
The Power of a Sex Reset | Ep. 176
In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most important elements of moving towards freedom in your relationship and that is…a reset from sex.It’s something that you may have heard many times on the podcast in interviews with alumni of Doing It Together but it’s the first time I’ve addressed it directly.If you are tired of the mental energy sex is taking up in your life right now, I highly encourage you to listen to this conversation.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
161
When Your Husband Wants Sex and You Feel Anxious | Ep. 175
Today on the podcast I recorded a short and sweet solo episode for you but really it’s a love-letter to my former self. Anxiety (just a different term for “fear”) is telling you something and if you are feeling it around sex, there is something to learn. And I promise you, it’s not that you are broken and that nothing will ever work. I used to believe that too but that thought will only keep you stuck.Listen and trust yourself and please, please, please get some support for this. It’s not going to change on it’s own.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
160
The Expectations for Sex on Special Occasions | Ep. 174
Since we’re headed into a time of the year where there may be some extra space as a couple, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about expectations around sex and special occasions. I know this happens more often with birthdays and vacations but it’s possible that in the lull between Christmas and New Years some pressure could creep in.In this short episode, we discuss why this happens, the harm it can cause and what to do instead. Plus we talk about what gifts husbands should never get their wives 🙂.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
159
Why Sex Often Doesn't Feel Good For Women | Ep. 173
The idea that men are so simple to please and women are a difficult maze of sensitive knobs and dials, often leaves female pleasure forgotten about.But what if something else was happening? What if our culture has only taught men and women about men’s bodies and pleasure? What if women’s genitals and orgasms felt impossibly difficult because we are all trying to approach them like men’s? This is what we discussed on the podcast this week- sharing openly our current challenges with my partner learning my body as well as the common feeling amongst women that we don’t work properly or that we’re broken.And to make it practical, we also included some basic concepts to understand when approaching the clitoris.We didn’t hold anything back in this 30 minute episode and I hope you can find a quiet, private moment to join the conversation.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
158
When Talking About Sex is Difficult as a Couple | Ep. 172
Janna and her husband discuss the ins and outs of talking about sex as a couple- why so many people struggle with it, their personal challenges with communication, and what they're currently experimenting with to try to improve.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
157
Teaching Teens Consent - with Janna's daughter | Ep. 171
It’s been a dream of mine to be able to chat with my daughter on the podcast and get her take on some of the concepts we discuss here.In this episode, we touch on what she is learning in her class about consent and rape culture, her take on what’s happening in teen relationships, and a bit of advice for parents thinking about teaching consent to their own kids.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
156
Does Husband Hygiene Impact a Wife's Libido? | Ep. 170
Over the last 8 years Janna has specialized in helping women with low libido, she frequently hears them share about how difficult it is to talk with their husbands about personal hygiene.“My husband always has bad breath.”“I wish he would shave before coming to bed.”“Is it too much to ask to wear clean boxers?”In this episode, Janna and her husband, Dwayne, discuss the trends she's been seeing, the cultural messages that impact this topic, his experience as a pre-teen learning about personal care, his current routine, and advice for talking to your husband about this.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
155
How to Stop Feeling Emotionally Disconnected During Sex | Ep. 169
If you’ve ever felt emotionally disconnected during sex, you’re not alone. Janna and her husband Dwayne talk through the common reasons this can happen (for both men and women), how to recognize when you’re feeling out of sync, how to share that with your partner, and the steps you can take to make those moments feel more connected more often.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
154
I'm Re-Married! My Personal Update | Ep. 168
Janna shares a major life update with her listeners and introduces a very special guest.In early October, she married her new partner, Dwayne. Together, Janna and Dwayne openly and courageously reflect on the past few years — including Janna’s divorce, how they met, and what sparked their connection.They also give listeners a candid look into their intimate life and explain how the principles of Doing It Together have shaped their relationship from the very beginning.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
153
How Following the “Good Wife” Formula Led to a Nervous Breakdown - with Lisa (Part 2) | Ep. 167
Part 2 of Lisa’s story is a must-listen episode. She opens up about how decades of prioritizing her husband’s sexual needs while ignoring her own led to a nervous breakdown that affected her both physically and emotionally.Lisa believed she was doing the right thing—following the “marriage formula” and giving him what he needed to keep the peace and manage his moods. But deep down, her body was begging for change. She just didn’t have the language or tools to understand what was wrong. In this episode, Lisa shares how discovering Janna’s podcast and program transformed their marriage—and how she realized her so-called “low libido” was never the real problem.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
152
How a Lack of Guidance Creates Fear and Confusion Around Sex - with Lisa (Part 1) | Ep. 166
In Part 1 of Lisa’s story, she looks back on her youth and the awkward search for answers about sex and sexuality as a now 59-year-old woman. Her parents spoke in vague, confusing terms and never provided real context, which she found bizarre. The explanations she did receive made her body’s natural changes sound painful and frightening. While there was plenty of playground gossip, there was no real guidance from anyone who actually knew what they were talking about. Magazines like Cosmopolitan painted sex as a kind of theatrical performance, leaving Lisa with a jumble of misinformation that led to years of confusion, fear, and dishonesty.Tune in next week to hear Part 2 and how Lisa finally found truthful guidance to erase this old and tired narrative. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
151
What If I'm Not Attracted To My Husband? Plus More FAQ's | Ep. 165
Janna answers recent questions she's received about her program for couples, Doing It Together.Questions include:What if I don’t feel physically attracted to my husband?What is your opinion on sleep deprivation and sex drive?How do you rekindle connection if you didn't start with a lot of chemistry in the first place?What happens if my husband has decided he likes something during sex that I DONT?How do I encourage my husband to want help as well? Most of this is blamed on me.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
150
Couples Share Their Unexpected Doing It Together Wins | Ep. 164
As the last round of Doing It Together came to a close, Janna and her team hosted one final Zoom call with all the couples. It wasn’t just a goodbye; it was a celebration of the journey they had taken together. At one point, Janna posed a simple but powerful question: “What’s been the most surprising thing you’ve discovered through this experience?”The answers that followed were nothing short of inspiring. In just eight weeks, these couples had already begun reshaping the way they connected, rebuilt trust, and opened doors to deeper intimacy. It wasn’t always easy—real change rarely is—but seeing their breakthroughs unfold reminded everyone of the heart behind Doing It Together: helping couples create an intimate life that feels safe, meaningful, and satisfying for both partners.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
149
How to Decide if Doing It Together is the Right Next Step | Ep. 163
The doors to Doing It Together are open for the Oct/Nov round! In this episode, Janna goes over the program details, what couples can expect to learn, and how you can decide if Doing It Together is the right fit for your marriage.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
148
IVF, Intimacy, and the Breaking Point That Changed Everything - with Reese | Ep. 162
In Part 2 of Reese’s episode, he opens up about the emotional rollercoaster of trying for children, including multiple rounds of IVF and the strain it placed on intimacy in his marriage. Disconnected from his feelings, he carried a lot of anger and tension, making everything feel heavy and difficult.After reaching a breaking point, Reese stumbled across Janna’s podcast during a late-night search. For the first time, he heard other men share their struggles with intimacy in marriage, and their stories resonated deeply. He recognized how his screen addiction was impacting his relationship and explains how he’s now working to rebuild a healthier space for his wife, his family, and himself to thrive.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
147
Secrets, Screens, and the Struggle for Real Connection - with Reese | Ep. 161
Reese learned at a young age that secrets stay safe behind locked doors. When he discovered adult images online, what started as curiosity quickly turned into a regular habit—and soon, a strong screen addiction took hold.Over time, the influence of these images began shaping how he viewed relationships with women. He became fixated on unrealistic performance expectations, while true emotional connection slipped further and further out of reach.Caught in a cycle of shame and pressure, Reese had no idea what was driving his struggles—until he came across Janna’s work.Listen to Part 1 of Reese’s story now, and stay tuned for Part 2 next week.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
146
The Wake-Up Call That Changed His Marriage - with David (Part 2) | Ep. 160
In Part 2 of David’s story, he opens up about the early days of his marriage and the life event that triggered a sharp decline in their sex life. He remembers feeling lonely but not fully understanding why. Although he and his wife had many conversations about what she was experiencing, her perspective never quite clicked for him.That changed when she began listening to Janna’s podcast and finally found the words to explain what she was feeling. Once David started listening to other people’s stories, the pieces began to fall into place. He realized he had carried negative patterns into their marriage—patterns that blocked true intimacy and emotional safety. In this episode, David reflects on what he learned, not only as a therapist but also as a husband.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
145
How a Psychotherapist Came to Understand His Own Intimacy Struggles - with David | Ep. 159
David, a Mexican American, grew up navigating the influence of two cultures—his Hispanic, Catholic upbringing and the American, white culture around him. He describes his Hispanic roots as warm, physical, and affectionate, yet completely silent when it came to conversations about sex. While his parents assured him he could talk to them about anything, the unspoken rule was clear: sex was a taboo topic.At just eight years old, David discovered his father’s hidden pornography stash. That early exposure deeply shaped his perceptions of women and his ideas about what relationships should look like. Years later, when he met his wife in college, the hidden pressures and distorted beliefs he carried began to strain their intimacy. It wasn’t until he joined Janna’s program that David finally began to recognize—and untangle—the negative effects of those early experiences.Tune in next week to hear Part 2 of David's story. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
144
Why Safety Matters More Than Libido - with Natalie | E. 158
When Natalie met her husband, they clicked instantly. After marriage, their sex life was good at first, but over time her desire began to fade. Things worsened after having kids—she describes her husband’s advances as “feeling like another need to fill.” He urged her to “fix” her low libido, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t her hormones that needed repairing. Something felt off, though she couldn’t quite pinpoint it—she just knew his advances left her feeling gross and cringy.Around this time, Natalie discovered Janna’s podcast and immediately recognized what had been missing in her relationship: safety. Through the Doing It Together program, she felt validated and reassured that her instincts had been right all along. As her trust in her intuition grew, she and her husband uncovered behaviours that had been off-base. Now, they’re working together to create a safer, healthier space for both of them.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
143
The Real Reason Sex Started to Feel Off - with John (Part 2) | Ep. 157
In Part 2 of John’s story, he shares how he met his wife online and how quickly their relationship progressed. They moved in together almost immediately, and he describes their sex life early on as “frequent, enjoyable, and exciting.” But over time, the honeymoon phase faded. Their sexual connection began to feel like something they should do, rather than something they wanted to do.Even though they shared a deep emotional bond, John started questioning whether he was in the right relationship. He made efforts to reignite the spark—planning date nights, giving massages, even trying to schedule intimacy—but the distance between them only grew as he gradually pulled away.Sensing the shift, his wife suggested they listen to some of Janna’s podcasts together. That led them to join Doing It Together, and for John, it was eye-opening. He began to recognize how deeply cultural conditioning had shaped both of their experiences. He now understands that “fixing” their sex life isn’t just about physical connection—it’s about healing and growing together on multiple levels.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
142
Exploring the Backlash of Performance Anxiety - with John | Ep. 156
As a teenager, John felt uneasy about the new sensations of arousal in his changing body. He wasn’t sure how to handle them, which led to persistent discomfort, performance anxiety, and awkward early attempts at intimacy with girls.During his university years, John moved past some of his self-doubt—but his behavior in relationships took a troubling turn. He describes feeling like he was “trying to make up for lost time,” and admits he didn’t treat his girlfriends with the respect they deserved. Even though it felt awful, he found himself cheating and sabotaging his relationships.In this episode, Janna and John unpack those complicated feelings and explore what was really driving his actions.Tune in next week for Part 2 of John’s story.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
141
Healing The Secret Strain in a Picture-Perfect Marriage - with Andrea (Part 2) | Ep. 155
When Andrea met her husband, they shared an instant connection. She describes their early intimacy as “fun, easy, and pressure-free.” But after they got married, things began to shift. Sex became complicated, and Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her. She found herself checking the calendar, counting the days, and feeling her anxiety grow.On the outside, their relationship looked perfect—but behind closed doors, the tension was building. They tried individual counseling, couples therapy, and Andrea read endlessly about low libido in women, searching for answers. But nothing changed… until she found Janna.For the first time, Andrea was introduced to a different perspective—one where intimacy could look and feel entirely new. Hear what she discovered, and why she calls Janna’s Doing It Together program truly life-changing.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
140
Empowered or Objectified? 90's Girl Power Through Teen Eyes - with Andrea | Ep. 154
Andrea, now 37, grew up in the 1990s, shaped by the influence of pop icons like Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. Back then, “girl power” looked like tube tops, perfect hair, and using every ounce of energy to grab—and most importantly, keep—the attention of boys.As a teenager, Andrea poured her focus into chasing male approval. But when the attention finally came, and kissing or more was expected to maintain it, the magic disappeared. The chase felt exhausting, and the physical side of things felt more like a performance than pleasure. Deep down, she wasn’t enjoying any of it. Confused and disappointed, Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her.Tune in next week for Part 2 of Andrea’s story—where things start to shift.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
139
A 20-Year Journey Through Painful Intimacy - with Shannon (Part 2) | Ep. 153
In Part 2 of her episode, Shannon opens up about the next chapter of her story. After meeting her husband, she eagerly took the lead in their relationship—from their first kiss to exploring intimacy together. Remaining a virgin until marriage was deeply important to her, so they waited until their wedding night to have intercourse.But the moment she had waited for her entire life turned out to be excruciatingly painful—and the pain didn’t go away. For two years, Shannon silently endured, until she was finally diagnosed with vulvodynia, a chronic condition causing pain around the vulva. What was supposed to be a joyful part of marriage became a painful obligation. She was overwhelmed with guilt and shame, feeling as though she had failed as a wife.Eventually, she found an incredible pelvic floor specialist who helped relieve much of the physical pain—but the emotional and sexual disconnection lingered. Despite her efforts, she still didn’t feel desire. Over the next 20 years, they struggled. A sex therapist left Shannon feeling blamed and broken. They even tried visiting sex clubs, hoping that new experiences might reignite her interest. Nothing worked, and Shannon sank into depression.Then she found Janna.For the first time, Shannon felt truly seen, heard, and understood. With Janna’s support, her relationship has completely transformed. Now, Shannon looks forward to the next 20 years with her husband—hopeful, empowered, and finally at peace.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
-
138
From Purity Promises to Parenting With Truth - with Shannon (Part 1) | Ep. 152
Shannon grew up in a conservative Christian household during the 1990s, at the height of the purity culture movement. At just 14 years old, she signed a contract pledging to remain a virgin until marriage.Now, Shannon shares what she was taught during that time, how she navigated the strict “rules” meant to preserve her so-called purity, and how those experiences have shaped the way she now talks to her 10-year-old daughter—especially in light of what she’s learned from Janna.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together. Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.
No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.
No topics indexed yet for this podcast.
Loading reviews...
ABOUT THIS SHOW
Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use, unintentional pressure, lack of emotional awareness, and many others.I’m Janna Denton-Howes, a Relationship Coach and Sex Educator who has specialized in this one area for the last 7 years, helping thousands of couples create a sex life that both partners can look forward to and genuinely enjoy. I’ve developed Doing It Together (formally known as “Wanting It More”), a unique program offering both men and women the tools, skills, and support to do the work required for a healthy and susta
HOSTED BY
Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert
Loading similar podcasts...