Don't Tell the Kids

Okay mama, pour the coffee (or the wine, no judgment here) because this one's a ride. We're getting into ALL of it this week — like the fact that we're suddenly the moms holding the menu at arm's length and using our phones as little telescopes because nobody wants to admit they need readers yet. We're talking about the time a certain THC kombucha at a Miami get-together sent us straight into a wormhole, the shirtless WhatsApp profile pic from the gym coach that had us spiraling for two days, and that thing we ALL do where we fake sick to get out of plans (please tell me it's not just us).We get into the real stuff too — the mental load that lives rent-free in our brains while our husbands are blissfully thinking about exactly nothing, the guilt and grace of single-mom seasons when there's no backup coming, and how to discipline kids when, let's be honest, we're not exactly the most disciplined humans ourselves. We talk about apologizing to our kids when we lose it, raising boys to actually be good men in a world that's a little confused about what that even means anymore, and why date night is non-negotiable.Plus there's a pile of clothes named Timmy, a prank text involving a fake detective, and the time one of our husbands told the kids mom used to have a girlfriend (she did not). It's messy, it's honest, it's everything we'd tell you over coffee if the kids weren't around. Hit play and hang out with us. xo

This conversation started light… and then got real.Because once you actually think about consent today — not just the idea of it, but what it looks like with phones, Snapchat, alcohol, all of it…It’s not simple.It’s layered, it’s messy, and honestly… it’s a little scary when you’re raising boys in it.We didn’t solve anything — but we talked about it.Don’t tell the kids.

Okay… this is your warning: do NOT play this one in the car with your kids 😂We went there. Like really went there. It started with a very innocent question—does your vagina get ruined after kids?—and somehow turned into a full-blown, no-filter conversation about sex after babies, peeing when you laugh, what no one tells you about birth, and the stuff we all secretly wonder but don’t say out loud.We also somehow ended up talking about surrogates, miscarriages, mom bodies, male escorts (yes, really), and the kind of things that will make you laugh, cringe, and feel very seen all at the same time.It’s honest, it’s unfiltered, and it’s basically the conversation you have with your closest friends… just maybe not out loud.You’re going to laugh, you might gasp, and you’ll definitely feel less alone in the things no one prepares you for.…just (PLEASE) don’t tell the kids.

This episode starts with our most embarrassing moments… and somehow spirals into everything we weren’t planning to say. It’s raw, it’s unfiltered, and yes — there are parts we maybe should’ve kept to ourselves. But that’s kind of the point. Real life, real stories, and the kind of honesty you usually save for your group chat. Press play, laugh with us (or at us), and feel a little less alone in the chaos. Don’t tell the kids.

This one is for the moms who are quietly wondering… am I making this too easy for them?We get into one of those moments that hits way deeper than it should—your kid says “you can’t make me”… and suddenly you’re spiraling into are we raising resilient humans or just really comfortable ones?We talk about sports, commitment, chores, divorce guilt, overcompensating, and that constant push-pull between wanting our kids to feel safe and loved… but also not raising them to quit the second something feels hard.There’s no expert advice here (obviously), just two moms trying to figure out how to raise good, capable, strong humans without screwing them up in the process.If you’ve ever questioned your parenting after one random Tuesday meltdown… this one will hit.And if you have the answers, please let us know… because we definitely don’t.Don’t tell the kids

This episode goes everywhere moms of older kids know life suddenly starts to go: awkward questions, changing bodies, inappropriate song lyrics, sex talks you were not emotionally prepared to have, and the slow realization that your sweet little boys are somehow becoming actual teenage boys. We’re talking about all of it — from parasite group chats and full moon theories to sextortion, porn, kissing, Santa, and those moments when your kids ask a question and you have approximately half a second to decide whether to be honest, vague, or pretend you didn’t hear them.This is one of those conversations that feels exactly like motherhood in real life: funny, unfiltered, slightly unhinged, and full of moments where you think, “Wait… are we really here already?” If you’ve ever found yourself trying to explain adult topics in kid language while also questioning every parenting decision you’ve ever made, this one will feel very familiar. And as always, don’t tell the kids.

Why are we here? Honestly… because motherhood can be lonely, life can be a lot, and sometimes you just need one place where you can say the quiet part out loud. In this episode, we’re sharing the real reason we wanted to start this podcast: to make space for honest conversations about friendship, parenting, marriage, divorce, work, identity, aging, and all the things women carry that rarely get talked about without judgment.We’re not here to pretend we have the answers, and we’re definitely not here to tell anyone how to do life. We’re just two moms showing up as we are — imperfect, vulnerable, funny, overwhelmed, and doing our best. So if you’ve ever felt like everyone else has it together and you’re just trying to keep up, this one’s for you. And as always… don’t tell the kids.

Friendships as an adult are… complicated. Not middle-school complicated. Not “she sat at another lunch table” complicated. More like real life, grown-up, navigating divorce, boundaries, busy kids, and limited social battery complicated.In this episode we start with a simple question that quickly turns into a full spiral: what happens when a couple you know gets divorced… and suddenly you’re hearing from both of them? Are you supposed to pick a side? Pretend you didn’t get the text? Offer your guest room? Or just suggest a casual lunch and hope no one feels weird about it?From there we wander (as usual) into the strange world of adult friendships — the ones you talk to every day, the ones you only text memes to once a year, the ones you slowly drift away from, and the rare, awkward reality of actually breaking up with a friend. Because sometimes protecting your energy becomes more important than keeping every relationship intact.And then… somehow… we end up talking about foot fetishes. Because apparently if you post one innocent photo with your foot in the frame, the internet has thoughts.So if you’ve ever wondered why friendships feel different in your 30s and 40s, questioned your boundaries, ghosted your phone for a week to regain your sanity, or been deeply confused by the corners of the internet you accidentally discovered… this one’s for you.Press play, come hang out with us for a bit, and as always… don’t tell the kids.

Somehow, your 40s got terrible PR.All anyone seems to talk about is perimenopause, hot flashes, hormones going wild, and moms complaining about their kids. Like the minute you hit 40, life just becomes one long hormonal spiral and a countdown to bedtime.But… is that actually true?In this episode, we’re talking about why life in your 40s can actually be better than life in your 20s in some really important ways. Yes, your hormones are shifting and life is definitely fuller and more complicated. But there’s also something that comes with this decade that most people don’t talk about: more confidence, clearer boundaries, deeper friendships, and a much stronger sense of who you actually are.We get into everything — nights out in your 20s versus nights now, dating then and now, motherhood, career pressure, mental health, relationships, and the surprising ways life can feel more grounded and fulfilling in your 40s.It’s funny, honest, a little nostalgic, and a reminder that maybe this season of life deserves a better reputation.Because your 20s might have had fewer responsibilities… but your 40s often come with something better: perspective, self-awareness, and a lot less pretending.Thanks for listening and remember, Don't tell the kids. 

This is the part where we introduce ourselves… which already feels a little uncomfortable.Don’t Tell the Kids is what happens when two moms sit down and say the things we’re probably not supposed to say out loud — about motherhood, marriage, friendships, identity, resentment, joy, ambition, and the weird in-between stage of life where you’re raising humans but still trying to figure yourself out.No experts. No advice. No pretending we have it all together.Just honest conversations, questionable stories, and the kinds of thoughts most of us usually keep in our heads (or text to one friend we trust not to judge us).If you’ve ever hidden in your car for five minutes of quiet, wondered if other moms feel the same way you do, or thought “am I allowed to say that?” — you’re in the right place.Welcome to Don’t Tell the Kids.New episodes start on Thursday. And just to be clear… they probably shouldn’t hear this.