eX-skeptic

What happens when suffering shapes your picture of God? For Paul Snyder, the God he rejected as a young boy seemed harsh, distant, and impossible to please. Growing up amid fear, family brokenness, rejection, and disappointment, he concluded that if God existed at all, He certainly wasn't good. By the age of twelve, Paul had reached a point of despair. Filled with anger and skepticism, he did something many people secretly feel but rarely admit. He challenged God directly.What happened next changed everything. Paul shares how an unexpected encounter with the love of Christ transformed his understanding of God and set him on a lifelong journey of faith and service.  🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Guest Bio: Paul Snyder is the president of Global Bridges, an international ministry serving persecuted believers, vulnerable children, and marginalized communities in some of the world's most restricted nations. Continuing a legacy of gospel ministry that spans generations, Paul is passionate about demonstrating the love of Christ through practical compassion and humanitarian aid. He is also the co-author of Love Shines, a book highlighting the importance of Scripture and the extraordinary story behind the ministry's work among persecuted Christians around the world. Once an atheist shaped by suffering and disappointment, Paul now dedicates his life to helping others encounter the hope and love he found in Jesus.  Resources Mentioned: eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Book: Love Shines: From Smuggling Bibles to Training a Million Disciples; https://globalbridgesrelief.org/loveshines/ Global Bridges – International ministry serving persecuted believers and vulnerable communities: https://globalbridgesrelief.org/ Open Doors (founded by Brother Andrew) Ethnos360 (formerly New Tribes Mission) YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Chapters   00:00 Paul’s “Liquid Love” Encounter 00:54 If God Is Good, Why Do We Suffer? 02:00 Serving the Persecuted with Global Bridges 04:48 A Family Legacy of Faith 09:25 From Smuggling Bibles to Smuggling Drugs 11:41 How His Father Shaped His View of God 15:33 “God Was Like Santa Claus” 16:49 Paul Reaches a Point of Despair 19:21 He Challenges God to Prove He’s Real 19:47 “Liquid Love” Poured Over Him 20:23 God Says, “I Love You” 21:36 Jesus Is More Than a Philosophy 23:01 Discovering God Through the Bible 26:05 Why Scripture Matters 27:18 If God Is Good, Why Is There Suffering? 30:18 Escaping Performance-Based Christianity 34:44 Is God Supposed to Stop All Suffering? 36:02 Do You Need a Dramatic Encounter with God? 39:01 Where Should a Skeptic Start? 41:00 How Christians Should Engage with Skeptics  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when your search for truth leads beyond philosophy and into the unexpected? Mark Schneider is a former skeptic whose life was marked by profound questions about meaning, purpose, and reality itself. Though raised in a nominal Catholic home, faith became irrelevant to Mark early in life. As a young man, he embraced a materialistic worldview and searched desperately for answers through philosophy, psychology, and human wisdom. But after years of wrestling with despair and searching for what he called "the one truth," Mark encountered something he never expected - not merely an idea or a system of thought, but the person of Jesus Christ. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH Guest Bio: Mark Schneider is a former Silicon Valley executive and patent litigator who explores the intersection of law, technology, and Christian thought. He is the author of Ransomed: One Man’s Journey out of Darkness into the Light of Truth. With degrees in electrical engineering from California Polytechnic University and law from Trinity Law School, he brings a sharp analytical lens to questions of truth and belief. Mark also founded a Salt & Light ministry at his church and continues to engage cultural and moral issues with clarity and conviction.  Resources Mentioned: eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Mark’s Resources: •        Mark R. Schneider, Esq. Website: https://markrschneider.com/ •        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@protectourkids2393 Book: Ransomed: One Man's Journey Out of Darkness into the Light of Truth — Mark Schneider Ministry Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] eX-skeptic Transcript Ep. 152 August 28, 2026 Mark Schneider Chapters 00:00:00—Intro 00:02:12 — Meet Mark 00:04:48 — From Nominal Faith to No Belief 00:08:12 — When Faith Seemed Unnecessary 00:10:09 — Uprooted and Angry 00:14:18 — The Sudden Descent into Darkness 00:17:04 — Searching for an Anchor 00:21:48 — When Philosophy Offered No Answers 00:26:59 — An Encounter with the Spiritual Unknown 00:28:56 — Returning to Fresno, Finding Temporary Relief 00:32:15 — When the Darkness Returned 00:36:47 — The Search for “The One Truth” 00:39:28 — A Failed Search for Peace 00:42:59 — “Smile, Jesus Loves You” 00:46:41 — Discovering That Truth Is a Person 00:52:34 — The Peace That Remained 00:53:41 — Grounding Faith in Objective Truth 00:55:15 — What Should a Seeker Do? 00:59:58 — Where to Start Reading the Bible 01:02:36 — Who Do You Say That I Am? 01:04:21 — Closing Intro MARK SCHNEIDER: I felt just incredible love and I didn't hear it with audible ears but with spiritual ears. I heard this voice said, “I am the truth that you've been searching for.”   Jesus, the source of all that ever existed, had suddenly entered into me and it was powerful I can't even describe it how powerful it was. JANA HARMON: Hello and welcome to eX-skeptic, where we explore unlikely stories of belief. We feature former atheists and skeptics who came to question their assumptions and consider the truth of Christianity. I'm your host, Janna Harmon, and I'm so glad you're here. Whether you're someone who's curious, questioning, or deeply exploring what you believe and why. Thank you for joining us. What if the truth you've been searching for can't be reduced to an argument, a philosophy, or a system of thought. What if truth is more than a principle to discover? What if truth is personal? My guest today is Mark Schneider, a former skeptic who spent years wrestling with darkness, meaning in the deep question of whether life had any objective grounding at all. He went searching for what he calls the one truth, something solid enough to explain reality and strong enough to hold the weight of his life. But what he found was much more unexpected than a new idea, a worldview. In this conversation, Marc shares how his search for truth led him beyond materialism, beyond abstract answers, and ultimately to the person of Jesus Christ. And if you're someone who has questions about God, meaning, or whether Christianity is actually true, you'll find curated playlists on our YouTube channels around big questions like, “Is there more to life than this?” And “Is it rational to believe in God?” And if you'd like to talk personally with a former guest about your own questions or doubts. Reach out to us at [email protected] Here's my conversation with Mark Schneider Meet Mark JANA HARMON: Welcome to eX-skeptic. Mark, it's great to have you with me today. MARK SCHNEIDER: Well, Jana, I'm so delighted to be here with you. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. JANA HARMON: Wonderful. I'd love the listeners to know a bit about your background, the things that you love to do, that you have your hands in a little bit about your work. Can you tell us about all of that? MARK SCHNEIDER: My professional background, I'm an engineer. Electrical engineer by  training. I started my career in Silicon Valley for a large technology company that I was with for quite some years. In the middle of my career, I decided to go to law school. And so after that, I joined the legal department of Hewlett-Packard company, who I was with for a long time. And after that, I went into private practice as a patent litigator for a number of years. But my real, um, passion is for, uh, ministry. And, um, there was a series of laws that had passed in California that were affecting children in our public school system. Um, it was really laws designed to indoctrinate them into a worldview that is completely foreign to the one most Americans grew up with and came to love. And as a result of that, um, me and some colleagues started a ministry called Protect Our Kids. And that was in April of 2019. So, protect our kids as a ministry to help parents become better advocates for their children in the public school system and actually try to reform public education in California and beyond. So currently, Jana, that POK is taking most of my time these days. JANA HARMON: Hmm. Well, if anyone is interested in hearing more about that, especially if they live in California, we'll put that link in the show notes, so they'll be able to find out more about your work there. Now, I met you about a month ago, and you were so generous to give me a pre-publication release of your new book called Ransomed. The subtitle, One Man's Journey Out of Darkness into the Light of Truth. I can tell you. For again those who are listening. This is a wonderful book. It's a really, really wonderful book. Not only does it tell your story, but it really gives an excellent substantive grounding for the Christian worldview and for the biblical text. From Nominal Faith to No Belief Let's talk about your journey and starting with your childhood. What did that look like in terms of a faith background. MARK SCHNEIDER: Well, it was very nominal in terms of faith. I was born in Oakland in the sort of the poorest post-World War Two boom years, and as a child my dad worked in local government, and that meant frequent moves. So, we were moving all the time in different homes, and I attended a bunch of different schools. And finally, we ended up in Fresno, of all places. And, um, as an adolescent, I really came to love it. It was just an incredible place to, uh, to be a young man. Uh, growing up until the wonders of adulthood, um, uh, the Sierra Nevada mountains were, uh, our backyard. So, we spent our winter skiing and our summers backpacking through the mountains. But in terms of faith, um, both my parents were nominal Catholics. Catholicism was really sort of handed down to them by both sets of grandparents, who followed the church pretty carefully. But I think for my parents it was more of a tradition than a heartfelt, um, a belief in Catholicism. I did, however, spend time in parochial schools, actually a couple of them when finances could afford it. So, I would say Jana that Catholicism gave me sort of a conceptual idea about God. Um, but it certainly wasn't deep in any way, and it certainly wasn't personal. And when my grandmother Marie died, um, she was sort of the foundation and pretense of my family's faith. And very shortly after that, I noticed that we stopped going to mass and altogether. So, I was 13 years old at the time, and one day I asked my dad about it. I said, dad, you know, why aren't we going to mass anymore? And he said, very candidly, he said, well, Mark, your mother and I talked about it, and we realized we just didn't believe it. So, we stopped going and that was it. Jana, I didn't give it much thought because I was nominal myself. And after that, I very quickly forgot all about anything having to do with the spiritual realm, with God. I really knew I'd never read the Bible at all. I had really no interest in spiritual things whatsoever. So certainly, by the time I entered adolescence, spiritual things were a thing of the past for me. JANA HARMON: So, would you have agreed with your father's statement that you just didn't believe that anymore? Or are you just. MARK SCHNEIDER: Absolutely. JANA HARMON: Right? MARK SCHNEIDER: Yes, I would say so. Certainly, by that time in the public school system. Um, the teaching of evolution and Darwinism was becoming more prominent. And as most people raised in the school system, you go along with what you're taught. And I was part and parcel of that teaching, so I accepted it pretty much at face value. When Faith Seemed Unnecessary JANA HARMON: Mhm. Yeah. So, accepting, accepting a belief at face value. You know you didn't believe in God but what kind of did you believe in. Did you. You believed in science I suppose. You believed in rational thought or rational thinking or. MARK SCHNEIDER: I would like to be able to tell you that I had some deep-seated personal philosophy or worldview that I had worked out, but I'm afraid to say it was much simpler than that. Um, my, um, intellectual life was sort of governed by my appetites at the time. As  a young boy growing into adulthood, I was more concerned with having good friends, doing fun things, be an important part of my peer group, and really not having any particular ideas or grounding for any worldview whatsoever. One thing I did know though, is that I didn't believe in God. JANA HARMON:  What did you think belief in God was, or Christianity or religion at that point when you moved away from it? How would you have described what that is? MARK SCHNEIDER: It was sort of a crutch for people who needed it. I viewed it sort of abstractly. It had never had any, um, um, really, uh, personal compulsion in my life one way or the other. It wasn't a factor that it wasn't important at all. My family and my friends never, even ever even spoke about spiritual matters, let alone the deep things of, you know what it meant to be a Christian or, you know, believe in an afterlife. It simply was not discussed. And because of that, it just became completely unimportant. JANA HARMON: Just irrelevant to your life. You didn't need God, correct? You didn't need that. That's right. Right. MARK SCHNEIDER: That’s right. It's the furthest, furthest thing from my mind. Uprooted and Angry JANA HARMON: So, talk with us about your life. I know that there were. You said you moved a good bit and that that was very pivotal in your life at times. Why don't you kind of walk us through? I know you were happy in Fresno, but then. Then you continued to move and some things happen that that weren't just as good, I think. MARK SCHNEIDER: Yes. Um, for some reason I was particularly affected by these moves. And there were there were many of them before we finally landed in Fresno. And even when we landed in Fresno, we lived in a number of different places before, um, I landed in the middle school and then the high school that I grew to enjoy so much. So, I just didn't like these, these moves at all. And one day in the middle of my junior year in Fresno, my dad made a fateful announcement at the dinner table one night. He announced that he'd taken another job in this place called Orange County. That was 300 miles to the south. I'd never been to Southern California, except once to go to Disneyland when I was eight years old. But the very idea of being uprooted yet again, in the middle of a very important time, of what I considered in my life, where I'd been accepted. I thought I was living the life of American Graffiti. It was just a wonderful time. And now I was being told that we were going to be uprooted from all of that and start all over again in this in, in another city, 300 miles away from everything I knew. And that set in motion, Jana, a change in psychology for me. It was not imposed upon me. It's one that I chose. And the psychology that I chose to engage was simply, for lack of a better term, a sense of bitterness and anger at, um, at this sudden change now that was being imposed on me. So, we did ultimately end up moving to Orange County. Um, fortunately was over, um, Christmas break. So, we lived in a hotel while the house that was being built for us was finishing, so I wouldn't have to start school for a couple of weeks after we moved. We lived. We lived in this sort of a squat hotel on this very busy street, uh, called Harbor Boulevard in Fullerton, which is in the heart of Orange County. And I had nothing to do for a couple of weeks. And so, I just sat watching TV. Um, walking up and down the street, just sort of harboring this slow boiling bitterness at, uh, where my life had suddenly landed. And this increased over time. Um, I did end up going to a wonderful high school. It turns out El Dorado High School and a little town called Placentia, um, in Orange County. And to my surprise, um, my peers were very friendly. Um, they really reached out to me. I don't know whether that was because, uh, there were a lot of people from the outside that had suddenly moved into the area. It was a new community, and that could have been part of the reason. But it actually stunned me that that people were so friendly, but far from embracing my peers. I rejected them. I wanted nothing to do with them. My one goal was to escape this place and to figure out any way that I could to get back to my old life and my old friends. Up, up in the Central Valley. So, for about six months, um, I sort of nurtured this slow boiling bitterness and internal anger. And until one day, it all came crashing down. The Sudden Descent into Darkness JANA HARMON: Hmm. Tell me about that. MARK SCHNEIDER: Well, um, the day was like any other. It was a sunny day at El Dorado. I've just been going about my classes, and I was walking down the hallway. Oh, of course, I'll never forget it. Forget it. It's emblazoned in my mind. I was walking down the hallway, just thinking to myself how much I hate this place, and I wish I could get out of here. When all of a sudden, Janet, um, my mind was sort of besieged by a wave of mental anguish. Um, something actually, um, came in and took over, uh, my psychology where I went from, yes, being bitter, but certainly feeling normal mentally and emotionally and able to experience joy and happiness and look forward to things, to one second later being sort of, uh, tossed into a sea of despondency. Um, all of a sudden, thinking itself was painful. Um, I felt like something inhabited me, and I had no idea what it was, but it was just a dark, despondent gloom, and it happened in literally a second. In fact, it was so strong that I felt I was going to vomit, and I literally shook my head and sort of a hapless attempt to shake off whatever it was that had just entered into me, but I couldn't. There was no there was no way of escape. And you can imagine, you know, what happened afterwards? I for several weeks, I just sort of went about in a state of shock, wondering what on earth has happened to me. I went from one day being a normal teenager, a young man who could enjoy life, even though I was bitter about where I was to suddenly not being able to be happy, to experience pleasure, to experience joy. Um, and my very thoughts being sort of enveloped in a darkness and a pale of darkness, and there was no way to shake it except through sleep. JANA HARMON: Wow, that. That would be incredibly disturbing. Um, especially for such a sudden change. So, it sounds almost like a clinical depression, but it it, it almost sounds like more than that the way that you're describing it at that point. Searching for An Anchor JANA HARMON: Just wondering, as someone who didn't believe in God, did you believe in any kind of spiritual reality at all? Dark or light? MARK SCHNEIDER: No. And that's the irony. And of course, as I'll continue to share, as we get more into my story, it never, ever occurred to me that there could be a spiritual element to what I was experiencing. Um, never once, which is sort of astonishing looking back. But in time I did start to consider questions that I'd never before thought of and consider them very seriously. Like, what is joy? Um, where does it come from? Is there any objective value to being happy? Um, why am I here anyway? Um. These questions. You know, I never even thought of them before, but suddenly they, they consumed me. And, um, before the attack, you know, I never had any question to question what philosophers, uh, call materialism. And now pondering this sort of left me emotionally depleted. But as the months wore on, I had to find some answer to this anguished state that I, I was, and I kept my depressed state from - to myself. I never told anybody about it, not even my parents. I didn't want to be tagged with or, you know, being associated with, I thought at the time were unhelpful labels like mentally ill or clinically depressed. I didn't really even understand what those meant. But, um, one day I decided to risk a query to my father about happiness. What? What he thought of it. And, um, his answer was true as far as it went. He basically said that happiness comes from setting goals and seeing them through. Happiness is a product of accomplishment, satisfaction in a life well run. And that was true as as far as it went. But my dad viewed happiness as sort of a layer of frosting atop an underlying emotional layer of mental well-being, sort of an inner quiet that, to the undisturbed mind is assumed. We just take it for granted. But my mind was anything but quiet. Accomplishment and goal setting were, were fine and well, but none of it meant anything until I could discover what difference it made. And I needed an anchor. And unfortunately, my father's recipe for happiness was unable to help me. So, Jana, with a little over a year now to go before graduation, I tried to make the most of things.  I got a job. I bought my first car. I made a few friends. Um, I kept my grades up. Um, I dabbled in campus, uh, politics such that by from outward appearances, you know, I probably appeared as a very normal teenager. Um, albeit a cynical one, but, um, I was fighting a war of attrition against an unseen enemy whose power I had not even begun to grasp. And this led one night. I'll never forget this. I was alone in my bedroom. It was a warm, starlit Southern California night, and, um, I just sort of. A wave of anguish swept over me, and I literally felt like a little child, isolated and all alone. I didn't know what to do. And this was the one time, in my experience, Jana, that, um, I reached out to, hopefully, someone who would hear me. And I got down on my knees in my bedroom and I prayed this prayer. I said, God, if you exist, if you're out there, help me. Please help me. Uh, that was it. Um, I didn't expect an answer. And there wasn't one. Um, aside from the hum of the streetlight outside. There was only silence. And so my battle to understand my despondency and to overcome it continued. When Philosophy Offered No Answers JANA HARMON: Now, you mentioned that you started asking these big questions that had, prior to that time of, of moving to this place of darkness, had really not even crossed your mind. But then you found yourself engaged in, you know, what are these? What is life, what it is about? What is the purpose of it? What is the meaning of it? Um, but you also in the same way, when you had dismissed belief in God, um, you mentioned the word materialism and that I guess you were, uh, embracing the worldview that only matter exists and, um, those kinds of things. And you mentioned in your book that there are those who are materialist thinkers, philosophers, that when you looked in that direction to see how they answered those big questions. But what did you find there? Were they satisfying at all? MARK SCHNEIDER: Uh, far from it. I should probably bring into the story the Ames. Um, this was a family that moved in a few doors up from us, and they were also new to Southern California, and, um, they were from Oklahoma. And, uh, Cameron Ames was about my age. We went to the same high school, and, uh, our personalities were different. Our temperaments were a little bit different, but our shared sense of isolation and anger at, you know, where we ended up at this time in our lives made for sort of an immediate kinship. And so, Cameron and I became friends, but I even more so. I was attracted to his mom and dad. They were both turned out to be college professors. His mom was a professor of psychology. His dad taught history, and Mrs. Ames in particular had a fairly prodigious library at her home. And so, I started perusing the books in her library, and before long I discovered, um, B.F. Skinner's Beyond Freedom and Dignity, which I asked if I could borrow from her. Of course, Skinner was a famous materialist. Um, and I read that book, and it's entirely. There were some other philosophers that I had read as well. Um, Abraham Maslow's A Psychology of Being. Um. And none of these books gave me any answers whatsoever. In fact, if anything, uh, their Exposition of materialism and what it meant. Only sort of solidified my belief, my developing belief that life was meaningless, that if there was any meaning to life at all, it was meaning that we gave it. It was completely subjective. There was no objective meaning for our existence or grounding, for happiness or joy. And so, you can imagine a young man already sort of a fragile mentally and dealing with serious answers to, uh, look to these so-called authority figures for answers and only being let down in a very serious way. It was extremely discouraging. I felt like they were waterless clouds, you know, having a pretense of offering answers. But in the end, not being able to offer anything at all, and I try to engage adults who I considered wiser than me in sort of serious dialog about the meaning of life and try to get some perspective on, uh, why, you know, anybody should be happy. And it was all unavailing. No one could give me the answers that I was ultimately looking for. Ironically, the one philosopher that I came to regard, or at least admire was the existential as Jean-Paul Sartre. Of course, he was a materialist as well. He was a French playwright. Playwright. In fact, he even turned down the Nobel Prize in Literature when it was offered to him because he felt like it was sort of it was a waste of time. And it was he that came up with the expression existence precedes essence, meaning if there's any purpose to life, uh, we have to come up with it. It's up to us individually to give purpose to our lives. Because there's no God at all to give it. And so, you know, with time, um, this became even more depressing to me. Uh, the great sages in the world, uh, couldn't offer me anything at all. Not the direction I was hoping to find by these people. An Encounter with the Spiritual Unknown MARK SCHNEIDER: Talking about spiritual matters, one, one day at Carleton's house, we were in a, for lack of a better word, like a den. And he pulled out some cards, and I immediately identified them as tarot. And he asked me if I knew what these were, and I'd seen him before in different, you know, pot shops and New Age bookstores and things like that. And I knew that they had something to do with foretelling the future. And so, he started to turn these cards over, and they had macabre images on them and read over, you know what they meant. And Jana, immediately I felt this malign presence. You could feel it around you. And it was rising. And I blurted out to Cameron, I said, Cameron, do you do you feel that? And to my utter shock and surprise, he said, yes. He said, let's get out of here. And he folded up the cards, and we left the room immediately. And that left a very bitter aftertaste in me that hung around for, you know, several days afterwards. But still, despite this, it never occurred to me that the pain in my head could be, have any connection at all with something else besides my own corrupted, you know, brain structure or chemistry or psychology. Still, it never occurred to me. JANA HARMON: And even that dark sense of presence in the room. Did that cause you to sit back and go, well, maybe there is something more than this material world. MARK SCHNEIDER: It didn't, strangely, and I still have no explanation for that. I just never put two and two together at that time. Returning to Fresno, Finding Temporary Relief MARK SCHNEIDER: But yeah, you were right. Finally, my high school experience came to an end, and my parents had always had academic high hopes for me. And we had some connections. And I had planned actually earlier before this, to attend the Air Force Academy and, uh, joined the military and become a pilot, eventually followed by a plum career in the airline industry, but this whole experience now just completely changed my trajectory in life. My one goal was to get back to the place where I had last experienced some joy and peace. And of course, that was the Central Valley. So, the decision had been made. I was going to be I was going to move back to Fresno very shortly after, uh, after high school graduation, uh, which I did. Um, I remember the day when I left, I packed up my car with all my earthly possessions. I'd already made arrangements with friends up in Fresno to have an apartment with a group of buddies of mine. And, uh, looking back at my mom's face who had tears in her eyes, um, as I drove away from home. And, uh, I'll never forget that. But something very, very strange happened on the drive up to Fresno. Um, it's, uh, if you don't know, California. Um, Orange County and Fresno are about 300 miles apart, so it's like a six hour drive. Um, to get up there. So, you've got plenty of time to think. And, um, I was thinking, well, you know, my life is sort of starting anew. At least I hope it is. Yes, I'm depressed, but, you know, maybe, maybe something will come of this and, um, we'll see. So, I had some hope, but I think it was about an about an hour outside of Fresno. It was about 9:00 in the evening when all of a sudden, I noticed it. Jana, the spiritual oppression that I'd been experiencing for about 18 months now suddenly lifted. It happened in a moment. It was like this dark cloud that I'd been carrying around for months and months just sort of dissipated, and all of a sudden, I was myself again. I felt kind of renewed my sense of joy and peace came back. I was looking forward to the future. And on the way up to Fresno to meet with my friends, I thought, wow, maybe this was the reason why I was so depressed that that moved to Southern California. Now that I'm moving back. I found the reason for my despondency, and I hoped that that was a chapter that had ended. But of course, is my story as told. It wasn't. When the Darkness Returned JANA HARMON: Well, you had some reprieve. It is interesting. As suddenly as it came on you that darkness and depression, it quickly in a moment left. So, I was, so, you're moving back to Fresno to find life and joy and renewed hope again. What did you find? MARK SCHNEIDER: Well, like most young men my age, I lived according to my appetites. Um, because it had been so expected of me. I didn't roll in a community college, um, only to drop out after the second semester for lack of discipline. Um, I was more concerned with just having fun and being with my friends and exploring youthful passions, which I did with abandon. Um, and I was having a great time. Um, I found a job. Um, uh, International Harvester. It's not around anymore. Working as a sort of a service department clerk, And I'd hoped that over time, you know, I would join the ranks of the salespeople there, maybe one day even get into management. If I lacked gravitas, gravitas, or a sense of seriousness. It really didn't bother me. I was just content at that time in my life, just to enjoy life as it was and take life one day at a time. Um, but that it all changed. Um, one night we were out to dinner, and this is probably about, um, a year or a year and a half after I'd moved back to Fresno. So, a good deal of time had passed, and we were out to dinner and just having a discussion about nothing in particular when someone had mentioned something or another. I can't even remember what it was when all of a sudden, Janna, I was attacked afresh. The same thing that had happened years later at El Dorado came upon me once again at the dinner table with my friends. Just an absolute crushing wave of despair and despondency. It happened immediately. Was this thing. It wasn't slow over time. It was instantaneous. But unlike before, this seemed much, much worse, much more serious. And I knew instantly that whereas before, a simple move in geography would make a difference between happiness and unhappiness. That was not going to work a second time. So here again, I was. I already moved to Fresno. I was with the people that that I enjoyed. I was having the time of my life. And yet it suddenly dawned upon me that that had not been the reason for my crushing despair. I didn't know what had brought this on. I'd been perfectly content. But also, as before, I realized that I had to carry on since I didn't have any answers. I had to pretend like everything was okay and try to make the most of things.  If I'd learned anything from my prior experience. It was my best defense against this crushing despair was to not think about it, to sort a will. My thoughts and emotions up and away from it, to not dwell on it at all. Because if I did, um, you know that that would just lead to further and further pain. But. Jana there's no escaping one's own conscious thoughts. They're with you all the time. So really, the only escape that I had was sleep. And very unusually. Um, I don't know if this ever happens to you, but sometimes when you're dreaming, you know you're dreaming. You know it's a dream. And this would happen to me. And in my dreams, I was free from this pain. But always upon awakening, of course, it would immediately return. And I had no explanation for this whatsoever. The Search for “The One Truth”  MARK SCHNEIDER: It was extremely disheartening, and I tried my best to once again try to identify, um, you know, what was the cause of this? And I, I forgot to mention earlier on that even back, um, in high school, I, I realized that if ever I was to surmount this despondency. If ever I was to find a reason to go on, it would rely on finding some principle, some objective truth. What I came to refer to as the one truth that even if it didn't deliver me from my depression, at least it would give me the strength to go on, the fortitude to press on. And so, this search for this principle, this one truth for me, became all consuming. Um, as before I read other philosophers. I tried to figure out, you know, what the proper worldview was. In fact, I even made an appointment with my personal doctor. Um, because by this point, I was desperate for some kind of relief. And I had resisted doing that because I thought, well, as soon as I confess to anybody, you know, the kind of pain that I've been in, uh, they're going to commit me to a sanatorium, and I know that's not going to help me. So, uh, I resisted. But finally, out of desperation, I did make an appointment with my personal doctor. And I needn't have worried because he just told me that, um, Mark, you know, we modern men, unlike prehistorics, you know, we don't have things that we can do to deal with anxiety and the stress of modern life. Uh, we can't go out and kill a water buffalo. He actually said that with a smile on his face. He said, we have to rely on more, um, pedestrian means so we can take drugs to help with, with internal anxiety. So, he prescribed, uh, I guess the de jure drug. At the time, it was Valium, a tranquilizer as being the, um, you know, the remedy for my anxiety.  And I knew that that that was not the answer. That the doctor, Doctor Green did not have the answer for my problem. So, he gave me a sample prescription. And when I got home, I emptied the bottles down the toilet and never took them. Never took them. A Failed Search for Peace  MARK SCHNEIDER: But one day I started noticing these fliers around town and they were for something called Transcendental meditation. And on the picture of the flier was, um, sort of a Hindu guru. He looked like a Hindu Mona Lisa, um, the Maharishi Yogi. And there being offered at this seminar that was going to be held in town, was the one thing in my life that I most desperately a desired simple peace of mind. And here it was being offered by this smiling guru. Now, at the same time, Jana, I had this instinctive sense of peril. I remembered the tarot card incident years earlier, and I wanted nothing to do with unseen forces. So, I hesitated in going to this seminar when it was being offered. But over time, I realized that, you know, all my own diligence to read the philosophers and to try and come up with some meaning for life and a reason to keep going on despite my despondency, had come up empty. So, I finally realized I had to take a chance.  So, I went. The night that the flier said that the seminar was going to be held. But when I got there, the community center was completely dark. There was no one there. The parking lot was empty, and I looked at the flier again to see. Is this the right place and the right time? And surely it was. But there was nobody there. And I just figured, you know, one possibility that it got canceled. And, you know, I didn't get the notice. But walking back to my car, I had another sense that something or someone did not want me going there. It only lasted a few minutes. JANA HARMON: Like, it was the wrong direction. Yes. Yeah, yeah. MARK SCHNEIDER: It's the wrong direction. You're not to go to this. This isn't. This isn't the truth you've been seeking and, but it passed. And after that, I. I never gave the Maharishi another thought. And the depression and the despondency continued on.  So, by this time, now we're around the holiday season in 1974. And as most towns, Fresno was, you know, lit with the holiday lights and holly and Christmas trees everywhere, and the town was filled with packages and people getting together for parties and to celebrate. But for me personally, I felt completely untethered from those around me, spiritually abandoned and without hope in the world. But Jana, as you've read my book, um, it was all about to change. And in a manner that that I could never imagine in my in my wildest dreams. “Smile, Jesus Loves You” MARK SCHNEIDER: And it was preceded the particularly the, the appointed day, as I call it in my book, was preceded by a day like any other. I was I was at work, and I was laboring quietly at my desk, and I began to ponder sort of the course that my life had taken over the last several years. And it occurred to me that I was kind of both a subject and observer of a living paradox, that inside me were two minds set against each other. Um, one that I known and abided with my entire life, that that wanted good things for me, that enjoyed life, that looked forward to the future. Another mind that told me that I was a genetic weakling, that I was unfit for this life. That my future was set, that the advancing months and years would only bring deepening despair, and that there was really no hope for me. Uh, my long search for truth had brought no relief whatsoever, forcing me to perhaps accept the fact that the universe was no more than an endless track of space and dust. That the reason my cosmic plea for help years earlier hadn't been answered was because there was nothing to no one to hear it. And as I began to ponder this thing, these things that at my desk at work, I literally broke out in a cold sweat, and I raced up to the bathroom. Fortunately, it was uninhabited at the time, and I looked at myself in the mirror, reflecting on the fact that, um, here I was, a young man, only 21 years old, but that already, um, it seemed that my life was over, but it was not over. Far from it. JANA HARMON: Yes. Tell us, tell us what happened. MARK SCHNEIDER: Well, I was able to get through the rest of that day, and I drove my customary route home. Um, to my apartment, and I it was down this road called Van Ness, which is a central thoroughfare that goes through Fresno. And at one point in my drive, I pulled up behind this pickup truck, and on the pickup truck there was a bumper sticker. And I'd seen these bumper stickers before. Never really noticed them. But as my eyes read the caption on the bumper sticker that said, almost comically, smile, Jesus loves you. That's when it happened. All of a sudden, like liquid love, this heavenly power literally swept in starting from the top of my head. Slowly working its way through. Down through my chest and into my arms and body throughout. Just waves of heavenly love and peace pouring over me. And the despair of all the past years was suddenly in a moment. Swept away I felt just incredible love. And I didn't hear it with audible ears, but with spiritual ears. I heard this voice said, “I am the truth that you've been searching for.” Discovering That Truth Is a Person   Jesus, the source of all that ever existed, had suddenly entered into me and it was powerful. I can't even describe it how powerful it was. My body shook from the impact. Jana, I had to pull the car over to the side of the road, and I sat there in my car, just heaving great bursts of pent up energy, crying uncontrollably, not in despair, but now in uncontrollably just joy. Complete joy that the one truth, the source of everything that existed or ever would exist, knew me, knew my name, and heard my cosmic plea of years earlier and chose that time and that place to reveal himself to me. It turned out that Jesus was the that the one truth was much more than some principle or philosophy. It turned out that the one truth was actually a person, the person of Jesus Christ. Well, after 20 minutes or so of just sobbing and weeping, I managed to pull myself together and get to my apartment. And I should mention the two weeks before I had been with some friends at a Christmas tree lot, and I didn't know at the time. I sort of assumed it, but it had been run by a religious group of some kind, and when you bought the Christmas tree, they gave you a small paperback book, and the book was entitled Good News for Modern Man, and I had no interest in it at the time. And I remember that night that I got home, set the Christmas tree up. I just put the book in my makeshift bookshelf. Didn't give it another thought. But now when I got home on this night, where is that book? And there it was in my bookshelf, and I immediately picked it up and starting I started reading, um, the first page and the first page in this particular book, um, was Matthew chapter one. It was a modern rendition of the of the gospel story. And for the next several hours I just sat there reading the gospel and it dawned on me, Jana, that I had never read it before.  No one had ever given me a Christian tract as far as I could remember. No one had ever presented the gospel to me. But now God personally was revealing his truth to me. First at the stop sign on Van Ness Boulevard and now through his Word. And as I started to read Matthew's account of the gospel once again, it has happened at the stop sign, but now more subdued, as if to say, Mark, heed this Word. Waves of heavenly love started once again pouring over me. And as I read certain passages, um, God would personally impress upon me. You know, you need to understand this.  Um, and so about midnight, it was it was close to midnight. I had reached the point in Matthew's gospel that Matthew actually Matthew chapter 16, when Jesus had come into the district of Caesarea Philippi and he had asked his disciples, who do the people say that the Son of Man is? And as you know, you know, some people said, well, some say you're John the Baptist, or they say you're Elijah or Jeremiah or some other Old Testament prophet. But then Jesus asked them. But who do you say that I am? It was the question. The question of the ages. The question every human soul is ultimately going to have to answer, was the question now being posed to me, and Simon Peter was the first person to respond. And he said, you are the Christ, the son of the living God. To which Jesus responded, blessed are you, Simon bar Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my father who is in heaven. And suddenly dawned on me, Joanna, that just as with Peter. The God of heaven, Jesus incarnate, now revealed the same revelation to me. Well, I got down on my knees and cried out to the Lord of heaven, and as best I could, to understand the gospel that had been declared to me now through the Word. I gave my life to Christ. And, uh, it surprised no one more than me that I, among all people, had become a Christian. Uh, people who before I thought of as harmless but always slightly annoying. And now I was suddenly one of them. The Peace That Remained  JANA HARMON: Mhm. Well, that. That's extraordinary. That experience, the revelation of Christ in your life, uh, through that spiritual experience, through reading his gospel. Um, he presented himself to you, like you say, in answer to that prayer. It was honored several years later. How amazing is that? And I, and I wonder, the dark depression that you had been dealing with it, you said things changed in a moment. Did it sustain? Have you had trouble with that sense?  MARK SCHNEIDER: Never. From that morning on the peace of God, which is word, promises and abundance has been with me ever since. It's never left. And it's not that I haven't faced life's difficulties. I have, like every man who's lived so long. But the joy and the peace that the Lord promises have been a constant in my life. Grounding Faith in Objective Truth JANA HARMON: And you were in such an earnest search for purpose and meaning and what life was all about. How have those questions been answered for you? Now that you have become a Christian, that you found the truth in the person of Christ? MARK SCHNEIDER: Well, this leads really to part two, I guess, of my journey and in my book Ransom, for those interested in reading it, um, because I'm still, I think, by nature a skeptic, I suddenly felt the need to ground my subjective salvation experience, um, with objective truth, ground it with the life that we actually live in this world. So, this set me on a whole new, um, journey. But rather than being a depressing journey, it's been the adventure of my lifetime to ground the truths of Scripture in actual reality. And this is the story that the rest of my book tells in philosophy and science. And getting along with people and dealing with difficulty in our lives with difficult truths in the Scripture. And as you know, if you've read my book that I'm more convinced today of the truth of the Scripture than I ever have been. What Should a Seeker Do? JANA HARMON: Yes. And the truth of the spiritual reality, both the darkness and light. It sounds like, yes, that you have a very keen understanding of, of how even you can we can live in our lives and not be aware in a sense, of this real spiritual reality that's going on around us, in us and through us that is trying to affect us in various ways. But yes, I really encourage anyone who is very thoughtful asking these questions, wrestling with depression, even trying to find their way in life without God, or, you know, with God and trying to find substantiated reasons for, for our faith. And, and Mark does a really, really beautiful job of that. Um, you've done a beautiful job also of telling your story. If somebody's listening, Mark, and they're listening to your story and and it's obvious you are a transformed man and that it has sustained over many decades your faith and your walk with Christ, that you continue after decades to proclaim Jesus as the person who is truth, and that His word is truth, and that it's worth believing. Um, but they may be at a place where they they're looking for something. Maybe their life isn't what they had thought or planned, but they're open. You know, maybe they are even open enough to say, God, if you're real, you know, show me. Or are there when they're wondering, what should I do next? Um, you've obviously been on a journey. How would you recommend that someone become open to the possibility, or if they are open to the possibility? What steps should they take toward in the direction of God to find what you have found? MARK SCHNEIDER: I would say, first of all, that open yourself up to the possibility that life is more than you know. We all have personal worldviews, sort of a grid or lens, that we use to filter the world, that we use to separate the wheat from the chaff.  And our worldview is often shaped by things like personal knowledge, intuition, uh, science, uh, things like that. But none of these things by themselves is sufficient to lead us completely to truth. And I think my advice would be that if you're a skeptic, if you consider yourself an atheist or even an agnostic, at least consider the fact that there may be more to life than what you suppose. If Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living, seriously, examine your worldview to see if it comports with reality. Or if you're someone who's struggled all your life with meaning. Or maybe you've been depressed and you've struggled with that off and on throughout your life. Jesus says, peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you, not as the world gives, give I unto you. The world can sometimes give happiness, but it can never give you that underlying peace which God always meant for us to experience through him. In fact, Paul said in Romans one seven. Grace to you and peace from God our father, in the Lord Jesus Christ. In fact, he's called the God of peace by Paul in Romans 15:33. So, I would just pray that you would consider opening yourself up to the fact that God is who he said he is. And ask him to reveal himself to you. But if you're honestly seeking him. Rest assured he will answer you. Where to Start Reading the Bible JANA HARMON: And he revealed, the Lord revealed himself through Scripture as well. I would imagine it would be, uh, it would behoove someone to find that the good news for modern man to open up the Bible to look at what you have often called the Gospel, the good news. Uh, maybe read Matthew or one of the other, uh, biographies of Christ. Um, I presume you would recommend starting in Matthew or. MARK SCHNEIDER: Um, well, Matthew was where the Lord chose me to start because that was the book that he gave me. But I would actually recommend the Book of John. If you've never read Scripture before, start with the Gospel of John and read that and then go back and read the other Gospels. JANA HARMON: That's a good recommendation. And Mark you, you are a beautiful representative of Christ. You express your faith so eloquently. Um, and we all know people who perhaps don't believe they're skeptical of belief. They're skeptical of God. Maybe they think, as you did when you were in your earlier days, that you're fine without the religion thing. Um, that that you were rather indifferent to it. MARK SCHNEIDER: Every person is unique. Um, there's no two of us that are the same. We all have our journey, our own personal journey of faith. But throughout the scriptures, there's what is called the scarlet thread of redemption. It doesn't start in the New Testament. The Bible is actually 66 books written by 40 different authors over a period of some 1500 years. It's a combined narrative of many different authors, but the entire canon of Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, tells the same story that the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many. That's why my book is called Ransomed. I was personally ransomed, and you can be ransomed as well. Who Do You Say That I Am?  JANA HARMON: Mark, your story is truly amazing. I love; it really encapsulates your subtitle here. One man's journey out of darkness into the light of truth. You are a man who is sitting there, who is representing the light, because it's obvious that the light lives in you. You know you're no longer oppressed by darkness and the peace that you speak of. It's just so obvious and evident. And I think what I love mostly about your story, which is so powerful, but is that you bring it back to the very central point, and that is Jesus. And the question, who do you say that I am? Um, and that is the question for all of us, is the one that we will all have to answer at the end of the day. But I also think by people listening to your story, they're like, If Jesus has done this for Mark and given him this kind of peace and joy in spite of all life circumstances and truth. That is really what we're all looking for, right? I mean, it's that's the thing that our heart longs for. And Jesus is the one standing there offering with his hands open wide. And I love that you've really brought that, because he is, and even in your book, that Jesus is just waiting and it's available for all who seek him. And I pray that anyone who's listening to your story today will come and will seek and will find what you have found. So, thank you so much for coming to tell your compelling story. Closing Mark's story reminds us that truth is not merely something to analyze from a distance. If truth is ultimately a person, then it doesn't simply inform us. It confronts us, calls us, and invites a response. And that's what makes Jesus's question so unavoidable. Who do you say that I am? We all have to answer that question. If this conversation resonated with you, we'd love to help you keep exploring. Visit our YouTube channel for curated playlists around big questions like: Is there more to life than this? Or is God real? And if eX-skeptic has been meaningful to you, would you consider supporting this ministry? Your donation helps us continue sharing real stories and thoughtful conversations that encourage seekers and equip Christians to engage skeptics well. This podcast is produced by the C.S. Lewis Institute Podcast Network and the help of our producer, Ashley Kelfer. Thanks for joining us, and we hope to see you next time where we'll hear another unlikely story of belief.

🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Growing up in a deeply Christian home, Shayla Perez assumed that faith was simply part of her family tradition. But as she entered her teenage years, skepticism began to grow. Questions about suffering and whether Christianity was actually true led her into online atheist communities and eventually to reject the faith she grew up around. What began as rebellion soon became a sincere search for truth. As Shayla wrestled with the claims of atheism and the intellectual foundations of Christianity, she discovered something she had never expected. Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  Guest Bio: Shayla Perez is a Christian speaker and content creator passionate about helping the next generation discover the truth of Christianity. After a season of skepticism and involvement in online atheist communities as a teenager, she returned to faith through apologetics, philosophy, and a personal encounter with Christ. Today, she reaches Gen Z and Gen Alpha through social media, youth events, and churches, engaging honest questions about faith and culture.  Resources Mentioned: eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Shayla’s Recommended Resources: William Lane Craig, Reasonable Faith https://www.reasonablefaith.org Frank Turek, Cross-Examined, https://crossexamined.org Cliff Knechtle, Give me an Answer: https://www.youtube.com/@givemeananswer Got Questions: https://www.gotquestions.org Total Truth and Finding Truth, Nancy Pearcey:https://a.co/d/066TnGwI Shayla’s Social Resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shayla_j_perez/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shayla_Perez TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shayla_j_perez Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 Introduction: "God, If You're Real..." 00:34 Welcome & Introducing Shayla Perez 02:00 Shayla's Ministry & The Digital Mission Field 03:54 Growing Up a Pastor's Kid 06:08 When Skepticism Began 08:00 The Internet & Online Atheist Communities 11:12 Reading The Case for Christ (But Not Believing It) 13:24 What Atheism Couldn't Explain 14:57 Richard Dawkins, Morality & The First Doubts 17:48 Wrestling with the Problem of Evil 20:41 Christian Apologists Changed Everything 23:17 Giving God One Honest Chance 26:21 When Prayer Became Real 27:00 The Moment Shayla Came to Faith 29:52 Faith Isn't Blind 32:35 Can Logic Strengthen Faith? 34:02 How Do You Know Christianity Is True? 36:08 Advice for Parents of Skeptical Teens 42:46 Resources for Those Wrestling with Doubt 46:13 What Christianity Offers Gen Z 49:38 The Power of Personal Testimony 52:40 Why the Internet Is Today's Mission Field 55:50 Final Reflections & Takeaways eX-skeptic transcript Welcome & Introducing Shayla Perez

For decades, Charles Murray assumed what many educated people quietly assume - that religion belonged to an earlier age and that science had rendered belief in God unnecessary. He wasn't hostile to faith. He simply left it behind. But over time, questions he had never fully examined began pressing in. Why is there something rather than nothing? Why does the universe appear so finely tuned for life? Can consciousness really be reduced to the brain? And what should we make of the historical claims surrounding Jesus? In this conversation, author and social scientist Charles Murray shares the long, intellectual journey that led him to reconsider the reality of God and the claims of Christianity. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  Guest Bio: Charles Murray is a social scientist, author, and public intellectual known for his work on culture, social policy, and human flourishing. A longtime scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, he has written widely discussed books including Coming Apart, The Bell Curve, and Losing Ground. His recent book, Taking Religion Seriously, reflects on his intellectual journey from secular indifference toward a growing openness to belief in God and the significance of religion in human life. Resources Mentioned: eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Charles’ Resources: Book:  Taking Religion Seriously: https://a.co/d/07zebfp4 Charles Recommended Resources: Just Six Numbers by Martin Rees: https://a.co/d/09w1XE5g Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis: https://a.co/d/0ejEDb7P Jesus and the Eye Witnesses by Richard Bauckham: https://a.co/d/0gg8Uplk Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Is Christianity true because it works, or does it work because it's true? For years, Ellie Long was convinced that Christianity was nothing more than a story people used to cope with life. Raised in a secular environment and embracing atheism at a young age, she wrestled with despair, depression, and the belief that life ultimately had no purpose beyond birth and death. But when she began encountering Christians whose lives were marked by joy, authenticity, forgiveness, and hope, a question emerged that she could no longer ignore: Was Christianity merely helpful, or was it actually true? 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH   Guest Bio: Ellie Long is a young missionary from Allentown, Pennsylvania. She grew up in a post-Christian culture and did not have experiences with Christians in her everyday life. She unexpectedly encountered God halfway through her time at the University of Alabama, and after a period of hesitancy and questioning, believed and began working in a local church and pursuing the mission field after her graduation in 2024. She recently spent time in Southeast Asia, working with an unreached people group in a Muslim culture, and is now considering where she is going to bring the gospel to next.  Resources Mentioned:  eX-skeptic Guides: https://exskeptic.org/bookstore/ Ellie’s Recommended Resources: •        Wes Huff (www.wesleyhuff.com) on Joe Rogan’s podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwyAX69xG1Q •        Gavin Ortlund, Truth Unites (https://truthunites.org) •        Book: Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, Nabeel Quereshi  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when anger, disappointment, and painful family experiences shape your understanding of God? For Rich Robison, faith wasn't something he was searching for. Raised in a fractured home and moving 26 times before graduating high school, Rich eventually rejected God altogether. His anger toward his earthly father became anger toward any heavenly Father, and atheism seemed like the obvious conclusion. But an unexpected encounter during a concert changed everything. What followed was a journey through different world religions, hard intellectual questions, and a growing fascination with the person of Jesus. Along the way, Rich discovered that Christianity's message was unlike anything else he encountered, not a story of striving to reach God, but the story of God coming to us. Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH Guest Bio: Rich Robison blends engineering leadership, entrepreneurship, and faith. For the past two decades, he’s been navigating the software industry through tech companies big and small. A serial cofounder, Rich has helped launch multiple companies with successful exits. He sees his work as a mission field in itself.  Based in Northern Colorado, Rich has been married for 22 years, and he’s the proud dad of two daughters, Abby and Chloe, and the owner of three dogs, Porter, Stout, and Hefeweizen. 2026 year marks his 30th spiritual birthday!  Resources Mentioned: Rich’s Resources: •        LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/richrobison/ •        Email: [email protected]  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 The Moment I Knew God Was Real 00:31 Introducing Rich Robison 01:49 Technology, Faith & Studying Scripture 03:42 Growing Up in a Broken Home 05:23 Why Religion Didn't Make Sense 06:40 Anger at God & Becoming an Atheist 08:21 Does Atheism Require Faith? 11:50 Searching for Joy & Fulfillment 13:15 An Unexpected Encounter with God 16:21 When God Reached Out First 17:15 Searching Through World Religions 19:05 Why the Baha'i Faith Fell Short 21:30 Why Jesus Stood Apart 23:00 Seeing the Power of Prayer 25:00 Finding Freedom from Addiction 27:00 Wrestling with Christianity's Exclusive Claims 35:06 What Makes Christianity Different? 37:45 Suffering, Forgiveness & Breaking the Cycle 45:04 How Faith Transformed Rich's Life 49:00 Finding Peace & Advice for Skeptics

What would cause someone with both emotional and intellectual reasons to reject God to reconsider? Mark Haville grew up in the UK in an abusive home with no religious foundation and little reason to believe God was real. Science, suffering, and life experience all seemed to point him away from faith. But an unexpected encounter with a persistent Christian neighbor, a strange answer to prayer, and a growing hunger for truth opened the door to a life he never expected. In this episode, Mark shares his journey from a painful childhood and practical atheism to faith in Christ. He and Jana talk about suffering, forgiveness, science, evolution, apologetics, and why belief is not just a matter of evidence, but of the whole person - mind, will, and emotion.   🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH Guest Bio: Mark Haville has worked in Christian media for more than thirty years as a producer, writer, and filmmaker. A graduate of Hampstead Bible School in London, he also holds two work-equivalency degrees in Directing and Film Studies from Montana State University. He is an award-winning producer and author of Life’s Story, a wildlife documentary presenting a creation perspective, and has engaged in public debates on questions of origins of life. Now based in Nashville, Mark continues developing feature film projects exploring faith and the deeper questions of life. Resources Mentioned: Mark’s Resources: •        Timeless Life Ministries: [email protected] •        Film: Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed - https://www.amazon.com/Expelled-Intelligence-Allowed-Ben-Stein/dp/B003LMSSVC  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What does it cost to build a life without God? For Anh Le, it meant carrying everything - his identity, purpose, success, and morality, alone. Raised without religious commitment and shaped by a worldview rooted in self-reliance, Anh believed meaning and fulfillment was something you created and earned. And for a while, it seemed to work. Driven by ambition, relationships, and the pursuit of pleasure, he chased everything that promised satisfaction. But underneath it all, he was crumbling with anxiety, emptiness, and a quiet realization that nothing he built could hold the weight he was placing on it. Then, unexpectedly, everything changed. In this episode, Anh shares his journey from atheism and self-reliance to a living relationship with Jesus, one that redefined identity, restored purpose, and brought a peace he never thought possible. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  Guest Bio: Anh Le is the host of The Real Life Radio Show, a nationally syndicated program airing on both Christian and secular radio networks across the United States. With over a decade in broadcasting, Anh explores the question: Is Jesus still real and active today? Once an atheist shaped by science, self-reliance, and personal ambition, Anh now shares his story of encountering Christ and discovering a radically different way to live, rooted in relationship with God. He is also a business owner and communicator passionate about helping others move from skepticism to honest exploration. Resources Mentioned:  Host, The Real Life Radio Show - https://therealliferadioshow.com/home •        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anh.le.3192 •        Twitter/X: @evangelistanhle •        YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@therealliferadioshow  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Chapters 00:00 What Happens When You Build Life Without God? 02:00 Meet Ahn Le 03:00 Growing Up Between Buddhism and Catholicism 09:50 When His Family Began to Fall Apart 12:45 The Prayer That Seemed to Go Unanswered 14:40 Choosing to Find His Own Way 16:20 Why Religion Seemed Man-Made 20:35 The Pressure of Making It on Your Own 23:30 Can You Be Good Without God? 28:55 Chasing Happiness, Success, and Relationships 36:05 When the Dream Started Falling Apart 41:05 Anxiety, Failure, and Losing Control 43:55 Why Success Wasn't Enough 48:20 The Unexpected Thought: Go to Church 52:15 An Atheist Goes to a Christian Retreat 55:00 What Christians Had That He Didn't 58:15 The Bible Verse That Changed Everything 01:03:20 "I Know You" — An Encounter He Couldn't Explain 01:07:50 Realizing Jesus Might Actually Be Real 01:11:00 The Peace That Changed His Life

What if the biggest barrier between you and God are the quiet lies you’ve believed about Him your entire life? Jeremy Gronau carried those lies for years, formed through trauma, loss, and a lifetime of trying to prove his worth. After growing up without a clear understanding of the gospel, Jeremy built his identity on achievement, strength, and performance, ultimately serving as an Apache helicopter pilot in Afghanistan. But beneath the surface were deeper questions about suffering, identity, and whether God could truly be good. In this conversation, Jeremy shares his journey from shallow, cultural Christianity and skepticism to a life transformed by a personal encounter with God. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH  C.S. Lewis Institute Summer Academy: https://www.cslewisinstitute.org/?event=global-event-c-s-lewis-institute-summer-academy&event_date=2026-07-12 Guest Bio: Jeremy Gronau is a former U.S. Army Apache helicopter pilot who served nearly a decade in the military, including a deployment to Afghanistan. After leaving the military due to severe physical injury, Jeremy pursued a Master’s degree in Pastoral Counseling from Liberty University, specializing in crisis and trauma intervention. He is the founder of Warriors in Christ, a Christian counseling practice dedicated to helping veterans, first responders, and individuals navigate trauma, restore relationships, and discover their God-given purpose. Jeremy is passionate about helping others experience healing, identity in Christ, and the transforming power of the gospel. Resources Mentioned: Jeremy’s Resources: •        Website: Warriors for Christ - https://warriorsinchrist.one •        YouTube Bible study: https://www.youtube.com/@Warriors-In-Christ Atheists Finding God: https://exskeptic.org/atheistsfindinggod/  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What if being brilliant, successful, and disciplined still isn’t enough to save you from fear, obsession, and self-destruction? From the outside, Lisa’s life looked enviable—PhD, postdoctoral research at a leading medical school, and a rising career in behavioral health. But beneath the surface, she was unraveling: anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, and relentless obsessive fear followed her for years. Convinced that intelligent, rational people didn’t need God, Lisa tried everything except faith. It wasn’t until desperation forced her to confront the limits of her own limits that she became open, reluctantly, to the possibility she might be wrong.   🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Want to support this channel? Tax-deductible donations available here: https://givebutter.com/CB6WoH Guest Bio: Dr. Lisa Stanton is a social psychologist, researcher, and writer. With a PhD in social psychology and a career in behavioral health, she brings a rare blend of empirical insight and personal honesty to questions of identity, meaning, and human flourishing. Her recent work centers on her personal experiences in recovery from not only addiction, but also eating disorders, anxiety conditions, ADHD, irritable bowel syndrome, alopecia areata, and more. Lisa writes at drlisastanton.com, shares reflections on Instagram at @drlisastanton. Resources Mentioned: Lisa’s Resources: •        Website:  drlisastanton.com •        Instagram: @drlisastanton •        Book: 52 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned in Recovery: A Journey Towards Sobriety, Honesty, and Radical Forgiveness Lisa’s recommended resources: •        Alpha Course – https://www.alpha.org •        OCIA - https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/264519/becoming-catholic-everything-you-need-to-know-about-ocia •        Bible Study Fellowship - https://www.bsfinternational.org •        Wes Huff, Christian Apologist - https://www.wesleyhuff.com Atheists Finding God: https://exskeptic.org/atheistsfindinggod/ Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Chapters 00:00 From Skepticism to Freedom 00:06 Meet Dr. Lisa Stanton 03:03 Taking Her Faith Public 04:02 Growing Up Confused About God 08:25 When Suffering Made God Seem Impossible 15:47 Driven by Fear and Achievement 17:51 Faith, College, and the “God of Rationality” 21:42 How Academia Reinforced Her Secular Worldview 26:35 Anxiety, OCD, and Eating Disorders 29:00 Addiction and the Cycle She Couldn't Break 33:25 Desperation Becomes the Turning Point 35:44 COVID and Drinking Around the Clock 38:32 The First Step Toward Sobriety 39:55 Trying to Get Sober Without God 42:24 The Recovery Meeting That Changed Everything 44:00 “I Need to Know Your Secret” 45:45 The Day She Surrendered to God 48:00 What Changed After Surrender 50:37 Finding Freedom Through Faith and Forgiveness 58:25 Is Christianity Actually True?

What if the worldview you trusted most began to crumble under its own weight? Chris Wright grew up in a deeply Christian home, surrounded by Scripture, church life, and belief. But as he moved into adolescence, competing ideas like evolutionary theory, cultural pressure, and hidden personal struggles pulled him steadily away from the faith he knew. By the time he reached college, Chris was confronted by bold professors, each insisting that Christianity was intellectually weak, morally suspect, or simply outdated. But instead of convincing him, their hostility toward Scripture and the dismissal of the faith of his childhood awakened something unexpected: a desire to test everything for himself. Guest Bio: Chris Wright is a writer, apologist, and creator of the Allegiant Faith Network Substack, where he focuses on apologetics, theology, biblical studies, and worldview formation. After a season of deep doubt fueled by cultural pressures, academic skepticism, and personal struggles, Chris set out on a rigorous search for truth that led him back to Christianity through evidence and reason. He holds a Master of Divinity from Asbury Theological Seminary and writes to help skeptics, seekers, and believers think clearly, question well, and understand why Christianity offers a coherent, intellectually grounded view of reality. Chris is active on Substack and X, where he engages thoughtfully with skeptics and equips Christians for meaningful conversations about faith.  🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Resources Mentioned: C.S. Lewis Institute: https://www.cslewisinstitute.org/ Chris’s recommended resources: Book: Reasons for God, Tim Keller Book: Evidence that Demands a Verdict, Josh McDowell Author/Website: Frank Turek, www.crossexamined.org Book: The Big Book of Christian Apologetics – an A to Z Guide, Norm Geisler Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ What if denying Christianity felt like freedom—but that path slowly revealed itself to be hollow? In this episode of eX-skeptic, Jana Harmon sits down with Grenville Kent, an Australian theologian, filmmaker, and former skeptic who once believed Christian faith would restrict his joy rather than enrich it. Grenville shares how a hedonistic, achievement-driven worldview eventually collapsed under its own weight, and how unexpected conversations, honest doubt, atheist thinkers, and a simple prayer cracked the door open to something more. Come and hear how Grenville began to experience the personal, loving God who was already pursuing him. Guest Bio: Grenville Kent, PhD, is an Australian theologian, filmmaker, and storyteller who blends rigorous scholarship with creative, accessible communication. He holds a PhD in Old Testament from the University of Manchester, a Doctor of Ministry in Apologetics, and several additional degrees across film, commerce, and education. He is the author of God Walks Into a Bar, a lively and engaging exploration of evidence for belief, and the creator of the internationally broadcast documentary series Big Questions. Grenville has taught Old Testament and apologetics and continues to speak and write in ways that resonate deeply with skeptics, seekers, and Christians alike. Resources Mentioned: Grenville’s Resources: •        Book: God Walks Into a Bar… •        Film documentary series: Big Questions  https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Grenville+Kent+Big+Questions •        Academic research: https://morlingcollege.academia.edu/GrenvilleKent  Grenville’s recommended resources: •        Apologists: C.S. Lewis, Frances Schaeffer, William Lane Craig, John Lennox,   Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What if the questions that once pulled you away from faith could be the very questions that lead you back? That’s exactly what happened to Matt Schmidt. As a naturally inquisitive kid, Matt felt the weight of questions that no one around him could answer — questions about science, origins, morality, and whether the Bible could be trusted. With no guidance or satisfying explanations, he walked away from Christianity and embraced atheism. But the same relentless curiosity that distanced him from belief slowly began to unravel the foundations of his atheism. How do you get something from nothing? Where does morality come from? Why do humans care about meaning at all? Listen to what Matt discovered through his journey. 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Guest Bio: Matt Schmidt is the co-founder and CEO of Engage 360, a ministry dedicated to helping everyday Christians share their faith with clarity, confidence, and compassion in everyday conversations. Matt holds a master’s degree in philosophy with studies in theology, apologetics, and biblical studies from Southern Evangelical Seminary. Resources Mentioned: Matt’s Resources: •        Website: Engage 360 www.e360m.org. Engage 360 Core Training online courses and community: www.e360m.org/reset . A course track designed to help people learn to lead an investigative Bible study in their home or church: www.e360m.org/bible Matt’s recommended resources: •        Alistair Begg, www.truthforlife.org •       R.C. Sproul on the reliability of scripture: https://www.truthnetwork.com/show/renewing-your-mind-rc-sproul/44894/?utm_source=chatgpt.com  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Before she became one of today’s leading Christian thinkers, Nancy Pearcey walked away from Christianity. Disillusioned by shallow answers and a painful home life, she turned instead to atheism, relativism, and Eastern spirituality in search of something she could truly believe. After studying at Francis Schaeffer’s L’Abri in Switzerland, her search led her back to the exploration of a robust, intellectually grounded faith. Listen and hear Nancy share how rigorous thinking, honest doubt, and lived experience converged to reveal Christianity as not only true, but as the most coherent explanation of reality.  Guest Bio: Nancy Pearcey is a professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University and a former fellow at the Discovery Institute. Once a skeptic who abandoned her childhood faith, she became convinced through careful study that Christianity offers the most rational account of reality. She is the award-winning author of Total Truth, Finding Truth, Love Thy Body, and The Toxic War on Masculinity. Her work has been described as “C. S. Lewis for the modern age,” helping believers think clearly and helping skeptics see the intellectual and moral depth of the Christian worldview. Resources Mentioned: Website: www.nancypearcey.com Mentioned Books: Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from Its Cultural Captivity Finding Truth: 5 Principles for Unmasking Atheism, Secularism, and Other God Substitutes Nancy’s recommended resources: Mere Christianity, Miracles, C.S. Lewis Escape from Reason, The God Who is There, Francis Schaeffer The Dust of Death, Os Guinness America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): https://americaschristiancu.com/Jana/ Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when faith feels like pretending, and you can’t live with the disconnect anymore? Erika Diaz-Castro, a wife, mom, and Bible teacher who once lived a double life—publicly religious but privately wrestling with doubt, shame, and the pull of self-fulfillment. Her story traces a winding path through skepticism, identity confusion, new-age spirituality, and even spiritual darkness, until a powerful encounter with God changed everything. Guest Bio: Erika Diaz-Castro is a wife, homeschooling mother, Bible teacher, and founder of Her Renewed Strength, a ministry equipping women to know God’s Word and grow in confidence through it. Once a skeptic, Erika now helps others cultivate daily spiritual discipline and find freedom in surrendering to Christ. She also hosts Her Renewed Strength Podcast and is pursuing a Master of Theology with a concentration in Apologetics and Philosophy. Resources Mentioned: 🎙️ Love the show? Support the mission and explore eX-skeptic merch here: https://ex-skeptic-shop.fourthwall.com/ Her Renewed Strength –herrenewedstrength.com Her Renewed Strength Podcast – https://herrenewedstrength.com/podcast Delighting in the Trinity by Michael Reeves Bible in a Year reading plan (YouVersion App) Through the Word & Word for Today with Chuck Smith America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): https://americaschristiancu.com/Jana/ Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Have you ever tried to find peace by walking away from God or from the judgment and expectations that once made faith feel heavy? Heather Sewell shares her story of running from faith and searching for peace. Raised as a pastor’s daughter, Heather learned early how to wear masks and manage secrets. As her family’s struggles deepened, so did her confusion about God and truth. Searching for meaning, she embraced Eastern religions and the “Coexist” movement, calling herself a “Christian Hindu” while trying to find peace through self-discovery. But when the illusion of freedom gave way to pain and numbness, Heather encountered God in an unexpected way—a voice that simply asked, “Are you done?” Guest Bio: Heather Sewell is a ministry leader, speaker, and storyteller whose faith journey began with basic questions concerning God’s goodness in reaching secular religions. She started her ministry work at Orphan Care Alliance in Kentucky and now works at Summit Ministries in Colorado Springs. She now has the opportunity to equip parents and teens nationwide through the Summit Student Conferences and Ambassador Program, empowering families to help their teens grow in faith with clarity and confidence. With more than 10 years of experience working with children and youth, Heather has seen firsthand the questions and cultural pressures that can shake a young person’s beliefs. Her journey, rooted in her own story of God’s redemption and her passion for guiding the next generation, has shaped her calling to walk alongside families so that truth and relationship come together in everyday life. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): https://americaschristiancu.com/Jana/ Summit Ministries: https://www.summit.org/ Registration for Summer 2026 is now open, with two-week sessions in Manitou Springs, Colorado, and Anderson University, South Carolina. Visit summit.org/exskeptic to learn more. And when you register before March 31st, use code EXSKEPTIC26 to save $500 off your student’s registration. Cold-Case Christianity by J. Warner Wallace  The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson  The Gospel of John — For those wanting to rediscover the person of Jesus Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What if you’re content with life, confident in science, and still quietly curious? Dr. Jim Small, MD, PhD, pathologist, professor, and lifelong scientist was raised without faith and felt no need for God. Science explained the world well enough. But through marriage, community, and simply showing up at church, curiosity began to stir, not from crisis or doubt, but from an openness to questions he’d never felt compelled to explore. In this episode of eX-skeptic, Jim reflects on a quiet, surprising journey from confidence in science alone to faith in Christ and how curiosity slowly reshaped how he understands life, death, and truth. Guest Bio: Dr. James Small, MD, PhD, is a retired pathologist and current Professor of Microbiology at Rocky Vista University College of Osteopathic Medicine. His career spans Duke, the University of Utah, and service as Medical Director of Laboratories at Porter Adventist Hospital in Denver, with research published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Raised in an atheist home, Jim was surprised to discover faith in God and Jesus during his medical training. He’s now active in the Christian Medical and Dental Associations and has served on medical mission trips abroad. Jim and his wife of 44 years have three daughters and five grandsons. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): https://americaschristiancu.com/Jana/ C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when a brilliant researcher, once convinced God was nothing more than a cultural artifact, decides to take a second look? In this episode of eX-skeptic, Dr. Lee Holcombe shares his remarkable journey from faith in childhood, through skepticism and intellectual dismissal of Christianity, to a surprising return to Christ. With a career spanning electrical engineering, education policy, and high-level research, Lee applied his analytical skills to life’s biggest questions. His pursuit of truth took him from Alaska to Morocco, Harvard to Texas, and ultimately to unexpected encounters with God through both reason and experience. In this conversation, we explore: How childhood faith gave way to skepticism and intellectual rejection of God The role of the Peace Corps, education, and tragedy in shaping his worldview Why near-death experiences, philosophy, and cosmology opened him to the possibility of God Powerful dreams that challenged his materialism and drew him to Christ How God is now using his expertise in education and data-driven strategy in global missions If you’ve ever wondered whether faith can hold up under the weight of tough questions—or whether God still meets skeptics on the path of truth—Lee’s story will encourage and challenge you. Visit exskeptic.org for curated playlists on science, suffering, meaning, and God’s reality, along with resources from past guests. Guest Bio: Dr. Lee Holcombe is a researcher, educator, and missionary whose career spans engineering, education policy, and international missions. After earning his undergraduate degree in electrical engineering from Rice University, he worked on advanced defense technology before serving in the Peace Corps in Morocco. He went on to earn a doctorate in education from Harvard and served in leadership and research roles at the University of Texas and Texas Higher Education Agency, bridging the worlds of research and policy.  Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): https://americaschristiancu.com/Jana/ Gary Habermas – Minimal Facts Argument for the Resurrection C.S. Lewis Institute – cslewisinstitute.org Research on near-death experiences (University of Virginia Division of Perceptual Studies) Lee’s recommended resources: •        William Lane Craig on the Kalam Cosmological Argument •        Thomas Nagel, Mind and Cosmos Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What if faith isn’t blind, but freeing? For much of her life, Megan Carroll believed she didn’t need God. A self-reliant achiever who valued reason and control, she dismissed Christianity as something to accept “without evidence.” But when life unraveled—through illness, heartbreak, and uncertainty—Megan found herself face-to-face with questions she couldn’t ignore. From a childhood encounter she couldn’t explain, to experimenting with spiritualism in college, to finally crying out to God in desperation—Megan’s story traces the slow undoing of self-sufficiency and the surprising discovery that real strength is found in surrender. Guest Bio: For the first 30 years of her life, Megan lived without faith, denying God every chance she could, and chasing her own path. But everything changed when the person she thought would be in her life forever walked away. That’s when she encountered the love of Jesus. Now, about 18 months into her walk with Christ, Megan is on fire for the Lord. She is deeply studying the Bible, growing in truth, and learning to seek God in every area of her life. Pre-Jesus, Megan lived for herself. Today, she lives to glorify Him. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana Seamless: Understanding the Bible as One Complete Story by Angie Smith The Bible Recap by Tara-Leigh Cobble Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What if belief in God isn’t opposed to reason, but demanded by it? Olivier Bonnassies, co-author of God, the Science, the Evidence: The Dawn of a Revolution, was once convinced that Christianity was irrational and that science explained everything, but he began to question his assumptions about reality, truth, and the origins of the universe. Through years of study in both science and theology, Olivier discovered that the evidence, from cosmology, philosophy, morality, and even history, points unmistakably toward a transcendent Creator.  Together, Jana and Olivier explore: How growing up in secular France shaped his skepticism The role of scientific discovery in revealing purpose and design Why the Big Bang, fine-tuning, and morality point beyond materialism How evidence led to faith, and ultimately, to joy and transformation Guest Bio: Olivier Bonnassies is a French engineer, entrepreneur, and author with a background in both science and theology. Educated at the prestigious École Polytechnique in Paris, he spent years building successful companies before turning his attention to life’s deepest questions. Once an agnostic, convinced that belief in God was irrational, Olivier embarked on a personal investigation that led him to faith in Christ. He is co-author, with Michel-Yves Bolloré, of God, the Science, the Evidence: The Dawn of a Revolution, a bestselling book in Europe (over 400,000 copies sold) now launching in the U.S. Through his research and writing, Olivier argues that the convergence of science, philosophy, and history reveals a compelling case for God’s existence. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana God, the Science, the Evidence: The Dawn of a Revolution by Olivier Bonnassies & Michel-Yves Bolloré Website: www.godthesciencetheevidence.com The Catholic Institute of Paris École Polytechnique C.S. Lewis Institute — for deeper learning and apologetics resources eXskeptic.org — curated playlists including “Can I Believe in Science and God?” Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Where do we find real love, the kind that fills our souls and heals our brokenness? Is it through politics, psychology, or self-help? Or is it found in a Person?  British journalist Heather Tomlinson shares her remarkable journey from a secular liberal worldview to a life transformed by Jesus Christ. Once convinced that human progress and political reform could heal the world, Heather found those paths empty. Her search for meaning led her through science, psychology, and even spirituality in Buddhism and Wicca—until she encountered the love of Christ through the Gospels. Heather’s story reveals that faith in Jesus doesn’t just inform ideas—it reorders life itself: how we see people, how we approach suffering, and how we understand love. Guest Bio: Heather Tomlinson is a British journalist and writer who spent the early part of her career working for national newspapers in the UK, including The Guardian. Trained in molecular biology, she began her career reporting on industry and finance before moving into psychology and mental health. A one-time secular liberal, Heather’s pursuit of truth led her through science, politics, and spirituality until she found the love and reality of Jesus Christ. Today, she writes for Christian publications and serves in pastoral care, helping others discover faith and healing through God’s love. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana Heather’s Resources: •        Substack: https://heathertomlinson.substack.com/ Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis Battelle Christian Rehab (UK ministry) The C.S. Lewis Institute Podcast Network  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Few questions weigh heavier on the human heart than death. Is there anything beyond this life? How do we face death without fear? Dr. Stephen Iacoboni has wrestled with these questions every day for more than forty years as a medical oncologist. Once a committed scientific atheist, he sought answers in medicine, science, and humanism—only to find them insufficient in the face of mortality. Through the witness of his patients and the growing cracks in naturalistic explanations, Dr. Iacoboni came to embrace faith in God, discovering a hope that transforms both life and death. In this conversation, he shares his journey from childhood faith to scientific atheism, through years of treating patients at death’s door, to finally returning to belief in Jesus Christ. Along the way, he examines the failures of naturalism, the role of science, and the undeniable human longing for meaning that points to something greater. Guest Bio: Dr. Stephen J. Iacoboni is a veteran oncologist, author, and speaker whose medical career spans more than forty years. Trained during an era dominated by scientific materialism, he once embraced an atheistic worldview. But through decades of walking with cancer patients in their deepest suffering, he rediscovered the reality of the human soul and the hope of faith. He is the author of The Undying Soul: A Cancer Doctor’s Discovery and Telos: The Scientific Basis for a Life of Purpose, where he shares both his personal journey from atheism to faith and his case for meaning and design in life. Today, Dr. Iacoboni continues to write and speak on the intersection of science, medicine, and spirituality, encouraging both doctors and skeptics to see beyond a purely mechanistic view of life. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana Stephen’s Resources: •        Book: The Undying Soul •        Book: Telos- The Scientific Basis for a Life of Purpose Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Over more than 130 episodes, we’ve listened to former atheists and skeptics share how they came to believe in Jesus Christ. This week marks a milestone: five years since eX-skeptic first launched (originally as Side B Stories). Scientists, philosophers, artists, and everyday people from around the world have opened their lives to show how the search for truth and meaning led them home to God.  Host Jana Harmon reflects on the journey so far — the stories that shaped us, the community that’s grown around this podcast, and the faithfulness of God behind it all. Whether you’ve been listening since day one or just discovered the show, we want to thank you for being part of this story! Here’s to many more years of doubt, discovery, and faith. Resources Mentioned: C.S. Lewis Institute – long-time partner helping people love God with heart and mind: www.cslewisinstitute.org Ashley Kelfer – producer and co-creator behind the mic with Jana The Podcast Upload – production team behind the show’s excellence and storytelling: https://www.thepodcastupload.com/ America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when the “certainty” of atheism collides with evidence pointing to something more? Caleb Ball’s (YouTube’s Aspiring Christian Channel) story begins in small-town Pennsylvania, where childhood faith gave way to mocking Christianity and embracing naturalism. For six years, he lived as a convinced atheist, creating YouTube content ridiculing God, convinced that science had all the answers. But one book, on quantum physics and consciousness, began to dismantle his worldview, forcing him to ask deeper questions about truth, meaning, and the existence of God. Guest Bio: Caleb Ball is a former atheist turned passionate Christian communicator. Once a vocal critic of Christianity, known online as “Crazy Caleb” during his atheist YouTube years, he now uses his platform to share testimonies of skeptics who found faith in Jesus. Through his YouTube channel Aspiring Christian, he curates conversion stories and apologetics content to help others wrestle honestly with life’s biggest questions. Caleb holds a degree in history and is pursuing a Master’s in Biblical Studies at Colorado Christian University. He and his wife live in Montana, where they are active in their local church and community. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana YouTube: Aspiring Christian, https://www.youtube.com/@AspiringChristian Substack: https://substack.com/@aspiringchristian Quantum Physics, Near Death Experiences, Eternal Consciousness, Religion, and the Human Soul: William Joseph Bray: 9781478176435: Amazon.com: Books •        Book: Ecclesiastes (from the Bible) •        Book: A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis •        YouTube: Daily Dose of Wisdom, https://www.youtube.com/@Daily_Dose_Of_Wisdom •        YouTube: Sean McDowell, https://www.youtube.com/@SeanMcDowell •        Book: Seeing is Believing, Michael Guillen •        Michael Guillen’s interview on eX-skeptic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWW3JbYZSQI&t=1s •        Author: John Lennox •        Book: More than a Carpenter, Josh and Sean McDowell •        MIT Professor: Rosalind Picard Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic

Jason Holloway grew up in a small, conservative church where faith seemed simple—until his honest questions about suffering, contradictions, and the Bible met unsatisfying answers. At 18, a conversation with a trusted professor left him believing he lacked “enough faith,” prompting him to walk away from Christianity for the next 25 years. In that time, Jason explored atheism, agnosticism, Buddhism, and nearly every “ism” he could find, searching for meaning and truth. Eventually, he returned to the Bible—not just as literal text, but as boundless truth, rich with meaning, depth, and beauty. Guest Bio: Jason Holloway is a creative and strategy director in marketing and advertising, and co-host of The Boundless Bible podcast. Raised in a Christian home, Jason left the faith for over two decades., exploring philosophy, psychology, world religions, and secular worldviews in search of truth. Jason now shares his story to encourage skeptics and believers alike to ask hard questions and discover the richness of God’s Word. Resources Mentioned: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana The Boundless Bible Podcast – Hosted by Jason Holloway, David Shapiro, and Javi: https://theboundlessbible.com/  “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” by Joseph Campbell The Bible – Especially the Gospels for those exploring Christianity Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Dr. Michael Egnor spent decades trusting science to answer life’s deepest questions. As a neurosurgeon and professor, he believed the brain held the key to understanding everything — including who we are. But over time, he encountered things science couldn’t explain: children thriving with missing brain structures, moral truths that couldn’t be reduced to biology, and a growing sense that materialism had serious gaps. Dr. Egnor shares how philosophical honesty, scientific curiosity, and a surprising moment of divine encounter opened him to a new possibility that God not only exists, but that the Christian story offers the best explanation for the human mind, moral law, and the universe itself. Guest Bio: Michael R. Egnor, MD, is a Professor of Neurosurgery and Pediatrics at State University of New York, Stony Brook, has served as the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery.  He received his medical education at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons and is an award-winning brain surgeon. His new book, The Immortal Mind: A Neurosurgeon’s Case for the Existence of the Soul, explores the scientific and philosophical evidence for the soul, arguing that the human mind possesses faculties such as consciousness, free will, rational thought, and self-awareness that cannot be reduced to physical brain activity alone.  Resources Mentioned: Check out our Sponsor: America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): https://americaschristiancu.com/jana/ Blog: https://www.discovery.org/p/egnor/ Book: The Immortal Mind: A neurosurgeon’s case for the existence of the soul (2025)  “Mystery of the Mind” by Wilder Penfield “Witness” by Whittaker Chambers Works by Ed Feser on Thomistic philosophy St. Thomas Aquinas’ Five Ways Augustine’s argument from universal concepts The Principle of Sufficient Reason (Leibniz) Immanuel Kant’s argument from moral law Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected] Episode Transcript

Molly Worthen is an academic, a historian of religion, a Yale-educated professor at UNC-Chapel Hill, and was an agnostic for decades. She studied Christianity, wrote about it, and even lived alongside devout believers. But belief itself? That always felt just out of reach. In this conversation, Molly shares how God gently disrupted her intellectual framework, used unexpected relationships (including Pastor J.D. Greear), and led her on a rigorous investigation of the resurrection that changed everything. Listen as she unpacks: Why she resisted religion growing up How studying Orthodoxy and evangelicalism fed her curiosity Why most scholars don’t take the resurrection seriously, and why she did How she moved from detached study to full surrender If you’re a skeptic, seeker, or a believer walking with one, this is an invitation to deeper reflection.  Guest Bio: Molly Worthen is a professor of history at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a freelance journalist. She received her BA and PhD from Yale University. Her research focuses on North American religious and intellectual history. Molly writes about religion, politics, and higher education for the New York Times and has also contributed to the Atlantic, the New Yorker, Slate, and other publications. Resources Mentioned: Molly’s Resources: •        Website: mollyworthen.com •        Book: Spellbound (2025)  •        Book: Apostles of Reason: The Crisis of Authority in American Evangelicalism •        Book: The Man on Whom Nothing was Lost: The Grand Strategy of Charles Hill •        Great Course: “History of Christianity II: From the Reformation to the Modern Megachurch,” •        Course on Audible:  “Charismatic Leaders Who Remade America.”  Molly’s recommended resources: •        Reasons for God, Tim Keller •        Resurrection and the Son of God, NT Wright •        Jesus and the Eyewitnesses, Richard Bauckham •        Language of God, Francis Collins •        Author, David Bentley Hart •        A Severe Mercy, Sheldon Van Auken America’s Christian Credit Union (ACCU): AmericasChristianCU.com/Jana Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic

Can reason, morality, and public good stand without God? Allison Leonhardt once thought so. An atheist from her teens, she was convinced religion was outdated, the Bible unreliable, and morality explainable through modern thought and politics. With The God Delusion in hand, she challenged religious teachers and built her worldview around science, social justice, and self-made meaning. But when the pandemic forced her into isolation in a foreign country, and a friend casually invited her to watch an online church service, something unexpected happened. Curiosity gave way to conviction, not through pressure or platitudes, but through Scripture that spoke directly to her experience. Guest Bio: Allison Leonhardt is a Senior Communications Advisor in the housing industry. Her career has taken her around the world as she spent several years working in finance and management in the United Kingdom. She is a sought-after Campaign Manager for all three levels of government in Canada, most recently having run a campaign in the 2025 Federal Election. She has a diploma in Public Relations from the University of Victoria. Allison has recently been announced as one of the 2025 Cardus NextGen Fellows. Resources Mentioned: Alpha Course – A safe space for exploring the basics of Christianity: https://alpha.org Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis – Introductory apologetics from a former atheist Return of the God Hypothesis, Stephen Meyer  The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel – Investigative journey of a skeptical journalist John Rylands Library – Home of the oldest known fragment of the Gospel of John: https://www.library.manchester.ac.uk/rylands/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allison-leonhardt-7a75b377/ Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What would lead a Jewish man, raised in an Orthodox home, who didn’t even know who Jesus was, to become a Christian pastor, podcast host, and author of a book on the evidence for Christ? David Shapiro shares his unlikely journey from strict tradition to sincere faith. Growing up in Queens, New York, David was immersed in Jewish customs, Hebrew school, and temple life. But over time, he began to question the rituals and drift from belief altogether. What followed was a long road through agnosticism, atheism, military service, and a successful career in martial arts, all while pushing God further and further away. Yet, in the quiet moments, and even in unexpected places, God kept nudging. Guest Bio: David Shapiro is a pastor, chaplain for a local fire department, co-host of the Boundless Bible podcast, and a soon-to-be published author of Jesus Christ: A Lot of Evidence. Raised in an Orthodox Jewish home in Queens, NY, David never imagined he’d one day come to faith in Jesus—let alone teach others about Him. With a doctorate in religious education, a background in professional martial arts, and a testimony that spans atheism, agnosticism, and deep academic study, David now uses his unique story and voice to help others encounter the truth and grace of Jesus Christ. Resources Mentioned: Book (Coming Soon): Jesus Christ: A Lot of Evidence by David Shapiro Book and Website: https://www.drdavidshapiro.org/general-1 Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/50ZbQ1Sy0uQtmx1DxmhT3Y Isaiah 53 – A Key Prophecy The Great Isaiah Scroll / Dead Sea Scrolls – For historical background on biblical reliability Recommended Next Step: Read the Bible (start with the Gospels or Isaiah 53) and explore the entire narrative. Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when a neuroscientist trained in rationalism begins to question the very worldview that shaped his career? Trevor Lohman is a clinical neuroscience researcher and author of God’s Eye View. Raised with a nominal faith and drawn early into the promises of scientific progress, Trevor embraced atheism with confidence. For years, he believed that science held all the answers—until he realized how many of those answers rested on assumptions, unanswered questions, and even faith of a different kind. Trevor shares how intellectual integrity, personal reflection, and the birth of his children led him to rethink everything. From the limitations of naturalism to the surprising relevance of Scripture, Trevor walks us through his journey from doubt to belief—and how science, far from disproving God, pointed back to Him.  Guest Bio: Trevor Lohman is a clinical research neuroscientist, professor, and author whose academic path began in cellular and molecular biology before transitioning into gene expression and aging. Currently serving as an assistant professor at a medical school in Los Angeles, Trevor explores the intersection of neuroscience and cardiovascular disease. Despite a successful scientific career, Trevor experienced a seismic worldview shift. Once a staunch atheist deeply immersed in rationalism, he began to question the very foundation of his beliefs. His journey—driven by curiosity, intellectual honesty, and a deep love of science—led him not away from reason, but toward faith. His debut book, God’s Eye View, challenges the modern cultural divide between science and spirituality and reclaims the spiritual heritage at the roots of scientific inquiry. Resources Mentioned: Book mentioned: “God’s Eye View” by Trevor Lohman https://amzn.to/3Z0jGYV People mentioned: John Lennox Stephen Meyer Michael Behe Lee Strobel Federico Faggin (physicist and inventor of the CPU) Robert Sapolsky (critic of free will) Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens (representing rational atheism) Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when a horror filmmaker, once a staunch atheist, sets out to disprove Christianity, only to be convinced by the evidence? Michael Ray Lewis, a filmmaker who once mocked Christians, dismissed the Bible as nonsense and devoured documentaries that tore down belief in God. But when his wife unexpectedly felt called back to Christ, Michael set out to prove her wrong, and instead, found himself confronted by something he couldn’t ignore: the evidence. Michael shares how his atheism was shaped by a childhood void of genuine faith, how his fascination with horror films reflected a deeper spiritual searching, and what ultimately opened his eyes to the truth of Christianity. Guest Bio: Michael Ray Lewis is a filmmaker and former atheist whose search for truth led him to faith in Jesus Christ. Michael now uses his passion for storytelling to communicate truth through film. He is currently directing Universe Designed, a documentary exploring the evidence for God through science, reason, and personal stories. The film features leading apologists and thinkers and aims to help skeptics take a second look at Christianity. Michael lives with his wife and two children just south of Dallas–Fort Worth, where he continues to create meaningful media projects grounded in faith. Resources Mentioned: Website: UniverseDesigned.com Books Michael Recommended The Reason for God – Tim Keller I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist – Frank Turek & Norman Geisler Person of Interest – J. Warner Wallace Tactics – Greg Koukl Apologists/Thinkers Featured or Referenced: Hugh Ross (Reasons to Believe) Frank Turek Sean McDowell Stephen Meyer J. Warner Wallace Greg Koukl Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

What happens when the pursuit of intellectual certainty leads not to clarity, but to doubt, and doubt, in time, leads back to faith?  Jeffrey Geibel, a seasoned mathematics educator and former skeptic, shares a journey that challenges assumptions about belief, knowledge, and truth. Raised in a home where chaos, cultural Christianity, and moral contradictions shaped his early view of faith, Jeff set out to find truth through reason and lived experience. Though once deeply involved in church and sincere in his belief, growing disillusionment with theological inconsistencies and a reliance on subjective experiences ultimately led him to atheism, then to radical agnosticism, questioning whether anything could truly be known at all. The turning point came unexpectedly, in a graduate-level geometry class.  Guest Bio: Jeffrey Geibel is a veteran high school mathematics teacher with two decades of experience in public education. He holds a master’s degree in mathematics and brings a deep appreciation for critical thinking, logic, and analytical inquiry to both his profession and personal life. Outside the classroom, Jeff is a dedicated husband and father of nine, with a passion for exploring the intersections of faith, reason, and human experience. His journey through skepticism, agnosticism, and ultimately back to belief reflects a thoughtful engagement with both intellectual honesty and existential meaning. Resources Mentioned Jeffrey's website: KingJesus.info Geibel Family Blog: Math Master’s Musings: 581 Studies in Geometry | The Geibel Tribe Math Textbook that Jeffrey referenced - Euclidean and Non-Euclidean Geometries: Development and History (4th Edition) Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Show Notes: Why do people believe in God, or reject Him altogether? In this compelling episode, Dr. Jay Medenwaldt shares his intellectual and spiritual journey from atheism to belief. A social psychologist with a PhD from Baylor and a current professor at Northwestern College, Jay approached religion from a purely academic lens, interested in why people believed in things he once viewed as clearly false. But, in an effort to avoid confirmation bias and stay true to his role as a researcher, Jay began examining both sides of the argument. To his surprise, the rational and historical case for Christianity was stronger than he expected. Guest Bio: Dr. Jay Medenwaldt, a former Air Force behavioral scientist with nine years of service, including teaching psychology courses at the Air Force Academy and conducting research. Dr. Medenwaldt holds a doctorate in social psychology from Baylor University, with a focus on the psychology of religion and virtue. He also earned a Master of Divinity in apologetics, ethics, and biblical studies, as well as a Master’s in psychological sciences. His research has been published in prominent journals, including The International Journal for the Psychology of Religion and Current Opinion in Psychology.   Resources Mentioned:  The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel The Historical Reliability of the Gospels by Craig Blomberg Reasonable Faith by William Lane Craig Concepts: Confirmation Bias, Cosmological Argument, Teleological Argument Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Laura Zifer Powell seemed to be doing everything right. A top-tier student and Division I athlete at Duke University, she was driven, disciplined, and outwardly successful. But beneath the surface, something was missing. The more she achieved, the emptier she felt. And when a health crisis brought everything to a halt, the questions she had avoided for years finally caught up with her: What is all this for? What’s the point of being good if it still doesn’t satisfy? In this candid conversation, Laura shares her journey from moral pragmatist and religious skeptic to a confident follower of Christ. She opens up about the moment everything changed—a late-night plea to a God she wasn’t sure existed, and the quiet unraveling that followed. If you've ever asked, “Is this all there is?” or wrestled with the gap between outward success and inward emptiness, Laura’s story offers more than answers—it offers hope.   Guest Bio: Laura Zifer Powell is a Christian apologist, writer, and speaker. She is the founder of An Affair with Reason and co-host of the Knight and Rose Show podcast. She graduated from Duke University with a bachelor’s in public policy, earned her master’s degree from Denver Seminary, and is currently working on her Doctor of Ministry in Public Theology from Birmingham Theological Seminary. She has ministered in over thirty countries on five continents and has seen first-hand how false worldviews harm and destroy God’s image bearers, while the Christian worldview leads people and societies toward human flourishing. As an apologist, she shares evidence for the biblical worldview and discusses how our worldview ought to impact every area of life, from our relationships to our public policy and economics. Her blog, previous interviews, and speaking request form can be found at her website, www.AnAffairWithReason.com, and her 20-lesson online course, Islam Foundations, is available at womeninapologetics.com. Resources Mentioned: Laura’s Resources: •        An Affair with Reason: https://laurazpowell.org/ •        Knight and Rose Show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@knightandroseshow •        Knight and Rose Show: https://knightandrose.podbean.com/ •        Islam Foundations course: https://womeninapologetics.com/islam-foundations-course/ Books Laura Recommends: I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist by Frank Turek & Norman Geisler The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel How Now Shall We Live by Chuck Colson & Nancy Pearcey Is God Just a Human Invention? by Sean McDowell & Jonathan Morrow The Case for the Resurrection of Jesus by Gary Habermas & Mike Licona Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

 “If there is a God… I’ll follow. I’ll serve. I’ll give my life to you.” Vince Revo is a former atheist who, like many, walked away from the faith of his childhood after encountering religious hypocrisy, unanswered questions, and deep personal pain. Raised amid church culture but overwhelmed by contradictions, Vince found atheism to be a more rational, liberating path, at least at first. But what began as a rejection of blind belief slowly unraveled into a deeper crisis of meaning. From new age philosophy to law of attraction, from hedonistic escape to intellectual searching, Vince tried to find something—anything—that could fill the void. Guest Bio: Vince Revo is a Canadian filmmaker, podcast host, and bi-vocational pastor with a passion for engaging culture through story and truth. Once a committed atheist who explored Eastern philosophies, New Age spirituality, and humanism, Vince now uses his platform to speak openly about his dramatic return to faith in Jesus Christ. As the founder of the Revo Report and Vince Revo YouTube channels, he creates thought-provoking content that tackles skepticism, faith, and spiritual transformation. With a background in media production and theology, Vince is committed to equipping others to explore life’s biggest questions with honesty, courage, and intellectual integrity. Resources Mentioned: Apologists: William Lane Craig Ravi Zacharias Frank Turek Josh McDowell Connect with Vince Revo: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@vincerevo/videos Instagram: Vince Revo on Instagram  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Can science and faith truly coexist? In this compelling episode of eXskeptic, Dr. Michael Guillen—Harvard physicist, former ABC News science editor, bestselling author, and once-devout atheist—shares his unexpected journey from scientific certainty to Christian faith. With three PhDs in physics, mathematics, and astronomy from Cornell, Dr. Guillen lived and breathed science, dismissing religion as irrelevant and unscientific. But when science couldn't answer his most profound questions—like "Why is there something rather than nothing?"—his lifelong assumptions began to unravel.  Guest Bio: Dr. Michael Guillen is a physicist, a bestselling author, and a former Emmy-winning science correspondent for ABC News. Holding a rare 3D PhD from Cornell University in physics, mathematics, and astronomy, Dr. Guillen has taught at Harvard University and served as the science editor for ABC News, appearing regularly on Good Morning America, 20/20, and Nightline. Now an internationally respected speaker and writer, Dr. Guillen is the author of several acclaimed books, including Can a Smart Person Believe in God? and Believing is Seeing. He speaks globally on the relationship between faith, science, and reason, advocating for intellectual honesty and the courage to ask life’s biggest questions. Resources:  Books by Michael Guillen: "Believing Is Seeing" "Can a Smart Person Believe in God?" Website: https://michaelguillen.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelguillenphd/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michaelguillenphd Twitter: https://x.com/drmguillen Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Dr. John Taylor, a former atheist, once ardently dismissed the very concept of God, fearing it would cost him his autonomy. Growing up, John was exposed to the traditions of the Methodist church but found himself increasingly at odds with its teachings. As a teenager, he embraced atheism, fueled by skepticism towards religion and a belief that Christianity lacked intellectual rigor. He relished debates with Christians, eager to challenge and dismantle their faith. However, his life took an unexpected turn. Guest Bio: John Taylor is a dedicated professor of New Testament at Gateway Seminary in California, positioned just east of Los Angeles. With an eight-year tenure, he leads the Department of Biblical Studies, focusing his efforts on preparing future ministers, missionaries, and Christian academics. Passionate about imparting his knowledge, John primarily teaches courses on theology unique to Pauline letters, aiming to inspire and equip his students to effectively carry out their ministries. Through his work, he actively seeks to multiply the wisdom and insights he has accumulated over the years, contributing to the growth and enrichment of the Christian community. Resources Mentioned: Fuller Theological Seminary Fuller Theological Seminary and the University of Cambridge Gateway Seminary Website: https://www.gs.edu/academics/faculty-directory/member/1356019/ Dr. Taylor’s blogs: https://thegateway.press/author/johntaylor/ Academic Profile: https://gs.academia.edu/JohnTaylor Francis Schaeffer: “He is There and He is not Silent” Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

After transitioning from cultural Christianity to agnosticism, author Rod Dreher experienced profound encounters with the divine that reshaped his spiritual journey. In this episode, Rod shares pivotal moments that reignited his sense of wonder and enchantment, despite facing disillusionment and crises within the church. His quest for spiritual depth led him down unexpected paths, ultimately deepening his awe and connection with God. Guest Bio: Rod Dreher is an American author, journalist, and commentator known for his insights into culture, religion, and politics. He has written extensively for top publications like The American Conservative and National Review and is the author of several influential books, including Crunchy Cons, The Benedict Option, and Live Not by Lies. Beyond his books, Dreher has maintained a strong presence as a columnist and blogger, engaging in public discourse on a range of issues from religious freedom to cultural identity. His work continues to influence readers and thinkers interested in the intersection of faith and modern culture. Resources Mentioned: “The Benedict Option” by Rod Dreher “Live Not By Lies” by Rod Dreher “Living in Wonder” by Rod Dreher Soren Kierkegaard Philosopher and Theologian Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/roddreher/?hl=en   Twitter: https://x.com/roddreher   Website: https://roddreher.substack.com Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Raised in a politically charged, largely non-religious household in Kentucky, Bill found himself embracing atheism through his teenage years, driven by hedonistic pursuits and a disdain for religious beliefs. His life appeared to follow a promising path in political activism until it spiraled into drug addiction and legal troubles, culminating in a transformative 17-day stint in jail. Guest Bio: Bill Scott serves with dedication at Ratio Christi, based at Houston Christian University. In his capacity as the Assistant Director of Ratio Christi International, Bill leverages his expertise to engage with diverse global communities. His role encompasses initiating and supporting ministry projects worldwide, fostering a robust dialogue around apologetics across different cultures. Bill’s international outreach and commitment to promoting apologetics underscore his professional mission, making his work both impactful and fulfilling. Resources Mentioned: “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins “The Case for Christ” by Lee Strobel “Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus” by Nabeel Qureshi Bart Ehrman New Testament Scholar Apologists: JP Moreland William Lane Craig Lee Strobel Nabeel Qureshi Francis Schaeffer 2 Corinthians 5:17 Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Larry Sanger, co-founder of Wikipedia, esteemed philosopher, and passionate advocate for truth-seeking. Raised in a religious environment, Larry’s journey evolved from childhood faith to agnosticism, fueled by his dedication to reason, evidence, and philosophical exploration.  Through rigorous philosophical study, a deep engagement with the Bible, and profound personal experiences, Larry's skepticism was challenged and reshaped, leading him to a deeper reflection on life's existential questions. Guest Bio:   Larry Sanger is an analytical philosopher, internet project developer, and co-founder of Wikipedia. He holds a Ph.D. in philosophy from Ohio State University and has been involved in multiple knowledge-based initiatives, including Nupedia, Citizendium, and Everipedia. Sanger has been a strong advocate for internet freedom, online credibility, and decentralized knowledge platforms. His work continues to shape discussions on the role of expertise and trust in digital information. Resources Mentioned: Website:  www.larrysanger.org https://encyclosphere.org Larry’s Recommended Resources: The Case for Christ, Lee Strobel Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis  www.talkaboutdoubts.com  Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Dr. Bobby Conway shares with us as he talks about his tumultuous path, describing his former lifestyle marked by addiction, self-doubt, and relentless questions about existence and morality. Despite being academically inclined and climbing the ladder of theological education, he faced severe waves of skepticism that brought him to the brink of despair and even suicidal ideation. Tune in as we hear Dr. Conway’s story from a life steeped in hedonism and skepticism to becoming a deeply committed Christian. Guest Bio:   Dr. Bobby Conway is the lead pastor of Image Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the founder of the YouTube ministry "Christianity Still Makes Sense." He holds a Master of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, a Doctor of Ministry in Apologetics from Southern Evangelical Seminary, and a PhD in Philosophy of Religion from the University of Birmingham in England. Dr. Conway has authored several books, including Does Christianity Still Make Sense? and Doubting Toward Faith. He also co-hosts the nationally syndicated radio show "Pastor’s Perspective," addressing listeners' questions about God and the Bible. Resources Mentioned: Radio Show: Pastors Perspective with Brian Broderson Christianity Still Makes Sense (Podcast and YouTube channel by Dr. Bobby Conway) Image Church https://www.imagechurch.live/ Books: "Does Christianity Still Make Sense?" by Dr. Bobby Conway “Doubting Towards Faith” by Dr. Bobby Conway “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis “Shattered Dreams” by Larry Crabb “Resurrection Refutations” by Gary Habermas Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Dr. Michael Houts is an esteemed scientist with a rich background in mechanical and nuclear engineering and advanced propulsion systems for space exploration. Dr. Houts shares his journey of growing up outside the church with a strong belief in science, questioning the limitations of naturalistic explanations, and ultimately finding belief in God through a thorough investigation of the Bible. Guest Bio: Michael Houts is a dedicated scientist whose journey began with a passion for science and engineering. He earned bachelor’s degrees in mechanical and nuclear engineering from the University of Florida and a PhD in nuclear engineering from MIT. He spent 11 years at Los Alamos National Laboratory, where he held key roles including team leader for criticality reactor and radiation physics. Now, Michael is a nuclear research manager at the Marshall Space Flight Center, working on advanced propulsion systems to boost space exploration. Resources Mentioned: Apologetics Press: https://apologeticspress.org/ Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Brian grew up in a small Georgia town where religion wasn’t part of his upbringing, though he was surrounded by churches. Angry at the concept of God, he viewed religious beliefs as a way to escape the fear of death. In high school, he became an atheist but befriended a popular group of Christians. Although he criticized their beliefs to fit in and feel superior, he couldn’t shake the sense that their faith had something genuine and authentic. Guest Bio: Brian Smith is a Student Pastor at Dunwoody Baptist Church in the Metro of Atlanta. He has been in student ministry for 16 years, and is a loving husband and father of four. Resources Mentioned: I Never Thought of It That Way by Mónica Guzmán Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis Podcast: Within Reason Alex J O’Conner God in the Dock by C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Former skeptic Henare Whaanga grew up with an ex-gang member father and a mother who was an ex-Jehovah's Witness. His father supernaturally encountered God in prison, and he took Henare with him to preach the Gospel. However, Henare became frustrated with the evangelical church's emphasis on blind faith. His questions were met with shallow responses from the church, and his belief started to crumble. Unable to find any substance in Christianity, Henare left the church, but then he stumbled upon apologetics, leading him to a deeper exploration of key questions: Did Jesus really die and rise again? Is the Bible trustworthy? Guest bio: Henare Whaanga is the Regional Director at Thinking Matters, New Zealand’s leading apologetics organization, where he works to strengthen the understanding and defense of the Christian faith. He is a devoted husband, father, lay pastor and Bible teacher.  Resources Mentioned: Frank Turek - I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist Works of Lee Strobel Works of J. Warner Wallace Eli Ayala - Revealed Apologetics Nate Sala YouTube - Wise Disciple YouTube Channel Thinking Matters: https://www.thinkingmatters.org.nz/ Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Former atheist Spencer grew up in an abusive home, and while his mother took him to church, it felt more like a manipulative act than genuine faith. Witnessing the hypocrisy of the self-proclaimed Christians around him, Spencer began reading philosophical books. He determined that Christianity, like other religions, was irrational and needed to be challenged. He often engaged in debates with Christians, attempting to liberate them by dismantling their beliefs. He eventually found Christians that not only listened to his criticisms, but helped him look for real answers to his questions. After much study, Spencer began to see Christianity and the God of the Bible in a whole new light. Guest bio: Spencer Durrenberger is a chemist in Texas, with a Bachelor’s degree in Biology and Physics from the University of Texas at Arlington. He currently works in the medical field, specializing in oncology with Humana Pathology, where he contributes to groundbreaking medical research focused on cancer. Resources Mentioned: The Gospels For History, read Luke For History from the perspective of the Law, read Matthew For Why God became Man, read Mark For The Divinity of Christ and Beauty, read John Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Kathleen grew up in a loving, immigrant household where religion wasn't a central part of her upbringing but was raised with a strong emphasis on good morals and values. In her mid-teens, Kathleen became an atheist, embracing nihilism and developing an animosity toward Christianity. Despite her elite education and achievements, she was not taught to ask deeper questions about purpose and meaning. This changed when a friend gave her a book that opened her eyes to new insights, including the concept of God as both a cosmic lawmaker and a personal deity, and her journey to Christ and understanding Christianity began. Guest Bio: Dr. Kathleen Milani is a leading Computational Biologist and specializes in cancer research. Kathleen completed her undergraduate studies in Biomedical Engineering at Columbia University, where her academic journey laid the foundation for her career as a scientist. She holds a PhD from Johns Hopkins University and is passionate about medical research. Kathleen is also a dedicated wife and mother to a one-year-old, balancing her professional achievements with the joys of family life. You can find her blog on Substack at The Reformed Gadfly Resources mentioned: John Lennox The Reasons for God Timothy Keller Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis William Lane Craig  C.S. Lewis Institute resources Connect with eX-skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: http://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic Email info: [email protected]

Growing up in a small town, religion was a constant yet subtle presence in Trevor Lancon’s community. Deeply involved in his church’s youth group, Trevor longed to grow closer to God, but he began questioning whether his experiences were authentic or merely emotional manipulation. Drawn to the freedom of a secular lifestyle, he eventually distanced himself from the church, and he embraced scientism, seeking tangible evidence of reality. He rejected Christianity and identified as an atheist, diving into a worldview centered on materialism and skepticism. From the outside, Trevor seemed to have it all—a home, a loving wife, two beautiful children, and a stable career. Yet, inwardly, he was burdened by feelings of dread and brokenness.   His journey back to faith wasn’t marked by a single dramatic moment but rather by countless small, profound experiences. Guest Bio: Trevor Lancon is a devoted father and husband and works as an engineer at a leading tech company on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. With a deep passion for STEM, Trevor holds a Master's degree in Health Physics and has a background in nuclear engineering.  Connect with eX-skeptic: Books Mentioned: The Road by Cormac McCarthy  The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel

During childhood, David Westerhoff’s faith never really extended outside of the church building. The tradition and practice of Christianity just didn’t make sense to David, and he began naturally moving with culture’s secular flow, becoming the ruler of his own life. On the surface, David’s life was unfolding perfectly; he had a loving wife, a growing family, and a steady career, but he still wasn’t content. His own internal battles and addictions threatened David’s marriage, and he began to feel a loss of control for the first time. On a night that seemed at first like any other, David felt the sudden presence of the Spirit of God, revealing the weight and gravity of his sins.  Guest Bio: David Westerhoff is a software engineer, a husband, and a father of two. David grew up in the secularized culture of northern California but moved to Georgia after marrying his wife, Megan. He spent fifteen years of his career in tech and software, but after encountering Jesus and feeling powerfully convicted in August of 2022, David immediately realized he needed to switch gears and pursue God wholeheartedly. He is now a seminary student at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, studying to obtain a Master’s in Divinity. Connect with Ex-Skeptic: Website: https://exskeptic.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/exskeptic Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/exskeptic Twitter: ​​https://x.com/exskeptic YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@exskeptic