Girls Can Tell Podcast

I share a building with 500+ people and can't remember the last time a stranger there turned into anything. Not a date, not a friend, not even a regular conversation. This week I figured out why, and it's not the building, it's not the city, it's not even really about being single. It's the same reason dating apps had to exist in the first place, and once you see it you can't stop noticing it everywhere.

My ex contacts me every three or four months. The message is always the same formula, she has something to tell me, but she never says what it is. This episode breaks down textbook avoidant behavior, why she vanished the last time I responded warmly, why she'll never acknowledge what ended us, and the uncomfortable part about why her three-month cycle is perfectly timed to the exact moment my memory finishes editing her back into someone worth answering. And yes, I'm calling it now. She'll be back in October.

Politics has become one of the biggest filters in modern dating—but I don't think politics is actually the real issue. Over the last year, I've noticed something changing on dating apps. People aren't just telling you what they believe anymore. They're telling you who they refuse to date before you even say hello. So when did politics stop being something we discussed and start becoming part of our identity? In this episode, I look at how curiosity, open-mindedness, echo chambers, and social media have changed the way we approach relationships. This isn't about picking a political side. It's about asking a much bigger question: What happens to dating when we've already decided the other side has nothing worth hearing? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Have you noticed the same thing on dating apps? Video versions of the weekly podcast are available on: YouTube Spotify And check us out on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right and tell us off anytime! 

A conversation that should have never happened made me realize something I hadn't connected before. Dating apps and matchmaking services are trying to accomplish the same thing, but they're built on completely different incentives. One depends on engagement. The other depends on successful introductions. Once you notice that difference, it's hard to stop seeing it. It's why so many people are giving up on the apps, and why I think we're getting close to the next evolution of online dating.

I did sixty episodes of this podcast without ever showing my face. Then I turned on a camera and everything changed overnight. Comments, DMs, strangers feeling like they knew me — none of it happened for fourteen months and then all of it happened at once. This episode is about why presence does something that photos and audio never can, what it means for your dating profile, and why the thirty seconds of video you haven't posted yet might be the only thing standing between you and a connection. Video versions of the weekly podcast are available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right.

I've finally had it. This one's a little different. Shirtless showdowns, pickleball pansies, Wimbledon-level tennis jags on a public court, scooter shits, absurdly loud cars, and industrial-strength playground blunts. Tune in for a completely reasonable and measured discussion. Obviously. Video versions of the weekly podcast are always available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right.

Most people on dating apps can answer a question. Almost nobody can actually play. This episode is about the difference and why it's the only thing I'm still looking for. Video versions of the weekly podcast are always available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right.

She was smart, funny, attractive, and easy to talk to. Days of genuine connection that felt like something real. And then she mentioned something that changed everything. This episode is about the information people strategically withhold in early dating, the specific details that would change everything for the other person if disclosed upfront. Some of it is serious, some of it is ridiculous, and all of it is real. Things that belong in your bio but somehow never make it there. Video versions of the weekly podcast are always available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right. .

In this episode, I get uncomfortably honest about my high standards and how often they’re just an excuse. I talk about fast dismissals on the apps, the fear that no one would actually want the full version of me, and the difference between protecting your time and protecting yourself from judgement. If you’ve ever wondered if you’re picky, or just afraid to find out, this one’s for you. Video versions of the weekly podcast are always available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right.

What would you do if a stranger on a dark empty street started telling you what you had for breakfast, your sister's name, your favorite color, things they have no business knowing? That feeling is a version of something happening in dating right now. Someone already has a file on you before you've said a word. They've googled you, stalked your socials, or got the full briefing from a mutual friend. They know you, while you know nothing about them. This episode is about what that information gap actually does to connection, and why being known by a stranger is one of the strangest and most overlooked dynamics in modern dating. Video versions of the weekly podcast are always available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right.

Dating profiles are full of women who've been to 44 countries, have eight trips booked this year, mention travel in their bio four times, and have a detailed list of demands for a partner. Loyalty, presence, consistency, and someone who shows up. This episode is about that contradiction, what travel obsession says in a dating profile, what the relationship you'd be signing up for looks like, and why the person with the most stamps in their passport is often the least equipped to build something real with another person. After living through what that does to a relationship firsthand, I have some things to say about this that you might not like, but you need to hear. Video versions of the weekly podcast are always available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right. 

Most people believe that jealousy indicates something is wrong with them, that secure, emotionally healthy individuals don't experience it, and the goal is to move past it entirely. This episode argues the other side. Jealousy isn't some character flaw, and dismissing it because someone convinced you that the feeling itself was the problem might be the most costly mistake you make in a relationship. This episode explains the two kinds of jealousy, and one of them is telling you something you should probably listen to. I call bullshit on people in open relationships, and discuss what it means when jealousy happens at inappropriate times, and how it can ruin your chances of dating. If you're one of the 8.3 billion people on the planet who've ever been jealous, this one's for your listening pleasure. Video versions of the weekly podcast are always available on: YouTube Spotify And often on: Tiktok Instagram Facebook X Make sure to follow us while you’re there. Go to the website and leave us a voicemail Click the microphone button on the lower right.

We start with a listener voicemail about something she couldn't stop doing even though she could see it happening. She'd been telling herself she'd get serious about dating again once she reached a goal. Then, when she reached it, instead of dating, she just set another goal. Sound familiar? This episode explains why some of us keep moving the finish line and how to stop doing it. 

A few months ago, I ran an episode of this podcast that was, let's say, different...and nobody noticed. This episode is about what technology means for dating, podcasts, and the voicemail sitting on your phone right now. Do you think you can tell what's real and what isn't? 

The profiles have gotten worse. Not slightly, significantly. The Instagram handle in the serious relationship bio. The wrong age that somehow always gets entered younger. The AI bio with the em dashes in it. The skyline that doesn't exist. The woman who liked you first and spent the conversation taking shots at you. This episode is about what all of it actually signals, because someone is always paying attention, even when you think they're not.

In this episode, I share the conversation that almost never happened: a rematch with a clear political filter that put me in the ‘no’ category. She pushed past it anyway, and what unfolded forced me to confront my own label-based shortcuts, like the flight attendant rule and almost swiping left on someone 20 miles away in Chicago’s brutal traffic. We explore the difference between healthy behavior filters and dangerous assumptions, the invisible cost of missed connections, and how to ask better questions before we decide who someone is.

You're still on the apps. Still swiping and responding. But something shifted and you know it. The curiosity and patience is gone. You're dismissing people in thirty seconds over things that don't mean anything, and calling it standards. It's burnout. And the problem with staying on the apps when you're already this depleted is that something good could show up right now and you probably wouldn't recognize it.

Being alone can feel peaceful, until something reminds you what connection actually feels like. This episode explores the difference between being okay alone and getting used to it.

Episode 50. One year. I didn't think this show would go this far. Today, I'm just sharing what solo podcasting has been like, what I got wrong, what kept me going, and where the Girls Can Tell Podcast stands after a year. I want to thank you personally for listening every week. We almost didn't make it some weeks, but we kept on truckin' thanks to your support.  Trent & Holly🦮

Most people assume the rules protect them. Until the day they realize rules only matter when someone has the power to enforce them. This episode is about the moment you realize the world doesn’t operate the way you were told it does.

"I’m not ready” sounds mature, responsible, and self-aware. But what if it’s just a softer way of saying no? In this episode, I unpack what readiness actually means, when waiting is wise, when it’s avoidance, and why nobody ever reaches a point of being fully healed before love.

Ask anyone why their last relationship ended and you’ll hear a very confident story. The problem is, most of those stories aren’t accurate. This episode breaks down how and why breakups get rewritten over time, why nobody thinks they were the problem, and how that mindset will completely wreck future relationships.

Everyone thinks dating success comes down to chemistry, texting, or what you say on the date. Most second dates are lost long before the conversation even matters. In this episode, we’re talking about the small, brutally simple things people notice instantly (like hygiene, presentation, manners, effort) and why skipping them silently kills attraction before you ever get a real chance. 

Dating apps didn't stop working because you got older, they stopped working because they were redesigned not to work. The apps realized their most profitable users are the ones who never succeed. This episode breaks down how dating apps shifted from helping you find someone to keeping you just hopeful enough to stay, why the pool is now full of the emotionally unavailable, and why you keep blaming yourself for a system that was never designed for you to win.

When you start dating someone who is emotionally available, it can feel…off. There’s no anxiety, no guessing, and no emotional rollercoaster. They text you back, show up, and don’t disappear. And somehow that can feel less exciting than someone who’s inconsistent, grieving, or still emotionally attached to their past. In this episode, we break down why emotionally healthy people often don't feel as exhilarating at first, why emotionally unavailable people feel magnetic, and how your nervous system confuses mayhem with chemistry. If you’ve ever felt more drawn to someone who couldn’t fully show up than someone who could, this episode will explain exactly why, and what it means for the kind of relationship you’re actually building.

The psychology behind why dating feels worst on Sunday nights, why you miss your ex when you’re tired, and how emotional exhaustion makes your brain lie about your future.

Americans think dating is hard everywhere. It's not. The way we do it, app-driven, hyper-individualistic, like a never-ending job interview, is an outlier. This episode compares how dating works in France, Japan, and Denmark, then breaks down what Americans are getting wrong and what we can learn from cultures that make connection less exhausting and more human.

Going back to an ex feels like skipping the line. You already know each other, you have history, and starting over sounds exhausting. But research shows that on-again, off-again relationships usually increase stress, conflict, and dissatisfaction. This episode breaks down when a second chance can work, and when you're just yearning the familiar past.

In the Season 3 opener, we're going to upset some listeners as we discuss how, when someone says they’re “still friends” with their ex, it often means the relationship never fully ended. We explore emotional proximity, unfinished attachment, and why staying close to an ex quietly sabotages new relationships, even if no one wants to admit it.

Trent talks about what’s really going on behind those perfect couple posts, shares his experience staying way too long in an abusive relationship, and explains why sometimes being alone might actually be the win.

There’s a point where dating apps stop feeling hopeful and start feeling heavy. In this episode, Trent talks about dating while tired. When you still want connection, but don’t have the energy to keep auditioning for one. From app burnout and inbox math to why effort no longer scales the way it used to, this episode is about protecting your energy without giving up on love entirely. If you’ve ever seen a “someone liked you” notification and felt absolutely nothing, you’re not alone.

Resetting your profile sounds like a hack. Sometimes it’s just replaying the same disappointment. Here’s what the algorithm is doing, when resets help, when they tank you, and the real strategy that gets you seen.

This episode explains why the dating pool feels smaller than ever, what happens when you have to be better than someone's already good life, and how to handle an age gap in relationships. Plus, a related listener question about dating younger women.

Dating apps promised unlimited options. Instead, most of us got ghosting, burnout, and five half-assed chats at once. This week, we're getting deep into why good people can’t focus on one person, and how choice overload means you’re always one swipe away from being replaced. It's not something you're going to want to miss. 

Ever wonder why we only recognize the best moments after they’ve slipped by? This episode dives into the ache of missing wonderful chapters, even as you’re living them. From leaving behind messy apartments and old relationships to the science of nostalgia, regret, and derealization. It’s all about why we struggle to notice the good stuff when it’s right in front of us, and how to start being present before it’s too late.

How do you see yourself, and how do others see you? One summer, everything changed for me on the outside. On the inside? Not so much. This episode explores why we never really feel like we fit, even when the world says we do. If you’ve ever felt like you’re faking it, this one’s for you.

I’ve been living in a hotel with my dog, Holly. Not on vacation, but stuck between homes, routines, and tourists in the elevator.  This week, I discuss holding it together when nothing feels familiar while pretending everything is fine on the air. I’m also realizing that "boring" might have been the best phase all along. 

A quick detour before the next full episode drops. These are the moments listeners keep messaging me about. The parts where I apparently said something honest enough that it stuck. If you’re new, this is a good place to start. If you’ve been here since the beginning, thanks for staying.

Usefulish is all about the weird threads between the past and the present. The outdated customs, bizarre social rules, and how none of us are as evolved as we think. This is another show I created and I think it fits with the current Girls Can Tell vibe. Curiosity, psychology, and how humans are the way humans have always been. 

My dating app screening process filters out 98% of matches before the first date, and has a 100% success rate with those who make it through. And, no, it's not for sale. I'll take you from swipes to relationships, how I protect my time and why being picky at 50 is so important. 15 minutes on the reality of dating when you know what you want.

AI isn't "just a tool" anymore. And soon, you will be. We lay out the phases from helpful assistant to human obsolescence, why every job's vulnerable, why the experts are full of shit, and what you can do about it now. This is a 20 minute wake-up call you can't afford to miss. Seriously, I don't know why you're even still reading this, go listen! 

This is a replay of one of the most popular episodes from days gone by on girls can tell, because episode 27 is taking a considerable amount of time because there's a lot of research going into it. It's going to be an extra important, extra long, action-packed episode and everything you ever dreamed a podcast could be, and almost too much, quite frankly. You might never listen to another podcast again after hearing it, which is next Tuesday. This Tuesday, we're going to listen back to a classic, 608 Yous. I hope you're sitting down.

People claim to be open-minded, but try to change their opinion on something, and you'll see the walls come up. Whether it's about relationships or a bad habit, resistance to change is strong. In this episode, we talk about 10 harsh truths about why our brains resist change so fiercely. Confirmation bias, identity threats, and the agony of admitting we're wrong, we'll explain why facts aren’t enough to change your mind. Do you think you can change someone's mind? Do you think YOU can change your mind? Listen now, question everything, thank me later.

In this episode, I get into the truth about broken trust, can you actually rebuild it, or is it gone forever? Whether it's relationships, family, or shady bosses, I break down what happens when trust is lost and why most people want the quick fix instead of doing the work. Can trust can come back under the right conditions? Maybe, but almost nobody’s willing to do what it actually takes to get there. Do you even want to rebuild it, or is walking away the smarter move? We'll try and straighten it all out for you. 

A listener named Bethany reached out to us. She has been considering starting a podcast for months. She has the name, the microphone, and the concept, but she hasn’t recorded anything yet. She's afraid it won’t be good enough. Does this sound familiar? This episode is for Bethany and everyone else stuck in the perfectionism, procrastination, paralysis loop. If you have an idea you haven’t acted on, or a project that’s been on your mind, and all you can think is, what if I do it, and it sucks? You'll want to have a seat, we're going to help you take the first step. Because the only way to be good at something is to be bad at it first. It's time to get the bad over with. 

Turns out, those feel-good pieces of advice we've probably all given are nothing but lies. In this episode, we'll tackle 10 classic pieces of bad advice and explain why they keep people broke, stuck, single or miserable. You’ve heard them all, now hear why they're all wrong.

You’ve heard these phrases your whole life. But have you ever stopped to ask what the hell they actually mean? In this episode, we look at the bizarre origins of saying like, kick the bucket, riding shotgun, bite the bullet, and, you can take that to the bank! Because since we keep saying this shit as if it makes sense, maybe we should find out what they actually mean. I got you! 

Girls Can Tell returns for season 2 with a quick update on what’s been happening and what’s coming next.  Think of season two as sharper, meaner, and more uncomfortably honest episodes than ever before.

You’re not ghosting, chasing, or spiraling because someone didn’t text back in three hours. So, what the hell is wrong with you? Well, you just might be securely attached! In the final part of our attachment style series, we’re describing what secure attachment actually looks like, how it’s built, and why it makes dating easier and a little less thrilling when you’re used to things being crazy. If you wonder whether you’re healthy or detached, we'll help you differentiate between the two. 

Trick question, I made it up. However, it sounds like a nicer way of saying 'anxiously attached.'  In part two of our series, we delve into the chasers, the nervous ones, and explain where this wiring originates. Explore how and why it disrupts relationships and discover ways to break the cycle. Whether you're the anxious one or your partner is, we all know someone anxious, and this episode will give you some things you can use today to improve your relationship.