Girlscamp

Abigail Porter, better known online as "The Girl with the List," joins me to talk about deconstructing motherhood—especially after growing up Mormon. We discuss the messages society and religion often send women about motherhood as their highest purpose, and how Abigail unpacked those beliefs to arrive at her decision to be child-free.  She also shares what she loves about the child-free life, the pushback she's received for speaking openly about her decision online, and the misconceptions women without children often face. Along the way, we explore her viral "List," reproductive autonomy, and what it looks like to choose a different path than the one you were always told you were supposed to want. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. REFERENCES Abigail’s Instagram Abigail’s TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've been meaning to tell this story for a long time. This is my infertility journey that ultimately led to the birth of my now four-year-old twin daughters. We cover the practical side: infertility treatments, my endometriosis diagnosis, and why we decided to transfer two embryos. But I also get into the parts that are harder to talk about: how infertility shook my Mormon faith, made me question God, and forced me to untangle so much of my identity and worth as a woman. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I recruited Bentley to answer some "boyfriend questions," and our conversation ended up in some unexpected places. We discuss our death row meals, where we'd look for each other if we went missing for 24 hours, our stolen catalytic converter, how we're settling into life in our new LA rental, a little relationship check-in, and plenty of other tangents along the way. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there's one thing to say about Mormonism, it's that it's distinctly American. My Mormon deconstruction both mirrored and informed my deconstruction of American exceptionalism. In honor of America's 250th anniversary, I'm breaking down how I feel about this country now, the ways Mormonism shaped my view of America, and what it was like to untangle the two. Everyone who signs up to my giveaway wins either a free WhisperVibe™ or a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTech™ purchase! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast#bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm annoyed! By a creator freaking out that Toy Story spotlighted Jessie over Woody and Buzz, for starters, and by a lot of other things too. I had you write in what you're annoyed about, and we've got a great lineup of grievances: in-laws acting weird, returned Mormon missionaries being presumptuous, parents letting their kids go crazy, influencers filming themselves walking, and more. Some I agree with, some I'm torn about. Can't wait to discuss. The Toy Story Instagram post Robin Morgan TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this catch-up episode, I'm sharing some shifts in my perspectives I've been noticing after our first month in LA. Then we jump into a little bit of everything: the ethics of porn, a racist comment recently made by a Mormon general authority, Jen Affleck's fourth pregnancy announcement, a few thoughts on Love Island, and what has struck me about the way Utah Mormon adults socialize compared to almost everyone else. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In honor of Pride Month, I’m reading your stories of when queerness and religion collide. There are stories of finding love despite church community pushback, first crushes, forbidden feelings, queer awakenings, and figuring yourself out in religious spaces. There are also a lot of girls kissing girls: mission companions, YSA ward friends, and fellow campers at Girls’ Camp. We love to see it. And we love love 🏳️‍🌈 Conversion Therapy to Drag Diva episode with Meredith Peterson Sister Missionaries Turned Lovers episode EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway with @bellesaco will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their order!  https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When I saw this theory in my comment section this week, my interest was immediately piqued: what if Jesus was queer? While we don't have enough evidence to know for sure, this theory led me down some very interesting rabbit holes and thought lanes that I'm excited to travel again with you. Then I share some updates: a life-changing Korean spa experience in the nude, my new love for a very specific coffee drink, and how things are feeling in California. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-proclaimed OCDiva Jane Beeson joins me today to talk about experiencing religious OCD inside Mormonism. We discuss the ways Mormonism fueled the OCD fire, as well as the beliefs, language, and values she's had to unpack since leaving the church and beginning her OCD recovery journey. You can find Jane on Instagram, TikTok and Spotify. Reclaim your faith with NOCD. Book a free 15 minute call here to get started. Use code HAYLEY20 for 20% off your order at Earlybird. Join the Girlscamp: Unplugged account at https://www.patreon.com/c/Girlscamp For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram @girlscamppodcast & TikTok @hayleyrawle. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No better person to break down the weird world of Mormon rules with than Alyssa Grenfell. Alyssa and I dive into everything from coffee and garments to rated-R movies, gender roles, and ear piercings, unpacking what these rules say about Mormonism, where they came from, and how they've changed over time. Alyssa shares what kind of rule follower she was, the Mormon rules she thinks are most likely to change next, and why some rules seem to matter more than others. Mormonism doesn't rule... but it definitely has a lot of rules. Alyssa’s first Girlscamp episode Church Instagram post about man supporting his wife as a doctor Alyssa on YouTube Alyssa on Instagram Alyssa on TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the title suggests, today I'm spilling my guts. There's been a lot going on in my life—and in my brain—and it felt good to sit down and talk through some of it. We're chatting about a surprising first-time club experience in LA, some behind-the-scenes on a couple upcoming interviews, more beef with Mormon apologists, an addition to the crazy moving lore, and all the ways I'm starting to feel like a new person. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I thought my move was chaotic, but it's got nothing on some of your moving stories. We're talking about everything that can (and did) go wrong during a move, plus a few surprisingly sweet stories of things going unexpectedly right. Lost keys, missing washboards, dead pet fish, sick children... and a little moving magic. U-Haul, sponsor us? The Astronaut Driving Cross-Country in Diapers story Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Moving IS hell, but LA is feeling pretty heavenly so far! Today I’m telling you the good, the bad and the ugly of packing up our whole life in Utah and trekking out to our new life in California.  It’s been good exposure therapy for my control/perfectionist side and a good opportunity to reflect on life, transitions and what I really want out of it all. We’re also talking the weird limbo zone of moving, saying goodbye to friends and family and why our dirty little rental in Atwater already feels like home. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibeTM OR a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTM order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast Love Trapped podcast All Fours by Miranda July Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wow. Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke was quite the ride and, for many women raised in conservative Christian culture (like me!), a disturbingly familiar one. Today I’m recapping the book, but even more so unpacking the themes underneath it: womanhood, motherhood, toxic masculinity, performance, privacy, religion, and influencer culture. I also tackle the question everyone seems to be asking: who exactly is this story inspired by? Hannah Neeleman? Ruby Franke? Something more general? Or something else entirely? You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Detroit native Alley Bird comes to Girlscamp to talk about her experience growing up as a Black Mormon girl, learning about the priesthood ban in seminary as a teenager, and later experiencing colorism on her mission in El Salvador. We talk about the health (or lack thereof) of sister missionaries, the resources (or lack thereof) for Black missionaries facing racism, and the unique culture surrounding Mormon missions. Alley also shares about her brief stint as a Temple Square Visitors’ Center missionary during Covid. You can find Alley on TikTok here and on Instagram here. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s been 10 years since our Mormon temple wedding at 20 and 21. Today Bentley and I are reflecting on young marriage, navigating faith deconstruction as a couple, the advice we’d give our younger selves, and whether we’d do it all over again. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s guest Ash Santos always dreamed outside the Mormon box. After an early marriage and becoming a mom young, she landed her first big break on American Horror Story. She later deconstructed her faith and then her marriage. And after years of fighting for the life she actually wanted, she’s now in a lead role as Andrea Cruz on the CBS hit series Marshals. Amber Fillerup Girlscamp episode Ash Santos on Instagram Marshals on CBS Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re doing a bread-and-butter Girlscamp submission episode today: church mission stories. We’re chatting about crazy (and sometimes dangerous) companions, bizarre proselytizing run-ins, and what happens when you tell the Mormon missionaries you don’t believe in Joseph Smith. Come along for the ride! Crazy Mormon Mission Stories episode STALKED on a Mormon Mission episode Sister Missionary Snapchat ad Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve got much to discuss about Netflix’s new docuseries Trust Me: The False Prophet. Watching it, I was surprised by how familiar parts of it felt. In this episode I talk through the parallels and patterns I noticed between the Samuelites, the FLDS, and mainstream Mormonism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re catching up. I’ve got some life updates, big and small, to talk through with you. And, per usual, lots of thoughts and feelings about all of them. Vagus Nerve Exercises card deck Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chief Mary Murdock Meyer joins Girlscamp to share the history of the Timpanogos Nation, especially where it intersects with Mormon settlement in what we now call Utah. She talks about what life looked like for her people before 1847, what changed after Mormon settlers arrived, and how that history still shapes the Timpanogos Nation. We also talk about what those of us with Utah pioneer ancestry can better understand about how to engage with this history now. Petition to rescind extermination order The Timpanogos Nation website You can follow the Timpanogos Nation on InstagramFacebookYoutubeSubstackPatreon Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking all things Easter this week! First on the agenda: why are Mormons suddenly celebrating Holy Week? Since when was Palm Sunday a thing? Then we get into resurrection theology, fear of death, and what it looks like to celebrate Easter after religion. You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Instead of asking ourselves “What Would Jesus Do?”, today we’re asking: What Would Hayley Do? I’m responding to your submitted dilemmas, talking through how useful the WWJD framework actually is as a decision-making tool, and (for fun) applying that question to some Mormon internet apologists… which doesn’t exactly go great for them. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tiffany grew up in a plural marriage family within a fundamentalist Mormon group, the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB). Her mom was a fourth wife and later (after a divorce) a sixth. As a teenager, she began questioning and ultimately left the principle of polygamy, joining mainstream Mormonism and getting married. When both her faith and her marriage later unraveled, Tiffany had to start over and begin building a life on her own terms. REFERENCES “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft “It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People” By Ramani Durvasula PhD Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Season 4 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is here and you know I have THOUGHTS. In this SLOMW Season 4 recap, I’m breaking down the DadTok attempted takeover (and what it says about Mormon male culture), that wild “honor your mother” moment between Liann and Taylor Frankie Paul, what Mayci’s husband said about the priesthood, and the moment Harry Jowsey thought polygamy was a person. As an ex-Mormon, I have a lot to say and a lot of feelings, so buckle up for some ranting. “Codependent No More(Mon)” Episode YouTube “Codependent No More(Mon)” Episode Interview with Chase McWhorter Interview with Jessi Draper Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve been swept up in the energy of the Year of the Fire Horse, but realized I didn’t really know what it was all about. So today we’re deep diving the Chinese zodiac and what this fiery horse year is supposed to bring. I also talk about if (and how) I engage with belief systems like this now that I’m post-religion. Giddy up!  BBC on the Chinese Zodiac race The YouTube video on time Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got David Archuleta! From the pressure of being Mormonism’s golden boy after American Idol to embracing his sexuality and learning to trust himself, David opens up about the long road that led him to step away from Mormonism and into a whole new chapter of life. David’s book Devout David on Instagram David on TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Round two of your church dating stories is here! I’m equal parts entertained and concerned for all of us. These range from awkward to chaotic to maddening. If you survived church dating culture, you’re among friends here at Girlscamp.  REFERENCES  “What’s REALLY going on at BYU?” podcast “What’s REALLY going at BYU?” YouTube Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you stay Mormon if you don’t actually believe it? Jessica Paige identifies as a secular Mormon and joins me to talk about why she stays, how she defines that label and what it actually looks like to participate in Mormon life without belief. You can find Jessica on TikTok here. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Crazy church dating stories incoming! We’re talking condescending Mormon men, purity culture weirdness and the intense marriage focus in high-demand religions. More specifically: Shrek cosplay YouTube videos, a family who spiritually communicates with dragons and a Mormon guy who’s a little TOO into Harry Potter. In-N-Out at midnight TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m diving into the Mormon POV on Mother Mary. And beyond some very ahem interesting doctrinal points (see the title), Mary opens up a much bigger conversation about virginity and virtue, the physical nature of the Mormon God, and the absence of any real female divinity in LDS theology. Mary, the Mother of Jesus (according to TCOJCOLDS) FAIR Latter Day Saints on Mary The Guardian Article Mormon Research Ministry Article on Mary Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Benny grew up feeling like something about him was “wrong.” After pushing through the Mormon path—full-time mission, BYU education—he eventually came out and began learning how to love himself for who he is. With his expertise in gender and sexuality, we talk about Mormon manhood, coming out at BYU, his continued fascination with deep-cut LDS doctrine, and how he’s embracing new forms of spirituality today. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I consumed a lot of Mormon and Mormon-adjacent media this week: Heather Gay’s Surviving Mormonism, Elizabeth Smart’s new documentary Kidnapped and Jennette McCurdy’s latest novel Half His Age. As you can imagine, I’ve got thoughts! We get into purity culture and sex, what it means to face the very worst of Mormonism, and where the bounds of “religious freedom” really are. And I also end up sharing a heavy family conversation I had this week about immigration enforcement and just how intense everything feels right now. You can find the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Three years later, I’m revisiting the question that kicked off the whole Girlscamp podcast. I talk about how my answer to why I left the Mormon church has evolved, and reflect on how this podcast has helped shape me. Here’s to three more years!  The first Girlscamp episode Russell M. Nelson quote on the historicity of the Book of Mormon The Trevor Project Utah LGBTQ+ mental health statistics Sober Mormon TikTok post Tishmal “Leaving for Love” episode YouTube Tishmal “Leaving for Love” episode Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m resurrecting the campfire chat ✝️ and diving into your thoughts and questions. We end up covering a lot of ground: Mormon adult infantilization, mixed-faith extended family dynamics, learning to trust yourself after high-demand religion, threesome thoughts, and more. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. THRIVE Conference- St. George 2026 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“The most tragic episode in the history of the Church,” according to the Mormon Church’s own website, is the Mountain Meadows Massacre. In this episode, we talk about the violence carried out by early Mormons at Mountain Meadows, what was deliberately covered up, and how to reckon with that history now—especially after leaving the church. We dig into the social and political tensions between Mormons in the Utah Territory and the federal government, the complex relationships with the Paiute people, and the fact that Mormon headquarters still isn’t fully addressing the elephant in the room. You can listen to the entire episode at the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Though we both left Mormonism, Ash and I ended up in very different spiritual places. We talk about the tension between my skepticism and her mysticism, what New Age spirituality looks like in her everyday life, and the meaning it brings her. We also talk about her family’s move to Missouri to prepare for the Mormon Second Coming, and how that has shaped her worldview. Tune in for a dose of Ash magic ✨ Ash's Instagram Ash's Patreon account Ash's first Girlscamp episode Head to MarleySpoon.com/offer/GIRLSCAMP for up to 25 free meals Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This year was a big one for internal change. I’m sharing what I’ve changed my mind about in 2025 — my relationship with Mormonism, how I feel about Jesus, and what I now think counts as grounds for divorce. Then I’m reading your mind-changes, from something as small as eating kiwi skin to something as big as a 180 on political beliefs. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In light of senior Mormon apostle Jeffrey R. Holland’s passing, we’re sitting down to take a real look at his life and legacy. He shaped so many of us in our Mormonism (and influenced many of our exits, too). He was my former favorite apostle, and I still have lines he said memorized. Those lines ring very differently now. Let’s get into it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I get to be the Catholic priest. I’m reading your end-of-year confessions: marriage woes, smut enjoyment, religious indoctrination worries, and getting freaky at BYU. I also unpack my thoughts on the uproar over John Dehlin’s comments about his Mormonism, and whether I think I’m more ethical than practicing Mormons. Tommy Johnson’s reel about John Dehlin Terry real Instagram Zoomie (the girl with the list) TikTok account Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No better time than Christmas to take a look at who Jesus really was. This episode is a deep dive into the historical Jesus—what we know, what we don’t, and how the story evolved over time. I ended up liking Jesus (the real guy) a lot more by the end of this. So, merry Christmas to that 🥂Yale Professor lecture “The Historical Jesus” Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have some catching up to do! I’m getting into some ✨off the main feed ✨ topics today: an interaction with a couple moms from my kid’s extracurriculars, BTS from the Chase McWhorter episode, Christmas-time mom guilt, more about my grief journey and how I feel about people who go to church just for the community. See you there! You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chase McWhorter, of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, comes to Girlscamp today to talk about his Mormon upbringing, sex shame and taking accountability for his recently revealed DUI charge. We dig into the context behind his choices (spoiler: it's mostly Mormon!) and the ripple effects they’ve had. We talk about what rebuilding looks like—as a man, a dad, and in his spiritual identity. Chase on The Weekly Trash with Josie Van Dyke Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Only a few weeks off social media and this bitch has stories to tell. Today I’m talking about my scrolling addiction and the moment I realized enough was enough. Then we’ll catch up while I read through your submissions and questions ❤️ Episode with Amy McPhie Allebest Podcast Episode with Amy McPhie Allebest YouTube Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari Dopamine Nation by Dr Anna Lembke The Push by Ashley Audrain No Nonsense Spirituality by Brittney Hartley Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would the story of Jesus look like if he had a wife? That’s the thought experiment Sue Monk Kidd takes on in The Book of Longings, told from the perspective of Jesus’s fictional wife, Ana. This book healed some of my Jesus trauma and helped me put words to my new kind of spirituality. It opened up conversations about the silencing of women's voices, patriarchy and power, motherhood, spiritual identity, and what autonomy and independence can look like within a marriage. You can listen to the whole episode at the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there’s one thing we’re going to do at Girlscamp, it’s talk about Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Season 3 cracked open so many conversations: toxic masculinity in patriarchal marriages, the complexity of progressive Mormonism, racism in the Book of Mormon, and intimacy issues born from purity culture. Let’s get into it. REFERENCES Jessi on Girlscamp: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3MrrfYJz5MA12g2C5tW4Fn?si=rZoTRFB4Qqqg8vLeVX4dyg Jessi on Girlscamp YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yZSxCXrDxs Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Author of the viral 2016 essay Dear Mormon Man, Amy McPhie Allebest joins me to talk all things feminism in and beyond a patriarchal faith tradition. We get into how deeply patriarchy is baked into Mormonism and the wider world, why recent shifts in the church’s treatment of women can feel more harmful than helpful, and how to uproot patriarchal thinking in ourselves and our communities. We wrap with a conversation on intersectional feminism and how to keep deconstructing beyond white feminism. "Dear Mormon Man" Essay Breaking Down Patriarchy on YouTube Breaking Down Patriarchy on Instagram Breaking Down Patriarchy Podcast Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sunday check-in time! I’m answering your write-ins about everything from people-pleasing and workplace self-doubt to holiday gift-giving dread, grounds for divorce, and the rage of watching Mormon rule changes get retroactively gaslit (i.e. "it was never about modesty"). We also get into financial control in relationships, mixed-faith dating, the SLOMW season 3 men, and… whether I’ve ever been to a strip club. It’s a juicy one and feels so nice to catch up. You can listen to the full episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s a full-blown Mormon reality TV takeover happening! This week, Madi Murphy-West of The Bad Broadcast joins me to break down why public fascination with Mormonism keeps growing and why it translates so well to the reality TV format. We get into Utah’s pipeline feeding Dancing With the Stars, our predictions for Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season 3, and our thoughts on Taylor Frankie Paul as the new Bachelorette. BYU article about Hailey Bills Alyssa Grenfell’s video on ballroom and Utah/Mormonism Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's spookier than talking about religion? Talking about politics. 👻 So let's dive right in. This week, I'm not just sharing my political opinions (though I do a bit of that)—I'm talking about talking about politics: why it feels like such a landmine, whether it’s even productive, and how I try to navigate it all. Correction: In this episode, I mistakenly said that Donald Trump was convicted of sexual assault. He has not been criminally convicted; a civil jury found him liable for sexual abuse and defamation in the E. Jean Carroll case. Another note: The government shutdown wasn’t completely Trump’s fault, but the bill written by Republicans — and backed by the White House — left out the health insurance subsidies Democrats wanted, which made a shutdown much more likely. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account ⁠⁠here⁠ for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠. For ad inquiries please email [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices