Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed
by Uxbridge-Shimoda LLC
The unofficial, irreverent and filthy aftershow for all the new Star Trek television: Discovery, Picard, Lower Decks, Short Treks, Prodigy, Strange New Worlds, and anything else they throw at us. Each Friday after a new episode of Star Trek, Adam and Ben recap, review and roast all the New Trek. Check out our other show, The Greatest Generation, a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast!
Episodes
-
Zero-Sum Ick Game (TOS S2E1)
When Spock starts going crazy and demands his leave on Vulcan, a facetime with T’Pring puts his horny situation on main. But after things get messy at the koon-ut-kal-if-fee ritual, Kirk‘s fake death is enough to free Spock from the drama. What’s the limiting factor for more soup on the wall? Who...
-
Legit-ler (Film Fest: The Frighteners 1996)
When a ghostly force is terrorizing the town of Fairwater, a traumatized con man starts using his paranormal abilities to investigate. But after an FBI agent with an unfortunate haircut shows up, the ghost of a serial murderer past is finally brought to justice. What’s the primary issue with…
more -
Sexual Three Percenter (Film Fest: From Beyond 1986)
When Dr. Tillinghast proves his boss’s theory, their experiment results in a gruesome murder. But after Pretorius comes back from another dimension, their overnight stay turns into a nightmare. How does one keep professional opportunities open in LA? What's a sure sign of a sexual militia? Where...
-
Bonus Preview: Head n’ Feeled (Film Fest: Halloween 1978 with Chuck Bryant)
When Dr. Loomis fumbles a high stakes mental patient transfer, he’ll go on as many laid back strolls as it will take to hunt down the escapee. But when Michael Myers starts having a little too much fun, it’ll lead Loomis right to him. Is hair combing a post or pre-coitus activity? When’s the last...
-
Horrorible (Film Fest: Doctor Mordrid 1992)
When a pair of sorcerer brothers are locked in an age-old battle, bad boy Kabal escapes from the castle prison with a mission to conquer Earth. But after a special pendant implicates Doctor Mordrid in a murder investigation, his lady neighbor breaks him out of police custody just in time to save...
-
Too Much Teeth (Film Fest: Castle Freak 1995)
When John Reilly brings his wife and daughter to Italy to take possession of a distant relative’s castle, it all seems a little too good to be true. But when John’s personal demons become more and more apparent, it’s clear that those aren’t the only monsters he’ll have to wrestle with. What’s the...
-
Dick Berman (Film Fest: Re-Animator 1985)
When Dr. West transfers medical schools, he finds himself entrenched in some pretty significant disagreements with the faculty there. But after his roommate gets his student loans revoked and his professor dies, their desperation has them pushing past the side effects of their research. Can we…
more -
Time Travel Bladder (SNW S4E10)
When Uhura picks up a mysterious comms signal from future herself, a time travel adventure kicks off and her two selves have to work together to save Scotty. But after P’Uhura ends up on the F’Enterprise and F’Uhura ends up on the P’Enterprise, going hands-on with a space vagina is the only way…
more -
Who Gives A Shit Porcelain (SNW S4E9)
When it’s La’an’s turn to deal with some heavy emotional shit, a magical flat planet full of doppelgängers is where the story will play out. But after a couple of fairytale characters try to take over the iron dragon, La’an reunites her light and dark selves and the evil queen gets beamed…
more -
Back-of-Head Racism (SNW S4E8)
When Captain Pike is on an away mission and Admiral Reeger swoops in to commandeer the Enterprise, it's to everyone's surprise when they find themselves caught in a Crimson Tide scenario. But after Asha starts turning into a massive Swarovski paperweight, Pike tries to negotiate with a nameless...
-
A Thousand Cliffs (SNW S4E7)
When Trelane’s final project involves casting the crew into a soap opera, Captain Pike not inhabiting his role puts the great human experiment at risk. But after the dramas play out and the proctor declares humans interesting, the crew is released to pick back up with their own internal…
more -
Dick Obliterated (SNW S4E6)
When the Entrepreneur is pulled into a slipstream wormhole, Dr. M’Benga becomes Dr. Table and Nurse Chapel disobeys a direct order to stay by his side. But after the neutrinos bombarding the ship turn out to be just what the Doctor ordered, Scotty gets his origin story as a miracle worker and…
more -
Sentient Bar Rag (SNW S4E5)
When Scotty tries to go for the record with Little Ricky, Spock watches from a shuttle as the transporter experiment turns everyone on the ship into puppets. But after an Orion pirate ship arrives to take advantage of the situation, Spock and T’Pring reconnect over logic before realizing it was…
more -
Two Ving (SNW S4E4)
When Una’s first away mission as commander almost gets her caught inside Klingon space, the away team ditches the shuttle on an occupied planet and they get dressed up to try to lay low. But after she’s recognized for someone whose alliances aren’t black and white, Una can’t end the mission…
more -
Green Lotus (SNW S4E3)
When the crew needs a break before an important diplomatic mission, Alpha shift takes a shuttle down to a trippy resort planet. But after the atmosphere starts making everyone’s journey a little weird, Ortegas and Scotty get the crew back together in time for a grand diplomatic gesture. In what…
more -
Deads In The Beds (SNW S4E2)
When Kirk, Spock, and La'An discover the long-lost USS Griffin on their way home from a conference, they decide to take a little detour to check out the ship. But after things become mysterious and spooky, the trio becomes all together ooky and they need rescuing. Is Kirk a Family Guy? What are…
more -
Dinonetics (SNW S4E1 with Tawny Newsome)
When the Entrepreneur’s mission is to take pictures of a space squall, the distress buoy they detect draws them into a paradox 65 million years in the making. But after the ship is captured by pre-historic Martians and La’an punches a dinosaur in the face, Captain Pike’s controversial...
-
Two Birds With One Torpedo (Film Fest: Batman 1966)
When four of Gotham City’s supervillains team up to take over the world, the Dynamic Duo are the only two people smart enough to save the Security Council. But after Bruce Wayne gets kidnapped by Catwoman disguised as Comrade Kitka, his newfound love turns to heartbreak when her true identity is...
-
Squib Fiesta (Film Fest: The War of the Gargantuas 1966)
When a giant green Frankenstein emerges from the ocean, he starts to take bites out of sailors like so many canapés. But after he makes his way towards mainland Japan, it's up to the crack team at the Frankenstein Institute of Technology to determine just what's going on. Is Russ Tamblyn the real...
-
Every Chair’s a Barber’s Chair (Film Fest: Our Man Flint 1966)
When an ex-agent of Z.O.W.I.E. is called out of his retirement lifestyle to save the world from climate scientists, Derek Flint politely declines the mission until a poison dart almost takes out his former boss. But after Galaxy agents abduct his lady friends, faking his death gets him into their...
-
RSVPizza (TOS S1E30)
When a Denavan Jakes his shuttle into the sun, the Enterprise quickly sends an away team down to the planet’s surface. But after the team discovers a rubber vomit parasite that is threatening to overtake the planet’s colony, the crew must find a solution that doesn’t nuke the baby with the...
-
Carl’s Hole (TOS S1E29)
When Greatest Trek jumps into the past, Adam and Ben must follow by skipping their way into Carl’s Hole. But after this classic episode of Star Trek the Original Series reveals more than just time travel, your hosts must commit to the past in order to save the future. Is Spock now a hat guy? Can...
-
His Underwear Pre-Wedgied (TOS S1E28)
When the galaxy winks out and a bearded time traveller appears, his religious quest for vengeance leads to confusing circumstances aboard the Entrepreneur. But after Kirk leads several missions down to the planet to investigate, hatching a plan to trap both Lazaruses for eternity is the sacrifice...
-
Pre-Bow Mall Santa Display (TOS S1E27)
When the Klingons are on the rise it’s up to Kirk and team to thwart an upcoming invasion, but when the Organians are a little too chill, it’s time to burst into a beam of light and put some Qo’nos and Earth perspectives aside. Will this renaissance world survive? How breezy are those outfits?…
more -
Giant Mound of Taco Meat (TOS S1E26)
When the Entrepreneur is sent to rescue some miners on Janus VI, their ages are not what anyone expected. But after an important implement is stolen by a mysterious monster, it’s a race against time to avoid losing their lives. Is there such a thing as an old bold miner? Does a three minute...
-
Toxic Positivity Spores (TOS S1E25)
When the Entrepreneur visits a decimated colony on Omicron Ceti III, the away team is surprised to find a group of happy survivors thriving on a vegetarian diet. But after Spock gets sprayed by a flower and everyone refuses to leave paradise, Kirk has to start pissing people off to break the...
-
Robots ARE Buttons (TOS S1E24)
When a grumpy Ambassador forces the Entrepreneur to ignore a Code 710, an away team beams down and learns the crew has been designated casualties of war. But after Spock starts taking out security guards and Scotty threatens to blow up the planet’s buildings too, Kirk destroys a war computer to...
-
The Napoleon of Hair (TOS S1E23)
When the Entrepreneur finds an Earth vessel from the mysterious 1990s, an away team beams aboard to wipe the frost off the sleeping crew’s glass. But after a Starfleet historian falls in love with Khan and helps him commandeer the ship, Captain Kirk retakes control and leaves the augments at Ceti...
-
Landru Has Taken the Wheel (TOS S1E22)
When scouting a mixed-genre planet, Sulu calls for emergency beam out and arrives back on the Entrepreneur looking very refractory. But after Kirk and Spock raid the costume closet and head down to check things out, they meet members of the resistance and break into the server room to confront...
-
Middle Finger Button Pusher (TOS S1E21)
When Captain Kirk demands his day in court, the evidence isn’t on his side and neither is an old flame. But after Spock starts kicking the computer’s ass at chess, they move the proceedings to the Entrepreneur so that Kirk can save the ship from another sweaty rambler. Which lesson could NuTrek...
-
Go Hard Tannen (TOS S1E20)
When the Entrepreneur tests out time-travel, Captain Kirk’s questionable use of the tractor beam results in past people getting beamed aboard. But after sharing way too much information and assessing their historical significance, Spock figures out how to slingshot everyone back to the future and...
-
Drugstore Godzilla Suit (TOS S1E19)
When Kirk beams down for a house party on Cestus III, what he finds instead is an aerial bombardment and one very angry outpost survivor. But when the Enterprise gives chase and the Metrons sense violent intent, a broadcast death match is the only suggestion for conflict resolution. Are Spock and...
-
Straight Liberace (TOS S1E18)
When the Entrepreneur is crossing a space desert on the way to Beta VI, the crew detect an unmapped planet and no one seems interested in stopping by. But after Sulu and Kirk disappear from the bridge, an away team beams down to find their chaos agent poised for an unfair fight. What’s the best...
-
University of Doogies, Howser (SFA S1E10)
When Nus Braka starts forming an anti-federation of pirates, he finds the Athena outside of his Omega47 mine sphere and kidnaps Ms. Mir and Captain Ake for an impromptu trial. But after Ms. Mir gets to act as judge, jury, and executioner, Caleb arrives to explain just how important the Academy is...
-
Planetary PA (SFA S1E9)
When school’s out and the cadets get dropped off at Betazed, Starfleet goes into lockdown and Caleb finally opens two years of messages from his mom. But after stealing a shuttle with the help of SAM, his tearful reunion on Ukek gets cut short by The Venari Ral. What are all Ben Affleck films...
-
The Phantom Dings (SFA S1E8)
When the cadets are struggling with their trauma and Lieutenant Tilly arrives to help them through some drama, SAM glitches out and has to make an emergency trip to Kasq. But after Tarima joins the cadets and slowly learns the lesson of Our Town, SAM gets a second chance at life with the help of...
-
Piece of Meats (SFA S1E7)
When the cadets leave campus for All-Worlds Day break, Darem gets ritually abducted and Jay-Den makes an extremely risky decision to follow him through a random portal. But after Caleb stays aboard the Athena and Genesis gets them both in trouble over nothing, Jay-Den gives a reception speech so...
-
Liminal Florist’s Space (SFA S1E6)
When the Academy and the War College are spirited away on a field trip to visit the USS Miyazaki, everything seems like fun and games until rabid bat men crash the party. But when Captain Ake is short on options for saving the students, Admiral Openly-Judges-You-For-Not-Having-In-Unit-Laundry...
-
Slap a Mustache on Me (SFA S1E5 w/Tawny Newsome)
When SAM is under pressure from the makers on Kasq, getting into a new class about the unexplainable puts her on the trail of another important emissary. But after exploring the life and legacy of the Sisko, SAM learns she no longer has to defend her choices to succeed. Who didn’t get screeners?...
-
Eagle Eye Trauma (SFA S1E4)
When a Klingon transport is destroyed and the diaspora becomes the topic of debate at the Academy, Jay-Den Kraag faces his fear of public speaking to make a case for Klingon autonomy. But after Captain Ake reunites with a warlord from her past and Admiral Vance lets him win his charity in battle,...
-
Baddie Academy (SFA S1E3)
When the War College students start pranking the Starfleet cadets, the adults in charge only add fuel to their fire. But after Darem fumbles as team captain and Caleb and Tarima get closer, the cadets end the prank war with only a little bit of lab-grown eye trauma. What do we not universally…
more -
To The Catering, Whence The Catered (SFA S1E2)
When the Betazed president alphas Admiral Keeps-Sending-You-Dave-Ramsey-and-Tony-Robbins-Videos during negotiations to potentially rejoin the Federation, it becomes clear he may not be there to negotiate in earnest. But after the president’s daughter takes a liking to a Caleb, he may be able to...
-
Half Dunk (SFA S1E1)
When a failure of Starfleet justice makes a sad little slickback out of Caleb, his escape kicks off a 15-year crime spree and all he wants is to find his mom. But after Captain Ake gets reinstated as the chancellor of Starfleet Academy, Caleb’s transmission to mommy reignites an old beef with Nus...
-
That’s a Big IDIC (TOS S1E17)
When the plague has to wait for some mandatory quasar research, the Suburban of shuttles is launched only to crash with seven crew members aboard. But after they leave the shuttle and get attacked by big foots and oversized spears, Spock’s final act of desperation leads to a redemption of his...
-
Conspicuous Butt (TOS S1E16)
When everyone but Spock is exhausted from their space adventures, a shore leave planet starts gaslighting them about some dangerous illusions. But after no one can find the glade and the landing party gets stranded, a Caretaker appears and explains the amusement planet’s safety precautions. How…
more -
The Skin of Kermit the Frog (TOS S1E15)
When some cloaked Romulans interrupt Space-Church, Kirk feels it necessary to investigate. But when a crew person with a bad attitude harshens the bridge’s vibe it’s time to follow a comet and learn some Vulcan history. Will Spock remember this Romulan? How many people does it take to fire a...
-
Death Bracket (TOS S1E14)
When the Entrepreneur gets off course with a theatre troupe, the real reason for the diversion is the lead actor might be Trogdor. But after the last remaining witnesses are eliminated one by one, Captain Kirk’s interest in the young daughter of Karidian ends in another theatrical tragedy. When…
more -
Deus Ex Mendez (TOS S1E13)
When the Menagerie arc winds down, a Mug Draft winner rises. But after losing the Mug Draft, a shocking realization threatens to change how we feel about this competition forever. What’s the title of Ben’s new documentary? Which mug is the Michael B. Jordan here? Do you want the winning mug for...
-
Streisand-Effecting the Planet (TOS S1E12)
When a private sub-space message is “delivered” to the Enterprise, Kirk and Co. make their way to Star Base 11. But when Spock takes this opportunity to abduct captain Pike and the ship, there’s no TAL-ing what can happen. Is this Spock from an alternate Trek timeline? Will Bones address the...
-
Issue 217 (TOS S1E11)
When Kirk and co. stumble upon an unavoidable-glowing-cube-boi they get stuck in an awkward spot. But when Balok toys with the way The Enterprise normally handles new encounters, it’s time to see what the alien looks like and escape the tractor beam. Is Spock too cool for school? What’s that big...
About this show
The unofficial, irreverent and filthy aftershow for all the new Star Trek television: Discovery, Picard, Lower Decks, Short Treks, Prodigy, Strange New Worlds, and anything else they throw at us. Each Friday after a new episode of Star Trek, Adam and Ben recap, review and roast all the New Trek. Check out our other show, The Greatest Generation, a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast!
Hosted by
Uxbridge-Shimoda LLC
Categories