PODCAST · society
Home Girls Unite
by HomeGirlsUnite
We're Home Girls Unite, a support group for eldest daughters and daughters from immigrant homes, and this is our podcast. Every week, we come together to discuss a topic that is unique to our struggles as eldest daughters who were forced to grow up before our time and mother those around us.
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139
Financial & Economic Abuse: The Hidden Burden Many Eldest Daughters Carry
This week, we explore financial and economic abuse through the lens of the eldest daughter experience. From being expected to financially support family members, sacrificing personal goals, managing household responsibilities, or carrying the economic burden of an entire family, many eldest daughters experience forms of financial control that are rarely discussed.We unpack what financial and economic abuse can look like in families, relationships, and communities, why eldest daughters are particularly vulnerable to these expectations, and how cultural norms can sometimes disguise harmful behaviours as duty, respect, or responsibility.Whether you're navigating financial boundaries, recovering from financial abuse, or trying to understand your relationship with money, this episode offers insight, validation, and practical reflections for eldest daughters seeking financial freedom and wellbeing.You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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138
Confessions of an Eldest Daughter: Fixing Family Problems, Setting Boundaries & Finding Joy
This week, Kiran and Yasin explore two confessions. One story unpacks the emotional burden of constantly fixing parents’ problems while receiving little support in return.The second follows an eldest daughter beginning to prioritise her own happiness, set boundaries, and rediscover joy beyond responsibility. A conversation about parentification, emotional labour, healing, and learning to choose yourself.You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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137
Visiting Home After Moving Out, Life in NYC & Unlearning Eldest Daughter Traits
This week, Yasin and Kiran discuss what it’s like visiting home after moving out as an eldest daughter — and the emotional shifts that come with creating distance, independence, and a new life.They also discuss life in NYC, missing home and creating new community and friendships. Lastly, they talk about some of the eldest daughter traits they are working to unlearn. You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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136
Confessions of an Eldest Daughter: Always taking the blame + dating a fellow eldest daughter
This week, Yasin and Kiran respond to your eldest daughter's confessions, unpacking the emotional weight of boundaries, family expectations, and burnout. We hear from:An eldest daughter dating another eldest daughter, but noticing the difference in how their families respond to boundaries, where one is supported, and the other is labelled “moody” or “rude”An eldest daughter who is constantly taking the blame and feels stuck in the middle of her parents and siblings. These stories highlight the emotional exhaustion many eldest daughters carry, often having to suppress their feelings, manage family dynamics, and keep the peace at their own expense.You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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135
Why Some Eldest Daughters Miss Out on Extracurriculars
In this weeks episode, Yasin and Kiran explore how immigration, birth order, and family expectations shape the opportunities available to eldest daughters.Kiran reflects on growing up as a second-generation daughter, where she had access to extracurricular activities and creative opportunities. Yasin shares her experience as a first-generation eldest daughter, where the focus was on academia, responsibility, and supporting the household, often at the expense of personal interests.This conversation highlights a deeper question:What does this mean for the next generation of immigrant daughters?You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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134
Confessions of an Eldest Daughter: Dating an Eldest Son + Marriage Regret
In this week's episode, Yasin and Kiran respond to anonymous confessions about dating, marriage regret and family pressure.This episode explores the complex realities many eldest daughters face when it comes to love, duty, and autonomy, especially within cultural and family expectationsYou can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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133
Eldest Daughters & Exploitation: The Hidden Risks No One Talks About.
In this episode, Yasin and Kiran explore a rarely discussed but critical topic: how being an eldest daughter can increase vulnerability to exploitation, including human trafficking for sexual exploitation.Through reflection and research, they unpack how parentification, family pressure, and cultural expectations can shape eldest daughters into being highly responsible, self-sacrificing, and conditioned to prioritise others, sometimes at the cost of their own safety and autonomy.These patterns, while often praised, can also create risk factors that are not widely acknowledged. This is not about blame; it’s about naming patterns, increasing awareness, and protecting women and girls.Full researchIf you or anyone you know needs support, please contact us. You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokIf you or anyone you know needs support, please contact us. Email us: [email protected]
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132
Confessions of an Eldest Daughter: As an eldest daughter, moving out feels like a crime
In this episode, Yasin and Kiran respond to confessions from eldest daughters — opening up to honest conversations about guilt, family pressure, and emotional responsibility.We hear from: An eldest daughter who feels guilty about moving away from her family An eldest daughter who feels stuck in the middle of her parents’ issuesMany eldest daughters grow up being the mediator, the fixer, and the emotional support system for their families. But what happens when that role starts to feel overwhelming?If you’ve ever felt torn between your own life and your family’s expectations, this conversation is for you.You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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131
Struggling to Make Friends? The Eldest Daughter Experience
In this episode , we explore how being an eldest or parentified daughter shapes the way we show up in friendships, from always being the “strong one” to struggling with vulnerability, boundaries, and asking for support.Many eldest daughters grow up prioritising others, managing emotions, and taking on responsibility early. But in adulthood, this can make it harder to build balanced, reciprocal friendships.You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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130
Confessions of an Eldest Daughter: “I told my parents I never want to have kids”
What do you do when your parents demand grandchildren, but they are the reason you don't want any? This week, we tackle the reality of eldest daughters who are burnt out from raising their own parents and siblings. We also explore a confession about the hidden stress of having a pet when you are already responsible for everyone else.You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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129
The Pressure of Being an Eldest Daughter | Founder Life, Burnout & Fear of Failure
Why do so many eldest daughters become high achievers, and why does it often lead to burnout?In this episode, Kiran and Yasin explore the unique pressure placed on eldest daughters and parentified daughters to succeed, be responsible, and hold their families together. Many eldest daughters grow up being the reliable one, the helper, the role model, the emotional support system. Over time, this responsibility can lead to overwork, not only in our personal lives but in our professional lives as well. You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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128
Confessions Of An Eldest Daughter: "Secretly Working for 4 Years"
Are you the family ATM? 💸 This week, we go through some eldest daughter confessions. We discuss how to handle toxic family dynamics, especially when you are forced to take on financial responsibility for your parents. We share stories from listeners, including one who secretly worked for four years to save money to run away. We also provide a resource pack and database for eldest daughters who want to move out. Stop being overly reliable and start sayingYES to yourself!You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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127
The Eldest Daughter Guilt
If you grew up feeling like the "third parent" in your house, this episode is for you.We sat down to talk about the heavy burden placed on eldest daughters—especially in immigrant families. We discuss why setting boundaries feels like a crime, why being called "selfish" should actually be a compliment , and how to finally stop throwing yourself under the bus just to keep the peace.It’s time to stop parenting your parents. Let’s talk about it.You can watch this episode on Youtube Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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126
Eldest daughters are stepping in for absent fathers
This week, Kiran and Yasin look at some confessions from eldest daughters. They discuss the importance of standing up for yourself as an eldest daughter. How to deal with misogynistic parents and siblings, and also the importance of calling people out who mistreat you Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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125
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Xenia and Yasin look at some confessions sent in by eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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124
As an eldest daughter, Lynette shouldn't have married Tom: A dive into Desperate Housewives
Yasin and Kiran are back after a well-deserved hiatus! In this episode, they dive into the world of Desperate Housewives, unpacking the dynamic between Lynette and Tom and how it reflects the struggles of eldest daughters everywhere. From managing responsibilities to navigating relationships, they explore why eldest daughters often carry the emotional and mental load—both on screen and in real life.They also discuss the importance of taking a break and indulging in the things you love—whether it’s binge-watching your favourite show or just reclaiming some guilt-free downtime. Because eldest daughters deserve rest too!Tune in for a fun, insightful conversation filled with pop culture, personal reflections, and a reminder that you’re allowed to just enjoy.Book a RANT session here.Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions hereFind us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTokEmail us: [email protected]
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123
Maintaining Your Freedom After Moving Back Home ft. Ayushi
This week, we’re joined by Ayushi to explore the highs and lows of moving back home after experiencing the freedom of university life. We delve into the challenges of navigating life under your parents’ roof again and share insights on maintaining healthy friendships, especially when the responsibilities of being an eldest daughter come into play. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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122
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Kiran and Yasin look at some confessions sent in by eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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121
Eldest Daughters and Resentment + CONFESSION ft. Yasmin
In this episode, Yasin and Yasmin discuss resentment and how it manifests in different relationships—whether with siblings, friends, or even in the workplace. The discussion centres around how unresolved tensions, unspoken frustrations, and unfairness can build up over time, often leading to a deep-seated resentment. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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120
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Kiran and Yasin look at some confessions sent in by eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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119
The therapist told my mum "you can learn a thing or two from Zoha’s parenting style"
CONTENT WARNING: TALK OF SUICIDE This week, Zoha joined us to share her PhD journey, the challenges she faced, and the key realizations along the way. We also delved into family dynamics, including her brother's struggles with disability, mental health, and a suicide attempt. Lastly, we explored her experience of supporting her mum through therapy and being there for her sisters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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118
"As an eldest daughter, my family doesn't always show up for me"
We're sorry we've been away. This week, Yasin and Kiran discuss Yasin's new role as a married eldest daughter. The girls also discuss how family can dismiss your needs and often fail to support you when needed. Finally, we discuss how our upbringing has impacted our emotions as eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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117
Eldest Daughters x Life Update
This week, Yasin and Kiran speak about their different life events and what this means for Home Girls in the future. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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116
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Kiran and Yasin look at some confessions sent in by eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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115
Can work be an escape for eldest daughters? + CONFESSIONS ft. Sahra
This week, Yasin is joined by her Co-director, Sahra. They delve into their experiences running Home Girls. The discussion shifts to the delicate act of balancing work and personal life. Looking at the unique pressures on eldest daughters in the workplace. They offer practical tips and personal anecdotes on managing responsibilities at home and in the workplace. They also discuss a confession of an eldest daughter. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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114
My partner is healing my eldest daughter trauma ft. Kafayat
This week, Yasin is joined by Kafayat. They discuss how moving out has become a gateway to gaining respect from family members and helping them realize how much you do for them. They also delve into the importance of standing your ground and embracing a rebellious spirit. Finally, they talk about her parents moving back to Nigeria and how that might impact her role as the eldest daughter. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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113
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Xenia and Yasin look at some confessions sent in by eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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112
I struggle with celebrating myself ft. Dr Isha
This week, we are joined by Isha, the latest PhD grad in town. We speak about her 12-year journey to getting her PhD and how she balanced it with being an eldest daughter and a mother of 2. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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111
Eldest Daughters obligation to celebrate fathers day even if your dad isn't worthy
This week, Yasin and Xenia discuss fathers day, the importance of therapy and having grace for our freinds who are on the journey of mohterhood. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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110
“I’m one of those people who’s glad they lost a parent” ft. Lydia
This week, we are joined by Lydia, who talks about how her eldest daughter's life has been 2 years after she first came on the podcast. We speak about the loss of her mum and how that has changed her sibling dynamic. We also discuss her journey to rediscovering herself. You can listen to Lydia’s new podcast, The Reforming Pessimist, here Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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109
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Kiran and Yasin look at some confessions sent in by eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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108
Apply For Our Young Women's Leadership Programme
We are now accepting applications for our 2024 TuWezeshe Akina Dada young women’s leadership programme! We have Sumayyah, who is a fellow from the latest cohort, to tell us about her experince. If you're interested in applying or would like to learn more, head over here for more details. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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107
"I consult everyone before making decisions"
This week, Yasin and Xenia discuss decision-making and how it impacts the eldest daughters. They also discuss how they might have thought strict parenting was their parents protecting them from outside harm. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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106
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Kiran and Yasin look at some confessions sent in by eldest daughters. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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105
Our Parents Community Wasn’t a Safe Space
This week, we talk about how sisterhood and community have been a safe space for eldest daughters. We speak about third spaces, the importance of creating safe communities and how different generations value different types of communities. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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104
"I was essentially one of their first bullies growing up because I was bullied" ft. Zita
This week, we are delighted to welcome Zita as our guest. In this episode, Zita delves into the less-explored aspects of the eldest daughter role, specifically addressing the challenges of mistreating siblings—an experience many of us share but seldom discuss openly. She candidly shares her journey of acknowledging the difficulties in her sibling relationships, taking accountability, and actively working towards improving them. Additionally, Zita reflects on her decision to change her educational path and provides insights into her current career position. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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103
Media Club: "That show was banned in our house"
We are so excited to launch our media club for eldest daughters officially. We want to use this opportunity to talk about the things we enjoy the most: books, films, theatre, TV shows and more.We will be running a book club and a monthly bonus podcast episode speaking about our favourite hot topics that relate to our eldest daughter life. Be it our favourite childhood film, Matilda, or the Kim vs Kourtney drama, we will talk about it all! Join Sumayyah and Ilhan on this fun and exciting journey. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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102
Eldest daughters, do we break or follow the rules?
This week, the girls discussed rule-breaking and how being the eldest daughter doesn’t often give you the luxury of breaking the rules like your younger siblings may be free to do. They also talked about how being pressured to follow the rules can lead to consequences of substance abuse after we gain some freedom. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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101
“Media and Medicine a constant battle in my life” ft. MoChunks
This week, we have a conversation with MoChunks. MoChunks is a Media Mogulette in the making. We speak about her eldest daughter role and how she juggles many other roles in her life. We discuss careers, education, burnouts and breakthroughs. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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100
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Xenia and Yasin look at a confession sent in by an eldest daughter. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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99
Dealing with the holiday season as an eldest daughter
This week, Xenia and Yasin speak about some of the stresses that come with being an eldest daughter during the holiday, especially when you are spending time with family emembrs that trigger you. They also give some tips on how to manage these streses, how to prepare yourself to be around family members, self-care tips and creating your own traditions. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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98
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, Xenia and Yasin look at a confession sent in by an eldest daughter. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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97
"Invite eldest daughters, even if they can't make it" - Eldest Daughters x Friendships
This week, Xenia and Yasin talk about all things friendships. Looking at how the eldest daughter role impacted their friendships and how we overcame it. They also discuss friendship break-ups, how to not take on most of the responsibilities in your friendships and finally, the effects of parents not encouraging friendships from a young age. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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96
Meet Xenia, our new co-host
Join us today as we get to know one of our second co-hosts, Xenia. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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95
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, we look at two daughter confessions and come up with possible solutions Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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94
What do eldest daughters experience on their wedding day?
This week, we discuss how eldest daughters are often referred to as party poopers. We delve into why many of us struggle with relaxing and having fun at parties. We also discuss how eldest daughters may feel on their wedding day. Will everyone let them have the day of their dreams, or will eldest daughters continue being planners and making sure everyone is fine? To apply for the girl dreamer role, head over here. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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93
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, we look at two daughter confessions and come up with possible solutions. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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92
Do eldest daughters see themselves as an extension of their parents
This week, we talk about the guilt that comes with accepting things from your parents (gifts, money, etc.) and how we can overcome this. We also speak about why eldest daughters communicate differently from their younger siblings. Book a RANT session here Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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91
CONFESSIONS OF AN ELDEST DAUGHTER
This week, we look at an daughter confession. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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90
Eldest daughters should do less, because "when we’re not there, they figure it out"
When did you first realise that your eldest daughter role dominated your life? This week, we speak about how the eldest daughter role dominates our lives. We discuss the guilt that comes with deciding to put yourself first and how to work around that guilt. We also look into the types of roles eldest daughters go into and how to manage a good work/life balance. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: [email protected]
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
We're Home Girls Unite, a support group for eldest daughters and daughters from immigrant homes, and this is our podcast. Every week, we come together to discuss a topic that is unique to our struggles as eldest daughters who were forced to grow up before our time and mother those around us.
HOSTED BY
HomeGirlsUnite
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