How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine
by Danielle Koenig & Kristine Kimmel
A comedy survival podcast about the disasters you fear, the chaos you don’t expect, and the daily hassles that make you wish you were dead. Hosts Danielle Koenig and Kristine Kimmel break down everything from natural disasters to unnatural medical scares to wild animals you don’t want to encounter- plus guest stories you truly won’t believe. If it can endanger your life—or simply ruin your day—they’ll tell you how to survive it, with plenty of laughs along the way. Featuring guests like Rainn Wilson, Jon Hamm, Tig Notaro, Patton Oswalt, Oscar Nunez, Lauren Ash, Paul F. Tompkins & Andy Richter.
Episodes
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How To Survive Religious Psychosis (W/ Autumn Bruewer)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive religious psychosis and Autumn Bruewer joins us to share her experiences with a roommate consumed with a religious psychosis of her very own. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on...
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How To Survive Being In A Horror Movie (w/ Matthew Patrick Davis)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive being in a horror movie and Matthew Patrick Davis joins us to share his experience well...being in a horror movie! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended…
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How To Survive Crabs! (w/ Griffin Kelly)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive catching body crabs and Griffin Kelly joins us to talk about how she survived an ever growing horde of land crabs! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended…
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How To Survive Sun Bakes & Earthquakes (w/ Lisa Arch)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive extreme sunburns and Lisa Arch joins us to share her experience during the '94 Northridge Earthquake. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus...
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How To Survive Leggy Centipedes & Armed Robbery (W/ Andy Kindler)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive creepy crawly centipedes and Andy Kindler joins us to share his story about the time a store he was working at was robbed by armed men! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon...
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How To Survive Alzheimer's (W/ Jason Salmon)
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive an Alzheimer's diagnosis and Jason Salmon joins us to share his experiences with his Father's Alzheimer's. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus...
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How To Survive Christian Nationalism & Growing Up Evangelical (w/ Matt LeGrande)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the growing threat of Christian Nationalism, and Matt LeGrande joins us to share his experiences growing up gay as an evangelical Christian. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on...
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How To Survive Being Undocumented & Making a Documentary (w/ Vana Thiero)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive being undocumented in America and Vana Thiero joins us to share her experiences advocating for and making a documentary about her two sons who are on the Autism Spectrum. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes...
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How To Survive Coyotes
This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive coyotes! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content. 📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.
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How To Survive Getting Sick Abroad & Touring Europe (w/Lauren Ash)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive getting sick while you're traveling- it's very common, and actress (Superstore) and musician Lauren Ash joins us to share her experiences on her sold-out UK tour! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every…
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How To Survive A Cover-Up & A Nude Scene (W/ Amy Landecker)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a government cover-up, and Amy Landecker joins us to share her experience filming her first nude scene! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus...
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How To Survive Cyclospora & Norovirus (w/ Jessie Gaskell)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a Cyclospora outbreak and Jessie Gaskell returns to share her story of catching Norovirus
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How To Survive Heatwaves & Hair Loss (w/ Ryan Smith)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive heatwaves and Ryan Smith joins us to share his story of how he handled realizing he was losing his hair.
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How To Survive A Post Vacation Bonus Episode Preview!
This week Danielle and Kristine and Garon are wrapping up time away so here is a chunk of our latest bonus episode that you get to enjoy with our Patreon! Join up to hear the entire bonus, extended versions of every episode, and a quarterly trivia gameshow! Patreon.com/PodcastHowToSurvive
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How To Survive A Kidnapping
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive being kidnapped and spend time talking summer plans and recent shows and movies!
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How To Survive A Horrible Boss (w/ Lee Farber)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a horrible boss and Lee Farber joins us to share his hectic day with a horrible Hollywood boss.
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How To Survive A Coma & Too Much Ambien (W/ Roy Cruz)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive falling into a coma and Roy Cruz joins us to talk about the time he accidentally, and unknowingly, took a few Ambien.
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How To Survive How To Survive Hiccups and Other Involuntary Body Functions (W/ Jennifer MacLean)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive those annoying hiccups, and Jennifer MacLean joins us to share her experiences with some...other bodily functions.
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How To Survive A Double Shift & A Double Mastectomy (W/ Chelsey Crisp)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive working back to back shifts and Chesley Crisp joins us to share her experience with Cancer, a double mastectomy, and a bum ankle.
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How To Survive A Boogie Man & A Dance Club (w/ Oliver Pardo)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the boogie man, aka creepy guys at clubs, and Oliver Pardo is back to share his first time clubbing in Los Angeles! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended…
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How To Survive A Business Partnership & A Comedy Partnership (w/ Julia Lea Wolov)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive forming a business partnership and Julia Lea Wolov joins us to share how she and her writing partner began their comedy partnership!
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How To Survive Carpenter Bees & A Car Accident (w/ May Darmon)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive wood-chomping carpenter bees, and May Darmon joins us to share her story of a West Hollywood car crash! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus...
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How To Survive Elder Scams
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive scammers targeting the elderly. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content. 📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.
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How To Survive An Affair & A Bear (w/ Brendan Smith)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a cheating spouse, and Brendan Smith returns to share his recent experience with a wild bear! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content. 📰...
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How To Survive RV Living
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive RV LIVING! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content. 📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.
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How To Survive Hantavirus
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive rat-borne hantavirus. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content. 📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.
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How To Survive Hot Flashes & Crowd Warm-Up (w/ Allan Murray)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the cursed hot flashes, and comedian Allan Murray shares his experiences as a warm-up comic for television. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes +…
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How To Survive An Alpine Divorce & Doin' The Deed (w/ Anne Gregory)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive an alpine divorce, and Anne Gregory returns to share a very "The Pitt"-esque way to lose one's virginity. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus...
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How to Survive Fear of the Unknown & a Mystery Illness (w/ Jane Borden)
This week: what it feels like to live with a mystery illness that doctors can't figure out—and how to survive the fear that comes with not knowing. Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the fear of the unknown, and author Jane Borden (Cults Like Us: Why Doomsday Thinking Drives America)…
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How To Survive Frozen Water & Frozen Shoulder (w/ Will Hines)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive ice cold water and Will Hines joins us to share his experience with frozen shoulders!
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How To Survive Dry Eyes, Long Flights, & Losing Your Glasses!
This week, Danielle, Kristine, and Garon return after a week off to dish on international fllights and lost luggage, they wonder why Jen Aniston keeps her dry eyes a secret, Garon loses his glasses to the powerful waves of the Pacific, and they catch up on some of their favorite television. 👉…
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How To Survive A Bonus Episode Sneak Peek!
This week Kristine is away to Germany but that means you are getting a special sneak peek at the type of Bonus Episode you get when you join our Patreon! This is a shorter version to get a glimpse of the fun we have every month. Join now!
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How To Survive The Boston Molasses Disaster & Comedy Scene (w/Brian Kiley)
This week on How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine, Danielle dives into one of the stickiest disasters in history: the Boston Molasses Flood — yep, slow as molasses IS an oxymoron. We break down how to survive a slow-moving but deadly disaster, and then comedian and writer Brian Kiley joins us…
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How To Survive Terrible Neighbors (W/ Scott Langteau)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive having a terrible neighbor, and Scott Langteau shares his tale of navigating the nightmare next-door neighbor. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes +...
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How To Survive Birth Control & A Vasectomy (w/ Jeff Lewis)
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive various kinds of birth control and Jeff Lewis joins us to share the experiences he had with getting a vasectomy. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes +...
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How To Survive A Heated Rivalry
This week, Danielle and Kristine are talking about how to survive rivalry- heated and otherwise. From the show Heated Rivalry, to siblings, marriage, and the workplace, rivalries are everywhere and can even be good for you. But if a rivalry gets too hot, Danielle and Kristine have some tips to…
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How To Survive Smoke Inhalation & Getting Fired (w/ Todd Levin)
This week, Danielle and Kristine delve into the flames, with tips to keep you safe from smoke inhalation. Then, one of our favorite guests, writer and comedian Todd Levin, returns with a tale many of us can relate to: getting fired. Only in his situation, the workplace...was incredibly well…
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New to How to Survive- Start Here!
What's this show all about anyway?
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How To Survive A Fer-De-Lance & Famous People (w/ Greg Proops)
This week on How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine, we learn how to survive the fer-de-lance viper — one of the deadliest snakes in the world — and just as threatening? Meeting famous people! Comedy legend Greg Proops joins us to share stories only he could tell about celebrity encounters and...
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How To Survive Losing A Limb & Losing Your Teeth (w/Macey Isaacs)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the loss of a body part and Macey Isaacs joins us to share the time she lost her front teeth! 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content. 📰...
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How To Survive the ER, Urgent Care, & Oscar Talk (Patreon Sneak Peek)
This week, on How to Survive, a little treat for you! A sneak peek at the kind of bonus episode you get when you join our Patreon! From ER visits to Oscars talk, we dig deep (emotionally, not physically, we have very weak arms) and lay it all out on the table- that we can't stop pounding! Want…
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How To Survive When A Protest Goes Sideways & A Birth Plan Falls Apart (w/ John Quaintance)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive being tear-gassed during a protest, then John Quaintance joins us to tell the story of his son’s birth—a carefully planned delivery that went completely off the rails in Laughlin, Nevada.
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How to Survive Inpatient Rehab & a Troubled Teen Program (w/ Charlie Nelson Jacobs)
Content Note: This episode of How to Survive discusses inpatient rehab and a troubled teen residential program. Listener discretion advised for discussions of restrictive treatment environments and institutional harm involving minors. This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine talk about...
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How to Survive the Stranger Things Finale & Strange Adventures in Ojai
Danielle, Kristine, and Garon talk about the Stranger Things finale. Plus, they are still talking about The Materialists. Who's ready for a live show in Sedona? Kristine tries to ruin football for Danielle and FAILS. AND then...Danielle and Kristine go to Ojai to prep for the first HTS Quiz Show...
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How To Survive Uber (w/ Oliver Pardo)
This week, Danielle and Kristine break down how to survive the potentially dangerous world of Uber and ridesharing, and Oliver Pardo returns with a few truly wild rideshare horror stories. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive! 🎧 New episodes every week! 👉 Support us on Patreon...
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How To Survive Losing Your Voice & Getting Censored (w/ Gary Mann)
This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive losing your ability to speak — laryngitis, vocal strain, and the singer's worst nightmare… growths. Then, Gary Mann joins to share his experience navigating Standards & Practices during his time on The Sarah Silverman…
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How to Survive Winging It Through Life & Burning Man (w/Jordan Morris)
On this week’s How to Survive, Matt Belknap steps in to produce a very rollicking holiday episode with Danielle and Kristine. They cover insane dogs, the legendary Pardo–Koenig holiday fête, and Danielle receives a gift that truly keeps on giving… migraines. From there, the conversation turns to...
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How to Survive White Water Rapids & Searching for a Body (w/ Drea Clark)
This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive white water rafting — bone chilling rapids, unexpected boulders, and most importantly the difference between a wetsuit and a drysuit. Then, Drea Clark joins to share her unforgettable tale near the St. Croix River, where her...
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How to Survive Sulfuric Acid & a Sulfa Drug Allergy (w/ Jeremy Bent)
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive exposure to sulfuric acid — trust us, you don't want to mess around with this chemical. Then Jeremy Bent joins to share the unfortunate way he discovered he’s allergic to sulfa-based antibiotics. 👉 Follow the show so you never miss a new…
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How to Survive Holiday Stress (Without Completely Losing It)
This week, Danielle and Kristine jump on Zoom to riff on the “joys” of Thanksgiving, holiday stress, family chaos, and unmet family expectations. With a little help from mental health master Brené Brown (in spirit!), they break down how to stay mindful — or at least avoid completely losing it —…
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About this show
A comedy survival podcast about the disasters you fear, the chaos you don’t expect, and the daily hassles that make you wish you were dead. Hosts Danielle Koenig and Kristine Kimmel break down everything from natural disasters to unnatural medical scares to wild animals you don’t want to encounter- plus guest stories you truly won’t believe. If it can endanger your life—or simply ruin your day—they’ll tell you how to survive it, with plenty of laughs along the way.
Featuring guests like Rainn Wilson, Jon Hamm, Tig Notaro, Patton Oswalt, Oscar Nunez, Lauren Ash, Paul F. Tompkins & Andy Richter.
Hosted by
Danielle Koenig & Kristine Kimmel