It's All My Fault
by JCC
Hello universe! As always, my greatest hope in this lifetime is to somehow, some way, get the chance to see you performing at your absolute best. That day may not be today... I get it. The seas have been a little choppy lately. Best to appreciate today in whatever ways you can because we haven't bottomed out yet. Worse is coming. Plainly stated it's become a flustercuck. One that's emerging right now in full cluster. The worst part is that I saw it happening in real time and did nothing to stop it. The blame falls directly on me. And quite fairly. For most of my existence I ignored the signs of collapse as they begged to be seen. I pretended the chicanery running rampant across reality would somehow fix itself without intervention. I watched as truth become maleable, destroying facts in the process. Personal integrity was now a sign of weakness. Reach across the aisle? For what? Only losers compromise. Winners take all. Societa
Episodes
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There's tons of other $#!% to get to anyway.
What's it called when the only reliable thing about you is how unreliable you are? Well whatever word that is, lately... I have to admit, I qualify. That doesn't leave me in a disappointed frame of mind per se, in fact it's quite the opposite. Consider the potential I have for improvement! Lots…
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I'm really that stupidly simple. Honestly!
You'd think an episode that has me accepting an award that I decide to give myself recognizing my initial 24:44 of recorded material as the most authentic representation of "me me me me me me" content that I can conceive of creating .... well that epidode must have finally reached the point of…
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Never give up on yourself.
Never give up on yourself. Of all the phrases that, to me, shouldn't exist in this universe, "never give up on yourself" might be top of the list. I suppose that's why I'm so fascinated by its prolific use in 21st century American life. Even those who claim to be fully aligned with its truth in...
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If you ask the universe how you can help, the universe will respond.
Hello universe! Anything new with you? I only ask because these past few months I've been so consumed investigating the knot that humanity has tied itself into that I lost track of everything else - including you! Which I do feel bad about since I know how disjointed you've been lately putting up...
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I sure do have some crazy ass thoughts!
More recording myself on multiple hits of acid. As expected, this one turns out for the unexpected. And not in a good way. Not in a baaad way either. Just in its own way. The way I can turn an attempt to apologize for regularly derailing my thought trains so much that circuitous tail chasing of...
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That's when the world starts to make sense.
Over 70 minutes of me diatribing in this one and it's only now, as I craft my description, that I realized I never even discussed the topic on which I planned to focus. It was to be the bulk of the episode and I forgot all about it. I wish I could say I'm in a state of disbelief that such a...
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Maybe you're the main character!
This weekend has been on my radar since the beginning of November. In December it grew even more ominous with my father's passing. Then, over the past 3 weeks, this weekend's disruptive potential escalated into the mythical. For me. And just for me. Not for you. I shouldn't think. Other people…
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Those aren't women they're #&%@! actresses!
Yeah, I'm back. And yeah I'm pissed. And yeah life has dipsy-doodled my flighty ass all over the place... and yeah that doesn't feel so good. But that's nothing compared to the bad behavior the boys are up to... oy vey! TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 28 of 53
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Let's do the next one together. Okay? Bye.
Let's get one thing straight here... this recording is mediocre. Undeniably. Totally my fault. But there it is. Got it? Okay. Of course, if that's your thing, and if you're an American I expect it likely is... feel free to proceed. For anyone else - you've been warned. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 27...
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We'll see how far off the rails that one goes.
I'm back in solo form here. Reluctantly. All thanks to... my stupid Android phone. I hate to admit this publicly, but I don't know if this droid is the droid I'm looking for. I know society thinks we're perfect together. Building forever's foundation hand in hand 60/60/24/7/365/9.2. I hear the...
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...you feeling good about this? Yeah. Yeah.
Finally! AMiRite? OhYesiAm. Not that things didn't happen exactly when they were supposed to - I get all that and don't want to seem unclear about how life's meandering meanings are built from within. But, to say I've been hotly anticipating this one is truly the understatement of the year. And...
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I guess that was ironic. Pause!
All right, awl right, all write. (No coypright infringement intended, even if implied). Hello universe! How are we doing? Outstandingly? Booyah. It must be the weather. Fall is so awesome. I all but forget about October's grandeur, its spectacle of transitions through the pallette of Earth tones...
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Feel better. Ok? Alright bye. Bye.
I must admit the persistence of my absence was a bit disconcerting ...toward the end. For I was convinced that a recording would emerge as the "by default" choice to rise to the lofty perch of episode 500 of this project I've dubbed It's All My Fault. At least mostly convinced... mostly. And...
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Now go do something better with your life.
Chop suey again? Is this really the new routine? Um... maybe? I mean it has been a while. Not that you care. We're both aware that you have innumerable better things you could be doing with your life instead of listening to me butcher the english language while losing my train of thought in a...
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I say why?
Hello universe. Happy day-after-Bastille-day. I hope this finds you well. In fact I hope this finds you exuberant about the upside of manifesting into the human experience. Because if you're not already in that space, I cannot see this recording moving you into that space. I feel like I should…
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I love my life. I love it.
I'm still so spent from my birthday fortnight, not to mention the 6-pack that just ended yesterday... wow what a life I'm having. Anyhow, given how blown away living in the moment has been, I hope you can forgive me for not being composed enough to attach something useful here. What else is new?...
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Up to the challenge I am.
This one felt a lot like the lull before the episode 500 storm. Just call me Edmonton - not quite up to the challenge but more than willing to make it look closer than it really was. Or... or call me Florida. No wait. Never call me Florida. Ever. Please. I beg of you. Edmonton sure. But Florida?...
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I don't know... you lose something in there don't ya?
Blah blah blah. Enough already about the comic book universe am I write Wolvie? Okay. Yeah you are. But at the same time. A little framing to help make that stupidity sensible wouldn't be the worst thing you've done lately so... let's just say if that's what you're up to here, we might just have…
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I love you Em. Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Emily! Tis the day ye came to life herea all those years back in history! If I wered to take this one more verse I'd for surely say. That this day is one I hope meets all your dreams in every way. Happy Birthday Little Sis! TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 17…
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Oooh do I like getting breakfast made for me.
Alright alright right on. I agree. After all the time I took away from corporate american life, I owe you the story of what roped me back in. So, here you go. TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 16 of 53
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Oh my god I love my neighbors!
Being out of weed, officially, makes the recent gaps in my recording output more understandable. I hope. Plus I've been out getting to know my neighbors and enjoying the hell out of the process. Even so... that doesn't keep me from taking the stupid people to task in this one... over and over...
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You wanna talk about chop suey... hmmm?
I admit, in a life lived as stress free as the one I'm currently layin' down, I often have the self-realization just how damn lucky I am. Especially as an American. Who is totally broke. And currently jobless. And yet... when it comes to saving the soul of humanity... well there, at least, I'm...
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Here at number 490 I'm ready to take a break.
At times I find myself wandering without purpose on these recordings. I'm certain you agree. Unexpectedly, this one felt rather on point. For the most part. Having not listened to it I feel rather "out-on-a-limby" here, but toot my own horn I will... if only to suffer the consequences later. If...
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We do not need to take this any further.
If you and I were just sittin' around chit-chattin' about not much and the direction of our dialogue detoured into considerations like what are some of the least respectful ways you can imagine closing out a recording... well I think the top of my list might land squarely where the end of this...
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There is meat on that bone.
You say hiatus, I say who ate this? Whichever trip through time you're currently flowing within, I beg you to maintain course. Full steam ahead, as it were. Forward march. Myopia preferred. Because any diversion into this realm, the absurd cartoon universe that I reside within - well, you'll be...
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That's why I have a felony.
If ever there were an episode that exposed just how unnecessary this intro blurb is... TensHUnsRye.ziNg Episode 10 of 53
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Which is why I'm stopping this now.
Once again, I offer proof that nobody can derail their own train better than I can... ... and that proof is this recording. In fact, so honed are my skills in this regard that I can even do so from within my dream state. On another planet. Entirely from another life lived. One filled with bliss…
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Happy Mother's Day mom!
Hey Hey Hey Universe. You've caught me a bit offguard here. Excuse my mess. I'm celebrating mother's day this year the only way available - by making it all about me. And a little tiny bit about my mom. To be fair, my mom up and ran to the Caribbean with my sister at 430 MST this morning so…
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That's how bad I am.
This frankenstein monster ends my threepeat - my most recent episodic trilogy - the George Lucas way, with more regret than one knows what to do with. To which I say: Whatevz. Already forgotten about. As if anywhere at all I have limited regrets in life? Come on. Seriously - come on! Let's get...
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Now, now we need money.
Finally! After many attempts to drill down on money and its emergence as a crucial component of civilized society - here, in this recording, I finally stay on point. Come to any conclusions??? Well, yes. Sort of. Oh I don't really know. Maybe you should decide. MAYBE. Probably not though. Again…
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... only be better.
This recording is work. It was work for me. And it will be work for you. Not physical labor mind you - no no no - that would be easy. No the work involved here is mental and not the fun gymnastics kind of mental - nope this one is dissociative schizophrenia all the way. So. Basically. It's my...
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Obviously it drives me a little crazy.
So yeah... I've been AWOL for a bit. If I can be so generous in decribing the gap in recording time I've allowed to pile up like laundry I'm ignoring here in April. Will you grant me the latitude? I knew I liked you... so easy to get along with when I give you no voice. Now how do you feel about...
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Because he's certainly going to hell.
I know, I know... I heard you okay... ??. I've been going a bit long lately. I get it. So... I thought I'd take it easy like a hotel in California by preparing something a bit more Tik-Tok. In this recording I spend 10:33 of the 12:46 talking about ticks. The rest of the recording is a public...
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Because apparently you have nothing further to add.
My failure to launch yesterday, March 29th, was not intentional. In fact It would have been my guardian angel's 35th birthday were she still with us. It's an event I've been eyeing since Thanksgiving if not earlier. Given her recent passing, I wanted yesterday's recording to express how much I...
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But it's March 29th. There's your hint.
Making it tremble on command? I'm not sure I like the sound of that. But I'm a guy so of course I find that intimidating. However we are not here to get bogged down in a discussion about men and their uncertainties when another season opener for the recording project "It's All My Fault" has just...
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If that's not the greatest finish ever... well ...what is?
Recording the season finale of NëiNsensiCaL felt like a tragedy that lost its comedy for all but 13-ish of the minutes. If I had to guess the other 94 minutes aren't all tragedy but the funny parts will be hard to find. It feels like I did a lot of wandering down alleys of immediate regret. How...
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I seriously wonder... who the hell are you?
This recording is NëiNsensiCaL's 52nd installment. You now have the full deck of cards. Which means the next episode, #53, adds the joker to the deck while officially closing down the 9th season of my personal vanity project/confession/podcast project: "It's All My Fault". As such, I want to…
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From a postcard point of view, well... it's f'n great!
It certainly took a while to get my point across in this one. Like 27 hours if you work it all out. I think. Maybe that's just how distracted my efforts have been since my melancholy manhole mishap threw me for a "clean burps" loop. Or maybe it's indicative of how little substantive contribution...
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Unfortunately it would be. That's the truth.
So getting a bit "crunchy" with my time means I kind of cut this one off short. I know I know I know - there's no time for that with the 8 days of VACA I'm just now rolling in from - I agree this is a bush-league maneuver. But still - timecrunches in this linear sh!tstorm are real. Can't live…
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... government by lottery.
I used most of the last recording to complain about the human condition we're collectively accepting here on Earth867-5309. The one that has our humanity so unfulfilled right now. And then, like a jerk, I offered nothing in the way of solutions that might help offset this situation. So today, I…
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Every body in a human meat suit is worth it.
In the version of english I use to attempt communication with others, the one that today is spoken in the nation currently labeled the United States of America in the spacetime moment that is the "year after the year" Love Was Left on the Cutting Room Floor - in that specific version of reality…
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Let's all lose some files ...huh?
It's "Saturday Date Night" universe so should we pick up Thai or go out for Italian? Or did you want to grab something to cook together? I'm sorry I didn't hear you... come again. You're what now? You have a what now? You say you have a headache? Really... ? A headache? That's almost believable...
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... well, no more coming for us.
My content delivery method can, correctly I might add, be criticized as long-winded and distracted. As well as desperately in need of an editor. These are AMONG the many other criticisms that might legitimately be expressed of me, my presentation, my technical challenges and my general purpose...
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The universe you're sharing is truly wonderful.
I would qualify this recording as a "sidebar" effort, if such a category existed, in this project. And given that all parameters contained herein are totally mine to arbitrarily design, well... - Welcome to the Sidebar Part of the Show - Where topic matter is more reactive than proactive... as...
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Sometimes being a human sucks.
This one is the very definition of "all over the place". And it ends in a flood of emotional distress... so there's that to look forward to. I don't really know where to go with this addendum to an experience that is an hour of me in all of my exposed self thinking hard thoughts about the here…
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But I also believe that you're here to do the same.
Getting through my long overdue apologies to you, my listener, should have been enough for this episode on its own. But like I'm prone to do, I pile on with 11 beliefs that stretch the imagination to a point I won't blame you for never listening again. Hold it against you, maybe... But blame you?...
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Over an hour of me talking?!?!? {anguish} That's gotta be terrible!
It seems as if I'm still on amicable terms with YouTube©®™. Shocking. I agree. It's been 8.75 days since we got back together As I type this... 2.27.24 at 4:53 MST. after I panicked 2 years ago and ran knowing how much you'd changed and anything between us wasn't sustainable. There's that. You'd...
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... but you have to believe in a better world like the rest of us! {discordance}
Hello YouTubeiverse. ©™® As "reasons to never listen to me again... ever!!!" go... this recording might have just skyrocketed to number one on that list. I have never felt the need to interject a message intentionally warning tender young ears to stay away from... the disturbing nature of my next...
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Get lost in deep thought.
I believe getting lost is a fair assessment of the journey this one offers but the deep thoughts part - that part I'm not so sold on. Not because I'm doing that thing where I'm underselling the depth of my existence to trigger reactions like "dude quit soliciting compliments that way - it's...
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Not this one. That one.
First, what if you were thrust into a circumstance that demanded of you a decision be made in the next 30 seconds that could never be undone. With that absurd reality engaged, the choice at hand is this: which, of the many options available currently, would you declare as the one and only fruit...
About this show
Hello universe!
As always, my greatest hope in this lifetime is to somehow, some way, get the chance to see you performing at your absolute best.
That day may not be today... I get it. The seas have been a little choppy lately. Best to appreciate today in whatever ways you can because we haven't bottomed out yet. Worse is coming.
Plainly stated it's become a flustercuck. One that's emerging right now in full cluster. The worst part is that I saw it happening in real time and did nothing to stop it. The blame falls directly on me.
And quite fairly.
For most of my existence I ignored the signs of collapse as they begged to be seen. I pretended the chicanery running rampant across reality would somehow fix itself without intervention.
I watched as truth become maleable, destroying facts in the process. Personal integrity was now a sign of weakness. Reach across the aisle? For what? Only losers compromise.
Winners take all.
Societa
Hosted by
JCC