It's Not About the Alcohol
by Colleen Freeland
Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by about 80 percent? Become the version of you who can just "take it or leave it" so that you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control.Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. Colleen Freeland is a a mindful drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their m
Episodes
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EP360 Why you drink more after bariatric surgery (and how to decide whether to quit or cut back) with Ruby Williams
If you've had bariatric surgery, and now you're drinking more than you ever have, you may be wondering if quitting is your only option. This conversation shows you why the answer is embedded in your own personal experience, not someone else's playbook, and why letting go of your alcohol identity...
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EP359 The hidden reasons why you drink too much (and what really needs to change)
You've been negotiating new rules every time you break the old ones, and you still can't figure out why "just drink less" never sticks. The answer isn't in your glass. It's in your week. Three client stories show you exactly where the drinking is coming from, and the one question to ask instead…
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EP358 Why you need wine when you're stressed (and how to reduce cravings without whiteknuckling) with Sian Cook
You eat clean, you handle everything, and by five o'clock you still feel like you need a glass of wine to calm down. Sian Cook, a former client trained in medicine, explains what stress is draining from your brain, why wine feels like the fix, and where to start to change your relationship with...
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EP357: Your drinking isn't self-indulgent. It's self-denial. Here's the difference.
You've been telling yourself you drink too much because you love it too much. That's not what's happening. This episode shows you the rules you've been following since childhood that make you say yes to everyone else and no to yourself, and why the drink at the end of the day is the only thing…
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EP356 The real reason you can't follow through on your promise to "not drink" tonight
You have discipline in every other area of your life. You follow through, you deliver, you keep everything running. So why is it that the one night you tell yourself no drinking, you pour that first glass like that was the plan all along? This episode explains what's actually driving that, and…
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EP355 How to be truly free from the desire to drink (without willpower)
You've done a lot of work and you've definitely improved. But you're still drinking more than you want. And there's a critical voice in your head that keeps insisting you should be doing more–working harder and changing faster. This episode explains why the desire to drink won't lift until you…
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EP354: If it feels like your drinking hasn't changed, track this metric instead
You're still drinking more than you should, and you want to know if real change actually is a slow process, or if you're just making excuses so you don't have to quit. Here's the honest answer, plus a reliable metric to track so that you can feel more confident about your progress. What you'll...
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EP353: Your brain talks you into drinking. Here's how to talk back.
You wake up asking the same question you asked yesterday. What the hell is wrong with me? But you've already decided the answer is that you're drinking is out of control. This episode shows you how the story you keep telling yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and gives you three moves…
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EP352: Drinking turns off your brain. Planning to quit turns it back on. Here's how to break the cycle.
You wake up feeling rough and decide, "I'm not drinking tonight." For a few hours, that plan feels solid. But evening comes and you pour one anyway. And now your brain has even more evidence that you're not in control. Which makes you less motivated to try again (because what's the point?) This...
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EP351: Why joy is key to drinking less (not discipline)
You've been telling yourself that if you were more disciplined, then you wouldn't drink as much as you do. But the problem isn't that you need more control. It's that giving yourself permission to relax means that you're wasting time or falling behind. Which is why you need alcohol. This episode...
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EP350: How to tell the difference between self-care and self-sabotage (before your next drink)
You set a plan to take a break from drinking and made it a few days. Then you blew it. And now you're trying to figure out why you keep breaking promises to yourself when it comes to alcohol. This episode gives you a step by step strategy (based on curiosity and self-compassion instead of…
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EP349 Why you can't say no to wine at night (it's a capacity problem, not a willpower problem)
You keep telling yourself you'll take the night off, or at least stop at two glasses. But then you drain the entire bottle (as usual). This episode shows you why that's not a willpower problem, and walks you through Colleen's Capacity Audit so you can see exactly what's draining you. What you'll...
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EP348: Why wondering if you're an alcoholic makes you drink more (and a better question to ponder)
If you're an alcoholic, how is it possible that you can get more done before breakfast than most people do in a week? And yet, you still know that you drink too much. So you Google your questions, maybe take the online quizzes, which don't help. This episode gives you a better way to look at your...
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EP347: Why you can drink a whole bottle and not feel "drunk" (and how to retrain your brain)
You've always been a little proud of your high tolerance. You can drink grown men under the table and still walk and talk like a rockstar in four inch heels. But lately it scares you. How is it even possible to drink that much and not even feel it? This episode answers that, and shows you how to...
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EP346: How to cope with conflict in your relationship without drinking with Karen McMahon
You've been drinking more lately because of your partner. Their mood is the problem. Their lack of effort. Their inability to have an honest conversation. But if this is their problem, why are you stuck? My interview with high conflict divorce coach Karen McMahon will show you how to take your...
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EP345: The KNOW-DO Gap: Why you keep drinking when you know you shouldn't.
You know you should be drinking less, but you can't follow through. You promise and plan to do something different and then repeat the same mistakes over and over. This episode explains the gap between knowing what you should be doing and actually doing it. And gives you the perspective shift…
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EP344: The Hidden Hormone Imbalance Making You Drink Too Much (And The Labs Your Doctor Isn't Running)
You've been blaming yourself for drinking too much. You assume the brain fog, the fatigue, the weight you can't shift, the way you can't stick to your plan, all of it, is because you drink. But what if the reason you're drinking so much is that your hormones are off? This episode walks you…
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EP343: Why drinking to relax anxiety makes it's worse (and what to do instead)
You've been searching for something to take the edge off. Some tool or strategy that can help you relax so you don't feel like you need to drink so much. CBD. THC gummies. A sleepy-time tea. The anti-anxiety medication your doctor offered. This episode explains why nothing you've tried works as...
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EP342 Change THIS if you want to drink like a normal person again
You've been told that the best way to stop drinking too much is to stop drinking entirely. This episode shows you why that advice usually doesn't work for high-achieving women. Dr. Tammie Kennedy is here to share her experience as one of my students in The Next Chapter. She'll tell you the truth...
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EP341: Why You Need Alcohol To Go To Sleep (And how to break the pattern)
You can't fall asleep without a few drinks. Every time you've tried going to bed without it, you end up back on the couch an hour later pouring a glass because your brain wouldn't shut down. This episode explains what's happening in your nervous system and gives you three practices to rebuild…
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EP340: Why your drinking makes perfect sense (and how to actually rewire your brain)
You've been kicking yourself for finishing the bottle (again) when you promised it was going to be just one glass. This episode explains why trying harder isn't working, and gives you three principles of self-directed neuroplasticity that actually rewire your brain so drinking less stops feeling...
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EP339: The 3 Hidden Patterns Behind Overdrinking in Busy and Successful Women
You're not a woman who needs more information. You read the books. You follow the sober curious accounts. You've done Dry January. You've downloaded Sunnyside or Reframe. Every Sunday morning you promise yourself this week is going to be different. And here you are, still on the hamster wheel....
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EP338 Minisode: Why You Can Explain Your Drinking But Still Can't Change It
In this episode, Colleen pulls apart something that sounds right, but quietly keeps women stuck: thinking about your feelings instead of actually feeling them. Because most women in this space aren't avoiding the work. They're doing a ton of it. They can explain their patterns. They understand...
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EP337: Why drinking every night destroys your confidence (and how to stop)
Now that I'm on the other side of my recent slip back into drinking every night, I can see exactly what happened—and more importantly, I can explain the mechanism that makes this so dangerous for high-achieving women. In this episode, I'm breaking down why nightly drinking doesn't just affect…
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EP336 Minisode: Why Giving Yourself Permission To Drink Actually Helps You Drink Less
In this episode, Colleen revisits one of the hardest ideas to trust at first: that before your drinking changes, you have to stop making your drinking the enemy. And yes… that can feel dangerous. Because the moment you stop restricting, judging, and trying to control yourself, your brain often...
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EP335: I was drinking every night again. Here's how I stopped.
Colleen gets really personal in this episode. She shares the hard winter that (at one point) sent her back to nightly drinking, financial stress, the loss of her dog, feeling stuck in a house that no longer feels like home, and walks through exactly how she got out. In this episode: Why going…
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EP334 Minisode: Lower your tolerance without taking a break from alcohol
In this episode, Colleen pulls on a thread most women don't question: that moment where you're a drink or two in and thinking, "I'm not even feeling this." And instead of solving for it… she slows it down. Colleen walks through how easy it is to miss the actual experience of drinking when you're…
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Ep333: Three Simple Practices To Improve Your Willpower TONIGHT
You made the promise this morning,"I'm not going to drink tonight." You meant it. Then the day happened. And by 6pm, the drink was in your hand like that was the plan all along. This isn't a willpower problem. It's a capacity problem. And once you understand what's actually happening in your...
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EP332 Minisode: Become Your Own Source Of Comfort (So You Don't Need Alcohol)
In this episode, Colleen names something most women have never been taught to do: have a relationship with themselves. Not self-improvement. Not fixing. Not managing behavior. Actual relationship. Because when you don't know who you are, what you want, or how to meet your own needs, alcohol steps...
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EP331: Workaholism and Over-Drinking Are the Same Problem — Here's the One Shift That Fixes Both
What if the habit you're most proud of — your drive, your work ethic, your ability to get things done — is quietly running on the same fuel as the habit you're trying to change? In this episode, Colleen gets personal. She walks through the exact moment she diagnosed herself with workaholism — not...
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EP330 Minisode: How to leverage your dopamine so that alcohol is less appealing
In this episode, Colleen revisits the biochemistry of change through the lens of dopamine — not as a science lesson, but as a practical explanation for why so many women stay stuck in cycles they genuinely want to change. She breaks down the difference between motivation and overwhelm, and why…
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EP329: Why your brain classifies alcohol as medicine, and how microdosing psilocybin changes that w/ Victoria Lee Starr
If you've ever reached for a glass of wine at the end of a hard day without really deciding to, this episode is going to explain exactly why that happens — and why it has nothing to do with willpower or self-control. Your brain isn't misbehaving. It's being efficient. Over hundreds of…
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EP328 Minisode: The #1 Lie That Makes You Want To Drink
In this minisode, Colleen explores one of the most powerful lies we tell ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or stuck: "I don't have a choice." It sounds practical, even responsible. But the moment you believe it, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. You feel trapped, resentful, and...
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EP327: Why Getting Sober Didn't Fix My Drinking Problem (And What Actually Did)
You've been told your drinking is the problem. That if you could just control the behavior — stay sober long enough, count your days, follow the rules — the shame would go away. But what if it's the other way around? In this episode, Colleen gets personal about her three years of sobriety and…
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EP326 Minisode: Three Mindset Shifts That Changed My Relationship With Alcohol
In this episode, Colleen shares a coaching moment that started with a simple scheduling mistake and turned into a powerful lesson about belief systems. When a client didn't get her breakthrough session as planned, she chose to see the delay differently: not as something happening to her, but...
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EP325: Why women who pursue financial abundance can take or leave alcohol with Mystic Millionaire Danielle Amos
What do your drinking and your bank account have in common? More than you think. In this episode, I sit down with mindset coach and Mystic Millionaire Danielle Amos to explore the hidden connection between your money beliefs, your scarcity mindset, and why you reach for the wine at the end of the...
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EP324: Stop trying to reduce your drinking. Do THIS instead.
For two years, "reduce your drinking by 80%" was my signature phrase. It's on my website, my ads, my podcast — everywhere. In this episode, I tell you why I retired it, what I replaced it with, and what this shift means for you — whether you're in my program or hearing my voice for the first…
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EP323: How to reverse the shift from "fun" drinking to "coping with stress" drinking
Most women measure alcohol consumption by how much and how often they drink. But the research says the most important predictor of whether your drinking becomes a real problem isn't about the amount you drink — it's why you drink. In this episode, I tell the story of the exact day I became a…
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EP322 Minisode: What Big Setbacks With Drinking Really Mean About Your Ability To Change
✦ February Bonus ✦ Join The Next Chapter by February 28, 2026 and receive $2,000 off. In this episode, Colleen reframes one of the biggest misunderstandings about drinking: it's not one behavior — it's a collection of hundreds of habits shaped by context, environment, relationships, and emotional...
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EP321: How to tell if your cravings are physical or mental (and what to do about each)
You think your cravings are a willpower problem. They're not. You think if you could just think differently, you'd drink differently. And that's exactly why nothing has worked. In this episode, I'm breaking down why the urge to drink starts in your body — not your brain — and giving you three red...
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EP320 Minisode: Why You Keep Breaking Your Own Rules About Drinking
In this episode, Colleen continues sharing takeaways from her retreat with Dr. Amanda Hanson (midlifemuse) — and she names something that sits underneath so much of women's drinking, overgiving, perfectionism, and burnout: conditioning. Not just childhood conditioning — cultural conditioning....
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EP319: The #1 skill that will reduce your drinking without (much) willpower
You told yourself this morning you weren't going to drink tonight. But now that it's time to make that decision, it feels impossible to say no. That moment is exactly what Colleen breaks down in this episode — because the path forward requires you to understand that this is not a lack of…
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EP318: Want to know why some women can take or leave alcohol?
Do you want to know what's different about the women who can genuinely take or leave alcohol? And why it feels impossible for you to be "more like them?" In this episode, I'm giving you a sneak peak of my new masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it--why some women can and how you can...
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EP317 Why talk therapy isn't enough to change your drinking with Dr. Amanda Hanson
I was one of the most therapized people you've ever met. I knew my triggers. I'd unpacked my daddy issues, my relationship with my mom, my insecurity, my eating disorders, problems in my marriage. I cognitively understood what triggered me and why I wanted to drink so much. And that did fuck-all…
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EP316 Minisode: Next Time You Want To Numb Your Emotions With Alcohol, Try This Instead
In this episode, Colleen shares a raw, surprising takeaway from a recent retreat — one that had nothing to do with learning new concepts and everything to do with experiencing her body in a new way. What began as deep discomfort around words like sensuality and sexual energy opened into a...
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EP315 What I do the morning after I drink too much
I woke up a little hungover this morning. I had a third glass of wine I didn't need. And instead of spiraling into shame, I did what I always do now—I grabbed my journal and got curious. In this episode, I'm walking you through exactly what I do the morning after I drink too much. The four…
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EP314 Minisode: How to pull yourself out of a funk without pouring a drink
In this episode, Colleen responds to a question many women hit right after real momentum begins: What if I slip back? What if the funk comes back and I lose everything I've built? Using a recent coaching call — and her own very real 5 a.m. spiral — she breaks down why the goal of emotional…
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EP313 Three Tools that will help you drink less without relying on willpower
Why does the wine start calling at 5pm—even when you promised yourself this morning you wouldn't drink tonight? In this episode, Colleen breaks down exactly what's happening in your nervous system when willpower fails, why high achievers are stuck in chronic stress mode, and how the shame spiral…
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EP312 Minisode: You're Not Broken, You're Wounded: The Truth About Trauma and Addiction
In this episode, Colleen unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths in emotional sobriety: drinking isn't a character issue — it's a nervous system response to chronic stress, shame, and unmet needs. Drawing from The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, she explains why so many of us learned to…
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EP311 Why you'd rather drink alone than have sex with your partner (and how to turn yourself back on)
This is a follow-up to last week's episode about a client whose New Year's resolution to "drink less" was already failing two days in. I talked about how emotional overwhelm leads to a "functional freeze," and why this is more than a habit, it's a survival strategy. On the coaching call, we...
About this show
Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by about 80 percent? Become the version of you who can just "take it or leave it" so that you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control.Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. Colleen Freeland is a a mindful drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their m
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Colleen Freeland
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