It’s Not Therapy! with Liana Kerzner

How to put the 'oral' in sex!A healthy sexual connection with a partner is built on good communication and understanding. But what happens when you don't fully understand what arouses you or how to communicate that effectively? Add the challenges many neuro-divergent people face in making themselves understood and the obstacles to successful intimacy can become ever more daunting. Liana talks with Edmonton-based sex therapist Corey Hruska about how to connect with our own sexual impulses and how to share that knowledge with our partners.

Narcissism is a word that has broken containment; people mistakenly believe it's simply an inflated ego rather than a specific mental health disorder requiring diagnosis by a licensed medical health practitioner. In other words, it's often misunderstood. But what happens when narcissism is also misunderstood by some mental health practitioners? Mental health educator Ross Rosenberg M. Ed, of Selfloverecovery.com, returns to talk to Liana about how to recognize when you, a friend or loved one is not receiving appropriate mental health assistance.

We all have tasks or projects that we know we need to do, even want to do, but we don't, we don't even get started. Is it fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of change? A mixture of fears? And how do we get past our hesitations and get going? Good questions, and Liana's returning guest, Steven Puri of thesukha.co, has some answers!

Social media and cell phone bans for children under 16 are a common topic among many world governments, including Canada's. But what if the device isn't the problem, but a symptom masking the problem? Child mental health therapist Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge joins Liana to talk about the less-discussed social, emotional and mental health issues that may fuel a child's phone habits... and those of adults.

Recent studies have shown that the loneliness epidemic has been furthered by a lack of meeting spaces in the real world, notably low-pressure gatherings... and what's more low-pressure than a garage sale?? Liana talks with Danielle Cohen, organizer of the Georgina-Wide Garage Sale Day (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1584575116580127/), about the need to create opportunities for people to interact in a chill space where the weight of constrictive social norms are relaxed.

We talk about the journey of identity and self image, but that becomes an even bigger struggle when you’re a professional singer, touring with some of the biggest bands in the world, including Pink Floyd, Sting, Foreigner, and Pat Benatar! Japanese American singer and author Machan Taylor talks to Liana about these challenges and her new book Naked Out Loud: From Yokohama to Pink Floyd and Beyond

Many of us were told in childhood not to talk to strangers. Good advice at the time. But today, one of the foundations of the loneliness epidemic is people not knowing how to talk to strangers, or very afraid of trying. Liana lived with these experiences and so did her guest, Geoffrey Huck (courageous-communication.com), who shares how he 'flipped his extrovert switch' and turned his fear of speaking to new people into a compass and not a stop sign

Many of us have been in a relationship with someone who is wrong for us. This is especially true of people who are 'givers' that find themselves attracted to 'takers'...sometimes repeatedly. Ross Rosenberg (selfloverecovery.com) is an author and expert on codependency and trauma - such an expert that he believes the term 'codependency' is a misnomer and has instead coined the term Self-Love Deficit Disorder. What is that? Listen as he and Liana discuss SLDD and pathological narcissism, and what you can do to stop falling for people who keep hurting you.

Stigma involves applying negative stereotypes to people who are ill, have certain physical characteristics or other perceived 'deficiencies,' which leads to discrimination and exclusion, sometimes with harrowing results. Typically, these stigma are inflicted by the judgment of others - but some are also self-inflicted. Liana shares steps people can take to free themselves from the pain of their internalized stigma.

For most people, being diagnosed with stage four colon cancer represents the end of their life's journey, but for Tim McDonald it was the beginning of a new path. Tim, a stage four colorectal cancer survivor and liver transplant recipient, talks to Liana about how he turned his struggle with his health crises into a renewed purpose as a patient advocate, speaker, host of the "Advocacy at Work"podcast and author of the book "From Patient to Advocate: Turning Survivorship into Impact". Tim's tale is inspiring and important listening for people experiencing life-threatening illnesses and those who love and support them.

Where's the line between "bad people" and "good people who do bad things"? Using characters from the Amazon Prime series The Boys as examples, Kerzner examines how intent, mental health, and behavior intersect to define true "bad person" territory.

No, this episode isn't about politics, but the recent social media tirade from US President Trump threatening to militarily destroy Iran and its people, expressed in vulgar language, is a prime example of how behaviour once considered unfit for public display has now become normalized. Not only normalized, but held up as examples of strength, honesty and courage. Liana takes apart this troubling trend, influences which motivate it, illnesses which may contribute to it, and how we push back against it - without ourselves exhibiting the same behaviour.

"Disabled" works just fine for Todd Vaarwerk: Chief Policy Officer for West New York Independent Living, he's more interested in results. Todd uses a wheelchair due to the effects of cerebral palsy, so nobody is better at separating efforts which are useful support for disabled people from the 'well-meaning but useless' or counter-productive steps taken. And he does it with a rich sense of humour in conversation with Liana, who shares her own stories of 'accommodation' that really wasn't.

Duty of Care means ensuring that you take reasonable steps to provide a safe environment for others. It's a simple definition for a complex practice that takes on many different forms in different situations. Liana shares personal stories to reveal how that care can be applied - and misapplied -in ways that can make a situation less safe and supportive than you intend. Ultimately, a reasonable duty of care means finding a balance between support and the respect of an individual’s autonomy.

The unfortunate occurrence at the BAFTA Awards, where an attendee who has Tourette's Syndrome shouted racial epithets at two Black award presenters (and the way BAFTA chose to handle that), has given prominence to the question of 'reasonable accommodation' of people with disabilities. Liana speaks with LJ, a brilliant scientist whose disability has deterred potential employers, about what he sees as reasonable accommodation and, importantly, how some well-meaning accommodations actually make things more difficult.

Most of us try to be friendly, kind, supportive people. Yet all those things could be true and you still, inadvertently, say something that makes you look like a a*hole, and you don't even know why! Liana takes us through a journey of ways you may unintentionally be acting like an a*hole.

As a member of the Girls Gone Wild tour of the late 1990s Courtney Kocak had a front-row seat to the "good, clean fun" which that media was marketed as. Courtney also felt the impact of sexualized media, how it affected her self-image and sense of healthy femininity. Courtney, author of the forthcoming autobiography Girl Gone Wild, (https://www.courtneykocak.com/links) shares with Liana her experiences in the belly of the beast and how she turned her rocky journey into a chronicle that can help other women shed the mental conditioning of sexualized messaging. Also, has "prestige cinema" become indistinguishable from pornography?

Many people fear that A.I. represent the end of our world as we know it. Liana sees A.I. for what it is - a tool that can be used for good or ill - and she relates her experiments with A.I. as a means of bettering our lives. Helping with "adulting"? Good. Helping to visualize emotions? Good. Replacing human connection with chatbots? Bad. While AI doesn't "think" or "feel," it can help take the terror out of engaging with the world.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence. It's definitely the former and not the latter. What's being called "intelligence" does not actually think and the information and advice it offers can be not just wrong, but dangerous. Liana deconstructs how "AI" operates, shares the red flags to be aware of and how to reclaim your thoughts that AI has polluted.

Confidence is about self-assuredness, self-acceptance and the strength to be flexible when facing challenges. What's being packaged as 'Confidence' in some quarters is the opposite - fear presented as bluster, extreme need for external validation and fragility projected as 'strength'. Liana lays out her personal journey for learning the difference between the two versions of confidence and how to spot and deal with those confusing ass-ertiveness for assuredness.

While the overwhelming majority of mental health professionals listen closely to their patients and work diligently to provide the best in care, there are some whose attempts at healing lead to misdiagnosis with serious adverse effects. Liana talks to Benton Savage, author of the book "Wrong Side Out - Madness Misdiagnosed" about his experience with his mental illness being misdiagnosed, how such things happen, how he uncovered his actual condition and how you can learn from his experiences.

If there's one thing you can find an endless free supply of, it's advice. Sometimes, that's a good thing. Other times, not as much. But how can you tell the good advice from the bad? And how do you know if the advice you're giving will help or hurt? Liana takes you through her 9 types of bad advice, in her first list of 2026!

Gossip can be Educational!What can a gossipy celebrity moms' feud teach us all about the danger of throwing shade, the real pain of ostracism, toxic group dynamics and why husbands shouldn't immediately jump to publicly defend their wife? Liana ties the Ashley Tisdale/Hillary Duff/Mr. Hillary Duff/Mandy Moore blow-up to some darkly funny personal family experiences to illustrate all the above, and more!

Resentment is the feeling of having been wronged — by a person, a group, or a situation — and it often spins off into anger, bitterness, and indignation. Those emotions can quietly weigh us down, draining energy while doing nothing to heal what hurts. In this episode of It’s Not Therapy, Liana Kerzner opens up about her own personal history and struggles with resentment. With her signature blend of honesty, humour, and thoughtful reflection, Liana explores where resentment comes from, why it lingers, and how it can shape our reactions and relationships if left unchecked. This is not about suppressing feelings or forcing forgiveness. It’s about understanding resentment, connecting with it honestly, and learning how to release the burden it creates — so it stops running your emotional life. A compassionate, relatable conversation for anyone who’s ever felt stuck carrying anger they didn’t ask for — and are finally ready to put down.

In December 2016, Soleiman “Soli” Faqiri, a young man with schizoaffective disorder, was killed by jail guards in an Ontario correctional facility, despite a judge’s order for his transfer to a proper hospital. Bound, restrained with a spit hood, and suffering over 50 injuries, Soli’s death was ruled a homicide. A government inquiry later revealed serious procedural violations and issued recommendations to protect mentally ill prisoners—but two years later, none have been implemented, and no guards have been held accountable. In this episode, Soli’s brother Yusef Faqiri joins Liana to share their family’s fight for justice and systemic change. They discuss ongoing advocacy, the impact on the Faqiri family, and how Canadians can support efforts to reform the corrections system in Soli’s memory through Justice for Soli.

Meep Meep. Run.What can Wile E. Coyote's nemesis the Road Runner tell us about gaining greater control over our lives? A lot! And so can Steven Puri of thesukha.co, an expert in helping people create order from the chaos of daily living. What's your chronotype? Why are you tying yourself in knots to meet the expectations of others? Liana talks to Steven about all of this and more, with simple steps to simplify your life.

Are you tired of being afraid but don’t know how to live any other way? Do you believe that good things never happen to you and the bad things keep finding you? You don’t have to live that way. Liana talks to Riana Malia, creator of the Clear To Create method for high achieving women, about how to change your thinking so you stop being convinced you’re attracting the same type of rotten people again and again, by getting in touch with your own values.

Be a Man! What is a "Man" in 2025? It's a question that has been plaguing men and boys as former rites of passage fade away leaving a void for self-definition - a void too often filled by agents of anger and grievance. Aaron Tait, author of Far Horizons: A Journey From War To Peace, grew-up with a "man's man" father and went off to war after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, beginning a long journey where he re-defined himself was being a man is. Liana's talks to Aaron about his evolution and how his experiences can help inform other men how to feel comfortable and confident in their own definition of masculinity.

STOP!How did you just react to reading that? For some, it's a sign to pump the breaks, for others, it spurs a range of emotions - fear, anger - that increase the velocity of their response. Sound like you or someone you know? Liana talks to certified clinical hypnotherapist Kisha Reynolds about what type of past experiences cause a negative reaction to 'stopping' and what can be done to give you back the reins of your thoughts.

Yes you can! Self-improvement, two simple words that fuel a multi-million dollar industry of books, videos and seminars. But personal growth needn't be expensive or complicated. Liana's friend Bianca of Myself and Comics on YouTube, talks about her journey to self-empowerment, which started from an unexpected place!

Very few people crave conflict (that's a whole other show) and most try to avoid it. But in any healthy relationship - with a friend, family, or partner - conflict naturally occurs and trying to avoid it simply magnifies the scope of the disagreement. Liana uses personal experiences , positive and negative, to talk about how to manage conflict so it stays small and manageable with a healthy outcome for everyone involved.

"Go with The Flow!" - Call it your groove, your mojo, Steven Puri calls it his Flow State, that mental state of peak focus, creativity and energy focused on the task at hand. Flow is a challenge for many remote workers. Steven, a former Hollywood executive, founded The Sukha Company to offer tools and platforms for remote workers to improve focus and productivity. Liana talks to Steven about his journey, the obstacles remote workers may face to enter a Flow state and how to overcome them.

"It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward" - Rocky Balboa.Resilience. No life is without bumps or even crises, it's how we are able to respond to those moments that determines what is next. Resilience isn't something learned at those moments, it's a skill we develop for when we need it, ideally learned in childhood. Clinical Psychologist and mom of twins Dr. Kate Lund, author of Step Away - The Keys to Resilient Parenting, joins Liana to discuss how parents can raise children who can bounce back when life deals them a knock. Plus, steps to build your own resilience in 10 minute exercises.

An artist with autism? Doesn't fit the stereotype, does it? That's because the stereotype is wrong, and Bobby Calloway is living proof. A professional actor and author from Ireland, Bobby joins Liana to discuss the realities of his autism, how he has overcome any challenges his autism has posed, which contains relatable steps that can help all of us overcome obstacles in our lives.Bobby's book, Joanna and the Twelve Crowns, is available on Amazon. https://a.co/d/hRELHsG

With Friends Like These...The Judge, The Glass Cannon, The Quiet Quitter, The Groundhog, The Scorekeeper, The Drama Llama and The Narcissist - these are the 7 Types of Bad Friends. Liana reveals what these terms mean - because she completely made them up - how to spot these people in your life, and how to tell if you yourself fit into one of the categories.

Owning your choices, letting go of guilt, setting achievable goals, reconsidering your biases, being kind to others and yourself, these are steps to better health. They're simple to understand but more challenging to put into action. Liana takes us through some things we can do to make achieving these simple goals easier.

If you think you know what someone with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder looks like...think again. Despite common misconceptions, there may be no physical hallmarks of FASD, leaving people stricken with it to face ignorant, sometimes cruel, comments about their challenges. That's especially tough on people with FASD and their caregivers, yet social stigmas have contributed to public health supports being virtually non-existent.Liana talks with Mary Byrnes-Harrison and Alison Drenikow of Harrison's Hope, both of whom are personally impacted by FASD, about how people can become more aware, kinder, and supportive of those affected by this spectrum condition. FASD awareness day is September 9th, please share your support on social media, and support Harrison's Hope's Silent Auction at harrisonshope.ca

It's no secret that the younger generations - Z, Alpha - are feeling tremendous amounts of anxiety. Some will write them off as over-sensitive, as snowflakes, because "back in my day..." That doesn't wash. Gens Z & Alpha were raised by their parents and by a society that has been able to sabotage their development of the skills and resilience necessary to successfully live a fulfilling life. Liana takes us through 5 of the ways we may be screwing up our kids and teens, and how to make corrections in ourselves to help young people.

He's a radio broadcaster, a news journalist, a podcaster and an author...and he has autism. Some 'experts' would tell you that isn't possible, but Blake "Crash" Priddle is proof that those on the autism spectrum have a wide range of talents and abilities that don't fit popular stereotypes. Liana talks to Blake about his experience growing up with autism and how in many ways it benefited his chosen career. And in talking about Blake's journey, a lot of myths about autism are cast aside.

The term 'narcissist' gets tossed around a lot these days, most often improperly applied to any display of self-esteem. But narcissism isn't about having self-confidence; in fact, despite outward appearances, many narcissists suffer from low self-esteem. Liana helps identify what healthy self-confidence is, and isn't, and how to spot and deal with a narcissist.

A new look at a listener-favourite topic! Can gaslighting be accidental? In short, yes.Gaslighting occurs when someone tries to make you deny what you've seen, heard or experienced in favour of their versions. Sounds pretty deliberate, right? Not always.Liana takes us through how to tell the difference between intentional and accidental gaslighting, whether you are the one sending or receiving, and what to do about it.

Aggression: everyone feels it sometimes. It can be motivating, but it can also be destructive. Inspired by seeing the Superman movie twice over the weekend, Liana goes through how aggression works, why it can be destructive, and how to turn it toward more positive outcomes for you and the people around you.

Truth, Justice and a Better Tomorrow...Do those principles seem a bit hokey to you? A bit dated? They do for some people. But why? Why is the desire to stand for honesty, fairness and optimism derided as being stale and "Woke"? The new Superman movie has risked restoring Clark Kent to a symbol and hope of the kindness we are all capable of. It's a litmus test of our times - will audiences relate to it or reject it? Liana talks about the dysfunction behind the "Cruel is Cool" attitude driving political movements and how Superman's history as a character represents the challenges we all face to be our best selves at a time when kindness is mocked as foolishness.

The statistics are shocking - men are facing a plague of loneliness, depression and mental health issues, made worse by societal messaging that tells them to bottle it up. Liana talks to returning guest Avrum Weiss, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men's Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships, about the crises men are facing, how they developed and what can be done to repair the damage.

There's a difference between doing something nice for someone as a nice gesture of love or friendship and doing it hoping to influence the recipient. In the first situation, your reward is in the doing; in the second, the reward you hope for may not happen leading to anger, sadness or depression. That's called People Pleasing Behaviour and it often backfires spectacularly. Liana takes us through her own journey from PPB, what she learned along the way about herself and why she is happier without it.

Lots of people, especially these days, have experienced ghosting - when someone in your social or business circle just vanishes without explanation, ending all communication. And that can be more scary than a literal haunting. Using her own experiences, past and recent, Liana talks about why people may ghost you, why it can hurt so much and how to move on.

Adulting' is the idea that being an adult is something you do, not something you are, and some younger people are having trouble handling the requirements. Liana talks about facing the challenges, real and imagined, for grown-ups who haven't grown-up.

"Let me explain...and explain...and explain"Everyone wants to be understood - or maybe more importantly, not be misunderstood. But there are times when explaining actually gets in the way of being understood. Liana talks about 'over-explaining', why it happens, how it clouds your message and how to take control of your words.

Liana has been a television and radio host, a model, does public speaking, weekday YouTube videos and It's Not Therapy, so you may find it hard to believe that she's very much an introvert. At least, if you don't really understand introverts, and most extroverts don't! Liana breaks down the barriers to understanding with 10 Things Extroverts Do That Really Bug Introverts!

It's an unfortunate fact that the heated rhetoric of modern politics has had a negative effect on our mental health. The level of anger, hostility and division in the air has damaged or ended relationships and fractured families. It makes many of us want to curl up into a ball. Liana walks us through the motivations behind the rancor and how we can process it and get past it. And it all starts with an angry Kenny Rogers lookalike.