PODCAST · society
It's So Hard
by Tess Lyrez
I'm Tess Lyrez, a Western Australia–based and touring Ȿ:/ 𝒲₃ᵣ. Listen in as I chat with guests about life in and around the Ȿ₃* industry. Website - softermedia.net
Episodes
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115. Silencing within Orgs feat. Nat Tang, Chloe Durand, Stuart Venables, and Gemma Frances: "Stop being a hack brutha..."
"The movement is not found in the four walls of just one organisation. And if you are the sort of person who is prone to speaking out — sometimes against your own self-interest, just on the basis that it's the right thing to do — you will find that your capacity for change is not bound to one...
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Moments: Me on Making Emotional Labour Visible - with thanks Sabah & Pris (links in notes)
This moment was recorded LIVE as part of Consent Conversations at Smut Club. The rest of this discussion is coming soon. Many thanks to Sabah and Pris for deepening my understanding of consent and emotional labour. This conversation couldn't fully capture my mistakes in the deleted episode or the...
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Moments: V on Decrim 4 Dummies
Decrim 4 Dummies is a workshop by V from Decrim WA. This 101 entry-level session breaks down everything you need to know about the SW laws in unceded, so-called Western Australia - and beyond. Tickets to Decrim 4 Dummies (live episode) Tickets to Consent Conversations (live episode) Smut Club...
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113. The Future of the NDIS feat. Sunyal Maroo: "It's politics 101..."
"If you don't have any connection to disability from your own life, it's very easy to not understand it." -Sunyal Maroo Sunyal Maroo was born with Ataxic Cerebral Palsy and began experiencing debilitating chronic nerve pain at the age of 17. He has forged a career that leverages his lived...
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112. Reflections on the Decrim Movement (2024) feat. Lua, Mercy, and V: "The translation error..."
"The decriminalisation, the advocacy, the work is for everyone, and therefore it should be designed with everyone in mind..." -Mercy Recorded 12th May 2024 Coming soon... Mercy and Lua are bringing Smut Club to Naarm/Melbourne! Workshops for WA-based sex workers - @decrimwa Follow for updates -...
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111. Reflections on the Decrim Movement (2023) feat. Lua and Mercy: "The girlboss image thing..."
"I think, unequivocally, in my opinion, that eugenics, ableism, the whorearchy, and decriminalisation are in an intrinsic ecology. Disabled rights are sex workers' rights. Sex workers' rights are disability rights. It is all interconnected..." -Lua Recorded 30th April 2023 Follow on Instagram for...
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110. Trans Rights and The Law feat. V and Joni Boyd: "What laws could be passed to make things better?"
"I'd say the biggest problem faced by the queer community in this country is homelessness..." -Joni Boyd On 10th January 2024, Misty Farquhar from Rainbow Futures WA dropped an opinion piece in The West Australian about state Labor's commitments to enact change for the local LGBTQIA+ community,...
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109. The Angry Episode (re-released) part 1
"Today is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers..." This episode was initially released on 16/12/2021. Mentions: Jasmin Raat Ki Raani - @currypawrn on Instagram Spotify: "Migrant Sex Workers of Colour: We Are Here To Take Up Space" on Race Matters podcast Listen online: "Migrant…
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108. Everyday Transphobia feat. V and Joni Boyd: "It's a lot of emotional labour..."
"I find myself being very cautious when it comes to other people's expectations - especially uncommunicated expectations - of what they want from me as a trans sex worker." -V Follow on Instagram - V @puppygirlfemboy, Joni Boyd @checkout_chick463 Contains explicit descriptions. Mentions - Decrim…
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106. Being Trans in this Economy feat. V and Joni Boyd: "She was fired on the spot..."
"We're both facing looking for work as out trans women now, and that's something that neither of us have dealt with before." -Joni Boyd Follow on Instagram - V @puppygirlfemboy, Joni Boyd @checkout_chick463, Contains explicit descriptions. Mentions - Decrim WA and Indymedia It's So Hard is…
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105. Sex Work and Disability feat. Lua and Mercy: "I have to hide what I do from my medical team..."
"I think, unequivocally, in my opinion, that eugenics, ableism, the whorearchy, and decriminalisation are in an intrinsic ecology. Disabled rights are sex workers' rights. Sex workers' rights are disability rights. It is all interconnected..." -Lua Follow on Instagram for updates - @littlelua.s...
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104. Neurodiversity and Trauma feat. Lua and Mercy: "Let me have my headphones..."
Lua and Mercy chat about neurodiversity and late ADHD/autism diagnoses. Lua touches on the grief of wishing they knew sooner and Mercy shares how their relationship with masking shifted over time. We'll continue this conversation in episode 105 by exploring the intersection between sex work and...
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103. Child Sexual Abuse: "No shade on white vans..."
Before we peel back the layers of Child Sexual Abuse, what exactly is CSA? What did it mean for Jenn? And how does it still impact her life? Lifeline 13 11 14 13YARN (for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander folks) 13 92 76 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 Bravehearts 1800…
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102. Sex Work and The Law feat. Ariela Moscowitz and Isidoro Rodriguez: "Why are we policing sex?"
Ariela Moscowitz and Isidoro Rodriguez discuss the definition of sex work, who enters the industry, and the power of stigmas. Ariela unpacks the 4 legal models that govern sex workers all over the world: criminalisation, legalisation, the Nordic model, and decriminalisation. Ariela is the…
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101. Welcome to Season 3: "Have you heard of Shirley Finn?"
Tess gives an overview of Shirley Finn's story. We discuss Shirley's pressures and motivations, including but not limited to sex work. It was beyond the scope of this episode to track Shirley's interactions with individual detectives and politicians. However, it is worth exploring. See links…
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100. Where to Next? "The mistake of overfocusing on sex work..."
In this episode, we explore the fragile relationships between sex work representation, confidentiality, and intersectionality. We also discuss the future of It's So Hard. Contains explicit sexual descriptions. Mentions - Progressive Therapeutic Collective, Isidoro Rodriguez, Joni Boyd, and Decrim...
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99. Reflections on It's So Hard: "Your relationship with the podcast is different from mine..."
Lil Hoe asked, "What are you most grateful for that has come out of starting a podcast together?" Contains explicit sexual descriptions. Hosts - Jenn and Tess Louise® Website - itssohard.info Music - "No Justice", The Empress 2021 by Lil Hoe S2:E99
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98. Boundary Queen: "So I got in a fight with a surgeon..."
After a stressful run-in with the medical system as a fat person, Jenn chats about self-advocacy and moving through her freeze/fawn responses. Contains explicit sexual descriptions. Hosts - Jenn and Tess Louise® Website - itssohard.info Music - "No Justice", The Empress 2021 by Lil Hoe S2:E98
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97. The Death of George Pell: "He would trample on victims..."
It's fair to say we've both had a bit on and we've got a bit to say in ep 97 of It's So Hard, a podcast about the sex industry and other sexy things... Jenn and Tess discuss the death of George Pell and it's impact across victim-survivor communities. Jenn shares her recent learning about advocacy...
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96. New Year's Non-Resolutions: "Life is SO changeable!"
We're into 2023 for ep 96 of It's So Hard, a podcast about the sex industry and other sexy things. Jenn and Tess chat about all things "resolutions", and how we're both embracing the chaos of life and trying to be okay with things that are unresolved! Jenn also shares a family rant and we shout…
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95. Consent Thought Experiments: "What would Jenn do?"
We get creative for ep 95 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry... and other sexy things. After our discussion last week about sex education in schools and the importance of modelling balanced conversations about sex, Tess got inspired. She created a thought…
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94. Sex Education in Schools: "What's your perspective on dry-humping?"
Let's talk about sex, baby! Welcome to an educational and empassioned ep 94 of It's So Hard, a podcast about the sex industry and other sexy things. This week, Jenn and Tess discuss sex and relationship education from a few different angles. They recount their own experiences, and Jenn shares a...
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93. Behind the Lehrmann Trial: "This is a systems issue..."
We're chatting current events and change in ep 93 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry and other sexy things. Recorded on Friday the 2nd of December in the wake of a signficant national news story, Jenn and Tess talk about some of the legislative and procedural...
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92. Decrim Abortion in WA: "We would also like it to be more accessible..."
We have a slight ASMR tinge to ep 92 of It's So Hard, a podcast about sex, relationships, the sex industry, mental health and other life stuff! Jenn is out of hospital and provides a mental health update while also trying to be discreet in a local library... quite a task! We also discuss the...
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91. Personas, Talk Jobs and Men's Mental Health feat. Lena Van Hale: "It's not our battle..."
Welcome to ep 91 of It's So Hard, a podcast where a civvy and a SWer chat about life in and around the sex industry. We welcome back SWer advocate and manager of Magenta, Lena Van Hale to chat about navigating performance and personas at work, the unique and often unrecognised labour of talk...
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90. Police Sexual Misconduct feat. Isidoro Rodriguez: "The culture is so insidious..."
Welcome to ep 90 of It's So Hard, a podcast about the sex industry and other sexy things. This week, Tess chats with Isidoro Rodriguez, criminal justice journalist and deputy editor for The Crime Report and host of The Crime Report podcast. We cover Izzy's discussion with Ariela Moscowitz from...
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89. Sex Work and Art feat. Lil Hoe: "I had a booking with a really good rapper..."
Lil Hoe is a full-service sex worker and rapper. She chats about her creative process, the threat of being outed in Queensland, and the challenges sex workers face when collaborating with non-sex workers. Contains explicit sexual descriptions. Hosts - Jenn and Tess Louise® Website…
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88. Squirting on Command feat. Little Red: "So I was going through my slut phase..."
Welcome to Ep 88 of It's So Hard, a podcast about sex work and other sexy things. We're excited to welcome back fellow ex-churchie and FSSW Little Red! We raise the question of whether we are "ourselves" at work. We chat about various relationships with fantasies, including Tess's 10-yr...
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86. Going Private Part 2 feat. Juno: "I believe that we create experiences..."
Welcome to part 2 of our chat with the fantastic Juno about going private for ep 86 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. Tess, Jenn and Juno enjoy some drinks and snacks while chatting about Juno's experience of moving from brothel to private work. Tess and Juno...
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85. The Whorearchy Part 2: "It's like being tourist in a different class..."
Welcome to part 2 of our group chat about the whorearchy for ep 85 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. We welcome back Pro Domme Liv, Jenn's mum Pet, poet and proud transwoman Joni and pole dancer Lacey to finish off our group discussion about whorephobia. We…
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84. Whistleblowing feat. Vivienne Harlow: "Shall we call this brothel owner Cruella?"
Sex worker Vivienne Harlow opens up about her bad experience at a brothel. She chats about mpox, revenge porn, and stealthing. Sex workers need to access working rights, and here's why. Contains explicit sexual descriptions. Hosts - Jenn and Tess Louise® Website - itssohard.info Music - "No...
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83. Casual Sex Experts feat. Georgie Wolf: "We had a 2-hour fuckathon!"
We're excited to welcome back Georgie Wolf to It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. Tess, Georgie and Jenn chat about the need for better s^x ed, the expertise that SWers bring to their bookings and the power of eroticism. We also cover doubles, couples and why…
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82. Productivity and a Psych Ward: "Just buy the dildo!"
We're coming to you from somewhere a little different this week on It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. This week, we cover mental health, changing meds, productivity and why capitalism totally sucks! We also discuss curious civvies, the various circumstances that…
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81. Brothel and Parlour Work feat. Lil Hoe: "Life is a brothel!"
We're so excited that we're a day early for ep 81 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. We're joined by FSSW, rapper and all round fantastic human Lil Hoe. We chat about structures and experiences of brothel and parlour work across different Australian states, how...
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80. HepatitisWA feat. Donna and Ali: "You don't have to get off the gear to receive treatment..."
It's World Hepatitis Day and we want to mark it for ep 80 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. We were so lucky to be hosted by HepatitisWA to chat with Donna and Ali about fighting BBV stigma, busting myths about hepatitis and breaking down health system barriers...
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79. The Whorearchy Part 1: "What you earn and how you work impacts the amount of whorephobia you face..."
It's a group session for ep 79 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry! Tess and Jenn are joined by Pro Domme Liv, Jenn's mum Pet, spoken word poet and proud trans woman Joni and pole dancer Lacey (and 4-6 pets!) to chat about whorephobia, patriachy, women's place and...
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77. Fuck the System feat. Old Pros, New York: "Our stories matter!"
We're unbelievably honoured to be joined by Kaytlin Bailey of New York-based sex work nonprofit Old Pros for ep 77 of It's So Hard. Kaytlin is the founder and executive director of Old Pros, and a fellow pod host of the educative and entertaining af podcast, The Oldest Profession. We caught up…
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76. Mouthy Broads: "What's my prognosis re. deep throating?"
We're all storytime for ep 76 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry! Jenn and Tess have had some busy days this week, and we invite listeners along as we discuss medical appointments, difficult work decisions, crying in public and the revelation that Jenn has a...
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US Abortion Rights Overturned: "It's not a debate to us, it's real life..."
Jenn and Tess got onto Zoom yesterday afternoon to have an convo that many, many people with uteruses are having across the world this weekend. Forgive the muffled recording, this wasn't a planned record. We thought we'd share our initial reflections on the revocation of rights, why a legislative...
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75. Going Private Part 1 feat. Juno: "The glittery walk of shame..."
We may be 2 days late but we make up for it by bringing back a listener fave for ep 75 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. Juno is back!!! And, naturally, they bring premium vibes as they share their process of moving from broth to private work. We also chat…
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74. Decrim QLD: "Institutions like this LOVE wanky titles..."
We get legislative on ep 74 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry! Jenn recounts her first ever fun, sexy flashback and shares some exciting recent purchases. Tess and Jenn then talk about the QLD decrim campaign, law reform and how the whole process have given Tess…
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73. Brothel Diaries Part 6: "Either way, it's a finger in the ear!"
We enjoy a bit of a throwback for ep 73 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. This week, we chat about Jenn's ADHD diagnosis, productivity dramas and the nuances of sexting services. Tess also dives back into her brothel diaries for a well-handled broken condom and…
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72. Values-Based Publishing feat. Ruby Summers: "Okay, what else is possible?"
We're so excited to welcome another iconic guest to ep 72 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. Former stripper, academic and SWer zine creator Ruby Summers joins us to talk all things publishing! Ruby shares the process of developing the fantastic TOS Journal, we...
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71. Know Thyself feat. Georgie Wolf: "The work of being a great client..."
Another heavy hitter guest for ep 71 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. We welcome author (The Art of the Hook Up), podcaster (The Satisfaction Project) and FSSW Georgie Wolf to the pod! We talk client resources, self-awareness, duty of care in the industry and...
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69. 69-ing and Tit Journies: "Close your eyes and picture an upside down dick!"
We cover a lot of ground in ep 69 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. This week, we talk Jenn's ADHD progress, the psychology and logistics behind 69-ing, how body type impacts how we're sexualised and the very different boob challenges we both face! Join our…
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68. Sexy Tidbits from Jenn: "Look, a lot went wrong there..."
We got a little impromptu this week on It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. Tess and Jenn are finally in the same city, so we've been busy with upcoming guests and other fun projects that we have to be secretive about for now. This week, we fangirl over other SW-led...
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67. First Times: "Just out here trying to have a hump!"
We're talking about firsts on ep 67 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. This week, Tess and Jenn delve into the the "virginity" conversation, mull over facilitating firsts and fantasies and we manage to solve the mystery of Jenn's church porn fantasy! Join our...
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66. Advocacy and Aftercare feat. Liv: "I swipe myself to sleep!"
Can you believe we're back for ep 66 of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry?! We're stoked to talk again with ProDomme, sex work advocate and all round fabulous person Liv! Liv shares her experiences in navigating advocacy, developing aftercare processes both...
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65. Our Origin Story: "We have time for some dick stuff if you want..."
We get a little nostalgic for the 65th ep of It's So Hard, a podcast about life in and around the sex industry. Tess and Jenn head back in time to talk through the origins of our podcast, our friendship story, our current identity crises and why sleeping in on a Sunday morning is an orgasmic...
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63. Stripping feat. 50 Plus a Tip: "Cheers and woos don't pay our bills!"
We're going international this week on ep 63 of It's So Hard, the podcast about life in and around the sex industry. We welcome Danica and Riley from the fab Canadian podcast 50 Plus a Tip! They're both strippers with a whole range of other experiences in the sex industry, and we chat about club...
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does It's So Hard have?
It's So Hard currently has 114 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is It's So Hard about?
I'm Tess Lyrez, a Western Australia–based and touring Ȿ:/ 𝒲₃ᵣ. Listen in as I chat with guests about life in and around the Ȿ₃* industry. Website - softermedia.net
How often does It's So Hard release new episodes?
It's So Hard publishes regularly with 114 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to It's So Hard?
You can listen to It's So Hard on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts It's So Hard?
It's So Hard is created and hosted by Tess Lyrez.
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