Left of Normal with Scott Sery

We're about in the middle of Autism Awareness Month, and there's a bit more of a buzz this year than I've seen in years past.  Perhaps more people are vocal online. So, we'll take a look at what this month means to actually autistic people, and we'll challenge, head on, the "symbol" of autism - the puzzle piece. In this episode I look at where it came from, what it means, and why a lot of people in the autism community don't really like it.  We'll look at the good aspects, the negative, and why the latest iteration, developed by Autism Speaks, is, essentially, rubbish. We look at what a better representation actually is, and then conclude with what autism awareness month should be about, but isn't.

I don't always overthink things, but when I do, I catastrophize. Just kidding, it's almost always overthinking.  Today's episode looks into the typical pattern of how the overthinking turns into catastrophizing. I relay some quotes I read earlier this week, tell a couple of stories about what my brain has come up with recently (including a shout out to my Turo account - if you need a nice truck to drive around in while you're in Billings, please let me know so I can rent you my vehicle). We'll conclude with some tips on how to reduce the stress, anxiety, and catastrophizing in your life.

Today we get to hear from an expert in the field of Autism. Dr. Cravens has a PhD with an autism focus.  Her training has allowed her to help with those all across the spectrum.  Today, she has a therapy practice where she, and other neurodivergent therapists, help people no matter what they're struggling with. Through the years she has found that one thing stands out: increased compassion and empathy for others makes the world a whole lot better. Tune in and hear her take, what she knows about the #autism spectrum, and find out why it's so hard for people to get a diagnosis these days. Pick up her recently released book, Positive Parenting Strategies Workbook and you can follow her on her social media and websites: Instagram Facebook Website

Today we're diving into the world of emotions.  We'll take a look at why Left of Normal people tend to come across as having no empathy.  We'll also take a peek at the difference between the two different kinds of empathy. We'll get into a little bit on what it's like to feel emotions but not understand, or be able to describe, what's being felt.  It gives a bit of an insight into what those on the autism spectrum go through internally. Wrapping up, we look at the two acceptable sleep positions.   #autism #asd #alexithymia

Our guest today has one simple message: don't be stagnant. Whatever happens in life, no matter if you feel down or up, keep learning, keep reading, and keep moving forward.  Joshua Smith grew up on the spectrum, but didn't know he was on the spectrum.  Looking back he no sees all of the different aspects that were thought to be impairments as signs that he is Left of Normal. Today, he's helping others with Autism overcome their self-limiting beliefs and to move forward. You can find him online: Facebook: Your Speaking Voice LinkedIn: Your Speaking Voice Your Speaking Voice Website

There's a whole lot of information out there about how to parent an autistic child. There's not a lot of information out there about parenting as someone on the autism spectrum. Even when you try to find information about parenting while autistic, you come across parents of autistic children. Today, we look at what it's like to be a parent while on the spectrum. The Left of Normal parent has a number of other hurdles and obstacles to overcome, but there are also strengths that come with being on the spectrum and having kids. I feel like I made a lot of good jokes in here too, so there's that.

Today's 'cast has a guest: Amy Taylor. Amy's daughter was diagnosed with autism, but not until many years after she was suspected.  The reason is, in my opinion, rather ridiculous. But it brings up a bigger issue: why are girls less likely to be diagnosed? Tune in and let's ponder it. You can follow Amy on her social media accounts, or check out her website and podcast. Facebook LinkedIn Advancing with Amy

After a couple of busy weeks, this episode wasn't going to happen... but then it did. Today we look at the unmasked college years.  Times when I could just be weird, and be me, and not worry about trying to fit into what the world thought I should be like.  It was an era of painted fingernails, different hair colors, strange clothing, no shoes, and more. So, let's take a look back at the college days, and reminisce about Power Puff Girls.

Today's episode has a guest joining us. Kadin was diagnosed as autistic when he was 2 years old.  Throughout his life he was told his "disability" was going to set him back and he would never amount to much.  Time and again, he was able to prove everyone wrong. Today he shares insights on how he has found success, the challenges he sees, and tells us all about how the power of positivity is the only way we can all succeed as humans. You can find Kadin and read his writing in these places: Facebook Instagram The Sports Column Home School Counseling Network The Everyday Fan

Many Left of Normal individuals prefer to be alone the majority of the time.  There are some obvious reasons, and some others that we'll explore in this episode. While we wrap things up with the benefits of intentional solitude, the opposite is true too.  If isolation and being alone comes easy, then shake things up with intentional socialization. Parents of autistic children, discover how to make room time an opportunity instead of a punishment.

Autistic meltdowns, as portrayed by Hollywood, involve what look like toddler temper-tantrums. But that's not always how reactions to being overstimulated occur.  Some meltdowns are quiet, some are passive, and some come across as a lot of anger. The difference is that the rage from a tantrum is targeted and manipulative; the rage from a meltdown is (to an extent) uncontrollable and the brain reverting to a more base nature as it resets. Get in on the rage fest with this episode about meltdowns and anger.  PS I'm trying something different, by moving the title to the front and the episode number to the end, perhaps more people will be able to see this.

Some Left of Normals are great planners.  Some are terrible planners.  I love planning.  I love planning to make plans.  My plans include planning other plans and organizing and systematizing. One of the areas where I love plans and organization is in travel.  I'll even create mock travel plans for vacations I know I will never take. Today's episode looks at the link between #autism and making these plans, as well as the hyperfixation that comes with them.

Among the neurospicy folks, there are many that struggle with executive functioning skills. These skills are the decision making processes, the ability to stay on task, remember what needs 'membered, and the ability to be self-driven. When the skills are lacking, it's called executive dysfunction.  This episode looks into what that dysfunction looks like among the #autism community and how to (sort of) overcome it.

Often those who are Left of Normal are labeled as "gifted."  In my case it was the result of just doing the work as told - I was told to get the work done, so I put my head down and got the work done.  As a result, I learned a bunch of stuff. After school, and into adulthood, however, things got less clear.  They weren't as easy as "put your head down and get the work done."  Struggles ensue, and many of those who kicked ass in their youth, now are burnt out and struggle with anxiety, depression, and more. Tune in and see how #autism affects burnout and what to do so you don't set your kids up to struggle later in life.

Running a business can be difficult.  But it's considerably easier than working for someone else. Finding a job as a Left of Normal is excruciating.  Landing a job is even harder.  Creating your own job has a whole different set of hurdles, but some that can be overcome with the right resources in place. Today's episode talks about what it takes to run a business as a Left of Normal, and what those hurdles are that we face - and how anyone can help their business owner, professional, and entrepreneur friends with very little effort and time.

Today's 'cast dives into three phrases that many of us hear quite often.  The intention behind them is to help inspire, or to encourage one to do better, but the words given are really not that good. Many of these are nonsensical to not just those on the Autism Spectrum, or with some other neurospicy divergency, but also to those who are normies.  I believe the difference is that the normies somehow know the true meaning behind them - still unclear on that part though. Leave a comment.  Are there any other quips and phrases that you hear often that have minimal meaning behind them?

I recently had knee surgery.  I don't see it so much as going through surgery, but upgrading from factory defaults. Today's episode goes through the badassery that led to this current surgery.  How the injury started, how it progressed, and where I am today. Through it all I have maintained my awesomeness - likely even increased awesomeness considerably.

Resolutions are whack. This episode looks at why those resolutions are whack, what you can do to make better resolutions, goals, commitments, etc. etc. and all of that New Year New Me stuff. We'll also spend some time on New Year's parties.  Why those on the Autism spectrum don't care for them, and what some of us Left of Normal's like to do this time of year.

Compassion has to be learned.  Those on the Autism spectrum, however, have a little harder time learning it.  While normies can often just pick things up, it's a conscious effort for those that are Left of Normal. Does that struggle give the LoN a pass to not have to show as much compassion?  If they fail to learn it, do they deserve less compassion coming to them? How about siblings, should parents favor the Left of Normal child over the normie children?  Should siblings be required to show compassion to each other regardless of where they fall on the spectrum? All these questions and more are discussed in this episode!

Let's take a look back and identify some of the spectrum traits that went unnoticed.  From lining items up, to uncomfortable clothing, to making and keeping friends, today's episode picks out some things from my childhood that I now see as early identifiers of being Left of Normal. Recognizing these traits early on can help create a better living environment for your child that may be on the Autism spectrum. Modern psychology is better at identifying younger kids who happen to have ASD, but it starts with awareness in the home.  Notice the traits and support them.

Often, those who are Left of Normal prefer to communicate in writing.  There are a number of reasons, not the least of which it's easier to know when it's your turn to "talk." For me, it spills out into other areas of my life in addition to merely communication.  I turned my ability to write clearly into a career. In this episode I give a shout out to my friend Shane Fichter.  Shane used journaling to help hone his mindset.  He used this to help bring him from a life of addiction, to a life of inspiration.  Check him out on social media, or find him at https://havocmindset.com/ to learn more about his journey and how he can teach you to use journaling like this. We go through a lot more, check it out!

It's Thanksgiving-ish time!  This 'cast was posted the day after Turkey Day, so it's a little untimely. But the concepts are still there, the stories still applicable, and the ideas can flow from Thanksgiving into Christmas. These times can be stressful on a lot of people, whether they are on the Autism spectrum or not.  For those who do live with ASD, they can be especially stressful as routines are changed, mushy food is served, and expectations vary. For those who are Left of Normal, or those who have a Left of Normal family member, check out some of the holiday tips to get through with your sanity intact.

Today we have a guest on the 'cast.  I met Suzie DeBar a number of years ago through a networking group I was part of.  She was starting a new business around the same time I started mine, and we were able to support each others' growth. A few years ago I had the opportunity to write her family story in a magazine that I was helping with run by Aubrey Kincaid - whom I call "obnoxious" in this episode. Today, Suzie has shifted her focus to NLP coaching.  Where she helps people break down the mental barriers that are keeping them from their goals.  It's fascinating and could very much benefit the autistic and ADHD community. Along with NLP we discuss her experiences with people on the spectrum, we have a couple stories about people on the autism spectrum who were training clients and how she noticed a specific way to to train them that created instant engagement. Find Suzie on Facebook, or check out her website: https://www.dbcoachandtrain.com/ to learn more about her and what she does.

There's a myth out there that autistic people don't feel empathy.  That's not quite true, it's really that most Left of Normal folks don't know how to express empathy. Then, there's the idea of sympathy.  Where often sympathy is shown, when empathy is needed. Wrap those up together with an action plan, and you get compassion. Now, how does self-compassion play into this empathy, sympathy, compassion conundrum?  Today's 'cast dives into how it all should look and how those on the spectrum can get stuck in a self-pity loop when they need to bust free with self-compassion.

I have never been hugely into sports - not organized stuff anyway.  But today's guest is all about them.  Possibly the sportsiest nut I know.  Mitch Bohn, however, has a unique perspective due to his situation.   Today's episode gets into Mitch's positive view on life, how he ended up in the broadcast/podcast world, where he hopes to go in life, and why he's into sports.  We talk about his interactions with those on the spectrum and some of the insights he has learned over the years.   In the episode we talk about his podcasts.  You can check out Wide Left Sports (by clicking the name, it's hyperlinked), or Chin Music with Mitch and Tony (again, clicky clicky, that one is actually on YouTube).   Follow Kickin' It with Leif on Facebook as well as Adventures in Heels with Leah - or check out www.985wolf.com between 7am and 9am to hear Leif's show and 11 - 1 for Leah's.

This podcast is all about Autism Spectrum Disorder.  But there are many traits that are similar to ADHD - despite these two being seemingly at odd with each other. Recently the idea of AuDHD started to pop up more and more.  While ADHD and Autism comorbidity aren't new concepts, they're being understood more and more.  And from what I've found out, ADHD doesn't necessarily manifest as hyper and out of control. Let's take a look at how these two play together, and how they show up in real life.

In our family we have two Left of Normal and one normie.  Sometimes the dynamics can get a little weird. Over the years it has been a learning curve to understand different communication styles.  But as we all grow together we learn what we are trying to say and how to say it. Jessica and Holden come on as guests in this family episode of Left of Normal.

We all have some of those little things that we love to get lost in.  For those with autism, however, our reasons can be a little different. Hyperfixations are short-term dives into topics, activities, or something that can completely distract us from real life.  Fixating on them allows the body and mind to reset and calm down. Today's episode looks at what they are, how the present themselves, the end result and goal, and how you can encourage those around you who have ASD to use their fixations in a healthy manner.

Many people wonder if it's okay to ask someone if they're autistic.  So, I decided to tackle this question and take a look at motives, reasons, and methods of asking. Today, I'll share some of the tips how you can approach the subject, and some of the reasons why you might not want to go there.  I'll lay it all out there on how I would feel if you asked if I was autistic today, 10 years ago, or 20 years ago. I'll let you in on a secret: there's nothing wrong with wondering if someone is Left of Normal.  Often there's nothing wrong with asking.  Most people will mess up the approach though.

Social expectations are (largely) unwritten rules created by a society to help keep everything flowing properly and helping everyone get along. The problem is they assume a specific skill set - a set that the majority of people have. Most people don't need training for it, they just intuitively know how to navigate following these expectations or norms. For some, such as those on the autism spectrum, with ADHD, or another neurodivergent way of thinking, those expectations need to be learned.  But nobody teaches them, we just have to figure them out on our own.

Episode 118 talked about why the jobs suck.  This episode we get into why entrepreneurship is often a better idea for those who are on the spectrum. I'll go through the five considerations of what happens at a traditional job, and how being self-employed circumvents those sucky situations. There are, however, some parts of being entrepreneur that are difficult, and some of those difficulties are compounded by being Left of Normal.  We'll talk about that, and another episode in the future will get into how autism plays a deleterious role.

This was going to be an episode on how those with autism manage the world of being an entrepreneur, running a business, and lead teams or groups... but setting the stage took a bit longer than expected, so entrepreneurship will come next week. In this episode we take a gander at a variety of jobs that I had, and why they all sucked.  Why I bombed interviews if I could even get an interview, and why I allowed myself to be walked all over when I was in my 20's. Because jobs are rarely spectrum friendly, and interviews are by nature discriminatory against those on the spectrum, it's estimated that 80% of autistics are unemployed or underemployed. Next week's episode will discuss how to beat the system, stick it to the man (by becoming the man), and work in a capacity that is in line with the neurodivergent mind.

There are a ton of myths out there around autism (not dissimilar to most, well, everything in the world).  The myths are about what causes the condition, how do you "cure" it, and more. Why do they persist?  Why do people continue to perpetuate them?  And better yet, what's the truth? This episode we talk about vaccines and autism, how to discover if you (or a child) are on the spectrum, as well as diagnoses and more.

Nature is a fantastic way to help neurodivergent minds navigate the world.  For me, it's because nature is safe, predictable, and exciting. Studies show that being immersed in nature is great for everyone - it's the Japanese concept of Shinrin Yoku - but especially for those with ASD and ADHD. Today, we're talking about an upcoming adventure: climbing Granite Peak - Montana's highest point.  Holden will be going along and hopefully he will conquer the mountain at just 10 years old. By the time most listen to this we will have summited, or died trying... okay, maybe we won't die trying, but you get the point.

A lot of people love to bemoan how hard parenting is.  Yes, it can be difficult at times. If you're on the Autism Spectrum, and you're a parent, do you feel there are certain challenges to overcome? As a Left of Normal parent, I found some aspects were quite easy - especially the parts where I just played with a baby all day long.  Other aspects are quite difficult - such as where processes and rules are completely ignored. Today we look at some parenting woes, wins, and what to dos.

Those on the spectrum can be really annoying sometimes.   And we often know that we're annoying.  The problem arises with the fact that we can't really control it - many of those annoying traits and quirks for those on the autism spectrum are largely outside of their control.   So what do you do when a Left of Normal is annoying you?  Let's talk about that.

A listener chimed in recently and asked about boundaries, especially with children on the spectrum.  I pondered it a bit, and realized that for a long time my own boundaries were rubbish. The problem was that trying to please too many people meant not caring for myself. Of course, now that I have set those boundaries, I tend to come off as rude, standoffish, and arrogant. Today we'll look at how Left of Normal folks set boundaries, how we see boundaries in the normies, and some ideas on how to encourage Left of Normal children to understand them, set, and respect them.

Today we have a guest on the podcast who really knows his stuff when it comes to leadership.   Dave Nordel spent 30 years in the Air Force.  During that time he learned a ton of valuable lessons on leading others, investing in people, and helping everyone grow and do better.  He has a passion for mental health and ensuring that people who need a little boost get the boost they're looking for.   Whether you believe you're a leader or not, the truth is that you have it in you to guide and inspire others.  Follow Dave to learn more, buy his first book "Giving Back!" and his upcoming second book "When the Cows Lie Down"  You can find Dave via the links below: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-nordel-85265246/ https://maxfabconsulting.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Giving-Back-Leadership-Combat-Beyond-ebook/dp/B0C51SSW2B  

Lack of impulse control plagues a number of neurodivergent people.  ADHD folks are especially prone to following the impulse to get that little dopamine hit. Left of Normal people are prone to impulses as well.  Often our impulses are less manic and crazy outbursts, and more stim activities. Today, we're looking at impulsivity, impulse control, and how to help our impulsive children on the autism spectrum to rein themselves in as they feel the impulses but can control them.  

Today we have a guest on the show, Genie Love is a Neurodiversity coach.  She helps businesses and individuals create a better, safer, and more productive workplace for everyone - those who are left, normies, and right.  With a Master's degree in educational leadership, as well as degrees in physical therapy and teaching, she has plenty of experience with those on the spectrum and across a wide swath of ages.   She talks about how she works with people, what to look for, and how to make your workplace more accommodating to everyone regardless of where they fall on the autism spectrum, or if they have other neurodivergencies like ADHD.   To learn more about her, hit up her website: www.genielove.coach   You can also find her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/genie-love-beyond-coaching/   Or send an email to [email protected]

We have a split podcast today.  I host part of it, Holden hosts part of it.   We'll talk about friendships, some of the struggles to make friends, what happens when friends aren't around.   We don't get into too much of the psychology behind having friends, why everyone needs some, and the benefits of it all, that's certainly something worth pursuing in a later episode that talks about autism and friendships.  Today, we'll just cover how a Left of Normal child, and a Left of Normal adult make friends, how we feel when friends are lost, and why they're important to us.

There are some things that normies do... or rather don't do... that don't entirely make a lot of sense.  It's not that hard to understand these concepts, and not hard to "do it the right way" but there's an insistence on a different way.   This episode is a bit discombobulated.  Please don't downvote it even though it might be the worst episode I've uploaded yet.   Love you, mean it.

As a Left of Normal, I find myself being more logical in decision making.  This means that money money management has never really been much of an issue.  Not all of us are like that, some tend to get a bit more confused with things like money. Today we'll go through how my brain processes money decisions, and how a recent money event tried to disrupt that. Fortunately, I overpowered my emotional brain with logic, beating it back into submission in the deep recesses of my mind where it belongs.

I recently came across a meme (I posted it in the Facebook group Left of Normal on May 11th) that talked about walking on tiptoes, or toe walking, and how that's an autism trait.  This got me thinking about how often I walk on my toes, and started to realize I do it a lot... way more than a normal adult anyway. So I dug a little deeper to find out why Left of Normal folks walk on tippy toes.  And why I do it. Let's take a look at toe walking as someone on the spectrum, and what it's all about, as well as some other stims.

Nearly 1.5 million people in the US die from heart disease and cancer every year.   There are new studies showing strong correlations between our mindsets and why these issues have become so prevalent (our terrible diet isn't helping either).   Today we are looking at some of the ways our bodies and minds are not separate, but part of one overall organism, and why those on the spectrum can suffer from stress, worry, and anxiety a bit more than the normies out there.

Today we get to get a bunch of little snapshots into the mind of the Left of Normal. This episode is all about reviewing excerpts from official diagnoses for those on the Autism Spectrum.  I give my insights into why they happen, and share stories on how they have affected me throughout my life. Plus a mini book review.

One of the defining characteristics of those with ASD is difficulty navigating social situations.  Often it takes a lot of observation to fully understand what the appropriate behavior is. Today we look at why, some annoying things normies say, and a little bit more. There's also a story in there that includes 7 slugs.

We all know that social media can damage your mental health.  There are a ton of studies that show despite what we think, it's just not good for us. Those who are on the autism spectrum can, however, find benefit in it since there is less pressure than in-person socializing. Today's episode goes through the handful of social accounts I maintain, what I like and dislike about them.  Toward the end I get into my theory on why we feel like crud after we spend time online.

Today we get to hear from a guest!  Alexander Clark, who has his own podcast and radio show, is a man of many talents.  He shares some insight into what makes him tick and how he interacts with the Left of Normal community.   After listening, check his podcast Xander Speaks, and make sure to check out his radio show that launches on April 10th.

Holden joins us as we talk about a recent road trip we went on.  He shares what he likes and dislikes about the trip, and we get a glimpse into these adventures through the eyes of a child. While I did try to steer the conversation to have him talk more about emotions, feelings, and what goes on in his mind, I don't think he's quite there to recognize those things... or maybe it's the ADHD that hides it all, who knows! If you need help mapping out your next big adventure, I'm open to working with you on it.