Life With: an Alcoholic

Alcohol Detox, Toxic Relationships, and Finding Yourself Again | Kristen’s 15-Year Sobriety StoryKristen shares how dating a high-functioning alcoholic in her 20s led to a terrifying alcohol detox crisis: after she returned from a family trip, her boyfriend attempted to quit drinking alone, hallucinated, jumped from a moving car, and was hospitalized and placed in a medically induced coma for a week. The experience prompted Kristen to stop drinking, and she has remained sober for 15 years; her ex also stayed sober, though they eventually separated. The conversation explores how addiction fuels manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, and “fixer” dynamics, why alcohol detox can be dangerous, and how limited resources and stigma in healthcare leave partners unsupported. They discuss small steps like tracking drinking objectively, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. Kristen also describes her current work in leadership development and her book, The Mama Bear Leader.00:00 Kristen Joins The Show00:58 Why Share This Story01:37 High Functioning Alcoholism03:09 Detox Turns Dangerous04:32 Aftermath And Sobriety05:07 Host Relates Her Experience08:11 Losing Yourself In Addiction12:07 The Impossible Choice13:54 The Fixer Trap16:34 Rationalizing And Mirages18:58 When It Seems Fine19:50 When Denial Is A Sign20:15 One Week Reality Check21:40 Hidden Bottles And Games23:53 After Loss Seeking Support24:46 Hospital Discharge No Plan26:02 Living In Relapse Fear27:50 Calling 911 And No Options29:13 Stigma In The ER31:23 Small Steps Self Care33:37 Life After Addiction Story34:18 Mama Bear Leadership Work36:38 Book Plug And FarewellLearn more about Kristen here; www.themamabearleader.com/podcast For more resources and tools; Life With apphttps://www.thelifewith.com/Impossible Choice Action Guidehttps://impossiblechoice.co/action[COMING SOON] Impossible Choice appYour FREE Reality Check; https://yourrealitycheck.lovable.app

Stop the Research Spiral: You Can’t Cure His Drinking (Reclaim Yourself First)Jennifer Randall-Young introduces The Life With An Alcoholic, a show focused on supporting women who are holding everything together while someone they love is falling apart. She shares how she spent years in a “research spiral,” searching for medical explanations and fixes for her partner’s drinking, and explains that this isn’t a character flaw but a coping strategy that provides a sense of control. Using the Al-Anon framework—“you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it”—she describes the turning point of realizing information is useless without the alcoholic’s willingness. She offers a free six-minute Reality Assessment, reframes healing as independent from his rock bottom, and introduces a “third path” of reclaiming yourself first, including a one-hour experiment and a live workshop on “the impossible choice” and its six pillars.00:00 Welcome and Purpose00:34 My Research Spiral01:47 Why It Never Works03:15 Three Cs Framework04:35 Closing the Laptop05:05 Reality Assessment Tool05:40 Stop Waiting to Heal07:04 The Third Path08:51 One Hour for You10:03 Workshop Invitation10:46 Final Encouragement10:57 Outro and Next Steps

Stopping Him From Drinking Isn’t My Job: 5 Things I Quit Doing Host Jennifer Randall-Young introduces The Life with an Alcoholic, a show focused on the woman managing life alongside an alcoholic partner, and shares that after eight years trying to make her husband stop drinking she realized “stopping him from drinking is not actually my job.” She describes five things she stopped doing: buying alcohol, pouring his drinks, letting him drive, narrating/explaining him to others, and researching his alcoholism late at night, and explains what returned when she stopped her nervous system, her opinions, her laugh, and her attention. She reframes the key question from how to make him stop drinking to what she is spending her attention on, calling the effort unpaid labor. She promotes a free “reality check” assessment, her book Life With An Alcoholic, and a $27 course, The Impossible Choice, and encourages viewers to stop doing one of the five things this week. 00:00 Welcome and Who This Is For 00:34 The Moment I Quit Managing 02:57 Stop Buying Alcohol 03:57 Stop Pouring His Drinks 05:16 No More Driving 05:47 Stop Covering for Him 06:43 Stop Late Night Research 08:00 What You Get Back 09:47 The Attention Reframe 10:17 Book and Next Steps 10:59 One Thing to Do This Week 12:00 Help Choosing Stay or Go 12:46 You Are Not Crazy 13:46 Final Wrap and Resources

Stop Trying to Fix Him: How to Stop Losing Yourself Married to an Alcoholic Jennifer Randall Young introduces The Life With An Alcoholic as a show for women holding everything together while a partner’s alcoholism escalates, focusing on the quiet ways the spouse changes: hypervigilance, constant scanning, backup plans, and losing her sense of self. She explains that the grief many feel is often for the woman they were before survival mode took over, and emphasizes that exhaustion comes from capability, not weakness. She offers a free six-minute “reality check assessment” to clarify where viewers are in the process, then shares a key reframe: instead of asking how to make him stop drinking, ask how to stop losing yourself. She assigns one next step: write down something you used to love, something you’re tired of pretending is fine, and one person you haven’t been honest with, as a first move toward reclaiming your life. 00:00 Welcome and Who This Is For 00:34 The Quiet Disappearing 02:38 What Survival Mode Looks Like 04:11 Grieving the Old You 06:03 You Are Capable Not Weak 06:39 Reality Check Assessment 07:08 The Reframe That Changes Everything 07:33 Three Shifts When You Choose You 09:15 One Small Step Tonight 10:37 You Are Not Crazy 11:19 Subscribe and Weekly Support 11:39 Final Wrap and Next Steps

Living With a Functional Alcoholic: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Carrying Too Much Jennifer Randall Young introduces The Life with an Alcoholic, a show focused on women holding life together while a loved one’s drinking escalates, and describes the isolating reality of living with a “functional” alcoholic whose public life looks fine. She recounts common experiences like counting bottles at night, secret 2–3 AM Google searches, clearing search history, and feeling traumatized and alone with the “data” others don’t see. She explains why friends and family defend the version of him they know, and shares a 2019 story of calling 911 for a wellness check while traveling for a major presentation. Jennifer teaches the “three Cs” (you didn’t cause it, can’t control it, can’t cure it), urges redirecting energy back to self-care, offers a private 10-minute “reality check assessment,” and previews next week’s episode on a “third path” beyond Al‑Anon or leaving. 00:00 Welcome to the Show 00:34 Who This Channel Is For 01:02 The Hidden Bottle Count 02:12 What Functional Really Means 03:47 The 2 AM Reality Check 05:11 You Are Not Crazy 05:37 Quick Assessment Tool 06:27 Why No One Sees It 08:17 The 911 Hotel Story 10:28 The Three Cs Framework 11:38 Stop Trying to Control 12:15 Your Exhaustion Explained 13:17 The Third Path Forward 14:08 Subscribe and Next Week 15:09 Final Wrap and Resourceshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqDABW8THxg