Make Your Damn Bed

A policeman sees a drunk man searching for something under a streetlight and asks what the drunk has lost. He says he lost his keys and they both look under the streetlight together. After a few minutes the policeman asks if he is sure he lost them here, and the drunk replies, no, and that he lost them in the park. The policeman asks why he is searching here, and the drunk replies, "this is where the light is". THE SOURCES:https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miserhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effectRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

the human brain doesn't prefer to expend extra cognitive effort, it will always take a shortcut, where possible. the less you analyze this reality, the more likely you are to fall into "cognitive laziness" which can reinforce stereotypes and keep us trapped in limiting world views. THE SOURCES: https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miserRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Forgiveness is not an all-or-nothing process. You can partially release by choosing to stop ruminating, and even if you don’t feel entirely at peace yet, it is important to recognize that you have made meaningful progress. Every step you take away from feeling resentment is a step toward your sense of freedom. - Kinga Mnich, PhD 1. Know exactly what you are forgiving2. Commit to forgiving for your own benefit3. Separate the person from the act4. Release unenforceable rules5. Redirect your energy toward your own lifeTHE SOURCE:https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgivenesshttps://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/forgiveness-psychology-scienceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

if morality is flexible and competence is subjective, how can we build self esteem around our values? Your ability to perceive society as "just" also affects your ability to regard yourself. The more internally motivated you are (outside of systemic expectations) the more you have to rely on competence over community + morality judgements. THE SOURCES: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103121001104https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01878/fullhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201312/10-sources-low-self-esteemRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self respect is a practice, not a vibe. Self respect isn't about the big wins making us feel big, but the small, consistent acts that make us feel like ourselves. The more small, value aligned choices we make, the more respect we earn for ourselves. THE SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202601/why-self-respect-is-so-powerfulRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self respect has nothing to do with the approval of others, or reputation, but it is about discipline and honesty and doing the brave thing. Facing accountability is self respect. Assessing risks worth taking and taking them, is self respect. Facing the things you've ignored is self respect. "It is the phenomenon sometimes called alienation from self. In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the spectre of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that one's sanity becomes an object of speculation among one's acquaintances. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home." Joan Didion's article: On Self RespectRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

forgiveness requires a willingness to move beyond our negative feelings. fortunately, we are predisposed to heal + forgiveness is a big part of that. we just need to create the conditions to allow our natural mechanisms to function. R — Recall the Hurt: Honestly remember the transgression, without minimizing or maximizing it. This is not rumination but a clear-eyed acknowledgment of what happened and how it affected you.E — Empathize: Try to understand the transgressor's perspective — their state of mind, history, and circumstances — not to excuse but to humanize. Research shows that perspective-taking is a crucial mediator of forgiveness: it becomes harder to sustain pure resentment toward someone you genuinely understand.A — Altruistic Gift: Recall a time you needed forgiveness from someone and received it, or a time you were the one who caused harm. Recognize forgiveness as a gift you can offer — not because it's deserved but because you know what it's like to need it. This step frames forgiveness as a generous act rather than a capitulation.C — Commit: Make a public or written commitment to forgiving — journaling about it, telling a trusted person, or simply writing a statement. Commitment makes the decision more durable and resistant to resentment's return.H — Hold onto Forgiveness: Expect that resentment will return and prepare to recommit to forgiveness when it does. Forgiveness is often a process rather than a one-time achievement; renewing the commitment when resentment resurfaces is normal and expected.THE SOURCE:https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgivenesshttps://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/forgiveness-psychology-scienceRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

forgiveness isn't excusing harmful behavior, and it surely isn't forgetting. forgiveness is about your personal healing journey. it's not about absolving them, but instead, it's about reclaiming your agency.THE SOURCE:https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgivenessRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

are you avoiding danger or discomfort?To figure this out you can: name the threatidentify your feelingslearn to identify true threats vs. discomfortpractice responding with a stretch rather than reacting with a snap. rehearse new endings to similar stories It may take some practice to build up your capacity for peace and safety. THE SOURCE: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbLwPVqOpzH/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self-awareness is a tool to help you live, not the entire point of living. Every single thing we do, think, and say is a form of spellwork. We are energetic beings who release and absorb energies with every second that passes. Naturally there will be some unavoidable energetic interruptions that we will have no control over, but there are countless forms of energy that we nurture or ignore depending on our moods and our subconscious minds and our immediate reactions. The more aware we are of our capacity to decide on which of these energies we want to absorb or nurture, the easier it is to make decisions from a conscious place rather than an automatic one. There’s a limit to self awareness. Sometimes it goes full fucking circle and you need to make yourself less aware so you can return to joy and life and conscious presence. Kinzermb on IG wrote: "It’s funny that the very people we judged for being oblivious are the very people we need to take a lesson from. Because not everything is about noticing, life is about experiencing. And often times, the self aware person in all their thinking will do whatever they can to avoid discomfort while the less “aware” person will accept it as a part of life. It seems now there is a wisdom in this so called ignorance, and we call that wisdom acceptance. Because though one may not ponder the nature of reality like you do, they may not ponder how they are being perceived constantly. You see there are pros and cons to both but if you never leave your mind, and that constant self awareness, you’ll never have an opportunity to enjoy your life. Leave your comfort zone. Experience discomfort, show yourself you can survive it and actually learn from it, and your life will improve.” SOURCES:IG THETRAUMAEDUCATOR IG CHRISTABELMINTAHNWANKWOIG KINZERMBIG AMYTHELIFECOACHRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes the kindest and wisest thing you can do in a relationship is clearly and concisely distance yourself from it until you figure out how to navigate it more appropriately. To develop a robust grief process we must 1. Mourn what is lost. 2. Name what is good. 3. Release what was not. Stepping back, creating distance, and taking space are crucial aspects to the healing process. There is huge difference between a well intentioned apology and real long term repair. If you have a conflict or suffer from a betrayal your brain and body can’t just lean into a well worded and well intentioned apology as a bandaid for all of the harm that was caused. I wish words were enough but that’s like saying a broken arm can be healed with a diagnosis. Just because the X-Ray says you have a broken arm it doesn't solve the problem. The diagnosis is a great start to healing properly, but it doesn’t mean the work stops there. You’ve got to prove to your brain and body that you’re not going to let this get worse, happen again, and you’re going to behave differently now so you can create a safe space to relax and heal properly, which takes time. SOURCES: IG THETRAUMAEDUCATOR IG CHRISTABELMINTAHNWANKWOIG KINZERMB IG AMYTHELIFECOACH Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting everything they did and letting them back in. It means you’ve stopped poisoning yourself trying to hurt them.SOURCE: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692https://envisiontherapydfw.com/forgiveness-isnt-trust-its-releasing-the-burden-they-left-behind/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“And if happiness should surprise you again, do not mention its previous betrayal. Enter into happiness, and burst.” Mahmoud Darwish https://psychcentral.com/health/when-joy-feels-scary-resilience-building-practices#tipshttps://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/kmz35o/how_did_you_get_over_the_habit_of_constantly/https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZFuUBNgY9npG08L_36uTE6cvYNBGfT3gMxEmU0/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The goal isn't to be constantly regulated, but to understand how to regulate so you can cope with disregulation appropriately. It's about building trust with your healing self, rather than being "healed" fully in some "final" way. SOURCE:https://worthyselfcare.com/why-calm-isnt-the-goal-nervous-system-resilience-is/https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/evolution-internal-family-systems-model-dr-richard-schwartz-ph-dhttps://www.cethni.com/awakening-the-inner-light-a-guide-to-buddha-nature-and-daily-practice/https://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheetsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our different parts are there to protect the true self, but these parts aren't static, permanent parts there to keep us from ourselves. Through systems thinking + the multiplicity of the mind, we can integrate these parts to center our selves and allow them to act without interference. SOURCE:https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/evolution-internal-family-systems-model-dr-richard-schwartz-ph-dhttps://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheetsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are no bad parts, only parts that need to be integrated. SOURCE: https://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheetsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a re-release. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is a re-release. "This is the economy now. Not a distribution of opportunity. A redistribution of friction. But friction isn’t the enemy!!!! It’s information. It tells us where things are straining and where care is needed and where attention should go.And it's not all bad news. Because friction is also where new systems can emerge. Every broken interface, every overloaded professor, every delayed flight is pointing to something that could be rebuilt with actual intention."THE SOURCE: https://kyla.substack.com/p/the-most-valuable-commodity-in-theRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it. centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Abandonment, fear, loneliness, shame, anxious, Protectors: firefighters and managers. Firefighters deal with immediate threats, Distract, avoid, dissociate, Mangers work to keep you from future problems. Hyper-vigilant, avoidant, The goal is to access the qualities of the Centered self to work with these wounded parts to Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Similarly to the Pixar movie, INSIDE OUT, where her emotions are portrayed as totally different characters that experience different experiences and roles and access different memories. In IFS therapy, they refer to these characters as parts. A majority of your parts will take on protective roles, he uses the example of managers and firefighters, but other parts carry pain or trauma from past experiences, exiles, but crucially, there are NO BAD PARTS. In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it. centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Abandonment, fear, loneliness, shame, anxious, Protectors: firefighters and managers. Firefighters deal with immediate threats, Distract, avoid, dissociate, Mangers work to keep you from future problems. Hyper-vigilant, avoidant, The goal is to access the qualities of the Centered self to work with these wounded parts to SOURCE: https://www.ceangail.ie/blog/tips-for-starting-internal-family-systemshttps://ifs-institute.com/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapyRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 the challenge of the unknown > the disappoint of the familiar you have to change some variables if you're trying a new experiment Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, you may realize your guard being up against it was the biggest hurdle. Leverage your effort into longterm upkeep of all the goodness in your life. Small repeated actions are what add up to create your life, so don’t let it pass you by waiting for it to arrive."It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you look for the beauty in the world, you will see it in everything. The light, the sounds, the smells, the feelings. If you look for the horrors, you’ll see it in everything, too. Focus on the light so you can create and become more of it. Study what you avoid. What makes you scared to act. Defensiveness is often protecting you from something you are afraid to face, but if you face it, you may realize your guard being up against it was the biggest hurdle. Leverage your effort into longterm upkeep of all the goodness in your life. Small repeated actions are what add up to create your life, so don’t let it pass you by waiting for it to arrive. It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin To love someone else is easy, but to love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron: it burns into you and that is very painful. Therefore, to love somebody else in the first place is always an escape which we all hope for, and we all enjoy it when we are capable of it. But in the long run, it comes back on us. You cannot stay away from yourself forever, you have to return, have to come to that experiment, to know whether you really can love. That is the question-whether you can love yourself, and that will be the test. - CARL JUNGRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Travel reminds you that this ISN'T the only possibility. There are other lives available to you. You CAN do things differently. The world is NOT cold, just because the corrupt politicians are. SOURCE: https://college.taylors.edu.my/en/student-life/news/2025/the-neuroscience-of-travel-how-exploring-new-places-rewires-your-brain.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lasting motivation requires three conditions:A sense of competenceA sense of relatednessA sense of autonomy or the felt experience that your actions are genuinely your ownBut there is a difference between consultative decision-making and approval-dependent motivation. In the first, you gather input and then decide, with the locus of commitment sitting inside you. In the second, the decision itself waits to be made by someone else’s reaction, and so does your energy.FIX IT WITH: Values clarification Tiny actions that align with those values THE SOURCE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202607/1-habit-that-kills-motivation-for-most-adultsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't resist tough emotions, but don't live there. Provide yourself with more time for REST. Don't stress about productivity at this time. Set FIRM boundaries. Allow space and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. Clear + reset your space. Reflect for future you. Reflect on underlying needs that your choices are compensating for. Show yourself the care + empathy you're saving for your ex. Don't take shit so personally. Allow different timelines + perceptions of the situation to exist. Believe this is all working out for your highest good. Even the painful bits. Focus on controlling YOUR timeline, not theirs.You are worthy of the most amazing, real love. Don’t ever settle for less. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't resist tough emotions, but don't live there. Provide yourself with more time for REST. Don't stress about productivity at this time. Set FIRM boundaries. Allow space and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. Clear + reset your space. Reflect for future you. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're trees, not billboards. Understand what YOUR seasons look and feel like, so you can recognize what season you're in and not try to push yourself to a different one, too early. Deante Kyle's Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@deante.kyle/video/7664265185548324126Richard Siken's quote. Psychology Today Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish-and-thrive/202602/how-can-patience-help-you-deal-with-lifes-frustrationsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is really fucking hard to change your habits and your actions while believing everything you currently believe about yourself. It’s more effective in the long run to shift your ideas about your identity first, and allow the actions that align with that identity to support this identity shift. To live “like” the person you want to be, you first have to recognize your capability to do so. If I want to complete a marathon, I have to become the type of person that prioritizes running. If I want to learn to swim, I have to be someone who is willing to put on a bathing suit and get in the water. I can’t keep thinking of myself as some ineffective, incompetent failure if I don’t want to feel like an ineffective, incompetent failure. I have to start thinking of myself as capable, and competent, and effective; and I really have to do my best to believe it.  The more I am able to align myself with that identity, the easier it is to show up and do the things other people who identify the same way do. It’s easier to think of these new behaviors as a lifestyle choice. Not a habit you’re trying to do more of. If I say, I’m trying to eat less meat, it is less convincing to myself than when I say, I’m no longer eating meat. Or even more so, if I can call myself a vegetarian. When I leaned fully into the vegetarian identity, it was easier for me to know what choices did and didn’t fit with that. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It takes time to get comfortable in unfamiliar frequencies, but once you do, you may find yourself more comfortable than you imagined you could be.Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.Core questions to ask yourself:What's going on? What are you trying to address? is there something specific you'd like to accomplish? or integrate more or less of into your life? Is there anything you know you need to change but have been resisting or avoiding? What is a recurring (core) issue that pops up in your life?What does my current daily life look like? If it's inconsistent or your daily routine varies from time to time, outline a few "typical" days. Set alarms for every 15-60 minutes to check ins to see where your time is actually goes.What brings you happiness or makes you feel alive or connected to humanity? Brain dump. Include minor things.BRAIN DUMP:Skills (you have currently): What am I good at?Resources (you have currently): What are some of the good things in my life?Problems (you have currently): What are the not so good things in my life?Can any of the resources or skills you currently posses help you solve or cope with the problems?What would you say to a loved one with the same problem?How would an optimist approach this situation?Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.How to (convince yourself to) get anything you want:Identify your goal. (ideally experience based)Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions.Identify actions that would point you in the direction you'd like to move towards.Consider YOUR pitfalls + interests to make it impossible to not do. Get comfortable with friction and reduce it when possible.Curate your life around the most optimistic outcome working out perfectly.Give yourself enough time to properly adjust to a new version of "comfortable". Build tolerance for patience and change.Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to (convince yourself to) get anything you wantPREVIEW:Identify your goal. (ideally experience based)Identify your current state: values, feelings you'd like to cultivate more of, current habits, current questions.Identify actions that would point you in the direction you'd like to move towards.Consider YOUR pitfalls + interests to make it impossible to not do. Get comfortable with friction and reduce it when possible.Curate your life around the most optimistic outcome working out perfectly.Give yourself enough time to properly adjust to a new version of "comfortable". Build tolerance for patience and change.Success is a compounding byproduct of motion in the direction of your dreams.Engaging in behaviors you admire will protect you from the feelings you're avoiding.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If it’s not a matter of my physical location, or my circumstances, it comes down to it being a matter of direction. “Simply beginning” is a great sentiment, and an effective practice when possible, but in my case, it’s often better in theory. Most days I don’t know where to begin, let alone how. So, when that happens I try to follow my curiosity. I let tiny cravings speak more loudly if they feel worth pursuing. It doesn’t have to be productive or sufficient or even important. It just has to be interesting enough to convince me to start. To stop scrolling and do literally anything else. There’s no right or wrong method here that works all the time, there are just techniques that can sometimes break the cycle of consternation that often comes from a lack of direction and access to the internet. Quoting Bourdain again here, “Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom...is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.”So, instead of looking for clarity, I will continue to experiment with the options I can think of until one of them works this time, and next time I’ll try again and again until I find what works for that version of myselfRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Because that’s the thing for me: the idea of almost everything scares me but the practice often leaves me room to surprise myself. Anthony Bourdain said something like, “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park, enjoy the ride.” And I fuck with that heavy. Like most people, I do better when I have something to look forward to, outside of my daily chores and needs and expectations. When I have small goals that feel fun and interesting and exciting to work towards, life feels lighter. It provides me with space to experience more enjoyment in getting my base needs met, and I don’t dread everything nearly as much as I do when I have nothing to look forward to. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've been trying not to let myself identify with the pain but it's easier said than done. it's easier when you fill your time with so much good that there is less space for the painful patterns to persist. "if you're trying to love yourself, you already do. where do you think the trying comes from?" Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our emotions are houseguests not permanent residents. I am the ocean. The Hannah Ro Writes QuoteRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(re-release) If you’re struggling to know whether or not you’re falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy in your current relationships, there are some reflective questions you can ask to check in and ensure you’re not settling. Do you feel like you need to stay in your relationships?Or do you feel like you want to stay in your relationships?Do you resent the amount of time or energy you’ve put in? Or do you focus more on the amount you’ve grown and changed together through that energy?If you find yourself focusing more on the things you’ve lost in your relationships (which are things you can never recover) rather than the things you have gained? (which is growth you can never lose) than you may be staying out of obligation rather than desire - which is a surefire way to build resentment and toxicity in your relationships, if you haven’t already. Realize that past investment is exactly that. Your time and your energy and your efforts cannot be recovered - no matter what happens next.Ask yourself, if you were starting over today, would you choose this person again? I do that regularly when I clean out my closet and decide what clothing gets to stay - as well as with my relationships and friendships to really ensure that I am continuously choosing people who are best for me and where I would like to go. Then imagine what the future will likely look like if things remain as they are right now, with your person. What do you feel about that? Would anything NEED to change on your end or on their end to make a happy union more likely?Think about a time when you have left a relationship in the past. Is that a relationship you wish you had back? Probably not. Making the decision to leave is often the hardest part. But cutting your losses now will be easier than cutting even higher and broader losses in the future. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(rerelease) People seem to think because they have invested months or years of time into a person that they shouldn’t give up on the potential for them to change, when their current reality is miserable and undeniably better if they cut ties. I have heard countless friends justify staying too long bad relationships with “but we’ve been together for so long” or “I’ve put so many years into this,” or and “we’ve worked so hard at it,” or “We just have so much history” The key to not falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy is by being real with yourself about the reality of your current state and remember that ALL sunken costs cannot be recovered. Forget the past instead of dwelling on what used to be or how hard you worked, instead get real about the current costs and current benefits - and if the current costs aren’t outweighing the current benefits or looking like they’re going to realistically change in the foreseeable future, you gotta cut your losses. Remember as humans, we have a tendency to fear losses more than we expect gains - so we must keep that in mind when we find ourselves clinging to things that we’re far better off without. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rejection feels brutal because society taught us our value is in being chosen. What if we deconstruct that premise, together?It's about relief, not romance. It's about validation, not love. "If no one is going to arrive and pick you, you make yourself impossible not to keep. You become useful." - Meredith THE SOURCE: https://aftertheclouds.substack.com/p/the-fantasy-of-being-chosen-and-howRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you know what you'd want to eat next if there was nobody else involved in the decision making process?What would you do if you didn't have to please or consider anyone else?Olivia is Growing's Post: https://www.tiktok.com/@oliviaisgrowing/photo/7639965256235633934Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you struggle to answer the question: "what do I want?"Do you tend to put other people's needs above your own?Do you think the only way to be loved is through being helpful?Constantly making choices that put other people's needs before your own that force us to abandon our own well-being can slowly erode our ability to understand what we want. It doesn't feel like self-abandonment. It feels like "keeping the peace" or "getting through it". So we dismiss ourselves and our basic needs, and that pattern becomes a habit. Self-neglect becomes the norm. We minimize ourselves out of fear of pushing people away. But this is dangerous. And counter-intuitive. We build better, more connected relationships when we allow ourselves to connect to ourselves, first. THE SOURCE: https://positivepsychology.com/self-abandonment/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

a relationship is a space for both of us to breathe, when it no longer creates that space, we must be willing to detach from our expectations.Angela Han: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssTnrs/life in focus with suttida: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sGMw2k/Jay: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG6RLT/empathy without boundaries is dangerous and a form of self abandonment. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

a relationship is a space for both of us to breathe, when it no longer creates that space, we must be willing to detach from our expectations. Angela Han: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssTnrs/life in focus with suttida: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sGMw2k/Jay: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG6RLT/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I tend to neglect myself in relationships so I can focus more on creating peace + wellbeing in others, over my own. A good, healthy relationship will provide space to become more yourself. I have never experienced this. I feel this tendency to erase myself and nurture others with that extra energy. “Love is not staying. Love is showing up. If you cannot stay and show up then what your offering is not intimacy, it’s absence with good intentions.” - Justin ScottThe Inspiration Videos: Justin Scott on relational self erasure: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8sG1g1g/Amber Akilla's Video on Detachment: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8ssKsMv/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

don't die. - some days this is finding joy to keep me moving, other days it's simply not dying even though I can't move. don't let shame drive the car. - shame is a violent toddler throwing a very persuasive temper tantrum in the backseat. I have to stop giving that jerk the keys to the car. don't future trip. - if I lost someone I never dreamed of losing I also have to leave space to believe I can gain someone I never dreamed it was possible to gain. be gentle with the process. - compassion is key. I'm treating myself like a baby. Like a puppy. Lots of treats, walks, forced playtime, enrichment, and a snuggly little cozy bed to rest in. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He went to a wedding without me. He lied about my dad being sick when people asked about me. He was also regularly asking a woman from work if he could come meet up with her before shifts and after shifts. He had said "I love you" to another woman he sent thousands to for photos. I was devastated. And I spiraled. I hit rock bottom. So I spent a week drilling in. Leaning into the horrors and demons. I got some closure but all the answers in the world will never be enough. You can't explain a chaotic choice like cheating or betrayal. But it has reminded me that I'm responsible for protecting my spark. He took it and snuffed it out, but I am fully capable of relighting it. I will keep it safe myself, and never trust anyone to be responsible for it again. My goal is to not hate him. And as far as I can tell, it's his goal too. I still waffle between anger/hatred/contempt/ick to despair/fear/unworthiness/shame/sadness and complete confusion/betrayal/alarm at the unpredictability of humans. But for now, I'm honoring the part of me that wants to save myself. I'm relighting my spark. I'm nurturing myself with compassion and grace and patience I couldn't find in someone else. And that has to be enough for now. I shouldn't have needed to hit rock bottom to remember to take care of myself, and I'll never let myself get to that point again. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He didn't find it funny, as tricksters rarely do. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This motherfucker looked me in my eyes and said I promise there is nothing else that will upset you in here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode is explicit.... but not as explicit as tomorrow's.This motherfucker looked me in my eyes and said I promise there is nothing else that will upset you in here. That... was a lie. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coyotes represent a trickster spirit, thank goodness there aren't coyotes in this suburb of Florida. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I fall asleep ruminating. I wake up ruminating. Things are blinking and flashing on my dash but I can’t figure it out so I just keep trucking. I stop creating. It feels suddenly like math is a farce and chaos and disorder is the only reality. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.