PODCAST · religion
Married With Benefits™
by FamilyLife Podcast Network
We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner? Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation rather than experiencing the real benefits that come from saying “I do.”
Episodes
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Secret 13: Appreciating Your Better Half
Who do highly happy couples attribute their happiness to? Themselves or their partners? Join hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn and learn the power of humility and expressing gratitude for your better half. Show Notes and Resources Weekend to Remember is FamilyLife's getaway for couples, at…
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Secret 12: On "Conflict Amnesia" in Marriage
True or False? One of the best ways to resolve conflict in marriage is to let go of it. Join hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn as they discuss the art of "conflict amnesia." Show Notes and Resources Weekend to Remember is FamilyLife's getaway for couples, at the intersection of faith-based...
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Secret 11: Debunking Myths Around Divorce and Christians
Divorce and Christians: there are some misunderstandings around its prevalence. Join hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn as they set the record straight and learn how keeping God at the center does help to make highly happy couples. Show Notes and Resources For your own copy of Shaunti...
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Secret 10: Heart Unprotected—Vulnerability in Relationships
Can you keep an eye on the exit and have a happy marriage? Some couples keep separate bank accounts just in case. But in this episode, Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn explore how vulnerability in relationships—being "all in" with your spouse—leads to greater trust and happiness. Show Notes and...
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Secret 9: Happy Couples Communicate Openly (Not Brutally)
We can all agree that open communication is good for healthy relationships. But is there such a thing as being 'too honest'? Listen in as hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn discuss! Show Notes and Resources For your own copy of Shaunti Feldhahn's book, "The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy...
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Secret 8: Highly Happy Couples Hang Out (ft. Dr. Brad Wilcox)
Struggling to get a consistent date night? Not to worry. Hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn are joined by Dr. Brad Wilcox, renowned sociologist specializing in marriage and family research, as they share tips for a great marriage—even without a budget or a babysitter. Show Notes and Resources...
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Secret 7: Your Marriage's Secret Language (ft. Jen Goins)
Ever notice some couples seem to have a secret language? Maybe it looks like little loving gestures saying, "I appreciate you." "I forgive you." "I want to hear what you have to say about that." Jen Goins joins hosts Brian Goins and as they discuss the 7th secret of highly happy couples! Show…
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Secret 6: Factual Fantasies: How to Get Yours
Not all fantasies are created equally, in fact, one kind is the leading cause of unhappiness in marriage. But how do you avoid pitfalls and pursue contentment with your spouse? Tune in as hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn continue discussing the fifth secret of highly happy couples! Show…
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Secret 5: Who's In Charge Here? Emotional Management in Marriage
Do you manage your emotions...or do they actually manage you? Learn how deliberate emotional management can promote your happiness—both maritally and otherwise. Join special guest, Jeff Feldhahn, and hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn as they discuss secret 5 of highly happy couples! Show…
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Secret 4: On Keeping Score
You've probably heard the marriage advice: don't try to keep score. Hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn suggest there's one tally that might actually be good to track in Christian marriage—find out what it is! Show Notes and Resources For your own copy of Shaunti Feldhahn's book, "The…
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Secret 3: On Going to Bed Mad, with Jen Goins
Going to bed angry or not: if someone's giving you advice for marriage, they likely have an opinion. And doesn't the Bible take a stance? Join hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn for a fresh take on how to deal with anger in marriage — a normal part of the human experience — at bedtime and...
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Secret 2: 5 Little Ways to Grow Happiness In Marriage
Looking for some happy vibes in your marriage? Learn about the 'fantastic five' small but mighty try-now practices to grow happiness in your marriage. Show Notes and Resources FamilyLife has a brand-new course to help you strengthen your marriage and move towards more joy. Learn more about the…
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The First Secret of Highly Happy Marriages
You know what they say about making assumptions, right? But there's one kind of assumption that can dramatically improve your marriage. Hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn discuss first secret of highly happy marriages on today's episode of Married with Benefits. Learn how one foundational...
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The Highly Happy Marriage: Is That a Thing?
"Highly happy" is possible for marriage. But how do you get there? Change—even "good" change and growth—can be uncomfortable! Join hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn for a roadmap for perseverance in relationship growth, towards the highly happy marriage you dream of. Show Notes and Resources...
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Is Marriage Past its Prime? Dr. Brad Wilcox
Is marriage worth it? If you've never wondered yourself, you may have had someone ask you that question. In this special teaser episode to Season 4 of Married with Benefits, hosts Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins are joined by Dr. Brad Wilcox, a renowned sociologist specializing in marriage and...
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8. Is Your Sex Life Missing the Point?
Could your sex life be missing the point? Dr. Michael Sytsma talks about why we have sex…and the key to wow-level sex that changes everything. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from…
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7. When Sex is Boring
Has your married sex coasted into the blahs? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma's got solutions to keep you both captivated in the bedroom. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti...
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6. When Sex is Painful: Dr. Michael Sytsma
Sex can be painful in more ways than one: from trauma, to physical pain, to porn. But these don't need to doom your relationship. Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma offers ideas to transform hurt to eventual healing and wholeness. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins,...
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5. Not Tonight? Why Good Signals Make Sexual Sparks Fly: Dr. Michael Sytsma
Initiating or declining sex: It's tricky. Are your signals clear to your spouse? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma helps you with “not tonight” and “yes, please.” Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions.…
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4. When Your Married Sex Life Hits a Snag
Wondering how to keep your married sex life sizzling—or just move around conflict or hurt? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma helps you troubleshoot. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from...
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3. Sexual Desire: What to Do When You’re Not on the Same Page
Does one of you want more sex than the other? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma offers ideas and insight to work through differences in sexual desire. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from...
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2. What if My Spouse Doesn’t Want Me? Sex Drive in Your Marriage
Does one of you want more sex than the other? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma offers ideas and insight to work through differences in sexual desire. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from...
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1. When It Comes to Sex Drive–What’s Normal?
When it comes to sex…what’s normal? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn discuss research about drive, initiative, and other questions. Show Notes and Resources Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma’s book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference....
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13: Rapid-Fire: Questions (a lot of) Other Husbands are Asking
Gathered from a live audience at FamilyLife's Love Like You Mean It cruise, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn and Brian Goins answer a variety of questions from husbands--like, "Why does she ask for my opinion, then do her own thing?" "Why does she pick on my tone of voice?" "Why doesn't she say what she...
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12: Why Does My Wife Expect Me to Read Her Mind?
Trying to figure out why your wife expects you to know what she's thinking? Does trying to interpret all that mystery feel frustrating, even exhausting? Brian, Shaunti, and guest Jim Mitchell explore how to uncover what's whirring beneath the surface in a way that makes your wife feel known--and...
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11: When Conflict with Your Wife Leaves You Defeated
In this episode, Brian, Jen, and Shaunti address the common insecurities husbands experience in conflict with their wives. At work they feel they can tackle anything, but everything changes at home when emotions enter the scene. Are you curious why late-night arguments leave you feeling…
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10: My Wife Cries A Lot…Help!
Husbands all over the world struggle to understand and respond to their wife's tears. Considering two thirds of women admit to crying for no reason, they have good reason to. Curious why women cry so much? Shaunti and Brian, joined by Brian's wife Jen, dig into the "why" behind women's tears and...
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9: Every Hallmark Movie Is The Same. Why Does She Still Watch Those?
In season #1 of Married With Benefits we explained what a wife can learn about the mind of her husband from watching ESPN. Here Brian and Shaunti explain the heart of most wives as revealed in Hallmark movies. What core question is she asking that a good love story answers? What insecurities does...
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8: Why Aren’t Decisions Ever Final For My Wife?
Does it feel like decisions are never final with your wife? Does she like to "taaaaaaaaaalk" things thru way too long? And what should you do when it feels like she's questioning a decision you've made and felt was final? Host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn explore this common experience with...
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7. How can I restore trust after pornography or an affair?
How can a couple restore trust in the area of sexual brokenness (pornography, affairs, etc.)? Licensed sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma joins host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn to instruct husbands and wives on the necessary steps to take to bring the darkness into the light and tenaciously…
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6: What Do I Do If My Wife Doesn’t Trust Me?
As crazy as it sounds, it's not uncommon for trust to be broken within a marriage and the husband not even realize it. Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn are joined by FamilyLife Today co-host Ann Wilson to offer hope and wise counsel for couples needing to restore trust between them. Show Notes…
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5: Why Does She Ask The Deep Questions At 11pm At Night?
Have you ever wondered why, just when your mind is shutting down for the night, your wife's mind seems to be just getting started? Married with Benefits host Brian Goins, along with Harvard trained researcher Shaunti Feldhahn, discuss this and reveal a simple truth that explains so much about…
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4: Why Can’t My Wife Land The Plane In Conversations?
Husbands, do you get tired head in conversations with your wife as she circles the airport but never lands the plane? Listen as Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn demystify this very common frustration. Understand the brain science behind these exchanges and, more importantly, learn two easy ways…
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3: How Important Is My Physical Appearance to Her Desire of Me?
Your wife can't really be attracted to your "dad bod" right? A lot of guys assume they need to be workout warriors to be desiraable, but the reality is that a trip to the doctor is probably way more attractive to your wife than another tip to the gym. Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn offer…
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Bonus B: Top 5 All-Star Moves – You got this!
In episode 2.1 you heard the top 5 "rookie mistakes" of husbands who want more sex with their wives. Now learn from host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn your top 5 "all-star moves." You got this! Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com For...
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Bonus A: Top 5 Rookie Mistakes – Come on man!
In episode 2, we were joined by Dr. Juli Slattery, co-founder and President of Authentic Intimacy, to dive deep into the question, "Why can't my wife focus more on sex." Here, host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn keep it simple as they offer a quick-hit list of the top 5 rookie mistakes of...
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2: Why Can’t My Wife Focus More On Sex?
Husbands often ask, "Why can't my wife focus more on sex?" Dr. Juli Slattery, co-founder and President of Authentic Intimacy, joins host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn to answer this important question. Learn how most women are wired sexually; Hint: it's not what you think. Find out how to…
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1: How Long Until My Wife Believes She’s Beautiful?
Research shows that many women struggle with hidden insecurities and find it difficult to believe that their own husbands see them as beautiful. Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn explain what drives a woman's feelings of inadequacy. They explain what to do and what not to do to overcome her fears…
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15: Season Finale – Live Women’s Conference Speed Round
Season one of "Married With Benefits" comes to a close in glorious, speed-round fashion as Brian Goins, alongside Shaunti Feldhahn, enters the arena like a gladiator and fields rapid-fire questions live from a women's conference crowd of over 1000. "Why can't my husband multitask?" "Why does he...
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14: Why Doesn’t My Marriage Look Anything Like a Hallmark Movie?
No, your husband doesn't act like those guys in the Hallmark movies. Not even close. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain why that's by God's design and why it's actually a good thing for you and for your marriage. Don't worry, it doesn't mean you need to cut the Hallmark channel. In fact,...
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13: Why Does He Ignore the Kids and Me When He Comes Home From Work?
Does your husband sort of “power down” after work right when you need to talk? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins demystify this common frustration and offer tips for making your evenings more relational. Learn why some questions draw your husband out of his hole, while others prompt only grunts....
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12: Why Can’t He Just Listen?
A husband who shifts into "fix it" mode without taking time to truly understand, or glazes over after only 3 minutes of listening, will only frustrate his wife and make the problem worse-the opposite of what he intends. So how can you avoid this very common experience and instead create...
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11: Does My Husband Secretly Want Me to Look Like a Bikini Model?
Do men secretly wish their wives looked like bikini models? Thousands of men were surveyed and the results are in! Listen as Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain what the overwhelming majority said and the implications for normal marriages like yours. If you've tortured yourself with feelings...
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10: Can My Spouse and I Have Friends of the Opposite Sex?
Can you or your husband still have friends of the opposite sex? It’s a lightning-rod question that sparks strong emotions on both sides. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins say yes, but with a few wise caveats (#itscomplicated). Should you use the “Mike Pence rule” or have no rules at all? How can…
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9: Why Does My Husband Choose Video Games Over Me?
Okay, so what's with the video games? Wasn't your husband supposed to leave those behind in his childhood? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins, along with special guest Ryan Guinee of FamilyLife, discuss the unique challenges gaming presents in marriage. Every wife married to a gamer knows the...
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8: Why Does He Care More About Work Than Me and the Kids?
Couples trying to balance work and family face the pull of two competing priorities—financial security and relationship connection. Even in dual-income homes, it's common for the husband and wife to fall on different ends of that value spectrum. Typically, but not always, he values being at the...
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7: Why Does It Take Such Nagging to Get Help Around the House?
Honey, the trash needs to go out, but please don't take it now because I like having to ask 12 times, said NO WIFE EVER! So why is this such a common experience? Are husbands really that uncaring? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain what's really behind this and how to move a husband to…
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6: Why Does He Insist on Carrying All the Groceries in One Trip?
Does your husband always try to carry the groceries in a single trip? You may be surprised when you learn why he does that. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins crack open the mystery and explain why he risks breaking all those eggs. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit...
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5: What If My Husband Doesn’t Deserve Respect?
Show your husband unconditional respect? Yeah, right. What if he doesn't deserve it? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins talk through the difficulties faced by many wives whose husbands make it really hard to show respect. Wives knows this can be tricky, so Shaunti explains the practical steps used…
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4: What If We Butt Heads Over Parenting?
Do you and your husband butt heads over the kids? Are you often stuck being the disciplinarian while he gets to be the fun parent? Why would God put together two parents that are bent in such different directions? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins give three tips for handling those moments when…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner? Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation rather than experiencing the real benefits that come from saying “I do.”
HOSTED BY
FamilyLife Podcast Network
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Married With Benefits™ have?
Married With Benefits™ currently has 53 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Married With Benefits™ about?
We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner? Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation...
How often does Married With Benefits™ release new episodes?
Married With Benefits™ has 53 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Married With Benefits™?
You can listen to Married With Benefits™ on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Married With Benefits™?
Married With Benefits™ is created and hosted by FamilyLife Podcast Network.
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