Martini Shot
by Ricochet
When you’re filming a movie or a television show, when it’s the last shot of the day, the first assistant director will call out, “This is the Martini Shot!” I call these stories “Martini Shots” because they’re exactly the kinds of stories we tell — and lessons we learn — after we’ve wrapped for the day. - Rob Long
Episodes
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Forgiveness. That’s All There Is
Rob Long talks about Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You” — written as a graceful goodbye to Porter Wagoner when she left his show to go solo — as a way into the real question: how did Dolly stay beloved across a divided culture? He tracks the WNYC/Radiolab podcast Dolly Parton’s America, in...
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“Free to Pursue Other Opportunities”
Last week’s Martini Shot prompted a lot of very kind notes that read like eulogies for what is essentially a back-end redirect of an audio feed. In that spirit, Rob Long reflects on the many ways Hollywood tells you it’s over without ever quite saying so: the actor who fired his agent while the...
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Check Each Other for Mustaches
Years ago, a woman told Rob the greatest story he’d ever heard: Her doctor put her on testosterone cream — and then required her to attend weekly meetings with the other women who were also on it, so they could compare notes. Rob pitched it as a sitcom. The executives stared at him like he had…
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The Hugh Bonneville Rule
Jerry Lewis once blessed a nightclub audience by wishing them a life full of show business friends. Rob Long isn’t so sure that’s a blessing — show business friendship is a strange, contingent thing, built on projects that assemble and dissolve, sofas shared for a month, congratulatory phone…
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21 Seconds or Less
Rob Long is in Tbilisi, a city he last saw 26 years ago when it was broke and hopeful and is now prosperous and — inconveniently — cozy with Vladimir Putin. Turns out streaming had the same trajectory: total freedom, total data and somehow the timidest programming decisions in television history....
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Set it Down and Walk Away
The summer box office is having its best season since before the pandemic — and the first real hits weren’t the franchise machines, they were two cheap horror movies made by guys who started on YouTube. Naturally, the industry is busy reading the wrong signs: mine Reddit, buy a graphic novel…
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The Greatness of James Burrows
Rob Long was 24 years old when he met James Burrows, one of the creators and executive producers of Cheers, where he had just been hired as a staff writer on a 10 week contract. It didn't take 10 weeks for him to realize just how brilliant Burrows was. The Will & Grace and Friends director knew…
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A Little Human, A Lot Robot
Rob Long’s friend has a near-perfect system for staying in touch: a text every five weeks to the day, the wording on rotation, the calls auto-booked — friendship by tickler file, a little bit human and a lot robot. Naturally, Rob sets out to sabotage it. But AI in Hollywood is a much different,...
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Magnificently Dated
Clint Eastwood just turned 96 — older than the talkies, a man who’s been alive for every talking picture ever made. Which got Rob thinking about Dirty Harry and a 1952 thriller almost nobody remembers called The Sniper: same city, same crime, same rooftops, 19 years apart, and two completely...
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Heads Up
Rob Long is watching a Satyajit Ray film on Criterion while eating ice cream and staring at his phone — which means he is, essentially, just eating ice cream. Rob is a pro at keeping his head down. Writers do it at auditions, following along with their own words instead of watching what actors…
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Fan Fiction Focus Group
Rob Long has a favorite story about network upfronts: a television network, unable to decide which of three pilots to schedule, flew all three casts to New York on the same plane, collected focus group results mid-flight, and met them at the gate — whisking some into Manhattan and stardom, and...
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Wait, Hear Me Out
In Amsterdam last month, in front of a Dutch painting of a plump, nearly bald, angelic figure of indistinct gender, an old friend turned to Rob Long and said three words: “Hear me out.” It’s the great phrase that buys a few seconds of grace before you say something insane — along with its…
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Premium Parking
Rob Long remembers Radford Studios — the working lot in Studio City where the parking sheet promised “premium” spots that never quite existed, the guard who couldn’t understand why you’d skip the Leave It to Beaver street for the fifth floor of the garage, and a writer friend who stumbled,...
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Sound Off
Rob Long is at a bar on a Monday night, pretending to pay attention to a conversation while secretly watching CBS’ The Neighborhood on a TV across the room, sound off. He predicts every beat of the episode anyway. A friend in the business says that’s exactly the problem with those shows. Rob...
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Shut Up and Listen
There’s a lesson Rob Long learned early in his television career: When an actor has a problem with the script, the smartest thing you can do is nothing. Don’t talk. Don’t fix. Don’t explain. Just listen — because sometimes that’s all anyone really needs.
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I See Dead Shows
The TV comedy writers’ room has a reputation as a creative paradise — funny people, good lunches, great jokes. That reputation is not wrong. It just leaves out the part where everyone is being systematically destroyed. Rob Long makes the case that the destruction is the point — that the specific...
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Too Wordy
Rob Long has spent 30-plus years in the television business telling other people what’s wrong with their scripts. But the tables can — and often do — turn. Rob’s seminary classmate doing his first open mic informed Rob that his joke suggestions are, and this is a direct quote, “too wordy.” And…
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Who’s Watching the Bar?
Every writing project hits the same wall: the neurotic feedback loop of details that don’t add up. Who’s watching the baby? Who’s watching the bar? Rob Long has been around long enough to remember the lost art of script research. You’d messenger your draft to a company, and they would send it…
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The Monkey’s Paw Award
We’re finally through Oscar season, which means it’s time to think about prestige, status and the difference between the awards you want and the awards you get. Rob Long has a People’s Choice Award obtained through what can only be described as informed consent, a WGA Award for the Earth Day...
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Hollywood's Employed Unemployeds
A friend asked Rob Long for career advice at Zankou Chicken. Rob hates giving advice — especially career advice, which is mostly just autobiography dressed up as wisdom. But while his friend waited for an answer, Rob started thinking about a leather jacket he bought in the early 1990s with $400…
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‘Wake Up Dead Man’ and Religion on Screen
Whether it was Sally Field as The Flying Nun or Julie Andrews playing a novitiate in The Sound of Music, audiences used to watch priests and nuns and ministers — unremarkably — as part of American life on screen. But that all went away, and Rob Long is well aware why that is. Church attendance...
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My Dutch Boyhood
Michael Lynton, the former CEO of Sony Pictures, has a new book that tells the story of greenlighting the Seth Rogen comedy that provoked North Korea into hacking his studio. He traces it back to an awkward childhood in Holland and a lifelong need to fit in with the cool kids. Rob Long also had…
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Faith Is So Hot Right Now
Rob Long tries — unsuccessfully — to convince his Hollywood friends that seminary isn’t a branding exercise. His stint at Princeton, where he’s working towards a Masters in Divinity and ordination, has all the hallmarks of a great pilot. But according to Rob, it’s the opposite. Show business has...
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Catherine O’Hara, A Writer’s Dream
The late and irreplaceable Catherine O’Hara’s greatness lived in the microscopic choices — the mouthed lines, the half-beats, the emotions stacked on top of jokes — none of which were written down, and all of which made the comedy work. From Waiting for Guffman to Best in Show to Beetlejuice, she...
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It Didn't Matter That I Was Right
Correcting others in public is an irresistible temptation — and almost always a mistake. Rob learned that lesson early, as a young writer on Cheers, when he pointed out that a character, a sort of ‘80s finance type, couldn’t actually be arrested for launching a hostile takeover as the line was...
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What Happened to Our Great Parties?
Awards season is here, which means Hollywood is again awash in parties, cocktails and mocktails. And yet, somehow, none of it feels like much of a celebration. Rob Long remembers the best awards party he ever went to — the one no one planned — and traces how an industry that once knew how to have...
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‘Heated Rivalry’ and The Oldest Trick in Showbiz
Heated Rivalry, the horny hockey drama, employs a classic Hollywood formula: Sprinkle in some nudity, and suddenly the odds of your crapshoot becoming a hit improve. Like the perpetually packed “European-style” pool in Las Vegas, audiences are drawn in by the allure of illicit skin. And in a...
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Quibi: Short Form, Long Regrets
The easy thing to say about anything new in show business is, “Never gonna work.” In the case of Quibi — Jeffrey Katzenberg and Meg Whitman’s short-form mobile streamer — plenty of people laughed, and they were right to. But did Quibi fail because it was a bad idea, or because it spent and…
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Lucky Enough to Have Too Much
As Rob Long sits in his small New York City apartment surrounded by things — hard copies of old scripts, four umbrellas — he feels lucky to have it all. And in an industry where even modest success feels like a lottery ticket, Rob asks us to pause and consider an annual plea: supporting My…
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Stop Waiting for Hollywood to Save You
Rob Long once walked into a packed table read for a Paramount show airing on CBS, only to learn that Paramount had announced it was buying the network that very morning. Suddenly every exec who feared for their job materialized, bringing tension, chaos, and definitely not enough doughnuts. It’s...
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How to Stay in the Game When the Axe Swings
When the axe swings in Hollywood today, there’s no cushy deal, no soft landing, no assistant guarding your Rolodex anymore like in the old days. You’re out — at least for the moment. But after the gate stops lifting for you, there is a way back in. And it’s the same one it’s always been: you keep...
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The Tao of Bob Broder
Bob Broder — legendary agent, executive and showrunner-whisperer — saw Hollywood for what it was: a sprawling mosaic of chaos, ego and opportunity. As Rob Long remembers of Broder, who first represented him in the Cheers years, and who recently died at 85, he “had a way of scanning for cracks and...
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My 20 Years in Hollywood
A young hopeful recently asked Rob Long how to break into showbiz. His reply? “Bad timing — there’s no business left.” But for Rob, that’s also the fun part. When the old temples crumble, you get to build your own. Every Golden Age ends just as you arrive — usually somewhere on the 10 freeway —…
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The Human Fly & the Kardashians
In 1923, to promote Harold Lloyd’s Safety Last!, the studio didn’t buy ads — it bought a spectacle. They hired Harry F. Young, “The Human Fly,” to scale a Manhattan hotel in honor of the film’s most famous stunt (you know the one). He made it about 10 stories up before falling to his death — and...
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Ellison’s Paramount Goes to the Dentist
When Rob Long was 18, a dentist said his wisdom teeth had to go. His father told him to hang up the phone: “The whole wisdom tooth thing is a scam.” Forty years later, Rob's fine — mostly. And now, watching David Ellison try to merge Paramount and Warner Bros. in an industry where economies of...
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Psychos, Muggers, Thieves (And Agents)
Those who lived in New York during the ’70s and ’80s knew to carry around “mugger money”: a small wad of bills kept handy on the assumption you’d eventually be mugged. While New York has improved since then, the concept of “mugger money” remains alive and well in Hollywood. The managers with...
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Back to School, Hollywood: Start with 'Porky’s'
In show business, “after the holiday” — Labor Day, that is — are the three magic words that make August a breeze and September feel like back to school. But for Rob Long, it actually does mean back to school, as he starts his second year in the Master of Divinity program at Princeton Theological...
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Bip Bip Bip: Showbiz’s Lost Language
Industry jargon once separated the insiders from the posers. Rob Long remembers a network president who tried to talk the talk — pitching a spinoff with a cheery “bip bip bip” and some magician-like hand gestures. Cue hours of mocking behind closed doors. But the bigger joke may be on Hollywood...
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You’ll Eat Lunch in This Town Again
Years ago, a well-known comic actor hosted an ill-fated late-night show that was canceled halfway through its 13-week run. But rather than leave town under a cloud of immense failure, this guy went to lunch. According to Rob Long, it was “the bravest lunch I’ve yet seen eaten,” and the comic was...
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Here’s What New Paramount Should Really Do
Rob Long’s experience with Paramount goes back so far, he was there in the Gulf and Western days. He was there when Barry Diller fought Sumner Redstone for the company in 1994 for the company — and lost. He’s seen Viacom and CBS and everything in between. So as David Ellison takes over the…
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Hollywood vs. TikTok
Walk up Madison Avenue, and there’s Hermès, Gucci and Tom Ford. Then, down in Soho is The RealReal, a luxury consignment store where you can find largely the same Gucci stripes, pebbled Hermes leather or giant Tom Ford zippers. The stuff is just a little used — and a whole lot cheaper. That’s the...
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No One Knew How Johnny Carson Voted
Stephen Colbert’s out, Greg Gutfeld’s in, and late-night TV is a shell of its former self. Rob Long breaks down what went wrong, why Johnny Carson wouldn’t survive 2025, and how Kimmel, Stewart, Meyers, and Oliver turned late-night into political homework at bedtime — while fighting over the same...
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When Will the Young Lions Finally Attack?
Recording from Botswana, Rob Long figured he was as far as he could get from the chaos of showbiz. But it turns out that the wild African plain is a lot like Hollywood. Directors? They’re the Cape buffalo: loud, bossy and always wearing a headset (he’ll explain). Buzzards are akin to agents (no...
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Never Talk Down to Your Audience — Even When They Have Terrible Taste
Some debates are nuanced. For Rob Long, this isn’t one of them: Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace is a disaster, from the pod racing to Jar Jar Binks. No amount of revisionist history can make George Lucas’ Star Wars prequel any less disappointing. Yet Rob once had a meeting with a...
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Dumb Comedies Will Save Hollywood
As Rob marks a milestone birthday while traversing France, his thoughts drift — as they often do — from real life to showbiz. Gone are his days of being 24 years old, writing for 20 million viewers on Cheers. In their place: streaming “drops” that sound more like bodily functions than cultural...
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What Keith McNally Can Teach Hollywood
Keith McNally isn’t in showbiz, but he might as well be. Whether you’re dining at Balthazar or, like Rob, a frequenter of Minetta Tavern, it’s all lights, noise and timing. The food matters, but it’s the vibe that keeps people coming back — and the same goes for Hollywood. It’s not just plot and...
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'Cheers' & Art of the 'Norm!' Entrance
If a joke falls flat, you’ve got two options: fiddle with the set-up or adjust the punchline. That’s comedy writing 101 — unless you had George Wendt. As Norm on Cheers, George’s timing, presence and even just how he walked into the bar got a laugh. But Norm was a lovable loser, while George was...
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The Missing Middle-Zone Shows
The best TV shows are like the best restaurants, says Rob Long: familiar, comforting, and just stylish enough. Not everything needs to be a tasting menu or guilty junk — sometimes you just want a steak, buttered broccoli, baked potato and a laugh. So in this era where prestige and junk reign in...
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My ER Trip to Grey's Anatomy: Gen Z
This week, Rob wakes up spinning — literally — and ends up in the ER being evaluated by what appears to be the cast of Grey’s Anatomy: Gen Z. It wasn’t a stroke (spoiler), just vertigo, but that doesn’t stop Rob from noticing these physicians seemed to behave a little too much like TV doctors…
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The Trickery of Tariffs & Incentives
As President Trump involves himself in showbiz finances, Rob Long raises the problem of what happens when government gets involved in Hollywood spreadsheets: Everyone above the line gets a raise because A. money is fungible; and B. greed. And below the line? Taxpayers in whatever state is…
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About this show
When you’re filming a movie or a television show, when it’s the last shot of the day, the first assistant director will call out, “This is the Martini Shot!” I call these stories “Martini Shots” because they’re exactly the kinds of stories we tell — and lessons we learn — after we’ve wrapped for the day. - Rob Long
Hosted by
Ricochet