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PODCAST · comedy

Metaphiles

by Metaphiles

Each week The Phellas (Zac Caffrey and Jason Ford) break down the WE, the WORLD, and the WHY of a topic - discussing how it relates to them, how it relates to the human race at large and why it exists at its very core. All that probably sounds pretty heady, huh? Well, don't worry about it - it's all about the yuks, folks.These audio-only versions are pulled straight from our video episodes available for free on YouTube. As a result of laziness, no visual gags have been edited out.(Audio episodes will be released twice a week until we're caught up)

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Episodes

  1. 116: Jay Becomes Addicted to Drugs, Zac is Pregnant -- [Season Finales]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 11/16/25) Their massive business deal having fallen through, The Phellas attempt to soldier on through an episode amidst the dismantling of their studio and the potential loss of everything they hold dear. Now THAT'S how you write a synopsis of a season finale...

  2. 115: Do You Smell What The Rock's Personal Chef is Cooking? -- [Chunks]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 9/29/25) It ain't hunks, it ain't chucks - it's Chunks and it's going to change everything for you for the better - so get to it, Chum.Like, comment, subscribe, beef stew, etc.Plunks:Jay - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac -...

  3. 114: Missouri: The Liar's State -- [Florida]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 9/15/25) Jay is from there, Zac has been there - It is the place in the world that has killed the MOST grandparents (probably, don't quote me on that) - The Phellas are talkin' FLOOR-DUH / FLAH-RI-DAH and it's...it's right here!Like, comment, subscribe, alligator,...

  4. 113: I Walked In On My Grampa, He Was Gooning To The Hoover Dam -- [Dams]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 7/29/25) Hey, maybe watch it and find out. JK, JK - The Phellas talk about dams and some other stuff, too. Oh...I guess that's all I've got after all. It's a good episode!Like, comment, subscribe, keep water in one spot, etc.Plug|||||s:Jay's thing -...

  5. 112: Foghat IS Cool -- [Cool]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 7/21/25) Oh, are you reading this? I just wrote it, didn't even really think about what it was gonna say or anything. If you're reading it that's fine, but if not it's whatever...Cool.Like, comment, subscribe, or don't, no biggie, etc.Check these plugs out, I...

  6. 111: Why Can't We Not Make Any Decisions? -- [Decisions]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 6/18/25) Oh, hi there! Did you miss me? The guy who writes the episode descriptions? I sure missed you. Anyway they talk about some bullshit in this one, I don't really know, I'm just so psyched to be back here, doing my thing, writing episode descriptions for...

  7. 110: I Lost the Jalapenos Attached to A Pork Chop Account This Week -- [Sour]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 3/17/25) This one is filthy. I'm sorry, I just don't go for that kind of humor. I know it's my job to write these descriptions and make the show sound appealing and stuff, but I just don't know what they thought they were doing with all the talk about ejaculating....

  8. 109: For The Price of Just A Few Cups of Coffee, You Could Buy Us Coffee -- [Checks]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 2/24/25) The Phellas talk about Checks. What do you want from me? I'm supposed to be funny in these every week? I mean, it's THEIR job to be funny, not mine, ya know?Like, comment, subscribe, ripping noise, etc.Something plugs:Jay's Novella -...

  9. 108: I'd Like To Keep Having A Good Time, If Possible, For Eternity -- [Toothpicks]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 2/5/25) The Phellas are having a good time this episode. There's really not much more to it than that, just strap in and know they're enjoying themselves. ToothpicksLike, comment, subscribe, birchwood, etc.The toothpickin' plugs:Jay's Novella -...

  10. 107: Here Lies This Topic -- [Tombstones]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 1/28/25) YES, they mention the pizzas too, don't worry!Like, comment, subscribe, RIP this episode description, etc.Beloved Plugs:Jay's Novellahttps://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EPhttps://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesCaring Hashtags:#tombstone…

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  11. 106: Electricity's Dollar Bills -- [Batteries]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 12/27/24) Seems good...

  12. 105: Thick Thoughts on Thicc Thots on TikTok -- [TikTok]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 12/9/24) The Phellas tok about Tok this week and I'm not gonna lie to you...Well... You'll see.Like, comment, subscribe, swipe, etc.Ol' plugs:https://www.denovo.press/the-strayhttps://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesOl' hashtags:#tiktok #comedy #comedyshow...

  13. 104: Take Me to Mummy Movie, Mommy! -- [Sequels]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 11/25/24) The boys are back in town.Or something.Like, comment, subscribe, subscribe again, etc.The same plugs but BIGGER -JAY'S NOVELLA:https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZAC'S EP:https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesThe same hashtags the same size - #comedy...

  14. 103: The Metaphiles Fall Into a Trap -- [Debut]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 11/8/24) This is the debut of this episode description.Now the debut is over.Now it's just the boring old rest of the description.This episode is about debuts. The whole thing is.It's...complicated. But also...funny.Like, comment, subscribe, uhhhh, etc.The...

  15. 102: Really Chill Podcast, Full of Really Chill Ideas -- [Sunglasses]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 10/30/24) These dudes are COOL.That's all there is to say, really.Like, comment, subscribe, just...SO cool, etc.The very cool plugs:Jay's very cool novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's very cool electronica EP -...

  16. 101: Even In Outer Space I Get No Respect -- [UFOs] (with Travis Caffrey)

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 10/14/24) Zac's brother Travis joins The Phellas to discuss flyin' sorcerers. Oh, excuse me, it's flying saucers. Please don't let my mistake distract you from this excellent episode. Sorry. I gotta go.like, comment, subscribe, probe, etc.Actual plugs, no doubt...

  17. 100: Like a Sock That the Floor Wears -- [Carpets] (LIVE at The Mouthhole)

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 9/9/24) It's the 100th episode description. Boy, we sure have come a long way. Describing episodes, making jokes about describing episodes, making jokes about THAT. It's been one heck of a journey and I'd like to thank you for definitely having read all 100 of the...

  18. 099: I'll Bet You A Million Dollars Thing Are Gonna Get Worse -- [Billy Mays]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 8/25/24) Look y'all, I'm straight up on a vacation right now as I'm writing this and I don't feel like it, so just watch the thing. It's from 2009 or something.Like, comment, subscribe, vacation, etc.Plugs joke:Jay's - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's -...

  19. 098: I Never ASKED To Have Elbows, MOM! -- [TBD]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 8/14/24) Imagine an episode where The Phellas don't know what the topic is when they start the episode. You don't have to imagine it - this IS that episode! Sorry for the subterfuge. Anyway - watch it now, okay?Like, comment, subscribe, I can't really do a fourth...

  20. 097: I Look Forward To That Day With Saliva In My Jowls -- [BBQ]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 7/23/24) WARNING!Do NOT watch this episode on an empty stomach.Or do, I really have no right to tell you what to do, I'm just the guy who writes the episode descriptions. Sorry. I really crossed a line there.Like, comment, subscribe, pulled pork, etc.PlugsBQ:Jay's...

  21. 096: Nicefellas -- [NYC]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 7/16/24) Start spreadin' the news,We're podding todayYou want to be a part of itMetaphiles, Metaphiles(etc)Like, comment, subscribe, Saks Fifth Avenue, etc.Plugs, etc - Jay's novella:https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's...

  22. 095: Bareheaded Speakeasy -- [Hats]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 7/1/24) Derby, Trilby, Bumby, Poomy, Swicky, Cronky, HATS.Like, comment, subscribe, "macaroni"Them plugs:Jay's novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP - https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesThem hashtags:#hats #style #fashion #comedy #comedyshow...

  23. 094: Sorry About All The Syllables -- [Haikus]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 6/13/24) This is a new epIt is about the haikuAnd some other stuff--Like, comment, subscribe, Seven more syllables joke, and et cetera--Plugs (not in haiku):Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP -...

  24. 093: If I'm In Heaven, Am I Having To Hear AC/DC? -- [Jukeboxes]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 5/28/24) I'll be honest, I simply don't feel like writing a description at this time.Like, comment, subscribe, a fourth thing, etc.Plugs:Jay's novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP - https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesHashtags:#music...

  25. 092: Shooting Up Skateboards -- [Sass]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 5/13/24) Uh uh, girlfriend - don't be coming around this description looking for me to explain this episode to you - you just better go on ahead and watch that thang, honey. (They talk about Sass.)like, comment, subscribe, Z-snap, etc.Sassy Plugs:Jay's Novella -...

  26. 091: LaCroix Waterbed -- [LaCroix]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 5/5/24) This week it's Phella Vs. Phella as Jay is a fan of LaCroix and Zac is NOT?Will they tear each other limb from limb and cause utter chaos to ensue? Or will they kinda just shoot the shit about it for an hour and change? I won't tell!Like, comment…

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  27. 090: I'd Buy THAT Shirt For My Horse -- [Dogs]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 4/28/24) Bark bark. Woof woof. Arf arf.Like, comment, subscribe, bones, etc.Pluggos:Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP - https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesTaggos:#dog #dogs #animals #pets #pet#comedy #comedyshow #podcast #podcasts...

  28. 089: To Each His Own According To The Size Of His Foot -- [Bigfoot] (With Joe Page)

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 4/15/24) The Phellas are joined this episode by the singular Joe Page to discuss Bigfoot and that's just a fact.Like, comment, subscribe, Patterson/Gimlin, etc.The Real Plugs:Jay's novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP -...

  29. 088: Couch Is Better For Being Awake -- [Beds]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 4/7/24) There's nothing hidden at the end, it's just a mistake. I know that seems like a lie, but it's really the truth.Like, comment, subscribe, something about beds, etc.The plugs:Jay's one - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's one -...

  30. 087: 69ing Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" -- [Experiments]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 3/28/24) .ti htrow saw ti epoh I ?uoy t'nera ,flesruoy tnemirepxe elttil a ni degagne er'uoy won dna stnemirepxe tuoba lla si edosipe siht esuaceb esrever ni si noitpircsed edosipe sihTLike, comment, subscribe, sdrawkcab, etc.:sgulPJay's...

  31. 086: Sorry I'm Late, My Car Was Late -- [Buses]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 3/21/24) This episode costs $2 to watch and takes about an hour and a half to get there. Just kidding, those are things buses do. Well - the hour and a half part is both.Like, comment, subscribe, uhhhh a bus thing, etcPluggin'Jay's...

  32. 085: And Larry The Cable Guy As The Voice Of The Boat -- [Gilligan's Island]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 3/14/24) Gilligan's Island Episode 85 (s3e17) "Court-Martial"The Skipper becomes depressed when a radio bulletin announces that he has been declared at fault for the loss of his charter boat. The Professor recreates the Minnow voyage to disprove the charge that…

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  33. 084 - How To Draw A Blob -- [Notebooks]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 3/3/24) Ya ever see a bunch of pieces of paper all bound together with maybe a front and back cover? Yeah, well that's a notebook. Wanna know more about that? Yeah, well that's this episode. OKAY?Like, comment, subscribe, loose-leaf, etc.Them ol' good ol'...

  34. 083: Gaga Does Not Rhyme With Camera -- [Divas]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 2/25/24) Oooooooooooo la la la la la la oooh oooh ooohLike, comment, subscribe, believe in life after love, etc.Plugs, yeah:Jay's Novellla - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP:https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releases#music #singer #diva #taylorswift...

  35. 082 - The Pleasure Is In The Peeling -- [Bananas]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 2/12/24) ORANGE you glad you didn't SPLIT from...You know what?...I can't do this...I can't write the description with the banana puns in it...I can't and I won't and that's my truth. The Phellas talk about bananas this week, but that doesn't mean that I should…

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  36. 081 I Think What Calvin Thinks And I Pee On What Calvin Pees On -- [Bumper Stickers]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 2/1/24) There's no getting around it, if you're a bumper sticker FAN...This might be a tough episode for you.Like, comment, subscribe, scrape that thing off of there, etc.My other plugs are hashtags:Jay's Novellahttps://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's...

  37. 080: Joif Boizoifs -- [Amazon]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 1/14/24) Wanna buy something? Wanna do it without leaving your house? Then this episode is for you!Like, comment, subscribe, prime, etc.Amazon Plugs:Jay's Novella -https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP - https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesAmazon...

  38. 079: Holy Beluga! -- [David Attenborough] (with Laura Felts)

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 1/7/24) The return of Laura Felts!What else do you need to know?Like, comment, subscribe, I'm sleepy, etc.Planet Plugs:Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP - https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesLife on Hashtags:#davidattenborough…

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  39. 078 - Run As Fast As You Can To Slam Your Head Into Another Head -- [Football].mp3

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 12/31/23) Who's ready for some Metaphiles talking about Football?You are, hopefullyLike, Comment, Subscribe, uh....Line of Scrimmage?..., etc.Hut, hut, hut, PLUGSJay's novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP -...

  40. 077 MythBustersBusters -- [Snow]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 12/20/23) It's cold. It's wet. It has to get shoveled. It makes driving harder.But WE DON'T CARE!Like, comment, subscribe, no two are the same, etcPluggy wonderland:Jay's Novellahttps://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's...

  41. 076: Come Up With Bread And Then We'll Talk -- [Butter]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 12/13/23) In this episode - a cautionary tale, a new phrase is learned, a potential friendship is pitched and...uh....other stuff!Like, comment, subscribe, toast, etc.Buttery Plugs:Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP...

  42. 075: We Made A Thing That Was Smart And It Thought We Sucked -- [AI]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 12/1/23) This week's episode description was provided by ChatGPT:Join hosts Zac and Jay in this week's hilarious episode of their comedy podcast as they dive into the fascinating world of artificial intelligence (AI). With their signature wit and banter, Zac and…

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  43. 074 - Put A Condom In There, Put A Beef Jerky In There -- [Wallets]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 11/24/23) Get a haircut!

  44. 073: Legroom Is A Commodity -- [Jacuzzi]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 11/12/23) Before you watch this episode, go ahead and watch the last one first. They're not connected at all...I'm just sayin'Like, comment, subscribe, jet of water up your butt, etc.Plugggggggs:Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP -...

  45. 072:Some People See The Injustices Of The World And Think "Let's Do A Podcast About It"-[Vigilantes]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 11/7/23) When the justice system lets ya down, fear not.Whenever there's a Grapes of Wrath reference, The Phellas'll be there.Vigilantes. What?Like, Comment, Subscribe, killdozer, etc.Masked Plugs:Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP -...

  46. 071: Confetti Doesn't Throw Itself -- [Pizzazz]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 10/30/23) Ooh la la, The Phellas discussin' pizzazz?! What even is that?! This is gonna be good. Let's watch!Like, subscribe, comment, Korn on Monk, etc.Pizzazzy Plugs:Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP -...

  47. 070: Boomers Just Don't Understand Airfryer -- [Microwaves]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 10/17/23) Look, I'll be honest, I don't really remember what happens in this episode.It's probably really funny...?Like, subscribe, comment, woof woof, etc.Pluggos:Jay's novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP -...

  48. 069: Hingsight Is 69/69 -- [Texture]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 10/9/23) In this very very long episode, Zac says "memorandum" when he meant to say "moratorium". That's about it.Like, subscribe, comment, uhhhhhh, etc.Them dang ol' plugs:Jay's thing -https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's thing -...

  49. 068: The Funnier The Joke Is, The Better the Spider Tastes -- [Frogs]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 9/21/23) The Phellas discussing The Phrogs. You know it.Like, comment, subscribe, ribbit, etc.Plugs, yeah:Jay's Novella - https://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EP - https://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesHashtags, yeah:#frog #frogs #toad #toads #comedy...

  50. 067 - Daytime is a Meme -- [Night]

    (Originally posted to YouTube on 9/3/23) Hey, look out a window right now. Is the sun out? Well that's some BS right there. Night.Like, comment, subscribe, wolf howling, etc.Pluggin'Jay's Novellahttps://www.denovo.press/the-strayZac's EPhttps://chopchopchang.bandcamp.com/releasesTaggin'#night...

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

Each week The Phellas (Zac Caffrey and Jason Ford) break down the WE, the WORLD, and the WHY of a topic - discussing how it relates to them, how it relates to the human race at large and why it exists at its very core. All that probably sounds pretty heady, huh? Well, don't worry about it - it's all about the yuks, folks.These audio-only versions are pulled straight from our video episodes available for free on YouTube. As a result of laziness, no visual gags have been edited out.(Audio episodes will be released twice a week until we're caught up)

HOSTED BY

Metaphiles

CATEGORIES

comedy

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does Metaphiles have?

Metaphiles currently has 116 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is Metaphiles about?

Each week The Phellas (Zac Caffrey and Jason Ford) break down the WE, the WORLD, and the WHY of a topic - discussing how it relates to them, how it relates to the human race at large and why it exists at its very core. All that probably sounds pretty heady, huh? Well, don't worry about it - it's...

How often does Metaphiles release new episodes?

Metaphiles publishes regularly with 116 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.

Where can I listen to Metaphiles?

You can listen to Metaphiles on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts Metaphiles?

Metaphiles is created and hosted by Metaphiles.
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