Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships
by Multiamory
Multiamory offers support and advice for modern relationships. Whether you are monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, casually dating, or if you just do relationships differently, we see you and we’re here for you. Multiamory is a proud member of Pleasure Podcasts. For network details, contact [email protected].
Episodes
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601 - Polyamory as a Political Movement with Dr. Kim TallBear
This week we're excited to welcome back Kim Tallbear to the show to talk about polyamory as a political movement. Kim TallBear (Sisseton-Wahpeton Oyate citizen) is Professor of American Indian Studies at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. She is the author of Native American DNA: Tribal...
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600 - So Your Hinge Sucks at Hinge-ing
We're discussing hinge partners this episode, specifically what to do when a hinge partner is struggling at being a good hinge. We've got some updated research to go over since our last episode about hinges, and we'll have some actionable ways to deal with the frustration of a bad hinge. Join our...
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599 - What Do I Do When Both My Partners Want Marriage? Listener Q&A
We're tackling another listener question this episode, this time about marriage. What happens when multiple people want to marry you? If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community! Quality lube is essential for good sexual…
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We Made History. Let's Do It Again: The 2026 OPEN Community Survey
OPEN's 2026 non-monogamy community survey is officially live, and we want you to be part of it! Add your voice here: multiamory.com/survey Last year's survey was the largest research study of the non-monogamous community ever, with over 5,800 people from 65 countries. Multiamory listeners were…
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598 - Over-Functioning in Relationships: Why Taking On More Makes It Worse
This week we're diving into over-functioning in relationships and how it can actually work against us. We'll be discussing some of the research available about group projects, how anxiety affects negotiation, and how accurately (or inaccurately) we tend to estimate our own contributions to a...
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597 - What are Asexuality and Aromanticism (with Patrick Bex)?
We're excited to welcome Patrick Bex to the show this week to talk about asexuality and aromanticism! Patrick is an aroace advocate, content creator, and author best known for his Fluently Aspec social media platforms that educate about aromantic and asexual experiences. Join our amazing…
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596 - Relationship OCD and Non-monogamy (with Sheva Rajaee MFT)
Today we're diving into the world of OCD, specifically relationship OCD, with Sheva Rajaee. Sheva is a licensed marriage and family therapist, director of The Center for Anxiety and OCD, and the author of the book Relationship OCD. She is globally recognized for her work treating and addressing...
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595 - Does My Metamour Owe Me Their STI Results? - Listener Q&A
We've got another Q&A episode this week, and this time we're answering two listener questions about sexual health and STI protocol among non-monogamous partners! Generally speaking, non-monogamous folks have better communication around safer sex and STI risk, but sometimes communication…
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594 - Open Up Your Relationship in X Easy Steps
Today we're diving into the internet's favorite genre of relationship advice: open up your relationship in X easy steps! We spent time gathering advice and tips from journalists, therapists, forums, coaches, and Reddit to try to gather some common knowledge and put it together into our own…
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Summer Break
Hey everyone, we’re taking this week off! Here's where you can find us (or a version of us) while we're away: Hang out in our private Discord community → multiamory.com/join Join Dedeker on retreat in Italy → multiamory.com/retreat Work with Emily — she has a few open slots for coaching clients...
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593 - The Lost Science of Flirting
Today we're diving into the science of flirting! Nowadays, flirting feels harder than it used to be, and we're going to be bringing some of the research to light about why that is. Flirting isn't a lost art, it's actually an invisible one - we only pick up on someone flirting with us about 28% of...
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592 - Intimacy When Sex Is Off the Table - Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling another listener question about intimacy that doesn't involve sex. Whether it's a physical reason or just a desire to be intimate without having sex, we all want to connect this way sometimes. We're going to talk about some techniques from sex therapy, the science of great…
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591 - Shift Anxious Attachment with Your Body, Not Your Brain (with Orit Krug)
We're excited to welcome Orit Krug back to the show to talk about anxious attachment from a somatic perspective! We'll be discussing relationship anxiety, the research there is on body-based intervention, and a demo on what addressing these anxieties looks like. Find more about Orit and her work…
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590 - Is Non-Monogamy Worth the Struggle?
This week we're hearing from some of our listeners. We recently polled listeners and asked you all to tell us what the hardest, complicated, messy parts of non-monogamy are, as well as the reasons why you wouldn't trade it for anything. We're going to hear from a few listeners about their…
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589 - This Too Shall Pass: The Science of Acceptance
Join our community and get the companion PDF Everything ends, from relationships to feelings to situations, to eventually, lives. We often frame this idea as something bad that's better not to think about, but in this episode, we're exploring how learning to accept this impermanence can help us...
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588 - Bridging Financial Gaps in Polyamory
We're talking about money this week, specifically financial gaps in non-monogamous relationships. Money is one of the most fraught topics in any relationship, and in polyamory things can get even more complex. We're going to be discussing some research about why money creates so much friction in...
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587 - Discomfort Around Sex: Listener Q&A
We're tackling another listener question this week and talking about discomfort and guilt around sex in non-monogamy. Even those of us who have been non-monogamous for a very long time still experience shame and guilt concerning sex with others sometimes. We'll be discussing some personal…
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586 - How to Support Your Partner Through a Breakup
Today we're revisiting a topic we've covered before...supporting a partner through a breakup. We're going to focus on managing your own emotions and feelings during a loss you're not a part of, particularly if you have mixed feelings about the situation. We'll discuss the science of the matter,...
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585 - The First Study on Relationship Anarchy with Dr. Nicole Thompson
We're excited to welcome Dr. Nicole Thompson onto the show to talk about her research on relationship anarchy! Dr. Nicole Thompson (she/her) is a queer Sex and Relationship Therapist, researcher, educator, and host of Modern Anarchy podcast. She is the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she...
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584 - Buddhist Perspective on Compersion with Dr. Marie Thouin
We're excited to share a discussion between Dedeker and Marie Thouin about compersion from a Buddhist perspective. Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion in consensual non-monogamy and beyond. She authored the first-ever scholarly book on compersion, two pioneering…
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583 - Is It a "Me" Problem or a "We" Problem? How to Know What to Bring to Your Partner
Today we're tackling another listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers! How do you discern what's a "you" problem versus a problem you should bring up with a partner? We're going to talk about the research on self-disclosure as well as some frameworks and tools to help you tell the...
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582 - Long Distance Relationships: Are They Worth It?
Today we're diving into the topic of long distance relationships! Are they worth having? What does the research say? We'll be discussing all of this and sharing some ways to evaluate whether or not a long distance relationship is best for you. We'll also be going into what makes them so hard…
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581 - Humor and Attraction with Dr. Paul Eastwick
Today we're excited to be joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick to talk about humor and the part it plays in attraction. Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility....
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580 - Actually, You Should Be Testing Your Partner
Have you ever tested a partner? Found yourself engineering a situation, dropping a hint, waiting for them to text first, all so you can see if they're as committed to you as you are to them? Uncertainty is hard in relationships, and if we don't feel safe enough to ask directly, we sometimes test...
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579 - Polysaturation vs. New Poly Energy: Listener Q&A
This week we're sharing another Q&A episode! We'll be discussing a listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers. Today we're chatting about how to know when you're polysaturated versus feeling restless in a way that signals you need something new. Want to have your question answered on…
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578 - Getting Back Together with an Ex: Great Idea or Terrible Idea?
We're back and refreshed after a week off, and for this week's episode, we're talking about getting back together with an ex. We'll be discussing some personal stories and reasons why we feel the urge to get back together with past partners. Join our amazing community of listeners at...
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577 - Should You Push Through the “Ick”?
Have you ever felt the "Ick"? Maybe you were in the beginning stages of a relationship and still evaluating if you're attracted to someone, getting to know them, and maybe, just maybe, one day you feel the Ick. Or maybe this is common for you; you get turned off by someone early on in a...
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576 - In Praise of Indirect Communication: Is Directness Actually Superior?
Today we're going back to our roots and discussing communication again! We're diving into direct and indirect communication during this episode, and talking about high context versus low context communication, the cultural and neurological differences that various types of communication show up…
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575 - I’ll Never Be Their First Priority: Listener Q&A
This week we're answering a question from a listener in another Q&A episode. We're going to be diving into feeling like you're never a priority for your partner, and what to do when you're kept a secret from friends and family. If you'd like a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode,...
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574 - How to Make Calendaring Not Suck
Today we're covering a topic that causes a lot of friction in a lot of relationships: scheduling. Sometimes, coordinating time with people we love - whether it's family, partners, or friends - feels impossible. And it turns out, it actually is impossible to do perfectly. We're going to be delving...
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573 - Is the Non-Monogamy in Vicky Cristina Barcelona Realistic? Film Critique with Love Factually
Today we're excited to be sharing an episode with Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of the Love Factually podcast! We're critiquing Vicky Cristina Barcelona's portrayal of non-monogamy and discussing the film as a whole. Eli Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University, with appointments in the...
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572 - Building Commitment Off the Relationship Escalator
Today we're talking about milestones in relationships, and how to build commitment when you're actively trying not to stay on the relationship escalator. We'll be discussing traditional milestones, why they're valued, how relationship milestones with one partner can affect other partners, and…
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571 - They're Unwinding from Monogamy. Should I Wait Around? Listener Q&A
Today we're diving into a question from one of our listeners about partners who recently left monogamy and are still adjusting to stepping off of the relationship escalator. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber! Join our...
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570 - Play as Resistance: featuring Gary Ware from Breakthrough Play and Normalizing Non-Monogamy
This week we're featuring an episode from our friends Emma and Fin at Normalizing Non-Monogamy with guests Gary Ware and our own Jase Lindgren! Emma, Fin, Gary, and Jase talk about play during this interview, how important it is for our health and wellbeing, and how to frame play as resistance in...
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569 - Why is Everyone So Tired of Dating?
Today we're tackling a concept that's on a lot of people's minds lately: burnout. Specifically, we'll be discussing dating burnout and fatigue, which seem to be rife on social media, dating apps, articles, what have you. We'll be diving into what the data says about the increase in dating apps…
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568 - When You Want More Time But Your Partner Won’t Give It
Today we're talking about time, both quality and quantity of it, and what to do if you and your partner end up clashing over it. We're going to discuss some research about shared time together as well as some of the different types of time you could be lacking in your relationship. Whether you're...
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567 - Is Toxic Individualism a Real Problem?
Today we're answering a question about toxic individuality, inspired by a post about not being able to share certain things with a partner. We'll touch on the idea of how much is too much information to share with partners about each other, managing compulsory non-monogamous baggage, and more. If...
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566 - More Than a Numbers Game: Dating Truths from Feeld's Data Team
Today we're diving into one of our favorite things - data! We're excited to welcome Sy Dusk and Alexandra Kilpatrick from Feeld. Sy is a data analyst and Alexandra is the head of UX research at Feeld, and both of them helped analyze our co-sponsored research survey on non-monogamy (find the study...
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565 - Results Are In: The Largest Non-Monogamy Study
Today we're excited to be joined by Brett Chamberlin and Dr. Amy Moors to discuss the recent results of the largest non-monogamy survey done to date. Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is the Founder & Executive Director of OPEN, a grassroots nonprofit advancing legal rights and cultural acceptance for...
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564 - Help! My partner's dates are difficult to endure! Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling a listener question from one of our Supercast supporters. We'll be discussing in depth how to help regulate yourself when your partner goes on dates, even if you have a solid self care plan in place. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join and get…
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563 - The Episode to Share with Your Parents: Remastered
This week, we're sharing a remastered version of an episode that aired back in 2023. This is the episode to share with parents, family, or other loved ones when you've come out as non-monogamous to them. For those who've had a loved one come out recently as non-monogamous, polyamorous, or...
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562 - Polyamory in a Red State with Stacey McLarty
We're excited to invite Stacey McLarty to the show as our guest today! Stacey is a Texas attorney who supports individuals and chosen families through affirming, wholistic legal services. She combines two decades of legal experience with her own lived experience in the non-monogamy, kink, and...
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561 - Level Up Your Polyamory: Common Newbie Mistakes (and How to Fix Them)
Happy New Year to you all! For our first episode of the new year, we bring you our hot new take with much wizer eyes on an older episode from back in 2016 about five mistakes newbies make in polyamory. Get the accompanying PDF on Supercast here: 561 Companion PDF Our initial list of newbie…
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560 - I'm Solo Poly, But I Want More: Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling two listener questions about being solo polyamorous and wanting a more entangled or anchored relationships, either with existing partners or while seeking such a relationship. We'll talk about the feasibility of escalating existing partnerships, as well as making time for...
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559 - The Struggle of Loneliness
We're covering the topic of loneliness in today's episode. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health crisis, and the physical health risks associated with loneliness are indeed staggering. We're going to dive into why loneliness seems to be at an all time high, pick...
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558 - This Is Your Brain on (Jealousy) Drugs
Today we're bringing back a remastered episode from way back in the day. We're going to be revisiting our first episode about jealousy, diving into the science behind it, why we feel it in certain situations, what's happening inside our bodies, and some tips on how to manage struggling with...
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557 - Is Sexual Rejection Hurting Your Relationships?
Today we're exploring rejection, specifically sexual rejection, and how it can affect our relationships. We'll first get into rejection itself and bids for connection, then discuss why we struggle with this. We'll go over Emily Nagoski's Dual Control model, and lastly, we'll talk about how to...
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556 - How Much is Too Much Information About My Other Relationships? Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling a listener question about sharing information within polyamorous relationships. We'll be talking about how much information is okay to share in relationships and how to make sharing it easier so everyone involved retains their autonomy. 2024 study by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker...
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Let's Have Some Fun For a Change! See You On The Foosball Court - Relationship Recess 2026
Get your tickets now before prices go up at the end of January! Tickets and details here: multiamory.link/recess2026 Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join and get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community! Multiamory was…
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555 - Reclaiming Spirituality as a Queer, Polyamorous Person with Brian G. Murphy
We're thrilled to be welcoming back Brian G. Murphy as a guest to the show! Brian is an organizer, author, and certified relationship coach helping LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people build thriving relationships on their own terms... without shame or "should"s. Brian is also co-founder of...
About this show
Multiamory offers support and advice for modern relationships. Whether you are monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, casually dating, or if you just do relationships differently, we see you and we’re here for you. Multiamory is a proud member of Pleasure Podcasts. For network details, contact [email protected].
Hosted by
Multiamory