Own Your Identity

What if the shame you carry about your body is actually tied to a deeper story you’ve believed about yourself?In this deeply personal episode, Jason shares vivid memories from his childhood and teenage years — from “shirts vs. skins” in PE to comparing himself to other boys, feeling exposed in his body, and believing he didn’t measure up as a man. He explores how body shame can shape identity, fuel comparison, distort confidence, and even become entangled with validation, masculinity, and same-sex attraction.You’ll also hear honest stories and reflections from men in the Own Your Identity community about insecurity, comparison, fitness, shame, and healing.In this episode:Why body shame often begins in small, confusing momentsThe hidden story many men attach to their bodiesHow comparison steals presence and confidenceThe overlap between body shame, validation, and same-sex attractionWhy a “better body” can’t heal a wounded identityA practical framework for healing body shameHow the gospel speaks to shame, exposure, and worthYou do not need a different body to begin living a meaningful life. You need a different story.Learn more about coaching and resources at ownyouridentitynow.com

“You’ve got what it takes.” That’s what my friend Noah writes to Timothy—a young man experiencing same-sex attraction (SSA) and feeling alone.In this episode, I share Noah’s letter and the impact it had on me. If you’ve wrestled with SSA, shame, identity, or your future, I hope this reminds you: you are not alone, and your story isn’t over.👉 Read Noah’s full letter: https://jasonmellard.com/dear-timothy-with-love-noah/👉 Coaching: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/groupcoaching

What are you avoiding that you don’t want to die wondering about?In this conversation with Harrison Bly, author of Bent on Men, we explore a simple but confronting rule of life: don’t die wondering.We talk about what it looks like to:Say the honest thing in friendshipsShare your story instead of hiding itGet curious about your attractions instead of fearing themTake small, meaningful risks that move you toward connectionHarrison shares how vulnerability didn’t come all at once, but through a series of small decisions to stop avoiding and start engaging.This episode is an invitation to stop playing it safe — and start living with courage, curiosity, and faith.Because the greatest tragedy isn’t failure… It’s living a life where you never stepped forward — and always wondered what could have been.About Harrison Bly:Harrison Bly is an author and speaker helping men find hope and freedom in the tension between faith, identity, and same-sex attraction. His book Bent on Men is a raw and honest look at his journey toward authenticity, healing, and connection. https://harrisonbly.com/🔗 Connect with OYIWebsite: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/Coaching: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/coaching/Take the SSA CLARTITY QUIZ: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/ssaquiz/🙌 If this resonatedLike, subscribe, and share this with someone who needs the reminder: You don’t have to stay stuck.

What happens when the story you’ve been telling yourself about your attractions begins to change?In this episode, Jason talks with Kevin, a graduate of the Own Your Identity group coaching program, about his journey from shame and isolation to honesty, community, and a renewed understanding of identity.Kevin shares about growing up with confusing attractions, the loneliness of secrecy, and the courage it took to finally open up to safe people. He also talks about how learning he wasn’t alone changed everything.This conversation is a reminder that your attractions don’t define you — and that sharing your story can be a powerful step toward freedom.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

What if you’ve been measuring the wrong thing? For years, I defined success in my SSA journey by whether I felt more drawn to women than men. In this conversation, I share why attraction isn’t a test — and how real growth is about staying grounded, aligned, and steady no matter what you feel.

Living with shame can make life so much harder than it needs to be. My friend Lare and I invite you to choose a greater future than what shame offers. You are not broken and you aren't alone.

Are your goals helping you become more alive—or just more controlled? This episode invites you to move beyond avoidance and into legacy, asking a simple but challenging question: what do people experience of life when they’re with you?For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com

What if part of our healing isn’t just honoring what hurt, but remembering what made you feel alive? In this episode, I reflect on wonder as a practical posture—one that calms the nervous system, expands perspective, and helps you engage life with greater openness and courage.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Do you brace yourself when someone says, "there you are"? In this episode, I discuss how this phrase can feel like pressure. But what if you let it be an invitation to just be yourself? For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

You don’t need to eliminate your attractions to be free.This episode reframes same-sex attraction as information rather than identity and offers a framework for responding with clarity, strength, and agency. Discover how to reclaim your power — and join the new course, Reclaim Power Over Attractions.

What if the first thing God asked a man to do wasn’t to lead, protect, or achieve—but to create? In this episode, we explore the overlooked masculine calling of creativity: shaping life, bringing order from chaos, creating safety, setting vision, and reflecting the generative heart of God. Whether you’ve doubted your influence or felt outside traditional masculinity—especially for men navigating SSA—this message will remind you of the creative strength God placed in you from the beginning. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Fantasy escapes reality. Vision transforms it. Vision gives direction, clarifies choices, changes what you tolerate, and activates courage.In this episode, you will learn to craft a clear and compelling vision capable of lasting transformation.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

If I received that promotion, I wouldn't be talking with you today. God used that disappointment to make space for something bigger. Now, I am a Certified High Performance Coach empowering men to live beyond their same-sex attractions and into their purpose. And I love it. What does God have next for you that requires space to hear?

A powerful reminder that masculinity isn’t earned — it’s shared. In this episode, we explore what it means to participate in masculinity, belong among men, and reclaim the identity God has already woven into you.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

I decided I didn’t want to experience sexual pleasure alone. I want my gift of sexuality to be used for connection, creation, and service. In this episode, I'll share three shifts that made the biggest impact for me: 1. Believe that it is not necessary. 2. See sexual energy as a force for service. 3. Get curious about the deeper desire.

For years, I’ve stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I saw my silhouette—the outline of me. But just beyond it, like a shadow I couldn’t escape, was the outline of the man I thought I had to be. Broader shoulders. Thicker chest. Sharper jawline. I didn’t always know where that outline came from. But one moment, one memory, gave it shape. For more tools to live beyond you same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Do you find compromise exhausting? In this episode, we’re diving into why living aligned with your values 100% of the time is actually easier than 99%. That 1% of compromise—the “just this once” moments—creates mental clutter, inner conflict, and drains your energy. But when you commit fully to who you are and what you stand for, you unlock clarity, peace, and freedom. Join me as we explore the problem with 99%, the power of identity-based boundaries, and practical steps to move from compromise to alignment. If you’re ready to stop negotiating with yourself and start living free, this episode is for you.For more tools to live beyond you same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

When I turned to gay porn, I wasn’t just escaping life—I was running towards feelings I desired. I wanted to feel strong, inspired, connected, and safe.The good news? You don’t need anything outside yourself to feel those things. You can choose them—right now. And God made you capable of that.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Learn to honor your anger, meet it with empathy, and process it in a way that helps you move forward. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Ever felt stuck in the fog of confusion, unsure of your next step? In this episode, we dive deep into how moments of uncertainty can actually be the catalyst for clarity, growth, and connection. I’ll share personal insights and practical tools to help you embrace the fog, navigate through it, and uncover the clarity waiting on the other side.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

How can we recognize the shift from admiration, to comparison, envy, or lust? In this episode, we will explore how to become more self-aware and navigate these moments a way that aligns with our values.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Have you ever found yourself longing to be noticed? To be chosen? To hear someone say, You matter. You’re enough. I see you. In this week’s podcast episode, I share:How the longing to be chosen shows up in our lives.Why these desires are not about shame but about deeper connection.A 7-step process to respond to intrusive thoughts and uncover the truth behind them.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Today, we will learn how to just be ourselves, present in the moment, without overcompensating, performing, or needing to be "extra", inspired by the carefree nature of my son on the soccer field. For more tools for living an empowered life and navigating same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Today, we’re going to talk about the things we didn’t learn from our dads, or our mentors, or our peers—and how that shaped us. But more importantly, we’re going to talk about how to fill that gap. Because here’s the truth: it’s not a liability. It’s an opportunity to grow, to connect, to stretch yourself, and to celebrate the journey of learning along the way.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

If you’ve longed for a life shared with a wife — a woman to build a future with, to be known and loved by, and to love in return—this episode is for you.Together, we’ll explore the deeper questions beneath “Am I Marriage Material?”

While I longed to be in the athletic, game-time locker room, energized with the team before stepping onto the field, I was doing good to make it through showering after junior high PE. If you’ve ever felt like me—like you didn’t measure up, were stuck on the sidelines, or hiding parts of yourself because you were afraid of being seen—this episode is for you. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Those five words can feel like a prison — locking us in shame, self-doubt, and fear. But what if that phrase could be transformed from a whisper of shame to a declaration of hope?For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Do your same-sex attractions feel overwhelming at times? Maybe it’s a physical sensation that catches you off guard. Maybe it’s a romantic feeling that stirs something in your heart. Or maybe it’s a thought pattern that loops in your mind. These things can feel powerful, but I want you to know they are not you. They are experiences that are just passing through.For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

When we admire something in others, it’s like God is whispering, “This is already in you. I’ve planted this seed—now let’s grow it together.” It’s not about striving to be someone else, it’s about stepping into the fullness of who He’s called you to be.For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

If you act out sexually with another guy, use porn, or entertain comparisons, what emotional home are you coming from? Is it loneliness? Shame? A need for validation? For many of us, those moments aren’t just about the act itself—they’re about seeking comfort in an emotional home we’ve lived in for years. For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Time is sacred. It’s a gift from God, entrusted to us to use wisely. But too often we waste it obsessing over things that don’t serve us—whether it’s comparing ourselves to others, spinning in shame, or acting out in ways that don’t align with our values. It's a missed opportunity to step into the life God has called you to live. Make the best use of your time and energy and get excited about what's next!For more tools to live beyond your unwanted attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

When we take small, courageous steps—whether it’s replacing a limiting belief, speaking truth over ourselves, or simply showing up when it’s hard—it’s so important to pause and celebrate. Why? Because celebration reinforces the behavior. It tells your brain, This matters. This is who I am now.For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Imagine waking up each day knowing that no matter what happens, you are loved, you are enough in Christ, and the best is yet to come. Imagine living with a confidence that isn’t shaken by circumstances, a peace that isn’t dependent on outcomes, and a hope that fuels you forward. That’s the power of certainty. And it’s available to you right now.For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Have you ever felt like you’re just too much for people? Like your personality, your struggles, or your past make you a burden, a liability, or someone who just doesn’t fit? If that’s you, I want you to know you're not alone.

For too long, the world has told men that gentleness and sensitivity are weaknesses. That to be a “real man,” you have to be tough, stoic, and unyielding. But the truth is: gentleness and sensitivity are not the opposite of strength—they’re the foundation of it. And when you pair them with boldness, you create a masculinity that is not only powerful but deeply human.For more tools to live beyond your unwanted attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com

Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind can turn a simple observation into a full-blown story? You see an attractive guy, and before you know it, your brain is off to the races. But what if you could stop the mental loop? You could say, "He's an attractive guy." Period.For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Have you ever felt like you’re on the outside looking in when it comes to friendships? In this episode, we’re breaking down those barriers and talking about how to build the deep, meaningful connections you were made for. For more resources to live beyond unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.Feeling stuck regarding SSA? Take this quiz to see where you are letting it hold you back in 5 key areas: ssaquiz.com.

In this episode, I share the top 3 things I sought from porn, and the 6 steps that made the biggest impact for me toward freedom from porn.For more resources for overcoming porn and living beyond unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Satan loves to turn up the bass on our negative thoughts, but every time you make a choice aligned with faith, love, and connection, you’re tuning into God’s frequency. You’re dismantling the lies and amplifying the truth. In this episode, I'll show you how.For more tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

 What is more powerful— staring at our sin or staring at the face of God? Gaze at the face of God. And let His holiness, His love, and His grace bring you to your knees—not in shame, but in awe.For additional tools to live beyond unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com

When you stay open in the midst of discomfort, you give yourself permission to hope, to dream, to love, to fail, to get hurt, and to rise again. That is the stuff of life. And it all starts with a willingness to sit in the discomfort, to hold space for the impossible, and to trust that something beautiful is on the other side.

In this episode, you'll hear men speak directly to the young man I call Timothy. When I record each of my podcast episodes, I imagine sitting across from him in his living room, letting him know he is not alone and is more powerful than he thinks. I've invited others to do the same. Listen in.Interested in joining a 12-week coaching group with me and a small group of men? Learn more and book a free discovery call at ​ownyouridentitynow.com/groupcoaching​ to apply.

My five-year-old son came up to me with this big grin on his face and asked, “Dad, can we wear matching clothes today?” He wasn’t trying to prove anything. He just wanted to connect. He wanted to say, “You’re like me. I’m like you.” It inspired me.For tools to live beyond your unwanted same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com.

Some mysteries are traps—they pull us into obsession, comparison, or fear. Others are healthy invitations—they call us to grow, to trust, and to live more fully alive. In this episode, I explore both.Visit ownyouridentitynow.com for additional resources.

This is the story of how my dad and I came in and out of each others lives. Whether you have been deeply hurt or have hurt others deeply, I want you to know you’re not alone. If you are experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction, visit ownyouridentitynow.com for resources.

Showing up fully in life regardless of my attractions or the story I told myself about them was a must for me. I have too much to give to stay stuck. Why is change a must for you?

One of the biggest struggles I’ve faced has been with my romantic feelings toward other men. It felt true that giving myself over to a man sexually would somehow be the answer to this deep longing I felt—to be wanted, to be loved, to feel whole. But it was a lie.

When we experience a strong unwanted attraction towards a guy, we’ve got a few options. We can move in the direction our mind and body are suggesting, fight against it, let it pass, or - my favorite - get curious. Would you like additional resources? Visit ownyouridentitynow.com

You have two choices: Believe others are ALWAYS better off for your presence or believe they MIGHT BE better off. In this episode, I'll share the benefits of believing with certainty that when you walk into a room, others are better off for it.

In this episode, I unpack two powerful actions to leverage our past and future to empower us in the present: 1. Decide that everything in our past is an asset rather than a liability.  2. Develop certainty that our future will exceed our expectations.