Ownit! Powercast

This week, I'm doing something a little different. I'm re-airing a conversation I recently had as a guest on The Positive Pen Podcast with John Rinaldo. John creates thoughtful conversations centered around storytelling, healing, reflection, creativity, and what he often calls the "quiet work of becoming." Through his The Positive Pen Substack and live video podcast, he brings people together to talk honestly about growth, resilience, identity, and the human side of healing. In this conversation, we talk deeply about why healing becomes harder in isolation, the difference between healthy and unhealthy support, and why emotionally safe community matters so much when trying to grow and change old patterns. And because this was originally recorded as a live video conversation on Substack, you can also watch the full video version over on John's page, The Positive Pen Podcast on Substack.

Many of the ways we show up in relationships aren't random…they're roles we learned early in life to navigate our environment and stay connected. In this episode, we take a closer look at the common roles people carry into adulthood and how those patterns quietly influence communication, boundaries, and emotional connection. Through relatable examples, this conversation helps you recognize how these roles may be showing up in your own life—and why they can feel so hard to change. With a grounded, realistic approach, you'll begin to see how awareness of these patterns can open the door to more honest and balanced relationships.   You didn't become "the easy one," "the funny one," or "the strong one"  for no reason. You became who you needed to be.     Check Out this New Resource:    Get Started Asking for What You Need! Identify the healthy ways to negotiate needs and build trust in your relationships. https://findyourvoicecourse.com/saywhatyouneed     Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!   Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:   https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words         Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Sign up here for your Power Hour, where you and I can get you started on your confidence journey!  https://findyourvoicecourse.com/power-hour  

Welcome to Episode 140 where explore an important part of healthy connection: the ability to be assertive when necessary. In this episode we take a quick dip into why being assertive means being honest, keeping the focus on ourselves, while taking care of our own needs and boundaries.  I think being assertive is integral to our self-esteem, where we reveal our truth to others, letting go of what they think of it or do with it on their end.  This means risking.  If we cannot do this, then the communication isn't safe, because then we resort to more passive-aggressive ways of getting our needs met.    Key Elements: Compare and contrast healthy and unhealthy behaviors in communication. Process what assertiveness isn't, to better understand what it is. Focus on how being assertive is all about taking responsibility.   Your ability to stand up for your truth is a muscle,  and the more you exercise it  the stronger it gets.  - Dan Palotta Resources: Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to Episode 140 where explore an important part of healthy connection: the ability to be assertive when necessary. In this episode we take a quick dip into why being assertive means being honest, keeping the focus on ourselves, while taking care of our own needs and boundaries.  I think being assertive is integral to our self-esteem, where we reveal our truth to others, letting go of what they think of it or do with it on their end.  This means risking.  If we cannot do this, then the communication isn't safe, because then we resort to more passive-aggressive ways of getting our needs met.    Key Elements: Compare and contrast healthy and unhealthy behaviors in communication. Process what assertiveness isn't, to better understand what it is. Focus on how being assertive is all about taking responsibility.   Your ability to stand up for your truth is a muscle,  and the more you exercise it  the stronger it gets.  - Dan Palotta Resources: Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 105 where we look at something we crave the most in all of our relationships: genuine, vulnerable connection. To have a bond with someone where we feel safe, seen and heard.  Accepted. In this episode we explore the many facets of what comprises a healthy emotional connection, from compatibility to boundaries and how the healthiest of our close relationships provide a deep, meaningful connection that is built over time with love and intention.  It means each of you being safe, healthy, and respectful with genuine caring and like mindedness, and good commitment to the relationship.  All the work you've been doing on yourself will naturally bring you to this place of wanting and needing good, strong substantive connection with others.      Key Elements: Define what healthy connection really means – and it's not just chemistry. Look at what might be getting in the way of bonding in your relationships. Explore how you can begin to practice being a better connector!     We all long to be seen, heard, loved, and understood. It's what we all need. ~ Luminita D. Saviuc   Resources: Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 99 where we continue the conversation about assertiveness, and especially one of the biggest obstacles we can face: People pleasing behavior.  It's a huge paradigm shift from being compliant to being assertive. Don't miss this one. In this episode, we explore people-pleasing behavior and how destructive it can be both for our self-confidence and our relationships. It is a hard habit to break yet can be done if you are committed to changing.  Key Elements: Describe the different people-pleasing behaviors and their purpose. Look at the most common origins of these behaviors that start in childhood. Define different tools you can begin to use to stop the behavior and start being more honest and direct.     "'No' might make them angry, but it will make you free.  If no one has ever told you, your freedom is more  important than their anger."  -Nayyirah Waheed   Resources: Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 99 where we continue the conversation about assertiveness, and especially one of the biggest obstacles we can face: People pleasing behavior.  It's a huge paradigm shift from being compliant to being assertive. Don't miss this one. In this episode, we explore people-pleasing behavior and how destructive it can be both for our self-confidence and our relationships. It is a hard habit to break yet can be done if you are committed to changing.  Key Elements: Describe the different people-pleasing behaviors and their purpose. Look at the most common origins of these behaviors that start in childhood. Define different tools you can begin to use to stop the behavior and start being more honest and direct.     "'No' might make them angry, but it will make you free.  If no one has ever told you, your freedom is more  important than their anger."  -Nayyirah Waheed   Resources: Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 98 where we start out the month focusing on the concept of assertiveness and how emotional honesty is such a big part of that ability to speak calmly yet firmly.  In this episode, we talk about how being brave means risking being open, being honest, confronting, setting limits with others and asking for what we need. We explore how to be assertive means to be genuine and therefore emotionally honest. It's the best way but not always the easiest nor is it always well received, mostly by people who themselves are afraid to be open.  But we know we can't be truly confident without it.   Key Elements: Discuss how fear is at the core of avoiding honesty. Look at four key areas we need to work on that comprise emotional honesty. Describe ways you want to come across, contrasted with how we hope no one describes us.     "Authenticity starts in the heart." - Brian D'Angelo   Resources: Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 86 where we continue our conversation about how important it is to discern the difference between genuine love and what is actually control in relationships. In this episode, look at how to spot the control issues either in yourself or in your partner, and control is all about fear. Real love is about healthy separateness, boundaries and freedom of choice. This is not just about our romantic relationships, but our friendships and family connections too. Key Elements: Point out some of ways you can tell if you're in a toxic relationship. Note some of the more subtle forms of control you may mistake for something else. Explore aspects of genuine love and friendship that is not based on fear.     A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dream, or your dignity. - Amindfullife.com   Resources:     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 80 where we wrap up the month on Hope – and the year – focusing on your Plan for the next one.  Defining your why for each area of your life will get you and keep you motivated. In this episode, we look at what matters most to you, and how you can focus on bringing each area of your life into alignment with your beliefs, values, and passions.  We utilize a guided exercise to help you step into the plan before you even start it… Key Elements: Explore the benefits of getting things into alignment. Focus on each area of your life and define the why you want to make changes. Get specific about change you would like to bring about.     "Your life is your message to the world.  Make sure it is inspiring." ― sady ali khan   Resources: If you need a refresher, check out episodes 036-040 on Values.   Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, YouTubeMusic or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 76 where we open up the concept of cultivating hope - especially in difficult times.  It's about the benefits of having hope, and why we can find it in the work we do on ourselves. In this episode, we talk about how all month we will be digging into ways to cultivate hope in our lives, even if we are struggling…and most of us are right now.  We examine the benefits to having hope both physically and psychologically, and break down how we will get more specific in the month's episodes. Key Elements: Look at how taking stock this month, and doing the work will create possibility. Examine how being hopeful can increase our motivation and boost our self-esteem. Explore how to dig into the work and identify things that need to change.   "Let your hopes, not your hurts,  shape your future. " – Robert H. Schuller   Resources:   I would love to hear your questions about empowerment and personal growth, as I put together Q & A episodes for the near future.  Just send me an email or message me on Instagram or Facebook.  I look forward to hearing from you! Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 66 where we explore the connection to having poor boundaries and having anxiety and stress.   In this episode, we identify why when we struggle with saying no, asking for what we need, confronting reality and risking rejection, we may end up anxious and angry, not being able to take care of what we need to get done, or take care of what we want.   Key Elements: Discuss external vs internal boundaries, and why both are important to reduce anxiety. Explore how not having boundaries can cause you to lose yourself in others. Talk about the impacts on our stress level, our relationships and our health.     "Nothing diminishes anxiety  faster than action."  —Walter Anderson Resources:   Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!  

Welcome to episode 60 where we get into how your early experiences, as you walked through developmental stages, helped to form your identity.  In this episode we explore the stages of psychosocial development we all walk through, and how early experiences can shape whether we successfully "completed" each stage, and the effects on our identity and self-esteem.    Key Elements: Delve into the concept of how our self-concept is formed early in life. Explain each stage of psychosocial development and how each stage builds upon the one(s) before it. Explore the impacts of ways your early experiences shaped you.   Where you are  is a result of who you were, but where you go  depends entirely on who you choose to be. - Hal Elrod Resources Previous Episodes to reference: Episode 019 Self-Concept and the Big Setup Episode 020 Early Messages Drive the Self-Concept Bus Episode 051 Manipulation in Action   https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html   [mc4wp_form id="5258"] Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 55 where we get back into a favorite focus of mine: Self-confidence. Although often mislabeled and misunderstood, I think true self-confidence is at the core of everything and when we get it together, our lives change dramatically. Join us for a look at what self-confidence is really all about. In this episode we are talking all about healthy self-confidence,  a topic very dear to my heart, and really at the core of what this podcast is all about. I've touched on it in different ways this past year, and really from boundaries to grief work and everything in between.  I believe all roads lead back to self-confidence when it comes to really living authentically and in the moment.   Key Elements: Explore what "owning it" has to do with being more confident. Look at how believing and trusting yourself is foundational. Discuss just how much it matters to be intentional and follow-through.     When You Start Seeing Your Worth, You'll Find it Harder to Stay Around People Who Don't - Anonymous   Resources For a deeper dive into personal responsibility, check out Episode 22!       Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 55 where we get back into a favorite focus of mine: Self-confidence. Although often mislabeled and misunderstood, I think true self-confidence is at the core of everything and when we get it together, our lives change dramatically. Join us for a look at what self-confidence is really all about. In this episode we are talking all about healthy self-confidence,  a topic very dear to my heart, and really at the core of what this podcast is all about. I've touched on it in different ways this past year, and really from boundaries to grief work and everything in between.  I believe all roads lead back to self-confidence when it comes to really living authentically and in the moment.   Key Elements: Explore what "owning it" has to do with being more confident. Look at how believing and trusting yourself is foundational. Discuss just how much it matters to be intentional and follow-through.     When You Start Seeing Your Worth, You'll Find it Harder to Stay Around People Who Don't - Anonymous   Resources For a deeper dive into personal responsibility, check out Episode 22!       Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 43 where we get into how you can begin noticing, and using, your inner guidance system. In this episode we describe some of the ways we can receive "guidance" from a source greater than ourselves, or maybe just from our own higher self.   Key Elements: Identify ways we can see or feel signs and symbols that we may want to pay attention to. Explore the concept of synchronicity and what some believe about it. Discuss ways you can practice being more open to receive guidance.     Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs   Resources https://www.learning-mind.com/signs-from-the-universe/ https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-recognize-signs-from-the-universe https://www.amazon.com/Until-Today-Devotions-Spiritual-Growth/dp/0684859971     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com. Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thanks for Listening! Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don't miss a thing!