Episodes
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Do I Sin to Feel Close to God - Ep. 100
How does our cyclical patterns of porn change the dynamic of our relationship with God? In this episode Vern asks a strange question - At one level - do we sin to feel close to God? We have groups for just pastors who get it - both the struggle they find themselves in, the pressures of the…
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Pastor's Pathways Into Porn - Ep. 99
What are the things that get pastors into trouble with Porn. In my counselling of pastors I have heard 3 (make that 4) things over and over which usually proceed a pastor turning to porn. We have groups for just pastors who get it - both the struggle they find themselves in, the pressures of the...
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Does Porn Have you Running Dirty/ Scared? - Ep. 98
Are you in a position in your ministry where you are running dirty or running scared? Using a few different analogies, Vern discusses the cost of ongoing porn use and the affects it has on our ministries. In order to get access to a whole library of porn recovery resources you need to join Vern's...
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That-L Preach! - Walking Into Sexual Temptation - Ep. 97
There is a saying that says - That-L Preach! Something that immediately you want to share. The following is something from my morning quiet time that I think has real relevance to our recovery journey. In order to get access to a whole library of porn recovery resources you need to join Vern's…
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Stepping into the Light w. Garrett Kell - Ep. 96
Garrett Kell is a pastor who knows what it is to struggle with pornography. In this podcast he speaks about his experience with stepping out of the shadows into the light. Garrett has written a book called "Pure in Heart" and is the current pastor of Del Ray Baptist Church in Alexandria Virginia....
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The Porn Epidemic Numbers Don't Lie - Ep. 95
Back in 2016 the Barna Research group did a study around the use of pornography in society and in the church. 9 years later Barna (working with Pure Desire) did an expanded version of this same study. We now can have an accurate and real time look at what is really going on in the lives of people...
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Porn Recovery Talk for Youth and Young Adult Pastors- Ep. 94
If you are a youth pastor or work with young people in their teens or 20's you know that porn is a big challenge - for both guys and girls. Recently I did a talk in Brazil (and later at our church) that talked about how the enemy uses addictions in our lives to rob from us - including porn. More...
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When a Pastor comes clean - Dave's Big Reveal - Ep. 93
Listen to my friend and pastor Dave talk about his big step to open up to his wife and church about his struggle with porn! If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my free circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you -...
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The Hospital Church with James Reeves - Ep. 92
How do you transition your church from a "shiny" facade to one that truly is a hospital for hurting broken people. James Reeves has done it and shares some of his insights with Vern. James is the author of the TwoFearless Video series - one for men and one for women which deal with healing from...
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Sam Black on How Churches deal with Porn - Ep. 91
Sam Black works with churches at one of my favorite companies - Covenant Eyes. In this free ranging conversation we talk about why he joined Covenant Eyes, his book "The Healing Church" and what sort of churches provide a safe place and a safe process for healing. We are starting new finding...
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Not Even a Hint (when it comes to porn) - Ep. 90
Ephesians 5:3 Says this "but among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity" Some of us have heard this verse as sort on an unattainable standard that makes us feel that we can never live up to God's standards. Today I share my thoughts on this verse that…
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Using Delight and Desire to Fight Porn - Ep. 89
Today Vern explores how 2 words - delight and desire can go a long way in giving us immunity to the outside pull of porn and other distractions! If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about your sexual struggles - you can get ahold of Vern at...
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How to Be a Good and Safe Man this Fathers Day - Ep. 88
This last Sunday Vern spoke on Sunday morning on how men can move from being an *ss to being good and safe men - something women, our churches and our communities desperately need more of. If you are looking for a safe person to talk about your Sexual struggles - Vern gets it - as a Pastor for 30...
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Quit Your Grovelling when it comes to Porn - Ep. 87
Have you ever had God tell you to quit your grovelling? Today Vern explores a bible story where that happens and relates it to our recovery walk. If you are looking for a safe place to talk to regarding your struggles with porn - Vern has walked that struggle and would love to share his hope with...
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The Hardest Sermon You'll Ever Give - Ep. 86
In this episode Vern answers the question - what is the hardest sermon you'll ever give? I truly believe this episode is crucial to both listen to and keep in your constant awareness as a pastor. If it helpful for you - pass it on! If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to…
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Are There Seasons Where Pastors are Susceptible to Porn? - Ep. 85
As I talk and work with pastors I have noticed that there are 3 seasons of vulnearabilitywhere patterns of sexual brokenness seem to emerge in our lives. In this episode I lay out those seasons and take the approach to be fore-warned is to be for-armed! If you as a pastor are looking for a safe...
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Examination and Confession Regarding Porn - Ep. 84
This last Sunday Vern spoke at church regarding the spiritual step of self examiniation and confession. As pastors struggling with our sexual brokenness - it provides a crucial "powerpoint" that is available to us as we see to walk toward a life of healing and wholeness. If you as a pastor are...
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How Sitting in Your Sin Can Help You Overcome Porn - Ep. 83
Most of us seek to deny, hide, run from or rail agains the sin which dogs our steps. In this episode Vern proposes a counter intuitive approach that he believes will actually result in better results - sitting in our sin! If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about…
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The Powerful Porn Recovery Idea of Wide Open Spaces - Ep. 82
The theme of wide open spaces is one that Scriptural writers come back to over and over again. In this episode Vern puts on his bible teaching hat and relates to how this concept relates to our desire to walk away from porn and experience the best life that God has for us. If you as a pastor are...
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Do Churches Really Celebrate Recovery? - Ep. 81
It has become quite common for churches to dip their toes into the stream of recovery groups. In this episode Vern explores the difference between a church offering recovery programs and a church actually becoming a recovery church where people can acknowledge and grow out of their brokenness. If...
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Are Pastors Special - When it comes to Porn? - Ep. 80
Are Pastors Special when it comes to porn? Are there unique reasons why pastors are drawn to porn and are there unique reasons they stay there? In this episode Vern explores that question. If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about your sexual struggles - you can get...
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30 Years a Pastor - Lessons from the Best Years of my Life - Ep. 79
Looking back over 30 years of being a Pastor - from being an associate, to church planting and being a lead pastor, I have come up with a few overall lessons that I have learned. I think some of these lessons may stand you in good stead as you live in the crucible of ministry I love to talk to...
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Simplistic Spiritual Solutions Bound to Fail in Overcoming Porn - Ep. 78
Have you ever been given simplistic spiritual advice that has proven to be ineffectual in your struggle with porn. Perhaps you have given simplistic advice. In this episode Vern talks about the proper way to approach (and give advice) about how to find a life of freedom from Porn. I love to talk…
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Christian Hangups about Sexuality - Ep. 77
One of the biggest challenges in working in the church is that there seems to be such a hesitation to talk about sexuality. In the absense of talk about healthy sexuality it seems that we are left with the idea that sexuality is somehow dirty or the "forbidden fruit". In this episode I interview...
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5 Steps to Stay Healthy as a Pastor (with Mitch Harrison) - Ep. 76
Mitch Harrison is a seasoned pastor and leader who has a great gift in helping tired pastors find a new rhythm for their life. This podcast is all about helping you create a new way of living that will help find a pattern of healthy self care for your life. If you follow some of the suggestions…
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The Best Things about my Porn Recovery Journey - Ep. 75
Gratitude is a huge tool in my recovery. In this episode I share some of the things that I regularly remind myself of - things that my recovery has brought into my life! I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a…
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Driving Out The Enemy of Porn - Ep. 74
In this episode Vern uses tries his hand at some allegorical preaching by sharing the parallels between God's command to drive out the enemies of Canaan and our need to drive out the enemies (such as porn) from our lives. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with...
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Are You Just Half a Pastor? - Ep. 73
Self Care is a huge part of recovery and many Pastors think this is something less than spiritual. In this episode I challenge all those in ministry to actually practice a yearly holiday as part of a self care regimen. (I don't mean a week here or there!) I love to talk to Pastors - especially...
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The Heartbreak of Sexual Deconstruction - Ep. 72
Have you had the experience of having a family member go through a marriage breakup? In this painful episode, Vern discusses the ripples that spread out when someone you love go through a painful breakup and ask "Is there any lessons we can learn?" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who...
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Jesus Never Journalled - Finding Your Own Spiritual Path - Ep. 71
Have you ever been shoehorned into a particular definition of being spiritual that doesn't work for your wiring. In this episode Vern talks about how we need to find our own rhythm of being spiritual - even if it means not journalling! I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking…
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Are You Up to the Task? - Ep. 70
In this recording from a Sunday morning message Vern asks the question - are you up to the task? Using the text of 2 Timothy 1:7 Vern talks about how God's spirit wants to move us from a posture of fear and timidity to one of power, love, and self discipline. I love to talk to Pastors…
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Living My Best Pastoral Life - Ep. 69
Looking back on 30 years of pastoral ministry - there are three elements that led me to experience the best version of my pastoral self - three things, that when I strayed from, caused me to fray around the edges. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their...
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Leveraging your Porn Recovery Story - Ep. 68
What if God wanted us use our story, to leverage it for His glory - even the broken shameful parts. In this episode Vern shares how, rather than hiding our brokenness, God wants to use it in surprising ways. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their...
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Are You Fully Alive? - Ep. 67
How does the idea of becoming fully alive relate to our recovery? From a Sunday morning message, Vern takes us on a journey through Narnia, Wild at Heart and the rock group Evanescense as he explores how the God's promise of "bringing us to life" is at the core of what we all long for. I love to...
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Broken Vessels - Restoring Fallen Pastors - Ep. 66
In this episode Vern interviews pastor and author Mark Denison who shares about his loss of ministry and how God has turned this loss into a kingdom gain. Mark is the author of "Broken Vessels - Restoring Broken Pastors. To contact Mark you can reach him at https://thereisstillhope.org If you…
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The Presence vs. the Power of Porn - Ep. 65
As we struggle with moving away from embedded porn habits, it is important to make a distinction between the presence of porn and the power of porn. Using Scripture Vern provides hope that although we may still experience the presence of sin, it's power has been broken through Jesus. I love to…
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What Does It Mean to be Above Reproach? - Ep. 64
Pastors are frequently told that they need to be above reproach (I Timothy 3) What does this actually mean? How does this relate to having a sexual struggle with something like Porn? In this episode Vern tackles that topic. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with...
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If We Are Promised Freedom - Why Do We Still Struggle? - Ep. 63
How do we make sense of the scriptures that promise us Christian freedom when we still struggle with elements of sin's bondage? This Sunday morning message seeks to bridge that gap by providing hope for freedom - even when we are still not fully experiencing it. I love to talk to Pastors -...
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What Your Porn Relapse Reveals - Ep. 62
It is not uncommon to look back at a recent relapse and ask ourself "what was that about?". In this episode Vern seeks to answer that question by exploring what our relapses reveal. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If…
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Do You Need to make it Right? Ep. 61
This episode refers in part to the 80's movie the Mission. Fair warning the movie does have considerable nudity in it as it portrays the life in the tribes of the South American jungle. On the other hand, the book "All is grace" by Brennan Manning contains no nudity!' I love to talk to Pastors -...
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What Therapists Need to Know About Helping Porn Addiction - Ep. 60
I believe that coaching and therapy work super well together. I am a coach not a therapist. I regularly make use of therapists and some therapists have found my approach is a great addition to what they do as well. Recently I was invited to speak to a counseling center and a group of therapists…
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How Porn Distorts Your Reality - Ep. 59
Gerald May in his great book "Addictions and Grace" says that one of the components of an addiction is the "distortion of reality". In this episode Vern explores how an addiction to porn changes, distorts and warps our view of reality. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking…
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The Stephen Mansfield Interview - Ep. 58
Vern has been using Stephen Mansfield's book - Top Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash as the background for a number of recent episodes. In this episode, Vern is excited to interview Stephen for some further thoughts around the need for this book. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are...
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Route 666 to Ruin - Bitterness - Ep. 57
In this episode Vern explores bitterness - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to…
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Route 666 to Ruin- Forgetting Fun - Ep. 56
In this episode Vern explores "Forgetting Fun" - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach…
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Route 666 to Ruin - Mind the Gap - Ep. 55
Is there a "gap" between your private self and your public persona. This episode based on the book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" talks about how that gap is especially problematic for those of us who struggle with sexual purity and are in ministry. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those...
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A Sex Therapists Take on the Gospel - Ep. 54
This is a part episode taken from a longer conversation on my Podcast - Finding Traction episode 54 where Vern interviews Australian sex therapist Monica Cook. This podcast is simply about the part of the conversation where Monica presents a different take on Jesus and the woman caught in…
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Route 666 to Ruin - No Close Friendships - Ep. 53
In this episode Vern explores the lack of close friendships - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you...
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Route 666 to Ruin - Isolation - Ep. 52
In this episode Vern explores Isolation - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me...
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I'm a Pastor Who Struggles with Porn - Should I Tell on Myself? - Ep. 51
As a pastor what is appropriate to tell about my sexual struggles? In this episode we explore that question - a question that most of us struggle with in our desire to be open with our lives but also the desire to protect ourselves. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to...
About this show
Pastors on Porn is a podcast providing hope, healing and help for those who know the call of God on their lives but also struggle with compulsive sexual behaviors
Hosted by
Vern Tompke
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