PONTIFACTS: Ranking the Popes
by Pontifacts
Welcome to Pontifacts; ranking all the Popes from Peter to Francis! In this light-hearted, only slightly blasphemous podcast, Bry and Fry go through the lives of the Pontiffs, and rate them based on our very valid and not subjective at all categories, to determine which Pope was the popiest Pope that ever Poped.
Episodes
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171. Adrian IV
Pope Adrian is the ONLY pope so far from England , but the mark he left on the church has a much more international reach. In his episode, we discuss the problem of Arnold of Brescia, a masterclass in political leverage, the ego of Frederick Barbarossa, and the dangers of tonsilstones. JOIN US ON...
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Popewatch: Pope Leo's Health
In this brief but breaking Popewatch, Bry discusses Pope Leo's surgery and lung cancer diagnosis. We'll bring more updated information as it comes. Sending Pope Leo many well wishes for a full and speedy recovery! Join us on the (confirmed) Pontifacts TOUR OF ITALY:...
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170. Anastasius IV
For the final time, its me, (Pope) Anastasius! In his episode, we discuss an unexpected peace, a surprising amount of archaeology, a shocking bit of grave-robbing, and what it means to be riggity-scriggity. Join us on the (confirmed) Pontifacts TOUR OF ITALY: https://tinyurl.com/pontifactstour...
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169. Eugene III
With Eugene III, we have reached the first Cistercian Pope, and the Cistercians as the first official religious order! In his episode, we discuss the recurrent problem of Arnold of Brescia, the Second Crusade, meddling in very complicated royal marriages, and a hardcore resting bitchface. Also...
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168. Lucius II
Despite an illustrious ecclesiastical career, Pope Lucius II would not have long as pope to leave much of an impact. In his episode we discuss a plea in Lucca, papal rudeness in Portugal, a fallout with King Roger, and a shocking turn of events in Rome! Join the PONTIFACTS TOUR OF ITALY:...
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Popewatch: SSPX Schism and Mass Excommunications
Wake up babe, there is a new church schism! Except that its the same as an old schism, and definitely full of nonsense. Join us as we explore the history, views and members of the Society of Saint Pius X, and the actions that lead to 1500 people being excommunicated. Sign up for the Pontifacts…
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167. Celestine II
Pope Celestine was going to do one thing in his papacy, and it might just give you some Cadaver Synod flashbacks! In his episode, we discuss his influential mentor, Abelard, and overturned relations with Sicily, England, and France. Book the Pontifacts Tour of Italy:...
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166. Innocent II
Well, we can all admit it: Innocent II was not elected canonically. And yet, he still ends up coming out as the canonical pope! In his episode, we discuss how this happened, his massively advantageous allies, an ecumenical council, and a Sicilian ambush. Book the Pontifacts Tour of Italy:...
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165. Honorius II
Pope Honorius II certainly had an unconventional and illegitimate start to his papacy, but no one was willing to let him resign! In his episode, we discuss the full circle Papal-Imperial moment, some very uppity abbots, puppeting dying men... and a creamy John. Sign up for the Pontifacts Tour of...
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Announcement: Pontifacts Tour of Italy!
PONTIFACTS is 8 years old! We cannot believe it. And if that's not unbelievable enough, we have been given the most AMAZING opportunity to plan a Pontifacts centred tour of Italy! And we would love for you to join us! PONTIFACTS: the Path to Papacy January 30th- February 7th, 2027 Rome, Orvieto,...
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Crossover: The Renaissance Papacy with Tudoriferous!
Bry and Fry were invited by David and Lucy of Tudoriferous to discuss several popes of the Renaissance Papacy, and had such a delightful time! And since this will serve as a preview for an upcoming era that Bry feels very strongly about, hear some of the raving now. In this episode, we all…
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Popewatch: A Year in Leo
Today marks one year since the election of Pope Leo XIV! In this special episode of Popewatch, we review what we have learned about the new pontiff, explore his polices, and touch on his impact on the world stage. Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal:...
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Pope Elect Celestine II
The church is in need of a new pope, and following the major shifts in Pope Callixtus II's papacy, the cardinals are deeply divided on who that next pope should be. Enter Pope Celestine II! Then enter some guards! Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal:...
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164. Callixtus II
Callixtus might have been the ballsiest man to take the papacy since Gregory VII. In his episode, we discuss his impressive family, his audacious forgeries, and the END of the INVESTITURE CONTROVERSY!! Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal:...
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163. Gelasius II
Introducing Pope Gelasius, a monk who fixed the papal bull miniscule! In his episode, we discuss an early attack, evading an attack, and a follow up attack. Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pontifactspodcast Ko-fi:...
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162. Paschal II
Its time to follow another one of the papal greats, and we know how this usually goes, don't we? Introducing Pope Paschal II! In his episode, we discuss shifting antipapacies, the Crusade of the Faint Hearted, the Privilegium, and papal butts. **Disclaimer: Editing this episode proved tricky with...
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161. Urban II
We have reached yet another juggernaut in the High Middle Ages: Urban II! In his episode, we discuss bigamous marriages, incestuous orgies, the First Crusade, and "Deus Vult". Pontifacts is speaking at Intelligent Speech 2026! Get your tickets at https://intelligentspeechonline.com/ Support...
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Crossover: The Carolingian Papacy with Storia D'Italia!
Surprise bonus episode, looking back! As Storia d'Italia approaches the Carolingian Papacy, Marco invited Bry for a retrospective on the shifting landscape of the popes, power, and paradigm in that period. Find Storia d'Italia here (In Italian): https://italiastoria.com/
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160. Victor III
Pope Victor III is undeniably a significant historical figure, but has the unusual honour of being more famous for his pre-papal life! In his episode, we discuss the Golden Age of Montecassino, regifting stolen goods, the ultimate dilly-dallying, and only briefly lament for him that we are not...
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159. Gregory VII
They finally got him! Despite being the hide and seek champion, Hildebrand has finally been cornered into being pope. And what a papacy he will have! In his episode (now officially our longest episode to date), we will discuss the Investiture Controversy, the famous Walk to Canossa, what the hell…
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158. Alexander II
Pope Alexander II might not have been the holiest member of his family, but he still certainly left an impact. In his episode, we discuss the Patarines, the fallout of In Nomine Domini, and the Norman Conquest of England in 1066 Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod...
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157. Nicholas II
Pope Nicholas II became the first pope in history to actually regulate papal elections! In his episode, we discuss a major change in relations with the Normans, the beginnings of the Pataria, and the massively influential In Nomine Domini! Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
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156. Stephen IX
Pope Stephen IX is the last Pope Stephen in history thusfar! In his episode, we discuss his very odd choices, both around family and power. Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pontifactspodcast Ko-fi:...
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155. Victor II
Following behind the juggernaut of Pope Leo IX, Victor II decides to follow his model in many ways. In his episode, we discuss incredible regencies, important councils, and Florence, for the first time!! Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal:...
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Bonus: The Miracles of Leo IX
The life of Pope Leo IX was so full of miracles that we had to dedicate a full episode to cover them all! In this episode, we discuss miraculous animals, markings, visions and smitings, and walk away with the most important prayer: "Please don't scrub my guts." Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
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154. Leo IX
Coming in at a rival for our longest episode to date, we introduce Pope Leo IX, the Battley Pilgrim Pope! In his episode, we discuss the beginning of the High Medieval Papacy, a massive recovery and reformation for the church, the Great Schism of 1054, and so many freakin' miracles. Support...
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153. Damasus II
We're finally permanently out of the shadow of Benedict IX, and its time for Pope Damasus II! Will he live up to his namesake? In his episode, we discuss the actual favoured papal candidates, the flightiest Margrave of Tuscany....and fake facts about the Harlem Globetrotters. Support Pontifacts:...
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Crossover: Judging Benedict with Saga Thing!
In our final retrospective on the "Demon from Hell" Pope, Bry and Fry are delighted to be joined by John from Saga Thing! In this episode, we discuss the Christianization of Iceland, how figures of the Sagas might view the popes, and just how nuts this guy truly was! Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
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152. Benedict IX Part 3
Can you believe it, he's back again!! In this episode, we finally put the 'demon from hell' pope to bed, ask ourselves whether he repented or returned as a donkey-bear, and finally, rate Benedict IX!! Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal:...
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151. Clement II
Are we truly out of the chaos, with a newly chosen pope?! Only this episode will tell. This time, we discuss the outcome of the Council of Sutri, the need for a non Roman pope, and horrifying sexy anime legs. Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal:...
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150. Gregory VI
And we are back to regular programming - and straight back into chaos! In Gregory's episode, we look at what it looks like when the papacy is bought and sold - and what that does to a stellar reputation in the process! Help us raise $40 million to buy the papacy today! Support Pontifacts…
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Bonus: Friday the 13th!
Did you know that part of the origin of Friday the 13th's bad luck begins with a Pope? In a surprise drop, we are sharing our presentation from Intelligent Speech 2025: Deception on the dissolution of the Knights Templar, and how a pope's deception and complicity caused many deaths, a curse, and…
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Bonus: Papal Doomsday Theories Pt.2
In Part 2 of our exploration of Papal Doomsday theories, Bry is joined by Dr Barry Torch to go through all 112 mottos from the 'Prophecies of the Popes of Saint Malachy', who they are meant to be, and our thoughts on how they measure up! Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
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Bonus: Papal Doomsday Theories
In what was meant to be our final episode of the sede Vacante, we explore two doomsday theories about the 'final popes' and the end of the world! Join us for the portrait spaces at St Paul's Outside the Walls, the 'Prophecies of the Popes' of Saint Malachy, and a few prophecies of our own!…
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Habemus Papam: Who is Pope Leo XIV?
HABEMUS PAPAM! Bry, Fry and Gregg discuss the new pope, Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, now Pope Leo XIV. Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pontifactspodcast Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/pontifactspod Amazon Wishlist:...
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Sede Vacante: The Cardinals Pt. 2 (The Pack) with Popeular History
Before the conclave convenes on May 7th, Bry, Fry and Gregg (Popeular History) discuss the Cardinals, and in part 2 we discuss the whole of the cardinal electorate, as well as a few unconventional pope choices, presented by Fry!! CONCLAVE LIVESTREAM:...
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Sede Vacante: The Cardinals Pt. 1 (The Papabili) with Popeular History
Before the conclave convenes on May 7th, Bry, Fry and Gregg (Popeular History) discuss the Cardinals considered most likely to be elected Pope. Join us in Part 2: the Pack, to hear about the whole cardinal electorate, coming very soon! CONCLAVE LIVESTREAM:...
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Sede Vacante: Wildest Conclaves in History
As part of our exploration of the papal transition, Bry and Fry revisit a presentation they gave at the 2019 Sound Education conference on the wildest papal elections in history. In this episode, we discuss the first election by acclamation, the reason we have conclaves, and a pope elected by...
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Sede Vacante: Papal Funerals
Bry and Fry discuss the historic origins and protocols for papal funerals, and explore how Pope Francis's funeral will break with tradition. (Pope Francis's funeral has been set for Saturday, April 26th at 10am in St Peter's Square.)
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Sede Vacante: How a Conclave Works with Popeular History
Bry and Gregg (Popeular History and Cardinal Numbers) discuss the regulations, procedure and protocol surrounding a conclave. Please note this was recorded during Francis's illness, before his death and before the date for the conclave has been set. Outro song credit to Ben Jacobs!
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Sede Vacante: Pope Francis Obituary
Today, Pope Francis died at the age of 88. In this brief obituary, we reflect on the life and papacy of Pope Francis, briefly discuss what is to come in terms of funeral and conclave, and express our appreciation.
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149. Benedict IX Part 2
And he's back! ...or is he? In his episode, we discuss unfortunate PontiFACTS, deal with the rabble rabble, and ask ourselves, how do we get back here? Remember, you can sign up for our patreon now, and help us reach our goal of $40 million dollars to buy the papacy! Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
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148. Sylvester III
So Benedict IX has been forced out of Rome and deposed, and a new pope is needed! In steps Sylvester III. Can he turn things around? In his episode, we discuss the most bigamous diocese, and trying your luck a little too far. Support Pontifacts: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pontifactspod...
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Crossover: The Agony and the Ecstasy with Biopic: A Podcast Story
This week, we were invited by the delightful Sara and Rena from Biopic: A Podcast Story to watch and discuss the 1965 classic, The Agony and the Ecstasy! Join us for a foray into bad actors, bad acting, great discussion, and Bry's favourite time period! Listen to Biopic: A Podcast Story:...
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147. Benedict IX
Are you ready for the "Demon from Hell" Pope, who broke all of the rules, including ours?! In his episode, we discuss so many crimes, exiles, attempted murders, and oddly placed omens...
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146. John XIX
Pope John XIX, the "bilious barnacle" assumes the papacy after his brother's death, but sadly, will bring none of his pizzaz. In his episode, we discuss bribery, greed, renegging on promises and changing ones mind... and indulgences!!!! Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
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145. Benedict VIII
Benedict VIII marks the (second) beginning of the "Tusculan Papacy", but will he take after his Pornocracy predecessors? In his episode, we discuss a potential precedent set, Norman alliances, Saracen invasions, and the Truce of God. Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
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Bonus: Intelligent Speech 2024 PontiVROOM!
In anticipation of Intelligent Speech 2025 happening THIS WEEKEND, we're releasing our 2024 presentation! The 2024 theme was Contingencies, and we discussed the history of the Popemobile, and how it has changed to meet the various needs of different pontiffs. There is still time to join us for...
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144. Sergius IV
You've had Pope John ("Drizzly") Cock, are you now ready for Peter Pigsnout? In his episode, we discuss his daring assassination plot, which did not happen, his kicking off of the Great Schism, which did not happen, and his call for the First Crusade... which also did not happen. Support...
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143. John XVIII
Another John! This time with the most unfortunate nickname we have ever given, and its not even entirely our fault. In his episode, we'll discuss the shuffling of German diocese, being a nice guy, and a shocking reason to bring up the diptychs!! Support Pontifacts: Patreon:...
About this show
Welcome to Pontifacts; ranking all the Popes from Peter to Francis! In this light-hearted, only slightly blasphemous podcast, Bry and Fry go through the lives of the Pontiffs, and rate them based on our very valid and not subjective at all categories, to determine which Pope was the popiest Pope that ever Poped.
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