Poor Mojo's News Show

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 75 (64 kbps .mp3 11:00 5.0 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. jerks in person THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR MONDAY, MARCH TWENTY-SIXTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070323/ap_on_re_us/houdini_exhumation THE RELATIVES OF LATE ESCAPE ARTIST HARRY HOUDINI -- WHO DIED EIGHTY-ONE YEARS AGO -- HAVE ASKED THAT HIS BODY BE EXUMED. THE REASON -- SUSPICION THAT THE GREAT MAGICIAN WAS MURDERED. THE STANDARD STORY IS THAT A FAN TESTING THE MAGICIAN'S FAMED ABDOMINAL MUSCLES SUCKER-PUNCHED HOUDINI AND RUPTURED HIS APPENDIX. HOWEVER, ACCORDING TO WIRE SERVICES HOUDINI'S DEATH ON HALLOWEEN, NINENTEEN TWENTY-SIX -- MAY HAVE BEEN DUE TO POISONING -- PSYCHICS OF THE TIME WANTED HIM DEAD FOR DEBUNKING THEIR BOGUS CLAIMS OF CONTACT WITH THE DEAD. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/009527.html THERE'S A SITE THAT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR DAVE-O JUST LOVES, AND IT'S CALLED OVERHEARD IN NEW YORK. AND HERE'S AN EXAMPLE: Puerto Rican teen #1: That's nothing. I seen a horse give birth on the TV. That baby horse just come outta the big horse butt all slimy and shit. Puerto Rican teen #2: Oh, snap? Puerto Rican teen #1: For real, yo. That's some big stuff comin' outta your butt if you're a horse and shit... http://www.rawstory.com/showoutarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.go.com%2FUS%2Fstory%3Fid%3D2975912%26page%3D1 ON FRIDAY, THE PRESIDENT OF MENU FOODS, MAKERS OF THE DOG AND CAT FOODS WHICH ARE THE APPARENT CAUSE OF PET DEATHS THROUGHOUT NORTH AMERICA SAID HIS COMPANY WOULD MAKE RESTITUTION FOR ANIMALS KILLED BY ITS PRODUCTS. LAST WEEK IT WAS LEARNED THAT A CHEMICAL USED IN RAT POISON -- CALLED aminopterin --WAS FOUND IN SAMPLES OF THE PET FOOD, WHICH HAS BEEN RECALLED. FROM THE ABC NEWS ARTICLE: Investigators,are looking into whether the rat poison came into the United States on an ingredient used in the recalled food. ABC News has learned that Menu Foods bought wheat gluten, the only ingredient changed in its plants, from China. That possibility raises questions about the safety of pet and other food products in the United States. The chemical can cause kidney failure in dogs and cats, said Donald Smith, dean of Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine. HOWEVER, OTHER VETS INTERVIEWED FOR THE ABC NEWS ARTICLE SAID THE CHEMICIAL IS ACTUALLY A STRONG ANTICOAGULANT AND THAT THE LEISIONS THEY'RE SEEING ON ANIMAL'S KIDNEYS DON'T MATCH WHAT RAT POISON DOES. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cysteine#Dietary_sources TURNS OUT WE ALL EAT OTHER PEOPLE. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO EXPLAINS: Cysteine is derived from many sources, but the cheapest is human hair. It is included in many foods as a flavoring agent, a "processing aid for baking", it's in cough syrups, and in cigarettes. We are all cannibals. THE WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE EXPLAINS THAT the cheapest source of material from which food grade L-cysteine may be purified in high yield is by hydrolysis of molecules in human hair. Other sources include feathers and pig bristles. The companies producing cysteine by hydrolysis are located mainly in China. http://porgessivepodcastnetwork.com THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, a proud member of the progressive PODCAST NETWORK! HERE'S ANOTHER SHOW FROM THAT NETWORK: CYBER-PUNK RADIO SAN FRANSISCO! Like an audio comic book from the future. http://www.mental-escher.net http://www.mental-escher.net/cyberpunkradio/podcasts/cpr_076_conditioned-fear.mp3 1:04 - CYBER PUNK RADIO PROMO http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17733321/ THOSE OF YOU WHO LISTEN TO THE NEWS SHOW MAY NOT APPRECIATE THAT OUR PROGRAM IS ONLY ONE SERVICE OF POOR MOJO'S ALMANAC(K), AN ONLINE LITERARY MAGAZINE. OUR EDITOR IN CHIEF IS THE GIANT SQUID. AND WHEN HE'S NOT OFF ADVENTURING OR BEING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OR PLAYING D AND D, HE'S AN ADVICE COLUMNIST. GO CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF IF YOU WANT AT POOR MOJO DOT ORG. ANYWAY, I MENTION ALL THIS BY WAY OF EXPLAINING OUR FASCINATION WITH ALL THINGS GIANT SQUID, LIKE THIS STORY. YOU MAY RECALL THAT FISHERMEN -- TWO MONTHS AGO IN THE ANTARCTIC -- CAUGHT THE LARGEST EVER EXAMPLE OF THE ELUSIVE GIANT SQUID AND -- IN A MURDEROUS RAGE -- STUFFED IT INTO A FREEZER TO PRESERVE IT, ACCORDING TO M-S-N-B-C DOT COM,RATHER THAN GIVE THE POOR DEAD SEA MONSTER A DECENT BURIAL, SCIENTISTS AT New Zealand’s national museum, Te Papa Tongarewa, have taken possession of the beast AND WILL MICROWAVE IT IN A GIANT MICROWAVE OVEN. NOT BECAUSE THE CALIMARI WOULD BE DELICIOUS -- IN FACT, THE TRACTOR-TIRE SIZED RINGS WOULD TASTE LIKE AMMONIA, SCIENTISTS SAY. NO, THEY HAVE TO MICROWAVE IT BECAUSE THE DAMN THING IS SO BIG THAT IF THEY JUST MELT AT ROOM TEMPARATURE THE OUTISDE WOULD ROT BEFORE THEY COULD THAW THE INSIDE. http://atrios.blogspot.com/2007_03_18_atrios_archive.html#117469889118243043 ATRIOS' ES-KAH-TON BLOG PASSED ALONG THIS BEAUTIFUL STORY FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES: DATELINE WASHINGTON — Newly released documents show Attorney General Alberto Gonzales approved plans to fire several U.S. attorneys in a November meeting, contrary to claims he was not closely involved in the dismissals. ON NOVEMBER 27TH, GONZO PERSONALLY SIGNED OFF ON THE PLAN CRAFTED BY HIS NOW-RESIGNED CHIEF OF STAFF TO FIRE THE EIGHT PROSECUTORS. IMPEACH THE ATTORNEY GENERAL NOW. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.mercurynews.com/search/ci_5493698 NETFLIX, THE COMPANY THAT MAILS YOU DVDS, HAS A NOVEL APPROACH TO AWARDING VACATION TIME TO EMPLOYEES. IF YOU GET YOUR SHIT DONE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME IN ALL THE TIME. FROM THE SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS: Employees at the online movie retailer often leave for three, four, even five weeks at a time and never clock in or out. Vacation limits and face-time requirements, says Netflix Chief Executive Reed Hastings, are "a relic of the industrial age." "The worst thing is for a manager to come in and tell me: `Let's give Susie a huge raise because she's always in the office.' What do I care? I want managers to come to me and say: `Let's give a really big raise to Sally because she's getting a lot done' - not because she's chained to her desk." POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO SAYS: UNLIMITED LEAVE SOUNDS A LOT BETTER THAN TWO WEEKS. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/23/us/23vacant.html?ex=1332302400&en=69666b5ca7a12704&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss WHAT HAPPENS TO LOCAL COMMUNITIES WHEN PEOPLE WHO CANNOT MANAGE HOME LOANS ARE GIVEN HOME LOANS? HOW WILL LOCAL GOVERNMENTS COPE WITH THE COMING ONE POINT ONE MILLION -- AT LEAST -- FORECLOSURES COMING DOWN THE PIKE? ACCORDING TO THE NEW YORK TIMES, IN THE CLEVELAND SUBURB OF SHAKER HEIGHTS, officials are installing alarms, fixing broken windows and mowing lawns at vacant houses in hopes of preventing a snowball effect, in which surrounding property values suffer and worried neighbors move away. “It’s a tragedy and it’s just beginning,” Mayor Judith H. Rawson of Shaker Heights SAID OF THE PROBLEMS CAUSED BY a rapid increase in high-interest, subprime loans. Managing the damage to our communities will take years.” THIS IS, SIMPLY PUT, THE RAPE OF THE COMMONS. LENDERS AND BANKERS AND REAL ESTATE AGENTS ARE SUCKING MONEY OUT OF OUR COMMUNITIES -- WHERE DO YOU THINK THE MONEY COMES FROM FOR SHAKER HEIGHTS TO MAINTAIN FORCLOSED HOUSES? AND THE WEALTHY WHO MAKE THE MONEY HIRE TAX LAWERS TO AVOID PAYING BACK IN TO THE COMMONS TO KEEP COMMUNITIES STABLE. BECAUSE THAT'S THE LAST THING THEY WANT. COMMUNITY LEADERS, ON THE OTHER HAND, WILL PAY WHAT'S NEEDED TO STABILZE THE MESS BECAUSE, AS MOJO POINTS OUT, NO ONE WANTS ANOTHER DETROIT. THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE PROMISED A GOVERNMENT FREE OF REGULATION, THINK ABOUT THIS STORY. THOSE JEWS GOT TO MEL GIBSON LAST THURSDAY. NOW, WHEN I TELL YOU THAT THE LATEST PERSON TO SET POOR MEL OFF WAS NAMED "ESTRADA" YOU MIGHT TELL ME THAT THIS NAME DOESN'T SOUND VERY JEWISH. TO WHICH MEL AND I REPLY, "THAT'S JUST WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK. FROM TMZ DOT COM: It happened last night at Cal State University at Northridge in the San Fernando Valley. Gibson was speaking to a film class about his movies, and several members of the Mayan community came to hear the famous director. Alicia Estrada, an Assistant Professor of Central American Studies at CSUN, challenged Gibson, asking him if he had read about the Mayan culture before shooting the controversial film ABOUT MAYANS, THE NAME OF WHICH WE WILL FAIL TO PROMOTE HERE.. Gibson said he had. Estrada persisted, stating that representations in the movie that the Mayans engaged in sacrificial ceremonies and had bloodthirsty tendencies were both wrong and racist. Estrada and others tell TMZ that Gibson exploded in anger, responding, "Lady, F**k off." NOW, THAT'S HOW YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THOSE MAYAN CRYPTO-JEWS. GOOD GOIN', MEL! ALWAYS THE GENTLEMAN. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 10:53 PM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 74 (64 kbps .mp3 5.57 2.9 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. If our life was a movie, it'd be "Krull." THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR FRIDAY, MARCH TWENTY-THIRD, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070322/pl_nm/edwards_dc DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE JOHN EDWARDS WILL CONTINUE IN THE RACE DESPITE THE ANNOUNCEMENT THURSDAY THAT HIS WIFE, ELIZABETH, IS ONCE AGAIN BATTLING CANCER. FROM THE ARTICLE: "The campaign goes on. The campaign goes on strongly," SAID Edwards, a former senator from North Carolina and the 2004 Democratic vice presidential nominee, at a news conference in his hometown. "The bottom line is her cancer is back. We are very optimistic about this because, having been through some struggles together in the past, we know, the key is to keep your head up," he said. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070322/ap_on_hi_te/internet_blocking A FEDERAL JUDGE HAS STRUCK DOWN A 1998 LAW REQUIRING WEB SITE OWNERS PRESENTING MATERIAL WHICH MAY HARM MINORS TO BLOCK ACCESS BY REQUIRING A CREDIT CARD NUMBER. ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE, THE PHLADELPHIA DISTRICT COURT JUDGE said parents can protect their children through software filters and other less restrictive means that do not limit the rights of others to free speech. "Perhaps we do the minors of this country harm if First Amendment protections, which they will -- with age inherit fully,-- are chipped away in the name of their protection," wrote Senior U.S. District Judge Lowell Reed Jr., who presided over a four-week trial last fall. OUR EDITOR, MOJO, SAYS "CHALK ONE UP FOR SANITY AND FREE SPEECH." THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://rawstory.com/news/2007/Iglesias_Why_I_was_fired_0321.html ONE OF THE EIGHT U.S. ATTORNEYS FORCED TO RESIGN BY THE WHITE HOUSE UNDER QUESTIONABLE CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH MAY INVOLVE POLITICS -- David Iglesias' -- PUBLISHED AN OPINION PIECE IN THE NEW YORK TIMES WEDNESDAY. HIS POSITION, SUCCINTLY PUT, IS THAT HE'D LIKE EMBATTLED ATTORNEY GENERAL ALBERTO GONZALES TO STOP LYING AND RESTORE THE FORMER NEW YORK FEDERAL PROSECUTOR'S GOOD NAME. FROM A RAW STORY ARTICLE: Iglesias ends his op-ed expressing gratitude for President Bush's appreciation of his service, which he stated during a White House address TUESDAY, but added that "only a written retraction by the Justice Department setting the record straight regarding my performance would settle the issue for me." AND I DO AGREE THAT really should be the minimum that scumbag Gonzo should do, is reverse his libel of good attorneys. ACCORDING TO A RAW STORY ARTICLE, IGLESIAS WROTE IN HIS NEW YORK TIMES PIECE ABOUT THE phone calls he received from top New Mexico REPUBLICAN lawmakers, Sen. Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Rep. Heather Wilson (R-NM), during which he was inappropriately pressed for information regarding "a politically charged corruption case." "A few weeks after those phone calls, my name was added to a list of United States attorneys who would be asked to resign," wrote Iglesias, "even though I had excellent office evaluations, the biggest political corruption prosecutions in New Mexico history, a record number of overall prosecutions and a 95 percent conviction rate."... http://rawstory.com/news/2007/House_Committee_Well_avoid_Attorneys_showdown_0322.html RAW STORY ALSO REPORED, IN AN EXCLUSIVE THAT Rep. Linda Sánchez -- THE the Chairwoman of the Subcommittee on Commercial and Administrative Law, -- which is leading the House Judiciary Committee's investigation -- OF THE U.S. ATTORNEY FIRINGS -- IS SEEKING TO AVOID A SHOWDOWN WITH THE WHITE HOUSE. PRESIDENT BUSH HAS OFFERED THAT STAFF MEMBERS -- INCLUDING POLITICAL ADVISOR KARL ROVE AND FORMER PRESIDENTIAL ATTORNEY HARRIET MIERS -- MEET CONGRESSMEN OFF THE RECORD, BEHIND CLOSED DOORS TO AVOID WHAT HE CALLS A "SHOW TRAIL." AS OF PRESS TIME, BOTH THE HOUSE AND SENATE HAVE APPROVED FORCING THEM TO TESTIFY BEFORE THE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE BY SUBPOENA. A SPOKESPERSON FOR REPRESENTATIVE SANCHEZ, HOWEVER, IS QUOTED BY RAW STORY AS SAYING: "Rep. Sánchez and the House Judiciary Committee are carefully proceeding in good faith with the Bush administration to produce relevant documents and witnesses on a voluntary basis, and avoiding a more contentious showdown, if it's possible," MY OPINION: HERE'S HOPING THIS IS JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS POLITICIANS SAY, AND NOT A SIGN OF A WEAKENING OF THE DEMOCRATS' RESOLVE. BECAUSE IF THEY BOTCH THIS AND WE DON'T GET OUR SHOW TRAIL, IF WE DON'T GET TO SEE THAT EVIL SHIT ROVE ON OUR TVS SWEATING AND LYING UNDER OATH, THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL BOARD UP THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTTEE HEADQUARTERS AND VOTE BULL MOOSE, OR WHIG, OR FOR SOME OTHER DEAD PARTY, LIKE THE GREENS. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, A PROUD MEMBER OF THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK. LISTEN TO SOMETHING NEW, FRESH AND PROGRESSIVE AT PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK DOT ORG! http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/22/entertainment/e074049D96.DTL&type=entertainment YOU MAY RECALL THAT THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA TRAINED DOGS TO SNIFF OUT RECORDABLE DVDS IN AN EFFORT TO CURB MOVIE PIRACY. THE DOGS CAN'T TELL IF DISCS ARE PIRATED, BUT IF THEY ARE FOUND IN A BOX MARKED DIAPERS OR CAR-PARTS, QUESTIONS ARE RAISED. ACCORDING TO S-F GATE DOT COM THE TWO LABRADORs HAVE DONE SUCH A GOOD JOB WHILE ON LOAN IN MALAYSIA THAT THERE'S A BOUNTY ON THEIR HEADS. THE STRAITS TIMES NEWS SAYS PIRATES HAVE PUT OUT A CONTRACT ON THE CANINES, WHO HAVE BEEN MOVED TO A SAFE HOUSE. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE ON BEHALF OF LONGO, BRETT, JIM, DAVE-O, FRITZ, THE GIANT SQUID AND MOJO, THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 7:31 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 73 (64 kbps .mp3 3:54 2.0 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Until further notice, Poor Mojo's News Show will be produced for Monday, Wednesday and Friday of each week while I complete a side job. Daily service will be restored in early April. Thanks for your patience and patronage. There is no transcript. Posted by Alan at 8:36 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 72 (64 kbps .mp3 8:19 4.0 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. The bamboo shoot under your Lee Press-On nail. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR WEDNESDAY, MARCH TWENTy-FIRST, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://rawstory.com/news/2007/Conyers_Sanchez_to_seek_subpoenas_of_0320.html IT'S STARTING TO SMELL LIKE THE SUMMER OF 1973 AGAIN. THAT'S THE LAST TIME I CAN REMEMBER A PRESIDENT TELLING THE HOUSE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE TO EAT SHIT AND DIE. ON TUESDAY, House Judiciary Chairman John Conyers, Jr. (D-MI) and Subcommittee Chairwoman Linda Sanchez called a meeting to authorize subpoenas for five current and former White House and Justice Department officials this morning, ACCORDING TO RAW STORY. AMONG THE OFFICIALS TO BE CALLED WOULD BE KARL ROVE AND FORMER PRESIDENTIAL COUNSEL HARRIET MIERS. http://rawstory.com/news/2007/New_York_Times_slams_Bushs_nasty_0321.html THE RESPONSE FROM PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH, ACCORDING TO A NEW YORK TIMES EDITORIAL, WAS QUOTE nasty and bumbling UNQUOTE. BUSH OFFERED DEMOCRATIC LEADERS A MEETING, OFF THE RECORD, IN PRIVATE, WITHOUT BEING SWORN IN, BETWEEN ROVE, MIERS AND HOUSE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE MEMBERS. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070320/ap_on_go_pr_wh/fired_prosecutors Bush, in a late-afternoon statement at the White House, said, "We will not go along with a partisan fishing expedition aimed at honorable public servants. ... I have proposed a reasonable way to avoid an impasse." POOR MOJO NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO SAYS: For the record a "fishing expedition" is when you think someone may have done something wrong, and so you poke through all of their files and information looking for a way to bust them. When you *know* someone has committed crimes and demand access to them and their records, it's called "discovery." FROM THE TIMES EDITORIAL: President Bush declared that 'people just need to hear the truth' about the firing of eight United States attorneys. That’s right. Unfortunately, the deal Mr. Bush offered Congress to make White House officials available for 'interviews' did not come close to meeting that standard." THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://feministing.com/archives/006716.html THE MOST EXCELLENT BLOG ON MATTERS FOR WOMEN AND OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, FEMINISTING, REPORTS THAT THE GOVERNOR OF MISSOURI WANTS WOMEN TO DIE OF CERVICAL CANCER. THAT CAN BE THE ONLY EXPLANATION FOR THIS BONE-STUPID IDEA: QUOTING BELLEVILLE DOT COM: Missouri Republican Governor Matt Blunt recently announced he's slashing funding for Planned Parenthood clinics that provide free cervical cancer and other health screenings to poor women in the state. "Patients should not have to go to an abortion clinic to access lifesaving tests," Blunt said in a written statement. Except for the fact that the affected clinics don't even provide abortions. They do, however, provide cervical and breast cancer screenings -- about 1,500 a year -- paid for under the Show Me Healthy Women program. This just drives home the point that, even though anti-choicers love to characterize Planned Parenthood as an abortion provider only, their clinics primarily provide other types of reproductive and women's health care. http://www.rawstory.com/showoutarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.coloradoconfidential.com%2FshowDiary.do%3FdiaryId%3D1646 WE'LL PROBABLY SEE MUCH MORE OF THIS SORT OF GRIEF DRING THE NEXT TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OR SO OF THE OCCUPATION OF IRAQ. YOU SEE, THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE START OF THE OCCUPATION AND SAINT PATRICK'S DAY ARE UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE IN THE CALENDAR. AND IF YOU'RE AN ELDERLY PEACE ACTIVIST AND ARE THINKING OF ENTERING YOUR LOCAL SAINT PADDY'S PARADE TO SPREAD THE WORD OF REISISTANCE, RETHINK. COLORADO SPRINGS POLICE, ACCORDING TO THE COLORADO CONFIDENTIAL BLOG, SPENT THE LAST PART OF THAT TOWN'S PARADE SATURDAY DRAGGING 65 YEAR OLD ELIZABETH FINERON OUT OF HER BOOKMOBILE IN THE PARADE AND DRAGGING HER DOWN THE STREET. ERIC VERLO, A LOCAL BUSINESSMAN, WAS HELD FACE-DOWN ON THE PAVEMENT AND HANDCUFFED AS CHILDREN WHO WERE PART OF HIS GROUP SCREAMED AND CRIED. One cop kneed a woman in the groin as she lay on the ground. Another broke a wooden peace sign that one of the participants had been carrying. One photo shows a cop with his arm around the neck of a retired priest, Frank Cordaro, in an apparent chokehold. In another shot a cop hoists a Taser...."Peace was too controversial for the parade," said Jim White, the interim director of the PPJPC and the retired pastor at Colorado Springs' First Congregational Church. "It was clearly police brutality. The people I talked to just couldn’t believe what happened." http://rawstory.com/news/2007/Kristof_US_should_stop_biting_tongue_0317.html NEW YORK TIMES COLUMNIST Nicholas D. Kristof WROTE IN A COLUMN SUNDAY THAT THE UNITED STATES SHOLD STOP BITING ITS TOUNGE WHEN IT COMES TO ISRAEL. FROM THE COLUMN AS DESCRIBED BY RAW STORY DOT COM: ."Democrats are railing at just about everything President Bush does, with one prominent exception: Bush's crushing embrace of Israel," Kristof writes. And since "[t]here is no serious political debate among either Democrats or Republicans about our policy toward Israelis and Palestinians," Kristof believes, the "silence harms America, Middle East peace prospects and Israel itself." "Within Israel, you hear vitriolic debates in politics and the news media about the use of force and the occupation of Palestinian territories," Kristof notes. "Yet no major American candidate is willing today to be half as critical of hard-line Israeli government policies as, say, Haaretz, the Israeli newspaper. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, A MEMBER OF THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK. MANY ARE THE EXCELLENT OFFERINGS FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO AT PORGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK DOT ORG. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/20/BUGPAOO20U1.DTL Recent home buyers, many seduced by too-low-to-last teaser loan rates, are finding that all good things must end, SAYS POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO. For more than a million, they could end in foreclosure, according to a study released Monday. FROM THE S-F GATE ARTICLE: Americans borrowed $2.2 trillion from 2004 through 2006 in the form of adjustable loans, which start with low monthly payments that reset to higher rates. As those loans reset, 1.11 million people will lose their homes, according the study by First American CoreLogic, a firm that tracks mortgage risk for the financial services industry. The figure is significantly less than a widely published number from the Center for Responsible Lending. http://thinkprogress.org/2007/03/20/katrina-amendment-race/ WHITE REPUBLICAN U-S REPRESENTATIVE Jeb Hensarling, chairman of the conservative Republican Study Committee, introduced an amendment that would require victims of Hurricane Katrina to perform 20 hours/week of approved “work activities” to receive financial aid for housing, ACCORDING TO THINK PROGRESS DOT ORG. AND HERE'S GEORGIA DEMOCRATIC REPRESENTATIVE DAVID SCOTT -- A BLACK MAN -- CALLING BULLSHIT ON HENSARLING FROM THE HOUSE FLOOR: This amendment is cruel, it is cold, it is calculating, and it is pandering to the schizophrenic dichotomy that has plagued this nation since they first brought Africans on these shores from Africa. And that is the issue of race and poverty. Let me tell you something, gentleman. Where were you, where was your amendment when the Twin Towers were hit and the people in New york suffered that catastrophe? There was no cry before we gave them help. “They got to go get a job.” Everybody was there and poured in help, as they should, the American way. Where was your amendment down in Florida when the hurricanes hit down there? Nobody said, “Make ‘em work before we help them.” . ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 9:06 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 71 (64 kbps .mp3 8:41 4.0 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. To his mind, an opportunity to insult a successful ape came from the hand of Providence. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR MONDAY, MARCH NINTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://rawstory.com/news/2007/I_worked_as_covert_officer_for_0316.html GIVING SWORN TESTIMONY at a House of Representatives HEARING FRIDAY MORNING, FORMER UNDERCOVER CIA NON-OFFICIAL COVER OPERATIVE VALARIE Plame said that her "name and identity were carelessly and recklessly abused by senior officials in the White House and State Department." ACCORDING TO RAW STORY DOT COM, SHE TESTIFIED BEFORE THE House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. Opening the hearing, Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA) said, "It's not our job to determine criminal culpability, but it is our job to determine what went wrong and insist on accountability." ALSO DAMAGED WHEN PLAME WAS OUTED WAS THE CIA BRASS-PLATE FRONT COMPANY PLAME HELPED BUILD, BREWSTER JENNINGS, WHICH WAS USED TO KEEP TRACK OF DEVLEOPMENTS IN NUCLEAR ENERGY IN THE MIDDLE EAST. IT IS UNKNOWN HOW MANY PEOPLE WHO WORKED WITH BREWSTER JENNINGS OUTSIDE THE USA WERE PUT IN HARMS WAY WHEN FORMER VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CHIEF OF STAFF I. LEWIS SCOOTER LIBBY, WHITE HOUSE POLITICAL ADVISOR KARL ROVE, COLUMNIST ROBERT NOVAK AND VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER OUTED PLAME AS A CIA UNDERCOVER AGENT TO PUNISH HER HUSBAND, FORMER AMBASSADOR JOSEPH WILSON. WILSON WROTE AN NEW YORK TIMES OPINION PIECE IN 2003 REFUTING THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S CLAIM THAT SADDAM HUSSEIN HAD SOUGHT URANIUM FOR NUCLEAR WEAPONS IN THE AFRICAN COUNTRY OF NIGER. During its coverage of the hearing, Fox News Channel cut down the sound to feature commentary by Novak who labeled Plame's contention that she was a "covert operator" as "absurd." Novak also brought up Plame's political contributions to the Democratic Party, to imply that she was partisan. http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/03/16/white-house-security-chief-reveals-no-probe-of-plame-leak-there/ LATER FRIDAY AT THE SAME HOUSE HEARING, James Knodell, director of the Office of Security at the White House, told a congressional committee today that he was aware of no internal investigation or report into the leak of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame. THIS ACCORDING TO EDITOR AND PUBLISHER, VIA CROOKS AND LIARS. Rep. Waxman recalled that President Bush had promised a full internal probe. Knodell repeated that no probe took place, as far as he knew, and was not happening today. Rep. Waxman at one point said that he regretted not being able to put up a video of the president promising a full probe but added, "I guess we will leave that to The Daily Show." http://www.poormojo.org/pmjadaily/archives/was%20willing%20to%20defer%20to%20Rove%20on%20the%20matter MORE AND DIFFERENT ON THE WHITE-HOUSE BEAT... POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE CONTRIBUTOR JIM POINTS OUT THAT A FAMILIAR NAME APPEARS TO BE AT THE CENTER OF THE SCANDAL IN WHICH EIGHT BUSH-APPOINTED UNITED STATES ATTORNEYS WERE FIRED, APPARENTLY BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T PROSECUTE DEMOCRATIC POLITICIANS FIERCELY ENOUGH. JIM SAYS: THE HEADLINE READS: Justice Dept. was "was willing to defer to Rove on the matter" FIRING THE U-S ATTORNEYS Yeah... it's the Karl Rove you're thinking of. The one who's never been a lawyer, never been to law school and who increasingly looks like he'll be doing more and more courtroom interacting as a defendant. FROM THE LOS ANGELES TIMES: White House political adviser Karl Rove more than two years ago began seeking input from the Department of Justice into how many U.S. attorneys should be fired in the second Bush administration, according to new e-mails released Thursday that show a deeper White House involvement in the firings of federal prosecutors last year. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.10zenmonkeys.com/2007/03/14/michael-crook-settlement-apology/ DO YOU KNOW MICHAEL CROOK? YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS A HOLOCAUST DENIER. YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE COPY-CAT WHO PUT ADS ON CRAIGS LIST POSING AS A FEMALE SEEKING MALE AND THEN POSTED THE REPLIES AND PICTURES ON HIS WEB SITE -- AND HE DIDN'T THINK UP THE TROLL HIMSELF. OR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE GUY WHO WENT ON FOX NEWS TO PROMOTE THE IDEA THAT AMERICANS SHOULD ABANDON THE TROOPS IN THE U-S MILITARY. BASCIALLY, HE'S A GUY WHO WILL DO OR SAY MOST ANY ANNOYING, NASTY THING TO GET THE NEGATIVE ATTENTION IN HIS LIFE THAT REPLACES THE LOVE HE WILL NEVER, EVER RECEIVE. THE TEN ZEN MONKIES BLOG, AND MANY OTHERS AFTER, POSTED A SCREEN SHOT OF CROOK ON FOXS NEWS BEING A DIPSHIT -- AND POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE DID TOO, SEEING THAT THERE'S ALWAYS TIME AND SPACE TO WARN THE WORLD OF A DIPSHIT. CROOK, IN RETALIATION, FILED DIGITAL MILLENIUM COPYRIGHT ACT TAKE-DOWN NOTICES WITH MANY INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDERS DEMANDING THAT THE IMAGE OF HIM ON FOX NEWS BE IMMEDIATELY REMOVED FROM THOSE PAGES. IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW, GETTING ONE OF THESE TAKEDOWN NOTICES IS VERY BAD, AND CAN GET A SITE KICKED OFF ITS HOSTING. WHEN POOR MOJO'S ALMANAC(K) GOT OUR NOTICE, WE COMPLIED IMMEDIATELY, WHILE RESPONDING THAT CROOK HAD NO COPYRIGHT INTEREST IN A PICTURE OF HIM FROM FOX NEWS WHICH, BY THE WAY, SAID IN WRITING IT DIDN'T CARE HOW MANY SITES PUT UP THE SCREEN-SHOT IMAGE OF MR. DIPSHIT. WE ALSO REPLACED THE IMAGE WITH A PICTURE OF A DOGS ASS WEARING SUNGLASSES. AFTER GETTING SUED BY THE ELECTRONIC FREEDOM FOUNDATION FOR ABUSING THE TAKEDOWN PROVISIONS THE DMCA LAW, CROOK CAME TO SEE THAT HIS DIPSHITTEDNESS COULD END UP COSTING HIM MORE THAN HE THOUGHT -- 10 ZEN MONKEYS POINTED OUT THE EFF WON A SIX-FIGURE AWARD FROM DIEBOLD FOR DOING THE VERY SAME THING. HOWEVER, SINCE THIS CROOK DIPSHIT IS BROKE, HE AND EFF CAME TO A SETTLEMENT WHICH INCLUDED CROOK TAKING CLASSES IN COPYRIGHT LAW, PROMISING NOT TO BE A DIPSHIT AND FILE DMCA COPYRIGHT NOTICES FOR THINGS TO WHICH HE DOES NOT HOLD COPYRIGHT, AND TO RECORD A VIDEO IN WHICH HE APOLOGIZES TO THE INTERNETS. GO TO TEN ZEN MONKIES AND CHECK OUT THE VERY UGLY HITLER-MOUSTACHE THIS DIPSHIT GAVE HIMSELF SPECIAL FOR THE VIDEO. EWW. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, A MEMBER OF THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK! CHECK OUT MANY EXCELLENT PROGRESSIVE PODCASTS ON A VARIETY OF SUBJECTS AT PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK DOT ORG. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6441103.stm WHAT IS IT WITH AIRLINES ANYMORE? OR MAYBE WE'RE JUST PAYING BETTER ATTENTION TO THE ANTICS OF A MESSED-UP INDUSTRY. B-C-C NEWS REPORTS THAT ENVIRONMENTALISTS ARE UP IN ARMS OVER British Mediterranean Airways DECISION TO FLY EMPTY AIRPLANES BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN HEATHROW AND CARDIFF SIX DAYS A WEEK SINCE OCTOBER BEFORE ONE TICKET COULD BE SOLD ON THE ROUTE. THE AIRLINE DID IT TO HOLD THE TAKE-OFF AND LANDING SLOTS, PUMPING more than five tonnes of CO2 has been pumped into the atmosphere on each 140-mile journey. http://www.sltrib.com/business/ci_5458523 FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ON A SKY-WEST FLIGHT ON MARCH SEVENTH REFUSED TO PERMIT A MAN TO USE THE BATHROOM ON THE PLANE BECAUSE THERE WAS NO LIGHT WORKING IN IT, FORCING THE SANDY, UTAH MAN TO URINATE IN AN AIR-SICKNESS BAG, ACCORDING TO THE SALT-LAKE-CITY TRIBUNE. AIRLINE OFFICIALS LATER APOLOGIZED AND SAID THEY COULD HAVE HANDLED THINGS BETTER, BUT WERE ONLY FOLLOWING FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTARATION GUIDELINES. THEY GAVE THE PASSENGER SOME TRAVEL VOUCHERS SO HE COULD HAVE MORE OPPORTUNTIES TO PEE ON HIMSELF. http://www.boingboing.net/2007/03/18/ba_straps_corpse_int.html OUR FINAL STORY FILED UNDER "WE NEED A PASSENGER'S BILL OF RIGHTS" DETAILS HOW FIRST-CLASS PASSENGERS ON A BRITISH AIRWAYS FLIGHT FROM DELHI TO LONDON SHARED THE CABIN WITH A DEAD WOMAN. BOING BONG DOT NET LINKED TO THE TIMES ONLINE ARTICLE: The body of a woman in her seventies, who died after the plane left Delhi for Heathrow, was carried by cabin staff from economy to first class, where there was more space. Her body was propped up in a seat, using pillows. The woman’s daughter accompanied the corpse, and spent the rest of the journey wailing in grief. Paul Trinder, who awoke to see the body at the end of his row, last week described the journey as “deeply disturbing”, and complained that the airline dismissed his concerns by telling him to “get over it”. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 8:33 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 70 for Friday, March 16, 2007 Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 70 (64 kbps .mp3 10:41 5.0 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. This is what we do in our room at night with the lights off making those wet slappy noises. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR FRIDAY, MARCH SIXTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6442293.stm http://www.slate.com/id/2161712/ WRITING ABOUT A B-B-C REPORT ON CHILDHOOD OBESITY, POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR FRITZ SAID: So, a series of serious peer-reviewed government-financed studies in the UK have shown that how much a child runs around (either in sport or on their own) has no relationship to their Body Mass Index, or the measure of how fat they are. Here, UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN researchers have found a strong relationship between a child's BMI and how early puberty occurs. But what are we to do? FRITZ GOES ON TO SAY THAT GOVERNMENT BOTH FINDS IT EASY TO TAKE THE FOOD INDUSTRY'S MONEY TO NOT LOOK INTO WHAT MAKES OUR KIDS FAT, AND ALSO EASY TO TAKE MONEY FROM THE SPORTS INDUSTRY TO PROMOTE ACTIVITIES THAT WON'T KEEP KIDS FROM GETTING FAT. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/14/business/14light.html?_r=1&oref=slogin FRITZ ALSO COMMENTED ON THE NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE ABOUT HOW THE UNITED STATES NEEDS TO REPLACE FOUR BILLION INCANDESCENT LIGHTBULBS WITH FLOURESCENT ALTERNATIVES TO SAVE ELECTRICITY. HE WRITES: IT'S AN effort to cut national energy consumption (I kid you not) by a maximum of about 3 percent. If we turned off every incandescent bulb in the country, and simply went without that extra light, we'd only cut energy consumption by 9 percent. It's ultimately a depressing article. But 4 billion light sockets!? There's a very big, generation defining joke there somewhere. How many. Screw in light bulb. Kind of people. Polish people. Alternate ethnic or social groups... the material is here people! PLEASE SEND YOUR ENTRIES FOR THE "HOW MANY BLANKS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE FOUR BILLION INCANSECENT LIGHTBULBS" JOKE-WRITING CONTEST TO ALAN -- THAT'S A-L-A-N -- AT POORMOJO DOT ORG. http://consumerist.com/consumer/riaa/npr-vs-the-riaa-244318.php http://www.boingboing.net/2007/03/13/warner_music_sues_pa.html WHAT MORE COULD THE RECORDING INDUSTRY ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA DO TO MAKE PEOPLE HATE MAINSTREAM RECORDING ARTISTS AND RECORD COMPANIES? LET'S SEE. HAVE THEY SUED SINGLE MOTHERS FOR THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR THIER 12-YEAR-OLD KIDS MISTAKES? CHECK. HAVE THEY SUED THE ESTATES OF DEAD PEOPLE? CHECK. HAVE THEY FORCED COLLEGE KIDS TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL TO PAY THE JUDGMENTS AGAINST THEM? CHECK. AND NOW, THEY'VE GONE AHEAD AND SUED A STROKE VICITIM WHO CAN'T MOVE HALF HIS BODY AND WHO LIVES ON A DISABILITY CHECK AND WHO WASN'T LIVING IN THE STATE WHERE THE ALLEGED FILESHARING TOOK PLACE, ACCORDING TO BOING-BOING. AND NOW, ACCORDING TO CONSUMERIST, THEY'VE GONE AHEAD AND INCREASED THE FEES THEY CHARGE NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO TWENTY-FOLD -- WHEN NPR SPENDS TONS OF TIME AND EFFORT PROMOTING NEW ARTISTS TO ITS AUDIENCE. SO, WHAT COULD THE RIAA DO NEXT TO PROVE THEMSELVES WORTHY OF OUR LOVE? DOUSE AN ORPHANAGE IN KEROSENE AND LIGHT IT AFTER NAILING THE DOORS SHUT? RAPE KITTENS ON LIVE TV? SERIOUSLY, GUYS...YOU ARE WRETCHED ASSHOLES. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.antiwar.com%2Futley%2F%3Farticleid%3D10661 SURE, I. LEWIS SCOOTER LIBBY, CONVICTED LIAR, IS A BAD GUY, BUT HE'S A SAD LITTLE HENCHMAN STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF TRUE CRIMINALS, LIKE FORMER ASSISTANT SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DOULAS FEITH. ANTIWAR.COM HAS AN EXCELLENT RE-CAP OF FEITH'S AWFULNESS, FOCUSING ON HIS PERSONAL AUTHORING of the orders to disband the entire Iraqi army and destroy the civilian government infrastructure. FROM THE ARTICLE: I was a student in Germany after the Second World War. Even after ousting the the Nazis, America did not dismiss every school teacher and village administrator, but that's what the U.S. government did in Iraq. ... Was Feith trying to provoke a Shi'ite-Sunni civil war? What other disasters did Feith have a hand in?... Feith's actions are comprehensible if one connects them to his LOYALTIES TO THE ULTRA-RIGHT-WING ISRAELI Likud PARTY. Polls in Israel show that most Israelis want to trade the West Bank for peace. A recent Gallup Poll shows that most Jewish Americans have strongly opposed the Iraq war, despite the Israel Lobby's enthusiasm for it. Feith was not merely sympathetic to Israeli concerns; he acted on behalf of an extreme faction inside the Israeli government. This all demands an investigation with congressional subpoena power. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/13/opinion/13juhasz.html?_r=1&oref=slogin FROM DAY ONE OF THE OCCUPATION OF IRAQ -- ACTUALLY, FROM 1991 AND THE FIRST IRAQ WAR -- CRITICS HAVE SAID THE WHOLE POINT OF THE EXERCISE WAS STEALING IRAQ'S OIL. AND THE MAINSTREAM POLITICAL ESTABLISHMENT AND MEDIA SAID THOSE CRITICS WERE TINFOIL-HAT WEARING NUTCASES. WELL, EVER HEARD OF PRODUCTION SHARING AGREEMENTS? ANTONIA JUHASZ BREAKS IT DOWN FOR YOU IN HER NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE -- WHOSE OIL IS IT ANYWAY -- WHICH WE FOUND VIA THE RANDI RHODES SHOW. THERE'S A BILL WHICH HAS BEEN APPROVED BY THE IRAQI CABINET AND WHICH NOW GOES TO THE COUNTRY'S PARLIAMENT THAT HANDS CONTROL OF IRAQ'S OIL OVER TO FOUR OIL COMPANIES FOR THIRTY YEARS. FROM THE ARTICLE: Until about 35 years ago, the world’s oil was largely in the hands of seven corporations based in the United States and Europe. Those seven have since merged into four: ExxonMobil, Chevron, Shell and BP. Ever since they lost their exclusive control of the oil to the governments, the companies have been trying to get it back. The Iraq hydrocarbon law would take the majority of Iraq’s oil out of the exclusive hands of the Iraqi government and open it to international oil companies for a generation or more. HERE'S WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY ABOUT IT: If the Iraqi Parliament is forced to make this bill law AND hand control of Iraq's oil over to four private corporations WHILE ITS COUNTRY IS OCCUPIED BY FOREIGN FORCES -- then you really will have, as an American, waged a war of choice on a sovereign nation to steal its treasure. CAN WE NOW STOP ALL THE PRETENSE ABOUT SPREADING DEMOCRACY TO THE ARAB WORLD? http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/iraq/article1505832.ece AND WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS IRAQ TODAY? IT'S A PLACE WHERE RAPE IS APPARENTLY USED AS A WEAPON OF WAR, NOT MUCH SURPRISING ABOUT THAT. BUT EVER HEARD OF A RAPE VICTIM BEING ARRESTED FOR TALKING ABOUT BEING RAPED? THE TIMES OF LONDON STORY SAYS THAT Sabrine Janabi Shocked Iraq last month when she appeared on Al-Jazeera television and accused three policemen of detaining her and then raping her in their garrison. JANABI HAS BEEN ARRESTED BY IRAQ'S GOVERNMENT FOR INCITING VIOLENCE -- SHE'S BLAMED FOR A WAVE OF SECTARIAN KILLINGS IN THE WAKE OF HER ANNOUNCEMENT. Shia officials have accused her of being a proxy for Sunni militants who want to sabotage a security plan for Baghdad, while Sunni politicians have pointed to her story as proof of the sectarian nature of Shia Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki’s Government. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, A MEMBER OF THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK! THERE ARE MANY EXCELLENT, PROGRESSIVE PODCASTS OUT THERE FOR YOU TO DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN TO AT PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK DOT ORG. http://www.bentcorner.com/2007/03/13/did-wizard-take-advantage-of-insider-information/ Did Wizard magazine engage in insider trading? YOU DECIDE AFTER HEARING THIS FROM THE BENT CORNER BLOG: Newsarama’s Vaneta Rogers talks with comic book retailers about Captain America #25. It’s an interesting read. Especially when the topic turns to how Wizard Universe, which is owned by the same company as Wizard Magazine, sold hundreds of issues of Captain America #25 on ebay on Wednesday at prices from $10 to $50 an issue. It’s as though Wizard Universe had some kind of inside information from Marvel Comics that Captain America #25 would include the death of Captain America. That’s something no other comic retailer was privy to. That Captain America was going to be killed. Did anyone over at Wizard Magazine with information concerning what was going to happen in Captain America #25 advise their counterparts at Wizard Universe to stock up on copies so they could quickly post them on eBay? It sure seems like it. It also seems highly unethical. http://www.freakonomics.com/blog/2007/03/15/if-crack-dealers-took-lessons-from-walgreens-they-really-would-be-rich/ DO ALL STORES CHARGE THE SAME AMOUNT FOR GENERIC DRUGS? HELL, NO, ACCORDING TO THE FREAKONMICS BLOG. THEIR INVESTIGATOR began snooping around and found that two chains, Costco and Sam’s Club, sold generics at prices far, far below the other chains. PRICES FOR 90 PROZAC TABLETS RANGED FROM TWELVE DOLLARS AT COSTCO TO $117 AT Walgreens. SO, SHOP AROUND AND ASK QUESTIONS. SACRED PUBLIC-RADIO BORE GARRISON KEILLOR MUST HAVE A BLOOD-CLOT IN HIS BRAIN THAT HAS DAMAGED HIS ABILITY TO HIDE HIS SMALL-MINDED HOMOPHOIA. THAT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION FOR THIS DRIVEL, FROM AN ARTICLE IN SALON, VIA FEMINISTING: The country has come to accept stereotypical gay men -- sardonic fellows with fussy hair who live in over-decorated apartments with a striped sofa and a small weird dog and who worship campy performers and go in for flamboyance now and then themselves. If they want to be accepted as couples and daddies, however, the flamboyance may have to be brought under control. Parents are supposed to stand in back and not wear chartreuse pants and black polka-dot shirts. That's for the kids. It's their show. Oh, thank you, Garrison Keillor, for making it acceptable to hate fucking Garrison Keillor. Now take that hackneyed, precious, droning, self-important radio abortion and shove it sideways up your grey, wrinkled ass! Maybe we'll be able to listen to our NPR stations on Saturday evening again. DAN SAVAGE OF THE SAVAGE LOVE COLUMN POINTS OUT THAT KEILLOR IS A SERIAL ADULTERER, WHO LEFT HIS WIFE FOR HIS LOVER THEN LEFT HIS LOVER FOR HIS SECOND WIFE AND THEN LEFT HER FOR HIS DANISH LANGUAGE TEACHER AND NOW SAYS THAT HIS EYES ARE OPENED EVERY DAY TO THE WONDER OF PARENTING -- IN WHAT MUST BE HIS 60S -- HIS NEWEST BABY GIRL WITH HIS THIRD WIFE, WHICH I'M CERTAIN MAKES HIS CHILDREN FROM HIS FAILED MARRIAGES FEEL LIKE SHIT. GARRISION, SHUT THE FUCK UP! ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE ON BEHALF OF LONGO, BRETT, JIM, DAVE-O, FRITZ, THE GIANT SQUID AND MOJO, THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 8:48 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 69 (64 kbps .mp3 9:49 4.5 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. You didn't say "Mother may I." THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR WEDNESDAY, MARCH FOURTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/13/washington/13attorneys.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin The White House prompted the firing of federal prosecutors after being given the power to do so under a provision of the USA PATRIOT Act, according to THE NEW YORK TIMES. THE ARTICLE STATES PRESIDENT BUSH SPOKE WITH ATTORNEY GENERAL ALBERTO GONZALEZ AS EARLY AS LAST OCTOBER REGARDING U-S ATTORNEYS WHOM THE PRESIDENT FELT WERE NOT AGRESSIVE ENOUGH IN ALLEGED CASES OF VOTE FRAUD BY DEMOCRATS. SENATOR PETE DOMENICHI -- WHO FAMOUSLY QUESTIONED A U-S ATTORNEY PERSONALLY ABOUT AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION -- HAD ALSO PERSONALLY COMPLAINED TO THE PRESIDENT THAT THE DEMOCRATIC CHALLENGER IN HIS DISTRICT WAS NOT BEING HARASSED ENOUGH. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO SAYS: This is surely unethical, but because of the Patriot Act not entirely illegal. But if the firings were retribution for not fixing the 2004 election better . . . well then that's a whole 'nother story. Expect this one to keep growing for awhile. http://www.wbir.com/news/national/story.aspx?storyid=43254&provider=gnews ATTORNEY GENERAL GONZALES ANNOUNCED TUESDAY THAT HE WILL NOT FOLLOW CALLS FROM SENATORS AND PUBLIC INTEREST GROUPS TO RESIGN FOR HIS BEHAVIOR AROUND THE U-S ATTORNEY FIRING SCANDAL, ACCORDING TO WIRE SERVICE REPORTS. GONZALES TOLD REPORTERS THAT QUOTE "MISTAKES WERE MADE" UNQUOTE IN THE FIRING OF THE EIGHT U-S PROSECUTORS. Gonzales has already accepted the resignation of his top aide, Kyle Sampson. IT APPEARS THAT FORMER SUPRIME COURT NOMINEE HARRIET MIERS AND GONZALES STARTED DISCUSSING THE FEDERAL PROSECUTOR FIRINGS THREE YEARS AGO. http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/002746.php T-P-M MUCKRAKER BLOG POSTED U-S SENATOR Chuck Schumer'S LIST OF LIES ATTORNEY GENERAL GONZALES AND OTHER WHITE HOUSE OFFICALS HAVE TOLD THE CONGRESS AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. FROM THE ARTICLE: First, we were told that the seven of the eight U.S. attorneys were fired for performance reasons. It now turns out this was a falsehood, as the glowing performance evaluations attest. Second, we were told by the attorney general that he would, quote, "never, ever make a change for political reasons." It now turns out that this was a falsehood, as all the evidence makes clear that this purge was based purely on politics, to punish prosecutors who were perceived to be too light on Democrats or too tough on Republicans. Third, we were told by the attorney general that this was just an overblown personnel matter. It now turns out that far from being a low-level personnel matter, this was a longstanding plan to exact political vendettas or to make political pay-offs. Fourth, we were told that the White House was not really involved in the plan to fire U.S. attorneys. This, too, turns out to be false. AND, AS OUR EDITOR MOJO POINTS OUT, THERE ARE MORE LIES -- SCHUMER IS JUST GETTING WARMED UP. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.tmz.com/2007/03/12/stallone-charged-with-importing-steroids-down-under/WEB SITE T-M-Z DOT COM POSTED TUESDAY THAT ACTOR Sylvester Stallone was officially charged with illegally importing performance and image enhancing drugs i, according to the Sydney Morning Herald. STALLONE was caught at Sydney Airport with several vials of a steroid known as (human growth hormone), during a random baggage check. Customs officials claim they found a total of 48 vials of the steroid HIDDEN IN HIS LIMO, HOTEL ROOM AND PRIVATE JET. http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/story/85524 SOME DAYS, IT JUST DOESN'T PAY TO BE A METH ADDICT. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE A DIPSHIT. A 19-YEAR-OLD PHOENIX-AREA MAN WAS ARRESTED FOR on accusations he cooked methamphetamine in a toaster, setting fire to his condo, ACCORDING TO THE EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE. Jonathan Zaletel was unable to douse the fire with water when it broke out late Tuesday, and tried to put it out with window cleaner, MARICOPA COUNTY OFFICIALS said Thursday. When that didn’t work, Zaletel then went to a local Wal-Mart store to purchase a fire extinguisher. By the time he got home firefighters and police WERE THERE AND SPRINKLERS HAD PUT OUT THE FIRE. http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/13/financial/f070131D35.DTL VIACOM HAS SUED GOOGLE -- OWNER OF YOU TUBE AND GOOGLE VIDEO -- FOR A BILLION DOLLARS FOR INFRINGING ON ITS COPYRIGHTS, ACCORDING TO S-F GATE DOT COM. COMMENTARY FROM POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO: YouTube does have a ton of MTV clips and VH1 clips on their site, but a billion dollars seems kind of insane. http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/compusa/compusa-wont-honor-rebates-for-items-purchased-at-closing-stores-243792.php\ CONSUMERIST DOT COM HAS REPORTED THAT COMP USA -- THE BIG-BOX ELECTRONICS RETAILER THAT WILL CLOSE HALF OF ITS 250 STORES NATIONWIDE -- REFUSES TO HONOR REBATES ON ITEMS PURCHASED AT THE CLOSING STORES. FROM THE ARTICLE: I made a purchase this past weekend that qualified for a $50 rebate. I attempted to follow the rebate process and was told by their Corporate Rebate folks THAT- they would not honor it. They added, it would be honored if the store was one of the ones remaining open or website. You might want to publicize this to save folks from being "lured" by offers that will not be honored. http://progressivegeek.com POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE IS A MEMBER OF THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK. AND SO IS THE PROGRESSIVE GEEK PODCAST. 1:30 - PROGRESSIVE GEEK THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://sadlyno.com/archives/5344.html BUSH ADMINISTRATION OFFICIALS HAVE COME UP WITH A NEW LINE TO EXPLAIN HOW WE GOT FROM MISSION ACCOMPLISHED TO QUAGMIRE AND CIVIL WAR. THE SADLY, NO! WEB LOG SAYS THEY'RE TRYING TO SAY THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING PEACHY KEEN FOR THE COALITION OF THE WILLING RIGHT UP UNTIL THOSE BAD MANS FROM AL QAEDA BLEW UP THE MOSQUE OF THE GOLDEN DOME. WHICH IS STONE BULLSHIT. FROM THE WASHINGTON POST ARTICLE CITED BY SADLY, NO: Feb. 22, 2006, is the day the Bush administration says everything in Iraq changed.... Before that day, military and administration officials frequently explain, Iraq was moving in the right direction: National elections had been held, and a government was forming. But then the bombing of the golden dome shrine in Samarra derailed that positive momentum and unleashed a wave of brutal sectarian violence. BUT THE TRUTH, AS IT USUALLY IS, IS BURIED ABOUT TEN COLUMN INCHES OR SO FURTHER DOWN IN THE ARTICLE: Experts say the attack did not begin a civil war but rather confirmed the ongoing deterioration and violence in Iraq — conditions the White House and the generals had resisted recognizing. In that sense, the bombing destroyed much more than the shrine: It also demolished the positive view of progress in Iraq, leading military and administration officials to a more pessimistic perspective, and eventually to a new U.S. strategy. […] Asad Abu Khalil, a political scientist at California State University at Stanislaus, said it is characteristic of foreign occupiers to seize upon one episode and point to it as the moment that undercut all their good efforts. “The golden dome merely focused and intensified a conflict that was already taking place,” he said. “If the bombing of the golden dome did not take place, some other bombing would have occurred.” http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/13/us/13strike.html?ex=1331438400&en=8ce995d650ca645c&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss IF YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE LISTENED TO MUSIC ON A-M RADIO, YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE NEWS COVERED STRIKES. YOU KNOW, STRIKES -- WHEN PEOPLE STOP WORKING BECAUSE THEY'RE GETTING SCREWED OVER BY THEIR COMPANY. THEY DO HAPPEN THESE DAYS, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ABOUT THEM. THE NEW YORK TIMES REPORTS THAT nearly 7,000 SHIPYARD WORKERS IN PASCAGOULA, MISSISSIPPI, ARE DEMANDING THAT THEIR PAY INCREASE TO MEET THE INFLATED COST OF EVERYTHING IN THE UN-RECONSTRUCTED POST-HURRICAINE-KATRINA GULF COAST. THE STRIKE IS AGAINST Ingalls shipyard, owned by Northrop Grumman, which builds ships for the Navy. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 7:21 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 68 (64 kbps .mp3 12:06 5.2 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. What do YOU do with a drunken sailor? THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR TUESDAY, MARCH THIRTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/6440365.stm OIL CONTRACTING GIANT HALIBURTON IS LEAVING THE UNITED STATES AND WILL RE-LOCATE TO DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES, ACCORDING TO B-B-C NEWS. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO SAYS: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with so many of the U.S. gov's functions being performed by a foreign company. Not that I was ever comfortable with Halliburton, but at least if they are based on U.S. soil they can be held to U.S. laws. FROM THE ARTICLE: formerly headed by US Vice-President Dick Cheney, The company said it hoped the move to the United Arab Emirates would help it expand its business in the Middle East. Halliburton won valuable contracts in Iraq following the US-led invasion of 2003, some of which were awarded without competitive bidding. http://www.harpers.org/this-week-in-babylon-138281283.html MEANWHILE, HARPERS' MAGAZINE'S THIS WEEK IN BABYLON COLUMN OUTLINES THE ALLEGATIONS MADE AGAINST HALLIBURTON, in which an international consortium led by a Halliburton subsidiary apparently bribed Nigerian officials to win construction contracts worth $5.3 billion. THE ARTICLE STATES there are questions about whether Vice President Dick Cheney, the former head of Halliburton, had knowledge (or chose not to have knowledge) of the illegal payments. THE AFFAIR IS BEING INVESTIGATED IN FOUR COUNTRIES, INCLUDING THE UNITED STATES. http://rawstory.com/news/2007/Cheney_tells_AIPAC_that_Congressional_antiwar_0312.html SPEAKING OF THE VICE PRESIDENT, HE APPEARED TODAY AT THE AMERICAN ISRAEL PUBLIC AFFAIRS COMMITTEE CONFERENCE IN WASHINGTON, DC, ACCORDING TO RAW STORY DOT COM. HE CAME TO ASSURE THE CONSERVATIVE ISRAEL LOBBY -- WHICH HAS ONLY OCCASIONALLY BEEN ACCUSED OF PARTICIPATING IN ESPIONAGE AGAINST THE UNITED STATES -- THAT WE WERE GOING TO INVADE IRAN, NO MATTER WHAT. NOT THAT THIS SETS HIM APART IN THE NATIONS' CAPITOL -- DEMOCRATIC SENATORS HILLARY CLINTON AND BARACK OBAMA HAVE PROMISED ISRAEL EXACTLY THE SAME THING. BUT DICK WASN'T GOING TO LET THE DEMOCRATS OFF EASY, OH NO, AND HE TOOK TO THE PODIUM TO ACCUSE THEM, ESSENTIALLY, OF TREASON FOR EVEN ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT BOTH THE OCCUPATION OF IRAQ AND THE PLANNED INVASION OF IRAN. HIS ARGUMENT WAS TWO-FOLD: ONE, QUOTE: "The most common myth is that Iraq has nothing to do with the global war on terror. Opponents of our military action there have called Iraq a diversion from the real conflict, a distraction from the business of fighting and defeating bin Laden and the al Qaeda network. We hear this over and over again, not as an argument but as an assertion meant to close off argument." OF COURSE, THIS IS THE TRIED-AND TRUE ROVIAN/CHENEY TACTIC OF ACCUSING YOUR RHETORICAL OPPONENT OF DOING THE EXACT BAD THING THAT YOU ARE DOING. ARGUMENT TWO WAS THAT YOU CAN'T SUPPORT THE TROOPS WHILE QUESTIONING THE MISSION. CHENEY INVOKED THE WORDS "SLOW BLEED" BEFORE THE AIPAC CONFERENCE TO DEFAME DEMOCRTAIC LEGISLATORS EFFORTS TO REIGN IN THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION IN IRAQ AND STAVE OFF AN ATTACK ON IRAN. THINK PROGRESS POINTS OUT THAT IT WAS ONLY LAST WEDNESDAY THAT A CONSERVATIVE BLOGGER COINED THE PHRASE "SLOW BLEED" -- PRESUMABLY AFTER HE READ IT OFF THE FAX FROM KARL ROVE'S OFFICE -- AND THAT, WITHIN HOURS, the Republican National Committee issued a release falsely claiming that Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Rep. John Murtha (D-PA) 'call their plan the ’slow-bleed strategy,' http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,,-6476407,00.html OF COURSE, DEMOCRATS ON CAPITOL HILL RESPONDED TO CHENEY'S BASELESS ACCUSATIONS AND SMEARS WITH AN UTTER LACK OF BACKBONE. WITH AN EYE TOWARD FUTURE ELECTIONS AND NOT WANTING TO BE SEEN AS SOFT ON IRAN, CONSERVATIVE RANK-AND-FILE DEMOCRATS TOLD SPEAKER PELOSI IN A CLOSED-DOOR CONFERENCE OVER THE WEEKEND THEY WOULD NOT SUPPORT nA attempt to limit President Bush's authority for taking military action against Iran, ACCORDING TO ASSOCIATED PRESS. AND THOSE BRAVE DEMOCRATS MUST HAVE GOTTEN THEIR FAXES OF CHENEY'S SPEECH FROM KARL ROVES' OFFICE over the weekend, BECAUSE, FROM THE ARTICLE, Conservative Democrats as well as lawmakers concerned about the possible impact on Israel had argued for the change in strategy. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! HERE'S A STORY FOR my long-suffering friends in the high school edutainment business (and who teach Freshman Comp.). WHY IS YOUR TEENAGER SO VILE? ASKS AN ARTICLE FROM NEWS-DASH-MEDICAL DOT NET. Researchers in the U.S. say they may have found a reason for the erratic mood swings of teenagers. researchers from the State University of New York suggest that a hormone produced by the body in response to stress that usually serves to calm adults and younger children, has a paradoxical effect in teenagers and instead increases their anxiety.... THE HORMONE IS CALLED THP. The researchers subjected the mice to a stressful event by suddenly placing them inside a plexiglass container just slightly larger than a mouse's body creating a claustrophobic experience and keeping them there for 45 minutes. My long-suffering friends are now on the search for human-teen-sized plexiglass containers. With air-tight lids. If one more person tells me global warming will turn Michigan into a vacation paradise, I'm gonna kick their fucking ass in. http://www.mlive.com/search/index.ssf?/base/news-0/11733686378520.xml?aanews?NEO&coll=2 And it really does happen! JUST LAST WEEK, SOME OLD COOT WROTE A LONG OP-ED PIECE IN MY LOCAL PAPER ABOUT HOW GLOBAL WARMING WOULD REVIVE MICHIGAN'S MORIBUND STATE ECONOMY. http://rawstory.com/news/2007/CNN_Leaked_report_predicts_global_warming_0312.html WELL, RAW STORY LINKED TO A WIRE SERVICE REPORT ON A LEAKED SCIENTIFIC PAPER by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. HERE'S THE KIND OF VACATION GLOBAL WARMING WILL BRING YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN: By the year 2050, one billion Asians will lack water, the small glaciers of Europe will begin disappearing, large glaciers will change "drastically," and ozone-related deaths will rise 4.5 percent in large cities. In 2050, up to six hundred million people will be hungry due to climate changes. Diseases such as Malaria and Dengue Fever "will run rampant." Scientists predict by the year 2080, three billion Asians will lack water and as many as one hundred million people may be affected by rising sea levels. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,258121,00.html I ONCE ASKED MY LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT IF I COULD VISIT DAILY AND TAKE DOWN THE CRIME REPORTS BECAUSE I WANTED TO POST THEM ON THE INTERNET. THE COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER FOR MY MID-SIZED, FAIRLY WELL-EDUCATED CITY ASKED ME IF I HAD A JOURNALIST'S LICENSE. FOX NEWS REPORTED ON AN INCIDENT IN AFGHANSISTAN LAST WEEK IN WHICH A U-S SOLDIER DECIDED THAT HE WAS REVOKING THE JOURNALIST LICENCES OF TWO ASSOCIATED PRESS REPORTERS WHO HAD JUST FILMED the aftermath of a homicide bombing and shooting, saying publication could have compromised a military investigation and led to false public conclusions. NOW, NO REPSPONIBLE JOURNALIST WOULD EVER JEOPARDIZE A POLICE INVESTIGATION, NOT IF HE DIDN'T WANT HER MANAGING EDITORS FOOT IN HER ASS. BUT GENERALLY SPEAKING, REPORTERS AND EDITORS GET TO MAKE THAT DECISION THEMSELVES. THEY DON'T HAVE POLICEMEN, OR SOLDIERS, deletING photos and video AND TAKING AWAY NOTES, AS ALLEGEDLY HAPPENED MARCH FOURTH IN Barikaw, eastern Afghanistan. Col. Victor Petrenko, chief of staff to the top U.S. commander in eastern Afghanistan, said in a letter FridaY THAT that photographs or video taken by "untrained people" might "capture visual details that are not as they originally were." SILLY ME, I THOUGHT THAT ASSOCIATED PRESS ONLY HIRED TRAINED PEOPLE TO CAPTURE VISUAL DETAILS, WITH PARTICULAR ATTENTION PAID TO HOW THEY ACTUALLY WERE. http://thelastangrymanspodcast.podomatic.com/ POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW IS A MEMBER OF THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK. AND SO IS THE LAST ANGRY MAN'S PODCAST! AVAILABLE AT THE LAST ANGRY MANS PODCAST DOT POD-O-MATIC DOT COM 60 - THE LAST ANGRY MAN PROMO FIND IT A PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK DOT ORG. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandmaster_flash#Grandmaster_Flash_and_The_Furious_Five GRANDMASTER FLASH AND THE FURIOUS FIVE WERE INDUCTED INTO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME MONDAY EVENING, THE FIRST RAP ACT TO RECEIVE THE HONOR. FROM WIKIPEDIA'S ENTRY ON THE GROUP: Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five released the classic "Superrappin'" in 1979. They later signed to Sugar Hill Records and released numerous singles, gaining a gold disc for "Freedom." The classic "The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel," released in 1981 was the best display of Flash's skills (combining elements of Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust", CHIC's "Good Times" and samples from Blondie's Rapture). It also marked the first time that record scratching had been actually recorded on a record. The group's most significant hit was "The Message" (1982), and of the group only MELLE MEL APPEARED ON THE RECORD. It went platinum in less than a month. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070311/pl_nm/usa_votingrights_dc IN SOME PLACES, THE 60S NEVER HAPPENED. A dispute over voting rights reminiscent of the U.S. civil rights era has broken out in PORT CHESTER NEW YORK, where the federal government has thrust itself into the debate and a judge suspended an election, ACCORDING TO REUTERS. At issue is whether Port Chester is violating the Voting Rights Act of 1965, a hallmark of the black struggle for equal rights, by insisting its board of trustees be elected by a villagewide vote. Although they make up 46 percent of Port Chester's population, no Hispanic has been elected to the board governing the town of 28,000 people. ... "We've never had a problem with our elections or anything else. Now all of a sudden we have the federal government coming here, dictating to us they want us to have districts," said Port Chester Mayor Gerald Logan. "There's such greater issues that the federal government could be working on, like what we are doing with our borders," he said. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 12:22 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 67 (64 kbps .mp3 10:49 5.2 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Your Mother is naught but our rutt-toy. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW FOR MONDAY, MARCH ELEVENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT. http://www.latimes.com/news/la-na-gonzales12mar12,0,1237034.story?track=mostviewed-homepage IT'S PROBABLY TIME FOR U-S ATTORNEY GENERAL ALBERTO "TORTURE-ENABLER, HABEUS-KILLER" GONZALES TO GO. HE'S DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT SENATOR ARLEN SPECTOR OF PENNSYLVANIA WOULD HAVE LIKED LIKE TO HAVE SAID AND WHAT Sen. Charles E. Schumer of New York DID SAY ON SUNDAY, ACCORDING TO THE LOS ANGELES TIMES. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/11/opinion/11sun1.html?_r=1&oref=slogin WE ALSO LEARNED SUNDAY THAT THE NEW YORK TIMES HAS AN EDITORIAL CALLING FOR GONZALES TO RESIGN. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070309/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/national_security_letters ON FRIDAY, GONZALES WAS WORKING ON DAMAGE CONTROL AS HE AND FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION DIRECTOR ROBERT MUELLER ADMITTED THAT THEY DID A WHOLE LOTTA DOMESTIC SPYING THEY WEREN'T AUTHORIZED TO DO UNDER THE ALREADY UNBELIEVEABLY GENEROUS TERMS OF THE USA PATRIOT ACT. ACCORDING TO ASSOCIATED PRESS, Gonzales left open the possibility of pursuing criminal charges against FBI agents or lawyers who improperly used the USA Patriot Act in pursuit of suspected terrorists and spies, BUT YOU'LL BE COLD AND DEAD BEFORE THAT HAPPENS. MEULLER BASICALLY SAID IT WAS HIS FAULT FOR NOT INSISTING THAT THERE BE AN AUDIT OF WHAT THE F-B-I WAS DOING WITH THE SO-CALLED NATIONAL SECURITY LETTERS, AND THAT THE REPBULICAN-DOMINATED CONGRESS HAD SPENT SIX YEARS NOT INISISTING THAT HE DO THAT INSISTING. [ACTUALITY-MULLER] THE AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION'S EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, Anthony D. Romero, SAID "The attorney general and the FBI are part of the problem, and they cannot be trusted to be part of the solution," http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/03/07/world/main2544988.shtml All pet dogs will be killed in a district of the southwestern Chinese city of Chongqing as part of an anti-rabies campaign, the government said. Residents of the city's Wanzhou district have until March 15 to hand over their dogs, according to a directive seen Wednesday on the district's official Web site, according to Associate Press. http://www.greatfirewallofchina.org/ AND NOW, POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO ANNOUNCE THAT, ACCORDING TO THE WEB SITE THE GREAT FIREWALL OF CHINA DOT ORG, OUR MAIN URL, POORMOJO DOT ORG, IS OFFICIALLY BANNED IN THE PEOPLES' REPUBLIC! POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR DAVE-O SAYS, it's ironic, considering the bulk of Chinese SPAMbots that have beaten up on our wiki and comments in the past. Do we have any Chinese readers? Can anyone out there confirm that they've successfully accessed PMjA from behind the Rice Curtain, or is the Almanac(k) and all of her bounty truly invisible to the Middle Kingdom? If we are banned, why? Is it because of Alan's potty mouth? I DUNNO, DAVE-O. I'D PUT MY MONEY ON EDITOR MOJO'S POSTS ON THE COMING WAR BETWEEN THE U-S-A AND CHINA, AND THAT EXPOSE ON THE FALUN-GONG PRISIONER ORGAN FARMS. http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/03/07/cow.eats.chickens.reut/index.html ALSO FROM THE ASIA/PACIFIC DESK, IN A RELATED STORY, CNN AND REUTERS REPORT ON A COW THAT EATS CHICKENS. DATELINE: KOLKATA, India: A family -- BLAMING ITS DOGS -- decided to stand guard at night on Monday at the cow shed which also served as a hen coop, after 48 chickens went missing in a month. "Instead of OUR dogs [EATING THE CHICKENS], we watched in horror as the calf, whom we had fondly named Lal, sneak to the coop and grab the little ones with the precision of a jungle cat," Gour Ghosh, said. Local television pictures showed the cow grabbing and eating a chicken in seconds and a vet confirmed the case. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.boingboing.net/2007/03/09/rice_containing_huma.html FROM POORMOJO'S "ICKY POO NASTY" DESK, For the first time, the USDA has granted preliminary approval for large-scale planting of an engineered food crop that contains human genes, ACCORING TO BOING BOING DOT NET. The rice from California-based "pharming" firm Ventria Bioscience was designed to synthesize a human immune protein. The crop will soon be cultivated on 3,000 acres of land in Kansas. http://www.poe-news.com/stories.php?poeurlid=68441 POOR MOJO'S EDITOR MOJO HAD HIMSELF A LITTLE FANTASY AFTER READING THE ARTICLE ON PORTAL OF EVIL NEWS ENTITLED: Iranian general defects to US. MOJO SAYS: HE'LL promise to say whatever Cheney tells him to. "Nukes? Yes, Iran has many nukes." Glances over at Cheney, who nods and holds up four fingers. "Iran has four million nukes. Yes." Cheney facepalms. THE TIMES OF LONDON ONLINE ARTICLE HAS, APPARENTLY, NOT BEEN PICKED UP BY THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA IN THE U-S-A. ORIGINALLY, IRAN HAD ALERTED INTERPOL THAT GENERAL Ali Resa Asgari HAD GONE MISSING AND WAS PRESUMED KIDNAPPED DURING A LAYOVER IN TURKEY. BUT ASGARI SEEMS TO HAVE MANAGED TO GET AWAY, MAKING HIM THE FIRST IRANIAN TO DEFECT TO THE WEST IN DECADES, WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY AND DETAILED FIGURES ON HEZBOLLAH'S TROOP AND WEAPONS' STRENGTH. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/6434789.stm THE STORY HAS BEEN DECLARED "A GREAT GONZO READ" BY POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO, AND IT CERTAINLY IS COMPELLING TO LEARN THAT A THOUSAND RUSSIANS HAVE KILLED THEMSELVES DRINKING TAINTED MOONSHINE, ACCORDING TO B-B-C NEWS' FROM OUR OWN CORRESPONDENT. INTERNET JESUS AND SPIRITS SPECIALIST WARREN ELLIS FORWARDS THE FOLLOWING EXCERPT: They called it the yellow death. It started in the summer when dozens of people turned up in casualty, a vile shade of yellow. The dozens turned to hundreds, then a thousand. The better cases recovered, but will die long before their time. The worst cases? Natasha is not yet 30, she's got a seven-year-old boy called Maxim and she has less than a year to live. Her whole body has gone yellow - an instantly recognisable feature of toxic hepatitis. Something has destroyed her liver and now all the natural toxins in the body are stacking up. Her own body is poisoning her and there is nothing medicine - or at least nothing state medicine in Russia - can do about it. Natasha and everyone else in the hospital corridors had bought samogon, moonshine, as usual - but something had been added to it. http://progressivepodcastnetwork POOR MOJO'S NEWSSHOW IS A MEMBER OF THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK! 30 - PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK PROMO THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/10/national/w133056S85.DTL WE AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE WERE CONCERNED THAT PRESIDENT BUSH'S PLANS FOR MORE TROOPS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN WERE GOING TO COST MORE THAN EIGHT-HUNDRED-THOUSAND DOLLARS PER TROOP -- THAT WAS WHEN WE BELIEVED WHAT S-F GATE'S WIRE SERVICE TOLD US, THAT 4,000 SOLDIERS GOZINTA $3.2 BILLION DOLLARS 800,000 TIMES. BUT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR FRITZ GOT US THE REVISED NUMBER AND SO, GOOD NEWS! AT 8,200 ADDITIONAL TROOPS, WE'RE TALKING A LOW-LOW, BARGAIN-BASMENT PRICE PER TROOP OF $380,000, ACCORDING TO WIRES QUOTED ON HUFFINGTON POST. BY CUTTING $3.2 BILLION IN LOW-PRIORITY MILITARY SPENDING -- LIKE, I DUNNO, BUYING PROSTHETIC LIMBS FOR THE THE IRAQ OCCUPATION FORCES WOUNDED? AND VISITS WITH PSYCHIATRISTS, PERHAPS? -- PRESIDENT BUSH SAID THERE'S NO NEED TO INCREASE the overall $93.4 billion in additional defense money he's already requested to finance this year's war operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6434773.stm WHEN OUR OWN MOJO READ THE HEADLINE, HE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. Is this an early Apri Fool's joke? HE ASKED? They seriously named a MILITARY satellite Skynet? [ACTUALITY - TERMINATOR 2] YES, MOJO, IT'S TRUE, ACCORDING TO B-B-C NEWS, THE UNITED KINGDOM AWAITS THE LAUNCH OF SKY-NET WITHOUT A SHRED OF SELF-AWARE IRONY, AND APPARENTLY NO AWARENESS OF THE TERMINATOR MOVIE SERIES, EITHER. FROM THE ARTICLE : The British military is set to take one of its most significant steps into the digital age with the launch of the first Skynet 5 satellite. The spacecraft will deliver secure, high-bandwidth communications for UK and "friendly" forces across the globe. JOHN CONNOR... BUDDY... YOU'RE FUCKED. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 12:13 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 66 (64 kbps .mp3 9:46 4.5 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. We have the heart of a child. In a jar, in our closet. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR FRIDAY, MARCH NINTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . IT'S POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO'S BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOJO! HERE'S MOJO'S BIRTHDAY EPISTLE TO THE WORLD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_8 I share this birthday with such illuminaries as "actor" Freddie Prinz, jr, and martial artist and general late-night-cable asskicker Cynthia Rothrock, and Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, jr. Looking at that list how can you possibly deny the truth and power of horoscopes, eh? or, even better, can you imagine a time-travelling superteam made up of those three and me? We'd be just like the A-Team. Freddie Prinz would be the FaceMan, charming the ladies and going undercover. Cynthia "Blonde Fury' Rothrock would be the bruiser and muscle and weapons expert. Holmes would naturally be the thinker and strategist. And that would leave me the "Howling Mad" role, which I would firmly embrace. I'd be the wild card, the pilot, the unpredictable one who would tease Cynthia Rothrock and lure her onto the plane, even though she was afraid of flying. It's also the anniversary of the Russian revolution. And it's International Woman's Day. So I'll be celebrating my birthday today with over half the world's population, which all told isn't such a bad thing. AND NOW A WORD FROM GAMERS LEDGE DAILY PODCAST! 60 - Gamers Ledge THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.montereyherald.com/mld/montereyherald/news/breaking_news/16853136.htm ONE STEP CLOSER TO A SHADOWRUN FUTURE... So we're skipping the whole army idea entirely here and just going straight to hiring mercenaries to fight for us. NAIROBI, Kenya - The State Department has hired a major military contractor to help equip and provide logistical support to international peacekeepers in Somalia, giving the United States a significant role in the critical mission without assigning combat forces, according to wire services. DynCorp International, which also has U.S. contracts in Bosnia, Afghanistan and Iraq, will be paid $10 million to help PROVIDE the first peacekeeping mission in Somalia in more than 10 years. http://www.tampontification.com/donate.php POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE CONTRIBUTOR LONGO APPEALS TO YOUR SENSE OF CHARITY, AND I AGREE, SHIFT YOUR DEAD BUTT AND DONATE SOME TAMPONS, PEOPLE! HEAD TO TAMPONTIFICATION DOT COM SLASH DONATE DOT PHP, OR SIMPLY HIT THE LINK AT THE NEWSWIRE IN THE POST FOR TODAY'S PODCAST. Seventh Generation, a green paper products and cleaning products company, will donate a box of sanitary products to a women's shelter in your chosen state - just for clicking the link. http://www.rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.inc.com%2Fcriticalnews%2Farticles%2F200703%2Fwork_Printer_Friendly.html THE BIGGEST PROBLEM TWENTY-SOMETHINGS TODAY HAVE WITH MOM AND DAD IS THAT THEY'RE NOT DROPPING DEAD FAST ENOUGH. Employee dissatisfaction is at an all-time high, according to a national survey released Monday by the Conference Board, a New York-based private research group. In a survey of 5,000 U.S. households, more than half of all respondents said they dislike their current jobs, compared to less than 40 percent in a similar survey conducted 20 years ago. These days, the lowest levels of job satisfaction are among younger workers, the survey found. Only 39 percent of respondents aged 25 and younger said they liked their current jobs -- the lowest level in the survey's 20-year history -- compared to 45 percent for workers between 45 and 54. A FREQUENTLY CITED REASON FOR DISSATISFACTION -- LACK OF OPPORTUNITY FOR PROMOTION. http://refinish69.podomatic.com/ http://progressivepodcastnetwork.org AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM A PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK MEMBER, DOING MY PART FOR THE LEFT! 60 - DOING MY PART FOR THE LEFT THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0703/S00146.htm AIR AMERICA'S RANDI RHODES POINTED US THIS AFTERNOON AT A MOST REMARKABLE STORY, BEST TOLD AT SCOOP DOT CO DOT N-Z... IT'S ABOUT THESE U-S ATTORNEYS. SEEMS THAT A NUMBER OF THESE PUBLIC SERVANTS -- USUALLY ALLOWED TO OPERATE INDEPENDENTLY FROM THE WHITE HOUSE -- HAVE GOTTEN FORCED OUT OF WORK RECENTLY UNDER PROVISION OF THE PATRIOT ACT -- AND REPLACED WITH CRONIES. GREG PALAST -- WHO IS SUCH A GOOD POLITICAL INVESTIGATIVE REPORT THAT HE HAS TO WORK FOR THE B-B-C, NO ONE HERE WILL TOUCH HIM -- LEARNED THAT ONE Honest US Attorney WAS fired to make way for Karl Rove's allegedly criminal friend. WHY A CRIMINAL? Timothy Griffin, Karl Rove's assistant, the President's pick as US Attorney for the Eastern District of Arkansas, according to BBC Television, was the hidden hand behind a scheme to wipe out the voting rights of 70,000 citizens prior to the 2004 election. Key voters on Griffin's hit list: Black soldiers and homeless men and women. Nice guy, eh? Naughty or nice, however, is not the issue. Targeting voters where race is a factor is a felony crime under the Voting Rights Act of 1965. In October 2004, GREG PALLAST'S investigations team at BBC Newsnight received a series of astonishing emails from Mr. Griffin, then Research Director for the Republican National Committee. He didn't mean to send them to THE INVETIGATIVE REPORER. They were highly confidential memos meant only for RNC honchos. However, Griffin made a wee mistake. Instead of sending the emails -- potential evidence of a crime -- to email addresses ending with the domain name "@GeorgeWBush.com" he sent them to "@GeorgeWBush.ORG." A website run by prankster John Wooden who owns "GeorgeWBush.org." When Wooden got the treasure trove of Rove-ian ravings, he sent them to GREG PALAST. BUSTED! http://thinkprogress.org/2007/03/08/administration-caves-on-us-attorney-law/ IN A LATE BREAKING DEVELOPMENT, THINK PROGRESS DOT ORG SAYS Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and other senators met with Attorney General Alberto Gonzales this afternoon. SCHUMER SAID: “While we didn’t get any better explanation for these unprecedented firings, two important developments came from this meeting. First, the Attorney General told us the Administration would not oppose our legislation requiring Senate confirmation for all U.S. Attorneys. AND EACH OF THE FIVE FIRED U-S ATTORNEYS, ACCORDING TO THE STORY, WILL BE ABLE TO SPEAK UNDER OATH AT CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS SOON. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE ON BEHALF OF LONGO, BRETT, JIM, DAVE-O, FRITZ, THE GIANT SQUID AND MOJO, THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 5:45 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 65 (64 kbps .mp3 11:13 5.2 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Rhinestone cowboy? RHINESTONE COWBOY? IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR THURSDAY, MARCH EIGHTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/07/entertainment/e055217S16.DTL&type=entertainment YOU CAN'T UNSEE SOMETHING, WHICH IS WHY POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO REQUESTS THAT ASSOCIATED PRESS LEARN TO USE SPOILER WARNINGS. IN FACT, SKIP AHEAD 30 SECONDS IF YOU DON'T WANT US TO SPOIL THE BIG MARVEL COMICS NEWS. WE'LL WAIT.... DUM DE DUM...OKAY, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS, YOU'D BETTER SKIP AHEAD.... RIGHT, HERE WE GO. Captain America has undertaken his last mission — at least for now. The venerable superhero is killed in the issue of his namesake comic that hit stands Wednesday, the NEW YORK Daily News reported. On the new edition's pages, a sniper shoots down the shield-wielding hero as he leaves a courthouse, according to the newspaper. It ends a long run for the stars-and-stripes-wearing character, created in 1941 to incarnate patriotic feeling during World War II. Over the years, an estimated 210 million copies of "Captain America" comic books, published by New York-based Marvel Entertainment Inc., have been sold in a total of 75 countries. OKAY, SPOILER OVER!! http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/826167.html A TWO-THOUSAND YEAR OLD SEED HAS GERMINATED AND HAS NOW BLOOMED, ACCORDING TO AN ARTICLE IN HAARETZ. DR. Elaine Soloway HAS BEEN GROWING Methuselah FOR TWO YEARS, AND MAY SOON TRUST THAT IT IS HEALTHY ENOUGH TO REMOVE FROM THE NURSERY, WHERE IT HAS BEEN SHELTERED FROM MODERN PLANT VIRUSES. THE SEED, FOUND IN Kibbutz Ketura in the Arava, ISREAL, WAS CREATED AT ABOUT THE TIME OF THE Great Revolt of the Jews against the Romans, FROM THE YEARS 66-73 OF THE CHRISTIAN ERA. http://www.dailypressandargus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070307/NEWS01/703070306 YESTERDAY, I CALLED VICKI FYKE, PRESDIENT OF THE Livingston COUNTY, MICHIGAN Organization for Values in Education A DICKHEAD, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN -- SHE'S A DICKHEAD. SHE ASKED THE LOCAL U.S. ATTORNEY TO CHECK INTO THE FILTH TEENS WERE BEING PRESENTED WITH IN HIGH-SCHOOL LITERATURE CLASSES -- TRASH LIKE Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye," Richard Wright's "Black Boy," Erin Gruwell's "The Freedom Writers Diary," Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five," and Augusten Burrough's "Running With Scissors." THANK GOD, NOT EVERYONE IN MICHIGAN IS A RIGHT-WING LUNATIC -- THE DAILY PRESS AND ARGUS OF LIVINGSTON COUNTY REPORTED WEDNESDAY THAT Livingston County Prosecutor David Morse found that assigning the books does not violate any criminal laws because the Board of Education had approved them, and taken as a whole the books are not harmful to minors as defined by the law. NOW, WHAT YOU GOT RIGHT THERE IS THE LEGAL DEFINITION OF OBSCENITY. THE BOOKS AREN'T OBSCENE, AND ANYONE WHO ISN'T A DICKHEAD KNOWS THAT. BUT NOT OUR VICKI FYKE, WHO IS WAITING TO HEAR FROM THE F-B-I AND WHO ALSO SAYS SHE'S GOT A SECRET PLAN COOKED UP TO GET THEM BOOKS OUT OF THE HANDS OF IMPRESSIONABLE TEENS AND INTO A BONFIRE, WHERE THEY BELONG. OKAY, I'M PARAPRHASING. LOOK, The books dickhead over here wants to ban helped shape and save my life, and I'll stand in front of the steps of the Livingston County Courthouse and give copies of these books out to every teenager I see while chanting "Vicki Fyke is a god-damned dickhead!" through a bullhorn, see if I don't. God bless Michigan as she sinks into the lakes under the weight of poverty and ignorance. http://porgressivepodcastnetwork.org AND NOW A WORD FROM THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK: 30 - PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2007/03/jeff-gannon-redux.html What do Ann Colter, Hannity AND COLMES AND BILL O'REILLY HAVE TO DO WITH ELEVEN-INCH UN-CUT MONSTER COCK? THANKS TO THE JOE. MY. GOD BLOG FOR PUTTING TOGETHER 2 PLUS 2 AND HAVING IT ADD UP TO ELEVEN, UNCUT, MONSTEROUS INCHES OF GAY PORN STAR MARINE Cpl. Matt Sanchez, WHO JUST ENDED A WHIRL-WIND TOUR OF ALL THE BEST RIGHT-WING T-V TALK-SHOWS AND THE CPAC conference where Ann Coulter made her "faggot" remark. CHECK OUT THE JOE-MY-GOD BLOG FOR THE MOST EXCELLENT PHOTO OF ANN TOUCHING A HOMOSEXUAL! WHY WAS THE THIRTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY JUNIOR GETTING ALL THAT FACE-TIME ON THE SMALL SCREEN WITH HIS CLOTHES ON? JOE SAYS SANCHEZ received praise FROM THE RIGHT-WINGERS for coming forward and complaining about his treatment at the hands of Columbia's "radical anti-military students" who called him names and mocked his military service. HOWEVER, COLUMBIA'S RADICALS HURLED NO EPITHETS FOR SANCHEZ HAVING STARRED IN Jawbreaker, Donkey Dick, and Glory Holes Of Fame 3. CHECK OUT THE JOE-MY-GOD BLOG FOR MORE DEVELOPMENTS. WONDER WHAT JEFF GANNON'LL WRITE ABOUT IT ALL? http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZDk4ZWM0N2RiZWZkZjE4NzFmMWEyYzM4ODYzMTQ3Mzc= RANDI RHODES ON AIR AMERICA POINTED OUT THAT THE NATIONAL REVIEW WAITED ALL OF TWO AND A HALF HOURS YESTERDAY AFTER THE VERDICT BEFORE DEMANDING THAT I. LEWIS SCOOTER LIBBY BE PARDONED BY PRESIDENT BUSH FROM HIS CONVICTION FOR BEING A LYING DOUCHEBAG. THE REVIEW EDITORS SAID: The trial that concluded in a guilty verdict on four of five counts conclusively proved only one thing: A White House aide became the target of a politicized prosecution set in motion by bureaucratic infighting and political cowardice. BOO HOO HOO, CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER, COLLABORATORS. http://www.boingboing.net/2007/03/06/ai_busted_for_practi.html TWO STORIES FROM THE ROBOT BEAT: BOING BOING DOT NET REPORTED THAT A web-based "expert system" that helped users prepare bankruptcy filings for a fee made too many decisions to be considered a clerical tool, an appeals court said last week, ruling that the software was effectively practicing law without a license. OUR EDITOR, MOJO, SAYS HE Really wantS to see a construct like this take the Bar exam. ITEM TWO: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6425927.stm An ethical code to prevent humans abusing robots, and vice versa, is being drawn up by South Korea. The Robot Ethics Charter will cover standards for users and manufacturers and will be released later in 2007, ACCORDING TO B-B-C NEWS. It is being put together by a five member team of experts that includes futurists and a science fiction writer. THAT WRITER, OF COURSE, ISN'T ISSAC ASIMOV, AND NOBODY WANTS TO MENTION THE THREE LAWS OF ROBOTICS, BECAUSE WE'RE ALL TRYING DESPERATELY TO FORGET THAT SHITTY WILL SMITH MOVIE. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.macworld.com%2Fnews%2F2007%2F03%2F06%2Ffranceban%2Findex.php I LIVED IN FRANCE, ONCE. NOTE THE PAST TENSE. NOT THAT THINGS ARE PERFECT ANYWHERE, AND I'D PROBABLY MOVE BACK, BUT AT THE COST OF MY RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH. INTERNET CRY-BABIES IN THE USA WHINE WHEN THEY ARE QUOTE UNQUOTE CENSORED ON MESSAGE BOARDS, BUT AT LEAST THEY CAN POINT THIER CAM-CORDER AT DAMN NEAR ANYTHING THEY LIKE IN THE STREET, IF IT DOESN'T INVOLVE NATIONAL SECURITY. TO DISCOURAGE YOUNG SHITHEADS FROM VIDEOING EACH OTHER BASHING PASSING STRANGERS FOR YUCKS, THE FRENCH CONSTITUTIONAL COUNCIL HAS APPROVED A LAW GOING TO THE ASSEMBLEE NATIONAL TO BAN ANYONE WHO IS NOT AN ACCREDITED JOURNALIST FROM TAKING PICTURES OF ACTS OF VIOLENCE. THE WIRE SERVICE STORY PICKED UP BY MACWORLD, VIA RAW STORY, SAID The law could lead to the imprisonment of eyewitnesses who film acts of police violence, or operators of Web sites publishing the images, one French civil liberties group warned on Tuesday. The council chose an unfortunate anniversary to publish its decision approving the law, which came exactly 16 years after Los Angeles police officers beating Rodney King were filmed by amateur videographer George Holliday on the night of March 3, 1991. TRUST ME, THERE REALLY IS A DIFFERENCE HOW WE DO THINGS IN THE USA -- WORK TO PRESERVE IT. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/07/books/07baudrillard.html?_r=1&oref=slogin ACCORDING TO THE NEW YORK TIMES, The French critic and provocateur Jean Baudrillard, whose theories about consumer culture and the manufactured nature of reality were intensely discussed both in rarefied philosophical circles and in blockbuster movies like “The Matrix,” died yesterday in Paris. He was 77. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR FRITZ - KNOWN FOR HIS REAL PURTY MOUTH -- ISSUED THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT REGARDING THE EXISTENTIAL CONDITION OF M. Baudrillard: The tangle of circumstances, texts, amino acids and body odors that have commonly come to be known as "Jean Baudrillard" have taken on a slightly less accessible tonality sometime in the recent past. Most of what "he" is still persists. But as is the progress with all great thinking, this tangle has reached a point where we can no longer directly interrorgate it. Historically, this condition for a tangle like "Baudrillard" has been termed "death." I'm willing to say that, from a laymen's point of view: "Baudrillard is dead." But I only say such an imprecise thing out of deference to my current cultural millieu. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 4:25 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 64 (64 kbps .mp3 11:04 5.1 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. The Penalty Box of the literary world. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR WEDNESDAY, MARCH SEVENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6424319.stm http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070306/ap_on_go_pr_wh/cheney_blood_clot IT'S BEEN A BAD-NEWS KINDA DAY FOR VICE PRESIDENT RICHARD CHENEY. FIRST, DOCTORS DISCLOSED THAT HE HAS A POTENTIALLY LIFE-THREATENING BLOOD CLOT IN HIS LEG, ACCORDING TO WIRE SERVICE REPORTS. WHICH, GIVEN HOW HONEST AND FORTHRIGHT THIS ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN, PROBABLY MEANS HE'S ON A RESPIRATOR AND RECEIVING LAST RITES. SECOND, HIS FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF WAS CONFIRMED BY A JURY OF HIS PEERS TO BE A LYING SCUMBAG TODAY, UP TO HIS NECK IN THE PLOT TO OUT A C-I-A UNDERCOVER NON-OFFICIAL COVER OPERATIVE, WHICH MAY I REMIND YOU IS TREASONOUS. WELL, TO HEAR B-B-C NEWS TELL IT, THE CHARGES WERE obstruction of justice and perjury. THEN AGAIN, MAYBE IT ISN'T SUCH A BAD DAY FOR CHENEY, AS SPECIAL PROSECUTOR PATRICK FITZGERALD HAS DECIDED THAT NO FURTHER CHARGES WILL BE FILED, AS CHENEY AND ROVE WILL JUST KEEP LYING, AND THEY CLEARLY WOULD THROW THEIR CHILDREN TO THE WOLVES IF NECESSARY. OOPS, SORRY, THAT ROVE FELLER is what they call A CONFIRMED BATCHELOR. ANYWAY, SENATE MAJORITY LEADER HARRY REID, DEMOCRAT OF NEVADA, HAS DARED BUSH TO PARDON SCOOTER, AND AS SOON AS CHENEY TELLS HIM TO, I'M SURE GEORGE WILL. http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/002629.php OOPSIE! TURNS OUT THAT THOSE WEAPONS THAT ARE KILLING OUR TROOPS PARTICIPATING IN THE OCCUPATION OF IRAQ THAT THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION INISISTED CAME FROM IRAN ARE IN FACT COMING FROM IRAQ! ACCORDING TO T-P-M MUCKRAKER, QUOTING THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, troops "uncovered a makeshift factory used to construct advanced roadside bombs that the U.S. had thought were made only in Iran." DURING A RAID IN SOUTHERN IRAQ. AMONG THE ITEMS FOUND: "cardboard boxes of the gray plastic PVC tubes used to make the canisters. The boxes appeared to contain shipments of tubes directly from factories in the Middle East, none of them in Iran. http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/03/04/news/shoot.php WE ARE ASKED TO BELIEVE THE FOLLOWING: A KREMLIN EXPERT STATES ON NATIONAL TV THAT THE KREMLIN IS KILLING ITS CRITICS, AND THEN FOUR HOURS AFTER MEETING WITH A FORMER K-G-B GENERAL LATER THAT WEEK, THE KREMLIN EXPERT IS GUNNED DOWN IN FRONT OF HIS HOME IN SUBURBAN MARYLAND. The F-B-I says it was a simple robbery ACCORDING TO REUTERS. POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR TWO BLACK MEN. DO YOU BELIEVE IT? http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/05/AR2007030500357.html SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED A NATURAL BARRIER TO H-I-V, according to HEALTH DAY NEWS, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON POST. Researchers have discovered that cells in the mucosal lining of human genitalia produce a protein that "eats up" invading HIV -- possibly keeping the spread of the AIDS more contained than it might otherwise be. http://progressivepodcastnetwork.org POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW IS PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE HAVE JOINED THE PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK. WE ENCOURAGE YOU VISIT PROGRESSIVEPODCASTNETWORK DOT ORG. 60- PROGRESSIVE PODCAST NETWORK THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://johnbakersblog.co.uk/why-ban-poetry/ “The U.S. Treasury Department - which, among other things, handles cases of treason - recently warned American publishers against translating poetry from Iran. Such translations, they avowed, would be considered ‘trading with the enemy,’ and would be punishable by fines and jail time.” THIS ABOMINATION WAS NOTED ON JOHN BAKER'S BLOG, AND WAS TAKEN FROM AN ARTICLE WRITTEN BY ROBERT PEAKE ENTITLED "Why Poetry Matters Now" YOU CAN FIND THE LINK AT POORMOJOSNEWSSHOW.-- NO APOSTROPHE - DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM IN THE ENTRY FOR TODAY'S PODCAST. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070305/ts_nm/weight_puberty_dc EARLY-ONSET PUBERTY HAS BEEN LINKED TO CHILDHOOD OBESITY, ACCORDING TO AN REUTERS ARTICLE QUOTING A MULTI-YEAR STUDY FROM THE University of Michigan's Mott Children's Hospital. THE GIRLS IN THE SURVEY who were fatter at age 3 and who gained weight during the next three years reached puberty, as defined by breast development, by age 9. http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/03/05/coulter.ads/index.html FUGLY, GIANT-SIZED MAN THING ANN COULTER WILL HAVE SOME TROUBLE AFFORDING HER ESTROGEN TREATMENTS AND ADAMS-APPLE CONCEALER, NOW THAT MAINSTREAM ADVERTISERS ARE LEAVING HER WEB SITE LIKE RATS OFF A SINKING SHIP. ACCORDING TO C-N-N, Verizon, Sallie Mae and Georgia-based NetBank each said they didn't know their ads were on AnnCoulter.com until they received the complaints. I GUESS SHE'S OUT LOOKING FOR SOME MORE DEMOCRATS TO CALL FAGGOT, SEEING AS IT WORKED OUT SO WELL THIS TIME. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://thinkprogress.org/2007/03/06/morin-bush-va/ IT bearS repeated mentioning that Walter Reed was privatized, and that the horrors started then., SAYS POOR MOJO NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO. HE BRINGS US WORD FORM THINK PROGRESS THAT, In an interview with National Public Radio, even American Legion National Commander Paul Morin, a regular political ally of the White House, pointed out that Bush has consistently skimped on veterans funding. “We are not pleased with the budget for the military and for the VA hospitals for our veterans,” Morin said. “I blame the President and Congress for insufficient funding of the VA health care system.” THINK PROGRESS PRESENTS THE FACTS: FACT: Bush plans to cut veterans health care after 2008. White House budget documents assume consecutive cutbacks in 2009 and 2010 and a freeze thereafter.” FACT: Bush raises health care costs for veterans. For the fifth year in a row, Bush’s budget has attempted to raise health care costs on 1.3 million veterans, calling for “new enrollment fees and higher drug co-payments for some veterans.” FACT: THE Bush administration has claimed veterans benefits are “hurtful” to national security. “The amounts have gotten to the point where they are hurtful. They are taking away from the nation’s ability to defend itself,” says David Chu, the Pentagon’s undersecretary for personnel and readiness. http://www.statesman.com/opinion/content/editorial/stories/03/06/6krugman_edit.html PAUL KRUGMAN IN THE NEW YORK TIMES LIKENED THE WALTER READ SCANDAL TO HURRICAINE KATRINA: For all its cries of "support the troops," the Bush administration has treated veterans' medical care the same way it treats everything else: nickel-and-diming the needy, protecting the incompetent, and privatizing everything it can. What makes this a particular shame is that in the Clinton years, veterans' health care — like the Federal Emergency Management Agency — became a shining example of how good leadership can revitalize a troubled government program. But as with FEMA, the Bush administration has done all it can to undermine that achievement. And the Walter Reed scandal is another Hurricane Katrina: the moment when the administration's misgovernment became obvious to everyone. We know from Hurricane Katrina postmortems that one of the factors degrading FEMA's effectiveness was the Bush administration's relentless push to outsource and privatize disaster management, which demoralized government employees and drove away many of the agency's most experienced professionals. It appears that the same thing has been happening to veterans' care. The redoubtable Henry Waxman, chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, points out that IAP Worldwide Services, a company run by two former Halliburton executives, received a large contract to run Walter Reed under suspicious circumstances: the Army reversed the results of an audit concluding that government employees could do the job more cheaply. http://thinkprogress.org/2007/03/06/hagel-impeachment/ DO YOU KNOW WHAT DID RICHARD NIXON IN? DO YOU KNOW WHY HE RESIGNED? IT WASN'T THE WATERGATE TAPES. HE WOULD HAVE STONEWALLED FOREVER. IT WASN'T VIET-NAM. HE WOULD HAVE BOMBED FOREVER. HE RESIGNED BECAUSE THE REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL AND SENATE LEADERSHIP WALKED DOWN TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND TOLD HIM IT WAS TIME TO GO. AND SO, NIXON WENT, UNDER HIS OWN STEAM AND OWN TERMS. WILL GEORGE W. BUSH BE THAT SMART? WILL THE REPUBLICANS MAKE THAT WALK? AGAIN, FROM THINK PROGRESS, QUOTING ESQUIRE MAGAZINE, Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE) has suggested that Congress may consider the impeachment of President Bush before his term ends: “The president says, ‘I don’t care.’ He’s not accountable anymore,” Hagel says, measuring his words by the syllable and his syllables almost by the letter. “He’s not accountable anymore, which isn’t totally true. You can impeach him, and before this is over, you might see calls for his impeachment. I don’t know. It depends how this goes.” The conversation beaches itself for a moment on that word — impeachment — spoken by a conservative Republican from a safe Senate seat in a reddish state. It’s barely even whispered among the serious set in Washington, and it rings like a gong in the middle of the sentence, even though it flowed quite naturally out of the conversation he was having about how everybody had abandoned their responsibility to the country, and now there was a war going bad because of it. ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 5:32 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 63 (64 kbps .mp3 10:19 4.7 Mb) A roundup of things that seemed important since Friday. This statement is false IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR MONDAY, MARCH FIFTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT SINCE FRIDAY. http://www.boingboing.net/2007/03/01/department_of_homela.html http://www.boingboing.net/2007/03/01/homeland_security_re.html HOMELAND SECURITY HAS TWO GREAT IDEAS ON TAP THAT I'M SURE YOU'LL ENJOY. THE FIRST IS AN INTERNAL PASSPORT, MANDATORY IF YOU WANT TO FLY OR VISIT A FEDERAL BUILDING, ACCORDING TO BOING-BOING DOT NET. AND IF YOU SOMEHOW RUN AFOUL OF THE LAW, YOU MAY JUST END UP ON A FARM, REPLACING A MIGRANT WORKER, MAKING SIXTY CENTS PER DAY. http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070302/NEWS04/70302010 A DETROIT-AREA FUGITIVE TEEN GAVE HIMSELF AWAY THURSDAY BY USING HIS MY-SPACE PAGE TO TAUNT THE POLICE, WHO THEREBY QUICKLY CAUGHT HIM.. HERE'S A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR DAVE-O... I used to teach high school, and in the last few years students were perpetually confessing to crimes on Livejournal and MySpace. At one time, I gave a "Don't Confess to Crimes in a Public Forum and Then Cry and Rage When You Are Confronted with Print-Outs" speech almost weekly. It had no noticeable effect. Why are children so fucking stupid? http://thelastangrymanspodcast.podomatic.com/entry/2007-02-28T00_09_57-08_00 PLEASE GO AND LISTEN TO THE LAST ANGRY MAN'S PODCAST, OVER ON POD-O-MATIC...THE LINK IS AT THE NEWSWIRE, JUST SEARCH FOR THE LAST ANGRY MAN... AN EXCERPT FROM FRIDAY'S 'CAST: What I learned of my studies of the Holocaust was that no laws were broken in Germany. The Jews were killed legally. That's why it doesn't bother me when a Ku Klux Klan member is running down the street yelling, 'I hate negroes" and "I hate kikes", that doesn't really bother me. It's when they get elected to office and they have power, and since we're bound by law, if someone changes the law, then they have power over us. Power to kill us, power to take away our rights, power to do whatever they want to us.... For example, how long did it take for the Jews to become illegal people? Able to be killed legally? It wasn't just a couple of laws. It took eight or nine years of laws, culminating in the Nuremberg Laws. They happen slowly, one step at a time, until legal murder could be done. And the Jews didn't even realize it was happening. Is that happening in this country? FOR MORE, JUST LOOK FOR THE LAST ANGRY MAN. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070302/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/new_warheads WHY ON EARTH WOULD THE UNITED STATES WANT TO UPGRADE IT'S ARSENAL OF NUCLEAR WEAPSONS? POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO'S BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT... Y'know, we never even used the *last* generation of nukes we had sitting around. Why should we invest a kajillion dollars in a new generation when the last generation didn't do anything? Wait. Sorry, I'm getting a message from the Poormojo International desk. The message is one word and one word only, it is: China. http://americablog.blogspot.com/2007/03/new-head-of-walter-reed-let-soldier.html THE GUY WHO LET THINGS DETERIORATE AT WALTER REED ARMY HOSPITAL TO THE POINT WHERE WAREHOUSED IRAQ OCCUPATION WOUNDED WERE LEFT LYING IN PISS-SOAKED MATTRESSES ATTACHED TO OVERFLOWING COLOSTOMY BAGS, IN ROOMS FULL OF ROACHES AND MOLD, WAS PUT BACK IN CHARGE OF THE HOSPITAL FRIDAY, ACCORDING TO AMERICABLOG. http://thinkprogress.org/2007/03/01/veterans-starbucks/ AND IF YOU'RE AT WALTER REED AND WANT TO TALK TO A REPORTER, WELL, SEEING THAT REPORTERS ARE BASICALLY NOT WELCOME ON *ANY* MILITARY PROPERTY AFTER LAST-WEEK'S REPORTING ON THE HOSPITAL, THINK PROGRESS REPORTS THAT IRAQ OCCUPATION VETS ARE TOLD BY THE ARMY THAT THEY'RE WELCOME TO DRAG THEIR PROSTHETIC LIMBS DOWN TO STARBUCKS AND DO THE INTERVIEW THERE. http://therandirhodesshow.com/live/ THANKS TO THE RANDI RHODES SHOW FOR THESE LINKS AND CONTINUING TO COVER THE STORY OF HOW AMERICA HAS BETRAYED HER WAR WOUNDED. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/6405667.stm A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS IS EXPLORING A HUGE CRACK IN THE EARTH'S CRUST, ACCORDING TO B-B-C NEWS. Dr Chris MacLeod, from Cardiff University, said the Earth's crust appeared to be completely missing in an area thousands of kilometres across. The hole in the crust is midway between the Cape Verde Islands and the Caribbean, on the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/01/katrina.claim/index.html THE CITY OF LOUISANA HAS SUED THE U-S ARMY CORP OF ENGINEERS FOR SEVENTY-SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS, ACCORDIN TO C-N-N. THOUGH OFFICIALS AREN'T CERTAIN WHAT STATUTE COVERS ITS DAMAGE CLAIMS, FRIDAY WAS THE LAST DAY SUCH CLAIMS COULD BE FILED. http://comicbookqueers.podomatic.com/entry/2007-02-25T21_15_40-08_00 IF YOU LOVE COMIC BOOKS, AS WE DO, AND YOU LOVE QUEERS, AS WE DO, THEN YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THE COMIC BOOK BOOK QUEERS PODCAST! THIS IS AN OFFICIAL POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW ENDORSMENT OF THE COMIC BOOK QUEERS, WHO IN EPISODE 23 OIL UP, JUMP INTO BED TOGETHER AND REVIEW Wonder Woman #4, Batman #663, and Ms. Marvel #12. THEY ALSO POST A PICTURE OF GRANT MORRISON'S SCVANTZ IN LIPSTICK-SMEARED TIGHTY-WHITEIES... CAN THIS MUCH FUN BE LEGAL? FOR THE LINK, PLEASE VISIT POORMOJO.ORG AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/02/BAGOCOECO284.DTL IF YOU LIVE IN WASHTINGTON, D.C. AND PAID TO HAVE A HIGH-PRICED CALL GIRL DIAPER YOU AND GIVE YOU A BOTTLE, OR STICK A FEATHER DUSTER UP YOUR ASS AND CALL YOU A PIG, OR SIMPLY GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB, YOU MAY BE IN TROUBLE. S-F GATE DOT COM REPORTS THAT A Vallejo woman indicted on federal racketeering charges for allegedly running a $2 million prostitution ring in Washington, D.C., is threatening to sell 46 pounds of detailed phone records of her clients to help pay for her defense, her attorney in a civil suit said FRIDAY. http://www.bookninja.com/?p=2384 ARE Richard Wright, TONI MORRISON AND KURT VONNEGUT'S WRITINGS PORNOGRAPHIC? ONLY A DICKHEAD WOULD ASK THE QUESTION. ENTER Vicki Fyke of the Livingston Organization for Values in Education, WHO WAS DICKHEAD ENOUGH TO FILE A FEDERAL COMPLAINT THAT THE AUTHORS' WORKS violate laws against distribution of pornography to minors because they contain depictions of sex and rape, and obscene language. BOOKNINJA DOT COM SAYS THAT The office of U.S. Attorney Stephen J. Murphy IS DICKHEADED ENOUGH TO FORWARD THE COMPLAINT TO SCHOOL OFFICIALS AND THE F-B-I. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-070301bad-tattoo,1,7041113.story?coll=chi-news-hed&ctrack=1&cset=true Michael Duplessis loves Chicago so much that he wanted its nickname tattooed on his chest. But the idea went terribly awry in a North Side tattoo parlor: He left with the word "CHI-TONW" inked into his skin where "CHI-TOWN" should have been, ACCORDING TO THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE. SO, NATURALLY, DUPLEISS HAS SUED HIS TATOO PARLOR AND ARTIST FOR DAMAGES, AND BY DOING SO, CEMENTS HIS REPUTATION AS A MORON FOR SPREADING WORD OF HIS MISTAKE TO AN AUDIENCE OF MILLIONS. The US Post Office has REMOVED clocks from 37,000 postal outlets in order to alleviate the problem of people feeling like they're waiting in line for TOO long, ACCORDING TO BOING-BOING DOT COM. A clockless atmosphere will apparently encourage a state of meditative interest in the workings of the postal service, without distracting with the sense of time's fleeting passage. http://www.tbo.com/news/metro/MGB4RGQLQYE.html A TAMPA MAN CAN NO LONGER MOVE, THANKS TO AN UNDERCOOKED CHICKEN BURRITO, ACCORDING TO A WIRE SERVICE REPORT. Roger Anderson and his lawyer said he ate the burrito at a Moe's Southwest Grill in Land O' Lakes on Sept. 30, only to be sickened shortly after with stomach cramps, diarrhea and joint pains. The burrito, they said, caused a bacterial infection, which led to a disease that affects the body's nerves. http://thinkprogress.org/2007/03/02/coulter-edwards/ AND FINALLY, OUR OWN EDITOR DAVE-O SAYS THAT MANNISH, FUGLY PUNDIT ANNE COULTER CallED DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE JOHN Edwards "Nigger," THEN GOT Paid FOR IT AND Applauded. DAVE-O WRITES: OK, I lied; Anne called Edwards a "faggot", not a "nigger", but what's the difference? She could have called him a "poopy-head" or tried to kiss him on the playground and then stuck a "KICK ME" sign on his back. The fact that we, as Americans, countenance someone participating in our public political discourse in such a manner -- the fact that she receives one red cent for her middle school antics -- utterly destroys any faith in our democracy I could conceivably develop at any time in the future. Hey, Jesus, JFK, MLK, RFK, Lincoln: Guess what? You died in vain! Ann Coulter -- her vibrant career, the fact that people DO NOT shun her the way they do the pitiful, unmedicated homeless humps begging at the bus stop -- is the living, breathing proof that you suffered and died FOR NOTHING! To hell with all these politicos; I'm voting for Ajai Raj! RAJ, OF COURSE, IS THE UNIVERSITY OF Texas at Austin STUDENT WHO was arrested AT A PUBLIC SPEAKING ENGAGMENT for asking Ann Coulter what she thinks of heterosexual marriages where the man fucks his wife in the ass all of the time. OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 62 for Friday, March 2, 2007 Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 62 (64 kbps .mp3 8:30 4.0 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Animals harmed in production IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR FRIDAY, MARCH SECOND, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6407925.stm THE NEWEST WINDOWS OPERATING SYSTEM, VISTA, IS CAUSING HEADACHES FOR EARLY ADOPTORS, ACCORDING TO BBC NEWS. AS HAPPENED WHEN WINDOWS XP WAS INTRODUCED, SOME THIRD-PARTY VENDORS HAVEN'T UPDATED THEIR SOFTWARE TO WORK PROPERLY WITH VISTA. IF THAT VENDOR IS YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER, YOU'RE BASICALLY KNOCKED OFFLINE. One reader was warned by Virgin Media that it would be "weeks" before its software worked with Vista. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6409509.stm AUSTRALIAN DAVID HICKS -- PICKED UP BY US FORCES IN AFGHANISTAN, ALLEGEDLY FIGHTING WITH THE TALIBAN -- WILL FACE TERROR CHARGES AFTER SPENDING FIVE YEARS BEING SMACKED AROUND AND OTHERWISE ABUSED IN OUR CONCENTRATION CAMP IN GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA. BBC NEWS REPORTED THAT The decision comes despite Australian officials asking the United States not to bring such charges. http://www.boingboing.net/2007/03/01/repo_man_for_ocean_f.html F. Max Hardberger STEALS SHIPS FOR A LIVING. WELL, MORE PROPERLY SAID, THE SHIP CAPTIAN AND ATTORNEY RECOVERS OCEAN VESSLES FOR THEIR LEGAL OWNERS WHEN THE MORTGAGE-HOLDERS CAN'T KEEP UP THE PAYMENTS. THAT'S RIGHT - HE'S A REPO-MAN FOR SHIPS. HARDBERGER SAYS, "I'm sure there are those who would like to add me to a list of modern pirates of the Caribbean, but I do whatever I can to protect the legal rights of my clients." AS SEEN ON BOING BOING DOT NET, HIS NEW ORLEANS FIRM, VESSEL EXTRACTIONS, HAS RECOVERED AT LEAST ONE DOZEN SHIPS. THE ARTICLE DIDN'T MENTION IF HARDBERGER ADMITTED THAT THE LIFE OF A REPO MAN IS ALWAYS INTENSE. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/15.03/herding_pr.html WIRED MAGAZINE'S RECENT ARTICLE, HERDING THE MOB, DESCRIBES VARIOUS DEVIOUS MEANS MEANIES USE TO GAIN AUDIANCE OR ILL-GOTTEN BOOTY. FROM THE ARTICLE'S SECTION ON E-BAY FRAUD -- Cheats on eBay typically work like this: A scammer builds up a positive profile by selling hundreds of low-end items, then uses that high score to burn customers on big-ticket sales. John Morgan, a professor at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business, says reputation gaming is surprisingly common on eBay. Morgan recently published a study in which he found more than 6,000 examples of buyers and sellers engaging in transactions solely to boost one another’s scores. These auctions frequently had titles like “100 Feedback” and a price of 1 cent. Often, the item for trade was a booklet explaining how to increase feedback by reselling that same booklet. “We saw a number of sellers who used sham transactions to build reputation, laid low for a period of time, and then reentered high-value markets as apparently ‘reputable’ sellers,” Morgan says. http://www.cnn.com/2007/EDUCATION/02/27/self.centered.students.ap/index.html DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT THERE MIGHT BE SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH SELF ESTEEM? ARE LITTLE ABIGAIL AND TREVOR' S SENSE OF SELF-WORTH STARTING TO GET ON YOUR NERVES? A SAN DIEGO STATE UNIVERSITY RESEARCHER QUOTED BY C-N-N AGREES. Totday's college students are more narcissistic and self-centered than their predecessors, according to a comprehensive new study by five psychologists who worry that the trend could be harmful to personal relationships and American society. "We need to stop endlessly repeating 'You're special' and having children repeat that back," said the study's lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. "Kids are self-centered enough already." SO, THE NEXT TIME YOU RUN ACROSS ONE OF THESE SMUG, SELF-SATISFIED TYKES, JUST WHISPER IN THEIR EAR: "YOU'RE UGLY, AND YOUR MOMMY DRESSES YOU FUNNY." WE NOW PAUSE FOR A MESSAGE FROM GAMERS LEDGE DAILY PODCAST: Cooperatively sponsored by: Gamersledge Podcast is a daily video-game podcast that airs Tuesday thru Friday. It is hardcore-oriented, but that doesn't mean we won't be all-inclusive for casual gamers. We cover the latest news, rumors and review games for the big three! Web site: Gamersledge THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070228/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/cartel_drug_bust 45 MILLION DOLLARS IN DRUGS WERE CONFISCATED AND 402 MEMBERS OF MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS CAPTURED BY FEDERAL AND STATE OFFICIALS PARTICIPATING IN OPERATION IMPERIAL EMPEROR, A 20-MONTH STING. DISCOVERED DURING THE INVESTIGATION: a bridge made from sandbags partially submerged in the Colorado River outside of Yuma, Ariz. Among the cache so far collected by the Drug Enforcement Administration: _27,229 pounds of marijuana. _9,512 pounds of cocaine. _705 pounds of methamphetamine. _227 pounds of pure methamphetamine, or "ice." _11 pounds of heroin. _$6.1 million in property and assets. and _An estimated 100 weapons and 94 vehicles. http://www.reuters.com/article/politicsNews/idUSN0139387920070301?src=030107_1451_TOPSTORY_sadr_city_push THE GENERAL IN CHARGE OF WALTER REED ARMY HOSPITAL HAS BEEN SHITCANNED, ACCORDING TO REUTERS. An Army statement said top officials had lost confidence in Maj. Gen. George Weightman's ability "to address needed solutions for soldier outpatient care" at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C. Problems at the hospital were brought to light by a Washington Post investigation published last month. It found that recuperating soldiers were living in a dilapidated building infested with mice, mold, and cockroaches. The newspaper also found wounded troops forced to untangle a web of bureaucratic red tape to obtain benefits and treatment as they coped with physical and psychological trauma. HOWEVER, AS RANDI RHODES POINTED OUT ON HER AIR AMERICA RADIO RADIO PROGRAM THIS AFTERNOON, THE TWO PREVIOUS GENERALS RESPONSIBLE FOR WALTER REED'S TREATMENT OF WOUNDED IRAQ WAR SOLDIERS -- INCLUDING ONE WHO LIVED ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE INFAMOUS BUILDING 18 -- REMAIN UNPUNISHED FOR THIER MALFEASANCE. THE GUY FIRED TODAY, Weightman, HAS BEEN ON THE JOB FOR MERE MONTHS. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: Superman really fucking hates smokers Right wing smear machine aims at Obama's church Trailer: Paprika Guitar Hero + Commodore 64 Steampunk Star Wars Shopping Cart Basketball Hoop Fursuit crafter arrested FOR TRADEMARK VIOLATIONS Mexico outlaws jealous, possessive husbands "Where can White Americans go to understand the changing world around us?" - a public service announcement Journalists to Asian Week, WTF?! and OMFG!! Deadly Emos invade North Dakoka OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE ON BEHALF OF LONGO, BRETT, JIM, DAVE-O, FRITZ, THE GIANT SQUID AND MOJO, THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 5:31 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 61 (64 kbps .mp3 12:13 5.6 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Lying out of habit, truthing out of spite. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR THURSDAY, MARCH FIRST, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.armytimes.com%2Fnews%2F2007%2F02%2FTNSreedinspect070227%2F OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, DON'T JOIN THE MILITARY. SECOND OF ALL, IF YOU DO JOIN THE MILITARY, KNOW THAT WHAT THEY TELL YOU WILL NOT BE THE TRUTH. THE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT HAVE TO KEEP ITS END OF ANY DEAL MADE WITH MEMBERS OF THE ARMED FORCES. AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GETTING SHAFTED WHILE IN THE MILITARY -- SAY, IF YOU LIVE IN A ROACH-INFESTED CRAPHOLE HOSPITAL FULL OF MOLD AND BROKEN ELEVATORS AS YOU HEAL UP FROM HAVING HALF YOUR HEAD BLOWN OFF IN THE SERVICE OF YOUR COUNTRY -- AND YOU GO WHINING TO THE MEDIA, WELL, THIS HAPPENS. FROM ARMY TIMES: Soldiers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center’s Medical Hold Unit say they have been told they will wake up at 6 a.m. every morning and have their rooms ready for inspection at 7 a.m., and that they must not speak to the media. “Some soldiers believe this is a form of punishment for the trouble soldiers caused by talking to the media,” one Medical Hold Unit soldier said, speaking on the condition of anonymity. It is unusual for soldiers to have daily inspections after Basic Training. PLEASE GO TO CONGRESS DOT ORG OR YOUR CONGRESSPERSON'S WEB SITES AND ALSO WRITE THE PRESIDENT AND TELL THEM TO MAKE THE BRASS AT WALTER REED CUT THIS SHIT OUT. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/27/AR2007022702116_pf.html I'M GLAD THAT THOSE WITH MEDICAL INSURANCE IN THE UNITED STATES HAVE A CHOICE OF DOCTORS, BECAUSE THAT'S CERTAINLY WORTH THE LIFE OF A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD BOY. GOOD THING WE DON'T HAVE THAT EVIL SINGLE-PAYER UNIVERAL HEALTH CARE COVERAGE! FROM THE WASHINGTON POST: Twelve-year-old Deamonte Driver died of a toothache Sunday. A routine, $80 tooth extraction might have saved him. If his mother had been insured. If his family had not lost its Medicaid. If Medicaid dentists weren't so hard to find. If his mother hadn't been focused on getting a dentist for his brother, who had six rotted teeth. By the time Deamonte's own aching tooth got any attention, the bacteria from the abscess had spread to his brain, doctors said. After two operations and more than six weeks of hospital care, the Prince George's County boy died. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/63796 WE NOW PRESENT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR FRITZ'S ESSAY ENTITLED, ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIED OF PNEUMONIA. Smith's life and death have become, for me, even more essentially contemporary than even Princess Diana's death. This story defines the celebrity age. Diana was killed by the paparazzi, and that has a certain manic zing to it, but ultimately she was still a person whos identity existed distinct from her celebrity. Smith, whose real name was Vickie Lynn Marshall (nee' Hogan), was a cypher entirely created by her own celebrity. She was almost the ubermensch in a classically Nietzchean sense: she had embraced nihilism so completely, had so completely destroyed herself and her identity, and replaced it with an aesthetic identity, a pose, which obliterated all past, that she has come as close as most anyone else to the Over Man Nietzche describes. And here, her physicality seeks its vengeance on her numinous self. She had Pneumonia, a diesease of the flesh, but she denied her own reality: apparently the pain killers she was taking aleviated her suffering, but masked how serious the real disease was. She died of pneumonia, feeling fine the whole way. This is truth. And fact. And now her orbit of mirrors, the lawyers and hangers on, and the discarded past as embodied by her corpulent mother, all spiral inward toward the collapsing star that was her fragile identity. As her body rots, they tear at it and each other. Because while her guise was only a glamour, it had still managed to accumulate at least the chance of real gold to pair with the artful glimmer. Artifice of the body begat an odd artificial love, which begat an artificial fortune, 500 million dollars, so many zeros it has no physical form, instead having transubstatiated itself beyond mere currency into some new plane composed of pure power, and who ever can tear away the last shreds of that physical form Anna struggled so hard to overcome will win that power for themselves, and they will follow her down that path. She started as a KFC waitress, and through force of will she created a universe of her very own. My uncle, Harry Hartman, died of pneumonia two nights ago. He was eighty. He lived longer than any Hartman has ever lived. Pneumonia in this day and age is a death reserved for the poor, the old, the enfeebled. Uncle Harry was some measure of all those things. For Smith to die of it is like the maw of her past, her physical past, tearing its way through the boundaries of her universe so as to devour her, to tear her back to that moment when she was seventeen, pregant with her son, married to the KFC cook. Daniel died, then she died. He was destroyed by the drugs that come with her fame. She was destroyed by the delusion of the universe itself, how it hid her basic and original self. And now, it is like that former woman never existed. She has succeeded in her dream. Everything about Vickie Lynn Hogan is gone, rotting on a slab, soon to be buried in the islands by Daniel, the other remnant. If there is justice, little five month old Dani Lynn will get all of the money in a trust. And she will be the rich beautiful perfect and untainted creature, the wholly made creature, the creature whose substance is artifice and whose artifice is substantial, that her mother always struggled to become but was always denied. Fatherless Dani Lynn. Vickie Lynn is dead. But Dani Lynn may yet be risen up. Rise Up, Dani Lynn! Rise Up! THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.newswire.poormojo.org/archives/014382.php POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE CONTRIBUTOR LONGO COMMENTS ON WHAT GOD HATH WROUGHT WHEN SHE CONNECTED THOSE INTERNETS TUBES: When Rosie O'Donnell was talking about the international news covering Danny Devito's drunken escapades on the View, she said something along the lines of:"Imagine in China [people talking about it saying], Ching chong ching. Danny Devito. Ching Chong Ching. Drunk. The View. Ching chong." The audience laughed and that was the end of that. But then Beau Sia, a well-known poet within the slam poet community posted a response entitled "Open Letter to All the Rosie O'Donnells" on Youtube. And Rosie saw it and responded. I guess this isn't such a big deal but it is fascinating to me the way technology is changing our social interactions and giving us a voice, enabling us to hold people, especially celebrities, who previously were protected by their disconnect with us normal folk living normal lives, accountable for their actions. Of course, there was the possibility that she wouldn't have seen the video, but it could potentially be passed around and shared until it got so big she couldn't ignore it. In the past, what could SIA have done? Written an angry letter that was thrown in the trash by the intern who opens the mail? Ah. The internet. Is there anything you can't do? Besides make me pancakes, that is. Oh, and hug. CHECK OUT BOTH YOUTUBE VIDEOS CONVENIENTLY JUXTAPOSED ON POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE. http://www.darkhorizons.com/news07/070227e.php POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO RALLIES ALL YOU GEEKS OUT THERE TO PREPARE FOR WORLD WAR Z -- THE MOVIE. ACCORDING TO DARK HORIZONS DOT COM: J. Michael Straczynski, the man who created what remains one of TV most complex serial dramas --"Babylon 5"-- is set to write the adaptation of "World War Z" by Max Brooks for Paramount Pictures reports IGN. The novel, a clever collection of retrospective interview anecdotes, covers the accounts of nearly four dozen people from all walks of life who played different parts in a virus pandemic that turned most of the world's population into zombies and threatened to overwhelm the globe until we fought back. HERE'S MOJO'S PERSONAL NOTE: I gobbled the book down in a weekend and loved every page of it. The book is a Studs Terkel-esque look back at the Zombie War and is fragmented and short and jumps all over the globe. It looks like they plan to stay true to the structure and have the main character be a reporter working on chronicling the War. The Magic Eighball of my soul has been shook, and the reading is: cautiously excited. http://www.rawstory.com/news/2007/Swift_Boat_financier_pressed_by_Kerry_0228.html REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD, AND WE END TODAY'S PROGRAM HOPING TO ASSIST SENATOR JOHN KERRY TO SPREAD THE WORD OF HOW HE BENT OVER SWIFTBOATER SAM FOX AND MADE HIM SQUEAL LIKE A PIG. RAW STORY DOT COM HAS THE PLAY-BY-PLAY: A staid confirmation hearing yesterday took an exciting turn when it gave Senator John Kerry the opportunity to confront a major financier of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, a political group that maligned the decorated Vietnam Veteran in the 2004 presidential race. When the senator pressed Sam Fox, a businessman and Bush supporter nominated to be America's next ambassador to Belgium, on the issue, the nominee admitted to Kerry "you're a hero" and called for the government to ban all advocacy groups like the Swift Boat Vets. And then Fox cried like a little girl. SO FUCKING Pwnd! ## C L O S E R ## OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. WE'RE OVER TIME, SO ALL I CAN SAY IS PLEASE VISIT OUR NEWSWIRE, WHICH IS STUFFED TO BURSTING TODAY WITH TALES OF THE SIMPSONS MOVIE, LESBIAN KOALAS, INKLESS PRINTERS AND REUSEABLE OFFICE PAPER, STOLEN PICASSOS... FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 11:53 PM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 60 (64 kbps .mp3 11:45 5.3 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. We don't like you, either. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY TWENTY-EIGHTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.mississauga.com/mi/news/story/3887975p-4496787c.html A PLUCKY CANADIAN 12-YEAR-OLD WAS SILENCED BY SCHOOL OFFICIALS FOR WRITING A HUMOROUS SPEECH ABOUT HOW BORED HE WAS IN FRENCH CLASS. Gianmarco Trimboli's father is livid that his son wasn't allowed to deliver his speech in front of his class, ACCORDING TO THE MISSISAGUA NEWS. HIS PRINCIPAL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DISRESPECTFUL TO THE FRENCH TEACHER IF THE BOY -- WHO WON LAST YEAR'S SCHOOL SPEECH CONTEST -- READ IT OUT LOUD. DUDE, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY SUBMIT THAT TO THE RANT SECTION AT POORMOJO.ORG. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE CONTRIBUTOR JIM'S COMMENT: Teaching lesson 1: Give a twelve year-old an inch and a vector on your position and that's an inch's running start. http://www.aka.kite.org/data/download/pdf/Pamphlets/AKAPamphlet_fighters.pdf YESTERDAY WE COVERED PAKISTAN'S ANNUAL KITE-STRING MASSACRE, IN WHICH DOZENS ARE MAIMED AND MURDERED BY STRAY BULLETS, SHARPENED KITE STRING AND FALLING OFF ROOFS AT A SPRING KITE FLYING FESTIVAL. JIM ONCE AGAIN ENLIGHTENS US WITH A LINK TO The American Kitefliers Association' PUBLICATION: "Flying Basics for Fighter Kites". CATCH THE PDF AT THE NEWSWIRE. JIM SAYS: You'll notice that the AKA doesn't recommend the use of dor (though I'm not sure if that's what it's called in Pakistan), or "glass-encrusted, sharp, stretched cotton kite line." I've gotten to fly these kites a couple of times, and believe me... once you start to get the hang of it it's incredibly engrossing and fun, to the point that I can see how you might not notice if you accidentally beheaded a couple of kids downfield. Not sure how bullets entered the equation... but still. http://rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fsfgate.com%2Fcgi-bin%2Farticle.cgi%3Ffile%3D%2Fc%2Fa%2F2007%2F02%2F27%2FMNGTCOBI921.DTL Why would a newspaper in San Fransisco called AsianWEEK run an article by an avowed Asian Supremecist entitled "I Hate Blacks?" I guess it's refreshing to let a complete asshole be a complete asshole in print once in a while, and a nice slap in our complacent, 21st-Century faces to see such bald-faced, completely honest racism. Sickening, but perhaps necessary. FROM THE S-F GATE DOT COM ARTICLE: THE 20-YEAR-OLD COLUMNIST'S REASONS FOR HATING BLACK PEOPLE INCLUDE: " -- "Blacks hate us. Every Asian who has ever come across them knows that they take almost every opportunity to hurl racist remarks at us." -- "Contrary to media depictions, I would argue that blacks are weak-willed. They are the only race that has been enslaved for 300 years." -- "Blacks are easy to coerce. This is proven by the fact that so many of them, including the Rev. Al Sharpton, tend to be Christians." I'm praying for this complete asshole. May he find inner peace, or a deep hole to crawl into. Or both. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pittsburghlive.com%2Fx%2Fpittsburghtrib%2Fnews%2Fmostread%2Fs_495183.html IF YOU EVER IN YOUR LIFE PAID THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION TO COLLECTABLES, YOU KNOW WHO HONUS WAGNER WAS. HE WAS THE PITTSFIELD PIRATES SHORTSTOP WHO HATED TOBACCO AND ENDED UP ON A TOBACCO CARD, A PRECURSOR TO BUBBLE-GUM CARDS, IN 1909. ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THE CARD IN EXISTENCE -- THERE ARE ONLY 60 -- JUST SOLD FOR TWO POINT FIVE MILLION DOLLARS. FROM THE PITTSBURGH-TRIBINE-REVIEW ARTICLE, VIA RAW STORY: The seller, Brian Seigel, said the Wagner cards are so rare that even tattered ones will sell for hundreds of thousands of dollarS. "you could [them] stick in middle of the street and let cars drive over it through the day, take it in your hand and crumple it up, and it still would be a $100,000 card, http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/26/opinion/26mon4.html?ei=5087%0A&em=&en=7fa211baa4bb4830&ex=1172725200&pagewanted=print THE U-S ATTORNEY FIRING SCANDAL HAS REACHED THE NEW YORK TIMES OPINION PAGES. ADAM COHEN SAYS: It is hard to call what’s happening anything other than a political purge. The Bush administration cleared the way for these personnel changes by slipping a little-noticed provision into the Patriot Act last year that allows the president to appoint interim U.S. attorneys for an indefinite period without Senate confirmation. U.S. attorneys have enormous power. Their decision to investigate or indict can bankrupt a business or destroy a life. They must be, and long have been, insulated from political pressures. Although appointed by the president, once in office they are almost never asked to leave until a new president is elected. The Congressional Research Service has confirmed how unprecedented these firings are. It found that of 486 U.S. attorneys confirmed since 1981, perhaps no more than three U-S ATTORNEYS were forced out in similar ways — three in 25 years, compared with seven in recent months. It is not just the large numbers. The firing of H. E. Cummins III is raising many questions. he was forced out to make room for J. Timothy Griffin, a former Karl Rove deputy with thin legal experience who did opposition research for the Republican National Committee. ADAM DOES A PRETTY GOOD JOB, BUT OVERLOOKS ONE IMPORTANT FUNCTION OF U-S ATTORNEYS. THEY PROSECUTE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION. ANY WONDER BUSH IS SWITCHING OUT GOOD PROSECUTORS FOR HIS DRONES? http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/02/25/seymour-hersh-negroponte-iran-contra-fundsoh-my/ IF YOU LIVED THROUGH IRAN/CONTRA IN THE 1980S, YOU PROBABLY REMEMBER JOHN NEGROPONTE. HE WAS AMBASSADOR TO HONDOURAS WHILE THE SECRET GOVERNMENT IN THE BASEMENT OF THE WHITE HOUSE WAS SELLING MISSLES TO OUR ENEMY, IRAN, TO FUND THE INSURGENT TERRORIST CONTRAS IN NEIGHBORING NICARAGUA. IT'S DOCUMENTED FACT THAT NEGROPONTE KNEW THE CIA WAS TRAINING HONDURAN DEATH SQUADS TO TORTURE AND KILL PEASANTS. THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE REASON SEYMOUR HERSH GIVES IN HIS LATEST ARTICLE IN THE NEW YORKER FOR NEGROPONTE TO GIVE UP RUNNING THE ENTIRE U-S SPY SYSTEM TO BECOME CONDOLEEZA RICE'S GOFER AS AN UNDERSECRETARY OF STATE SO AMAZING. HERSH SAYS THE REASON NEGORPONTE STEPPED DOWN WAS HE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE HIS NAME ANYWHERE NEAR THE WIERD AND ILLEGAL SHIT COMING OUT OF THE OFFICE OF VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY. LIKE WHAT? http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/070305fa_fact_hersh?page=5 HOW ABOUT OFFERING CLANDESTINE SUPPORT TO SUNNI TERRORISTS IN LEBANNON? CHENY SEEMS TO HAVE GOTTEN HIS MARCHING ORDERS FROM SAUDI ARABIA LAST NOVEMBER, DURING HIS COMMAND PERFORMANCE ON THANKSGIVING DAY BEFORE THE HOUSE OF SAUD. AND SO, CHENEY IS ILLEGALLY OFFERING AID AND COMFORT TO OUR TERRORIST ENEMIES, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY STRUGGLE AGAINST OUR OTHER TERRORIST ENEMIES, IRAN-BACKED HEZBOLLAH. LISTEN, IF WAR CRIMINALS LIKE NEGROPONTE DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU ANYMORE, WHAT YOU'RE DOING MUST BE PRETTY FUCKED UP. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-immigtexas27feb27,0,6925334.story?coll=la-home-headlines THE UNITED STATES FOUGHT A CIVIL WAR OVER THE VALUE THAT EVERYONE BORN IN THIS COUNTRY IS AN AMERICAN AND HAS GOD-GIVEN, INALIENABLE RIGHTS. THAT GOOD IDEA IS CALLED THE 14TH AMENDMENT OF THE U-S CONSTITUTION. (AND YES, I KNOW, THE CIVIL WAR WAS ALSO ABOUT INDUSTRIALIZATION.) ANYWAY, I BRING THIS UP BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO THE LOS ANGELES TIMES, FUCKING IDIOTS IN THE TEXAS LEGISLATURE ARE FORCING A COURT BATTLE TO PUT THE QUESTION OF WHAT THE 14TH AMENDMENT REALLY MEANS BEFORE A FEDERAL JUDGE. THE REASON? THEY HATE SOME ILLEGAL ALIENS. NOT THE CUTE, CUDDLY IRISH ILLEGAL ALIENS THAT TEND BAR AND MAKE BEDS. NOT THE RUSSIAN ILLEGAL ALIENS THAT ARE ALSO WHITE AND MAKE SUCH WONDERFUL STRIPPERS. NO, OF COURSE WE MEAN DARK-SKINNED, MEXICAN ILLEGAL ALIENS. AND THEIR BABIES, WHICH CURRENTLY, WHEN BORN IN THE UNITED STATES, BECOME CITIZENS OF OUR BASTION OF LIBERTY. THE GOAL, ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE, IS TO STRIP ILLEGAL ALIENS AND THIER CHILDREN OF STATE-FUNDED SERVICES. LIKE EDUCATION. AND HEALTH CARE. NEVER MIND THAT PISSANT TEXAS STATE LEGISLATORS ARE SEVERAL MILLION LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM BEING THE PEOPLE WHO COULD POSSIBLY QUESTION CONSITUTIONAL AMENDMENTS, LIKE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES OR MEMBERS OF THE U-S HOUSE AND SENATE. KNOW WHAT THIS REMINDS ME OF? EVER HEARD OF THE NUREMBURG LAWS? http://www.mtsu.edu/~baustin/holokron.html LOOKING UP ANY SCHOLARLY CRONOLOGY OF THE HOLOCAUST, WE LEARN THAT ON September 15TH, 1935, THE German Congress passeD the so-called Nuremburg Laws which redefineD German Jews as non-citizens and banED Jews from any political participation. DO YOU WANT TO START MONKEYING WITH THE 14TH AMEMENDMENT? DO YOU WANT TO CREATE A DIS-ENFRANCHISED UNDERCLASS OF NATIVE-BORN PEOPLE WITH BROWN SKIN? What does it mean when a country starts fucking with its citizenship laws? What kind of people revoke citizenship FROM INNOCENT CHILDREN once it is legally given? ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: Bush and Co. show their priorities, pledge to veto any security bill that is favorable to labor The Army wants Jack Bauer to condemn torture Using bacteria to earthquake-proof California? Tape dispenser causes UK terror alert Take a bite and take a hit - An artificial tooth which automatically releases medicine rape victims in Missouri are billed for their rape kits The Coming War with China Dept.: Dow Average Falls 416 Points After Sell-Off in China The glaring problem of private police How the world could stop us: dump the dollar Massive landslide in SAN FRANSISCO'S North Beach AREA Portland Vegan Bakery Offers Bike-Thru Window AND ARTIST Arik Roper has a store now OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 5:38 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 59 (64 kbps .mp3 9:21 4.7 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Fun Fact: Elvis, JFK, Hoffa and Hitler are really dead. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR TUESDAY, FEBRUARY TWENTY-SEVENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.mlive.com/search/index.ssf?/base/news-0/117250460836450.xml?aanews?NEO&coll=2 Poor Mojo Editor Dave-o published the following in his hometown newspaper: Monday, February 26, 2007 To: President George Bush The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500 Dear Mr. President, I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Yesterday our trees were full of robins eating juniper berries. I've lived in Michigan all of my life, and have never heard of a robin eating anything other than grubs or worms (and, perhaps, the occasional ripe cherry), and never seen a robin in early February. Our winter almost didn't come this year: between October and mid-January, our temperatures rarely dipped below 40 degrees, hovering mostly between 50s and 60s - that's May weather here, shirt-sleeves weather. We had gnats and mosquitos in December. Then, in mid-January, the freeze snapped shut like a leg-hold trap, and we've since had weeks of single-digit cold, mornings so frigid that school is canceled because the buses won't start (also unprecedented in Michigan). Until February it never got cold enough for the ground to freeze, and so the robins never migrated. Now it's too late for them to leave, and they are starving and freezing. Roughly 1,800 years ago, midway through the first millennium, there was a worldwide temperature drop of a bit more than two degrees. This caused the failure of Egyptian wheat crops. At the time Egypt was controlled by Rome, who relied on the ample harvest. Rome was a city of more than a million people, requiring 300,000 tons of grain per year to keep the citizens fed. Assuring an ample bread supply was a major hot-button political issue. Since the failed harvests meant no vast wheat surplus from within their empire, the Roman government needed to buy foreign grain. This caused a budget shortfall, and Rome was no longer able to afford their enormous army. Without consistent military protection, the fringes of the empire began to fray; barbarians succeeded more and more often in their looting raids, destabilizing the Roman hinterlands. Ultimately, Rome collapsed and the Dark Ages began, all because of a two-degree temperature drop. Since I was born the mean worldwide temperature has risen about one degree, and is projected to rise another seven or eight during my infant son's lifetime - a precipitous, unprecedented climate shift. What does this mean? What will it mean? My son is 9 months old, and our little family works to keep our carbon footprint small: we drive a hybrid, bike and walk whenever possible, buy our meat and produce locally whenever we can. All of our bulbs are fluorescent. We've blown in as much insulation as will fit in our attic, removed our old basement windows in favor of insulating glass blocks, and replaced our major appliances with Energy Star and high-efficiency models. We use cloth diapers, washing them ourselves in our high-efficiency washer. Most of what we own is recycled, reused or hand-me-down. Still, by the time my son is my age - and certainly by the time he's yours - Michigan will have no winter. This absolutely terrifies me. It terrifies me more than war, more than our growing domestic poverty, more than terrorism. I'm a registered voter, a participant in our democracy, and I want to know what you are doing about this now, today. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. All best, David Erik Nelson THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.breakingnews.ie/World/?jp=CWSNSNGBGBSN&rss=rss2 IF THIS IS FEBRUARY, IT MUST BE KITESTRING DECAPTIATION TIME IN PAKISTAN. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO EXPLAINS: This happens every single year. I imagine that Pakistan has an odd relationship with kites. With all of the death and throat-slashing and injury, they probably don't have the same connotation of childhood innocence like they do here. I imagine that Pakistan feels the same way about kites that Charlie Brown does about footballs. And they return to them for the very same reason. FROM THE ARTICLE AT BREAKING NEWS DOT I-E -- At least 11 people died and more than 100 people were injured at an annual spring festival in eastern Pakistan celebrated with the flying of thousands of colourful kites, officials said today. The deaths and injuries were caused by stray bullets, sharpened kite-strings, electrocution and people falling off rooftops yesterday at the conclusion of the two-day Basant festival, sAID OFFICIALS IN Lahore. http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11243&feedId=online-news_rss20 SEVERAL OF NEW SPECIES OF BATS AND BIRDS HAVE BEEN DIFERENTIAED FROM EXISTING SPECIES THANKS TO A NEW GENETIC TESTING SCHEME. NEW SCIENTIST DOT COM REPORTED ON THE SO-CALLED D-N-A BAR-CODING PROCESS. FROM THE ARTICLE: Only when the animals' DNA had been screened did it become clear that they belonged to distinct species. Researchers scanned the DNA of 643 bird species in North America - some 93 per cent of all species breeding in the region - and 87 bat species in Guyana to test the barcoding approach. RESEARCHERS CLAIM THAT THE CREATION OF A REGISTRY OF EVERY SPECIES ON EARTH IS WITHIN REACH. http://thinkprogress.org/2007/02/26/cnn-libby-juror-exposed-to-outside-info/ GEE, I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE PERJURY TRIAL OF I. LEWIS SCOOTER LIBBY FUCKED UP. NO ONE AT ALL. THINK PROGRESS SAYS LOTS OF PEOPLE THINK THAT THIS WHOLE THING WHERE ONE OF THE JURORS WAS TOSSED OUT BECAUSE SHE HEARD SOME OUTSIDE MEDIA INFORMATION ABOUT THE TRIAL COULD BE SABOTAGE. BUT WHO WOULD HAVE THE MOTIVE TO PERVERT THE COURSE OF JUSTICE ON SUCH A MASSIVE SCALE? WELL, ANYWAY, IT DIDN'T WORK. TRY HARDER, BOYS. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/25/education/25sorority.html?_r=1&oref=slogin THE Delta Zeta SORORITY NATIONAL OFFICE CAME UP WITH TWO RULES TO HELP INCREASE MEMBERSHIP AT ITS HALF-EMPTY CHAPTER AT DEPAW UNIVERSITY IN GREENCASTLE, INDIANA. -- NUMBER ONE, WHITES ONLY. NUMBER TWO, NO FAT CHICKS. THE NEW YORK TIMES REPORTED AT GREAT LENGHTH ON THIS APPALLING STATE OF AFFAIRS, HOLDING DELTA ZETA UP TO SHAME. BY THE WAY, IF YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ANTI-WOMAN, RACIST SORORITY CALLED DELTA ZETA, GOOGLE UP THEIR WEB SITE AND SEND THEM A MESSAGE. IT'S GOOD FOR THE SOUL, I CAN TELL YOU. FROM THE ARTICLE: Delta Zeta’s national officers interviewed 35 DePauw members in November, quizzing them about their dedication to recruitment. They judged 23 of the women insufficiently committed and later told them to vacate the sorority house. The 23 members included every woman who was overweight. They also included the only black, Korean and Vietnamese members. The dozen students allowed to stay were slender and popular with fraternity men — conventionally pretty women the sorority hoped could attract new recruits. Six of the 12 were so infuriated they quit. REMEMBER, FRIENDS, WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING UP THEIR WEB SITE, IT'S SPELLED D-E-L-T-A-SPACE-Z-E-T-A. LET THEM KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK OF RACISTS AND SHALLOW PEOPLE. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: GameCube is dead or not - Gamersledge Daily Podcast Postage costs may go up James Cameron claims to have found the tomb of Jesus Melting antarctic ice reveals weird new animals Iran has a space program Pregnancy is fashionable now among 14-year-olds in england What if video game bosses were *your* boss? Cosplay at the New York Comic Con BBC Omnibus attempts to keep up with Ralph Steadman and Hunter S. Thompson IN 1978 Fox news issued gas masks in Iraq The Last Angry Man makes an excellent point about the weeping judge Civil War #7 Re-dialogued and made awesome and Buick towed, squished OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 5:39 AM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 58 (64 kbps .mp3 9:21 4.3 Mb)) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. A hall pass for Nirvana. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR MONDAY, FEBRUARY TWENY-SIXTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A RAPID-FIRE ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT SINCE FRIDAY . http://www.lawrence.com/news/2007/feb/22/kirkrundstrom/ POOR MOJOS NEWSWIRE CONTIBUTOR JIM MARKS THE PASSING OF WITCHITA KANSAS- BASED MUSICIAN KIRK RUNDSTROM ON THURSADAY OF ESOPHAGEAL CANCER. HE WAS 38. JIM WRITES: Anybody that saw Kirk play with Split Lip Rayfield knows That THE man and the music he made with his friends would leap into you and make colors brighter, girls prettier, and turn cheap beer drunks into nights you'll never forget. I feel bad for the whole world. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6389105.stm EUROPEAN SCIENTISTS ARE WORKING THE BUGS OUT OF EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE ROBOTS, ACCORDING TO B-B-C NEWS. Dr Lola Canamero, CO-COORDINATOR OF THE FEELIX GROWING PROJECT, said the aim was to build robots that "learn from humans and respond in a socially and emotionally appropriate manner". "We are focusing on emotions relevant to a baby robot that has to grow and help humanS with every day life." http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6390755.stm IS ISRAEL IN A STATE OF APARTHEID? THAT'S THE CLAIM MADE BY A UNITED NATIONS ENVOY FROM SOUTH AFRICA WHO HAS STUDIED APARTHEID THERE EXTENSIVELY. John Dugard, THE UN's Special Rapporteur,describes the regime as being designed to dominate and systematically oppress the occupied population, THE PALESTINIANS. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6387611.stm CHIMPANZEES HUNTING WITH SPEARS. THAT'S WHAT RESEARCHERS IN SENEGAL HAVE OBSERVED MORE THAN 20 TIMES, ACCORDING TO A STUDY IN CURRENT BIOLOGY QUOTED BY B-B-C NEWS. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN RECORDED HISTORY, chimps WERE SEEN fashioniNG tools to jab at smaller primates sheltering in cavities of hollow branches or tree trunks. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://rogerailes.blogspot.com/2007_02_18_archive.html#3692907746792256568#3692907746792256568 What kind of fellow would conservative GOP presidential candidate Duncan Hunter hire to chair his campaign in South Carolina? Screw the Buddists and kill the Muslims, Dr. Henry Jordan said during a meeting of THE South Carolina State Board of Education's finance and legislative committee meeting in 1997. "And put that in the minutes," he added. That item dug up by the Roger Ailes blog. http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=07/02/23/1530247 HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVISTS DEMAND THAT THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY SHUT DOWN THE CONCENTRATION CAMP FOR ILLEGAL ALIENS SEEKING ASYLUM WHICH IS HOLDING ENTIRE FAMILIES, INCLUDING INFANTS. THE PRISON IN HUTTO, TEXAS, IS OPERATED BY U-S IMMIGRATION AND CUSTOMS ENFORCEMENT. DEMOCRACY NOW REPORTED THAT THE ONLY GROUPS ALLOWED IN TO OBSERVE THE CAMP -- Women’s Commission for Refugee Women and Children and the Lutheran Immigration and Refugee Service - HAVE PUBLISHED A REPORT CALLED "Locking Up Family Values: The Detention of Immigrant Families.” D-H-S HAS REFUSED TO MAKE ANY COMMENT ABOUT THE CAMP. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17251571/ THE WASHINGTON POST REPORTS THAT SO-CALLED INTERNET ADDICTS IN CHINA MAY FIND TEMSELVES IN MILITARY PRISONS, SUCH AS THE ONE IN DAXING, AWOKEN AT 5:30 A.M. BY A GUARD SCREAMING "THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!" IN THEIR FACES. TREATMENTS INCLUDE STRONG PRESCRIPTION DRUGS AND LOW-LEVEL ELECTRIC SHOCK. NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT GOES ON IN THE CLINIC'S THIRD FLOOR. http://environment.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11250&feedId=online-news_rss20 VOLCABIC LIGHTENING IS A NEWLY DISCOVERED FORM OF ELECTRICAL DISPLAY FOUND AT THE MOUTHS OF ERUPTING VOLCANOES, ACCORDING TO NEW SCIENTIST DOT COM. researchers have shown conclusively that THE new form of low-energy lightning is active during eruptions, arcing between particles as they exit the volcanic vent at around 100 metres per second. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070225/pl_nm/usa_iran_dc SO, WHAT DID SEYMOUR HERSH FIND OUT THIS TIME? IN HIS LATEST NEW YORKER ARTICLE, IT TURNS OUT THAT a Pentagon panel has been created to plan a bombing attack AGAINST IRAN that could be implemented within 24 hours of getting the go-ahead from President George W. Bush. THIS, DESPITE REPEATED CLAIMS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE THAT THERE ARE NO PLANS TO ATACK IRAN. THE PENTAGON PANEL panel initially focused on destroying Iran's nuclear facilities and on regime change but has more recently been directed to identify targets in Iran that may be involved in supplying or aiding militants in IRAQ. http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2007-02-23T192723Z_01_N23279121_RTRIDST_0_OUKOE-UK-NEWYORK-BEAVER.XML&WTmodLoc=SciHealth-R6-MostRead-3 IT'S BEEN MORE THAN 200 YEARS SINCE BEAVER WERE SEEN IN THE ONCE-DEAD BRONX RIVER, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT OBSERVERS SAW RECENTLY. ACCORDING TO REUTERS, Wildlife Conservation Society BIOLOGISTS HAVE NAMED THE BEAVER JOSE, AFTER U.S. Rep. Jose Serrano of the Bronx WHO SECURED $14.6 million n federal funding since 2000 TO CLEAN UP THE RIVER. STILL NO BEAVER SIGHTED IN TIMES SQUARE. http://thinkprogress.org/2007/02/23/tony-blair-reportedly-hired-psychics-to-find-bin-laden/ UK PRIME MINISTER TONY BLAIR REPORTEDLY HIRED PSYCHICS TO FIND OSAMA BIN LADEN AND HIS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, ACCORDING TO THINK PROGRESS. Newly declassified documents revealed that the Ministry of Defense spent 18,000 POUNDS of taxpayers’ money in an experiment “to see if volunteers could ’see’ objects hidden inside an envelope. http://secondlife.reuters.com/stories/2007/02/23/second-life-sketches-please-stop-doing-that-to-the-cat/ FROM REUTERS SECOND LIFE BUREAU CHIEF AND INTERNET JESUS WARREN ELLIS COMES THIS STORY OF VIRTUAL TRESSPASSING AND KINKY SEX. FROM THE ARTICLE: It’s not often you come home to find people having sex in your house.... during the course of the week, I’d spent a couple of hours constructing a simple underground bunker [ON MY NEW LAND], associating sounds with flooring, erecting a blockhouse for a Stargate teleport mechanism and other basic things in order to get a feel for construction.... [LATER THAT WEEKEND] I immediately noticed two pings on the “minimap” radar screen that’s placed in the top left of the Second Life viewer. There were two people on my land. The first thing I saw in the blockhouse was the avatar of a naked man strapped face-down over a piece of sexual apparatus that presented his backside. I then realised that the blockhouse had been filled with dungeon toys. A couple of dozen of them. And, sitting on a chair I didn’t recognise, was a dominatrix with long dark hair, idly waving a riding crop. “Please be quiet,” she said. “We are busy.” “Um, I don’t think so,” I typed. “Go away,” typed the slave. “I not tell you to talk,” the dominatrix tapped out. Feeling more than a little stupid, I explained that they and all their objects had invited themselves on to my land. “We will be done soon. Please be quiet,” typed the domme, whose name was Mastress and who hailed from somewhere in Germany. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED THIS WEEKEND AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: Al Sharpton's Great-Grandfather was Owned by Strom Thurmond's Great-Great-Grandfather College bans Wikipedia as research souce US basically taxes citizens a flat 40% Marvel's "Civil War" in 30 seconds Eddie izzard's "The Riches" to Premiere on FX This Monday at 10 The First Russian Space Dogs AND THEIR DOGGY SPACESUITS Scott Ritter on the Randi Rhodes Show Upside-down rainbow spotted Adventuring in Second Life; or, "yeah, but how do I hit people?" A US combat boot stomping on an Iraqi face forever NYC KFC/Taco Bell has massive rat infestation CompUSA closing half their stores AND Man jailed 17 months for stealing one soda OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD. Posted by Alan at 10:47 PM 0 comments Labels:

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 55 (64 kbps .mp3 10:31 4.8 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Avenging the death of our parents. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY TWENTY-FIRST, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . POOR MOJO'S ALMANAC(K)EDITOR IN CHIEF THE GIANT SQUID PENNED THIS EPISTLE REGARDING FAT TUESDAY SOME YEARS AGO, BUT THE MESSAGE IS STILL TIMELY. http://www.poormojo.org/cgi-bin/gennie.pl?Squid+74+bi This past Yule Time, it seems, Sang acquired a most curious chart. This is a paperboard diptych, mounted vertically (the one paper pane directly above the other.) The upper pane features a depiction of human infants disguised to appear to be various fruits, vegetables and other flora, and the bottom pane consists of a grid. This paper grid tracks the days present in each surface month, and while such a makeshift calendar is quite insufficient (lacking any notations viz. the movements of embracing-cold and treacherous warm currents, migratory patterns of clams or whales, or any real tracking of astral events apart from a simplistic charting of the phases of Earth Moon), it is a nonetheless the sort of quaint folkcraft which seems to brighten the drear of many an office chimp's day. And, while this calendar grid is quite deficient in managing any of the important data of the day-to-day, it does contain a great wealth of information on the spiritual events which do not simply dot or punctuate your year, but quite nearly overrun it altogether, like barnacles about the stubled jaw of a hunchbaked whale. I was unaware that you grunties exist in such an ecstatic state of perpetual religious and civic zeal. It is impressive, indeed. While gazing at the buttercup-themed babies-- or, quite plausibly baby-corpses, for the infants photographed do have a terrible stillness about them-- adorning Sang's day-grid, I happened to note an annual celebration most fascinating: February the Twentieth: Chinese New Years Lincoln's Birthday Mardi Gras. TO READ THE REST, AND LEARN THE SECRET OF THE POONCHSKI, HEAD TO POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE. http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2007/02/indignant_and_illegal_fictions.html FREE SPEECH? WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT MEAN? IT MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS IN DIFFERENT PLACES... IN THE UK, FOR EXAMPLE, THERE'S THE Terrorism Act of 2006. CHARLIE, FROM ANTI POPE DOT COM, WILL EXPLAIN: Among other things, this piece of legislation created several new crimes — including the rather peculiar one of "glorifying terrorism". The proximate justification for this offense seems to be public indignation at the sight of preachers praising suicide bombers in Iraq and Israel from the pulpit, but the effect of it is corrosive — it undermines political free speech. Just consider for a moment the vexing question of who is, or isn't, a terrorist. Is Nelson Mandela? Certainly if this law had been on the books in the 1980s it's possible that supporters of the ANC would have been prosecuted. Is the animal rights movement supportive of terrorists? Is Sinn Fein? Once you get into the gritty business of trying to pin down who is and isn't a terrorist you end up with a peculiar conjugation: "I am a freedom fighter, you are a guerilla, they are terrorists" THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://consumerist.com/consumer/clips/jetblue-announces-passenger-bill-of-rights-238037.php IF YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE JET BLUE SAGA, YOU KNOW THAT NEW YORK CITY'S BUSIEST AIRLINE COLLAPSED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF LAST WEDNESDAY'S SNOW STORMS AND HAD TO CANCEL HUNDREDS OF FLIGHTS ALL WEEKEND TO BECOME FUNCTIONAL AGAIN. DURING THE STORM, PASSENGERS SPENT UP TO ELEVEN HOURS IN ALUMINIUM TUBES THAT SOUNDED LIKE SCREAMING BABIES, SMELLED LIKE URINE AND MOVED NOT AT ALL. IN AN EFFORT TO NOT BECOME DEFUNCT, JET BLUE IS NOW MAKING LOTS OF NOISE ABOUT ITS PASSENGER BILL OF RIGHTS. THE MOST NOTABLE THING ABOUT THE BILL AS FOUND ON CONSUMERIST IS ITS COMPLETE LACK OF SEMBLANCE TO BILLS OF RIGHTS WRITTEN BY ACTUAL PASSENGERS. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO SAYS: On one hand it's great to see JetBlue responding to their eleven-hour fuckup so quickly with this fairly awesome policy. On the other hand, I'm sure they are voluntarily creating a non-binding, quasi-legal "bill of rights" just so Congress doesn't feel the need to create a binding, legal Passenger Bill of Rights to slapP on them. WHAT IS JET BLUE'S BANDAID? The airline announced a new reimbursement program for delayed passengers, retroactive to last Thursday, February 15. • Delays 1-2 hours: $25 off a future flight • Delays 2-4 hours: $50 off a future flight • Delays 6 hours: Free round-trip ticket http://news.yahoo.com/s/pcworld/20070220/tc_pcworld/129126 WINDOWS VISTA's gonna check out all your PROGRAMS for you WINDOWS VISTA won't let anyone dirty get through WINDOWS VISTA's gonna wait up till you get in WINDOWS VISTA will always find out where you've been WINDOWS VISTA's gonna keep baby healthy and clean... EARTH'S MOST ANNOYING O-S HAS A REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING HABIT. P-C WORLD EXPLAINS: We often worry about Microsoft playing Big Brother, but now it's playing Big Mother, attempting to protect you from your own rash impulses to run new software. Try to download a program, and Internet Explorer will block it. ("It's for your own good. You can't be too careful, you know. Who knows where that program has been!") Unblock it, and IE will ask if you really, truly want to download the software. ("These programs can be dangerous, you know. I just don't want you to get hurt.") Once you manage to get the program onto your machine, Windows tosses up its own roadblocks, forcing you to authorize the installer program to run, sometimes as an administrator. ("You're going to have to convince me you really know what you're doing here, young man.") Click through enough dialog boxes, and you'll eventually be running your new software, but you can almost hear Windows grumbling in the background. ("Fine! Ruin your life! But don't say I didn't warn you!") http://thinkprogress.org/2007/02/20/boortz-teachers-terrorists/ POOR MOJO CONTRIBUTOR JIM BRINGS US A TRULY MIND-BLOWING BIT OF RIGHT-WING STUPIDITY, REMARKING THAT : The brave folks at Think Progress watch Sean Hannity so you don't have to do your own puking. HERE IS AN ACTUAL, ON AIR CONVERSATION BETWEEN LYING DOUCHEBAG CHICKEN HAWK SEAN HANNITY AND UTTER PSYCHOPATH NEIL BOORTZ: SEAN HANNITY: Alright, let me ask you. Because, you — when you said about the Department of Education — you want to abolish it — when you said that the teachers unions is more dangerous to this country in the long term – NEAL BOORTZ: In the long term, yeah. HANNITY: Than al Qaeda. BOORTZ: Right. Look, Al Qaeda, they could bring in a nuke into this country and kill 100,000 people with a well-placed nuke somewhere. Ok. We would recover from that. It would be a terrible tragedy, but the teachers unions in this country can destroy a generation. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://thinkprogress.org/2007/02/20/dana-priest-walter-reed/ THIS SERIES AT THE WASHINGTON POST IS INCREDIBLE. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DESCRIBE Dana Priest and Anne Hull'S STORY that Walter Reed hospital, once perceived as the “crown jewel of military medicine,” has become “something else entirely — a holding ground for physically and psychologically damaged outpatients.” THINK PROGRESS DESCRIBES THE SERIES: Priest and Hull snuck in and out of the Walter Reed facilities over the course of four months without the knowledge or permission of hospital officials. They said they wanted to bypass the hospital’s “very well-oiled public relations machine.” Some examples of what they saw: – The “legions” of injured soldiers housed at the facility “take up every available bed on post and spill into dozens of nearby hotels and apartments leased by the Army.” – Building 18 “has been plagued with mold, leaky plumbing and a broken elevator.” – “The wounded manage other wounded. Soldiers dealing with psychological disorders of their own have been put in charge of others at risk of suicide.” – “Disengaged clerks, unqualified platoon sergeants and overworked case managers fumble with simple needs.” JUDY WOODRUFF ON THE P-B-S NEWS HOUR SAID: While receiving treatment at Walter Reed, service members have been housed in buildings, including one with a rodent infestation. Army Specialist Jeremy Duncan can stand in the shower and see through to the room above him. And Army Staff Sergeant Dan Shannon, who lost an eye and sustained brain injury in Iraq, said when he arrived at Walter Reed, he was given a map of the facilities and told to find his room on his own. He says he was often left for weeks without an appointment to see a doctor. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: world's geekiest crossword puzzle - REQUIRES KNOWLEDGE OF Klingon, Elvish, Furbish, AND Esperanto George Takei SPECIAL MESSAGE to Tim Hardaway Happy Pacaki Day! How to: Track down runaway Mac apps Use Badger to neatly package the newsfeeds of your site AND Mother sentenced to two years in jail for throwing a cup of ice OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

uesday, February 20, 2007 Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 54 (64 kbps .mp3 8:59 4.2 Mb) We're the little boy with the chicken. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR TUESDAY, FEBRUARY TWENTIETH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/02/19/MNG3AO7BT11.DTL WE AT POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, AND ESPECIALLY OUR OWN MOJO, WISH TO SAY: Gung hay fat choy! S-F GATE DOT COM WELCOMED IN THE CHINESE YEAR OF THE PIG WITH THE PASSING OF THE LUNAR NEW YEAR THIS WEEKEND. People born this lunar year, or who turn 12, 24 or any multiple of 12, are all pigs and believed to be lucky, especially those born in a "fire pig" year like this one. Pregnancies are up in South Korea and China and among followers of the lunar calendar in the United States trying to bestow more luck on their families. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070219/ap_on_sc/regrowing_fingers IS IT POSSIBLE TO GROW BACK A FINGER AFTER IT IS BLOWN OFF OR BURNED UP? WITH SO MANY WOUNDED RETURNING FROM THE WARS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN, THIS QUESTION IS INCREASINGLY PERTINENT. WIRE SERVICES REPORT THAT EXPERIMENTS WITH EXTRACT OF PIG BLADDER AND OTHER EXOTIC SUBSTANCES SEEK TO GIVE THOSE WHO HAVE LOST MOST OR ALL OF THEIR FINGERS ANOTHER CHANCE AT HOLDING THINGS. SO FAR, There's the guy who sliced off a fingertip but grew it back, after he treated the wound with an extract of pig bladder. And the scientists who grow extra arms on salamanders. And the laboratory mice with the eerie ability to heal themselves. A WOMAN FROM DEVON, IN THE UK, CLAIMS SHE CAUGHT Mesothelioma when SHE WAS SIX, HUGGING HER FATHER WHO CAME HOME FROM WORKING WITH THE CARCINOGEN ASBESTOS. ACCORDING TO B-B-C NEWS THE MINISTRY OF DEFENCE WILL WORK QUICKLY TO BRING A SETTLEMENT OF Debbie Brewer'S SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND POUND CLAIM IF IT IS DETERMINED HER CASE HAS MERIT. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleid=D7C80F75-E7F2-99DF-3F71D9FC07888C4F&chanId=sa017 IS AUTISM GENETIC? SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN ONLINE SAYS RESARCHERS HAVE PINPOINTED TWO GENETIC CULPRITS IN THE LARGEST GENOME SCAN EVER CONDUCTED TO PINPOINT AUTISM. the genomes of 1,168 families WERE COMPARED WITH THOSE OF at least two autism sufferers. IT IS HOPED THAT NEW THERAPIES CAN BE DEVELOPED FROM THE DATA. In the last decade, the diagnosis of autism has increased 10-fold. It's now believed to affect one in 166 children born in the U.S. and four boys for every girl. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070218/sc_nm/asteroid_deflector_dc_5 What if only a ragtag bunch of deep sea oil platform jockeys can save us FROM DEATH BY ASTEROID? ASKS OUR OWN EDITOR MOJO. WIRE SERVICE REPORTS TELL OF HOW an asteroid named Apophis HAS A 1 in 45,000 chance of striking Earth on April 13, 2036. EVEN IF, LIKE ME, YOU EXPECT TO BE SAFELY DEAD BY THEN, YOU WON'T BE HAPPY TO LEARN THAT CALLS FROM CONGRESS FOR NASA TO IMPOVE IT'S ASTEROID TRACKING WILL TELL US WHAT WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW -- THAT THERE ARE POTENTIALLY HUNDREDS -- OR THOUSANDS -- OF NEAR-EARTH OBJECTS READY TO SCREW UP YOUR DAY. http://environment.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11215&feedId=online-news_rss20 DO COUNTRIES LIKE THE UNITED STATES, RUSSIA, OR FRANCE -- THAT HAVE A OFFICIAL OR NEARLY OFFICIAL LANGUAGE WHICH PUSHES OUT ALL OTHERS -- SUFFER FROM A LACK OF FOLK WISDOM ABOUT USEFUL PLANTS AND ANIMALS? WHAT DO WE LOSE WITH EACH LANGUAGE'S DEATH IN THE WAKE OF ENRCOACHING MODERN MASS CULTURE? NEW SCIENTIST ONLINE ASKED linguist and cultural expert David Harrison at Swarthmore College. Information about local ecosystems is so intricately woven into these languages that it cannot be replaced simply through translation, he explains. The indigenous taxonomy alone can provide a huge range of information about species, which young speakers in these tribes acquire instantly through learning the name. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.newswire.poormojo.org/archives/014198.php WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON WITH DAIMLER CHRYSLER? THE AWKWARD MARRIAGE BETWEEN HIGH-END GERMAN ENGINEERING AND PEESASHIT GUTBUCKETS THAT GET YOU TO WORK AND BACK IS UNRAVELING, BUT DAVE-O DISCOVERED DISSONANCE AT THE AUTOMOTIVE DESK OF DETROIT'S NOT WONDERFUL NEWSPAPER, THE FREE PRESS. HE WROTE: Now, February 19, according to the Detroit Free Press, KOREAN CONCERN Hyundai is both rumored to want Chrysler and totally uninterested in Chrysler. Fascinatingly, the two Freep business writers who wrote these articles made their diametrically opposed conclusions based on the same factless, unsourced Times of London article:. Frankly, Detroit, we sound like the auto industry's stilted ex-boyfriend, still mooning over a crumby relationship that went sour years ago. She isn't coming back, fellas. Maybe we need to find another mate to complete us. http://www.rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nypost.com%2Fphp%2Fpfriendly%2Fprint.php%3Furl%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.nypost.com%2Fseven%2F02192007%2Fbusiness%2Fheavenly_deal_business_peter_lauria.htm CAN OPRAH AND HOWARD STERN LIVE TOGETHER? WILL SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO HONCHO MEL KARMASIN HAVE THE PLEASURE OF PUTTING HIS FOOT UP THE ASSES OF OPIE AND ANTHONY, WHOM HE PASSIONATELY HATES? SIRIUS AND ITS ARCH RIVAL, X-M, ARE DEEP IN MERGER TALKS. AT PRESS TIME THE TALK IS STILL ALL TALK, AND THE DEAL MUST PASS REGULATORY MUSTER, BUT IF IT GOES AHEAD, ACCORDING TO THE NEW YORK TIMES, THE PURPORTED MERGER OF EQUALS WILL ACTUALLY BE SIRIUS EATING X-M. IS THERE A WORSE IDEA ON TELEVISION THAN FOX NEWS TRYING TO RIP OFF THE DAILY SHOW? THEY COULD BRING BACK COP ROCK, OR TELEVISE PENILE IMPLANT SURGERY... NO, SORRY, THERE IS NO WORSE IDEA. KUNG FU ROGERS EXPLAINS WHY TALKING POINTS DON'T MAKE THE FUNNY: This is obviously someone who's never worked a real comedy writer's room. For topical runs, you start with "okay, what happened today," and you look at everything. Everything. This is because comedy has maybe a 10% success rate on the pitch, and that's just for joke-like objects, never mind actual functioning funny jokes. To fill a show with a couple dozen funny jokes, you don't have the time or luxury to stick to talking points. http://www.bookninja.com/?p=2290 GOOGLE -- FRESH FROM HELPING THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT CENSOR THE WEB FOR ITS CITIZENS, -- CONTINUES TO DO EVIL IN POLAND, THIS TIME PICKING ON POETS. BOOKNINJA DOT COM SAYS THE Grupa Mlodych Artystow i Literatow,” or Group of Young Artists and Writers — told AFP that Google had turned to the country’s IT and telecommunications tribunal to try to stop them using the Web site address www.gmail.pl. GOOGLE SAYS THEY'RE CYBER SQUATTERS, AND THE POLISH POETS TAKE UMBRIDGE AT THE VERY IDEA. http://www.rawstory.com//news/2007/Columnist_Authoritarianism_can_happen_in_United_0219.html SLATE COLUMNIST JOE CONASON ASKS YOU IF YOU'RE READY FOR AN AUTHORITARIAN AMERICA. IN AN ARTICLE ON RAW STORY, CONASON SAYS IT'S ON THE WAY, COMING CLOSER WITH EACH PRESIDENTIAL SIGNING STATEMENT THAT SUBVERTS THE WILL OF CONGRESS, EACH U-S ATTORNEY REPLACED WITH A POLITICAL HACK WHO WON'T INVESTIGATE GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION, EACH SMEAR OF DISSENTERS. FROM THE ARTICLE: "we do not know the full dimensions of the scandals behind Iraq and Katrina, because the Republican leaders of the Senate and the House of Representatives abdicated the traditional congressional duties of oversight and investigation." CONASON CONTINUES: for the first time since Nixon, Americans have "reason to doubt the future of democracy and the rule of law in our own country."... ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: THE X-K-C-D WEBCOMIC OFFERS WORDS TO LIVE BY - FUCK THAT SHIT! Viceland's fashion: Do's -- The Racism Repairman John McCain tells everyone what they want to hear Killer Korean Cameras White House advisor caught funding terrorist training camps Another great video from Ok-GO Skiing the moon Trailer: The Simpsons Movie Giuliani, in drag, making out with Trump A Nazi toaster? Custom Mii Sculptures of your wii avatar AND Advice on fatherhood from Penny Arcade's Tycho OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 53 (64 kpbs .mp3 8:51 4.2 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Culture for the uncouth. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR MONDAY, FEBRUARY NINETEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/13/AR2007021301371.html?nav=most_emailed_emailafriend LOVE IS A CONSTANT EFFORT, A SIGN OF WEAKNESS, AN ANNOYING WASTE OF TIME, UNATTAINABLE. A national survey of 18-to-29-year-olds by the Pew Research Center reported that almost 60 percent were not in committed relationships and the majority of those were not interested in being committed. ACCORDING TO THE WASHINGTON POST, Absent old-fashioned dating, which has virtually disappeared, the alternative for these young women is hooking up, which can happen in any semi-private place and includes anything from kissing to intercourse. http://www.wlns.com/Global/story.asp?S=6105287&nav=0RbQ JET BLUE, THE AIRLINE THAT STRANDED PASSENGERS IN NEW YORK IN PLANES WITH NO AIR, WATER AND CLOGGED-UP CRAPPERS FOR UP TO 10 HOURS ON WEDNESDAY, CANCELLED ALL FLIGHTS THIS WEEKEND IN AND EFFORT TO FUNCTION PROPERLY AGAIN, ACCORDING TO W-L-N-S DOT COM. http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/02/16/MNGGHO5PU71.DTL POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO POSTED UP AN ARTICLE ABOUT A PASSENGER'S BILL OF RIGHTS THAT HAS BEEN MAKING THE ROUNDS SINCE IT WAS WRITTEN BY ANOTHER ALUMINIUM TUBE FULL OF ENRAGED PASSENGERS MOVING ZERO MILES PER HOUR.... HIS TAKE ON IT: What people are asking for is that airlines not be allowed to hold them indefinitely in a plane. 11 hours without food, water, insulin, baby food, etc. is just plain uncivilized. This is very sensible, but will be very difficult to get passed unless some big name Congressperson takes up the fight. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/02/16/BUGQ8O5J811.DTL MOJO ALSO POSTED UP GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR THE SAN FRANSICO BAY AREA... GOOD NEWS IS, THERE'S A ROBUST ECONOMY EXPECTED ANY TIME NOW... ACCORDING TO S-F GATE DOT COM, A PALO ALTO RESEARCH GROUP PREDICTS the region will add about 700,000 jobs, 850,000 residents and 400,000 households from 2005 to 2015. THE BAD NEWS -- HOUSING WILL BE TIGHT, BUT AGING BABY BOOMERS MAY HELP SOLVE SOME OF THAT PROBLEM BY MOVING INTO SMALLER QUARTERS IN MORE HIGH-DENSITY AREAS. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070216/ap_on_re_us/winter_weather DUMB-ASSED OFFICIALS IN PENNSYLVANIA CONTINUED TO LET CARS ENTER INTERSTATE 78 FOR MORE THAN A DAY AFTER IT BECAME IMPASSABLE DUE TO SNOW AND ICE THIS PAST WEEK. WIRE SERVICES REPORTED THAT GOVERNOR ED RENDELL FELL ON HIS SWORD AND CITED AN ALMOST TOTAL BREAKDOWN IN COMMUNICATION BETWEEN STATE AGENCIES FOR PENNSYLVANIA'S DUMB-ASSEDNESS. http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/02/15/BAG6RO4VDQ1.DTL HOW DO TEENS FEEL AFTER SEX? LIKE ROLLING OVER AND GOING TO SLEEP? LIKE GETTING A PIZZA? LIKE WRITING BAD POETRY? LIKE CHEAP WHORES? A UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SURVEY CITED IN S-F GATE DOT COM FOUND Of the 618 students Followed from their freshman year OF HIGH SCHOOL, 44 percent reported having intercourse or oral sex by the end of 10th grade. A majority said they enjoyed sex, ESPECIALLY ORAL SEX, BUT FOUND THAT IT DID NOT PROVIDE THE INTMACY THEY CRAVED. Forty-one percent said they felt bad about themselves later, nearly 20 percent felt guilty, and 25 percent felt used. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/6371901.stm A DUCK WITH FOUR FEET IS THRIVING IN HAMPSIRE, ENGLAND, ACCORDING THE B-B-C. A rare mutation has left eight-day-old Stumpy with two extra legs behind the two he moves around on. http://thinkprogress.org/2007/02/17/bush-bypass-congress/ EVER WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF THE U-S WAS RUN BY A DICTATOR? CONSERVATIVES MIGHT ARGUE THAT ALREADY HAPPENED ONCE, WHEN F-D-R WAS PACKING THE SUPREME COURT AND DECLARING EMERGENCIES RIGHT AND LEFT. WELL, THE HISTORICAL FLIP-FLOP MAY BE ON THE OTHER FOOT, AS THINK PROGRESS DESCRIBED THE THOUGHT PROCESSES OF SOME IN THE BUSH WHITE HOUSE CONSIDERING BY-PASSIGN CONGRESS ALTOGETHER, AND RUNNING THE UNITED STATES VIA EXECUTIVE ORDERS. One proposal that fiscal conservatives are pushing is to halve all capital-gains taxes, as a way to encourage investment and job creation. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070214/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush;_ylt=AuROBgXn2rtkeGJzr1EUMeqs0NUE WILL WE GO TO WAR WITH IRAN? WELL, YOUR PRESIDENT IS DEMANDING IT, ACCORDING TO WIRE SERVICE REPORTS. REPORTERS CALLED BULLSHIT FRIDAY ON REPORTS IRAN IS SUPPLYING HUM-VEE MELTING ORDINANCE TO IT'S SWORN SHIA ENEMIES, BUT BUSH POO-POOED THIER SKEPTICISM AND PROMISED TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL WITH THE DEMOCRATICALLY- CONTROLLED HOUSE TO OPEN HIS THIRD FRONT. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6370847.stm SPEAKING OF THOSE PESKY TRAITORS, ON FRIDAY Seventeen RepublicanS joined the Democrats in passing the non-binding motion 246 to 182 CRITICIZING BUSH'S PLAN TO INCREASE TROOP STRENGTHIN IRAQ BY BETWEEN 19,000 AND 40,000 TROOPS DEPENDING ON WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE TRYING TO FOOL PEOPLE. THE SENATE STAYED OPEN FOR A RARE SATURDAY SESSION TO ACT UPON THE HOUSE MEASURE. HOWEVER, ONLY 56 OF THE REQUIRED 60 SENATORS VOTED YES, ACCORDING TO B=B=C NEWS. http://www.guardian.co.uk/china/story/0,,2012697,00.html THE GUARDIAN UNLMITED REPORTS THAT LOCAL CHINESE AUTHORITIES IN THE COUNTRY'S SOUTH WEST HAVE PAINTED THE SIDE OF THE Laoshou MOUNTAIN GREEN. NO ON WILL OFFICIALY ADMIT AS TO WHY, BUT VILLAGERS NEARBY THINK IT'S GOT SOMETHING TO DO WITH FENG SHUI, the ancient Chinese belief of harmonising the physical environment for maximum health and financial benefit. http://secondlife.reuters.com/stories/2007/02/16/second-life-sketches-news-from-nowhere/ INTERNET JESUS AND NATURAL HIGH WARREN ELLIS SPENT SOME TIME RELATING TO US WHO DON'T DO THE SECOND LIFE THING WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DO ONLINE DRUGS. FROM REUTERS SECOND LIFE BUREAU: Digital drug simulations have been around almost as long as the Internet. They all work in much the same way, and have been adapted for remote sex work by an apparently booming business of “hypnodomme” erotic submission specialists: compound audiovisual systems intended to induce a mild trance in the uninterrupted viewer. I think it was Ash Scanlan who shot me the landmark to the Seclimine Drug Shack, saying “you really need to see this.” It looks like a well-kept squat. A couple of nasty-looking sofas, a big image of ex-Suicide Girl Apnea dominating one wall. And a rack of pill bottles. Popping the notecard out of the nearest bottle gives you an explanation of the score. The drug Seclimine is designed to get you and your avatar stoned. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED THIS WEEKEND AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: mark Morford has been cured! He is now a Republican! Bionic eyes to be available within two years Chrysler Up For Sale Again The Cold War is heating up Super-lethal tropical fungus thriving in Vancouver The stripmining of Ann Arbor -- Pfizer's enormous bribes and threats to get employees to move to St. Louis Jon Stewart on the drums of war that beat for Iran The United States' new concentration camp for muslims Powerful Texas lawmaker circulates memo claiming that evolution is a Jewish hoax, AND IN A RELATED STORY, A Shanda fur die Goyim GM rumored to be thinking of buying Chrysler Man wrestles shark, blames vodka Airplane windshields cracking mid-flight South Pacificers Await the Return of Magical White Man Despite Disapproval of Other Villagers Holding Out for Different Magical White Man AND The Daily Show: Scalia is a huge dick OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 52 (64 kpbs .mp3 9:11 4.2 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Fun Fact: Professor Leon Theremin died while attempting to remove his own appendix IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR FRIDAY, FEBRUARY SIXTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/02/15/national/a071642S85.DTL IF YOU'VE BEEN ON A THREE-DAY DRUNK YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD THAT YOU NEED TO THROW OUT ALL YOUR PEANUT BUTTER. THEN, GO TO YOUR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE AND THROW OUT HIS PEANUT BUTTER. BREAK INTO EVERY HOUSE ON THE STREET, BUILD A PYRAMID OF PEANUT BUTTER JARS IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR DRIVEWAY, DOUSE IT IN GASOLINE AND SET IT ALIGHT. BEACUSE IT'S GOT SALMONELLA. IN IT. NOT ALL OF IT, ACTUALLY, JUST THE CON-AGRA MANUFACTURED JIFFY AND GREAT VALUE PEANUT BUTTER WITH A LID NUMBER STARTING IN 2-1-1-1. BUT THAT'S A LOT TO REMEMBER, SO JUMP CUSTOMERS AT RANDOM ON THEIR WAY OUT OF KROGERS AND GET THAT GODDAMN DEADLY PEANUT BUTTER OUT OF THEIR HANDS BEFORE THEY KILL SOMEONE. AND IF YOU MUST EAT PEANUT BUTTER, MAKE IT ORGANIC. http://www.poormojo.org/cgi-bin/gennie.pl?Squid AND NOW, ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN FROM POOR MOJO'S OWN THE GIANT SQUID. TODAY'S QUESTION Dear Giant Squid, I was wondering why throw up smells so bad. Why does it have to have this odor. Couldn't it smell a little better. What do you think? Signed, Jonnie Twobags Here is a preview of his answer. Dear Jonnie Two Bags, As I write this it is the day of Saint Valentine, named for the patron saint martyred via electro-chair after he slew a crowd of cupids in the ancient Grecian city-state of Chi Cago. It is also the day of Lupercalia, known to some as the Day of the Amorous Wolf. Warren Ellis, Chief Propagandist for the Internets, has taken to calling this the day of the Horny Werewolf. As ever, his reasoning is obscure, but propitious: In ancient times those beset by Love would flee through the dusty streets of Rome, driven before men wearing wolf masks and bearing scourges. The masked men -- symbolic of the lunar-locked wolfish demi-men, who founded Rome-Upon-the-Hills -- would whipcrack upon the Love-struck, tearing their amorous backs to tatters. If their Love survived the onslaught, then it was true and blessed -- although, until the lacerations healed, it was awkward, and generally insisted on "standing quickies" or the "modele du chien" rather than the posture of the missionary saints. If their Love failed the test and fled from the whip-flurried streets, then it was but a fleeting fancy, and unfit to be called Love. "Let it live out its days alone in the hills beyond our Hills," the Romans would say, "Let it masturbate in the dust and dirt, among the thorned bushes, lubricated only with its own pitiful tears. It is not worthy of lycant hropic cupidites such as we." TO HEAR THE REST, GO TO POOR MOJO DOT ORG. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://environment.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11190&feedId=online-news_rss20 The EARTH'S hum is a low rumble continually present in the ground even when there are no earthquakes happening, but is detectable only by very sensitive seismometers. Its frequency is near 10 millihertz, below the range of human hearing, ACCORDING TO NEW SCIENTIST. WHAT'S CAUSING IT? JAPANESE RESEARCHERS SAID IT WAS THE WIND POUNDING THE EARTH'S SURFACE, BUT AN AMERICAN SCIENTIST HAS DETERMINED THE HUM COMES FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA. http://www.azstarnet.com/business/169072 POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO SAYS THAT IF BANK OF AMERICA WANTS TO EXTEND CREDIT TO ILLEGAL ALIENS, WHY THE HELL NOT? Their money spends just as well as everyone else's. USED TO be you had TO HAVE A SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND A CREDIT HISTORY TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT... OFFICIALS AT THE BANK WILL REVIEW APPLICANT'S QUALIFICATIONS RATHER THAN RELY ON CREDIT HISTORIES. THE NEW PROCESS WAS TRIED OUT IN 51 BANK OF AMERICA BRANCHES IN LOS ANGELES. http://feministing.com/archives/006536.html THE FEMINISTING BLOG REPORTS ON TENNESSEE LEGISLATOR'S PLANS TO REQUIRE THAT ABORTIONS RECEIVE DEATH CERTIFICATES, MAKING THE PERSONAL INFORMATION OF THE WOMEN WHO ABORT THEM PART OF THE PUBLIC RECORD. FROM THE ARTICLE: The thing is, the number of abortions performed is already reported to the state’s Office of Vital Records. So the only purpose of this bill is to identify women having abortions—it would even include their social security numbers! House Judiciary Chairman Rob Briley called this "the most preposterous bill I've seen." No fucking joke. THE BILL'S SPONSOR DOES NOT EXPECT IT TO SURVIVE THE DEMOCRATICLY CONTROLLED STATE SENATE. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.boingboing.net/2007/02/14/gizmodo_emeritus_rip.html AND NOW VIA BOING-BOING, A WORD FROM GADGET SITE GIZMODO'S EMERITUS BLOGGER Joel Johnson ON THE STUPIDITY OF BEING A BLEEDING EDGE EARLY ADOPTER: And you guys just ate it up. Kept buying shitty phones and broken media devices green and dripping with DRM. You broke the site, clogging up the pipe like retarded salmon, to read the latest announcements of the most trivial jerk-off products, completely ignoring the stories about technology actually making a difference to real human beings, because you wanted a new chromed robot turd to put in your pocket to impress your friends and make you forget for just a few minutes, blood coursing as you tremblingly cut through the blister pack, that your life is utterly void of any lasting purpose... Stop buying this crap. Just stop it. You don't need it. Wait a year until the reviews come out and the other suckers too addicted to having the very latest and greatest buy it, put up a review, and have moved on to something else. Stop buying broken products and then shrugging your shoulders when it doesn't do what it is supposed to. Stop buying products that serve any other master than you. Use older stuff that works. Make it yourself. Only buy new stuff from companies that have proven themselves good servants of their customers in the past. Complaining online about this stuff helps, but really, just stop buying it... http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/02/15/MNG52O50LO1.DTL OUT OF TWENTY-ONE WEALTHY NATIONS, THE UNITED STATES AND GREAT BRITIAN ARE THE WORST --- IF YOU'RE A CHILD. FROM THE S-F GATE DOT COM ARTICLE ABOUT THE UINCEF STUDY OF TWENTY-ONE WEALTHY NATIONS. The Netherlands was the best, it said, followed by Sweden and Denmark. The Czech Republic ranked above countries with a higher per capita income, such as Austria, France, the United States and Britain, in part because of a more equal distribution of wealth and higher relative investment in education and public health. UNICEF's Innocenti Research Centre in Italy ranked the countries in material well-being, health, education, relationships, behaviors and risks, and young people's sense of happiness. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: The St. Valentine's Day Pillowfight Massacre 'I hate gay people,' cries washed-up basketball player The Daily Show on diplomacy with North Korea Painfully unfunny. With canned laughter. You have to see it to believe it. A preview of Fox's new satire news show Colbert tells Australia just what he thinks of it An Inflatable powered exo-suit that weighs only four punds RFID powder - all kNids of creepy $6M in Cocaine Found in TV Sets Dancing on a pool of non-Newtonian liquids AND 30 minutes of cartoon openings from the 80's OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE ON BEHALF OF LONGO, BRETT, JIM, DAVE-O, FRITZ, THE GIANT SQUID AND MOJO, THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 50 (64 kpbs .mp3 8:23 3.8 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. We pay in beer. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR THURSDAY, FEBRUARY FIFTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://freecomicbookday.com/sponsors.asp FREE COMIC BOOK DAY IS MAY FIFTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN! WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS ON FEBRUARY FIFTEENTH? This was suggested on one of the press releases read on the Around Comics podcast and it seems a fine idea... GO TO FREE COMIC BOOK DAY DOT COM AND peruse the list of free comics on offer. SOME OF THEM ARE SENT TO EVERY PARTICIPATING STORE, AND OTHERS ARE ONLY SENT IF SPECIFCALLY ORDERED. if you see something you want IN THE LIST ONLINE, asK YOUR COMIC BOOK STORE for it NOW, when your store is ordering. Increases your chances of getting a COMIC YOU WANT. AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE, BUY SOMETHING! http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6357005.stm WE ARE ALL ABOUT SQUIDS HERE AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE, AND NOT BECAUSE THEY TASTE GOOD. IN ONE CAPACITY OR OTHER, WE ALL TOIL IN THE SERVICE OF THE GIANT SQUID, WHOM YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW BETTER AT THE MAIN PART OF THE SITE, POORMOJO.ORG . MR. SQUID IS AN ADVICE COLUMNIST, ADVENTURER, AND ONCE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL. ALL THAT TO SAY THAT OUR OWN EDITOR, MOJO, WILL NOT PASS UP POSTING A SQUID STORY WHEN ONE PRESENTS ITSELF. B-B-C NEWS REPORTS RESEARCHERS HAVE DICOVERED A DEEP-SEA SQUID IN THE PACIFIC THAT DISABLES ITS PREY WITH LASER BEAMS THAT SHOOT OUT OF ITS BODY! WELL, Okay, so not lasers per se, but really flashes of light. It's still cool. FROM THE ARTICLE: THE Big deep-sea squid emit blinding flashes of light as they attack their prey... Japanese scientists believe the creatures use the bright flashes to disorientate potential victims. Writing in a Royal Society journal, they say the squid are far from the sluggish, inactive beasts once thought. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://cbs11tv.com/topstories/topstories_story_045143506.html REMEMBER ON FRIDAY, THE FAIRLY SHOCKING NEWS THAT IRV LEWIS "SCOOTER" LIBBY AND VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY WOULD NOT, AS THEY APPARENTLY HAD PROMISED U.S. District Judge Reggie B. Walton AND SPECIAL PROSECUTOR PATRICK FITZGERALD, TESTIFY AT LIBBY'S FEDERAL PERJURY TRIAL? WELL, OKAY, THE SMART MONEY WAS ON THEM NOT TESTIFYING, AS THEY WOULD HAVE HAD EITHER TO LIE OR TAKE THE FIFTH. TURNS OUT, THOUGH, THAT STIFFING the JUDGE WAS ANYTHING BUT SMART. ACCORDING TO WIRE SERVICE REPORTS, JUDGE WALTON REFUSED TO PERMIT LIBBY'S ATTORNEYS TO SUBMIT CLASSIFIED EVIDENCE THAT LIBBY WAS SO CONSUMED WITH IMPORTANT STUFF THAT HE FORGOT THAT CHENEY TOLD HIM THAT VALERY PLAME WAS AN UNDERCOVER NON-OFFICIAL COVER C-I-A AGENT. THAT'S WHY, ACCORDING TO HIM, THE FIRST TIME HE REMEMBERED HEARING THAT WAS FROM NBC NEWS WASHINGTON BUREAU CHIEF TIM RUSSERT. RUSSERT SPENT EIGHT HOURS ON THE STAND LAST WEEK REPEATING OVER AND OVER THAT THIS WAS STONE BULLSHIT. WITHOUT THE IMPRESSIVE CLASSIFIED STUFF THE JUDGE REFUSED TO HEAR, LIBBY'S CASE APPEARS PRETTY SHAKEY, AND WALTON IS FURIOUS. HE'S STAKED HIS REPUTATION ON HIS CALL TO STIFF LIBBY, SAYING IN RESPONSE TO LIBBY'S ATTORNEY'S PROMISE TO APPEAL: "If that's what the Supreme Court is going to say (in any ruling on an appeal), they might as well say the government's not entitled to a fair trial and the defendant is," Walton said. "I think both sides are entitled to a fair trial. If I get reversed on that, maybe I need to hang up my spurs." YOU Don't piss off a judge. YOU just don't. Now maybe that slimy shit LIBBY and his puppetmaster Cheney can develop the habit of NOT LYING. http://www.startribune.com/587/story/1002244.html COMEDIAN AND RADIO HOST AL FRANKEN QUIT HIS AIR AMERICA GIG WEDNESDAY AND ANNOUNCED HIS RUN FOR U-S SENATOR, aiming FOR PAUL WELLSTONE'S OLD SEAT IN MINNESOTA. IN A STATEMENT, HE ASKED VOTERS TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY AND PROMISED TO WORK TO INCREASE COLLEGE AID AND PROTECT SOCIAL SECURITY. LET'S HOPE HE STAYS OUT OF PRIVATE PLANES. http://freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070214/BUSINESS01/70214029 SPEAKING OF THE FRIGID MIDWEST, LIFE IN MICHIGAN JUST GOT AN EENTSY BIT MORE SHITTY WITH DAIMLER-CHRYSLER'S PLAN TO CUT 13,000 JOBS, NINE THOUSAND OF THOSE IN THE U-S, HALF OF THEM BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. WITH PUNDITS FIGURING THAT THE STATE IS MERE MONTHS AWAY FROM GOVERNMENTAL COLLAPSE FROM LACK OF FUNDING, IT CONTINUES TO HEMMORAGE HIGH-PAYING JOBS AND RESULTING INCOME AND SALES TAXES. THE DETROIT FREE PRESS REPORTS The Auburn Hills-based automaker, which reported an operating loss of $1.5 billion Wednesday, INTENDS TO RETURN TO PROFITABILTY IN 2008 THANKS TO JOB CUTS. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.internetnews.com/xSP/article.php/3659401 THE MAGIC MOVIE MACHINE THAT IS YOU TUBE HAS HIT A BRICK WALL CALLED THE REAL WORLD. DAYS AFTER VIACOM FORCED THE GOOGLE-OWNED SITE TO REMOVE MORE THAN 100,000 OF ITS VIDEOS COMES NEWS REPORTED AT INTERNEWS DOT COM THAT CRIMINAL CHARGES WILL BE FILED AGAINST the YOU TUBE USER WHO UPLOADED EPISODES OF 24 BEFORE THEY WERE AIRED. ALONG WITH ANOTHER SITE, LIVE DIGITAL, YOU TUBE WILL TURN over USER ACCOUNT INFORMATION IN RESPONSE TO SUBPOENAS FILED BY TWENTIETH-CENTRURY FOX IN U-S DISTRICT COURT. http://editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003545478&imw=Y IS IT TREASONOUS TO QUESTION THE OCCUPATION OF IRAQ? WHAT WOULD ABRAHAM LINCOLN THINK? ACCORDING TO EDITOR AND PUBLISHER, WASHINGTON TIMES COLUMNIST Frank Gaffney, Jr. AND MORE THAN A FEW OTHER CONSERVATIVE WRITERS HAVE USED TO THIS LINCOLN QUOTE: "Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged." STRONG LANGUAGE FROM THE MAN WHO SAVED THE UNION. ONE PROBLEM: IT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT. LINCOLN NEVER SAID IT. BROOKS JACKSON AT FACT CHECK DOT ORG DISCOVERED THAT The conservative author who touched off the misquotation frenzy, J. Michael Waller, concedes that the words are his, not Lincoln's. A MISTAKE IN EDITING PUT LINCOLN'S QUOTATION MARKS AROUND WALLERS WORDS. THAT FACT DOESN'T PREVENT THE MISQUOTE FROM APPEARING IN AT LEAST 18,000 SEARCH RESULTS. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: COMMERCIAL QUANTUM COMPUTER COMPLETED! BUT... Quantum (K)omputer claims ARE often overstated Mark Morford's handy guide to the penis Batman forces school closure' San Francisco to offer free bieks for everyone The Chinese Space Potato Blu-Ray and HD-DVD encryption cracked Bush: "Money trumps peace" Mexican drug gangs attacking each other through YouTube The Daily Show on Douglas Feith's Huge Balls Could that cell phone photo of me blowing that guy hurt my future in politics? You don't need a weatherman to know the value of a brand name - THE RETURN OF STUDENTs FOR A DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY AND Slate Podcast - Which Dem does Hollywood love? OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 50 (64 kpbs .mp3 9:43 4.6 Mb) Throwing stones at Snoopy. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY FORTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://thinkprogress.org/2007/02/13/issa-contractors/ Republican Representative Darrell Issa asked a pretty screwed-up question at a hearing last week, according to the Think Progress blog. It was the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee investigation into why mercenary supplier and contractor Blackwater USA stonewalled the mothers and widows of their employees who got themselves killed, burnt, dragged through the streets and hung from a bridge in Fallujah, Iraq in 2004. The relatives read a prepared statement, as everyone does who speaks before a congressional hearing. They think Blackwater is trying to cover up its own wrongdoing in the mercs deaths. So this Darrell Issa character pipes up. He asks the ladies as soon as they've finished their statement, "I don’t think your testimony today is particularly germane to the oversight of this committee.” He added, “One question I have is, the opening statement, who wrote it?” Think progress reported the mercs relatives said it was a compilation of the four of them touched up by their attorney. Issa's colleages thought his question was, to put it more bluntly than they could, fucked up. What does he have to gain from jacking around grieving mothers and widows? On the committee, Illinois Democrat Jan Schakowsky defended the ladies, saying: “I think clearly the implication was that somehow these wonderful women couldn’t possibly have written that wonderful, heartfelt testimony and that it took a lawyer in order to put it together, and I resent that very much.” Another congressman on the panel was more direct: Stephen Lynch of Massachussetts observed, “I’ve only sat through several hundred, maybe 1,000 hearings, and that is the first time as a member of Congress that I have heard any witnesses asked who wrote their opening statements.” Who is this jackass Darrell Issa? Well, conservative columnist Debbie Schlussel has a lot to say about him. Now, I think Debbie is a painfully awful conservative screecher, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. In one column at political U-S-A DOT COM entitled Darrell Issa: Traitor, or useful idiot?, Schlussel details the represenative's long-time defense of and praise for the the terrorist group Hezbollah - "I have a great deal of sympathy for the work that Hezbollah tries to do," she quotes Issa saying, one imagines referring to WHEN THEY BLEW UP 241 MARINES IN BERIUT IN THE EARLY 80'S. IN ANOTHER SCHLUSSEL COLUMN IN WORLD NET DAILY, WE GET THIS: A multi-millionaire car-alarm magnate who bought his election, Darrell built a long, solid record of dishonesty,...His "rise to wealth had been accompanied by questionable events," the Washington Post reported. In his youth, he stole cars for a living, culminating in a 1972 grand jury indictment for car theft. A damning 1998 Los Angeles Times article reported that Issa allegedly threatened a former business partner at gunpoint and that arson was suspected in a mysterious 1982 fire at Issa's well-insured Ohio plant. Issa practically admitted holding his associate at gunpoint. "Shots were never fired," he said as justification in the San Francisco Examiner. Okay, so that's the kind of jackass we have in cute, cuddly Darrell Issa -- the guy who speNT TWO MILILION DOLLARS TO GET CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR GREY DAVIS RECALLED SO HE COULD RUN, ONLY TO COME IN DEAD LAST IN THE PRIMARY, ACED OUT BY AN AGING ACTION-MOVIE ACTOR FROM AUSTRIA. ISSA'S RESPONSE? TO WEEP OPENLY IN PUBLIC LIKE A SPOILED CHILD. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070213/ap_on_re_as/koreas_nuclear POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW EDITOR MOJO CELEBRATES THE NEW SIX-COUNTRY AGREEMENT THAT HAS NORTH KOREA PROMISING TO DISMATLE ITS NUCLEAR PROGRAM. HE SAID We're giving them eight years of free oil--enough to run the country--in exchange. And by "we" I mean the U.S., Japan, China and Russia. THE AGREEMENT COMES AFTER THE WEIRD, ISOLATED LITTLE COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP DETONATED ITS FIRST NUCLEAR BOMB IN NOVEMBER. THERE'S TALK OF JAPAN AND THE U-S NORMALIZING RELATIONS, AND OUR STATE DEPARTMENT AND WHITE HOUSE ARE PLEASED WITH THEMSELVES, WIRE SERVICES REPORT. http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/02/former_ambassad.html GUESS WHO ISN'T SMILING? THAT WOULD BE OUR FORMER UN-CONFIRMED U-N AMBASSADOR, BULLY AND NEOCONSERVATIVE CONSPIRATOR TO START A PRE-EMPTIVE WAR IN IRAQ, JOHN BOLTON, ACCORDING TO THE U-S-A TODAY BLOG. OLD YELLER -- WHO ONLY TOOK THE JOB OF U-N AMBASSADOR SO HE COULD DISMANTLE THE U-N -- WHO WAS SO POORLY RESPECTED THAT WHEN HE TOOK UP THE ROTATING CHAIRMANSHIP OF THE U-N SECURITY COUNCIL THE OTHER MEMBERS BLEW OFF HIS FIRST MEETING -- WHO WAS SUCH A DISGUSTING CHOICE FOR THE JOB EVEN THE MINDLESS RUBBERSTAMP REPUBLICAN ZOMBIE SENATE COULDN'T HOLD ITS NOSE HARD ENOUGH TO CONFIRM HIM -- IS BESIDE HIMSELF AT THE IDEA OF ...WELL... DIPLOMACY. BOLTON CALLED THE NORTH KOREAN AGREEMENT "a charade, a hollow agreement" and SAID IT "might lead to an increased chance of war on the Korean peninsula," ... "It covers only a very narrow aspect of North Korea's nuclear program ... rewards bad behavior ... (and) is everything the administration criticized in President Clinton's 1994 framework." BUT THE FUNNY THING IS, JOHN...NOBODY ASKED YOUR SORRY, EX-AMBASSADOR ASS. http://www.rawstory.com/news/2007/Cheney_wont_testify_in_Libby_trial_0213.html RAW STORY REPORTED THAT ATTORNEYS FOR IRV LEWIS "SCOOTER" LIBBY DECIDED TO NOT HAVE LIBBY NOR HIS PUPPETMASTER, VICE-PRESIDET DICK "SHOOTER" CHENEY TESTIFY AT LIBBY'S PERJURY TRIAL. IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, Either they figured that lying on the stand UNDER OATH was too risky, or that taking the Fifth would be too damaging (that's what I was pulling for). LIBBY IS ACCUSED OF LYING EVERY SINGLE TIME HE OPENS HIS MOUTH, ESPECIALLY WHEN DENYING THAT HE SPREAD THE WORD THAT VALERIE PLAME WAS A C-I-A NON-OFFICIAL COVER UNDERCOVER AGENT. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=435523&in_page_id=1766&ito=1490 AN ENGLISH TEACHER AT A CHURCH SCHOOL IN THE LANCASHIRE TOWN OF Accrington ENGLAND HAS ONLY NOW FIGURED OUT THAT WRITING EROTIC FICTION ABOUT STUDENTS DOING DRUGS AND HAVING DRUGGED VAMPIRE SEX MIGHT NOT BE AN ASTUTE CAREER MOVE. ACCORDING TO THE DAILY MAIL ARTICLE, Gabriele Caccini, WRITING under the pen name Paigan Stone, RAN A WEB SITE CHOCK FULL OF "adult content with vampire eroticism, violence and blood lust". PARENTS HAVE EXPRESSED COCERN. OUR OWN MOJO SAYS: The best part of this story ONLINE is the reader comments after it, wherein the readers react with surprise and alarm . . . . that the school would care what kind of fiction the teacher writes in spare time. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/02/12/BAGV4O3F8R4.DTL SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE MALTESE FALCON -- AGAIN! S-F GATE DOT COM REPORTS THAT A COPY OF THE FAMOUS BIRD STATUE WAS SWIPED FROM A LOCKED CABINET, ALONG WITH SEVERAL BOOKS BY AND ABOUT AUTHOR DASHIEL HAMMETT. The black statue was signed by actor Elisha Cook Jr., a San Franciscan who played the role of Wilmer the Gunsel in the movie. http://space.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11172&feedId=online-news_rss20 NEW SCIENTIST DOT COM TELLS US OF A SATELLITE THAT WILL ATTEMPT TO DISCOVER ALTERNATIVE DIMENSIONS RESULTING FROM THE AFTERGLOW OF THE BIG BANG. THE OBSERVATIONS COULD GO A LONG WAY TOWARD SUPPORTING STRING THEORY, THE LATEST UNIFYING SO-CALLED THEORY OF EVERYTHING. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN PHYSICISTS SAY THE EXTRA DIMENSIONS MIGHT LEAVE A MARK ON THE UNIVERSE'S COSMIC MICROWAVE BACKGROUND, CREATED 370,000 YEARS AFTER THE BIG BANG. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: Colbert's Word of the Day: Inappropriate Isaac Asimov on the "Reagan Doctrine" CNN keeps attacking atheists The Prometheus Plume of Io AND The pickup lines from Oblivion OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Needlessly confrontational. IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR TUESDAY, FEBRUARY THIRTEENTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN. A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-intel12feb12,0,1642172.story?coll=la-home-headlines How could anyone have the balls to say that manufacturing false foreign intelligence and lying about it was good government?! YET, SOMEHOW, FORMER UNDERSECRETARY FOR DEFENSE DOUGLAS FEITH, MUSTERS UP THE BALLS TO SAY JUST THAT, ACCORDING TO THE L-A TIMES. FEITH CALLED THE CHERRY-PICKING OF INTELLIGENCE ABOUT IRAQ'S NON-EXISTANT WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRCUTION "HEALTHY" -- AS IN, I'T'S HEALTHY TO CRITICIZE CIA INTELLIGENCE." LAST TIME I CHECKED, "CRITICIZE" HAD A DIFFERENT MEANTING THAN "DISTORT." SPINNING LIKE MAD ON FOX NEWS SUNDAY, FEITH -- NOW A GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR -- SAID: "Nobody in my office ever said there was an operational relationship between Iraq and Al Qaeda." CRITICS IMMEDIATELY CALLED BULLSHIT. Larry C. Johnson, a former State Department and CIA counterterrorism official SAID IN AN INTERVIEW SUNDAY: "It's an abject lie, and it completely ignores what is in the documented public record," "I think the problem is across the board that we have convenient memory loss. No one wants to go back and hold people accountable to what they were doing." LIKE LYING US INTO A WAR OF AGGRESSION. FUN FACT NUMBER ONE -- NEOCONSERVATIVE FEITH HAS A DUAL MEMBERSHIP IN THE PROJECT FOR A NEW AMERICAN CENTURY COMMITTEE AND THE ZIONIST ORGANIZATION OF AMERICA, ACCORDING TO REPORTER DOUG IRELAND. FUN FACT NUMBER TWO: FEITH'S SUBORDINATE AT THE PENTAGON -- LAWRENCE FRANKLIN -- WAS SENTENCED TO THIRTEEN YEARS IN PRISION IN JANUARY FOR PASSING DOCUMENTS TO THE AMERICAN ISRAEL PUBLIC AFFAIRS COMMITTEE WHICH THEY IMMEDIATELY FORWARED TO ISRAEL. http://www.juancole.com/2007/02/nyt-falls-for-bogus-iran-weapons.html WE MENTIONED A JUAN COLE ARTICLE YESTERDAY. UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN PROFESSOR COLE ACCUSED THE NEW YORK TIMES OF LYING RECENTLY ABOUT IRAN'S ROLE IN IRAQ ON HIS INFORMED COMMENT BLOG. THE TIMES SAID IRAN SUPPLIES THE HIGH-EXPLOSIVE MORTARS WHICH HAVE REPLACED IMPROVIZED EXPLOSIVE DEVICES AS THE PREFERRED WEAPON AGAINST U-S HUM-VEES. THE TIMES SAID IRAN WAS THEREBY RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMETHING JUST UNDER TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT OF ALL U-S CAUALTIES IN IRAQ IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS. COLE CALLS BULLSHIT, BECAUSE HE READS THE DAILY CASUALTY REPORTS AND SAYS THE FIGHTING IS TAKING PLACE MAINLY IN SUNNI STRONGHOLDS THROUGHTOUT IRAQ, -- AND WHY WOULD SHIITE IRAN GIVE THOSE GUYS STATE OF THE ART EXPLOSIVE GRENADES? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/02/11/wiran511.xml POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE EDITOR MOJO WAS KIND ENOUGH TO POST A PICTURE OF ONE OF THE CAPTURED ORDINANCE, AND SON OF A GUN IF THE ALLEGEDLY IRANIAN-PRODUCED MORTARS. have lables written in ENGLISH, AND CHRISTIAN CLENDAR NOTATION, NOT MUSLIM CALENDAR NOTATION. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article1361968.ece REMEMBER SIF AND OLLI ON MTV? NO, OF COURSE YOU DON'T REMEMBER THESE LESS-THAN-FAMOUS T-V SOCK PUPPETS OF YESTERYEAR, BECAUSE THEY WERE PRETTY MUCH UNMEMERABLE. THE UNITED KINGDOM IS OUT TO GET SOCK PUPPETS OF ANOTHER KIND -- FAKE BLOGGERS WHO PIMP THEIR OWN PRODUCTS, RESTAURANTS, BOOKS ONLINE. GET IT? THE TIMES ONLINE SAYS THE NEW LAW WILL NAME AND SHAME PERPATRATORS OF SUCH LAME BEHAVIOR. THE ARTICLE SAYS THAT Fake blog entries or whole wesbites purporting to be from customers will fall foul of a European directive banning them from “falsely representing oneself as a consumer”. http://www.gamestyle.net/news/2899 IF ONLY REAL LIFE CAME WITH THE NEW ASSHOLE BUTTON, NOW AVAILABLE IN THE HALO THREE VIDEO GAME. MOJO IS THRILLED! HE SAYS: Mute a player. Forever. This would have increased my enjpyment of Halo 2 by about 9,000% if I'd had it there. I can only listen to guys with slurred speech and thick southern drawls call me a "faggot" and a "cocksucker" and a "nigger" so much before I go find a different game to play. GAMESTYLE DOT NET REPORTS THAT GAME PRODUCER Bungie TASTEFULLY REFERRS TO IT AS THE A-HOLE BUTTON. http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/02/drm_in_windows.html SECURITY EXPERT BRUCE SCHNEIER -- ONE OF OUR FAVORITE ONLINE FOLKS HERE AT THE NEWS SHOW -- POSTED UP THE LOW DOWN ON MICROSOFT VISTA'S DIGITAL RIGHTS MANAGEMENT SCHEME. THE OPERATING SYSTEM, SCHNEIER REPORTS, WILL CONSTANTLY MONITOR ITS SELF -- CHEWING UP RESOURCES ALL THE WAY -- CHECKING THAT YOU'RE NOT PLAYING A STREAM OF ILLICIT DATA FROM A NON-LICENSED H-D DVD OR BLU-RAY DISC. IF IT CATCHES YOU, VISTA WILL MAKE THE PICTURE REAL CRAPPY OR JUST PREVENT IT FROM PLAYING. SCHNEIER SAYS: It's all complete nonsense. Microsoft could have easily told the entertainment industry that it was not going to deliberately cripple its operating system, take it or leave it. With 95% of the operating system market, where else would Hollywood go? WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THIS MESSAGE FROM GAMERS' LEDGE! This is poor mojo's news show! http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2007/02/08/nicaragua-deportation.html COULD YOU PROVE YOU WERE STRAIGHT? HOW DO YOU PROVE YOU'RE GAY? IF YOU'RE A BI-SEXUAL, WILL CANADA DENY YOUR ASYLUM CLAIM THAT YOU'RE PERSECUTED FOR YOUR SEXUALITY? ACCORDING TO THE C-B-C, CANDADA WILL DEPORT A NICARAGUAN MAN WHO COULD NOT SATISFY OFFICIALS THAT HE WAS GAY AND IN DANGER IN HIS HOME COUNTRY, WHERE SODOMY IS ILLEGAL. OFFICIALS CITED THE FACT THAT Alvaro Orozco, 21, COULDN'T GET LAID WHEN LIVING IN THE UNITED STATES BEFORE RUNNING TO CANDADA IN THEIR DECISION TO RETURN HIM TO HIS FATHER, WHO PROMISED TO KILL ALVARO WITH HIS OWN HANDS FOR BEING GAY. http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/02/homeland_securi.html BRUCE SCHNEIER TOLD THE STORY OF HOW THE TINY NEW ENGLAND TOWN OF CHESHIRE FAILED TO BUY A NEW FIRE TRUCK. OFFICALS PETITIONED THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FOR ASSISTANCE AND RECEIVED A HOMELAND SECURITY GRANT FOR SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE THOUSAND NINE-HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO DOLLARS -- NEARLY TWENTY-SIX TIMES THE VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT'S ANNUAL BUDGET. ONLY THING WAS, THEY COULDN'T SPEND IT ON A FIRE TRUCK. THEY STILL DON'T HAVE ONE. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: Even the Television Revolution Won't Be Televised - ALL GOOD MOJONAUTS MUST CHECK OUT HOME-MADE PROGRAMMING ON Channel 102 Toronto optician freaks out, attacks SEVENTY-FIVE YEAR OLD reporter and cameraman Breast cancer charity rejects money from strippers Hiking maps of Mars produced AND A gallery of home inspection nightmares OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.

A daily roundup of things that seemed important

Poor Mojo's News Show Podcast No. 47 (64 Kbps .mp3 8:08 3.7 Mb) A daily roundup of things that seemed important. Customer Service means never having to say you're sorry IT’S POOR MOJO’S NEWS SHOW! FOR FRIDAY, FEBRUARY NINTH, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN A DAILY ROUNDUP OF THINGS THAT SEEMED IMPORTANT . http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2007/02/07/passport_rule_change_in_us_keeps_iraqis_out/ IRAQIS WHO FIGURE THAT MAYBE THE UNITED STATES WILL TAKE THEM IN NOW THAT WE'VE REDUCED THEIR COUNTRY TO 13TH CENTURY CONDITIONS WOULD BE SADLY MISTAKEN. BOSTON DOT COM HAS A STORY ABOUT THE RULE THAT ALL PASSPORTS USED TO ENTER THE UNITED STATES HAD TO BE MACHINE READABLE BY JANUARY EIGHTH. PROBLEM BEING, THE ONLY PLACE AN IRAQI CAN GET ONE IS IN BAGHDAD - IT MAY BE YEARS BEFORE THEIR EMBASSIES GET THE EQUIPMENT TO MAKE THEM. THE ARTICLE QUOTES Samir Sumaida'ie, Iraq's ambassador to the United States: it would be an extreme hardship for most Iraqis abroad to make such a trip. http://gaygamer.net/2007/02/cheating_scandal_rocks_eve_onl_1.html MOJO GIVES US THE LOWDOWN ON A CHEATING SCANDAL HITTING THE M-M-O-R-P-G WORLD...In a nutshell: employees and GMs for EVE Online also play the game. They have been caught giving their guilds/friends free equipment and cash in-game. This uttery ruins the economy and is about as unfair as possible. It's the equivalent of playing Monopoly against someone and having the banker give them all the money and properties before the game even starts. SADLY, THE GAY GAMER DOT NET ARTICLE POINTS OUT THAT THE COMPANY BEHIND EVE ONLINE, CCP, FOCUES ON WHICH PLAYERS MAY HAVE RECEIVED HELP IN THE DISTANT PAST, RATHER THAN WHICH OF ITS CURRENT EMPLOYEES ARE CHEATERS. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://news.com.com/GOP%20revives%20ISP-tracking%20legislation/2100-1028_3-6156948.html?tag=nefd.top WHAT'S THE MOST AWFUL AND INTRUSIVE THING YOU CAN IMAGINE? HOW ABOUT YOUR INERNET SERVICE PROVIDER BEING FORCED TO RECORD EVERY THING YOU EVER DO ONLINE, FOREVER, AND SHARE THAT INFORMATION WITH LAW ENFORCMENT ON AN ONGOING BASIS? PORTAL OF EVIL COVERED EFFORTS BY REPUBLICAN LAWMAKERS TO REVIVE THIS BAD IDEA. EMPLOYEES OF ISPS FAILING TO FOLLOW THE BILL'S DATA RETENTION RULES WOULD FACE A YEAR IN PRISON. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/6337275.stm STEVE JOBS, LEGENDARY FOUNDER OF APPLE COMPUTER AND A DRIVING FORCE BEHIND THE SUCCESS OF THE I-POD HAS ASKED THE MUSIC INDUSTRY TO ABANDON DIGITIAL RIGHTS MANAGEMENT SCHEMES WHICH PREVENT SONG FILES BEING COPIED AND SHARED. FROM THE BBC NEWS ARTICLE: Copyright protection had failed to tackle piracy, JOBS argued. The firm behind the iPod has been under pressure to make its iTunes music store compatible with other music players. ONE COULD ASSUME THIS WOULD BE EASIER IF APPLE DIDN'T HAVE TO USE A PROPRIETARY DRM PROGRAM. http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/08/obit.smith/ ANNA NICOLE SMITH -- MODEL, WIFE, ADDICT, PLAINTIFF, TV STAR, MOTHER, THIN WOMAN, FAT WOMAN, SPOKESPERSON, STRIPPER -- HAS DIED AGED 39, ACCORDING TO C-N-N. POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE CONTRIBUTOR BRETT SAYS: Anna Nicole smith, despite her fame, money, and apparent success led what can only be considered a AWFUL life. She and everyone she knew would have been better off if she had punched Hugh Hefner in the face, used her money from Stripping to put herself through school, gotten a degree in nutritional science, settled down and raised a family. Instead, she was eaten alive by the voracious maw of American Celebrity Culture. Beware. THIS IS POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW! http://www.growdetroit.com/blog/?p=501 Boozy actor Daniel Baldwin was arrested yesterday in Detroit on a California warrant for grand theft auto -- even though the car's owner says Baldwin didn't steal his car, SAYS POOR MOJO EDITOR DAVE-O IN HIS GROW DETROIT DOT COM BLOGGING GIG. THE FRIEND SAYS HIS GIRLFRIEND JUMPED THE GUN AND CALLED THE COPS WHEN THE CAR TURNED UP MISSING. THE DETROIT FREE PRESS QUOTED BALDWIN AS SAYING: the accusation "is erroneous and a mistake. ... It isn't true. ... I'm sober today, and I'm working real hard on my career and becoming a productive member of society." DAVE-O'S COMMENTARY CONTINUES: Baldwin has been in the D working on a low-budget horror film, Little Red Devil, with Milford-based film company Skeleton Factory. He's reported to be playing the title role -- which would seem to indicate that the 6'2" Baldwin is playing Detroit's own nain rouge, a mythical red dwarf who haunts the city and appears directly before terrible events (such as the 1805 fire, or the surrender of the city during the War of 1812.) This constitutes "becoming a productive member of society"? http://www.thenewatlantis.com/archive/15/zubrin.htm POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE CONTRIBUTOR BRETT CAUGHT AN ARTICLE BY ROBERT ZUBRIN ABOUT THE HYDROGEN HOAX. HE SAYS: Hydrogen is a alternative fuel pipe dream. Developing it is a fool's errand, and anyone who tells you otherwise should be carefully vetted before giving them any credibility. The billions of dollors we give to the auto companies to develop it could be better used in almost any capacity than hydrogen research. THE ARTICLE DETAILS the problems with aN engery policy centered around Hydrogen, including fatal flaws in supply, production, distribution, and use in vehicles. ZUBRIN SEEMS TO CHECK OUT, BRETT'S TRACED HIS ACADEMIC CAREER AND IT SEEMS LEGIT. READ the entire article AT POORMOJO.ORG FORWARD SLASH P-M-J-A NEWS. http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn11140&feedId=online-news_rss20 Orlistat, a new drug from Glaxo/Smith/Klein, IS THE FIRST OVER THE COUNTER WEIGHT LOSS PILL APPROVED BY THE FDA. IT PREVENTS THE BODY FROM ABOSRBING THE FAT ONE EATS, ACCORDING TO NEW SCIENTIST DOT COM. HOWEVER, THERE IS A DOWNSIDE TO THE Fat-fighting, pants-shitting drug: The undigested fat is eliminated through bowel movements, which can cause side effects such as gas, diarrhoea and an oily discharge. ## C L O S E R ## OTHER STORIES WE COVERED TODAY AT POOR MOJO'S NEWSWIRE: Is there anything sadder than seeing the promise of a budding romantic relationship crushed by the cruel hand of a jaded interloper? Jon Stewart vs. Ralph Nader Jack Lessenberry is not pissed at Jennie Granholm, but does despair for his state Time lapse video game photography Action games can improve your sight, re-wire your brain The Metal Theft Epidemic - In some parts of America it alrteady is the post-apocalypse. A Warcraft Pardoner's Tale When does Warren Ellis find time to find this shit? Russia, U.S. stockpiling intercontinental missiles I. Lewis Scooter Libby is a lying sack of shit The Moon-wars of Saturn Dekotora: the amazingly decorated big-rigs of Japan C-SPAN Prank Calls More afraid of gays than terrorists and Colbert's word of the day: Silence OUR THEME SONG IS AN UNTITLED PIECE FROM THE DISC "HIMNO NASIONAL" BY THE FIGURES, AVAILABLE AT FINGERPRINT DASH RECORDS DOT COM. FIND US ONLINE AT P-O-O-R-M-O-J-O DOT O-R-G, AND FOLLOW THE LINK TO THE NEWSWIRE ON BEHALF OF LONGO, BRETT, JIM, DAVE-O, FRITZ, THE GIANT SQUID AND MOJO, THIS HAS BEEN POOR MOJO'S NEWS SHOW, I'M ALAN BENARD.