Practicing Love: Have the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40

What happens when the woman you love stops wanting sex? For many men, a fading sex drive feels like rejection, loneliness, or even a sign that the relationship is dying. You may wonder:  Am I still attractive? Does she still want me? Did I do something wrong? After more than 20 years of coaching men and couples, I've found the answer is usually more nuanced. Women often don't stop wanting sex. They stop wanting the sex they've been having. As women move through midlife, many become less willing to settle for intimacy that feels rushed, disconnected, predictable, or focused primarily on their partner's experience. Hormones and health can certainly play a role, but there's another piece that often gets overlooked: desire is relational. In this episode, I explore a different way of understanding desire—one where it isn't something one partner has and the other needs to get back. Desire is something two people create together. I share six ways I've helped couples co-create more connection, pleasure, and passion, including becoming a student of your partner, slowing down, moving beyond one-dimensional sex, creating experiments instead of expectations, and learning not to take differences in desire personally. If your sex life has faded, I hope this episode gives you something you may not have had in a while: hope that the best intimacy of your relationship can still be ahead of you.     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: X6DOTPWFPO5ZGZDX

Have you ever looked at someone you love and wondered, What happened to us? Most people assume relationships drift apart because the spark fades, communication breaks down, or life simply gets in the way. But what if the real reason is much simpler and more hopeful? In this conversation, bestselling author and executive coach Jamie Smart shares a perspective that has transformed the lives of thousands of people he has coached.  One of my favorite moments is when Jamie talks about how he'd spent years organizing his relationships around avoiding heartbreak instead of creating true love, and what is possible since making that shift.  In this episode, we explore:  The underlying causes of relationships drifting and spark fading  How your "view" changes how your partner appears to you  The downward spiral of disconnection from trying to be "right"  How insight transforms relationships faster than trying harder  The key to make the shift from self-protection to creating true love Whether you're dating, married, healing from heartbreak, or simply wanting deeper connection, this conversation offers a fresh way of understanding what keeps love alive, and what helps us truly see each other again. And if you want a deep dive into understanding who you truly are, and what's possible in love and life once you know this, this is an episode for you.     Enjoyed this conversation? Here are a few more resources:   Jamie's Resources:  Learn more: JamieSmart.com  Listen to Jamie's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/get-clarity-with-jamie-smart/id1173476690     Explore Jamie's books, including Clarity and Results: Think Less, Achieve More: https://www.jamiesmart.com/jamie-books/   Shana's Resources:  Discover what's keeping you from having the love and connection you want. Take the quiz: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/  Join the Honest Dating Manual waitlist https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/    Need support? Schedule a free Love Consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

Everyone talks about "baggage" in dating. But what does that actually mean? If you're dating in midlife, chances are you—and everyone you meet—have lived through heartbreak, divorce, health challenges, parenting, financial ups and downs, grief, or complicated family dynamics. The goal isn't to find someone without baggage. It's to discover whether your lives, values, and emotional realities are compatible enough to build something beautiful together. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with relationship and intimacy coach Karen Bigman to explore what baggage really is, how to recognize the difference between deal breakers and manageable challenges, and why self-awareness is far more important than finding a "perfect" partner. Together we explore:  Why everyone in midlife brings some form of baggage into dating  How to tell the difference between compatible and incompatible baggage  Why knowing yourself matters more than following dating rules  When to communicate your needs, boundaries, and relationship history  How divorce, children, finances, family dynamics, and health challenges affect dating   Perhaps the biggest takeaway is this: Your past doesn't have to determine your future. What matters is how consciously you understand yourself, communicate your needs, and choose relationships that honor who you are today. Because dating isn't about finding someone with no baggage. It's about finding someone whose life, values, and humanity fit well with yours. About Karen Bigman Karen Bigman is a relationship and intimacy coach, sex educator, and host of the Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 podcast. She specializes in helping men navigate dating, intimacy, midlife sexuality, and relationships with greater confidence, honesty, and self-awareness. Through coaching, courses, and education, Karen helps people create more connected, authentic relationships in the second half of life. Learn More About Karen  Website: https://taboototruth.com  Podcast: Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TabooToTruth Resources from Shana   Take the quiz to find out what gets in the way of finding love:  Find Love Quiz  Join the Honest Dating Guide waitlist: https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/  Schedule a consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: FTDWN40V3UIZ5PJL

Why do so many ambitious, successful couples end up feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? It's rarely because they stopped loving each other. Most people assume intimacy begins in the bedroom. Andrew and Kiana Joyner believe it begins at the kitchen table... in the everyday moments where partners feel heard, understood, appreciated, and emotionally safe. When those moments disappear, physical intimacy often follows. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with therapist-and-coach team Andrew and Kiana Joyner to explore what actually keeps love alive when careers, parenting, ambition, and everyday responsibilities compete for attention. Whether you're entrepreneurs, professionals, parents, or simply two busy people trying to build a meaningful life together, this conversation offers practical tools you can start to use today. In this episode, we explore:  Why emotional intimacy is the foundation of physical intimacy  Why high-achieving couples often put their relationship on the back burner without realizing it  Why feeling understood matters more than agreeing, and the common misunderstanding about love languages  How unresolved hurts quietly create exhaustion and distance in relationships  Practical ways to become more intentional with your time, communication, and shared vision  The difference between mature and immature communication, and a simple practice that creates repair  The actions that actually create lasting connection (since insight alone doesn't change relationships)   Lasting love isn't built by accident. It's built through small, intentional moments of understanding, appreciation, and repair. About Andrew & Kianga Joyner Andrew Joyner and Kianga Joyner are a therapist-and-coach team who specialize in helping individuals and couples create emotional clarity, deeper connection, and lasting transformation. Together, they help ambitious couples and successful professionals build stronger communication, greater accountability, and relationships that thrive emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Guest Resources  Website: https://www.souljourneyproject.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/souljourneyproject Resources from Shana  Take the quiz to find out what keeps you from having the best love and sex of your life: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/ Schedule a consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: HDF76SDCD7O26RO5

Many people enter dating determined to avoid conflict. They smile through uncomfortable conversations, overlook comments that don't sit right, or convince themselves they're being "easygoing." Especially for those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, staying agreeable can feel like the safest way to protect themselves from rejection or disappointment. But according to relationship and dating coach Shana James, this habit often prevents people from discovering whether someone is truly capable of building a healthy relationship. In this solo episode of Practicing Love, I, Shana James, share the third move in my series on transforming modern dating. While the first two episodes focused on creating an honest atmosphere at the start of a date and staying connected to your own experience throughout the conversation, this episode explores what to do when something doesn't feel quite right. Most people respond to uncomfortable moments in one of two ways. They either smooth things over and pretend nothing happened or they emotionally check out of the conversation without saying a word. Although both reactions are understandable, neither helps you learn whether the person sitting across from you can handle honesty, curiosity, and emotional intimacy. Instead, Shana encourages listeners to do something surprisingly simple: acknowledge what you're experiencing. Rather than accusing your date or making assumptions about their intentions, she recommends expressing your own internal experience. A sentence as simple as, "Can I say something honest?" followed by sharing what you noticed in yourself can completely transform the conversation. This isn't about creating conflict or turning a first date into therapy. It's about inviting authenticity. When you honestly express a small moment of discomfort, your date's response becomes valuable information. They may become curious, defensive, dismissive, or open. Every response reveals something about their emotional maturity and their ability to navigate real relationships. Drawing from years of coaching experience, I share story of a divorced client who repeatedly invested months into relationships before discovering important incompatibilities. By practising this simple shift, he learned to recognize emotional availability within the first hour of meeting someone instead of months later. The goal isn't to test people or create uncomfortable conversations for their own sake. It's to stop performing and start discovering. Together, the three shifts in this series create a new approach to dating—one rooted in honesty instead of approval, curiosity instead of performance, and genuine connection instead of self-protection. Rather than hoping love happens by chance, you begin creating the conditions where authentic intimacy can grow. CHAPTERS Why Small Moments of Friction Matter in Dating The Cost of Staying Silent to Keep the Peace Emotional Maturity vs. Emotional Avoidance The Third Shift: Speak Your Truth with Honesty How to Say "Can I Say Something Honest?" What Someone's Response Reveals About Them A Real-Life Example of Honest Dating in Action The Three Shifts That Create Authentic Connection Building Lasting Love Through Openness and Presence Final Thoughts: Practicing Love After 40 Connect with Shana:  Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/ 

What happens when the person you love feels more like a roommate than a romantic partner? A dead bedroom isn't just about sex. For many people, it feels like rejection, loneliness, and the slow loss of emotional connection. It can leave partners wondering: "What's wrong with me?" "Why doesn't my partner want me?" "Can we ever get back what we had?" In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with speaker, author, and founder of Help for Men, Ralph Brewer, whose book The Dead Bedroom Fix has resonated with thousands of men and couples. Ralph shares his own journey through divorce, starting over as a father of three, and what he learned about intimacy, attachment, confidence, and healing. Together we explore:  Why dead bedrooms rarely happen because of sex alone  The connection between attachment styles and intimacy struggles  Why many men feel forgotten, unwanted, or emotionally alone  The shame that keeps people stuck  What confidence really means  Why asking for help is one of the strongest things we can do  Why becoming secure is a practice, not an overnight transformation  How addressing the "broken little boy" inside can change your relationships forever This conversation is for anyone who feels lonely in their relationship, longs for more intimacy, or wants to understand why connection fades and how to rebuild it. Because a dead bedroom isn't always the end of a relationship. Sometimes it's an invitation to finally have the conversations and do the healing that bring love back to life. Guest Resources Ralph Brewer's book: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=The+Dead+Bedroom+Fix+Ralph+Brewer Help for Men: https://helpformen.com/ The Brotherhood: https://thebrotherhoodcommunity.com/ Resources from Shana Find out what gets in the way of you having the best sex of your life: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/?ref=podcast Learn more about Honest Sex: https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-sex/ Schedule an Effortless Love and Sex Consultation: https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC

If you've ever left a date replaying every moment in your head, analyzing every text message, or wondering whether you said the wrong thing, you're not alone. For many people, especially those dating after 40 or dating after divorce, first dates aren't actually about getting to know someone. They're about trying to figure out whether you're being liked. In this solo episode of Practicing Love, dating and relationship coach Shana James reveals the second mindset shift in her series on transforming modern dating. While the first shift focused on changing the dynamic of a date by naming a shared intention at the beginning, this episode explores the internal habit that quietly sabotages connection long after the conversation begins. The problem isn't always obvious. Once a date gets underway, many people naturally fall back into monitoring themselves. They start wondering: "Am I coming across well?" "Do they like me?" "Am I attractive enough?" "Did I say the wrong thing?" According to Shana, this constant self-monitoring creates a split in attention. Part of you is present in the conversation, while another part is standing outside the experience, evaluating your performance. The result? You become less available for authentic connection. Instead of being fully present, you're busy reading facial expressions, decoding reactions, and trying to predict whether the other person approves of you. Even emotionally intelligent and self-aware people fall into this trap because it can disguise itself as attentiveness or empathy. Shana explains that the question most people unconsciously ask on dates is: "Do they like me?" But she offers a much more powerful alternative: "Do I like how I'm showing up in this conversation?" That single shift changes everything. Rather than making yourself the object of someone else's evaluation, you become the subject of your own experience. Instead of navigating dating through self-doubt, you begin navigating through self-worth. This perspective allows you to notice whether you're being authentic, whether you're genuinely enjoying yourself, and whether the connection aligns with your values. It also helps you stop performing and start participating. Drawing from her coaching experience and examples from clients, Shana demonstrates how this question can transform shallow, frustrating dates into meaningful conversations. When people stop focusing on being chosen and start focusing on whether they're enjoying the connection, they gain the confidence to steer conversations in more authentic directions. The outcome isn't necessarily a perfect date. It's something more valuable: a real experience rooted in honesty, curiosity, and self-trust. CHAPTERS Welcome Back to the Dating Shift Series Why Dating Feels Better… Then Gets Hard Again The Hidden Question Running Most Dates The Cost of Constant Self-Monitoring When Emotional Intelligence Becomes Performance Why Great Dates Stay Shallow The Dating Question That Changes Everything Moving From Self-Doubt to Self-Worth What You Notice When You Stop Seeking Approval Client Story: Breaking the Post-Date Anxiety Cycle How to Turn a Boring Date Into a Meaningful One Why Dating Feels Easier When You Stay Connected to Yourself The Two Questions That Create Completely Different Dates Your New Dating Compass Preview of the Next Dating Shift

What does it take to create a relationship that survives life's challenges and? My guest, Geoff Laughton, has been married for 44 years. He and his wife have been through experiences that would have ended many relationships, but their marriage has continued to deepen and evolve. In this conversation Geoff shares why conflict isn't something to avoid, but one of the greatest opportunities for growth, intimacy, and deeper connection. Geoff is a relationship coach, men's coach, founder of The Undaunted Man, and author of Conflict-Proof Relationship, in addition to other books.  We explore: • Why love alone is not enough to make a relationship work • The surprising role conflict plays in healthy relationships • How to take responsibility for your emotions before communicating • What true forgiveness requires after betrayal or broken trust • Why your partner isn't understood until they feel understood • The danger of assuming your partner thinks like you • What is more important than trying to get back to the way things used to be One of my favorite insights from this conversation is that healthy relationships aren't conflict-free. They stay healthy by  learning to navigate conflict consciously and use it as an opportunity to grow. If you've ever struggled with communication, recurring arguments, betrayal, or feeling misunderstood, this episode offers a powerful roadmap toward deeper connection and lasting love. Resources: Find Geoff:  https://yourrelationshiparchitect.com/  https://yourrelationshiparchitect.com/published-books/  https://theundauntedman.com/   Find Shana: https://shanajamescoaching.com/ https://shanajamescoaching.com/consult       Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CHROXRSGACRHE8NP

Most men were never taught how to navigate a woman's desires. In fact, many were taught to fear them. In this candid and sometimes provocative conversation, intimacy expert Susan Bratton and I explore what becomes possible when women stop hiding what they want and men stop seeing desire as something they have to control, manage, or perform around. Susan has spent decades helping people create what she calls "heart-connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking." Together we explore why great sex isn't about performance, techniques, or getting it right. It's about presence, self-expression, emotional safety, and the courage to tell the truth. We talk about: • The difference between conscious lovemaking and performative sex • Why many women struggle to express what they truly want • How a woman's desires can become a roadmap rather than something to fear • What happens when partners stop trying to control each other and start co-creating • How heart connection creates deeper intimacy and better sex • Why asking for what you want is one of the greatest gifts you can give a partner • The surprising ways long-term relationships stay alive, erotic, and connected Susan shares stories from her own life, relationships, and decades of teaching that challenge conventional ideas about sex, intimacy, and partnership. While some parts of this conversation are refreshingly direct and adult in nature, the deeper invitation is one we all need: to stop performing, start telling the truth, and create relationships where we can be fully known and fully loved. If you've ever wondered how to create deeper connection, more satisfying intimacy, or a relationship where desire can be spoken openly, this conversation is for you. Get Susan's twice weekly tips for great sex at: https://betterlover.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/BetterLover Take Shana's quiz to see what's keeping you from the best love and sex of your life: https://bestlove.scoreapp.com/     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM

Dating after 40, especially dating after divorce,  is supposed to get easier. You know yourself better. You're done with the games. You're clear on what you want. But somehow, the dates still feel like performances. The apps still feel like a chore. And getting ghosted still stings just as much as it did decades ago. That's exactly where this episode begins. In this solo episode of Practicing Love, host and dating coach Shana James gets specific about why dating feels so exhausting after 40. She explains why the fix is simpler and stranger than most people expect. The episode opens with a promise from the previous episode: that the real reason love feels hard to find isn't your age, your circumstances, or the myth that all the good ones are taken. It's that your protection is working too well. And the first move to shift that protection? It doesn't require more therapy, more affirmations, or another workshop. It can happen in the first two minutes of your next date. Most people think the first move is updating their photos, downloading apps, or saying yes to more social events. Shana calls these moves five, six, and seven. Without the real first move, everything that follows feels hollow. Dates feel like auditions, people never quite clear the bar, and the connection that could be there stays just out of reach. The real first move is naming the context of the date out loud. This comes before the small talk takes over. Rather than two people silently performing at each other, quietly asking, " Am I good enough? Will they like me? Where is this going?" You simply say it differently. Something like: "I'm more interested in being real here than trying to impress each other. Can we keep this date honest and relaxed?" That's it. A few sentences that shift the entire dynamic from a silent auction to a shared exploration. Shana draws on over 20 years of coaching and her own dating experience across her twenties, thirties, and forties. She uses every date as an experiment in what creates real connection versus what creates more disconnection, anxiety, and the painful emotional rollercoaster that follows. Her clients initially resist this approach. It feels too weird. Too heavy. Too much. But when they try it, what happens is the opposite of what they fear. Dates feel lighter, not heavier. Conversations go somewhere real. The ghosting and post-date spiralling stop because the date was grounded in reality from the start. This is what Shana calls relational leadership. And it's available to anyone willing to value connection more than performance. CHAPTERS Why Love Feels Harder to Find After 40 The First Move Nobody Talks About Why Apps and Events Aren't Enough The Real First Move: Naming the Context What to Actually Say at the Start of a Date Different Kinds of Connection After 40 The Gap Between Knowing and Practicing Vulnerability What Happens When Someone Responds With Relief Relational Leadership: Dating as Something You Create The Honest Dating Guide and What's Inside

Most people dating after 40s have a theory about why love hasn't happened yet. The age. The baggage. The kids. The schedule. Relationship and dating coach Shana James says every one of those theories is wrong, not because the challenges aren't real, but because they're symptoms, not the cause. In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana explains that the real obstacle is almost never circumstantial. It's internal. After real loss, divorce, grief, relationships that ran out of road, the mind builds a protection system that made complete sense at the time but is now keeping love at arm's length. "You've become very, very good at keeping yourself safe. And that same skill is now keeping love at arm's length." That overprotection shows up in recognizable ways: overanalyzing a potential partner in the first few dates and finding a reason to exit early, staying so busy there's never space for someone new, numbing the desire for emotional connection, or keeping things surface-level because that level doesn't hurt. These behaviors feel responsible and self-aware. They're actually the protection working against you. Shana then walks through three shifts that change things. Moving from performing confidence to being vulnerable. Filtering for growth rather than perfection. And deciding to practice readiness instead of waiting to feel ready, because, as she puts it, ready is not a feeling that arrives before you act. It's what happens as you act. She also addresses a grief many people carry but rarely say out loud: the fear that real, electric love is a younger person's experience. Drawing on Gottman research, she argues that love after 40 doesn't have a lower ceiling. It just has a different ignition. Safety comes before chemistry, and the connection that grows from genuine safety reaches a depth that chemistry-first relationships rarely achieve. CHAPTERS Why Your Theory About Love is Wrong What Genuinely Changes After 40 The Protection System Working Against You  How Overprotection Shows Up in Dating  Love After 40 Doesn't Have a Lower Ceiling  Three Shifts That Open You Back Up  Client Story  Conclusion Connect with Shana:  Website: https://shanajamescoaching.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanajames/

Betrayal can feel like it shatters everything. Trust, safety, identity can be gone in an instant. But betrayal is also more complex than we've been led to believe. In this episode of Practicing Love, I'm joined by The Therapy Brothers, Brannon and Tyler Patrick, who specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate betrayal, addiction, and the painful path of rebuilding trust. We explore what's really happening beneath betrayal, and what it actually takes to heal. Because betrayal isn't always about a lack of love. Sometimes it's: A lack of courage A hidden addiction or compulsive behavior An inability to face shame or be fully known Or a desperate (and often unconscious) attempt to escape We talk about the different "flavors" of betrayal, why it can feel so shocking and disorienting to the betrayed partner, and why healing requires both compassion and accountability. In this episode, we explore: The different patterns that lead people to betray trust What happens internally for both the betrayer and the betrayed Why secrecy and shame keep people stuck...and how to break that cycle Early signs that something may be off in a relationship How to approach a partner when you sense disconnection or dishonesty What it really takes to rebuild trust (and why it can't be rushed) Why healing requires individual work, not just relationship repair We also talk about something many people don't realize: The relationship issue is often a symptom, not the root problem. Unless that deeper work is addressed, true repair isn't possible. This conversation is honest, nuanced, and grounded in their real experience working with couples in the most painful and confusing moments of their relationships. If you've experienced betrayal, fear it, or want to understand it more deeply, this episode offers both clarity and a path forward.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: 3XO0LDATK42BXEXU

What if dating could be enjoyable, and you could let go of the stress of performing, proving, and wanting to be chosen... especially when dating in midlife and wanting real love? In this special episode, I'm joined by my partner, Marc Hopkins, for a real and honest conversation about how we actually found love — and what we did differently than in our past relationships. We didn't fall in love by accident. We didn't rush to define the relationship. And we didn't try to be who we thought the other wanted us to be. We slowed down, stayed curious, told the truth, and let ourselves be seen, even when it felt vulnerable. In this episode, we talk about: The ways we were tempted to hide parts of ourselves to be more desirable Why avoiding "hard conversations" in the beginning sets relationships up to fail How we made our avoidant attachment patterns playful instead of pressure-filled What it looks like to date with curiosity instead of urgency  The difference between reacting and responding, and how to bring this into early dating How honesty, even when uncomfortable, can create a foundation of safety and intimacy How to discover and build real love, not a fragile fantasy This conversation is at the heart of my Honest Dating approach. If you're tired of dating that feels exhausting, confusing, or performative, this episode will show you what else is possible.  If you want to more, join the waitlist for the Honest Dating Manual and events here:  https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-dating-manual/   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E

What if love could actually get easier over time? And could deepen instead of fade?  In this episode, I'm joined by Ben and Kerena Saltzman — partners who don't just talk about conscious relationship, but live it. They share what they do to keep love alive, not by avoiding conflict, but by learning to love each other well.  They talk about how it can be intentional, even when things feel messy. We explore what makes your love become stronger and what becomes possible when you love each other well: Conflict doesn't slowly erode the relationship — it strengthens it You feel more on the same team, even in hard moments Intimacy deepens instead of fading over time You learn about each other instead of taking things personally There's more honesty, more aliveness, and more room to be fully yourself Even the painful moments become part of what brings you closer We talk about the courage it takes to keep opening your heart, even when it would be easier to shut down.  And why the couples who thrive aren't the ones who never struggle, but the ones who keep choosing each other, again and again. If you've ever wondered whether lasting, vibrant love is actually possible, this conversation will show you that it is.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: ELRUV6G8JHUP8JAW

Why do so many relationships feel frustrating, confusing, or disappointing, even when there's real love?  What if the biggest source of conflict in your relationship isn't your partner, but your expectations of them? In this episode, I talk with psychologist and author of Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. We explore how quickly we create stories about who our partner should be, and how those expectations erode connection, create resentment, and leave both people feeling like they're failing. You'll hear why your partner may feel like an "alien" at times, and how differences in wiring, nervous systems, and past experiences shape the way we love, communicate, and respond in conflict. This conversation also unpacks what actually creates win-wins in relationships, and why trying to "fix" your partner, or get them to change, often backfires. In this episode, we explore: How expectations get out of alignment with reality (and what that costs your relationship) The hidden fear of "not being enough" that increases conflict  Why your partner's strengths are often also their blind spots How to work with differences in personality, pace, and nervous systems What to do when your partner shuts down, pulls away, or seems unresponsive How to create connection without pressure, demands, or ultimatums Why people get defensive and how to stop unintentionally making things worse A more effective way to repair and create real understanding If you've ever thought, "If they loved me, they would…" this episode will challenge that assumption in a way that opens the door to more connection, compassion, and possibility.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: X6DOTPWFPO5ZGZDX

In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with tech modern mystic Renée Blodgett, about where science and spirituality meet in love and relationship. We explore real-life relationship dynamics, like how awareness, vulnerability, and presence directly impact and deepen intimacy, from Renee's spiritual perspectives. We talk about what's beyond traditional conditioning around love and sex, how overdoing and constant striving can create distance in a relationship, and what it takes to shift into deeper connection. We also explore masculine and feminine dynamics, the importance of communication, and simple practices that help partners reconnect. In this episode, we cover: Why we can't be truly intimate until we're willing to be vulnerable How over-functioning and constant doing create distance in love What shifts when we move from reacting to responding in relationship How to create intentional time for deeper connection Simple practices to deepen intimacy and feel more in sync with your partner What to do with past wounds and shadow patterns that show up in relationships This is a powerful conversation about love, consciousness, and how to create deeper intimacy without forcing, fixing, or overworking in your relationship. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: 15Q3WZOTKSNA4MJM

Most men want to please the women they love. But many don't understand what actually helps a woman open, relax, and experience truly satisfying sex. In this episode, I talk with Certified Sexologist Kevin Anthony, host of the Love Lab Podcast, about what men often miss about what women need to make sex great for them. For many women, great sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It begins with safety, trust, connection, and presence. When a woman feels emotionally safe and deeply connected, her body can relax and open to pleasure. Without that foundation, sex can feel tense, pressured, or disconnected — even when both partners have good intentions. Kevin and I explore: • Why safety and trust are essential for women's sexual pleasure • How connection starts long before the bedroom • The role of emotional intelligence in great sex • How presence creates much better sex than performance • The physical things many men misunderstand about foreplay • Why women's arousal is more fluid and responsive than many men realize • How you can create more harmony, connection, and passion This conversation will give you powerful new perspectives to create deeper intimacy, better sex, and a more connected relationship.    Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!       Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

What if calling in "the one" who is a soul-aligned partner isn't about doing more, but about coming home to who you truly are? In this episode, Shana James sits down with Self-Love & Relationship Coach Risa Gaull, who reminds us of a powerful truth: you are the love you seek. If you've read Calling in "The One" by Kathryn Woodward Thomas and wondered how to truly become and attract a soul-aligned partner, this episode is for you. Risa Gaull, who is a certified coach for Kathryn's program, joins me to explore how self-love, healing your wounds, and shifting your identity, help you call in conscious, commitment-ready love. We explore what it actually takes to call in a soul-aligned partner, not through manifestation tricks or self-improvement, but through deep self-alignment, emotional responsibility, and healing the wounded parts of ourselves that learned love had to be earned. Risa shares how to recognize when you're relating from your wounded self versus your true self, including the subtle body, emotional, and thought-based signals that reveal whether you're in alignment or operating from old survival stories. She also offers compassionate practices for reconnecting with your inner truth, without trying to fix or bypass your pain. This conversation is an invitation to stop outsourcing your well-being, stop making partners your source, and start relating from wholeness — where real intimacy and soul-aligned love can grow. In this episode, you'll learn: Why self-alignment is the foundation of soul-aligned partnership The three signs you're relating from your wounded self (and how to come back) How to meet anxious or insecure parts with compassion instead of judgment Why your partner is not your source of validation, and how that creates healthier relationships What changes when you stop needing someone else to be different for you to feel good Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: FTDWN40V3UIZ5PJL

Money can feel even more vulnerable than sex. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with money coach and Gentle Money author Adam Koren to explore why finances carry so much emotional weight — and why so many couples struggle to talk about them without tension, shame, or defensiveness. Most of us were never actually taught how to manage money in a grounded, relational way. And yet we often carry deep shame if we believe we're "bad" at it. That shame keeps conversations surface-level, creates distance in partnership, and quietly erodes trust. Money isn't just about numbers. It's about safety, power, freedom, identity, and worth. Together, Adam and I explore how family history shapes financial patterns, why restrictive budgeting often backfires, and how approaching money with gentleness instead of fear can increase both emotional and financial intimacy. We also talk about practical ways couples can create regular money conversations that build connection instead of conflict. If you want more peace — not just in your bank account, but in your relationship — this conversation will open new doors.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: HDF76SDCD7O26RO5

Menopause isn't just a women's issue. It's creates a relationship struggle for both partners. And for many couples, it's the moment things fall apart. In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Most men enter relationships with what Mark calls "Prince tools." They try to fix, perform, or avoid conflict. But menopause often brings emotional intensity, physical changes, and deeper truths to the surface. The old tools stop working. When this isn't seen as a problem to solve, it's an invitation to grow. In this episode explore: • Why so many couples struggle or separate during menopause and andropause • The difference between "Prince" and "King" energy • How to stop shutting down or taking things personally • The biggest mistakes men make during this stage • How midlife becomes a rite of passage into emotional maturity • What real intimacy is, beyond just sex • How vulnerability becomes strength, not weakness If you love a woman in midlife — or you're moving through this season yourself — this conversation will help you show up with steadiness, heart, and depth. Because menopause doesn't have to be the end of intimacy. It can be the beginning of the most honest and connected love of your life.   In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC

What happens when desire fades, sex feels effortful, or intimacy keeps getting interrupted by resentment, pressure, or exhaustion? In this episode of Practicing Love, I'm joined by Elana Auerbach, author of The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark, for a refreshing and deeply human conversation about desire differences, sensual connection, and what actually helps when intimacy takes a back seat. Rather than pushing through, fixing, or forcing desire, Elana offers a radically different orientation: pleasure as a practice of presence, intention, and safety. We explore: Why desire often disappears in long-term relationships, even when love is strong How resentment, withholding, and "trying to get it right" block sensual connection A new definition of orgasm as how much you can surrender to pleasure Why Responsive Desire needs context, safety, and curiosity to arise What to do when intimacy gets interrupted, and why nothing is lost when you pause How short, intentional pleasure practices (even 10 minutes) can rebuild closeness Learning to know what you want, and how to ask for it without pressure How devotion, play, and self-attunement can reignite the spark over time This conversation is for anyone who wants more aliveness, more connection, and more honesty around pleasure, whether you're partnered, single, or somewhere in between. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CHROXRSGACRHE8NP

Reclaiming eros can impact every area of your life!  In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James is joined by Erotic Wholeness Guide Darshana Avila, whose work has been featured on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and more. Together, they explore an expanded understanding of eroticism — not as performance or sexuality alone, but as the life force energy of Eros that supports your creativity, intimacy, passion, and aliveness. Darshana invites us to rethink everything we've been taught about erotic energy, showing how cultural conditioning, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and nervous system dysregulation often suppress our erotic vitality — leaving us exhausted, and disconnected from our authenticity and from one another. This conversation weaves together somatic wisdom, relational insights, and deep compassion as Shana and Darshana explore how reclaiming erotic wholeness creates safety, presence, and intimacy in sex and intimacy, as well as every area of life. In this episode, you'll explore: What erotic wholeness (beyond sex) actually means  How erotic energy fuels creativity, connection, and vitality Why many people feel disconnected from desire and aliveness The role of nervous system regulation in intimacy and pleasure How people-pleasing and perfectionism suppress erotic expression Why integrating grief, shame, and protective strategies is part of erotic healing How safety and relaxation allow erotic energy to flow naturally This episode is an invitation to let go of pressure, performance and shame and find more of yourself -- your body, truth, and the full spectrum of your aliveness. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

A Conversation on Real Connection & Ecstatic Intimacy What do we actually long for in love? In this episode, Shana James is joined by Joanna Shakti, founder and facilitator of Ecstatic Intimacy, for a rich conversation about authentic connection, emotional depth, and intimacy that doesn't require shrinking, over-giving, or shape-shifting to be loved. Joanna introduces the concept of ecstatic authenticity — the shift from hiding parts of ourselves to keep the peace, to honoring who we truly are in relationship and lovemaking. From this place of authenticity, deeper emotional intimacy, trust, and soul-level connection become possible — and passion becomes grounded in honesty, support, and delight. Together, Shana and Joanna also explore masculine and feminine energy not as rigid roles, but as living polarities (like yin and yang) that can create greater attraction, freedom, and aliveness in conscious relationships. In this episode, we explore: Why authenticity is the gateway to deeper intimacy What it really means to feel fully seen, understood, and "gotten" in love How conscious conflict can become communion instead of disconnection A more liberating approach to masculine and feminine dynamics in intimacy The conscious path from authenticity → intimacy → ecstasy If you're longing for a relationship where you can be fully yourself — and experience passion, devotion, and real connection — this conversation is for you. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: OHMHFXBSHHFV307Z

On today's Practicing Love podcast, Shana James is joined by divorce coach and NLP practitioner Rachael Sloan for a powerful conversation about how relationships break down — and how they can be repaired before it's too late. Rachael works primarily with men navigating separation and divorce and is the creator of the Better Beyond Divorce program. Together, Shana and Rachael explore emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, survival responses, and the unconscious patterns that couples bring into relationships. This episode is for anyone who wants to communicate more effectively, stay connected during conflict, and build a relationship that can weather hard moments with greater compassion and clarity. It's a hopeful conversation about staying in love longer, even when things get hard, and how to stop the downward spirals that couples get stuck in.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: 3XO0LDATK42BXEXU

Why does connection and communication break down in long-term relationships, even when love is still there? In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James and Hannah Chapman explore the hidden dynamics that cause couples to talk past each other, shut down, or feel chronically misunderstood. Drawing from vulnerable relationship experiences and decades of coaching, this conversation illuminates how defensive communication forms, what matters more than "being right," and how to rebuild connection over time. You'll learn: Why long-term couples often repeat the same painful communication cycles The difference between defensive communication and open, connected dialogue How curiosity and nervous-system safety change dynamics What it really takes to rebuild emotional intimacy and trust How partners feel seen, heard, and met again Whether you're feeling disconnected, stuck in recurring arguments, or longing for deeper closeness, this episode offers practical insight and hope for creating a relationship where communication becomes a source of connection, not conflict. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E

Dating feels brutal for so many relationship-ready singles, especially over 40. In this episode, Shana James talks with Adam Cohen Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, about how AI is reshaping modern matchmaking and how AI makes it easier for people to date and find real, emotionally available love. They explore dating burnout, why the apps are failing people, the power of intentional dating, and how AI can even support deeper human connection. A must-listen for those who want to stop unconsciously swiping and start consciously dating and creating meaningful relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

Passion doesn't fade because "that's just what happens." Passion fades because couples are missing a few essential skills. When you learn them, you can create spark and reignite it in long term relationships. In today's video, I break down some deeper reasons passion fades in long-term relationships and marriages, based on 20 years as a dating and relationship coach and the teachings from my book Honest Sex.

How do you have a relationship that feels peaceful and loving, rather than feeling like a rollercoaster? In all phases, from dating to long term relationships, this is something clients tell me they want most. Therapist and author Jessica Baum joins me to explore why safety is essential for real love, and what the foundations of a healthy relationship are. We dive deep into attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and the biology of trust, exploring how early attachment wounds shape your adult dynamics, and usually not for the better. You'll learn what healing requires, and how to create the secure, loving bond you've always longed for, but were never taught how. We talk about how to heal, and even bypass, the struggles most people face in love and relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC

We explore what happens when being "the one who saves" starts costing you connection with yourself and others. Brent Perkins joins me to unpack how overgiving and self-abandonment can masquerade as love, and what it really takes to move from trying to be the hero to letting yourself be human. You'll learn to give without depletion, create agreements instead of expectations, and practice the art of receiving love as fully as you give it. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

Trust can break in small ways, or shatter completely. Craig and Michelle Pera, founders of The Mindful Habit, join us to talk about how they help couples navigate trust challenges — from minor breaches to sex and porn addiction. Drawing on their professional experience, and own healing journey, they give you practical tools to rebuild trust, deepen connection, and restore intimacy in your relationship. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: ELRUV6G8JHUP8JAW

If you want to feel more loved and respected in your relationships, this episode is for you. Shana talks with Karen McMahon, founder of Journey Beyond Divorce about how claiming your self-worth and setting healthy boundaries can transform your love life. The more you stand in your truth, protect your heart, and create deeper, more fulfilling connections Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

Most of us never got the "emotional potty training" we needed as kids. Instead, we learned to hide, suppress, or ignore our feelings, which often wreaks havoc in our adult love lives. In this Practicing Love episode, I talk with therapist Rachel Kaplan, author of Feel, Heal, and Let That Sh*t Go, about why learning to feel our emotions is the missing key to deeper intimacy, resilience, healing, and keeping a relationship alive. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: X6DOTPWFPO5ZGZDX

If you think shared values are the key to making a relationship last, think again. Shana James talks with Nick Brancato, author of Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test, about why relationships fall apart despite shared values. We discuss the real keys to lasting love and intimacy. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: 3XO0LDATK42BXEXU

If you've ever found yourself replaying childhood wounds in your romantic relationships, this episode explores how parent-child dynamics often show up in love. And how you can break the cycle and create a relationship rooted in wholeness, sovereignty, and joy. We look at the path from codependency to conscious connection — and what it takes to truly heal the mother and father wounds. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E

The relational patterns you learn in childhood shape your romantic relationships, often without you knowing it. In this episode, we dive deep into how early experiences influence adult love — and what it takes to unlearn those patterns to build real, lasting connection. Host Shana James and executive coach Jake Fishbein explore emotional resilience, trust, and the courage to embrace vulnerability in love. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: FTDWN40V3UIZ5PJL

A big reason many relationships fall apart is because most couples don't make clear, conscious agreements. In this episode, I talk with Krista and Will VanderVeer (hosts of The Art of We podcast) about how relationship agreements can profoundly deepen intimacy, support emotional repair, and help couples navigate the ups and downs of love with more grace and clarity. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: HDF76SDCD7O26RO5

We talk about the moments when anger builds within us, moments when a partner pulls away in anger, the downward spiral that can ensue, and how to find your way back to connection — even in the heat of the moment! Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

How do you stay in love when you disagree? In any relationship, disagreements are inevitable — but where do you draw the line? Can you love someone whose beliefs or values differ from your own? In this deep conversation, Sean Harvey (author of Warrior Compassion) and I explore how to stay connected even across painful divides. We talk about meeting the unmet needs beneath defensiveness, bridging polarization with radical compassion, and healing the divide — in love, in politics, and within ourselves. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: ELRUV6G8JHUP8JAW

Perimenopause isn't just challenging for women — it impacts relationships and intimacy in powerful ways. In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, men's mentor Kenny Mammarella-D'Cruz shares how he navigates fear, emotional triggers, and trauma to create deeper connection, intimacy, and love. We explore men's emotional growth, midlife relationships, and how to stay connected through hormonal changes. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!

What do you do when you've lost yourself (or parts of yourself) in love? In this heartfelt conversation Megan Walrod, author of It's Always Been Me, explores how to reclaim your voice, stop giving away your power, and stay true to yourself in your relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

On this episode of Practicing Love, we talk about spiritual intelligence, which can make relationships stronger — and hotter. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC  

Dr. Elliot Justin, a pioneer in men's sexual health, has developed innovative wearable technology to improve erectile function, sexual fitness, and intimacy. Having tracked over 70,000 erections, he's transforming how sexual health supports lasting pleasure and deeper connection as we age. Whether you're a man experiencing fading erections or a partner seeking greater sexual satisfaction and closeness, this episode is for you. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: X6DOTPWFPO5ZGZDX

What does it really take to satisfy a woman these days? In this conversation with Dr. Alanna Kaivalya, we explore the emotional, spiritual, and relational keys to true feminine fulfillment — and how both women and men can create more satisfying, connected love. Listen to this one if you're looking for more depth, and a partnership that actually works in today's world! Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: OHMHFXBSHHFV307Z

True Freedom is what allows us to have real love and supportive, healthy relationships. But freedom can be confusing when it's seen as an external rather than an internal quest. Today's guest talks about the surprising connection between freedom and commitment, and how you can be free in romantic relationships.  Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E

One of the keys to healthy, strong, connected relationships is emotional intelligence. Learning to listen and love from a deeper place doesn't come easy to many of us, but it can be learned! An expert in the field of awareness and relationship skills, Daniel Ellenberg brings powerful wisdom to have stronger and more satisfying relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: ELRUV6G8JHUP8JAW

Love can feel complicated. When I meet someone who sees the simplicity of love, and really knows how to love someone, I am quick to strike up a conversation to learn more. Whether you want to know what is true love in a relationship, or to bring more love to your entire life, Shaun helps you see how to get there. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: 3XO0LDATK42BXEXU

Today's Practicing Love and Man Alive podcast guest, Dr. Fred Rabinowitz, talks about how he navigates independence and connection in his relationship. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: CHROXRSGACRHE8NP

It's not always easy to keep sex and intimacy alive with all the responsibilities we have, and the fact pace of our world. Today, Mariah Freya, of Beducated, talks about sex education for adults, and how to support sex in long term relationships, as well as what it's like to reignite intimacy after becoming a parent. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!

While there are overlaps, communicating as a couple is different from communicating at work or with family. In a couple, in addition to building trust and respect, you have to help someone feel so safe with you that they will be vulnerable with their emotions and their body! Today's guest shares the most important communication skills for couples to keep their relationship connected, that also work in the dating phase.  Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: 15Q3WZOTKSNA4MJM   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E