RAMBLINGS OF A WOMAN

As human beings, we want people in our life who will be with us through every event that happens in our life. What we don’t realise is that, just as much as we want those people present in our lives, the people around us also expect us to be present in their lives; going through every moment with them in the best way we can. This building and growing with one another requires a lot of grace, patience, forgiveness and accommodation. People have to be willing to be held accountable and be committed to this process of give and take.

This episode looks at how we should learn to be thoughtful and caring manner we show for the next person’s needs, emotions and/or circumstances. It touches on how it is important ti think of the next person and how certain things impact them; what appreciation or reciprocation might look like to them.

Today’s episode looks at how I have had to hold space for every good thing that has happened to me. For the longest time, I thought that I had to be perform extraordinary things to feel like I deserved good things happening to and for me. It took away a part of who I am because I felt inadequate and the way other people’s wins looked bigger than mine. I had to learn how to hold space for my wins and accommodate them. Celebrating myself has been a big challenge but it has helped me love myself and my journey. I hope you can celebrate yourself and appreciate how far you’ve come and grown as a person.

This is a little pep talk from me to me. This is me saying goodbye to my 20s and looking for every good thing my 30s have to offer. It’s embracing the fact that moments have broken me but they’ve also made me rise up. It’s looking at moments and seeing how they’ve taught me to live the parts of me I deemed as unlovable. NB: My voice sounds the way it is because I was crying.

This episode looks at giving (yourself) in every relationship dynamic you encounter. I referenced myself and experiences heavily in this because as someone who thinks of themselves as a giver, I thought it was important to note that I was giving to everyone except myself. This created a great imbalance within myself which may or may not have contributed to how I was showing up for others.

In this episode I cover dating as a single mom (from my personal experience/perspective) and how there has been certain phrases that have made me double down my approach to dating in its entirety. Like I mentioned, I don’t categorise myself as insecure or anything of the sort, but certain words make you feel like having a preference and expectation as someone with a child is something that should be eliminated because for starters, you should feel honoured that someone approached you. And I am NOT EXCUSING women who abandon their children just for the promise of a better relationship. Also if you’re a mom who feels the need to have the men in your life do things for your child, please do not think of this as judgement but rather, those are your terms. And once again, I didn’t exhaust all the points I had in mind, I don’t want to get called for a family meeting y’all.

I was probably going on and on but overall, this episode looks at giving the people in your life room to grow; this may include mistakes but it’s not inclusive of detrimental mistakes. And this is a different season altogether!!!

This episode looks at choosing what you want in gourmet relationships and understanding your core values, dos and donts as well as your negotiables and nonnegotiables…in a very haphazard way lol.

In a world full of rules and regulations on what sort of people you should date or form relationships with, I think one thing that has gotten lost in translation or isn’t spoken on is the need to be the things we want to experience.

This episode looks at how we should learn to like, love and appreciate the people we call friends. And it touches on how as individuals we should be able to define what friendship means to us. Just like a romantic relationship, friendships are to be nurtured and an amazing experience through it all.

Today’s episode is for Women!! It being women’s month, I would like to speak life to you. Go out there and be the beautiful woman you’re meant to be and experience the finer things in life. NB: I don’t own the rights to this song.

Today’s episode was inspired by another one of Eartha Kitt’s quotes “A man has always wanted to lay me down but he never wanted to pick me up,” and its implications or translation in the simplest way. Using phrases such as “if he wanted to he would” to elaborate my POV and how quite problematic that statement is.

In today’s episode, I touch base on how art impacted my life and personality (which is not very mysterious of me lol).

In today’s episode we look at something I quoted from one Earth Kitt’s video for a complete breakdown from my perspective of course; talking about how “relationships are meant to be earned and not compromised for” plus how she wishes to share herself with someone else. I will be sure to share it on my socials soon. NB: I let you enjoy the music a little longer towards the end lol

Today’s episode sees me speaking *personally* on the humdrum of life and how being away from full time employment affected my mental wellbeing to a certain extent. This is obviously a bit too personal to speak on, but, I hope you surround yourself with people who love you and support you. It’s easy to be cruel to yourself so be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.

Today’s episode looks at the constant debates between gender and sex roles in relationships or marriages and how they’re being applied. I think it’s important to understand your person and form your relationship/partnership in a way that makes BOTH of you happy.

Today’s episode looks at the big love languages and a personal addition of mine. The take away note is to find ways of loving people in a way that makes an impact in their understanding of love. background audio :(. My voice was incredibly on the lower end of the monotone scale.

In today’s episode we look at the famous question “what do you bring to the table?” I think it’s important to phrase this question inwardly and ask ourselves [read as men] “what do I bring to the table/what does my table look like to start with?” I apologise my voice sounds a bit low, I am battling seasonal allergies.

This episode looks at the dating trends of older men dating girls <25. Kindly note that my opinion is subjective.

In this episode, I highlight certain differences between vulnerability and openness. This also looks at how the two are used interchangeably and can be confused for the other.

NB: There’s feedback on the mic and I apologise for that. This episode looks at the weird dynamics humans have created with regard to relationships. The over complication of how to relate to/with each other.

NB: I apologise for the bits where my audio kept phasing out, my voice felt like it would go. But anyway, the show must go on!! Hyper independence can be such an isolating tool and it cuts down your need for connectivity with the people around you as a way to self preserve and protect yourself. I hope this explains how you can overcome it [to a certain extent] or rather sit with it and find ways to navigate around it.

Welcome to 2024!!!! This episode being the first episode in 2024, looks at how this question is a “norm” especially in romantic relationships. I think there’s a lot to unpack with regard to this question that I may not have answered in its entirety but I hope there’s some semblance of truth in it that resonates with my audience.

TW: Abuse. This episode is dedicated specifically for the 16 days of activism against (S)GBV. It looks at different types of abuse, fgm, the #metoo and men are trash movements. For further reading, please see below: https://www.endfgm.eu/female-genital-mutilation/what-is-fgm/ https://www.api-gbv.org/about-gbv/types-of-gbv/ https://www.susqu.edu/campus-life/student-safety/violence-intervention-and-prevention-center/types-of-gender-based-violence/ https://www.ohchr.org/en/women/16-days-activism-against-gender-based-violence https://www.okayafrica.com/amp/real-story-behind-menaretrash-south-africas-viral-hashtag-2476718951 https://www.britannica.com/topic/Me-Too-movement

I think in as much as I was speaking to my audience, I was speaking to myself as well because this life thing really has going in circles. To quote from one of my favourite books “The Fault In Our Stars by John Green,” ‘Pain demands to be felt’; meaning I think we have to make peace with everything we feel and have obviously done and find ways to continue or forge ahead.

Navigating grief and every emotion that comes with it. Understanding that there is no timeline for healing and processing loss.

NB: I am basing this information off research and observations. Abortions and access to contraceptives are healthcare options that every woman of childbearing age should have access to regardless of their social status. Conversations without biases about abortion and contraceptives and the effects should be conducted to ensure every woman has the necessary information at hand. The shame based attitude towards abortion, contraceptive knowledge and miscarriages should be shunned. Stitched here are links that can be used for any research purposes, questions or information you may want https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/treatment-tests-and-therapies/tubal-ligation, https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/vasectomy/about/pac-20384580, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9688-miscarriage, https://www.familyplanning.org.nz/advice/contraception/contraception-methods and https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion.

NB: I came with so much vim but it’s really from a good place. But all in all, this analogy stems from fear and deep unresolved issues we have about relationships. The “dog eat dog” narrative is heavy in our minds and we continue to hurt ourselves just to stay afloat. We need to do better.

For collapsed doggy, I meant lay down on your tummy; I got so lost in the sauce lol.

So this episode covers the diagnosis, treatment and a few myths about mental health illnesses. It is important to remember that mental health illness needs to be addressed and taken seriously; and if you are suffering from a mental health condition, you are not alone but you are loved and cared for. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/154543#early-signs and https://positivepsychology.com/nervous-system-regulation/.

NB: I am not a certified psychologist or psychiatrist or professional with regard to mental health so this information is based on research, experience and observations. In this episode we look at the definition, causes, types (briefly) and early symptoms of mental health disorders. Mental health is critical for the overall wellbeing and functionality of an individual. The need to take it seriously is critical and everyone needs to play a role. For further information, please visit these links https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/154543#early-signs and https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/learn/index.htm as my source of information about the episode.

Still talking about relationships and how society has changed the rules of engagement with regard to accountability and working towards the relationships “they claim to want” but don’t strive for.

I heavily freestyled in this episode so I hope this makes sense.

PS: My brain was not braining today. So despite being slow while reading the text, this episode looks at how certain experiences from your childhood determine how you relate with the people around you. For further reading; http://explorable.com/bowlby-attachment-theory and https://ccaa.net.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/TheEffectsOfTraumaOnAttachment.pdf.

Disclaimer: I am not a qualified psychologist but rather this is an overly simplified version on trauma and how it affects people. There’s a lot of rambling and smooshing of words; I meant “defragmentation” and not the word used but alas, my brain combined two words to make one.

So this is basically an introduction to the “Ramblings of a Mad Woman.” There’s nothing really talked about but stick around and I hope this can be one of your go to podcasts. Cheers. Xx