Redeem the Commute - Parenting Children - Audio
by Redeem the Commute
Are you a parent, step-parent or carer of one of more children aged o to 10 years? Are you expecting your first child? Would you like your family life to be the best it can be?If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions, then this course is for you, whether you feel all is going well or you are facing challenges. This course is for every type of parenting situation, including parenting on your own, step-parenting and parenting as a couple. Whatever your situation, the practical tools you learn can help you to improve and strengthen your family life.
Episodes
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Day 48 - Conclusion - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Question: Write down the three most important things you’ve learned/been reminded of on this course. Write down three changes you have made/would make in response. Use the attached worksheet if you like.
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Day 47 - Developing family traditions, routines, and rituals - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• traditions create a family identity • help our children feel they belong • positive traditions reinforce our values • our children will be more secure and better able to resist peer pressure when necessary • daily routines (see Session 1) • weekly traditions • family night (see Session 1) •...
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Day 46 - Praying for our children - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• never too soon to start (see the account of John the Baptist in the womb in Luke 1:44, The Bible) • never too late to start (see the Parable of the Lost Son in Luke 15: 11-24, The Bible) • turn fears and longings into prayers • when to pray: o with them before they go to sleep o teaching them…
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Day 45 - Passing on Beliefs and Values At Home, With Others and On Money - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
2. Our home environment • make your home a place that your children want to come back to, where: • they are free to be individuals not in a straightjacket of conformity • there are boundaries but not legalism • there is discipline but not authoritarianism • there is more encouragement than...
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Day 44 - Passing on Beliefs and Values - Answering Questions - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
How do we pass on our beliefs and values? • our values are what we consider most important and will be reflected in how we spend our time, money, and energy • what values are we modeling to our children? • “notional values” and "real values” • our values come from our core beliefs 1. Answering…
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Day 43 - Good Choices - The Internet, Games, Drugs and Alcohol - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
The Internet and Games • alert children to the benefits and dangers • put filters on home computers • keep computers in family room • enforce time limits for being online and playing games Drugs and alcohol • have conversations throughout their upbringing • equip them with the facts to inform and...
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Day 42 - Good Choices - Sex - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• drip-feed information • answer their questions • use opportunities for conversations. o e.q: magazine articles, TV programs, films, etc. • talk about right and wrong touch • give them a helpful book to read before they reach puberty and offer to discuss it with them Question: How can you try to...
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Day 41 - Symptoms of Unhealthy Control - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
I. Micro-managing our children's lives • helicopter parenting - hovering over our children • children don't learn how to think for themselves 2. Being over-competitive for our children • puts undue pressure on children 3. Overscheduling our children's lives • can be caused by fear that our…
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Day 40 - Encouraging Responsibility - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Training our children for healthy independence • we don't own our children • we are helping our children move from parental control to self-control • letting them go can be hard for parents • a gradual process over eighteen years • allow them to make their own decisions and learn from their own...
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Day 39 - Teaching our children to manage their anger Part II - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
3. Model how to resolve conflict well • allow your children to see you, as adults, resolving conflict and making up • when we make mistakes as parents, we must say sorry to our children • when they make mistakes, we must forgive • don't allow hurt and buried anger to fester Question: How could…
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Day 38 - Teaching our children to manage their anger - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
1. Recognize it's a long process • typically it takes at least eighteen years! • help them to realize that talking through an issue that has upset them is more productive than behaving badly 2, Try to find the root cause of the anger • listen to your child • HALT - are they Hungry, Anxious…
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Day 37 - Helping our children manage their anger - Older children Ages 5-10 - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• read each child’s way of showing anger • aim to teach them "expression," rather than aggression or "suppression" • help them to express anger appropriately (verbally and pleasantly) • correct rudeness, destructive behavior, swearing, hitting others, etc. - without shutting them down • allow…
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Day 36 - Helping our children manage their anger - Toddler tantrums - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• normal toddler behavior between twenty months and four years old • you are not a bad parent • remember HALT • think ahead - distractions, choices, routines When faced with full-blown tantrum • assume impassive face and body language • if in public, stay close or hold with firm hug till anger...
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Day 35 - Handling anger - Ours and theirs - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Unhelpful reactions to anger • some people react like a rhino - when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively • some people react like a hedgehog - when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings • learning to control our anger • Recognize the root of our...
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Day 34 - Relationships with siblings and other children Part III - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
3. Have time together as a family • don't always eat separately • don't have several TVs in the house • organize family nights, family outings, family vacations • do chores together • allow them to have fun together, playing childish games, being silly, playing outside • don't always entertain...
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Day 33 - Relationships with siblings and other children Part II - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
2. Don't try to arbitrate every fight • give them space to work out their own disagreements • remain impartial- don't always blame the older child or jump to conclusions • intervene if they are hurting each other • don't allow unkind words or bullying • think ahead for regular issues that cause...
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Day 32 - Relationships with siblings and other children Part I - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
1. Don't compare • value each child for his/her uniqueness • avoid labeling • don't make one look good by putting another down Question: What could help you listen effectively to your child(ren) particularly when they are expressing negative emotions such as hurt, anger, disappointment, or sadness?
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Day 31 - The Power of Listening - Part II - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Show an interest • involves effort and generosity • listen to what appeals to your child(ren) Avoid shutting them down • value their ideas • allow them to express negative feelings such as disappointments, embarrassments, sadness, anxiety, and anger. Reflect back • repeat back to your child what...
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Day 30 - The Power of Listening - Part I - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Pay Full Attention • recognize the important moments to show you are listening • maintain eye contact Question: What distracts you from listening to your children fully? How can you minimize those distractions? Complete the worksheet
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Day 29 - Modeling and Practicing Relationships - The Power of Listening - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Question: Think of an example of a boundary you needed to impose this week. What was the result?
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Day 28 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part IV - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
8. Work together When both parents are involved: • agree on a strategy (may require compromise) • be consistent • support each other With other parent only: Question: Can you think of an issue where you could work together more effectively as parents? Discuss the issue and try to agree on a joint...
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Day 27 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part III - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
7. Follow through with consequences • don't use idle threats - only give warnings that you can follow through with work out effective consequences Question: A few days ago we asked about a difficult disciplinary situation for your family. What principles from these sessions are most helpful in…
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Day 26 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part II - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
4. Be one step ahead • use distraction, distract your child from the issue causing conflict • develop your own tarntlu rules to avoid regular arguments 5. Give choices • being given choices is an important part of a child’s learning to take responsibility • give choices over issues that are...
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Day 25 - Helping Children Make Good Choices Part I - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
1. Be Fair and Clear • are they old enough to understand our instructions? • are we expecting too much for their age? 2. Use your voice effectively • use a serious tone of voice to teach what "no" means • aim not to shout unless warning of danger 3. Action gets results • shouting and threatening...
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Day 24 - Setting Boundaries Part II - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Choose the Right Battles • pause for thought • stop to think about whether your child is: HALT o H - Hungry o A - Anxious o L - Lonely o T - Tired • Or, are you? Recognize natural childishness • Recognize the difference between natural childishness and disobedience • This halves the battles we…
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Day 23 - Setting Boundaries Part I - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Right and Wrong Choices • teach the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior • explain the consequences - pleasant for good behavior and unpleasant for crossing the boundary • tell them that the choice is theirs • teaches them to take responsibility for their own actions • reward...
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Day 22 - Where do we set boundaries - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• extremes are dangerous - either in harshness or permissiveness • create a balance and aim to be authoritative rather than authoritarian, indulgent, or neglectful Question: Complete the attached worksheet. What style of parenting do you tend to adopt? Is this because of the way you were parented?
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Day 21 - The Challenges of Setting Boundaries - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Setting boundaries isn’t easy! We look at some of the challenges. Question: With your own child(ren) what are the most difficult situations when discipline is required? What boundaries, if any, do you have in those situations?
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Day 20 - Combining Love and Limits - Why Boundaries Matter - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Why do we set boundaries? • the foundation of effective discipline is unconditional love • a child growing up wants and needs to know where the boundaries are and who is going to enforce them Discipline develops three things: • self- discipline (for morally responsible behavior) • a respect for...
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Day 19 – Summary of the Love Languages - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• We need to express love to our child(ren) in all five ways • some expressions of love/love languages will be more important to them than others • as our children grow older we need to try to recognize their primary and secondary ways of feeling loved • pay particular attention to using their...
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Day 18 – Love Language – Kind Actions - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Kind actions are a great way for parents to show love!
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Day 17 – Love Language – Thoughtful Presents - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Are presents a valid love language?
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Day 16 – Love Language – One to One Time - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• our children crave to be noticed by us and crave our attention • special time with each child develops their self-esteem and their ability to relate to others • can be difficult for us as parents to recognize this need and to fulfill it • the more children we have, the more planning and…
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Day 15 – Love Language – Affectionate and Appropriate Touch - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Physical contact is vital to a child
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Day 14 – Love Language – Affirming Words - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Affirming words can really build up a child!
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Day 13 – Introduction to the Love Languages II - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Learn about the five Love Languages
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Day 12 – Introduction to the Love Languages - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
self-confidence is built through knowing we are loved self-confidence enables us: • to be different when we need to be • to build close relationships • our children have “emotional tanks" which need to be kept full • their behavior acts as the gauge showing the level in the tank Question: What…
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Day 11 – Bedtimes - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Bedtimes are a very important routine!
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Day 10 – The Importance of Establishing Routines - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• routine brings security and safety • children thrive on routine Regular Mealtimes: • help to provide a healthy diet • give opportunities to be together as a family • many benefits of sitting around a table Question: What routines have you developed in your family life? What new routines would…
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Day 9 – The Importance of Bonding - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• for children, love is spelled T.I.M.E. • children need quantity time as well as quality time • significance of first eighteen months of a child's life • who will be our child's main caregiver? It can be hard to work out balance of parenting and employment • working at home/from home •...
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Day 8 – Screentime - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
We look at the importance of limiting screen time in young children. Question: How can your family reduce everyone’s screen time?
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Day 7 – Setting Goals and The Importance of Play - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• having a vision for our familu life • pausing to think about what we want to achieve • what will our children’s memories be of us and their home in twenty years, time? Goals for our family life - When they are adults, will our children associate their upbringing with: • having fun together as a...
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Day 6 – Practicing Healthy Relationships (and Parenting Alone) - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Practicing: sibling-sibling (and other peer relationships) Children learn to relate through practicinq with brothers, Sisters, and friends • how to plan together • how to share • how to handle arguments • how to apologize and forgive Question: What could you do to invest in the various...
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Day 5 – Experiencing & Observing Healthy Relationships - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family: • parent-child • mother-father • sibling-sibling • grandparent-grandchild • uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. Experiencing: parent-child relationship • children learn to love through...
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Day 4 – Family Provides Fun & A Moral Compass - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
• value of laughter • plan special family times • make sure the time is clear of any other commitments for every member of the family • prevent interruptions from the telephone or other people (unless they are invited with the understanding that it is family time Suggested routine for family…
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Day 3 – Family Provides Support - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
our children will experience: • rejection • disappointment • failure they should experience in their family: • acceptance • love • encouragement Question: How can you intentionally be more physically or emotionally “there” to support your child(ren) this week?
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Day 2 - Challenges - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
We look at the challenges facing families today. Question: What about parenting challenges you most today?
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Day 1 - Introduction - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
An introduction to the parenting children course. • any expectations to be perfect parents are unrealistic and unhelpful • no instant recipe or formula for bringing up children • different situations and different children call for different approaches • some general principles that apply to all...
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About the Parenting Children Course - Parenting Children Ages 0-10
About the course
About this show
Are you a parent, step-parent or carer of one of more children aged o to 10 years? Are you expecting your first child? Would you like your family life to be the best it can be?If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions, then this course is for you, whether you feel all is going well or you are facing challenges. This course is for every type of parenting situation, including parenting on your own, step-parenting and parenting as a couple. Whatever your situation, the practical tools you learn can help you to improve and strengthen your family life.
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