Relationships Made Easy

If you've ever said, "My picker is broken," I want you to stop right there. Your picker isn't broken. It's working exactly the way it was trained to work. The problem is what it was trained on, and that's something you can actually change. In this episode, I'm going to walk you through the three psychological mechanisms that explain why you keep ending up in the same painful patterns, why that person who seemed so amazing kept disappointing you, and what you can concretely do to choose differently starting today. You're going to get the reframe, and then, as always, you're going to get the tools.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-keep-choosing-the-wrong-partnerDownload The Pattern Snapshot, a quick self-assessment to name what's actually driving your relationship pattern: https://abbymedcalf.com/pattern-snapshotJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You've tried to change. You've done the work. And you still find yourself asking: why do I keep doing this? Today, I want to give you a framework that might finally answer that question. It's called Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and it explains why you react so differently depending on who you're with, why self-compassion feels impossible no matter how many times someone tells you to practice it, and why you keep choosing the same kind of person even when you know better. Nothing is wrong with you. You might just be missing a map.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-internal-family-systems-ifs-therapyDownload The 8 C's Self-Energy Check: How much Self-energy are you accessing right now? https://abbymedcalf.com/self-energy-checkJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you've spent most of your life being told you're too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, that you need to toughen up, let things go, stop taking everything so personally, this episode is for you. Today, I'm going to walk you through what the research actually says about being a highly sensitive person, or HSP. We'll look at what's happening in your brain, why the world feels so intense for you, how to recognize this trait in yourself, and most importantly, what you can actually do with this information so your sensitivity stops running your life and starts working for you instead. And, as always, I'm going to give you five practical tools so you can start feeling more at ease with who you are, right now.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/highly-sensitive-person-hsp-science-toolsAre you an HSP? Take the assessment: https://abbymedcalf.com/hsp-self-assessmentJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

There's a word people use all the time that’s causing you a lot of unneeded suffering, mostly because you’re using it incorrectly. That word is guilty. You say you feel guilty for canceling plans. Guilty for not calling your mom back sooner. Guilty for wanting more space in your relationship. Guilty for saying no. But the vast majority of the time, what you're calling guilt isn't guilt at all! You've got the wrong label on a very real feeling, and that mislabel is keeping you stuck, second-guessing yourself, and apologizing for things you don't actually owe an apology for.Today, I'm going to tell you what guilt actually is, walk you through the four things people most commonly mistake for guilt, and give you a three-step, concrete process for figuring out what you're really feeling so you can deal with it effectively. Because you can't solve the right problem if you've named it wrong._________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/you-dont-feel-guiltyDownload Is It Actually Guilt? A Quick Diagnostic to Name What You're Really Feeling: https:/abbymedcalf.com/is-it-guilt  Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you ever felt guilty for wanting space? Like needing a little distance from someone you love means something is wrong with you, or with the relationship? Or maybe you've watched someone you're dating and thought, "Why does their family seem to know everything about everything and have an opinion on all of it?" What you might be looking at, in both cases, is enmeshment. Today we're talking about what enmeshment actually is, how to recognize it in yourself and in the people around you, and why the line between being close and being enmeshed matters more than most people realize. I'll give you the signs across romantic relationships, family dynamics, and friendships, including what to watch out for if you're dating someone from an enmeshed family. And I'll give you tools to start untangling it without blowing up the relationships that matter to you.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/enmeshment-in-relationshipsGet the quick self-assessment called Am I Enmeshed or Just Close? It'll walk you through the key questions to help you figure out what's actually going on in your most important relationships: https://abbymedcalf.com/am-i-enmeshedJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substackYou'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You’ve tried unfollowing people, making gratitude lists, staying in your own lane. And you still compare yourself to others. So what gives? You can’t stop comparing because you were never supposed to, and comparison isn’t a bad habit you can decide to quit. It’s a cognitive function, and you can’t opt out of cognitive functions. Every piece of advice that tells you to just stop is working against your own brain, which is exactly why it never sticks.Today you’ll learn why comparison is hardwired into you, why the standard advice fails, why some people get pulled into it more painfully than others, and the specific shifts that actually make a difference.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-cant-stop-comparing-yourself-to-othersDownload the What Is This Comparison Really Telling You? Worksheet that walks you through identifying your own comparison triggers, what they’re actually pointing at, and how to redirect when the spiral starts: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-this-comparisonJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You're doing fine. Really. You've got work handled, the relationship seems okay, you've moved on from that fight or that disappointment, and you're not thinking about it anymore. Except, you kind of are. You just don't know it yet. That's what compartmentalization does: it doesn't actually clear your feelings away. It boxes them up and slides them onto a shelf so you can keep functioning. And that shelf? It fills up. Stay with me, because today we're going to talk about what compartmentalization actually is, why your brain learned to do it, what it costs you in relationships, and what you can do to start clearing those shelves before they collapse._________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/compartmentalization-in-relationships Download the Self-Assessment, Am I Compartmentalizing? https://abbymedcalf.com/compartmentalizing-assessmentJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodesReady to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopA great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I get asked two questions a lot: First, how do you get so much done every day? And second, how do you seem so happy all the time? The answer to both questions is the same: I owe it all to my morning routine. Today I’m going to take you through my easy to adopt, five-step morning routine which will only take you 15 minutes but offer you huge results!   Full blog and shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/abbys-step-by-step-guide-to-starting-your-day-right Grab my FREE Meditation Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/meditation-starter-kit/ Learn to Meditate for 15 Minutes in 15 Days! Meditation Album: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/learn-to-meditate-for-15-minutes-in-just-15-days/ Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________ Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com/ For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/ A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/ Say hello on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AbbyThriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/abbymedcalfphd/ YouTube: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThrivingAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you dealing with family stress? Lashing out at your mom for that condescending thing she said? Feeling guilty that you’re avoiding your dad because he drives you crazy? Today you’re going to learn my top 3 tips on how to not get triggered by family stress so you can find joy and peace in your relationship with your parents and siblings. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/got-family-stress-how-to-not-get-triggered-by-family-2/ Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit here: https://abbymedcalf.com/got-family-stress-how-to-not-get-triggered-by-family-2/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/got-family-stress-how-to-not-get-triggered-by-family/ _____________________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com/   For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving   Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book     Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my courses (some are free!): https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/   Say hello on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AbbyThriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving YouTube: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThrivingAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you feel pressure from your partner to be happy or “get over it” when you’re struggling? Does your best friend dismiss or minimize your difficult feelings? When you’re hurt, does your mom say, “You should be grateful” or “Look on the bright side?” You might be dealing with toxic positivity that leaves you feeling resentful, guilty or even ashamed but I’m here to help with my not-so-secret secret to turning these relationships around so you can feel heard and truly cared for. Mindfulness Starter Kit (scroll down and enter your nanme and email): https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-deal-with-toxic-positivity-in-all-your-relationships/ Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-deal-with-toxic-positivity-in-all-your-relationships/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-deal-with-toxic-positivity-in-all-your-relationships-2/   ----------------------------------- Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://abbymedcalf.com/   For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving   Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book     Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my courses (some are free!): https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/   Say hello on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AbbyThriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving   FACEBOOK     Subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving   Read the blog or sign up for the newsletter: https://abbymedcalf.com/blog/   Buy my book, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book   Take one of my courses: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy